1 00:00:00,315 --> 00:00:03,307 Okay, well, it's too small to be a cat hotel 2 00:00:03,332 --> 00:00:05,291 and it's too big to be pants. 3 00:00:05,316 --> 00:00:06,143 So it's not mine. 4 00:00:06,168 --> 00:00:08,417 Me neither. I pick up all my deliveries at the port. 5 00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:09,908 - The what? At the port? - Yeah. 6 00:00:09,933 --> 00:00:10,783 What are you doing at the port? 7 00:00:10,789 --> 00:00:12,976 Picking up my deliveries. Listen. 8 00:00:14,509 --> 00:00:15,945 You drive all the way down to the port? 9 00:00:15,970 --> 00:00:18,405 - Yes. - Well, it's not mine. I only buy local. 10 00:00:18,891 --> 00:00:21,693 Except, of course, for clothing and produce. Medication, 11 00:00:21,727 --> 00:00:23,726 - water, seasoning, meat. - Maybe it's Cece's. 12 00:00:23,751 --> 00:00:25,788 - Isn't she packing up her apartment? - It's not Cece's. 13 00:00:25,813 --> 00:00:27,781 She's packing right now, and Jess is going over there later 14 00:00:27,816 --> 00:00:30,984 to toast the place good-bye. 'Cause they're adorable. 15 00:00:31,019 --> 00:00:32,920 - Would you consider us adorable? - No, 16 00:00:32,954 --> 00:00:34,445 we're adult men. 17 00:00:34,844 --> 00:00:35,722 We're cute. 18 00:00:36,390 --> 00:00:37,958 Oh, hey! 19 00:00:37,992 --> 00:00:39,960 My box is here. 20 00:00:39,994 --> 00:00:42,462 - Do you need help? - Oh... 21 00:00:42,497 --> 00:00:44,932 Yeah, I was just gonna put it... Put it down right there. 22 00:00:44,966 --> 00:00:46,529 - Awesome. - Jess, is it me, 23 00:00:46,554 --> 00:00:49,383 or has your job become a poo poo festival? 24 00:00:49,408 --> 00:00:53,106 No, it's fine. It's just the new principal, Becky Cavatappi. 25 00:00:53,141 --> 00:00:56,310 She took over for Foster when he retired. I do all her work 26 00:00:56,344 --> 00:00:59,046 and she does all the working of her cleavage. 27 00:01:00,078 --> 00:01:01,882 But the budget's your job, Becky. 28 00:01:01,916 --> 00:01:04,139 Ah... Principal Cavatappi. 29 00:01:04,164 --> 00:01:05,252 Like I always say: 30 00:01:05,286 --> 00:01:07,821 don't call me Becky unless you're riding me like a horse. 31 00:01:09,190 --> 00:01:10,961 We work in a middle school. 32 00:01:12,054 --> 00:01:13,092 Really. 33 00:01:13,117 --> 00:01:16,730 This is the budget, or the next week of my life. 34 00:01:17,665 --> 00:01:19,233 You know what they say... 35 00:01:19,267 --> 00:01:22,002 your life is just weeks and then you die. 36 00:01:22,036 --> 00:01:23,172 Uh, Jess, 37 00:01:23,197 --> 00:01:24,605 - are you sure you're okay? - Yeah. 38 00:01:24,639 --> 00:01:26,607 I just got this for a little stress relief. 39 00:01:26,641 --> 00:01:28,742 Oh, Schmidt, 40 00:01:28,776 --> 00:01:30,544 will you be a dear and text Cece 41 00:01:30,578 --> 00:01:32,646 and tell her I'm gonna be about, like, ten minutes late? 42 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:33,814 - Yeah, sure. - Thanks. 43 00:01:33,848 --> 00:01:34,848 Aah! 44 00:01:36,859 --> 00:01:38,752 Becky! Becky! 45 00:01:38,786 --> 00:01:40,087 I hate you! 46 00:01:50,281 --> 00:01:51,031 Hi! 47 00:01:51,065 --> 00:01:53,634 - Hello. - Look who I brought. The French. 48 00:01:53,668 --> 00:01:55,502 Bonjour. Oh, it's Prosecco, it's Italian. 49 00:01:55,537 --> 00:01:57,600 So grazie. 50 00:01:57,625 --> 00:01:59,415 Oh, it's Polish Prosecco. 51 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:02,309 So that's on me for buying it at a gas station. 52 00:02:02,343 --> 00:02:03,844 Long week of work ahead of me. 53 00:02:03,878 --> 00:02:06,179 - I'm looking forward to a fun night! - Okay, Jess, I should 54 00:02:06,214 --> 00:02:07,859 tell you before I... 55 00:02:08,483 --> 00:02:10,951 I know I said I was done packing, but I'm not done, 56 00:02:10,985 --> 00:02:12,653 and the reason I'm not done is because I didn't do anything, 57 00:02:12,687 --> 00:02:14,488 and I have to get out before tomorrow, 58 00:02:14,522 --> 00:02:15,789 otherwise I lose my deposit. 59 00:02:15,824 --> 00:02:16,790 Oh, Cece. 60 00:02:16,825 --> 00:02:18,692 - I know. - Cece, Cece, Cece. 61 00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:24,231 Cece, Cece, Cece, Cece, Cece... 62 00:02:25,366 --> 00:02:27,134 - Hey, guys. - Hey, Winston. 63 00:02:27,168 --> 00:02:30,237 I did it. I told Aly I need a new partner. 64 00:02:30,271 --> 00:02:32,506 - What? I thought you had a crush on her. - Yeah. 65 00:02:32,540 --> 00:02:34,107 Well, exactly. You know, here's the problem. 66 00:02:34,142 --> 00:02:36,281 She keeps talking about her boyfriend and his 67 00:02:36,306 --> 00:02:38,679 "ass that you want to open on Christmas." 68 00:02:38,713 --> 00:02:39,680 - What? - But it's fine. 69 00:02:39,714 --> 00:02:40,681 You know, 70 00:02:40,715 --> 00:02:41,715 she took it better than I thought. 