1
00:00:03,841 --> 00:00:05,640
Come on, Susan!
2
00:00:05,676 --> 00:00:06,926
There it is!
3
00:00:06,951 --> 00:00:08,067
- Aah!
- Thanksgiving!
4
00:00:08,092 --> 00:00:11,145
- It is 7:00 A.M.
- I've actually been up for two hours.
5
00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:13,014
Let's do this! Perfect Thanksgiving!
6
00:00:13,050 --> 00:00:14,683
Reagan's coming today,
and I want everything
7
00:00:14,718 --> 00:00:16,918
to be great for the guest of honor.
8
00:00:16,954 --> 00:00:18,587
Oh, the... the guest of honor?
9
00:00:18,622 --> 00:00:19,654
Yeah, the guest of honor.
10
00:00:19,690 --> 00:00:21,556
I guess my dad spending
Thanksgiving with me
11
00:00:21,592 --> 00:00:23,191
for the first time ever is a non-event.
12
00:00:23,227 --> 00:00:25,426
Ooh. Is he bringing his new squoosh?
13
00:00:25,451 --> 00:00:27,020
- Hmm?
- Is that a thing people say?
14
00:00:27,034 --> 00:00:28,034
- No.
- Uh-uh.
15
00:00:28,059 --> 00:00:30,999
Well, his squoosh has a
name, and it's Ann Kim.
16
00:00:31,034 --> 00:00:33,497
She's probably gonna want to spend
some time with you ladies, too,
17
00:00:33,522 --> 00:00:36,137
because you know how fathers
and sons can be on Thanksgiving.
18
00:00:36,192 --> 00:00:38,409
Drinking beer, watching the game,
19
00:00:38,434 --> 00:00:40,997
hugging each other in
a way that suggests,
20
00:00:41,022 --> 00:00:42,596
"I forgive you for
every... for everything."
21
00:00:42,621 --> 00:00:43,845
Okay, look, I know
you're excited, but maybe
22
00:00:43,881 --> 00:00:46,026
don't put so much
pressure on it, you know?
23
00:00:46,051 --> 00:00:47,782
I mean, we all... we
all know who your dad is.
24
00:00:47,851 --> 00:00:49,885
Who he was. Who he was, though.
25
00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:51,052
Just don't expect too much.
26
00:00:51,088 --> 00:00:52,542
Just be happy that he's coming at all.
27
00:00:52,567 --> 00:00:54,422
- So what time's Robby coming?
- He's not coming.
28
00:00:54,458 --> 00:00:57,268
- He is going to visit his folks.
- What's your guys' deal now?
29
00:00:57,293 --> 00:00:58,487
Are you actually together,
30
00:00:58,512 --> 00:00:59,961
or are you just nursing
him back to health
31
00:00:59,997 --> 00:01:01,863
'cause you broke his
entire body and face?
32
00:01:01,899 --> 00:01:05,200
We are not together, but I don't
think Robby understands that.
33
00:01:05,235 --> 00:01:06,434
I wonder why, Jess.
34
00:01:06,470 --> 00:01:08,442
You only hang out with him 24/7.
35
00:01:08,467 --> 00:01:11,534
♪ Come on, baby,
make it hurt so... ♪
36
00:01:12,943 --> 00:01:15,810
I feel mean telling him we're not
dating when he's in this state.
37
00:01:15,846 --> 00:01:19,503
It is a lot meaner to lead him on, okay?
38
00:01:19,528 --> 00:01:21,950
- You got to drop the hammer.
- I know. You're right.
39
00:01:21,975 --> 00:01:24,753
I'll do it next time I see
him. I'm just dreading it.
40
00:01:24,778 --> 00:01:26,128
He's such a good egg.
41
00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:28,417
I mean, with his dad khakis
42
00:01:28,442 --> 00:01:30,725
and his glasses and his... his...
43
00:01:30,761 --> 00:01:33,332
his sweet little change purse.
44
00:01:33,489 --> 00:01:35,830
You know what? That's it. He's too nice.
45
00:01:35,866 --> 00:01:37,356
There's just no oomph.
46
00:01:37,381 --> 00:01:39,668
Yeah. It's non-negotiable.
You got to have the oomph.
47
00:01:39,703 --> 00:01:42,692
Yeah, oomph was all Cece and
I had when we started oomphing.
48
00:01:42,717 --> 00:01:44,073
Oh, "oomph" is sex.
49
00:01:44,098 --> 00:01:46,018
Why say that stupid
word? Just say "sex."
50
00:01:46,043 --> 00:01:47,932
Oh, because it's more than that, Nick.
51
00:01:47,957 --> 00:01:49,578
It's fire. It's passion.
52
00:01:49,605 --> 00:01:50,660
It's ha-cha-cha-cha-cha
53
00:01:50,685 --> 00:01:51,799
- cha-cha-cha-cha-cha.
- Mm.
54
00:01:51,831 --> 00:01:54,050
And there's no ha-cha-cha
with Robby. He's too nice.
55
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:57,190
Well, look, Jess, do what you
got to, but I love that guy.
56
00:01:57,215 --> 00:01:58,675
Robby was there for me
57
00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:00,989
when I got hurt in the line of duty.
58
00:02:02,381 --> 00:02:05,660
Winston, you sprained your
ankle running for a bagel.
59
00:02:05,703 --> 00:02:08,003
- Yeah. I was at work, though.
- Running for a bagel.
60
00:02:08,031 --> 00:02:10,270
Look, Robby's the only one
who understands my pain.
61
00:02:10,295 --> 00:02:13,096
Well, nothing makes me happier
than cooking for ten hours
62
00:02:13,121 --> 00:02:15,909
and eating in under 25
minutes. Chant me in.
63
00:02:15,934 --> 00:02:17,505
Stuff that bird!
64
00:02:17,541 --> 00:02:20,675
Stuff that bird! Stuff that bird!
65
00:02:20,711 --> 00:02:23,011
Guess who's too injured to fly?
66
00:02:23,046 --> 00:02:24,479
Is it you?
67
00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:28,012
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com
68
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Don't get me wrong. I mean, I feel...
