1 00:00:01,217 --> 00:00:03,013 I need your advice on these wedding invites. 2 00:00:03,545 --> 00:00:04,944 I like calligraphy option number two; 3 00:00:04,980 --> 00:00:06,520 it looks like a Bone Thugs album. 4 00:00:06,545 --> 00:00:08,848 This looks like an ad for a bong company. 5 00:00:09,162 --> 00:00:10,237 I like option one better. 6 00:00:10,256 --> 00:00:11,189 You know what would be nice? 7 00:00:11,257 --> 00:00:12,457 A wedding invitation 8 00:00:12,525 --> 00:00:13,792 engraved on a plate. 9 00:00:17,363 --> 00:00:18,363 What a magical wedding that would be. 10 00:00:18,431 --> 00:00:19,497 You two are imbeciles. 11 00:00:19,565 --> 00:00:21,332 Anybody with taste and sophistication 12 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:23,902 would always choose option number two. 13 00:00:23,969 --> 00:00:25,270 Are you okay? 14 00:00:25,337 --> 00:00:26,138 You look gray. 15 00:00:26,163 --> 00:00:27,029 I didn't sleep. 16 00:00:27,054 --> 00:00:29,550 I was up preparing for an epic day of wedding decisions. 17 00:00:29,575 --> 00:00:30,508 I'm calling it D-Day. 18 00:00:30,576 --> 00:00:31,732 Of course, in this situation, 19 00:00:31,757 --> 00:00:33,888 the "D" stands for "decisions," 20 00:00:33,913 --> 00:00:35,513 and unlike the other D-Day, 21 00:00:35,581 --> 00:00:37,148 it will not be a walk on the beach. 22 00:00:37,216 --> 00:00:38,349 That's incredibly offensive. 23 00:00:38,417 --> 00:00:39,350 I know. 24 00:00:40,419 --> 00:00:41,185 Do you guys remember 25 00:00:41,232 --> 00:00:43,472 that audition I had for gas station TV? 26 00:00:43,497 --> 00:00:44,322 Well, 27 00:00:44,390 --> 00:00:46,624 the girl they hired went missing 28 00:00:46,692 --> 00:00:49,194 - and they need me to fill in! - Yeah! - What? 29 00:00:49,261 --> 00:00:50,871 - Oh! - Oh, my God, we're gonna be friends 30 00:00:50,896 --> 00:00:52,163 with a gas celebrity! 31 00:00:52,231 --> 00:00:53,164 That's right! 32 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:54,966 But it is today, 33 00:00:55,034 --> 00:00:57,202 and I know you need my help with the wedding stuff... 34 00:00:57,269 --> 00:00:58,870 Cece, what are you talking about? Are you crazy? 35 00:00:58,938 --> 00:01:00,004 You have to go to this. 36 00:01:00,072 --> 00:01:01,005 I can do it all by my... 37 00:01:01,073 --> 00:01:02,107 by myself. 38 00:01:04,946 --> 00:01:05,879 Are you okay? 39 00:01:08,857 --> 00:01:11,560 Wow, your mouth has been open forever. 40 00:01:12,551 --> 00:01:14,319 Okay, this is crazy. I'm just gonna stay home. 41 00:01:14,386 --> 00:01:16,087 - No, Cece, you have to go, please. - It's... it's... 42 00:01:16,155 --> 00:01:17,355 - Okay. - I'll be fine. I'll be fine. 43 00:01:17,423 --> 00:01:18,918 I can help with wedding stuff. 44 00:01:18,943 --> 00:01:20,630 Just lighten the load a little bit. 45 00:01:20,904 --> 00:01:21,652 Sometimes I think 46 00:01:21,677 --> 00:01:23,328 I was bred in a lab to help people. 47 00:01:23,395 --> 00:01:24,829 You know what else they bred in the lab? 48 00:01:25,427 --> 00:01:26,444 Pugs. 49 00:01:27,266 --> 00:01:28,967 Thank you, Jess. That would be great. 50 00:01:29,034 --> 00:01:30,235 Uh, no, Cece. 51 00:01:30,302 --> 00:01:31,536 I don't have time to bring her up to speed. 52 00:01:31,604 --> 00:01:33,171 Throwing her into the fray now 53 00:01:33,239 --> 00:01:34,739 would be like putting a baby on a treadmill. 54 00:01:34,807 --> 00:01:36,241 She would... just shoot off. 55 00:01:36,308 --> 00:01:38,042 Baby, you're just being protective of the wedding, okay? 56 00:01:38,110 --> 00:01:39,477 Jess is just gonna help. 57 00:01:39,545 --> 00:01:41,146 She's not gonna take over. 58 00:01:42,082 --> 00:01:43,449 Mmm... 59 00:01:43,474 --> 00:01:44,382 Jess... 60 00:01:45,115 --> 00:01:46,718 Mmm... 61 00:01:46,785 --> 00:01:48,918 mm... mm... mmm. 62 00:01:48,943 --> 00:01:50,129 What's happening here? 63 00:01:50,154 --> 00:01:50,889 Fine. 64 00:01:50,956 --> 00:01:51,925 Who's excited? 65 00:01:51,950 --> 00:01:52,690 There we go. 66 00:01:52,758 --> 00:01:54,691 Ooh, FYI, you may have to wrestle 67 00:01:54,716 --> 00:01:56,227 a rectal nutrient into him. 68 00:01:56,295 --> 00:01:57,896 - Wait, what? - You're right. Not your job. 69 00:01:57,963 --> 00:01:59,240 I've done it before. 70 00:02:00,005 --> 00:02:01,199 I mean, I didn't like it, but... 71 00:02:01,985 --> 00:02:02,918 I did it. 72 00:02:03,435 --> 00:02:04,536 Am I proud of it? No. 73 00:02:04,603 --> 00:02:05,670 Did I do it? Yes. 74 00:02:05,738 --> 00:02:07,572 Have I done it again since? No. 75 00:02:12,060 --> 00:02:14,816 There's tons to do today, so we're going to have to split up. 76 00:02:14,841 --> 00:02:16,449 I have to be here for a tux fitting 77 00:02:16,474 --> 00:02:18,375 and a meeting with a napkin ring genius. 