71 00:02:41,749 --> 00:02:43,183 Screw you. 72 00:02:43,922 --> 00:02:44,885 Here's your crap: 73 00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:47,054 lucky crystal, key chain fart marker, 74 00:02:47,088 --> 00:02:49,356 over a hundred yogurt tops, 75 00:02:49,390 --> 00:02:50,891 your flattened penny collection, 76 00:02:50,925 --> 00:02:53,694 a signed copy of a Paul Reiser biography, 77 00:02:53,728 --> 00:02:55,561 baby carrot thumb drive, 78 00:02:55,586 --> 00:02:57,831 a picture of you and Dave Coulier, 79 00:02:57,866 --> 00:03:00,434 loose Pez, my mom's cell number, 80 00:03:00,468 --> 00:03:03,036 a ticket stub from Urinetown. 81 00:03:03,071 --> 00:03:04,738 When did you even see that? 82 00:03:06,574 --> 00:03:08,617 - Why? Why? - Oh, have you... 83 00:03:08,641 --> 00:03:09,828 Have you tried 'em on? 84 00:03:10,781 --> 00:03:12,913 Oh, and your Pure Mood CD. 85 00:03:12,947 --> 00:03:16,483 This thing makes me want to swim into a boat motor. 86 00:03:16,518 --> 00:03:18,476 Oh... 87 00:03:19,617 --> 00:03:20,888 new partner's here. 88 00:03:20,922 --> 00:03:24,258 Guys, as they say, when one chapter ends, 89 00:03:24,292 --> 00:03:26,927 a bridge appears, and then you cross that bridge 90 00:03:26,961 --> 00:03:29,711 and make lemonade out of a molehill. 91 00:03:30,008 --> 00:03:30,831 Okay. 92 00:03:30,865 --> 00:03:32,900 Hiya, partner. 93 00:03:32,934 --> 00:03:35,569 That's, uh, "hi" in karate. Hiya! 94 00:03:35,603 --> 00:03:37,371 That's cool. 95 00:03:38,187 --> 00:03:40,812 You don't mind if we listen to some car jams, do you? 96 00:03:40,837 --> 00:03:43,210 Well, man, let's just get right to track seven. 97 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:46,747 Elation. 98 00:03:52,187 --> 00:03:53,387 Oh! 99 00:03:53,421 --> 00:03:55,489 - I'm okay, it's fine, it's fine, yeah. - You okay, you good? 100 00:03:55,523 --> 00:03:57,124 It's not gonna end well for these two. 101 00:03:57,158 --> 00:03:58,859 I wouldn't trust him to watch a ball pit. 102 00:03:58,893 --> 00:04:01,109 Hey, could I get a cream soda? 103 00:04:01,134 --> 00:04:03,597 Dude, we both know what you're gonna do. 104 00:04:03,631 --> 00:04:05,332 Don't. It's not cool. 105 00:04:10,008 --> 00:04:11,805 What? We have a flasher. 106 00:04:15,039 --> 00:04:16,743 You know what, maybe if we get drunk, then magically 107 00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:18,245 everything will just happen. 108 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:19,246 No, no. 109 00:04:19,280 --> 00:04:20,681 No drinking until you've packed. 110 00:04:20,715 --> 00:04:21,915 Look, I get 111 00:04:21,950 --> 00:04:23,617 that you're freaking out about moving, 112 00:04:23,651 --> 00:04:25,452 but we can do this. We need to make 113 00:04:25,487 --> 00:04:27,254 a keep pile and a toss pile, okay? 114 00:04:27,288 --> 00:04:28,789 Keep or toss, keep or toss. 115 00:04:28,823 --> 00:04:31,258 Ugh. 116 00:04:31,292 --> 00:04:34,828 Uh... Hi, Becky. Sorry, Principal Cavatappi. 117 00:04:34,863 --> 00:04:36,730 Jess, remember that binder? 118 00:04:36,765 --> 00:04:38,432 Yeah. Yup, I've got it right here. 119 00:04:38,466 --> 00:04:39,633 I'll have it done 120 00:04:39,667 --> 00:04:41,168 by the end of the week. 121 00:04:41,202 --> 00:04:43,570 Yeah, I mixed up the budget due date. 122 00:04:43,605 --> 00:04:44,838 I took my contacts out 123 00:04:44,873 --> 00:04:46,039 'cause they're ugly. 124 00:04:46,074 --> 00:04:47,808 So I kind of can't read stuff. 125 00:04:47,842 --> 00:04:49,289 I'll need it tomorrow. 126 00:04:50,311 --> 00:04:52,279 Um... Uh, yeah, 127 00:04:52,313 --> 00:04:54,154 uh, but it's a week's worth of work. 128 00:04:54,179 --> 00:04:56,875 You get it done or you're fired. 129 00:04:57,383 --> 00:04:59,386 I have to do a week's worth of work in a night. 130 00:05:00,522 --> 00:05:01,955 So we got to get through this quick. 131 00:05:01,990 --> 00:05:03,719 Keep or toss, keep or toss. 132 00:05:03,744 --> 00:05:05,869 Cece, that sweatshirt has a wine stain on it 133 00:05:05,894 --> 00:05:07,828 and an off-brand Looney Tunes character. 134 00:05:07,862 --> 00:05:10,397 George Bunny? Who the hell is that? 135 00:05:10,431 --> 00:05:11,932 You're right. Keep. 136 00:05:11,966 --> 00:05:13,890 - Toss! - No, keep, keep! 137 00:05:16,239 --> 00:05:19,401 I'm calling the cops. There is a man pulling out his privates 138 00:05:19,426 --> 00:05:21,060 - in our bar. - Oh, big whoop. 139 00:05:21,095 --> 00:05:23,229 It used to be worse. It used to be more interactive. 140 00:05:23,264 --> 00:05:24,964 - What do mean, interactive? - Interactive. 141 00:05:24,999 --> 00:05:26,966 - You showed, too? - No, it was more like tennis, 142 00:05:27,001 --> 00:05:28,835 like... 143 00:05:29,512 --> 00:05:30,169 Exit. 144 00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:31,504 What's the second... 