69
00:02:30,467 --> 00:02:33,268
I feel like I'm holding the long
end of the wishbone right now, but,
70
00:02:33,293 --> 00:02:35,490
um, why wouldn't they
let you on the plane?
71
00:02:35,525 --> 00:02:37,058
There was a fit issue.
72
00:02:37,094 --> 00:02:39,309
I'm sorry. All right. I'm so sorry.
73
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- Oh! Oh! Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
- Whoa. Whoa.
74
00:02:40,931 --> 00:02:43,010
- Aah! No, no, no, it's fine.
- Oh! Oh!
75
00:02:43,035 --> 00:02:46,192
Well, at least you had the fun of
going to the airport on Thanksgiving.
76
00:02:46,217 --> 00:02:48,970
And I get to hang out with you.
77
00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:51,640
Yay! And boo!
78
00:02:51,675 --> 00:02:55,309
Because I already have
plans with a 15-pound cutie.
79
00:02:55,334 --> 00:02:56,604
I'm talking about the turkey.
80
00:02:56,629 --> 00:02:59,120
Listen, I'm gonna plant
you in front of the parade,
81
00:02:59,148 --> 00:03:01,739
and you're gonna yell
out what balloons go by!
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00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:02,748
Okay. Okay.
83
00:03:02,773 --> 00:03:03,818
The start of the parade just...
84
00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:08,058
With the speed?! He like
Mayweather with the knife!
85
00:03:08,083 --> 00:03:09,184
Okay, what is going on?
86
00:03:09,209 --> 00:03:11,098
Because you don't even
use a knife to eat a steak?
87
00:03:11,130 --> 00:03:13,563
Well, my girl is coming. Of
course my hands are dancing.
88
00:03:13,599 --> 00:03:16,753
These knives are a part of me
like that, uh, scissor hand guy.
89
00:03:16,778 --> 00:03:18,768
What is his name again? Is it Rick Snip?
90
00:03:18,793 --> 00:03:21,271
- Did you drop the hammer?
- I have not dropped the hammer.
91
00:03:21,306 --> 00:03:22,873
Snoopy! Saw Snoopy.
92
00:03:22,908 --> 00:03:24,841
Okay, no. You-you got to end this.
93
00:03:24,877 --> 00:03:27,760
False alarm. It's just John
Stamos on a Greek yogurt float.
94
00:03:27,785 --> 00:03:29,065
Drop the hammer now?
95
00:03:29,090 --> 00:03:31,782
He can't even tell the difference
between John Stamos and Snoopy.
96
00:03:31,817 --> 00:03:33,940
You can't break a man's
heart on a holiday.
97
00:03:33,965 --> 00:03:36,151
I'm telling you, it happened
to me once, and that pain...
98
00:03:36,176 --> 00:03:38,393
it comes back year
after year after year.
99
00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:40,190
You don't want to do that
to him, I'm telling you.
100
00:03:40,215 --> 00:03:41,612
That's why I'm always a hot mess
101
00:03:41,637 --> 00:03:42,826
on take-your-daughter-to-work day.
102
00:03:42,861 --> 00:03:45,162
Uh-oh. It's the senior citizens choir.
103
00:03:45,197 --> 00:03:46,296
Get the tissues!
104
00:03:46,331 --> 00:03:47,397
Look, I'll tell you what, Jess.
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00:03:47,432 --> 00:03:48,999
I'll keep him busy for the day.
106
00:03:49,051 --> 00:03:51,379
- You can destroy him tomorrow.
- Thank you, Winston.
107
00:03:51,404 --> 00:03:53,436
You know what? Next
take-your-daughter-to-work-day
108
00:03:53,472 --> 00:03:56,246
is gonna be take-Winston-out-
for-spaghetti day.
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00:03:56,535 --> 00:03:58,241
I would enjoy that.
110
00:03:58,277 --> 00:04:00,043
I would enjoy that for real.
111
00:04:01,692 --> 00:04:03,346
Ooh, it's my daddy!
112
00:04:03,382 --> 00:04:05,148
It's my daddy!
113
00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:07,182
Gobble, gobble.
114
00:04:07,207 --> 00:04:09,553
Happy Thanksgiving, son.
115
00:04:09,588 --> 00:04:11,655
I hope you're ready, 'cause I
have a full day planned for us.
116
00:04:11,690 --> 00:04:13,590
First up is a game of American football
117
00:04:13,625 --> 00:04:15,292
featuring the Cowboys of Dallas.
118
00:04:17,396 --> 00:04:19,563
I'm sorry.
119
00:04:20,028 --> 00:04:22,042
It's our first Thanksgiving together.
120
00:04:22,067 --> 00:04:24,057
Look, I've been crying all morning, too.
121
00:04:24,082 --> 00:04:26,239
It's... this is a good thing.
122
00:04:26,403 --> 00:04:28,382
Ann Kim broke up with me.
123
00:04:28,407 --> 00:04:29,606
Oh, no.
124
00:04:29,641 --> 00:04:31,174
Excuse me.
125
00:04:31,210 --> 00:04:32,375
Da...
126
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:33,410
Gavin!
127
00:04:33,445 --> 00:04:34,543
Happy Thanksgiving.
128
00:04:34,568 --> 00:04:37,380
- Hey, Gavin.
- It just got a whole lot happier.
129
00:04:38,142 --> 00:04:39,775
Excuse me.
130
00:04:41,334 --> 00:04:42,967
Daddy?
131
00:04:43,489 --> 00:04:46,192
You remember when you
tongue-kissed that guy?
132
00:04:48,184 --> 00:04:52,019
Now this marching band
has traveled 1,500 miles...
133
00:04:52,044 --> 00:04:53,910
What you taking? Little boy blues?
134
00:04:53,946 --> 00:04:55,545
Yeah, I've been there.
135
00:04:55,581 --> 00:04:56,880
How many miggies you working with?
136
00:04:56,915 --> 00:04:58,782
Yeah, my pharmacist
bumped me up to nine.
