1 00:00:02,339 --> 00:00:04,005 I'm ready. 2 00:00:04,503 --> 00:00:05,835 I'm ready! 3 00:00:05,860 --> 00:00:07,292 Cece, good news. 4 00:00:07,332 --> 00:00:09,566 I'm making you bar manager! 5 00:00:09,601 --> 00:00:11,568 Yeah, I finally want to focus on my writing. 6 00:00:11,603 --> 00:00:13,469 And you can implement all the ideas 7 00:00:13,505 --> 00:00:14,636 that you've been suggesting. 8 00:00:14,661 --> 00:00:16,659 All I said was that the ladies' bathroom 9 00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:18,183 needs more toilet paper. 10 00:00:18,208 --> 00:00:19,704 And I want you to implement that... 11 00:00:19,729 --> 00:00:20,984 - as manager. - All right. 12 00:00:21,009 --> 00:00:23,951 Cece, this could be your whole future. What do you say? 13 00:00:23,976 --> 00:00:26,493 "Whole future" makes it seem like I'm gonna grow old and die there, 14 00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:28,226 - which is terrifying. - Oh, yeah, 15 00:00:28,253 --> 00:00:29,780 - but... yeah... - I mean, I could use the money... 16 00:00:29,805 --> 00:00:32,789 See, that's what I'm saying! You could use the money! 17 00:00:33,118 --> 00:00:35,425 If you break it down hourly, it's less money. 18 00:00:35,460 --> 00:00:37,036 - Okay. - Don't do that math. 19 00:00:37,654 --> 00:00:39,185 - I'm fat! - I'm ready! 20 00:00:39,217 --> 00:00:40,349 Look at this scarf. 21 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:41,738 I used to be able to wrap this scarf... 22 00:00:41,763 --> 00:00:42,935 - exactly... - You go first. 23 00:00:42,971 --> 00:00:44,931 two and a half times, and the plaid layers 24 00:00:44,956 --> 00:00:46,689 would blend seamlessly. 25 00:00:46,724 --> 00:00:48,357 - Scarf looks fine, Schmidt. - Now the blend is 26 00:00:48,392 --> 00:00:51,293 several degrees from seamless, a... as you can see. 27 00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:53,732 I've gained six pounds, maybe six and a half, I'm sure of it. 28 00:00:53,757 --> 00:00:55,294 Honey, you look exactly the same to me. 29 00:00:55,319 --> 00:00:57,622 Are you implying you gained six pounds in your neck? 30 00:00:57,647 --> 00:01:00,121 I let my gym membership lapse when we were planning the wedding. 31 00:01:00,146 --> 00:01:03,176 Now instead of a chiseled ten, I'm a dumpy seven 32 00:01:03,201 --> 00:01:04,474 breathin' down six's back. 33 00:01:04,499 --> 00:01:06,810 But it's fine. I just have to find a new gym. 34 00:01:06,842 --> 00:01:08,060 Oh, you can come with me to mine... 35 00:01:08,085 --> 00:01:09,518 I'll pick you up after work, okay? 36 00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:11,447 Good. Now back to my thing. 37 00:01:11,516 --> 00:01:12,982 I'm ready! 38 00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:17,644 Oh, sorry. To start dating again. 39 00:01:17,669 --> 00:01:18,692 - Oh. - Oh. 40 00:01:18,725 --> 00:01:20,568 - That's great. I'm so proud of you. - Thanks. 41 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,160 Me, too. About time you got Dr. Sam out of your system. 42 00:01:23,189 --> 00:01:25,189 Here's a prescription for the doctor. 43 00:01:25,645 --> 00:01:27,481 Who needs him? 44 00:01:29,228 --> 00:01:31,208 Keep talking. 45 00:01:32,565 --> 00:01:33,998 Yes. Totally about Dr. Sam 46 00:01:34,048 --> 00:01:36,498 and definitely not about any other specific individuals. 47 00:01:36,523 --> 00:01:38,702 Anyway, I've spent the last few months 48 00:01:38,738 --> 00:01:40,204 self-improving my ass off 49 00:01:40,272 --> 00:01:42,858 and now I'm ready to get this bad boy back on the streets. 50 00:01:42,883 --> 00:01:44,750 That's right. I'm ready! 51 00:01:44,775 --> 00:01:46,303 Schmidt, just so we're clear. 52 00:01:46,328 --> 00:01:49,328 When you say you're a seven breathing down a six's back, 53 00:01:49,516 --> 00:01:51,749 are you referring to Cece? 54 00:01:51,784 --> 00:01:53,625 Is she the six? 55 00:01:55,572 --> 00:01:57,539 Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb www.addic7ed.com 56 00:01:58,415 --> 00:02:00,866 Come on! Flip it! 57 00:02:00,891 --> 00:02:01,969 Flip it! 58 00:02:01,985 --> 00:02:03,552 - Come on, Schmidt, flip it! - Oh, forget it. 59 00:02:03,587 --> 00:02:05,620 - What are you doing? - I don't know. 60 00:02:05,656 --> 00:02:06,778 I used to crush at the gym 61 00:02:06,803 --> 00:02:08,386 and now I'm just mediocre, 62 00:02:08,411 --> 00:02:09,675 like early Beyoncé. 63 00:02:09,700 --> 00:02:11,093 Nobody will say it, but you know it's true. 64 00:02:11,128 --> 00:02:12,900 Look, you're just shaking the rust off. 65 00:02:12,925 --> 00:02:16,244 You got to run the faucet till the brown runs out. 66 00:02:18,166 --> 00:02:20,359 Speaking of which, I have to do the same. 67 00:02:20,384 --> 00:02:22,291 Don't wait up. 68 00:02:22,791 --> 00:02:24,354 Hey, squats, good news. 69 00:02:24,379 --> 00:02:25,900 - I'm dating again. - No, thank you. 70 00:02:25,925 --> 00:02:27,042 - Never mind. - Okay. 71 00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:30,178 What the hell? I used to be so good at dating. 