145 00:05:34,642 --> 00:05:36,242 Now it's just... 146 00:05:36,478 --> 00:05:37,433 And I'm... 147 00:05:38,470 --> 00:05:40,170 This is a problem. Wi-Winston. 148 00:05:40,195 --> 00:05:42,229 New partner is working out great, man. 149 00:05:42,254 --> 00:05:43,955 You know, we have a lot in common. 150 00:05:43,989 --> 00:05:46,491 Both have cats, both partially blind... 151 00:05:46,525 --> 00:05:47,992 me, color, him, night. 152 00:05:48,027 --> 00:05:50,019 Well, that sounds dangerous. Winston, listen to me. 153 00:05:50,044 --> 00:05:51,663 We have some very serious police business here. 154 00:05:51,697 --> 00:05:53,965 The bar has a flasher. A strange man 155 00:05:53,999 --> 00:05:56,582 is regularly showing Nick his funky soup bone. 156 00:05:56,614 --> 00:05:58,048 I'm sure he doesn't even care. 157 00:05:58,083 --> 00:06:01,318 I care about that greatly, Nick. I will be right there. 158 00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:03,587 - Whoa, partner. - Oh, oh, 159 00:06:03,621 --> 00:06:05,389 - oh, my goodness. Hey, didn't see... - Seat's taken. 160 00:06:05,423 --> 00:06:08,325 - the seat was taken there, Winston, I... - Yeah, I usually ride shotgun 161 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:11,495 because I get motion sickness as a decision-maker. 162 00:06:11,529 --> 00:06:13,297 Yeah, well, I lose all hand strength 163 00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:15,899 with absolutely no warning. Just... 164 00:06:16,968 --> 00:06:18,269 Damn it. 165 00:06:18,303 --> 00:06:21,271 Mm... I'm sorry, I'll be fast. Mm... 166 00:06:23,957 --> 00:06:25,342 Mm... 167 00:06:25,377 --> 00:06:28,924 Mm... 168 00:06:28,949 --> 00:06:30,222 Time's up. It's a toss. 169 00:06:30,247 --> 00:06:31,747 No, that was actually an award. 170 00:06:31,772 --> 00:06:33,480 - Toss. Next. - Jessica... 171 00:06:35,237 --> 00:06:37,931 Now, okay, look, that hat has a very important memory. 172 00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:40,491 Hey. 173 00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:42,855 I-I'm sorry I'm so bad at doggy-style. 174 00:06:43,418 --> 00:06:45,661 Do you really want to remember Sir Miss-A-Lot? 175 00:06:45,695 --> 00:06:47,996 This is all important stuff from my single life. 176 00:06:48,031 --> 00:06:50,098 I think I need to go through the pile again. 177 00:06:50,133 --> 00:06:52,367 You know what, you're right. Let's go through everything again. 178 00:06:52,402 --> 00:06:53,902 Can you just come with me to the hallway 179 00:06:53,937 --> 00:06:55,904 and take a look at a pile I made out there? 180 00:06:55,939 --> 00:06:57,144 Oh, yeah, okay. 181 00:06:57,457 --> 00:06:59,441 - I just really appreciate it. - Mm-hmm. 182 00:06:59,475 --> 00:07:01,109 I know you got a lot of work to do. 183 00:07:01,144 --> 00:07:02,177 Yeah, so it's... 184 00:07:03,980 --> 00:07:06,281 I have to finish packing so I can work on the binder! 185 00:07:06,316 --> 00:07:08,850 You made me do this! I'm shutting this tiny door! 186 00:07:08,885 --> 00:07:10,855 - Jessica, open the door! - You're a terrible packer! 187 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:12,554 Jessica, open the door! 188 00:07:12,589 --> 00:07:15,557 Your favorite team is the Green Bay... Not Packers. 189 00:07:15,591 --> 00:07:16,959 Let me in, okay? Because, you know, 190 00:07:16,993 --> 00:07:18,293 if I'm out here too long, I'm gonna run into... 191 00:07:18,328 --> 00:07:20,333 Hey, neighbor, you dig turtles? 192 00:07:21,230 --> 00:07:22,297 It's not a big deal. 193 00:07:22,332 --> 00:07:23,665 I've been flashed by, like, 194 00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:25,701 seven or eight different people since college. 195 00:07:25,735 --> 00:07:27,169 - What? - You guys have been flashed? 196 00:07:27,203 --> 00:07:28,103 - No. - Never. 197 00:07:28,137 --> 00:07:29,571 Everybody's been flashed 198 00:07:29,606 --> 00:07:32,074 - countless times, right? - No. 199 00:07:32,108 --> 00:07:35,477 Oh, it's just me who's been flashed about 300 times? 200 00:07:35,511 --> 00:07:38,416 - What? - You guys have never been flashed? 201 00:07:38,441 --> 00:07:39,877 - No. - Never. 202 00:07:39,902 --> 00:07:41,683 Not even on, like, holidays? 203 00:07:41,718 --> 00:07:42,684 No! 204 00:07:42,719 --> 00:07:44,052 Not even, like, after the Olympics? 205 00:07:44,519 --> 00:07:46,502 Hey, guys, I still can't find the bathroom. 206 00:07:46,527 --> 00:07:47,623 Where did you guys say it was again? 207 00:07:47,657 --> 00:07:48,957 This place is like a maze. 208 00:07:48,992 --> 00:07:51,660 Dunston, it's... it's one big room, buddy. 