137
00:04:58,817 --> 00:05:02,319
1,400. Yeah. I have to
take 18 pills an hour
138
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:05,136
in a very specific order,
and they virtually assured me
139
00:05:05,161 --> 00:05:06,817
that I will be addicted to them.
140
00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:09,618
- Hey.
- Hey.
141
00:05:09,661 --> 00:05:11,194
Hey, what happened to Rick Snip?
142
00:05:11,230 --> 00:05:14,198
Uh, gone and, uh...
143
00:05:14,223 --> 00:05:16,112
these tears... honestly,
they're from the onions.
144
00:05:16,137 --> 00:05:17,893
They're not from Reagan bailing.
145
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:19,780
Oh, no. Reagan's not coming?
146
00:05:19,805 --> 00:05:22,807
No. She just called. Uh,
her boss sent her to Omaha,
147
00:05:22,832 --> 00:05:24,645
so she can't make it, but it's fine.
148
00:05:24,786 --> 00:05:26,776
Oh, I'm sorry, Nick.
149
00:05:26,812 --> 00:05:29,926
I also wear a slow-release
opium patch on my spine.
150
00:05:31,066 --> 00:05:33,355
Hey, I ever told you the story of
how I got injured in the first place?
151
00:05:33,380 --> 00:05:35,807
- Yes.
- One may think that it started
152
00:05:35,832 --> 00:05:38,557
because of a lack of bagels, but no.
153
00:05:38,582 --> 00:05:40,723
It started with a surplus...
154
00:05:40,748 --> 00:05:42,259
- of cream cheese.
- Of cream cheese.
155
00:05:42,294 --> 00:05:44,427
Yes, yes, you're familiar
with such happening.
156
00:05:44,463 --> 00:05:45,825
You know what? I think
Jess told me to help her...
157
00:05:45,850 --> 00:05:47,065
No, no, no, no. You're good.
158
00:05:47,090 --> 00:05:48,965
Uh, lock you up.
159
00:05:49,001 --> 00:05:50,467
I'm sure she's bummed, too.
160
00:05:50,502 --> 00:05:53,103
- How long is she gonna be there?
- No idea. I didn't ask.
161
00:05:53,138 --> 00:05:55,246
I just said, "Happy Thanksgiving."
162
00:06:03,849 --> 00:06:05,181
And then I hung up.
163
00:06:05,217 --> 00:06:06,850
Okay, you're gonna have
to leave the kitchen.
164
00:06:06,885 --> 00:06:09,104
The whole sad-guy,
whiskey-flame combination
165
00:06:09,129 --> 00:06:10,317
is starting to worry me.
166
00:06:10,342 --> 00:06:14,166
Let me know when my whiskey boils
down to a crystal so I can eat it.
167
00:06:15,694 --> 00:06:17,961
Hey, Dad, are you okay in there?
168
00:06:17,996 --> 00:06:19,296
Did you fall in?
169
00:06:19,331 --> 00:06:20,830
That's a dad joke
that I would've assumed
170
00:06:20,866 --> 00:06:22,932
I would have heard you make
had you been around more.
171
00:06:22,968 --> 00:06:25,135
I want you to know I'm
not using the bathroom.
172
00:06:25,170 --> 00:06:26,586
I'm just sitting here.
173
00:06:26,611 --> 00:06:29,406
Hey, Dad, you know what's
a great cure for heartache?
174
00:06:29,441 --> 00:06:31,500
A little father-and-son time.
175
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:34,844
You know, we could have
a catch, whittle a stick.
176
00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:37,510
Why don't you just come out?
177
00:06:37,908 --> 00:06:40,338
I'm sorry, son. You're right.
178
00:06:40,416 --> 00:06:41,651
Today is about family.
179
00:06:41,687 --> 00:06:42,819
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Exactly.
180
00:06:42,854 --> 00:06:44,963
There's my favorite whiskey glass.
181
00:06:45,174 --> 00:06:49,025
- Aah. Who wants to get wasted?
- Me. So badly.
182
00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:51,027
Ugh. I'm so sorry, babe.
183
00:06:51,063 --> 00:06:52,662
Yeah. No. I'm-I'm fine.
184
00:06:52,698 --> 00:06:56,066
Look, we don't wear sweaters
and roll around in the leaves,
185
00:06:56,101 --> 00:06:57,767
but there are other ways for us to bond.
186
00:06:57,803 --> 00:07:00,737
If he wants to drink, then,
you know what? I'm gonna drink.
187
00:07:00,772 --> 00:07:03,239
I'm gonna get sloppy with my poppy.
188
00:07:03,275 --> 00:07:06,211
Nick. Papa! Wait for me.
189
00:07:06,243 --> 00:07:07,774
Just need to get my bitters kit.
190
00:07:07,799 --> 00:07:09,164
Ooh, actually, can you just make sure
191
00:07:09,189 --> 00:07:10,413
that there's a garbage
can next to the bed?
192
00:07:10,449 --> 00:07:13,158
Because... I can't hang.
193
00:07:15,787 --> 00:07:17,220
Robby!
194
00:07:17,255 --> 00:07:19,356
What are you doing here
with me and not with Winston?
195
00:07:19,391 --> 00:07:22,680
I like Winston, but he's been telling
this bagel story for ten minutes.
196
00:07:22,705 --> 00:07:24,227
I haven't even met all
the main characters yet.
197
00:07:24,262 --> 00:07:26,155
Plus, I have a little surprise for you.
198
00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:27,397
To make up for this morning,
199
00:07:27,432 --> 00:07:30,420
the airline gave me two free tickets
200
00:07:30,445 --> 00:07:32,335
to anywhere in the contiguous 48 states.
201
00:07:32,371 --> 00:07:33,870
Oh. Ha.
202
00:07:33,905 --> 00:07:36,100
Well, I'd love to, you
know, plan our future,
203
00:07:36,125 --> 00:07:37,998
but we're eating in under four hours,
204
00:07:38,023 --> 00:07:39,334
and so I have to put you to work.
205
00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:41,459
Okay, you just, crouton.
206
00:07:41,484 --> 00:07:42,818
- Oh.