78 00:02:18,443 --> 00:02:19,476 Gonna be fine. 79 00:02:19,544 --> 00:02:21,411 There's chairs to be picked and... 80 00:02:24,082 --> 00:02:26,016 ...cakes to be tasted. 81 00:02:28,222 --> 00:02:29,323 Schmidt? Are you asleep? 82 00:02:29,927 --> 00:02:30,851 What?! 83 00:02:31,091 --> 00:02:33,246 No, I'm not sleeping, of course I'm not sleeping! 84 00:02:33,271 --> 00:02:35,792 Just tons... too much to do today to sleep. 85 00:02:36,411 --> 00:02:37,466 Jess... 86 00:02:37,716 --> 00:02:39,672 this is the most important thing that I own. 87 00:02:39,872 --> 00:02:41,372 It is the wedding flash drive. 88 00:02:41,450 --> 00:02:43,033 Everything that you need to know is on this. 89 00:02:43,101 --> 00:02:44,034 It's color-coded. 90 00:02:44,102 --> 00:02:45,615 Ooh, color-coded. Gimme. 91 00:02:46,881 --> 00:02:47,919 Please do not reach for it 92 00:02:47,944 --> 00:02:50,254 like you're Winston reaching for someone's breast. 93 00:02:50,279 --> 00:02:51,599 Treat it with respect. 94 00:02:51,624 --> 00:02:53,686 I will, and I just want to say 95 00:02:53,754 --> 00:02:55,422 I'm honored you're trusting me. 96 00:02:55,489 --> 00:02:56,523 Oh, I'm not. 97 00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:58,691 Everything I see is terrible. 98 00:02:58,716 --> 00:02:59,911 Pan left. 99 00:03:00,396 --> 00:03:01,761 This one's nice. 100 00:03:01,836 --> 00:03:03,583 Comfortable, but not too comfortable. 101 00:03:03,608 --> 00:03:05,575 - We want people to dance. - Folding chairs? 102 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:08,418 Jess, if I wanted my wedding to be an AA meeting, 103 00:03:08,443 --> 00:03:09,800 I would've called my Aunt Terry. 104 00:03:09,825 --> 00:03:11,982 I don't think you want to marry this guy. 105 00:03:12,122 --> 00:03:13,139 Who is that? 106 00:03:19,090 --> 00:03:20,316 Oh, finally. 107 00:03:20,341 --> 00:03:21,147 Winston, 108 00:03:21,215 --> 00:03:22,315 where have you been? 109 00:03:22,383 --> 00:03:23,416 I've been waiting an hour. 110 00:03:23,484 --> 00:03:25,318 Work was crazy, okay? 111 00:03:25,386 --> 00:03:26,786 I busted a poker room, 112 00:03:26,854 --> 00:03:28,824 which was a front for a crack house, 113 00:03:28,849 --> 00:03:31,098 which was a front for a brothel. 114 00:03:31,213 --> 00:03:32,348 It was a crime turducken. 115 00:03:32,373 --> 00:03:34,699 This is the third time you've stood me up. 116 00:03:34,724 --> 00:03:36,696 Meat lunch is our oldest and proudest tradition. 117 00:03:37,185 --> 00:03:39,512 Let's do this every year for the rest of our lives. 118 00:03:39,537 --> 00:03:41,201 I'm gonna be a lawyer. 119 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:42,598 Let's eat. 120 00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:44,662 I can't. I had an hour, I gotta go back to work. 121 00:03:44,904 --> 00:03:45,839 I mean... 122 00:03:45,906 --> 00:03:47,692 You know, it's a... it's a bar 123 00:03:47,717 --> 00:03:49,542 in the middle of the day. Like, who's there? 124 00:03:49,610 --> 00:03:51,211 Why are they there? Why do you need to be there? 125 00:03:51,278 --> 00:03:52,745 'Cause it's my job. 126 00:03:52,813 --> 00:03:53,847 It runs itself. 127 00:03:53,914 --> 00:03:55,348 It's basically a big-ass fridge. 128 00:03:55,416 --> 00:03:56,749 I'm a bartender and owner. 129 00:03:56,817 --> 00:03:58,318 You know how many balls I have to juggle now? 130 00:03:58,385 --> 00:03:59,752 Man, those are baby balls. 131 00:03:59,820 --> 00:04:01,154 - Hmm. - I'm a cop. 132 00:04:01,222 --> 00:04:03,690 I spend my day working the city's balls. 133 00:04:03,757 --> 00:04:05,458 - Listen to yourself. - Those balls are big. 134 00:04:05,526 --> 00:04:06,659 Listen to yourself. 135 00:04:06,727 --> 00:04:08,294 I'm listening to myself, Nick. 136 00:04:08,362 --> 00:04:10,163 Your balls, in comparison to my balls, 137 00:04:10,231 --> 00:04:12,031 that you have to deal with, that I have to handle... 138 00:04:12,099 --> 00:04:15,168 If you think your job is so much harder than my job, 139 00:04:15,236 --> 00:04:18,059 then why don't you come see for yourself? 140 00:04:18,084 --> 00:04:19,205 Unless, of course, you're scared. 141 00:04:19,273 --> 00:04:20,306 - Scared? - Scared. 142 00:04:20,374 --> 00:04:21,207 I'm a cop. 143 00:04:21,275 --> 00:04:22,909 I run a bar. 144 00:04:24,912 --> 00:04:26,746 Welcome to the nerve center. 145 00:04:26,814 --> 00:04:29,145 Over here, you've got accounts payable... 146 00:04:29,170 --> 00:04:30,832 bills, to the layperson... 147 00:04:30,857 --> 00:04:32,819 and over here is the schedule. 148 00:04:32,887 --> 00:04:34,606 It's a numbers game, really. 149 00:04:34,631 --> 00:04:36,222 Who works when and why, 150 00:04:36,290 --> 00:04:37,891 square pegs, round holes, 151 00:04:37,958 --> 00:04:39,225 every man is a mystery... 