72 00:02:30,214 --> 00:02:31,400 I don't think you were. 73 00:02:31,425 --> 00:02:33,767 I had a thing a certain type responded to. 74 00:02:33,792 --> 00:02:35,603 Hey, Jess. Hey, Schmidt. 75 00:02:35,628 --> 00:02:37,064 - Hey. - Robby, you go to this gym? 76 00:02:37,089 --> 00:02:38,594 Oh, yeah. Jess and I work out all the time. 77 00:02:38,619 --> 00:02:41,197 In fact, everyone from our singles group works out here, too. 78 00:02:41,222 --> 00:02:43,105 Jess, who am I right now? 79 00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:44,167 Tony! 80 00:02:44,192 --> 00:02:45,660 Tony. That's right. Tony. 81 00:02:46,785 --> 00:02:48,830 All right. I'm gonna get a drink and get back to my workout, 82 00:02:48,866 --> 00:02:50,096 but, uh, you better be careful. 83 00:02:50,121 --> 00:02:52,582 My... I-I tore every single ligament in my right leg. 84 00:02:52,614 --> 00:02:53,509 The doctor says I have to focus 85 00:02:53,537 --> 00:02:55,033 on the top until it heals. 86 00:02:55,058 --> 00:02:56,705 Yeah, classic genie workout. 87 00:02:56,740 --> 00:02:59,508 Just let your legs waste away until they turn into mist. 88 00:02:59,543 --> 00:03:01,376 Guess you got to lift weights like Tony sleeps. 89 00:03:01,401 --> 00:03:02,776 - No bottoms. - No bottoms. 90 00:03:05,276 --> 00:03:06,393 We love Tony. 91 00:03:06,449 --> 00:03:07,523 - All right. - Check you later. 92 00:03:08,819 --> 00:03:10,218 All right, got to get back on the horse. 93 00:03:10,254 --> 00:03:12,665 Got to find a guy I can have some rhythm with. 94 00:03:12,690 --> 00:03:14,189 Ooh. Sweaty guy? 95 00:03:14,224 --> 00:03:16,534 Oh. Guy doing Pilates in work boots? 96 00:03:16,559 --> 00:03:17,664 Are you doing a bit right now? 97 00:03:17,706 --> 00:03:19,060 - What? - Just date Robby. 98 00:03:19,096 --> 00:03:20,651 Oh, Schmidt, not this again. 99 00:03:20,686 --> 00:03:22,407 Why not? I mean, you guys get along. 100 00:03:22,432 --> 00:03:24,557 He's clearly into you. You have that whole Tony thing, 101 00:03:24,582 --> 00:03:26,701 which was very inside and alienating. 102 00:03:26,737 --> 00:03:29,604 Well, I do find Robby really funny and... 103 00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:31,439 he's as tall as you can be before it's weird. 104 00:03:31,475 --> 00:03:32,854 See, I'd put him on the wrong side of that line, 105 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,247 but that's just me. Who cares what I think? 106 00:03:34,272 --> 00:03:36,442 Jess... go get him. 107 00:03:40,768 --> 00:03:42,150 Oh. It's a colon drop? 108 00:03:42,186 --> 00:03:43,956 Uh, I didn't order this. 109 00:03:43,981 --> 00:03:47,823 Is it just me or is it colon here? 110 00:03:49,194 --> 00:03:50,380 Yeah. 111 00:04:01,739 --> 00:04:02,904 Hi, there. 112 00:04:02,940 --> 00:04:05,173 Hey, the birds on your shirt look a little lonely. 113 00:04:05,209 --> 00:04:06,708 Maybe they could use some company? 114 00:04:06,733 --> 00:04:07,742 Nah. 115 00:04:07,778 --> 00:04:10,312 They find it very fulfilling to play amongst themselves. 116 00:04:10,347 --> 00:04:12,458 Find me if they change their mind. 117 00:04:13,903 --> 00:04:15,450 Was she hitting on us? 118 00:04:15,485 --> 00:04:16,685 Hey, what can give you? 119 00:04:16,727 --> 00:04:18,617 I guess I'll get some calamari and some soup. 120 00:04:18,642 --> 00:04:19,757 What's the soup of the day? 121 00:04:19,782 --> 00:04:21,876 Actually, what I'm talking about? This is my bar. Who are you? 122 00:04:21,901 --> 00:04:23,925 Oh, Nick, this is Donovan, 123 00:04:23,961 --> 00:04:25,509 the new bartender I hired. 124 00:04:25,534 --> 00:04:26,792 - Hey. - Hey, Donovan. 125 00:04:26,817 --> 00:04:27,996 Yeah, nice to meet you. 126 00:04:28,031 --> 00:04:30,198 Uh, would you mind grabbing a-an extra keg? 127 00:04:30,234 --> 00:04:31,399 Got it. 128 00:04:31,435 --> 00:04:32,734 That's an interesting hire. 129 00:04:32,769 --> 00:04:35,227 You-you see, bartenders are mostly, 130 00:04:35,252 --> 00:04:37,772 I don't know, grizzled guys, you know, with character 131 00:04:37,808 --> 00:04:39,336 or they're hot women 132 00:04:39,361 --> 00:04:41,305 who bring in grizzled guys with character. 133 00:04:41,330 --> 00:04:43,311 I know. He's actually an aspiring model 134 00:04:43,347 --> 00:04:45,046 and I figure he'll bring in more women. 135 00:04:45,082 --> 00:04:46,615 How would he bring in more women? 136 00:04:46,650 --> 00:04:48,884 Because he is super hot. 137 00:04:48,919 --> 00:04:50,218 That guy is super hot? 138 00:04:50,254 --> 00:04:52,043 - Yes. - Okay, if you say so. 139 00:04:52,068 --> 00:04:53,388 I don't say so. 140 00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:55,785 The Lord says so. That boy is off the charts. 141 00:04:55,810 --> 00:04:57,712 - I wouldn't know. - Okay, don't be that guy. 142 00:04:57,737 --> 00:04:59,055 I'm not being that guy. I don't see it. 143 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:01,733 Don't be the, "Eh, I wouldn't know" guy. 144 00:05:01,758 --> 00:05:03,641 - It's a bad color on you. - No, I'm not saying it's a color. 145 00:05:03,666 --> 00:05:05,790 I'm not even making... like... I don't see that he's more handsome. 