- All right. Keep croutonning.
207
00:07:42,843 --> 00:07:45,444
Okay, I'm not that close to the table.
208
00:07:46,785 --> 00:07:48,437
Darn it.
209
00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:49,959
- I was just in the bathroom
- ROBBY: Nothing but net.
210
00:07:49,984 --> 00:07:52,088
with my husband and his father.
211
00:07:52,124 --> 00:07:53,609
Are you also having a good Thanksgiving?
212
00:07:53,634 --> 00:07:55,492
Hey, Jess. Check this out.
213
00:07:56,453 --> 00:07:57,522
Did that go in?
214
00:07:57,547 --> 00:07:59,412
- Robby got plane tickets,
- Swish.
215
00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:01,139
- and he wants to whisk my away,
- Nothing but bowl.
216
00:08:01,164 --> 00:08:04,406
once he gets better, which
could be months from now.
217
00:08:04,431 --> 00:08:06,635
Jess, I'm looking up
some hotels right now.
218
00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:08,101
Twin bed's okay, right?
219
00:08:08,473 --> 00:08:10,148
Hammer time?
220
00:08:10,409 --> 00:08:12,342
Hammer time.
221
00:08:14,980 --> 00:08:17,444
- Cheers.
- Yes, sir.
222
00:08:17,726 --> 00:08:20,030
Ah. This is the dream.
223
00:08:20,249 --> 00:08:23,648
A boy, his dad, his best
friend sharing a drink.
224
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:25,632
Don't tell Mom, right?
225
00:08:25,657 --> 00:08:27,123
I'm just kidding.
226
00:08:27,159 --> 00:08:28,991
I know you and Mom
haven't spoken in 30 years,
227
00:08:29,016 --> 00:08:30,641
including my wedding.
228
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:32,084
You know what's stupid?
229
00:08:32,109 --> 00:08:33,663
There's a part of me
that actually thought
230
00:08:33,698 --> 00:08:35,698
I might have a wedding
with Ann Kim someday.
231
00:08:35,734 --> 00:08:37,500
I don't think that's stupid at all, Dad.
232
00:08:37,536 --> 00:08:39,169
I think that's beautiful.
233
00:08:39,204 --> 00:08:41,545
You know, you opened
up your heart to Ann Kim
234
00:08:41,570 --> 00:08:42,905
and that's brave.
235
00:08:42,930 --> 00:08:44,211
Maybe she was just scared.
236
00:08:44,236 --> 00:08:45,575
You know women. They're a mystery.
237
00:08:45,610 --> 00:08:47,186
Yeah, sometimes they just go to Omaha
238
00:08:47,211 --> 00:08:48,467
and you don't know when
they're gonna come back.
239
00:08:48,492 --> 00:08:49,579
Or if they're coming back.
240
00:08:49,614 --> 00:08:51,133
How do you even know she's in Omaha?
241
00:08:51,158 --> 00:08:53,216
Oh, because, uh, she said she was.
242
00:08:55,687 --> 00:08:58,054
- Nothing means anything.
- Nothing means anything.
243
00:08:58,096 --> 00:09:00,070
Nothing... means anything.
244
00:09:00,095 --> 00:09:01,146
At least you're young, Nick.
245
00:09:01,171 --> 00:09:03,660
You got a rocking bod with kickass buns.
246
00:09:03,695 --> 00:09:04,928
You're not gonna have any problems.
247
00:09:04,963 --> 00:09:07,530
Who's gonna want an old guy like me?
248
00:09:08,687 --> 00:09:10,279
I've got garbage buns.
249
00:09:10,304 --> 00:09:12,413
What? Are you out of your mind?
Dad, you've got fantastic buns.
250
00:09:12,438 --> 00:09:13,523
- You think?
- I'm telling you,
251
00:09:13,548 --> 00:09:14,622
you've got nothing to worry about.
252
00:09:14,647 --> 00:09:16,772
Nick, stand up, put your buns
next to each other, so... here.
253
00:09:16,797 --> 00:09:17,807
What is happening here?
254
00:09:17,843 --> 00:09:19,491
I'm not doing anybody any favors today.
255
00:09:19,522 --> 00:09:20,630
I'm a bummer.
256
00:09:20,655 --> 00:09:22,929
Probably the best thing I
could do would be to head home.
257
00:09:22,954 --> 00:09:24,138
See you later, man,
nice to see you again.
258
00:09:24,163 --> 00:09:25,804
Dad, stay. Look...
259
00:09:25,829 --> 00:09:27,484
you're gonna land on your feet.
260
00:09:27,519 --> 00:09:31,474
I've see... I've seen all kinds
of women throw themselves at you.
261
00:09:31,499 --> 00:09:34,457
Lifeguards and teachers, lens crafters.
262
00:09:34,493 --> 00:09:36,185
Remember when you had
your tongue in Jess' mouth?
263
00:09:36,210 --> 00:09:39,095
She tasted like licorice...
sweet but with a bite.
264
00:09:39,130 --> 00:09:40,563
Not... you're not helping, Nick.
265
00:09:40,599 --> 00:09:42,031
Actually, you know what? Can I
see you in the hallway, please?
266
00:09:42,067 --> 00:09:43,466
Why?
267
00:09:49,508 --> 00:09:52,196
Nick, we have got to
go to Ann Kim's house
268
00:09:52,221 --> 00:09:53,961
and convince her to give
my dad a second chance.
269
00:09:53,986 --> 00:09:56,586
- It's the only way he's gonna stay.
- She's not gonna come. She's a snake.
270
00:09:56,611 --> 00:09:57,680
All women are snakes.
271
00:09:57,716 --> 00:09:59,115
I understand that you're
spinning out about Reagan.
272
00:09:59,150 --> 00:10:01,217
I'm spinning out about Reagan.
273
00:10:01,253 --> 00:10:03,019
I get it. But you have to help me
274
00:10:03,054 --> 00:10:04,888
save my Thanksgiving with my dad.
275
00:10:04,923 --> 00:10:06,489
You're right. I'm so sorry.