152 00:04:39,293 --> 00:04:40,360 That's great, Nick. 153 00:04:40,427 --> 00:04:41,728 Um, I'm a cop. 154 00:04:42,963 --> 00:04:45,043 Come in! 155 00:04:45,068 --> 00:04:47,267 Hey, Nick, what's the schedule for the weekend? 156 00:04:47,334 --> 00:04:48,434 Oh, great, everybody's here. 157 00:04:48,502 --> 00:04:49,936 Why don't you ask my friend Winston? 158 00:04:50,004 --> 00:04:51,685 He'll be handling all questions. 159 00:04:52,006 --> 00:04:53,445 Yeah, that's easy. 160 00:04:54,675 --> 00:04:55,942 All right. 161 00:04:56,010 --> 00:04:56,943 I'm ready to taste cakes. 162 00:04:57,011 --> 00:04:58,111 Okay, great. 163 00:04:58,178 --> 00:04:59,946 - This is gonna be fun. - I'm sorry, fun? 164 00:05:00,014 --> 00:05:01,915 Baking scones with Winston is fun. 165 00:05:01,940 --> 00:05:03,535 This is serious, Jess. 166 00:05:03,731 --> 00:05:04,688 Mmm! 167 00:05:05,224 --> 00:05:05,885 Soft and sweet. 168 00:05:05,953 --> 00:05:08,335 What a relief it's not hard and salty. 169 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:09,293 How is the nose? 170 00:05:09,318 --> 00:05:10,482 Does it have a clean finish, 171 00:05:10,507 --> 00:05:12,067 or would you say it's a long cake? 172 00:05:12,092 --> 00:05:14,131 Describe the cake's legs in terms of mouth feel. 173 00:05:14,156 --> 00:05:16,496 Bro, I spent two hours at the chair place. 174 00:05:16,521 --> 00:05:18,035 You picked nothing. 175 00:05:18,060 --> 00:05:19,265 You negotiated with the florist 176 00:05:19,333 --> 00:05:20,800 until all three of us were crying. 177 00:05:20,868 --> 00:05:24,070 Let's start again and put the camera close to the frosting. 178 00:05:24,138 --> 00:05:25,895 And for God's sakes, please, 179 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:27,895 be mindful of your friggin' shadow. 180 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:30,295 No. I'm stopping this. 181 00:05:30,432 --> 00:05:31,699 You're stop... you're stopping what? 182 00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:32,746 J-Jess? 183 00:05:32,771 --> 00:05:33,810 What are... what are you doing? 184 00:05:33,835 --> 00:05:35,281 Why am I looking at a fountain now? 185 00:05:35,349 --> 00:05:36,282 What... 186 00:05:36,568 --> 00:05:38,302 What a relaxing water feature. 187 00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:47,560 Are they playing Christina there? 188 00:06:06,554 --> 00:06:08,289 Hey, gal pal, how is it going? 189 00:06:08,377 --> 00:06:10,045 Great! It's exactly like modeling, 190 00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:11,946 except for it's less cold and I get to talk. 191 00:06:12,275 --> 00:06:13,542 How's Schmidt? 192 00:06:13,567 --> 00:06:15,381 He's not stress-eating paper towels again, is he? 193 00:06:15,406 --> 00:06:16,472 No, everything's fine. 194 00:06:16,497 --> 00:06:17,164 I'm supposed to see 195 00:06:17,189 --> 00:06:18,189 a beverage guy, 196 00:06:18,214 --> 00:06:19,621 but I can't find his address. 197 00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:21,854 Seriously? I can come back and help. 198 00:06:21,879 --> 00:06:22,656 - No! - It's fine. 199 00:06:22,681 --> 00:06:23,273 It's just... 200 00:06:23,298 --> 00:06:24,702 Schmidt has this color-coded system, 201 00:06:24,727 --> 00:06:26,327 and I can't figure out which one. 202 00:06:26,395 --> 00:06:27,562 Do you know which one beverages would be? 203 00:06:27,629 --> 00:06:30,171 I don't know. Blue? 204 00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:31,733 You're a genius. I found it. 205 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:33,067 Okay, I gotta go learn Spanish. 206 00:06:33,135 --> 00:06:34,902 I told him that I know it. 207 00:06:35,671 --> 00:06:36,237 Oh. 208 00:06:36,305 --> 00:06:37,290 Good luck. 209 00:06:38,688 --> 00:06:40,675 Gavin, wine sales, Calabasas. 210 00:06:47,335 --> 00:06:48,680 I didn't do it! 211 00:06:49,397 --> 00:06:50,132 I'm lying. 212 00:06:50,170 --> 00:06:51,404 I obviously did it. 213 00:06:51,472 --> 00:06:52,605 Don't worry. 214 00:06:52,673 --> 00:06:54,805 We just put those there for people to break. 215 00:06:55,576 --> 00:06:57,944 - Really? - No, they were very expensive. 216 00:06:58,011 --> 00:06:59,312 But I own the place, 217 00:06:59,379 --> 00:07:00,880 so why don't we say this one broke, too? 218 00:07:02,300 --> 00:07:03,267 I'm Gavin. 219 00:07:03,484 --> 00:07:04,578 Let's try this one. 220 00:07:04,603 --> 00:07:06,125 Tempting, but my friends are getting married. 221 00:07:06,150 --> 00:07:07,687 I'm kind of on a deadline. 222 00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:11,297 And also I prefer my wine sparkling, pink and under $11. 223 00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:17,303 Just taste it. 224 00:07:17,328 --> 00:07:18,795 Okay, one glass. 