146 00:05:05,815 --> 00:05:08,069 I have been getting all kinds of female attention lately. 147 00:05:08,105 --> 00:05:09,774 Did I suddenly get more attractive? 148 00:05:09,799 --> 00:05:11,593 How should I know?! I don't see that kind of thing. 149 00:05:11,618 --> 00:05:12,892 - I'm just trying to write. - Babe. 150 00:05:12,917 --> 00:05:13,948 - Yeah, babe. - Babe. 151 00:05:13,973 --> 00:05:15,081 - Yes, babe? - You have a girlfriend now, 152 00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:18,163 which means you've got a lot of confidence and women love that. 153 00:05:18,188 --> 00:05:19,914 Now, if you'll just keep making it clear 154 00:05:19,939 --> 00:05:21,116 that you have a girlfriend, it'll pass. 155 00:05:21,141 --> 00:05:23,912 I hate shutting women down all damn night. 156 00:05:23,937 --> 00:05:26,625 I want to be a source of light in the world. 157 00:05:26,663 --> 00:05:27,694 Well... 158 00:05:27,719 --> 00:05:30,766 That's why I always sit at the table with the little kids first. 159 00:05:33,242 --> 00:05:34,886 Man, that restaurant was so weird. 160 00:05:34,921 --> 00:05:36,187 I feel like we were the only people 161 00:05:36,222 --> 00:05:37,938 not celebrating a birthday. 162 00:05:37,963 --> 00:05:39,490 Well, it-it was called Birthdays. 163 00:05:39,727 --> 00:05:41,775 - ♪ Birthday, birthday, birthday ♪ - How's the chicken? 164 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,243 Sorry, what? 165 00:05:43,268 --> 00:05:45,329 - How-how's your chicken? - What? 166 00:05:45,555 --> 00:05:47,064 I was just saying, "How is your chicken?" 167 00:05:47,108 --> 00:05:48,717 Oh, yeah. I have chicken. 168 00:05:48,742 --> 00:05:49,930 Yes. Yeah. 169 00:05:49,976 --> 00:05:52,555 - I-I know you have it, but how... - I ordered the chicken. 170 00:05:52,580 --> 00:05:55,108 - What? - I ordered the chicken! 171 00:05:55,133 --> 00:05:56,514 Right, right, right. Is it good, though? 172 00:05:56,539 --> 00:05:58,602 It was a loud, horrible restaurant. 173 00:05:58,627 --> 00:06:01,445 - Sorry. - So why did I have so much fun? 174 00:06:01,547 --> 00:06:04,812 - Probably the company. - Yeah, I guess so. 175 00:06:08,749 --> 00:06:10,044 Ow. What? 176 00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:11,823 - Sorry. - It's okay. I guess. 177 00:06:11,858 --> 00:06:13,265 - Well, night, pal. - Oh. 178 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:15,560 - Be well. - Okay. Uh... 179 00:06:28,261 --> 00:06:29,759 Jess, why are you not dressed for the gymnasia? 180 00:06:29,784 --> 00:06:32,440 - Hmm. I'm not going. - Why the hell not? 181 00:06:33,439 --> 00:06:35,173 - Oh, is it your birthday? - No. I just... 182 00:06:35,198 --> 00:06:36,722 Did we forget your birthday? This is terrible. 183 00:06:36,757 --> 00:06:38,595 - It's not my birthday. - It's a big one, too, isn't it? 184 00:06:38,620 --> 00:06:40,525 How old do you think I... 185 00:06:41,462 --> 00:06:43,822 No, I'm eating leftovers from my date with Robby. 186 00:06:43,855 --> 00:06:45,438 Did you go to Birthdays? 187 00:06:45,466 --> 00:06:46,470 You know, if you get a chance, 188 00:06:46,495 --> 00:06:48,500 you should try the Birthdays Express at the airport. 189 00:06:48,535 --> 00:06:50,353 I like it better. It's del... 190 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:51,803 Anyway, how was your date? 191 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:53,648 It was great and then it was disastrous. 192 00:06:53,673 --> 00:06:55,574 - Oh, so you had sex with him? - No. 193 00:06:55,609 --> 00:06:56,575 The opposite. 194 00:06:56,610 --> 00:06:57,916 The opposite? 195 00:06:57,940 --> 00:06:59,751 So, you gave birth to him? 196 00:06:59,776 --> 00:07:01,148 No. It was going really well. 197 00:07:01,173 --> 00:07:03,359 It was fun and then at the end, 198 00:07:03,384 --> 00:07:06,852 he clearly wanted to kiss and I thought I did, too, and then... 199 00:07:06,887 --> 00:07:09,142 instead I just gave him the old Pittsburgh good-bye. 200 00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:10,640 Chuck on the arm and a handshake? 201 00:07:10,665 --> 00:07:12,524 - Why would you do that? - Because, I... 202 00:07:13,717 --> 00:07:16,203 In that moment, I just couldn't see myself 203 00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:18,601 spending the rest of my life with him. 204 00:07:18,626 --> 00:07:22,300 80 years old, feeding him pea soup out of a tin cup. 205 00:07:22,336 --> 00:07:24,742 I'm confused. Is this a happy ending for Jess Day? 206 00:07:24,767 --> 00:07:26,774 I mean, where are you living at this point, under a bridge? 207 00:07:26,799 --> 00:07:28,923 I see you and Cece 208 00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:30,827 and Nick and Reagan 209 00:07:30,852 --> 00:07:32,735 - and Winston and Furguson... - Aly. 210 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:34,874 Sorry, that just came out. Winston and Aly. 211 00:07:34,899 --> 00:07:37,749 And you're all in love, and I just... 212 00:07:37,785 --> 00:07:40,079 don't know if I'll ever have that magic with Robby. 213 00:07:40,104 --> 00:07:42,510 See, this just proves my theory that if you were a man, 214 00:07:42,534 --> 00:07:44,523 you would have a very difficult time getting an erection. 