1
00:00:01,931 --> 00:00:03,531
- Whoa! Whoa!
- Yes!
2
00:00:03,591 --> 00:00:06,308
Marcia Clark cleaned that party out.
3
00:00:06,333 --> 00:00:08,218
I can't believe nobody got our costumes.
4
00:00:08,243 --> 00:00:09,535
I know. I'm not Shapiro.
5
00:00:09,604 --> 00:00:12,805
I'm very clearly
Travolta playing Shapiro.
6
00:00:12,873 --> 00:00:14,239
Where-where is the...
Where did the Juice go?
7
00:00:14,308 --> 00:00:15,274
Is he back on the freeway?
8
00:00:15,299 --> 00:00:18,538
Three, two, one. Midnight, November 1.
9
00:00:18,563 --> 00:00:20,346
Merry Christmas season.
10
00:00:20,992 --> 00:00:22,288
- Mm.
- Okay.
11
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:24,093
Uh, Jess,
12
00:00:24,118 --> 00:00:25,751
Winston has something he
would like to tell you.
13
00:00:25,820 --> 00:00:26,819
- Oh!
- Go ahead, Winston.
14
00:00:26,887 --> 00:00:28,320
What? Oh, yeah, yeah, from...
15
00:00:28,389 --> 00:00:31,023
We did rock-paper-scissors. Okay.
16
00:00:31,092 --> 00:00:32,163
Well, you know,
17
00:00:32,188 --> 00:00:33,325
well, we were all thinking,
18
00:00:33,394 --> 00:00:35,243
and we were all on the same page.
19
00:00:36,300 --> 00:00:37,788
We were thinking that...
20
00:00:37,813 --> 00:00:41,117
maybe we don't do Christmas this year.
21
00:00:44,715 --> 00:00:48,953
You know, that would be
a great seminar topic...
22
00:00:48,978 --> 00:00:51,520
in a school for demons!
23
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,187
- Backup. I need backup. Your turn.
- Well, Jess,
24
00:00:53,212 --> 00:00:54,890
Christmas is just so stressful...
25
00:00:54,915 --> 00:00:56,875
with the lists and the lines
26
00:00:56,900 --> 00:00:59,897
and-and the dancing girls
at TV Town Song Room.
27
00:00:59,922 --> 00:01:01,487
TV Town Song Room?
28
00:01:01,555 --> 00:01:03,612
- Do you mean Radio City Music Hall?
- Yeah.
29
00:01:03,637 --> 00:01:05,632
How could you get so many
things wrong in a row?
30
00:01:05,657 --> 00:01:07,026
At Radio City Music's Hall.
31
00:01:07,094 --> 00:01:08,807
What is going on here?
32
00:01:08,832 --> 00:01:10,606
Christmas isn't stressful.
33
00:01:10,631 --> 00:01:11,348
- Babe.
- Babe.
34
00:01:11,373 --> 00:01:12,931
You get more stressed out by Christmas
35
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,723
than anyone I know.
36
00:01:15,067 --> 00:01:18,168
The spirit of Christmas.
37
00:01:21,512 --> 00:01:23,379
Son of a whore!
38
00:01:23,447 --> 00:01:25,247
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
39
00:01:25,316 --> 00:01:28,350
In my defense, I hadn't
slept for six days.
40
00:01:28,419 --> 00:01:29,637
But I do see your point.
41
00:01:29,662 --> 00:01:30,777
- Okay. Great.
- Hmm.
42
00:01:30,802 --> 00:01:32,702
So it's official. Christmas is canceled.
43
00:01:32,727 --> 00:01:34,801
No, Christmas is not canceled.
44
00:01:34,826 --> 00:01:37,473
Christmas gifts are how
you show the people you love
45
00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:39,495
that you care in a very special, magical
46
00:01:39,564 --> 00:01:41,270
and highly mandatory way.
47
00:01:41,294 --> 00:01:43,855
You want me to shop until I
drop, and I don't want to drop.
48
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:47,582
How about this? One
special gift, one person,
49
00:01:47,650 --> 00:01:49,348
and a guessing game at the end.
50
00:01:49,373 --> 00:01:50,684
Secret Santa!
51
00:01:50,709 --> 00:01:52,449
One moment, please.
52
00:01:54,342 --> 00:01:56,723
It's the perfect compromise. Come on.
53
00:02:00,698 --> 00:02:01,753
- General agreement.
- General agreement.
54
00:02:01,778 --> 00:02:02,777
- Sure.
- We can do it.
55
00:02:02,808 --> 00:02:05,075
Yes! It's a deal. Okay.