209 00:07:52,433 --> 00:07:54,196 Never mind. I don't have to go anymore. 210 00:07:54,230 --> 00:07:55,764 No, no, no, no, you're fine, you're fine. 211 00:07:55,798 --> 00:07:57,966 You've had, like, two tubs of soda. You-you need to go. 212 00:07:58,001 --> 00:07:59,067 Yeah, I do have to go. 213 00:07:59,102 --> 00:08:00,269 It's right back there to the left. 214 00:08:00,303 --> 00:08:01,336 - Okay. - Yeah, right past 215 00:08:01,371 --> 00:08:02,271 the pop... 216 00:08:02,887 --> 00:08:04,606 Someone call about a flasher? 217 00:08:04,641 --> 00:08:06,074 Oh. 218 00:08:06,109 --> 00:08:07,175 Just responding 219 00:08:07,210 --> 00:08:08,343 to a call about a flasher. 220 00:08:08,378 --> 00:08:10,312 Oh, yes. Uh, there is no need. 221 00:08:10,346 --> 00:08:12,114 Dunston and I have got this, so... 222 00:08:12,148 --> 00:08:13,715 Oh, how is Dunston? 223 00:08:13,750 --> 00:08:16,919 - Huh? I hear he's blind and weird. - No. No, he's great. 224 00:08:16,953 --> 00:08:19,838 - Ah. - Dunston gets it done... ston. 225 00:08:19,863 --> 00:08:22,090 And that's how we win... ston! 226 00:08:22,125 --> 00:08:23,258 Oh. 227 00:08:23,293 --> 00:08:24,926 - How are you? - Really good. 228 00:08:24,961 --> 00:08:27,002 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, Hutch is one hell of a cop. 229 00:08:27,027 --> 00:08:27,896 I'm very strong. 230 00:08:27,931 --> 00:08:29,231 Punch my stomach. Try. 231 00:08:29,265 --> 00:08:30,465 - I mean, I will. - It won't hurt. 232 00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:31,767 - Okay. - It won't hurt. 233 00:08:32,802 --> 00:08:33,936 - God. - Mm-hmm. 234 00:08:33,970 --> 00:08:35,103 That's amazing. 235 00:08:35,138 --> 00:08:36,538 - Dunston. Bathroom. - Yeah? 236 00:08:36,572 --> 00:08:37,597 Oh, that's right. 237 00:08:37,941 --> 00:08:39,474 - Dunston? - Ah. 238 00:08:40,121 --> 00:08:42,477 - Dunston? - No, I know. 239 00:08:42,512 --> 00:08:44,279 You're in good hands. 240 00:08:44,314 --> 00:08:46,281 - I hope you're happy, too. - Great! 241 00:08:46,316 --> 00:08:47,683 - Great! - Great. 242 00:08:47,717 --> 00:08:48,784 Great! 243 00:08:50,441 --> 00:08:52,369 Somebody call the G8 Summit 244 00:08:52,394 --> 00:08:54,122 because I just felt the climate change. 245 00:08:54,157 --> 00:08:55,157 I don't get that. 246 00:08:55,191 --> 00:08:57,125 Hmm. Excuse me. 247 00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,127 You know where the bathroom is? 248 00:08:59,629 --> 00:09:01,308 - It's not back here. - Right. 249 00:09:02,098 --> 00:09:04,066 If you throw out one more thing, 250 00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:06,721 I am gonna hurl my body against the door! 251 00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:08,637 Okay, fine, I am gonna do it. 252 00:09:08,671 --> 00:09:10,591 I hope I don't hurt myself! 253 00:09:12,108 --> 00:09:14,786 Ow! 254 00:09:14,811 --> 00:09:16,245 You think I don't know those were hands? 255 00:09:16,279 --> 00:09:17,579 - That was a slap sound! - Yeah. 256 00:09:17,614 --> 00:09:19,314 Okay, you're right, it's a slapping sound, 257 00:09:19,349 --> 00:09:22,784 but I-I think I overdid it and I really hurt my wrist. 258 00:09:22,819 --> 00:09:24,686 It's, like, swelling. 259 00:09:24,721 --> 00:09:26,722 I'm telling the truth, okay? It really hurts. 260 00:09:26,756 --> 00:09:28,790 Just, can you please open the door? 261 00:09:28,825 --> 00:09:30,359 And now my wrists are fine! 262 00:09:30,393 --> 00:09:32,191 You snake! You rattlesnake! 263 00:09:34,731 --> 00:09:37,330 - Oh, my God, everything's gone. - Look, Cece, 264 00:09:37,355 --> 00:09:39,134 I know you're freaking out about leaving the apartment, 265 00:09:39,168 --> 00:09:40,802 but if you think of it like... 266 00:09:40,837 --> 00:09:43,354 No. It's just, it's not just the apartment. 267 00:09:43,379 --> 00:09:45,474 It's just... it's... it's all of it. 268 00:09:45,768 --> 00:09:47,369 Everything is changing! 269 00:09:47,394 --> 00:09:48,777 I'm not gonna have this place anymore, 270 00:09:48,811 --> 00:09:50,583 and I'm getting married. 271 00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:55,217 Oh, my God, Jess, I'm getting married. 272 00:09:55,251 --> 00:09:56,544 Are you having second thoughts? 273 00:09:56,567 --> 00:09:57,519 No, no. I... I know I want 274 00:09:57,544 --> 00:09:59,238 to marry Schmidt more than anything in the world. 275 00:09:59,263 --> 00:10:00,246 It's just... 276 00:10:00,949 --> 00:10:03,768 everything is gonna change, and I am scared. 277 00:10:03,793 --> 00:10:05,260 Oh, honey. 278 00:10:05,295 --> 00:10:07,896 Oh, my little breakfast link. 279 00:10:08,527 --> 00:10:10,098 Okay, now, look, we don't have time for this. 280 00:10:10,133 --> 00:10:12,000 Okay, you have to work on your binder. 