215 00:07:44,558 --> 00:07:45,775 You have a theory about that? 216 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,860 You're putting way too much pressure on yourself. 217 00:07:47,885 --> 00:07:49,227 It's a date, it's not the rest of your life. 218 00:07:49,263 --> 00:07:51,530 - You had a good time, right? - Well, yeah, it was Robby. 219 00:07:51,565 --> 00:07:53,165 He's the funniest guy in the world. 220 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:56,126 So lighten up. If you want to kiss him, kiss him. 221 00:07:56,696 --> 00:07:58,236 Who knows... 222 00:07:58,272 --> 00:08:00,705 maybe you'll see if you have magic then. 223 00:08:01,384 --> 00:08:02,918 You know what? You're right. 224 00:08:02,943 --> 00:08:05,377 I was gonna try to avoid Robby, but funk that chicken! 225 00:08:05,412 --> 00:08:07,337 I'm gonna go get my gym clothes on! 226 00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:08,790 - Yeah. - I'm gonna put my push-up bra on. 227 00:08:08,815 --> 00:08:10,830 That's actually not a bra that pushes my breasts up, 228 00:08:10,855 --> 00:08:12,665 it's actually one that I do push-ups in. 229 00:08:12,690 --> 00:08:14,743 - I get it. - Smash these babies down. 230 00:08:14,768 --> 00:08:15,966 Let's do it. 231 00:08:17,310 --> 00:08:20,160 Ooh, no, Cece, you know it's not Jess' birthday, right? 232 00:08:20,185 --> 00:08:22,127 - Put that away. - Yeah, no, I know that. 233 00:08:22,162 --> 00:08:23,929 Um, this gift is for you. 234 00:08:23,964 --> 00:08:25,931 - What? - Mm-hmm. 235 00:08:25,966 --> 00:08:28,366 Cece... It's a scarf. 236 00:08:28,402 --> 00:08:29,835 - Yeah. - I love it. 237 00:08:29,870 --> 00:08:32,326 Almost makes me want to go to Buffalo for work. 238 00:08:32,506 --> 00:08:34,678 - Thank you. - Mm-hmm. 239 00:08:36,677 --> 00:08:38,960 Look at... look at that. 240 00:08:39,813 --> 00:08:41,225 Oh, no. 241 00:08:42,646 --> 00:08:45,550 O-oh, no. Oh, no! 242 00:08:47,421 --> 00:08:50,722 How long does she think my freakin' neck is? 243 00:08:52,593 --> 00:08:54,226 It's a fat-man scarf. 244 00:08:54,261 --> 00:08:57,294 My wife gave me a fat-man scarf! 245 00:08:58,599 --> 00:09:00,131 I did a few freelance modeling gigs. 246 00:09:00,167 --> 00:09:03,268 I was the "wowee face" for an amusement park ad. 247 00:09:03,303 --> 00:09:04,680 That's actually really great. 248 00:09:04,705 --> 00:09:07,305 - Oh, that was you. - We really gotta get you working. 249 00:09:07,341 --> 00:09:10,677 Let me take a few photos to send to a photographer I used to work with. 250 00:09:10,702 --> 00:09:12,208 - Do some model looks. - All right. 251 00:09:12,233 --> 00:09:13,862 Um, this one I call, 252 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,856 "I just saw something patriotic." 253 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:17,173 All right... 254 00:09:19,591 --> 00:09:21,486 - It was an eagle. - I was gonna say eagle. 255 00:09:21,522 --> 00:09:23,054 I want to show some range. 256 00:09:23,090 --> 00:09:25,801 Show me "I just saw something unpatriotic." 257 00:09:25,826 --> 00:09:27,848 How you gonna pull that off? 258 00:09:27,989 --> 00:09:29,005 Oh. 259 00:09:29,030 --> 00:09:31,161 That's some rich gravy, man. 260 00:09:31,669 --> 00:09:34,032 I noticed you from across the way. 261 00:09:34,262 --> 00:09:35,292 Can I buy you a drink? 262 00:09:35,317 --> 00:09:38,169 I'm sorry, but let me be very clear. 263 00:09:38,205 --> 00:09:39,738 I have a girlfriend., 264 00:09:39,773 --> 00:09:41,839 and I am very much so devoted to her. 265 00:09:41,864 --> 00:09:43,341 Aw. 266 00:09:43,377 --> 00:09:46,005 Here's my number. Use it. 267 00:09:47,184 --> 00:09:49,153 She didn't listen to a word... 268 00:09:50,150 --> 00:09:53,310 Throw a peanut out of frustration! 269 00:09:55,419 --> 00:09:58,020 Okay, why are you even here? 270 00:09:58,045 --> 00:10:00,801 I thought the whole point of promoting me was you could go off and write. 271 00:10:00,826 --> 00:10:02,747 I would love to be writing, 272 00:10:02,772 --> 00:10:05,737 but thanks to you, all I can do is look at Donovan's face 273 00:10:05,762 --> 00:10:07,895 and try to figure out why humans find it appealing. 274 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:11,136 This is insane... you have to be able to admit that he's attractive. 275 00:10:11,171 --> 00:10:12,403 I do... How would I know? 276 00:10:12,428 --> 00:10:15,173 Nick, please, that dude is hot as hell, man. 277 00:10:15,208 --> 00:10:17,876 He is a member of the Hall of Fine. 278 00:10:17,911 --> 00:10:20,584 He's more attractive than Joe Mangaroni. 279 00:10:20,857 --> 00:10:22,810 Manga... Joe Menden... 280 00:10:22,835 --> 00:10:24,282 - Who are you thinking of? - Magic Mike's friend. 281 00:10:24,307 --> 00:10:26,507 - Oh, he's married to that... - Yeah, J Lo. 282 00:10:26,553 --> 00:10:28,186 - Joe Mangallini. - Joe Mangallini. 283 00:10:28,221 --> 00:10:29,721 He's more attractive than Joe Mangallini. 284 00:10:29,756 --> 00:10:32,970 Okay, I know for a fact... 285 00:10:33,260 --> 00:10:37,362 that this was the most attractive man in America for ten years. 