225 00:07:19,382 --> 00:07:21,632 Javier, you take the early shift 226 00:07:21,699 --> 00:07:23,667 on... Saturday. 227 00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:24,701 - Ugh. - Come on, listen, 228 00:07:24,769 --> 00:07:26,390 I got to do what I got to do, you know? 229 00:07:26,415 --> 00:07:28,681 Uh, Gina, wait to induce 230 00:07:28,706 --> 00:07:31,602 until Sunday... afternoon. 231 00:07:31,627 --> 00:07:33,253 Gina, don't you have something on Sunday? 232 00:07:33,278 --> 00:07:34,912 My husband has his fantasy baseball league. 233 00:07:34,979 --> 00:07:36,847 He won't attend the birth if it doesn't happen. 234 00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,649 That's not the man you should be with, I'm sorry. 235 00:07:38,716 --> 00:07:39,650 All right, where do you want these? 236 00:07:39,717 --> 00:07:41,251 Winston, where do we want these? 237 00:07:41,319 --> 00:07:42,519 Where do we want...? Winston? No, dude. 238 00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:43,654 I don't know you like that, man. 239 00:07:43,721 --> 00:07:44,888 Put 'em where the beer goes. 240 00:07:44,956 --> 00:07:46,189 Come on, man, I got eight more deliveries. 241 00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:47,558 Look, I don't like the early shift. 242 00:07:47,625 --> 00:07:50,040 Mercy? 243 00:07:50,065 --> 00:07:53,072 Yes! Yes, yes, man. That's what I thought. 244 00:07:53,097 --> 00:07:54,663 Cheese, the keg's gonna go where it always goes, 245 00:07:54,688 --> 00:07:55,788 right behind the bar. 246 00:07:55,813 --> 00:07:56,733 Guys, the schedule. 247 00:07:56,801 --> 00:07:58,201 - Oh, that's perfect. Thanks. - That works? 248 00:07:58,269 --> 00:07:59,735 Back to work, everybody. Good stuff. 249 00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:01,445 Listen, I get it. 250 00:08:01,470 --> 00:08:02,984 This is confusing and everything, 251 00:08:03,009 --> 00:08:04,641 and I can't just walk in off the street 252 00:08:04,709 --> 00:08:06,643 and do your job instantaneously. 253 00:08:06,711 --> 00:08:07,678 But come on. 254 00:08:07,745 --> 00:08:08,879 Let's be real. 255 00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:11,181 It's still not harder than being a cop. 256 00:08:11,249 --> 00:08:13,350 - Then prove it. - Oh, I'll prove it. 257 00:08:15,086 --> 00:08:16,687 Look, I know I told you to prove it, 258 00:08:16,754 --> 00:08:18,421 but I got to get back to the bar. 259 00:08:18,446 --> 00:08:20,047 I just got a text from Javier that said, 260 00:08:20,072 --> 00:08:22,025 "fire extinguisher" question mark. 261 00:08:22,093 --> 00:08:24,027 Well, all I got to say is, buckle up, Miller. 262 00:08:24,329 --> 00:08:26,029 It's about to be a bumpy ride. 263 00:08:28,766 --> 00:08:30,789 Uh, where... where are my sunglasses? 264 00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:31,968 How the hell should I know? 265 00:08:31,993 --> 00:08:33,704 I specifically asked you to keep track of my sunglasses. 266 00:08:33,771 --> 00:08:36,211 And I told you I'm not your freaking mother. 267 00:08:36,236 --> 00:08:38,134 Okay, you know what, calm down, I'll just squint then. 268 00:08:38,868 --> 00:08:40,023 Do what you got to do, man. 269 00:08:40,048 --> 00:08:41,912 Is this how all partners talk to each other? 270 00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:44,212 Welcome to hell, Miller. 271 00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:46,883 I'm no good at normal life, 272 00:08:47,122 --> 00:08:50,611 but when I'm in the ocean and drinking wine... 273 00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:52,923 ...or spending time with a beautiful stranger... 274 00:08:54,487 --> 00:08:56,502 ...that's when I, uh, truly feel like myself. 275 00:08:56,881 --> 00:08:57,815 Mmm. 276 00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:58,607 Mm-hmm. 277 00:09:00,504 --> 00:09:02,353 How do you feel about a little manchego? 278 00:09:03,548 --> 00:09:06,023 I feel very good about it. 279 00:09:06,048 --> 00:09:07,521 We're not animals. 280 00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:09,156 Or maybe we are. 281 00:09:12,861 --> 00:09:13,861 Have you ever...? 282 00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:14,862 Hmm? 283 00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:18,566 I have too much manchego. 284 00:09:18,634 --> 00:09:19,800 Happens to the best of us. 285 00:09:19,868 --> 00:09:23,471 Have you ever had your eyebrows combed 286 00:09:23,538 --> 00:09:25,740 by a woman you just met? 287 00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:31,712 Yes. 288 00:09:38,048 --> 00:09:39,420 Ah. 289 00:09:39,814 --> 00:09:42,056 Jess, thank you. 290 00:09:42,124 --> 00:09:44,425 You know, I haven't had two hours of uninterrupted sleep 291 00:09:44,493 --> 00:09:47,353 since a month ago when Cece made me watch An Inconvenient Truth. 