281 00:10:15,832 --> 00:10:17,205 Forget the binder. 282 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,854 Right now this is more important. 283 00:10:20,019 --> 00:10:21,980 - So you know what we're gonna do? - What? 284 00:10:23,058 --> 00:10:24,330 We're gonna get 285 00:10:24,355 --> 00:10:25,647 into it! 286 00:10:25,682 --> 00:10:28,644 - I'm gonna take my pants off! - What? Why? 287 00:10:31,418 --> 00:10:33,152 - So, Nick, can you describe the suspect? - Mr. Miller, can you describe the suspect? 288 00:10:33,738 --> 00:10:34,905 Uh, are you doing the interview, or...? 289 00:10:34,939 --> 00:10:36,073 Oh, yeah, I'm usually the interview guy. 290 00:10:36,107 --> 00:10:37,774 - Oh, that's okay. - No, you can take it. 291 00:10:37,809 --> 00:10:39,072 I'll take it, dude, if it's not a big deal. 292 00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:40,077 Hey, well, it can be either... 293 00:10:40,111 --> 00:10:42,312 No, I'm used to it, too, but you're used to it, so it's not a big deal for me. 294 00:10:42,347 --> 00:10:43,636 Well, I mean, I'm used to it, but I'm open to new things. 295 00:10:43,661 --> 00:10:45,048 Okay, yeah, but to the count of three. 296 00:10:45,083 --> 00:10:46,149 - Just-just-just please... - We're just gonna do it. 297 00:10:46,184 --> 00:10:46,964 One, two, three. 298 00:10:46,989 --> 00:10:48,418 - You do it. - I can... I'm gonna go. 299 00:10:48,453 --> 00:10:51,885 He was average size, thin, wispy blond hair. 300 00:10:51,910 --> 00:10:53,523 Oddly shaped, kind of came to a point. 301 00:10:53,558 --> 00:10:55,158 - Uh, what does that mean? - Top heavy. 302 00:10:55,193 --> 00:10:57,794 A bit of a scar as if like from a hook or something. 303 00:10:57,829 --> 00:11:00,197 Gross. Ugh. Uh, anything else? 304 00:11:00,231 --> 00:11:01,665 I think that about does it. You want me to describe 305 00:11:01,699 --> 00:11:02,866 what his face and body looked like? 306 00:11:02,900 --> 00:11:04,434 Yeah, that'd be... Wait. 307 00:11:04,469 --> 00:11:06,503 Have you been describing his penis this whole time? 308 00:11:06,537 --> 00:11:07,503 All right, that's it. I'm done. 309 00:11:07,528 --> 00:11:09,006 I'm not even the one that called you guys. 310 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:10,191 Man! 311 00:11:10,215 --> 00:11:10,846 And to be fair, 312 00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:12,952 I knew he was talking about a penis the whole time. 313 00:11:12,976 --> 00:11:13,846 See? 314 00:11:13,847 --> 00:11:15,291 That is way too real! 315 00:11:15,316 --> 00:11:16,813 Aggressively detailed. 316 00:11:16,848 --> 00:11:18,248 I had to guess on the testicles, 317 00:11:18,282 --> 00:11:19,516 'cause he hadn't described 'em. 318 00:11:22,387 --> 00:11:25,722 You know what it is? It's just that there's no turning back. 319 00:11:25,757 --> 00:11:27,991 I mean, who am I when I leave this apartment? 320 00:11:28,026 --> 00:11:29,824 "Mrs. Cece Schmidt?" 321 00:11:29,849 --> 00:11:33,830 "Cece Schmidt" sounds like the mayor of an evil Swiss town. 322 00:11:33,865 --> 00:11:35,701 It does. 323 00:11:35,726 --> 00:11:36,500 Oh, my God. 324 00:11:36,534 --> 00:11:37,934 Did I tell you that Schmidt thinks 325 00:11:37,969 --> 00:11:39,803 that we should drop our last names 326 00:11:39,837 --> 00:11:41,238 and make up a new one? 327 00:11:41,272 --> 00:11:43,140 He is currently, at the moment, 328 00:11:43,174 --> 00:11:46,410 leaning towards Zenith and Telluride. 329 00:11:46,444 --> 00:11:48,812 I don't hate Telluride. 330 00:11:48,846 --> 00:11:50,981 Getting married is just such a big leap. 331 00:11:51,015 --> 00:11:52,983 You leap big all the time! 332 00:11:53,017 --> 00:11:55,819 You moved here at 18 with nothing but a bunch of chokers. 333 00:11:55,853 --> 00:11:57,587 Isn't it amazing?! 334 00:11:57,622 --> 00:11:58,922 And it's mine. 335 00:11:58,956 --> 00:12:01,658 Yeah, there's also a knife stuck in the wall. 336 00:12:01,693 --> 00:12:02,507 Oh, look! 337 00:12:02,532 --> 00:12:03,624 Someone left a spoon 338 00:12:03,649 --> 00:12:04,617 with some rock candy in it. 339 00:12:04,642 --> 00:12:05,876 I wonder what flavor it is. 340 00:12:06,585 --> 00:12:08,365 This is a way bigger leap. 341 00:12:08,399 --> 00:12:11,601 Ugh! Becky! You sloppy boob lizard! 342 00:12:11,636 --> 00:12:14,006 Principal Cavatappi! 343 00:12:14,031 --> 00:12:16,820 Oh, yeah, the binder. Yup, I've got it right... 344 00:12:18,882 --> 00:12:19,810 ...here. 345 00:12:19,844 --> 00:12:21,445 Where's the binder? 346 00:12:21,479 --> 00:12:22,913 Um, yeah, uh, sorry. Uh... 347 00:12:22,947 --> 00:12:24,681 Um, yeah, I've got it right here. 348 00:12:24,716 --> 00:12:26,383 Find it. Find it. 349 00:12:26,417 --> 00:12:27,784 You packed it somewhere?! 