276
00:10:06,525 --> 00:10:07,757
We can pull this off.
277
00:10:07,792 --> 00:10:09,626
If we get her to take him back...
278
00:10:09,661 --> 00:10:11,361
- ... We'd be heroes.
- That's right.
279
00:10:12,824 --> 00:10:15,766
Look at that, Mom, I'm gonna be a hero.
280
00:10:15,791 --> 00:10:17,867
Why are you looking up?
Your mother is still alive.
281
00:10:17,903 --> 00:10:18,902
I'm looking at Chicago.
282
00:10:18,937 --> 00:10:20,336
You think Chicago is up?
283
00:10:20,372 --> 00:10:22,005
It's north.
284
00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:24,207
Robby, you're a great guy,
285
00:10:24,242 --> 00:10:27,369
but nothing is ever
gonna happen between us.
286
00:10:27,689 --> 00:10:29,375
However, someday you're gonna open
287
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:31,147
a really wonderful bed and breakfast.
288
00:10:31,182 --> 00:10:32,571
- That was pretty good.
- I mean, right?
289
00:10:32,596 --> 00:10:35,297
Can you imagine the wine and
cheese hour he would put on?
290
00:10:35,322 --> 00:10:36,682
Stuff the toga with hot coals.
291
00:10:36,707 --> 00:10:37,891
- We're going out.
- What? Wait.
292
00:10:37,916 --> 00:10:40,657
Have a place setting at
the table for Ann Kim,
293
00:10:40,692 --> 00:10:43,032
but don't seat her next to my dad.
294
00:10:43,057 --> 00:10:44,594
I want all the couples split up.
295
00:10:44,629 --> 00:10:46,229
Everybody gets to talk
that way, but, uh...
296
00:10:46,264 --> 00:10:47,864
- and then put me next to Nick.
- Yeah.
297
00:10:47,890 --> 00:10:49,290
And then my dad next to me as well.
298
00:10:49,334 --> 00:10:51,234
So I'm sandwiched
between Nick and my dad.
299
00:10:51,269 --> 00:10:52,744
You guys can't leave. We need you here.
300
00:10:52,769 --> 00:10:54,170
Well, I need a happy daddy.
301
00:10:54,205 --> 00:10:55,672
He needs a happy daddy.
302
00:10:55,707 --> 00:10:57,407
If they never come back, the
last words I'll have heard
303
00:10:57,433 --> 00:11:00,618
my husband say are "happy daddy."
304
00:11:00,667 --> 00:11:02,734
Okay, good luck.
305
00:11:05,826 --> 00:11:08,394
Oh, smells great.
306
00:11:08,532 --> 00:11:10,420
That's just my famous gravy.
307
00:11:10,455 --> 00:11:13,249
The trick is, um, a pinch of brown sugar
308
00:11:13,274 --> 00:11:15,224
and then a couple more
handfuls of brown sugar.
309
00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:17,260
Actually, uh, just a lot of brown sugar.
310
00:11:17,295 --> 00:11:20,063
Ann Kim loves gravy.
311
00:11:20,298 --> 00:11:22,805
Big dogs, small horses,
312
00:11:22,852 --> 00:11:25,469
the smell of rain, and gasoline.
313
00:11:27,102 --> 00:11:29,116
Oh, Gavin.
314
00:11:29,141 --> 00:11:30,704
You're a handsome
315
00:11:30,729 --> 00:11:32,575
and passionate
316
00:11:32,611 --> 00:11:34,735
and charismatic man.
317
00:11:34,813 --> 00:11:36,479
You and me.
318
00:11:36,908 --> 00:11:38,475
We really had something.
319
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:39,916
What do you say we give it another shot?
320
00:11:39,951 --> 00:11:43,219
Let's just drive and drive and drive.
321
00:11:43,254 --> 00:11:46,235
I know what I'm not
thankful for this year.
322
00:11:46,688 --> 00:11:48,091
This. This is it.
323
00:11:48,126 --> 00:11:50,515
- Robby, this is not what it looks...
- Don't say anything.
324
00:11:50,540 --> 00:11:51,561
I-I don't even know where to begin,
325
00:11:51,596 --> 00:11:52,729
so I'll just start by saying
326
00:11:52,764 --> 00:11:54,993
that is smells delicious in here.
327
00:11:55,133 --> 00:11:56,399
I'm gonna leave.
328
00:11:58,036 --> 00:11:59,571
Just...
329
00:12:02,273 --> 00:12:03,735
hold on a second.
330
00:12:11,703 --> 00:12:14,163
Hey, Ann Kim, show your face.
331
00:12:14,187 --> 00:12:16,060
You cold-hearted zombie.
332
00:12:16,085 --> 00:12:18,497
- Who's down there?
- It's Gavin's son.
333
00:12:18,522 --> 00:12:20,796
I don't know if you remember this,
but we went on a double date once.
334
00:12:20,821 --> 00:12:23,200
My wife got terribly ill
from some truffle oil.
335
00:12:23,225 --> 00:12:24,628
Rich foods don't agree with her.
336
00:12:24,655 --> 00:12:25,802
Did Gavin send you?
337
00:12:25,836 --> 00:12:27,521
No, no, no. He doesn't
even know that I'm here.
338
00:12:27,952 --> 00:12:29,967
Look, Ann Kim, he's heartbroken.
339
00:12:30,002 --> 00:12:32,169
You opened up something inside of him,
340
00:12:32,205 --> 00:12:34,489
and you turned him into the man
341
00:12:34,514 --> 00:12:36,778
that I always knew that he could be.
342
00:12:36,864 --> 00:12:38,794
And darn it, I'm just a kid...
343
00:12:40,157 --> 00:12:42,350
hoping for a Thanksgiving miracle.
344
00:12:42,382 --> 00:12:45,975
Why don't you give him a second
chance and come back with us,
345
00:12:46,014 --> 00:12:48,366
and let's all give thanks together.
346
00:12:49,428 --> 00:12:50,588
Great speech.
347
00:12:50,623 --> 00:12:52,366
Yeah, it really was a great speech, man.