286 00:10:37,389 --> 00:10:40,862 I know that because magazines told me so. 287 00:10:40,895 --> 00:10:42,457 - But... - Okay... 288 00:10:42,736 --> 00:10:45,747 Hey, Donovan, could you copy that? 289 00:10:45,941 --> 00:10:47,624 You guys don't look anything alike. 290 00:10:47,649 --> 00:10:49,216 - Okay. - Okay. 291 00:10:51,411 --> 00:10:53,678 Are you planning on speeding up at any point? 292 00:10:54,246 --> 00:10:55,847 Oh, my God, Schmidt, 293 00:10:55,882 --> 00:10:57,415 are you walking on a decline? 294 00:10:57,451 --> 00:10:59,851 This is what we call a "trudge," Jess. 295 00:10:59,886 --> 00:11:02,301 My wife has given up on me, why shouldn't I? 296 00:11:03,824 --> 00:11:05,690 Uh, license and registration, please. 297 00:11:07,427 --> 00:11:09,073 I had a great time last night, you know? 298 00:11:09,098 --> 00:11:10,929 And thank you for taking that cake off my hands. 299 00:11:10,964 --> 00:11:12,074 I would have eaten it for breakfast. 300 00:11:12,099 --> 00:11:14,049 Huh, gross, right? 301 00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:15,233 Better get back to my uppers. 302 00:11:15,268 --> 00:11:16,368 By the time this knee is fixed, 303 00:11:16,403 --> 00:11:18,448 I'm gonna look like the WB frog, you know? 304 00:11:18,473 --> 00:11:20,505 ♪ Ba da bup a duh breeer. ♪ 305 00:11:22,892 --> 00:11:24,062 That guy... 306 00:11:25,043 --> 00:11:27,412 You're the only two people in here that enjoyed that. 307 00:11:27,447 --> 00:11:29,214 Please go after him. 308 00:11:35,674 --> 00:11:37,122 Hey, need a spot? 309 00:11:37,157 --> 00:11:39,224 Yeah, yeah, that'd be great, thanks. 310 00:11:39,713 --> 00:11:43,194 Hey, Jess, about last night, at the end there, 311 00:11:43,230 --> 00:11:45,463 - I hope I wasn't... - No, you weren't, 312 00:11:45,488 --> 00:11:46,869 and I hope you didn't think that... 313 00:11:46,894 --> 00:11:49,330 I just kinda thought that we were in synch, you know? 314 00:11:49,355 --> 00:11:51,533 - But then... - No, Robby... 315 00:11:52,639 --> 00:11:54,773 I wanted to kiss you, too. 316 00:11:55,237 --> 00:11:56,603 You did? 317 00:11:59,166 --> 00:12:00,330 Oh... 318 00:12:01,361 --> 00:12:03,715 Oh, well, Jess, I don't know if this is... 319 00:12:03,740 --> 00:12:04,873 Oh, okay. 320 00:12:17,196 --> 00:12:19,492 - Somebody call an ambulance. - Robby, are you okay? 321 00:12:19,517 --> 00:12:22,681 I don't know, Robby hurt his mouth pretty bad here. 322 00:12:23,270 --> 00:12:26,704 It hurts a lot. It felt good first, but then it hurts a lot now. 323 00:12:30,301 --> 00:12:32,043 Just so you know, this is all your fault. 324 00:12:32,068 --> 00:12:33,465 Oh, that's fair. 325 00:12:33,490 --> 00:12:35,028 I should have made it very clear to you 326 00:12:35,053 --> 00:12:37,040 not to kiss Robby while he was balancing 327 00:12:37,065 --> 00:12:38,918 a dangerous amount of weight above his head. 328 00:12:38,943 --> 00:12:41,809 There was a moment before the bar came down 329 00:12:41,834 --> 00:12:44,660 where we were just two people kissing, 330 00:12:45,137 --> 00:12:46,473 and... 331 00:12:47,342 --> 00:12:48,863 nothing. 332 00:12:49,220 --> 00:12:50,410 No magic. 333 00:12:52,293 --> 00:12:54,520 Look, at least now you know. 334 00:12:54,629 --> 00:12:55,780 No harm done, right? 335 00:12:55,805 --> 00:12:57,973 A tremendous amount of harm done. 336 00:12:57,997 --> 00:13:00,631 Now I have to tell a man I maimed that I'm not interested. 337 00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:03,234 On the bright side, you're not that hurt. 338 00:13:03,465 --> 00:13:05,348 Come to think of it, how are you not more hurt? 339 00:13:05,380 --> 00:13:06,559 When I was in triage, 340 00:13:06,584 --> 00:13:08,387 they said that my neck muscles had served 341 00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:10,174 as kind of a neck helmet, 342 00:13:10,199 --> 00:13:12,963 which made me feel like I was not talking to real doctors. 343 00:13:12,988 --> 00:13:15,268 Anyway, I just have to wear this thing for the next few days 344 00:13:15,293 --> 00:13:16,347 just as a precaution. 345 00:13:16,382 --> 00:13:17,558 Well, if you want to cover it up, 346 00:13:17,583 --> 00:13:19,542 Cece gave me a scarf that's perfect. 347 00:13:19,567 --> 00:13:22,130 It's long enough to wrap around an above-ground pool 348 00:13:22,155 --> 00:13:23,821 filled with Alfredo sauce. 349 00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:26,059 Alfredo sauce. Doesn't that sound good? 350 00:13:26,084 --> 00:13:27,294 - Not really. - I don't know. 351 00:13:27,319 --> 00:13:28,683 Maybe Cece's right. 352 00:13:28,728 --> 00:13:30,795 Maybe I am turning into a fat man. 353 00:13:30,820 --> 00:13:32,463 Cece never called you fat. 354 00:13:32,488 --> 00:13:33,824 Well, I am. 355 00:13:33,879 --> 00:13:36,448 I'm a fat man married to a hot woman. 356 00:13:36,473 --> 00:13:38,335 Cool, I'm a sitcom. 357 00:13:38,371 --> 00:13:40,104 That sounds like a great show. 358 00:13:40,129 --> 00:13:42,463 Throw in a wacky neighbor, I'm watching. 