350 00:12:27,819 --> 00:12:30,354 - Yeah, I can turn to page 13. Hold on. - Oh. Chuka. 351 00:12:30,388 --> 00:12:31,855 Chuka, chuka, chuka. 352 00:12:31,889 --> 00:12:33,090 - Chuka. - What is that? 353 00:12:33,124 --> 00:12:34,224 That was a page-turning noise. 354 00:12:34,258 --> 00:12:36,359 - Chuka, chuka... - Um, yup, I see the graph. 355 00:12:36,394 --> 00:12:40,263 Chuk, chuka, chuk, chuk! 356 00:12:40,298 --> 00:12:41,798 Jess? 357 00:12:41,833 --> 00:12:43,366 Do you remember Rosarito?! 358 00:12:45,324 --> 00:12:47,792 We don't have much to go on, but I'll run your description. 359 00:12:47,905 --> 00:12:49,117 Hopefully, Dunston wouldn't have 360 00:12:49,142 --> 00:12:51,441 spilled coffee all over the radio. 361 00:12:51,476 --> 00:12:55,746 You know, he brews his own and drinks it out of a sandwich bag. 362 00:12:57,448 --> 00:12:58,315 Winston, 363 00:12:58,349 --> 00:12:59,649 just call Aly and tell her 364 00:12:59,684 --> 00:13:01,218 that you want to be partners again. 365 00:13:01,252 --> 00:13:03,220 Ugh. Look, guys, I... 366 00:13:03,254 --> 00:13:05,022 I cannot. 367 00:13:05,056 --> 00:13:07,557 I just cannot hear about Aly's boyfriend 368 00:13:07,582 --> 00:13:10,865 and his ass that don't quit, okay? 369 00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:13,063 My ass don't quit! What about my ass?! 370 00:13:13,097 --> 00:13:15,687 - Winston, please call Aly. - Seriously, dude. 371 00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:18,735 - There he is. - Hey, do you have 372 00:13:18,770 --> 00:13:20,137 - any, uh...? - Freeze, buddy! 373 00:13:20,171 --> 00:13:21,905 Oh, yeah, freeze! 374 00:13:21,939 --> 00:13:23,406 Wait! Hey! 375 00:13:23,441 --> 00:13:24,674 - Oh. - Hey, hey, hey! Hey! 376 00:13:26,010 --> 00:13:27,511 Yeah! Got him! 377 00:13:27,545 --> 00:13:29,613 All right! Dunston! 378 00:13:29,647 --> 00:13:31,581 - Oh, yes. - Yeah, man. I'm not normally 379 00:13:31,616 --> 00:13:32,949 - the cuff guy, but I'll do it. - Yeah, me, either. 380 00:13:32,984 --> 00:13:34,484 - But I'll do it. - One size fits all, right? 381 00:13:34,519 --> 00:13:37,263 - Yeah, I guess it's... - Man, I just said, 382 00:13:37,288 --> 00:13:38,989 - I'll be the cuff guy! - I'm not normally the cuff... 383 00:13:39,023 --> 00:13:40,190 But, yeah, but if I'm not normally the... 384 00:13:40,224 --> 00:13:42,259 Then if you're not... but I'm not normally. 385 00:13:42,293 --> 00:13:42,628 Now, I'm doing... 386 00:13:42,653 --> 00:13:43,593 Okay, okay, count of three. Count of three. 387 00:13:43,628 --> 00:13:44,901 - Who is the cuff guy? One. - All right. One. 388 00:13:44,926 --> 00:13:46,407 Two, three, four. 389 00:13:46,432 --> 00:13:47,698 - Five, six. See? - Five. Mm. 390 00:13:48,533 --> 00:13:49,866 - All right. Three. - Three. 391 00:13:49,901 --> 00:13:51,034 Two, one, 392 00:13:51,069 --> 00:13:52,836 - zero, negative one. Damn it! - That...! 393 00:13:52,870 --> 00:13:54,638 Winston, Dunston! Dunston! 394 00:13:54,672 --> 00:13:55,472 Go! Hey! 395 00:13:59,885 --> 00:14:01,400 I got to say... 396 00:14:01,807 --> 00:14:04,057 he never comes in twice in a night. 397 00:14:04,190 --> 00:14:05,549 I just hope he's okay. 398 00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:08,452 I'm alarmed by how connected to this man you feel. 399 00:14:08,477 --> 00:14:10,260 I just hope the best for him. 400 00:14:12,156 --> 00:14:14,446 I am so dead. 401 00:14:14,471 --> 00:14:15,725 If I don't find this binder, I'm gonna 402 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:18,175 need a really good excuse. Oh, wait, Cece? 403 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:18,483 Mm. 404 00:14:18,508 --> 00:14:19,731 Can you break my arm just a little bit? 405 00:14:19,764 --> 00:14:20,322 No! 406 00:14:20,347 --> 00:14:21,994 You're right. It's better if I do it myself. 407 00:14:22,019 --> 00:14:23,233 Okay, you know what? Hey! 408 00:14:23,267 --> 00:14:25,702 Hey, can I just throw something out there? 409 00:14:25,737 --> 00:14:27,237 What if you quit? 410 00:14:27,271 --> 00:14:28,538 I want to quit. 411 00:14:28,573 --> 00:14:31,008 God, do I want to quit, but I can't! I can't! 412 00:14:31,042 --> 00:14:36,065 You can quit. Because this Becky lady is making you miserable. 413 00:14:36,369 --> 00:14:38,749 You were always someone who loved their job. 414 00:14:39,096 --> 00:14:41,685 ♪ It's my first day of teaching in L.A. ♪ 415 00:14:41,719 --> 00:14:43,153 ♪ And I'm giving my job ♪ 416 00:14:43,187 --> 00:14:47,524 ♪ A big fat "A..." ♪ 417 00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:51,461 You remember the last time I was unemployed? 