292 00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:49,673 Everything's under control. The bakery's sending over 293 00:09:49,698 --> 00:09:51,736 - three cakes for you to try. - Okay. 294 00:09:51,761 --> 00:09:55,392 And Gavin from the winery in Calabasas gave me a great deal. 295 00:09:58,473 --> 00:10:00,408 Uh, you met Gavin in Calabasas? 296 00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,710 I didn't just meet him, we kissed a little. 297 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:06,040 No! 298 00:10:06,065 --> 00:10:07,715 Ugh! 299 00:10:07,783 --> 00:10:09,050 Schmidt, what happened? What's wrong? 300 00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:13,421 You just made out with my dad. 301 00:10:28,198 --> 00:10:29,465 Schmidt. 302 00:10:33,948 --> 00:10:36,071 Can I just say one thing? 303 00:10:39,268 --> 00:10:40,787 Hey, guys. 304 00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:43,307 So, how did it go today? 305 00:10:43,575 --> 00:10:44,846 Good. 306 00:10:45,089 --> 00:10:47,732 We got a lot accomplished. 307 00:10:48,774 --> 00:10:50,227 But, um... 308 00:10:50,294 --> 00:10:52,129 how do I say this? Um... 309 00:10:52,462 --> 00:10:54,565 I made out with Schmidt's dad. 310 00:10:57,499 --> 00:10:59,100 You did what? 311 00:11:00,787 --> 00:11:03,373 She lulled me to sleep and then went rogue. 312 00:11:03,441 --> 00:11:05,242 - You did what? - If your files had been clearly marked, 313 00:11:05,309 --> 00:11:06,910 none of this would be happening. 314 00:11:06,978 --> 00:11:08,178 You need better labels. 315 00:11:08,246 --> 00:11:09,673 Everything is perfectly clear. 316 00:11:09,698 --> 00:11:11,721 Chairs are color-coded under chartreuse, 317 00:11:11,746 --> 00:11:14,766 because it sounds like "chair truths." 318 00:11:14,791 --> 00:11:16,586 Salmon mongers are filed under fuchsia, 319 00:11:16,654 --> 00:11:19,089 because I "re-fuchsia" to serve salmon at this wedding. 320 00:11:19,157 --> 00:11:21,758 The groomsmen tuxes are under magenta, 321 00:11:21,826 --> 00:11:25,174 because "ma-gentlemen" will be wearing the dope tuxes. 322 00:11:25,199 --> 00:11:25,932 Is he a good kisser? 323 00:11:25,956 --> 00:11:27,956 Don't ask that, plea... And don't you answer it. 324 00:11:28,032 --> 00:11:30,299 It's withdrawn. I'm just freaking out right now. 325 00:11:30,324 --> 00:11:32,959 Okay, why don't we take this horrible, 326 00:11:32,984 --> 00:11:36,360 horrible, gross mistake into something positive? 327 00:11:36,385 --> 00:11:37,641 What if this is a sign 328 00:11:37,708 --> 00:11:40,651 that maybe you should reach out and talk to your dad again? 329 00:11:40,676 --> 00:11:41,609 Why? 330 00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:43,168 Why would I talk to my dad? 331 00:11:43,193 --> 00:11:45,846 He left my mom and basically missed my entire childhood. 332 00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:47,138 And every time I did invite him to something, 333 00:11:47,163 --> 00:11:49,662 he never showed up: middle school graduation, 334 00:11:49,687 --> 00:11:51,143 high school graduation, 335 00:11:51,175 --> 00:11:52,776 when I played the titular role 336 00:11:52,844 --> 00:11:54,644 in a stage adaptation of Uncle Buck. 337 00:11:54,711 --> 00:11:55,911 Well, he's taken up surfing now. 338 00:11:55,979 --> 00:11:57,613 Oh, he's taken up surfing? How nice. 339 00:11:57,681 --> 00:12:00,049 A middle-aged man who surfs and French-kisses his customers. 340 00:12:00,117 --> 00:12:01,450 What a hero. 341 00:12:01,518 --> 00:12:04,351 Why did you have his number in the wedding drive at all? 342 00:12:05,789 --> 00:12:09,058 Because I was maybe... 343 00:12:09,126 --> 00:12:11,394 warming up to the idea of inviting him, 344 00:12:11,461 --> 00:12:13,062 but now that the nightmare 345 00:12:13,130 --> 00:12:15,398 called "this afternoon" has happened, 346 00:12:15,682 --> 00:12:18,734 I can very well see that I'm not ready. 347 00:12:18,802 --> 00:12:22,071 So I'm sorry, Jess, but there will be no papa nah-nah 348 00:12:22,139 --> 00:12:23,773 at the wedding for you. 349 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:25,408 I'm sorry! He was feeding me cheese, and I... 350 00:12:25,475 --> 00:12:27,076 - I d... Ugh. - Please stop. 351 00:12:27,144 --> 00:12:28,744 - Please. So many details. - Please. 352 00:12:28,812 --> 00:12:30,446 - And-and God for... if you... - Just... 353 00:12:30,514 --> 00:12:33,115 if the words "he unbuttoned my" comes out of your mouth, 354 00:12:33,183 --> 00:12:34,683 I'm gonna freak out! 355 00:12:34,751 --> 00:12:37,353 Oh, thank God, Winston. 