359 00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:45,182 Maybe the reason why you don't want to go to the gym 360 00:13:45,207 --> 00:13:47,918 is 'cause you want to hang out with your beautiful wife. 361 00:13:48,176 --> 00:13:49,257 Right? 362 00:13:49,282 --> 00:13:52,699 And you're fat and happy because you're happy. 363 00:13:55,746 --> 00:13:57,231 You're right. 364 00:13:57,848 --> 00:13:59,285 I'm a lucky man. 365 00:14:00,559 --> 00:14:04,395 A Lucky Man should be the name of your show. 366 00:14:04,497 --> 00:14:07,254 You're a beleaguered casino owner, and a father of three. 367 00:14:07,270 --> 00:14:08,700 - Ms. Day? - Yes? 368 00:14:08,725 --> 00:14:10,442 Mr. McFerrin's regained consciousness. 369 00:14:10,467 --> 00:14:12,442 - Oh, thank goodness. - You can see him now. 370 00:14:12,467 --> 00:14:14,528 Thank you. All right. 371 00:14:14,553 --> 00:14:17,598 You should go home, this could be a long conversation. 372 00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:21,106 Two-four-seven-seven, satellite pharmacy... 373 00:14:21,278 --> 00:14:22,657 Wait a minute. 374 00:14:23,212 --> 00:14:26,547 Robby's full name is Robby McFerrin? 375 00:14:27,714 --> 00:14:30,215 How did I not put this together? 376 00:14:30,821 --> 00:14:32,100 - Hey. - Hey. 377 00:14:32,125 --> 00:14:34,710 I met with that photographer you sent me to. It went great. 378 00:14:34,735 --> 00:14:36,711 I mean, he even gave me a free bottle of water. 379 00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:37,767 Ooh. 380 00:14:37,792 --> 00:14:39,259 I felt like a movie star. 381 00:14:39,284 --> 00:14:40,970 - He wants to work together. - That's amazing. 382 00:14:40,995 --> 00:14:42,194 I got these release forms to sign. 383 00:14:42,219 --> 00:14:43,329 You want me to take a look at them for you? 384 00:14:43,354 --> 00:14:45,915 - Yeah. - Okay. There we go. 385 00:14:50,110 --> 00:14:53,778 Donovan, these terms are unacceptable. 386 00:14:53,846 --> 00:14:56,225 He's really screwing you. 387 00:14:56,250 --> 00:14:57,600 - Aww... - You know what? 388 00:14:57,625 --> 00:14:59,150 I'm gonna get on the phone with him, 389 00:14:59,218 --> 00:15:02,163 because if we start treating our attractive people like this, 390 00:15:02,188 --> 00:15:04,493 our society is gonna collapse. 391 00:15:04,625 --> 00:15:05,923 Hey, man, you busy writing? 392 00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:08,159 - What does it look like? - Want a rain-stick? 393 00:15:08,227 --> 00:15:09,760 Some girl gave it to me. 394 00:15:09,862 --> 00:15:11,274 You know, I'm getting a lot of gifts 395 00:15:11,299 --> 00:15:13,024 from women who want to sleep with me lately. 396 00:15:13,049 --> 00:15:14,600 You know? It's hopeless, man. 397 00:15:14,625 --> 00:15:16,333 I'm so damn confident. 398 00:15:16,402 --> 00:15:19,171 Winston, I was really hoping to make headway on this, 399 00:15:19,196 --> 00:15:21,205 but uh, we got to put out this fire, don't we? 400 00:15:21,274 --> 00:15:22,477 - It's hot. - Hmm. 401 00:15:22,502 --> 00:15:24,811 - You're too confident. - Too confident ain't the word. 402 00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:26,007 I'm at a whole new level. 403 00:15:26,032 --> 00:15:28,196 Do you remember when you were taking the bus to the farmer's market 404 00:15:28,221 --> 00:15:29,724 and it hit a bump and you soiled yourself? 405 00:15:29,749 --> 00:15:32,283 That was not my favorite Arbor Day. 406 00:15:32,308 --> 00:15:34,649 Why you, uh... why are you bringing that up? 407 00:15:34,674 --> 00:15:36,593 Remember when you, uh, were in the park, 408 00:15:36,618 --> 00:15:38,345 and a bee flew into your mouth 409 00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:39,905 and then you fell off the bridge 410 00:15:39,930 --> 00:15:41,952 at that place where all the ducks go to the bathroom? 411 00:15:41,977 --> 00:15:43,250 I see what you're doing. Keep it going. 412 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:45,029 Remember when you had to leave Latvia because you weren't good enough 413 00:15:45,054 --> 00:15:46,827 to be a professional basketball player, 414 00:15:46,852 --> 00:15:49,797 and you came back home to be a full time babysitter? 415 00:15:49,822 --> 00:15:51,274 Okay. All right. Time out. 416 00:15:51,299 --> 00:15:53,237 - You know, you, you hit a nerve. - Okay. 417 00:15:53,272 --> 00:15:55,372 - Definitely brought me down a peg. - I'm sorry. 418 00:15:55,397 --> 00:15:56,707 - It's okay. I needed it. - Okay. 419 00:15:56,776 --> 00:15:58,624 - Okay. - I feel some less confident now. 420 00:15:58,649 --> 00:16:00,744 - My man. - All right, then. 421 00:16:00,769 --> 00:16:02,961 All right. Back to my novel. 422 00:16:08,020 --> 00:16:09,883 - You're still on that? - I can't figure it out. 423 00:16:09,908 --> 00:16:12,968 Look. Imagine a world where you woke up one morning 424 00:16:12,993 --> 00:16:14,829 and instead of your face, 425 00:16:14,854 --> 00:16:16,720 - you had Donovan's face. - Whoa. 426 00:16:16,745 --> 00:16:19,733 And instead of your body, you had his. 427 00:16:19,758 --> 00:16:20,788 How would you feel? 428 00:16:20,833 --> 00:16:22,900 - If I had his face and his body? - Oh-hoo, yeah. 429 00:16:22,969 --> 00:16:24,001 I'd feel fantastic. 