418 00:14:51,486 --> 00:14:53,424 I ran out of things to knit. 419 00:14:53,596 --> 00:14:56,400 - I knit a condom. - Oh, the yarn-dom. 420 00:14:56,434 --> 00:14:58,735 - I pray this was never used. - Okay, remember earlier 421 00:14:58,770 --> 00:15:00,690 when you told me to leap? 422 00:15:00,908 --> 00:15:02,239 You should leap. 423 00:15:02,666 --> 00:15:03,852 I don't leap. 424 00:15:03,877 --> 00:15:06,910 I take small planned steps, like an arthritic dog. 425 00:15:11,923 --> 00:15:13,223 Really? 426 00:15:16,654 --> 00:15:19,305 The last listing is a loft downtown. 427 00:15:19,330 --> 00:15:20,501 Bad area. 428 00:15:20,526 --> 00:15:23,560 The ad just says it's "sunsoaked and beige-y." 429 00:15:23,594 --> 00:15:26,440 I don't know. They seem like three nice girls. 430 00:15:31,752 --> 00:15:34,504 And now I am marrying one of those girls 431 00:15:34,539 --> 00:15:36,440 and totally freaking out about it. 432 00:15:36,474 --> 00:15:37,741 You know who you need to talk to, right? 433 00:15:37,775 --> 00:15:40,210 - Yes. Definitely. Winston. - No. 434 00:15:40,244 --> 00:15:41,545 - What the hell? - What? 435 00:15:41,579 --> 00:15:43,213 I'm gone for two months, and all of a sudden 436 00:15:43,247 --> 00:15:45,657 Winston's a bridesmaid? Never mind. 437 00:15:45,682 --> 00:15:47,050 - You need to call Schmidt. - No. 438 00:15:47,084 --> 00:15:49,686 No, I can't call him and tell him that I'm scared. 439 00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:53,056 I think that that's what getting married is. 440 00:15:54,192 --> 00:15:55,986 Sharing all this, 441 00:15:56,494 --> 00:15:57,928 all the things you're afraid of, 442 00:15:57,962 --> 00:16:00,297 all the things that embarrass you, 443 00:16:00,331 --> 00:16:02,236 weak doggy-style guy. 444 00:16:05,580 --> 00:16:06,670 You got to call Schmidt. 445 00:16:07,799 --> 00:16:09,252 All right. 446 00:16:10,174 --> 00:16:12,774 A voice call, Jess? 447 00:16:12,799 --> 00:16:15,445 Let me guess, a family of ducks is crossing the street. 448 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:18,165 No, no, no, no, no, no. It's me. It's me. Um, so... 449 00:16:18,190 --> 00:16:19,182 okay, um, 450 00:16:19,217 --> 00:16:22,185 I love you but I am freaking out about getting married. 451 00:16:22,220 --> 00:16:24,020 Cece, what? What's-what's going on? What's happening? 452 00:16:24,055 --> 00:16:26,690 Well, I just... I don't... I don't... 453 00:16:26,724 --> 00:16:28,024 Oh, no. Um, 454 00:16:28,059 --> 00:16:29,659 Jess, it's Becky. It's Becky. 455 00:16:29,694 --> 00:16:31,294 What-what-what do you want me to do? 456 00:16:31,329 --> 00:16:33,130 - What do I do? What do I do? - Don't answer it. Don't answer it. 457 00:16:33,164 --> 00:16:36,165 What? Who's Becky? What's a Becky? What's happening? 458 00:16:38,036 --> 00:16:39,136 Don't answer it. 459 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:41,171 Do not answer it. 460 00:16:41,205 --> 00:16:42,372 I'm gonna answer it. 461 00:16:42,407 --> 00:16:43,106 What? 462 00:16:43,141 --> 00:16:45,108 Hello! Hi. Uh, yeah, 463 00:16:45,143 --> 00:16:47,277 so, this is Cece Parikh, and you are treating my friend 464 00:16:47,311 --> 00:16:49,012 very badly. 465 00:16:49,046 --> 00:16:50,714 What? Put Jess on. 466 00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:54,251 No, no, no, no. You are done using my friend, okay? 467 00:16:54,285 --> 00:16:56,453 So she... quits. 468 00:16:56,487 --> 00:16:57,120 I what? 469 00:16:57,155 --> 00:16:58,221 She what? 470 00:16:58,256 --> 00:16:59,122 - I what? - That's right! 471 00:16:59,157 --> 00:17:01,627 Jess quits! 472 00:17:06,009 --> 00:17:07,549 Nailed it! 473 00:17:12,408 --> 00:17:14,682 Oh, my God, the binder. It's under the couch. 474 00:17:21,392 --> 00:17:22,792 No, no, no. We handled it. 475 00:17:22,827 --> 00:17:23,672 It's our perp. 476 00:17:23,697 --> 00:17:25,665 Aly, I want you back. I... 477 00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:27,531 - I-I want you back. - Are you trying 478 00:17:27,565 --> 00:17:30,133 to tell me something or doing a Jackson 5 song? 479 00:17:30,167 --> 00:17:31,668 I miss having you as my partner. 480 00:17:31,702 --> 00:17:34,891 Do you want to tell me why you left? 481 00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:38,296 'Cause you never did. And, honestly, Winston, 482 00:17:38,321 --> 00:17:39,543 that really sucked. 483 00:17:39,577 --> 00:17:41,044 I left because you hurt my feelings 484 00:17:41,078 --> 00:17:43,040 when you kept talking about... 485 00:17:45,557 --> 00:17:47,399 You kept talking about... 