348
00:12:52,390 --> 00:12:53,661
Thanks.
349
00:12:53,686 --> 00:12:56,085
Did you do it with the five
other women he's dating?
350
00:12:56,110 --> 00:12:57,171
What?
351
00:12:57,196 --> 00:12:58,875
That's why he always refers to me
352
00:12:58,900 --> 00:13:00,934
by my first and last name,
353
00:13:00,959 --> 00:13:02,975
because he's dating two Anns.
354
00:13:03,936 --> 00:13:05,997
This is worse than my Reagan thing.
355
00:13:06,022 --> 00:13:07,911
I can't believe that I spent all day
356
00:13:07,936 --> 00:13:10,615
feeling sorry for that son of a bitch.
357
00:13:10,643 --> 00:13:12,743
I guess I'm the son of a bitch.
358
00:13:12,779 --> 00:13:14,345
Leave or I'm hitting the sprinklers.
359
00:13:14,380 --> 00:13:17,436
Ann Kim, please, give me
a minute to process this.
360
00:13:17,999 --> 00:13:19,417
- Sprinklers!
- That was not a minute!
361
00:13:19,452 --> 00:13:20,851
- Sprinklers!
- That was not a minute!
362
00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:22,153
No!
363
00:13:24,791 --> 00:13:26,357
Hello, Jessica.
364
00:13:26,392 --> 00:13:29,760
If you're here to hurt Robby,
then you're here to hurt me.
365
00:13:29,796 --> 00:13:31,262
And if you hurt me,
366
00:13:31,330 --> 00:13:32,963
then I'm gonna hurt Robby.
367
00:13:32,999 --> 00:13:34,716
Wait a minute. No. If you're here...
368
00:13:34,748 --> 00:13:37,216
If you don't get out of your room,
369
00:13:37,327 --> 00:13:39,710
I'm gonna bleach all your bird shirts.
370
00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:42,473
- Robby, I got to go.
- That's a wise choice.
371
00:13:45,578 --> 00:13:48,813
Robby, I need you to
know that there is...
372
00:13:48,848 --> 00:13:52,890
nothing going on between me and Gavin,
373
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:55,930
except for an icy
awkwardness that will continue
374
00:13:55,955 --> 00:13:58,197
until one or both of us is dead.
375
00:13:58,236 --> 00:14:00,931
Oh, thank God.
376
00:14:00,962 --> 00:14:04,447
I mean, I was sitting here
thinking, really? Schmidt's dad.
377
00:14:04,472 --> 00:14:06,213
I know. That'd be crazy, right?
378
00:14:06,238 --> 00:14:07,312
Although I totally get it.
379
00:14:07,337 --> 00:14:09,469
I mean... he's got that rakish charm.
380
00:14:09,494 --> 00:14:11,211
And that voice. Oh, my God.
381
00:14:11,246 --> 00:14:14,072
- Great buns and...
- Robby, stop. There's more.
382
00:14:14,189 --> 00:14:16,207
Oh, boy.
383
00:14:16,859 --> 00:14:18,358
I think I know where this is going.
384
00:14:18,678 --> 00:14:19,977
Let me guess.
385
00:14:20,345 --> 00:14:23,013
You see me as more of a friend.
386
00:14:23,049 --> 00:14:26,517
Well, I didn't want to talk
about it on Thanksgiving.
387
00:14:26,775 --> 00:14:28,830
But you brought the tickets and...
388
00:14:28,855 --> 00:14:30,488
Jess, it's okay. I get it.
389
00:14:30,577 --> 00:14:32,501
You know, there has to be that, um...
390
00:14:32,673 --> 00:14:34,984
- Oomph?
- Yeah. I was gonna say "yowza,"
391
00:14:35,009 --> 00:14:38,596
but, uh, oomph. You can't
force the oomph, you know?
392
00:14:38,631 --> 00:14:42,158
I'll take my mom to Phoenix.
She's nuts about Phoenix.
393
00:14:46,165 --> 00:14:47,781
Well, congrats, Dad!
394
00:14:47,806 --> 00:14:50,508
Holiday's over! You ruined
another Thanksgiving!
395
00:14:50,533 --> 00:14:53,219
I can't believe that
you're seeing six women.
396
00:14:53,244 --> 00:14:54,845
- What's going on?
- How do you run a vineyard?
397
00:14:54,881 --> 00:14:56,680
Not well. I'm seeing six women.
398
00:14:56,716 --> 00:14:58,140
He tried to make it seven.
399
00:14:58,165 --> 00:14:59,383
I caught him making a move on Jess.
400
00:14:59,418 --> 00:15:02,152
Again? Why is my father so sexual?
401
00:15:02,188 --> 00:15:04,221
- Why is he asking Chicago?
- Good question.
402
00:15:04,257 --> 00:15:05,883
You know what, Gavin, if
this is who you really are,
403
00:15:05,908 --> 00:15:07,453
then you can forget about Thanksgiving
404
00:15:07,478 --> 00:15:09,586
and all the holidays
and all the non-holidays.
405
00:15:09,611 --> 00:15:11,028
Pretty much what I'm
talking about is every day.
406
00:15:11,063 --> 00:15:14,220
Hey, hey, hey, guys, let's
remember the reason for the season.
407
00:15:14,245 --> 00:15:15,265
We're all very thankful.
408
00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:16,703
Jess, I am so sorry.
409
00:15:16,728 --> 00:15:18,455
I had no idea you two were together.
410
00:15:18,499 --> 00:15:20,314
I thought you were
his physical therapist.
411
00:15:20,517 --> 00:15:21,672
Physical therapist?
412
00:15:21,697 --> 00:15:23,107
Aren't you a physical
therapist or something?
413
00:15:23,142 --> 00:15:27,290
You think she's a... Jess is
a top-notch vice principal.
414
00:15:29,431 --> 00:15:31,439
Oh, Robby...
415
00:15:31,751 --> 00:15:33,734
Robby, no. Don't stand.
416
00:15:33,759 --> 00:15:35,087
Your-your knee.
417
00:15:35,112 --> 00:15:37,656
I don't give a flying care about that.