430 00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:25,302 And that's... 431 00:16:25,371 --> 00:16:26,937 how you know he's attractive. 432 00:16:26,998 --> 00:16:28,516 - Hmm. - Hmm. 433 00:16:28,790 --> 00:16:30,000 Can I have a minute with this, please? 434 00:16:30,025 --> 00:16:31,208 Oh, sure thing. 435 00:16:31,244 --> 00:16:32,884 Can I interest you in some white noise? 436 00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,063 Yes, please. 437 00:16:39,886 --> 00:16:41,018 Hmm. 438 00:16:46,282 --> 00:16:48,025 So, when a man 439 00:16:48,524 --> 00:16:51,862 looks like a man that you wouldn't mind looking like, 440 00:16:52,352 --> 00:16:55,421 that's a way to assess a man's attractiveness. 441 00:16:55,446 --> 00:16:57,547 - Exactly. - Oh! 442 00:16:57,618 --> 00:16:58,704 That's right. 443 00:16:58,729 --> 00:17:02,030 You are gonna draw up a brand new agreement for Donovan to sign. 444 00:17:02,055 --> 00:17:05,209 Hell, yeah, you're gonna have a courier bring it over to me right now. 445 00:17:05,278 --> 00:17:07,378 And, uh, listen closely, Marco, 446 00:17:07,403 --> 00:17:09,413 Donovan subsection H is a deal breaker, 447 00:17:09,438 --> 00:17:11,015 so, rip it out of the agreement and burn it. 448 00:17:11,083 --> 00:17:12,930 Or we're walking. 449 00:17:13,430 --> 00:17:15,619 Look forward to hearing from you. Thanks, bye. 450 00:17:15,688 --> 00:17:16,946 - That was amazing. - Yeah. 451 00:17:16,971 --> 00:17:18,352 That was amazing. 452 00:17:21,694 --> 00:17:24,261 Allen to pulmonary medicine. Dr. Allen to... 453 00:17:24,821 --> 00:17:26,102 Hey, Robby. 454 00:17:26,127 --> 00:17:27,961 - Hi, Jess. - Oh! 455 00:17:30,618 --> 00:17:32,728 - You don't look so bad. - Mm-hmm... 456 00:17:32,753 --> 00:17:34,608 Oh, don't smile. Don't smile. 457 00:17:34,633 --> 00:17:36,817 - You make me want to smile. - Don't! You'll pop a stitch. 458 00:17:36,842 --> 00:17:40,196 - Don't smile. I'm so sorry. - No, don't be. 459 00:17:40,243 --> 00:17:42,905 It was worth it, Jess, because what happened between us 460 00:17:42,930 --> 00:17:44,243 was so magical. 461 00:17:44,268 --> 00:17:45,508 A dark magic, maybe. 462 00:17:45,533 --> 00:17:47,477 - Can I make a confession? - I wish you wouldn't. 463 00:17:47,502 --> 00:17:49,165 - When I was under... - Here we go. 464 00:17:49,190 --> 00:17:50,754 I saw a bright light. 465 00:17:50,790 --> 00:17:54,415 And I felt that I had the choice to either go into the light 466 00:17:54,743 --> 00:17:56,493 or to come back to you. 467 00:17:56,554 --> 00:17:57,821 And well, here we are. 468 00:17:57,846 --> 00:17:59,719 Mm... this is gonna be a tough one. 469 00:17:59,744 --> 00:18:02,066 - You know what's so great? - No. I don't. 470 00:18:02,091 --> 00:18:05,502 Our first kiss is gonna be such a good story to tell. 471 00:18:05,527 --> 00:18:06,719 It's not that good of a story. 472 00:18:06,744 --> 00:18:07,976 Pretty good story. 473 00:18:08,001 --> 00:18:10,024 Robby, I have something to tell you. 474 00:18:10,049 --> 00:18:11,055 - I... - Mm-hmm? 475 00:18:12,079 --> 00:18:14,134 Oh, my God! Your bad knee! Oh, my God! 476 00:18:14,159 --> 00:18:15,703 I'll get someone to help. 477 00:18:15,748 --> 00:18:18,571 Aah... Oh! 478 00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:23,156 Mm. There she is. 479 00:18:23,181 --> 00:18:25,079 Jess. Big news. 480 00:18:25,095 --> 00:18:26,812 I realized that you were right. 481 00:18:26,837 --> 00:18:29,539 I'm happy because Cece loves me 482 00:18:29,564 --> 00:18:31,397 and she's gonna love me no matter what, 483 00:18:31,433 --> 00:18:34,834 even if I turn into a bloated Ashkenazi marshmallow. 484 00:18:34,870 --> 00:18:37,203 Turns out, I don't have to work out ever again. 485 00:18:37,239 --> 00:18:39,672 I can eat as much as I want and still be happy. 486 00:18:39,708 --> 00:18:41,298 Ooh. How'd your thing go? 487 00:18:41,323 --> 00:18:42,899 - Break the news to Robby? - No. 488 00:18:42,924 --> 00:18:44,696 Before I could break his heart, 489 00:18:44,721 --> 00:18:46,460 I shattered his leg. 490 00:18:46,485 --> 00:18:49,477 It's now in two pieces, connected by... 491 00:18:49,649 --> 00:18:52,314 a skin tunnel where his knee should be. 492 00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:53,377 Hmm. 493 00:18:53,421 --> 00:18:54,915 So, you've broken him twice now. 494 00:18:54,940 --> 00:18:57,673 How am I supposed to tell him I'm not interested now? 495 00:18:57,698 --> 00:18:59,726 I don't think you have any other choice. 496 00:18:59,761 --> 00:19:01,127 I mean, what are you gonna do? 497 00:19:01,162 --> 00:19:03,202 You're just gonna pretend to be into him and then... 498 00:19:03,227 --> 00:19:04,891 nurse him for the rest of your life? 499 00:19:06,237 --> 00:19:08,712 Okay, Robby, time for your soup. 500 00:19:08,737 --> 00:19:10,095 Good morning. 501 00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:12,977 In a strange way, I find this to be deeply romantic. 