486 00:17:50,621 --> 00:17:53,490 ...how much you hate my music. You know? 487 00:17:53,524 --> 00:17:55,659 This is about your Pure Moods CD? 488 00:17:55,693 --> 00:17:58,061 That's it. That's all. It's the only reason why I left. 489 00:17:58,586 --> 00:18:00,997 Okay. I mean, that thing makes me wish I was born 490 00:18:01,032 --> 00:18:03,257 without the ability to hear music, 491 00:18:03,282 --> 00:18:05,821 but if it means that much to you, 492 00:18:06,141 --> 00:18:07,602 I'll listen to it. 493 00:18:09,149 --> 00:18:11,350 I-I-I appreciate that. 494 00:18:11,375 --> 00:18:13,176 Look, you're the only partner I want. 495 00:18:13,641 --> 00:18:15,045 You make me... 496 00:18:16,063 --> 00:18:17,821 laugh and whatever. 497 00:18:17,846 --> 00:18:19,850 I don't know. I suck at compliments. 498 00:18:19,884 --> 00:18:20,550 Yeah. 499 00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:22,438 Partners? 500 00:18:23,790 --> 00:18:25,088 Partners. 501 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,257 Shake it. Don't just hold it. 502 00:18:27,291 --> 00:18:28,859 Yeah. Sorry. 503 00:18:30,261 --> 00:18:31,625 I think that was Dunston. 504 00:18:31,650 --> 00:18:34,397 - How did he not see us? - No idea. 505 00:18:34,422 --> 00:18:36,032 Oh, yeah, he's night-blind. 506 00:18:37,180 --> 00:18:38,368 Dunston! 507 00:18:40,196 --> 00:18:41,905 It's done. Everything you asked for. 508 00:18:41,947 --> 00:18:44,257 And, Principal Cavatappi, I'm very sorry 509 00:18:44,282 --> 00:18:45,442 for what my friend said. I... 510 00:18:45,476 --> 00:18:47,436 Oh, I know. I would never let you quit anyway. 511 00:18:47,461 --> 00:18:48,712 Can you come up with some thoughts on 512 00:18:48,746 --> 00:18:51,766 the science curriculum for the superintendant and sign my name? 513 00:18:53,391 --> 00:18:54,233 Yeah. 514 00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:55,672 Sure. Yes. 515 00:18:58,656 --> 00:19:00,123 You know what? No! 516 00:19:00,157 --> 00:19:01,858 I can't. No. 517 00:19:01,883 --> 00:19:04,165 Nope. Um, because I quit. 518 00:19:05,129 --> 00:19:07,890 I hope you have a minor career setback, 519 00:19:07,915 --> 00:19:10,069 learn from it, relocate, 520 00:19:10,094 --> 00:19:14,930 and ultimately have a very nice life, Becky. 521 00:19:29,579 --> 00:19:30,564 Mmm. 522 00:19:34,149 --> 00:19:35,358 Do I want to know this story? 523 00:19:35,393 --> 00:19:37,475 I hope so, 524 00:19:37,500 --> 00:19:40,883 because we're about to spend the rest of our lives together. 525 00:19:41,149 --> 00:19:42,799 So you're gonna have to hear all my stories. 526 00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:45,435 I want to spend the rest of my life hearing all your stories. 527 00:19:45,469 --> 00:19:47,137 Until, of course, my hearing goes out 528 00:19:47,171 --> 00:19:50,207 and I get tinnitus. Do you know Dave Letterman has tinnitus? 529 00:19:50,241 --> 00:19:51,662 Um... 530 00:19:53,389 --> 00:19:55,567 About-about what I said on the phone... 531 00:19:55,592 --> 00:19:57,180 I'm a little freaked out, too. 532 00:19:57,858 --> 00:19:59,450 - You are? - Yes. 533 00:19:59,475 --> 00:20:01,651 And it has nothing to do with how much I love you. 534 00:20:01,686 --> 00:20:02,662 Exactly. 535 00:20:02,687 --> 00:20:04,855 Or how much I want to get married. 536 00:20:05,826 --> 00:20:06,809 Exactly. 537 00:20:06,834 --> 00:20:08,225 We'll be scared together. 538 00:20:08,259 --> 00:20:11,895 And we'll be really happy together, too. 539 00:20:12,397 --> 00:20:13,964 And we'll be really annoyed together, 540 00:20:13,998 --> 00:20:16,366 knowing that we're living with three other people and a cat. 541 00:20:16,780 --> 00:20:17,901 Also, I think there's another cat. 542 00:20:17,935 --> 00:20:19,970 Winston's being very evasive about it, but... 543 00:20:20,004 --> 00:20:20,920 Mmm. 544 00:20:28,108 --> 00:20:28,979 It's a foster cat. 545 00:20:29,013 --> 00:20:31,047 I think it's helping him get over the whole Aly thing. 546 00:20:31,082 --> 00:20:32,048 I don't care. 547 00:20:32,083 --> 00:20:33,116 Well, I guess this is it. 548 00:20:33,150 --> 00:20:35,285 I thought Jess would be here, but... 549 00:20:35,678 --> 00:20:38,622 - you know, okay, end of an era. - Yeah. 550 00:20:38,656 --> 00:20:40,156 Have you ever been here before? 551 00:20:40,191 --> 00:20:42,756 This is maybe my second time. 552 00:20:43,756 --> 00:20:45,919 I nursed my pippy back to health here. 553 00:20:45,944 --> 00:20:47,998 Yeah. I remember. 554 00:20:48,032 --> 00:20:50,000 All right. I'm gonna give you a minute. 555 00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:51,342 Okay. 556 00:21:00,467 --> 00:21:02,600 Cece, Cece, Cece. 557 00:21:05,405 --> 00:21:07,030 Do you want to do the honors or should I? 558 00:21:07,055 --> 00:21:09,826 Hmm... Go for it. 559 00:21:14,091 --> 00:21:15,934 Okay. One, two, three. 560 00:21:15,959 --> 00:21:17,723 We did it! 561 00:21:17,748 --> 00:21:19,059 Oh, my God, there's hair on the end! 562 00:21:19,084 --> 00:21:20,697 Put it back! Put it back! 563 00:21:35,146 --> 00:21:36,614 Do you speak Russian? 564 00:21:36,639 --> 00:21:37,847 Nope.