356 00:12:37,421 --> 00:12:40,322 You're saving the city from a palm frond. 357 00:12:40,390 --> 00:12:42,851 Los Angeles can sleep soundly tonight, everybody. 358 00:12:42,876 --> 00:12:44,781 All right, it was a slow-ass day. 359 00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:46,195 Aly, will you tell him it's a slow-ass day? 360 00:12:46,263 --> 00:12:49,131 No, I'm not getting involved in this. 361 00:12:49,199 --> 00:12:52,034 I'm not gonna be the yardstick in a penis measuring contest. 362 00:12:52,102 --> 00:12:53,969 Did you say "yard"? Wow, who are you dating? 363 00:12:54,037 --> 00:12:55,204 Tape measure, fine. 364 00:12:55,272 --> 00:12:56,672 Okay, look, this has been great, 365 00:12:56,740 --> 00:12:58,207 uh, but I got to get back to the bar. 366 00:12:58,275 --> 00:12:59,542 7-8-6-3. 367 00:12:59,609 --> 00:13:02,875 Possible 4-5-9 at 2-7-3 Elm Cross and Fairbanks. 368 00:13:02,900 --> 00:13:04,332 Hell yes. 369 00:13:04,357 --> 00:13:06,125 4-2-4 responding. Over. 370 00:13:06,150 --> 00:13:06,982 Bar boy, get in. 371 00:13:07,050 --> 00:13:08,651 Aly, let's lock and load. 372 00:13:08,718 --> 00:13:10,519 Is your gun not loaded? 373 00:13:10,587 --> 00:13:13,306 You have to load your gun, Winston. 374 00:13:34,611 --> 00:13:35,544 Oh, no. 375 00:13:35,612 --> 00:13:38,581 Schmidt, um, that's your dad. 376 00:13:38,648 --> 00:13:39,454 What? 377 00:13:39,479 --> 00:13:42,060 What-what is my dad doing at our front door? 378 00:13:42,085 --> 00:13:43,586 He thinks we're going on a date. 379 00:13:43,653 --> 00:13:45,020 Why would he think that, Jess? 380 00:13:45,088 --> 00:13:47,089 Because I said, "Let's go on a date." 381 00:13:47,157 --> 00:13:48,757 I'll get rid of him. Go to your room and close the door. 382 00:13:48,825 --> 00:13:50,759 Do not tell me what to do; you are not my mom. 383 00:13:50,827 --> 00:13:52,261 Oh, that's disgusting. 384 00:13:52,329 --> 00:13:53,712 Just go. Go. 385 00:13:53,737 --> 00:13:54,930 Wait. Wait, wait. 386 00:13:54,998 --> 00:13:56,098 I don't trust you. 387 00:13:57,982 --> 00:14:00,632 Hey, Gavin! 388 00:14:06,374 --> 00:14:07,358 I know what this is. 389 00:14:07,375 --> 00:14:08,842 I'm not falling for it. 390 00:14:08,910 --> 00:14:11,512 You don't have to stage a crime to make your job look hard. 391 00:14:11,579 --> 00:14:13,514 Stay here. Make yourself as small a target as possible. 392 00:14:13,581 --> 00:14:14,648 I'll just be here 393 00:14:14,716 --> 00:14:17,017 napping out of boredom. 394 00:14:17,366 --> 00:14:19,000 I see signs of forced entry. 395 00:14:19,296 --> 00:14:21,055 Wait, wait, wait, wait! I got movement! 396 00:14:21,122 --> 00:14:23,023 I'm shaking in my boots! 397 00:14:23,441 --> 00:14:24,841 Oh, yeah, right, he's ru... No! 398 00:14:24,866 --> 00:14:26,021 Halt! Police! 399 00:14:30,598 --> 00:14:32,366 Aah! 400 00:14:32,434 --> 00:14:35,002 No! Get away! Get out! 401 00:14:36,104 --> 00:14:37,507 Okay, I get it! 402 00:14:37,532 --> 00:14:39,416 Your job is way harder than mine! 403 00:14:39,441 --> 00:14:41,513 Just make the bad man go away! 404 00:14:41,538 --> 00:14:43,043 - What? - Put the gun down! 405 00:14:43,111 --> 00:14:45,245 Yeah, my job is much harder! 406 00:14:45,313 --> 00:14:48,343 We're gonna make him go away! 407 00:14:48,397 --> 00:14:50,384 Can't stand to see Nick like this, you know. 408 00:14:50,452 --> 00:14:52,086 At least now, he understands being a cop 409 00:14:52,153 --> 00:14:54,421 is much harder than being a bartender. 410 00:14:55,056 --> 00:14:56,590 We all got to learn that lesson sometime. 411 00:14:56,658 --> 00:14:58,959 Idiot, he doesn't think his job is harder. 412 00:14:59,027 --> 00:15:00,094 He just wants you to see 413 00:15:00,161 --> 00:15:01,695 that he's grown and changed 414 00:15:01,763 --> 00:15:03,731 and whatever else stupid stuff people care about. 415 00:15:04,712 --> 00:15:05,508 Oh. 416 00:15:09,252 --> 00:15:10,204 Why are you looking at me like that? 417 00:15:10,271 --> 00:15:11,672 No, no, I... 418 00:15:11,740 --> 00:15:13,707 That's why I need my damn sunglasses, man! 419 00:15:13,775 --> 00:15:15,008 You shouldn't have them 420 00:15:15,076 --> 00:15:17,077 if you can't keep track of them, Winston. 421 00:15:17,145 --> 00:15:18,579 Come on, yeah. 422 00:15:18,915 --> 00:15:20,247 - No! No! - Hey, scoot over. 423 00:15:20,315 --> 00:15:21,448 No, not in here! Not in here, no! No! 424 00:15:21,516 --> 00:15:23,136 - You have the right to remain silent. - No! No! 425 00:15:24,478 --> 00:15:26,286 What are you doing with a video camera on your head? 426 00:15:26,354 --> 00:15:27,588 He is handsome. 427 00:15:27,655 --> 00:15:28,756 - That's a good question. - Oh, hey, look. 428 00:15:28,823 --> 00:15:30,390 That's-that's good news for you, okay. 429 00:15:30,458 --> 00:15:31,792 - It's for work. - I still hate him. 430 00:15:31,860 --> 00:15:33,794 They want to make sure that we don't teach evolution. 