502 00:19:13,002 --> 00:19:16,676 Yes. It's very romantic, waiting for his body to heal 503 00:19:16,711 --> 00:19:18,595 before I destroy his soul. 504 00:19:18,620 --> 00:19:21,030 Cling, clung, I got a robot dong. 505 00:19:21,055 --> 00:19:23,595 I got a robot dong goes cling, cling, cling... 506 00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:26,071 - You got to love Robby. - He's been singing that a lot. 507 00:19:26,096 --> 00:19:27,126 - Cece. - Hmm? 508 00:19:27,151 --> 00:19:29,571 You've done a great job, but I'm gonna have to demote you. 509 00:19:29,596 --> 00:19:31,352 - Huh? - Shouldn't be a manager, 510 00:19:31,732 --> 00:19:33,774 because you should be a manager. 511 00:19:34,055 --> 00:19:36,048 Are you just saying words in no particular order? 512 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,665 We asked Donovan to bring in a couple of his "hottest friends." 513 00:19:38,690 --> 00:19:40,266 And he sure did. 514 00:19:40,298 --> 00:19:42,765 And I know that because I wouldn't mind having their faces. 515 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,188 And I wouldn't mind having their bodies. 516 00:19:44,213 --> 00:19:45,351 - Okay. - We saw you on the phone 517 00:19:45,376 --> 00:19:46,734 with that photographer, 518 00:19:46,759 --> 00:19:48,609 and you have a gift. 519 00:19:48,634 --> 00:19:50,840 You shouldn't be managing a bar. 520 00:19:50,875 --> 00:19:52,608 You should be managing people like Donovan. 521 00:19:52,644 --> 00:19:53,962 Beautiful idiots? 522 00:19:53,987 --> 00:19:55,311 - No offense. - Oh. 523 00:19:55,346 --> 00:19:57,243 And these objectively handsome men. 524 00:19:57,268 --> 00:19:58,812 They're models, too. Just like me. 525 00:19:58,837 --> 00:19:59,949 Me, managing models? 526 00:19:59,984 --> 00:20:01,452 Just like him and him and him. 527 00:20:01,477 --> 00:20:02,718 Yeah. They're all models just like him. 528 00:20:02,754 --> 00:20:04,487 Well, I do know the business. 529 00:20:04,522 --> 00:20:06,366 - And I hate working here. - Easy. 530 00:20:06,391 --> 00:20:08,954 I mean, I'm gonna keep working here. I need the cash. 531 00:20:08,979 --> 00:20:10,579 Schmidt is eating us out of house and home. 532 00:20:10,604 --> 00:20:13,085 Barkeep! Mudslide, extra whip. 533 00:20:13,110 --> 00:20:14,946 Coming right up, babe. 534 00:20:15,860 --> 00:20:17,101 You know what? 535 00:20:17,126 --> 00:20:18,188 All right. 536 00:20:18,729 --> 00:20:20,626 - I think that I'll do it. - Ha, ha! 537 00:20:20,651 --> 00:20:22,595 Okay, guys. Let's see what you're working with. 538 00:20:24,110 --> 00:20:26,976 I actually just meant show me a portfolio but... 539 00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:28,833 that'll do. 540 00:20:28,858 --> 00:20:30,691 Where's my mudslide? 541 00:20:33,657 --> 00:20:36,657 - Who are these? - My new... clients. 542 00:20:36,868 --> 00:20:39,593 Honey, I think I'm gonna start managing models. 543 00:20:39,618 --> 00:20:42,091 Are you rea... that's a... that's amazing. 544 00:20:42,126 --> 00:20:44,961 Congratulations, Cece. I think you'd be really great at that. 545 00:20:44,996 --> 00:20:47,141 - I'm proud of you. - Yeah? 546 00:20:47,166 --> 00:20:49,562 So, you'll just be swimming in beefcakes all day 547 00:20:49,587 --> 00:20:51,202 and then you'll just... be coming home 548 00:20:51,227 --> 00:20:53,936 to this sock full of meatloaf. 549 00:20:54,437 --> 00:20:56,210 Uh-huh, sister. Not gonna happen. 550 00:20:56,235 --> 00:20:57,884 I'm going back to the gym. 551 00:20:58,704 --> 00:21:00,829 Don't need this fat man scarf. 552 00:21:00,854 --> 00:21:02,445 - Want help? You got it? - You didn't like my gift? 553 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:03,618 It just goes on forever. 554 00:21:03,643 --> 00:21:05,712 You literally just got to take it off. 555 00:21:06,868 --> 00:21:08,684 - Why'd you do that? - Hey! What am I missing? 556 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:10,102 Cece's gonna manage models. 557 00:21:10,127 --> 00:21:13,256 I can't hear anything from over here. I'm gonna come over. 558 00:21:13,291 --> 00:21:14,957 - You guys are really good looking. - Thank you, man. 559 00:21:14,993 --> 00:21:16,792 - Not you. These three. - Oh. 560 00:21:16,828 --> 00:21:17,927 Don't celebrate without me. 561 00:21:17,962 --> 00:21:18,985 Oh! 562 00:21:19,010 --> 00:21:21,134 - Oh, sorry! Oh. Sorry. - You got to... 563 00:21:21,196 --> 00:21:22,257 Oh! 564 00:21:22,300 --> 00:21:24,148 - Okay... - Just move your foot a little bit... 565 00:21:24,173 --> 00:21:25,984 - Aah, you just... - I can't get it out. 566 00:21:26,009 --> 00:21:27,861 - Okay, one of us should help. - I know, we should help. 567 00:21:27,886 --> 00:21:29,649 - Can you just lift your foot a little bit... - That way, that way. 568 00:21:29,674 --> 00:21:30,767 You're hurting him. Go like this. 569 00:21:30,792 --> 00:21:32,208 - Oh! Sorry! - Go like this! 570 00:21:32,243 --> 00:21:33,442 Go like... No. That's not helping. 571 00:21:33,478 --> 00:21:35,228 Oh, aah! Sorry. 572 00:21:35,244 --> 00:21:36,821 I've got an axe. I've got an axe in the back. 573 00:21:36,846 --> 00:21:37,846 I'm gonna cut his leg off. 574 00:21:37,877 --> 00:21:40,847 Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb www.addic7ed.com