418
00:15:37,681 --> 00:15:39,344
I stand up when I stand up for people.
419
00:15:39,369 --> 00:15:40,687
I think you're getting roid rage.
420
00:15:40,712 --> 00:15:41,805
I didn't take any steroids today,
421
00:15:41,830 --> 00:15:43,805
because the TSA took 'em this morning.
422
00:15:43,848 --> 00:15:47,253
Now, what you're seeing
is pure, unfiltered Robby,
423
00:15:47,278 --> 00:15:48,931
straight from the tap.
424
00:15:49,326 --> 00:15:50,407
Get him, Robby.
425
00:15:50,441 --> 00:15:51,648
You-you tried to make Jess
426
00:15:51,673 --> 00:15:53,078
the seventh woman you're dating,
427
00:15:53,103 --> 00:15:54,765
and you don't even know
the first thing about her.
428
00:15:54,790 --> 00:15:56,555
I mean, did-did you know
that when she was six
429
00:15:56,580 --> 00:15:57,821
she tried to eat a lightning bug
430
00:15:57,846 --> 00:16:00,101
so that her heart would glow like E.T.?
431
00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:02,797
Did you know that she tried
to give herself Lyme disease
432
00:16:02,822 --> 00:16:05,383
out of solidarity to her
fourth grade classmate?
433
00:16:05,408 --> 00:16:09,022
Or-or that she never lets any
of her electronics go below 25%,
434
00:16:09,057 --> 00:16:11,798
just in case someone
else needs to use them?
435
00:16:11,823 --> 00:16:13,367
I mean, did you know...
436
00:16:13,392 --> 00:16:17,126
did you know that she's terrified of
the large bubbles in the bubble wrap
437
00:16:17,151 --> 00:16:18,961
but she loves the little tiny ones?
438
00:16:18,986 --> 00:16:20,633
It's so cute, man.
439
00:16:20,660 --> 00:16:23,837
It would be one thing if you
actually had feelings for Jess...
440
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,164
- I'm... I'm...
- Oh!
441
00:16:25,189 --> 00:16:26,606
- Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Oh.
442
00:16:27,009 --> 00:16:28,942
Thank you. But you don't.
443
00:16:28,977 --> 00:16:31,056
Y-you're just desperate and lonely
444
00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:32,689
and you're trying to use her, and I...
445
00:16:32,714 --> 00:16:34,047
- Oh, it's happening again.
- Oh.
446
00:16:34,082 --> 00:16:35,982
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Oh, oh.
447
00:16:36,017 --> 00:16:37,072
Thank you.
448
00:16:37,604 --> 00:16:38,997
You can't use Jess,
449
00:16:39,022 --> 00:16:40,988
because she is a dream girl.
450
00:16:43,191 --> 00:16:45,925
Here's the last thing
I'll say before I leave.
451
00:16:46,259 --> 00:16:48,494
Jess, I know it's not me, but...
452
00:16:50,775 --> 00:16:54,267
you deserve somebody who
knows how special you are.
453
00:16:55,962 --> 00:16:57,537
Um, I'm going. I'm going.
454
00:16:57,572 --> 00:16:58,650
Don't go, Robby.
455
00:16:58,683 --> 00:17:00,095
I'm not going out. I'm-I'm going down!
456
00:17:02,277 --> 00:17:04,377
- Robby, no!
- Turkey! Turkey's down!
457
00:17:04,412 --> 00:17:05,664
- Robby! Robby!
- Turkey's down!
458
00:17:05,689 --> 00:17:07,001
Oh, God!
459
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,047
Relax!
460
00:17:08,072 --> 00:17:09,126
- Just...
- Okay. It still looks good!
461
00:17:09,151 --> 00:17:10,291
The turkey still looks good.
462
00:17:11,556 --> 00:17:13,603
- Wait, what are you...
- It is hot! My skin!
463
00:17:13,628 --> 00:17:15,251
- It's burning my skin!
- The hell you doing?!
464
00:17:15,276 --> 00:17:16,462
It was hot! It was hot!
465
00:17:16,487 --> 00:17:18,324
Now I got to eat a dirty
turkey! What's wrong with you?
466
00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:19,548
This is all my fault.
467
00:17:19,573 --> 00:17:20,820
- You know I throw hot things!
- I'm so sorry.
468
00:17:20,845 --> 00:17:22,392
- It was fine!
- Turkey's expensive!
469
00:17:22,417 --> 00:17:23,665
- Any more?
- This isn't on me!
470
00:17:23,690 --> 00:17:25,098
Furguson don't eat
turkey from the ground!
471
00:17:25,133 --> 00:17:27,101
Oh, no. I'm not taking
the fall for this one.
472
00:17:27,126 --> 00:17:28,568
- It's all on you!
- I'm not taking the...
473
00:17:28,603 --> 00:17:32,025
Hey! Can we not yell at
each other on Thanksgiving?!
474
00:17:33,251 --> 00:17:35,341
I recognize that I, too, am yelling.
475
00:17:35,377 --> 00:17:37,570
And I'm-I'm sorry, Robby.
476
00:17:37,595 --> 00:17:38,945
Wait.
477
00:17:42,965 --> 00:17:44,865
Great, he's gone.
478
00:17:45,587 --> 00:17:47,754
I was just starting to feel it.
479
00:17:47,789 --> 00:17:49,290
- Go.
- Yeah, Jess, go.
480
00:17:49,315 --> 00:17:50,748
- Go.
- Go!
481
00:17:50,925 --> 00:17:53,470
- Go after him.
- Save us some floor turkey.
482
00:17:58,879 --> 00:18:00,495
Hey.
483
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:04,139
Look, I know you had high hopes
for Thanksgiving with your dad.
484
00:18:04,174 --> 00:18:05,407
You called it.
485
00:18:05,442 --> 00:18:07,042
The guy is who he is.
486
00:18:07,077 --> 00:18:08,777
You know, maybe you just
need to drop this idea
487
00:18:08,812 --> 00:18:11,066
that he'll ever be the bigger man.