431 00:15:33,862 --> 00:15:34,928 I'm an educator, so... 432 00:15:34,996 --> 00:15:35,963 Oh, you told me. 433 00:15:36,030 --> 00:15:37,097 I believe you had me pressed up 434 00:15:37,165 --> 00:15:38,632 against a cask of Merlot at the time. 435 00:15:38,700 --> 00:15:41,235 He's a bottom? 436 00:15:41,302 --> 00:15:43,070 You want to give me the tour? 437 00:15:43,892 --> 00:15:45,739 Or should we just crack this open and make out? 438 00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:48,414 What a line. 439 00:15:48,439 --> 00:15:49,720 Who is this clown? 440 00:15:49,939 --> 00:15:52,179 - Bottle opener in here? - Well... oh. 441 00:15:53,447 --> 00:15:54,836 Oh, actually, 442 00:15:54,861 --> 00:15:57,317 um, change of plans... I can't go on a date tonight, 443 00:15:57,385 --> 00:16:00,087 because I have to have dinner with one of my friends' fathers, 444 00:16:00,155 --> 00:16:01,221 coincidentally. 445 00:16:01,289 --> 00:16:02,088 No pressure. 446 00:16:03,881 --> 00:16:05,559 It's just that I had a lot of fun today. 447 00:16:05,947 --> 00:16:07,227 And, uh, 448 00:16:07,814 --> 00:16:09,660 I'd like to see you again. 449 00:16:14,170 --> 00:16:15,437 - What was that? - Oh. 450 00:16:15,462 --> 00:16:18,261 Gunshots... the neighborhood's in a real slide. 451 00:16:21,329 --> 00:16:22,142 This is my son's name. 452 00:16:22,210 --> 00:16:23,310 7 billion people. 453 00:16:23,378 --> 00:16:24,752 There's got to be some overlap. 454 00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:26,890 We'd better get you back to Calabasas, mister. 455 00:16:26,915 --> 00:16:27,648 - Wait a minute. - 'Cause... 456 00:16:27,715 --> 00:16:29,304 This is my son! 457 00:16:29,329 --> 00:16:31,047 Oh, my God, do you know my son? 458 00:16:31,072 --> 00:16:32,319 Kind of. 459 00:16:32,387 --> 00:16:34,870 - Does he live here? - Uh... 460 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:36,366 Is he here right now? 461 00:16:36,391 --> 00:16:39,187 I didn't know you were Schmidt's dad when we kissed. 462 00:16:39,212 --> 00:16:40,661 And you didn't know I was his roommate. 463 00:16:40,728 --> 00:16:43,163 And those are facts that will haunt us forever. 464 00:16:45,173 --> 00:16:46,695 But I can't let you go in there. 465 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:49,086 Because... he's not ready to see you. 466 00:16:49,111 --> 00:16:51,601 - And for once today, I... - Okay. 467 00:16:51,626 --> 00:16:53,140 I want to respect his wishes. 468 00:16:53,564 --> 00:16:54,557 I get it. 469 00:16:55,337 --> 00:16:57,077 Um, wait, wait, wait, wait. 470 00:16:57,145 --> 00:16:58,378 - No, I'll go. - Wait, wait. 471 00:16:58,446 --> 00:16:59,513 What? 472 00:16:59,581 --> 00:17:00,914 He's in there. 473 00:17:04,181 --> 00:17:05,786 Shh. 474 00:17:06,096 --> 00:17:07,400 She told him. 475 00:17:12,095 --> 00:17:13,000 Son? 476 00:17:13,025 --> 00:17:14,628 - Babe, I think you should watch. - I don't... 477 00:17:14,696 --> 00:17:15,829 - Son. - You should watch. 478 00:17:15,897 --> 00:17:17,464 I know you're mad. I get it. 479 00:17:17,532 --> 00:17:18,832 Do you want me to take this off? 480 00:17:18,900 --> 00:17:20,467 I didn't do a good job being your father. 481 00:17:20,535 --> 00:17:22,420 You're in a zone. I'm just gonna sit tight. 482 00:17:22,445 --> 00:17:23,773 And now you're getting married. 483 00:17:23,798 --> 00:17:24,538 I get it. 484 00:17:24,606 --> 00:17:26,173 I wouldn't have invited me, either. 485 00:17:26,241 --> 00:17:27,341 I've missed a lot. 486 00:17:28,463 --> 00:17:29,642 I'm sorry. 487 00:17:30,361 --> 00:17:31,678 In my defense, 488 00:17:31,746 --> 00:17:33,180 I was stoned for most of the '90s. 489 00:17:33,248 --> 00:17:34,548 And the 2000s. 490 00:17:34,616 --> 00:17:36,917 Full disclosure... I was stoned this morning. 491 00:17:37,743 --> 00:17:38,852 I like weed. 492 00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:40,923 But the point is, 493 00:17:42,173 --> 00:17:44,725 if you can forgive me even a little, 494 00:17:45,033 --> 00:17:46,587 I'd love to have a drink with you. 495 00:17:47,673 --> 00:17:49,863 And meet the man that you've become. 496 00:17:54,596 --> 00:17:55,549 Come on. 497 00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:05,769 Gavin. 498 00:18:06,158 --> 00:18:07,748 That's okay... Gavin, not Dad. 499 00:18:07,815 --> 00:18:08,548 That's just where I'm at right now. 500 00:18:08,616 --> 00:18:09,917 Understood. 501 00:18:09,984 --> 00:18:12,486 I'm grateful you're calling me anything at all. 502 00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:14,888 I wanted to say I'm sorry. 503 00:18:16,525 --> 00:18:18,593 And I know that it might not seem genuine, 504 00:18:18,618 --> 00:18:19,660 because the only reason I came here today 505 00:18:19,727 --> 00:18:21,929 was to do stuff with your roommate. 506 00:18:21,996 --> 00:18:24,398 But in the past ten years, 507 00:18:24,465 --> 00:18:27,283 I must've picked up that phone to call you and apologize 508 00:18:27,993 --> 00:18:29,642 a hundred times. 509 00:18:31,745 --> 00:18:33,279 I really am sorry. 510 00:18:35,009 --> 00:18:38,779 Gavin, this is my fiancée Cece. 511 00:18:39,444 --> 00:18:42,481 She is the reason that I am the man that I am today. 512 00:18:42,550 --> 00:18:44,051 It's wonderful to meet you, Cece. 513 00:18:44,544 --> 00:18:45,786 I'm the terrible father. 514 00:18:46,898 --> 00:18:47,758 Thank you. 515 00:18:47,783 --> 00:18:48,789 Because whatever you did 516 00:18:48,856 --> 00:18:50,123 or didn't do, 517 00:18:51,092 --> 00:18:52,893 Schmidt turned out amazing. 518 00:18:58,847 --> 00:18:59,736 All right. 519 00:18:59,761 --> 00:19:00,901 I'm gonna head out. 520 00:19:02,073 --> 00:19:03,948 I'm sure it will be a beautiful wedding. 521 00:19:06,612 --> 00:19:08,208 I wasn't very good at being married. 522 00:19:09,198 --> 00:19:11,870 But thankfully you seem like you're nothing like me. 523 00:19:15,261 --> 00:19:16,865 For what it's worth, 524 00:19:19,444 --> 00:19:21,587 I like the second option. 525 00:19:22,496 --> 00:19:23,789 Timeless. 526 00:19:24,692 --> 00:19:26,083 I agree. 527 00:19:30,565 --> 00:19:31,967 Good-bye. 528 00:19:35,765 --> 00:19:37,304 Okay, wa... uh... 529 00:19:38,091 --> 00:19:39,306 Wait, uh... 530 00:19:41,352 --> 00:19:42,980 Here, that's for you. 531 00:19:45,986 --> 00:19:48,015 Let's see if you can show up this time. 532 00:19:48,564 --> 00:19:50,017 I hope that you do. 533 00:19:51,853 --> 00:19:53,360 Thank you. 534 00:19:54,619 --> 00:19:56,587 There's no plus one, so don't even ask. 535 00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:58,430 I'll be there. 536 00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:05,631 Back to square one on the seating chart. 537 00:20:07,677 --> 00:20:08,677 Oh! 538 00:20:08,823 --> 00:20:11,041 Sorry, I'm a little bit jumpy. 539 00:20:11,066 --> 00:20:12,039 God, they should really make 540 00:20:12,106 --> 00:20:14,508 a TV show based off what you guys do. 541 00:20:14,575 --> 00:20:16,910 You know, I've been telling that to Aly since forever! 542 00:20:16,978 --> 00:20:18,078 It'd be a great idea. 543 00:20:18,146 --> 00:20:19,413 Hello, Hollywood! 544 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:20,113 It's a big show! 545 00:20:20,181 --> 00:20:21,114 Yeah, it's a hit. 546 00:20:21,810 --> 00:20:23,762 I want to apologize. 547 00:20:23,787 --> 00:20:26,420 I'm sorry that I thought my job was harder than yours. 548 00:20:26,487 --> 00:20:28,255 It's not. I'm just making schedules 549 00:20:28,322 --> 00:20:29,890 and buying beer. 550 00:20:29,957 --> 00:20:31,358 Look, man. 551 00:20:31,426 --> 00:20:33,593 The whole thing has been pretty idiotic. 552 00:20:33,661 --> 00:20:36,229 You know, uh, my job is harder than yours. 553 00:20:36,297 --> 00:20:37,731 Yes, that's a fact. We all know it. 554 00:20:37,799 --> 00:20:39,766 But I got to say, man, this is first time 555 00:20:39,834 --> 00:20:41,902 I've seen you really care about your job. 556 00:20:42,855 --> 00:20:44,994 You're killing it. 557 00:20:45,019 --> 00:20:46,773 It means a lot to me that you said that. 558 00:20:46,841 --> 00:20:48,642 - So thank you. - Yeah, yeah. 559 00:20:48,709 --> 00:20:51,311 So, look, I got... I got us burgers. 560 00:20:51,379 --> 00:20:52,822 - Oh! - You know, 561 00:20:52,847 --> 00:20:54,448 I figured we're both too busy for steak. 562 00:20:54,515 --> 00:20:56,668 The tradition! 563 00:20:58,058 --> 00:20:59,820 Nick, I need a drink. 564 00:21:00,324 --> 00:21:02,422 It'd better be green, sweet and in a fun glass. 565 00:21:02,490 --> 00:21:03,523 Schmidt, are you okay? 566 00:21:03,879 --> 00:21:05,425 I mean, you look a little freaked... 567 00:21:05,493 --> 00:21:07,027 Oh... oh-oh, Cece! 568 00:21:07,095 --> 00:21:08,338 Cece's pregnant! 569 00:21:08,363 --> 00:21:09,262 - No. - Ow. 570 00:21:09,330 --> 00:21:10,933 Jess made out with Schmidt's dad. 571 00:21:11,238 --> 00:21:12,566 Oh, my God! 572 00:21:12,633 --> 00:21:15,135 So many emotions. 573 00:21:24,629 --> 00:21:25,645 Well, I mean, did you like it? 574 00:21:25,713 --> 00:21:28,115 - Don't answer that. - Ew, it was Schmidt's dad. 575 00:21:28,182 --> 00:21:29,582 You're not answering the question. 576 00:21:29,606 --> 00:21:30,717 No, she's not answering the question. 577 00:21:30,718 --> 00:21:32,452 Sweetie, you don't have to say anything. 578 00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:35,856 I liked it a little bit. 579 00:21:35,923 --> 00:21:38,859 Dude.