488
00:18:11,980 --> 00:18:13,723
I think that needs to be you, babe.
489
00:18:13,748 --> 00:18:15,675
You're the bigger man.
490
00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:22,657
Son, I know you're probably tired
of hearing both these statements
491
00:18:22,693 --> 00:18:24,993
and not likely to believe either, but...
492
00:18:25,356 --> 00:18:27,857
I'm leaving and I'm sorry.
493
00:18:32,288 --> 00:18:34,922
Dad, I said... I said
a lot of things earlier.
494
00:18:37,832 --> 00:18:40,739
I don't want you out of my life.
495
00:18:42,312 --> 00:18:44,697
I was waiting for you to
be someone who you're not,
496
00:18:44,722 --> 00:18:46,058
but...
497
00:18:46,356 --> 00:18:49,652
I know who you are and I still love you.
498
00:18:50,253 --> 00:18:52,387
But you-you need to listen to me,
499
00:18:52,422 --> 00:18:55,090
son to father, get a therapist.
500
00:18:55,125 --> 00:18:57,605
- Oh, I have a therapist.
- A better one.
501
00:18:57,682 --> 00:18:58,731
Okay.
502
00:18:58,756 --> 00:19:02,167
And I shouldn't have to say this but
one that you're not sleeping with.
503
00:19:05,050 --> 00:19:06,456
Okay.
504
00:19:06,481 --> 00:19:10,105
Wait! Robby! Robby, don't go.
505
00:19:10,140 --> 00:19:13,097
I tried to Irish good-bye, but,
uh, I'm moving a little slow.
506
00:19:13,122 --> 00:19:15,877
When you were in there and you
were saying all those things,
507
00:19:15,912 --> 00:19:18,079
I realize I don't even really know you.
508
00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:20,081
And I want to get to know you.
509
00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:23,238
Jess, it's okay. I-I don't want you
to force something that's not there.
510
00:19:23,345 --> 00:19:25,212
I felt it.
511
00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:29,290
You felt the oomph?
512
00:19:29,326 --> 00:19:31,126
Yes. I...
513
00:19:31,161 --> 00:19:33,461
I'm sorry I'm being so confusing.
514
00:19:33,497 --> 00:19:35,263
I-I think I'm as bad at Thanksgiving
515
00:19:35,298 --> 00:19:37,465
as I am at starting new relationships.
516
00:19:37,501 --> 00:19:39,401
- Yeah, you're pretty bad.
- Robby,
517
00:19:39,436 --> 00:19:42,745
will you go on another date with me?
518
00:19:44,508 --> 00:19:47,742
♪ Come on, baby, make
it hurt so good. ♪
519
00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:52,147
Hell yeah, I'll go on
another date with you.
520
00:19:52,182 --> 00:19:53,324
Hmm.
521
00:19:54,910 --> 00:19:57,174
I did already tell my
mom about Phoenix though.
522
00:19:57,199 --> 00:19:59,245
- I hope that's okay.
- Oh, of course.
523
00:19:59,270 --> 00:20:03,239
I apologize in advance for
the state of our main course.
524
00:20:07,564 --> 00:20:10,165
Dad, would you like to do the honors?
525
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,500
I think the man of the house
traditionally does that.
526
00:20:13,737 --> 00:20:14,785
Aw.
527
00:20:16,777 --> 00:20:18,580
I'm the m... I'm the man of the house.
528
00:20:18,605 --> 00:20:19,720
Would you look at that?
529
00:20:19,745 --> 00:20:21,244
Oh, it's Reagan.
530
00:20:21,269 --> 00:20:23,697
Oh, whoa. You know, I've
always wanted to do this.
531
00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:25,291
Uh, read out loud.
532
00:20:25,316 --> 00:20:27,482
In Omaha. Heart emoji.
533
00:20:27,517 --> 00:20:29,551
Smiling pile of poo emoji.
534
00:20:29,586 --> 00:20:33,321
I want my tongue emoji
on your monkey emoji.
535
00:20:33,356 --> 00:20:35,323
Eh, come on, that's a little
private. S-Sorry about that.
536
00:20:35,358 --> 00:20:36,691
She wants to tongue your monkey?
537
00:20:36,726 --> 00:20:37,792
What's your monkey?
538
00:20:37,828 --> 00:20:38,893
Smiling pile of poo?
539
00:20:38,929 --> 00:20:40,205
Oh, my God,
540
00:20:40,230 --> 00:20:42,363
Schmidt and Cece will be
in a new home next year.
541
00:20:42,388 --> 00:20:43,678
Next year it's at our place.
542
00:20:43,703 --> 00:20:46,439
Happy last loft Thanksgiving, everyone.
543
00:20:48,738 --> 00:20:50,314
They weren't always perfect,
544
00:20:50,339 --> 00:20:51,806
but they were memorable.
545
00:20:51,842 --> 00:20:53,105
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
546
00:20:53,130 --> 00:20:54,314
- Hey.
- Hey.
547
00:20:54,339 --> 00:20:56,191
Mmm. Remember when you
fell down that hole?
548
00:20:56,216 --> 00:20:58,713
Oh, and Schmidt cooked the meal
in our dead neighbor's kitchen.
549
00:20:58,748 --> 00:21:00,815
- Ms. Beverly.
- Mmm!
550
00:21:00,851 --> 00:21:02,383
Remember when we had sex with strangers?
551
00:21:02,419 --> 00:21:04,597
That's a misrepresentation
of what happened.
552
00:21:04,622 --> 00:21:06,988
Remember when your parents
made it in the bathroom?
553
00:21:07,089 --> 00:21:09,991
Or last Thanksgiving, when we
all accidentally took peyote
554
00:21:10,026 --> 00:21:12,301
and, Winston, you wouldn't
let us break the wishbone.
555
00:21:12,326 --> 00:21:14,903
- Break the bone, lose the wish.
- That's not true!
556
00:21:14,928 --> 00:21:16,865
- That's not how it works.
- That is not how it works.
557
00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:18,067
Here's to Thanksgiving, everybody.
558
00:21:19,708 --> 00:21:22,739
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com