56
00:02:06,662 --> 00:02:07,785
- Whoa.
- Oh.
57
00:02:07,810 --> 00:02:09,051
It's just me.
58
00:02:09,076 --> 00:02:10,457
I'm feeling really good.
59
00:02:11,848 --> 00:02:14,418
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com
60
00:02:14,575 --> 00:02:15,934
_
61
00:02:16,512 --> 00:02:18,956
Merry Christmas Eve Eve, everybody!
62
00:02:18,981 --> 00:02:21,223
Secret Santa starts
tonight at 6:00 P.M.,
63
00:02:21,248 --> 00:02:23,190
AKA 7:00 P.M. eve.
64
00:02:23,215 --> 00:02:25,481
- Snacks will be potluck.
- I call baba ghanoush.
65
00:02:25,506 --> 00:02:26,955
It brings back such good memories.
66
00:02:27,024 --> 00:02:29,854
My dad waking me up with hot cocoa,
67
00:02:29,879 --> 00:02:32,894
my dog Frank dressed up as Rudolph,
68
00:02:32,963 --> 00:02:35,998
looking out the window,
watching for snow,
69
00:02:36,066 --> 00:02:37,737
dancing around the Christmas tree
70
00:02:37,762 --> 00:02:39,770
to the sweet sounds of Darlene Love's
71
00:02:39,795 --> 00:02:41,160
"Christmas."
72
00:02:41,185 --> 00:02:42,527
Darlene what now?
73
00:02:42,559 --> 00:02:44,660
♪ The snow's coming down ♪
74
00:02:44,685 --> 00:02:45,770
Love me some Darlene.
75
00:02:45,795 --> 00:02:48,731
♪ I'm watching it fall ♪
76
00:02:48,756 --> 00:02:49,887
What am I watching now?
77
00:02:49,912 --> 00:02:51,630
Two kilos of uncut joy.
78
00:02:51,655 --> 00:02:52,636
Little reminder...
79
00:02:52,661 --> 00:02:55,231
uh, tonight is for
Secret Santa gifts only.
80
00:02:55,256 --> 00:02:57,377
So, married people,
81
00:02:57,402 --> 00:02:59,387
please exchange your
gifts at another time.
82
00:02:59,412 --> 00:03:00,451
Oh, don't worry. Schmidt and I
83
00:03:00,476 --> 00:03:01,598
aren't getting each
other gifts this year.
84
00:03:01,623 --> 00:03:03,051
- Uh-uh.
- Is that 'cause of the Jew thing?
85
00:03:03,076 --> 00:03:04,315
Jew thing?
86
00:03:04,361 --> 00:03:07,285
That's just a phrase that falls
out of your mouth these days.
87
00:03:08,559 --> 00:03:10,073
Oh, sorry.
88
00:03:10,098 --> 00:03:12,613
I-I took the last Jew thing.
89
00:03:13,470 --> 00:03:15,704
This will be the only gift that
Cece is getting this Christmas,
90
00:03:15,773 --> 00:03:18,473
so whoever has her, please step it up.
91
00:03:18,542 --> 00:03:20,675
Right, and the same goes for my man.
92
00:03:20,744 --> 00:03:22,442
Just because he doesn't
believe in the Lord,
93
00:03:22,467 --> 00:03:25,713
doesn't mean he can't have
cake at the birthday party.
94
00:03:25,738 --> 00:03:28,348
So, whoever has him better bring it...
95
00:03:28,373 --> 00:03:31,553
because I know I got
the perfect gift for...
96
00:03:31,622 --> 00:03:32,754
Up-bup-bup-bup!
97
00:03:32,823 --> 00:03:34,356
Secret Santa.
98
00:03:34,425 --> 00:03:35,567
Also, to that point,
99
00:03:35,592 --> 00:03:37,626
we're all in danger
of revealing ourselves
100
00:03:37,694 --> 00:03:40,113
through little clues such as...
101
00:03:40,926 --> 00:03:42,457
cave man wrapping skills.
102
00:03:42,482 --> 00:03:44,610
I got mozzarella sticks for fingers.
103
00:03:44,635 --> 00:03:46,082
You're making this very stressful, Jess.
104
00:03:46,107 --> 00:03:48,934
No, it's not, because we
have a Secret Santa helper,
105
00:03:48,959 --> 00:03:50,621
and his name is...
106
00:03:50,668 --> 00:03:51,520
- Robby!
- Whoa!
107
00:03:51,545 --> 00:03:52,298
- Oh.
- Oh.
108
00:03:52,342 --> 00:03:53,371
How long you been out there, man?
109
00:03:53,396 --> 00:03:55,377
Eh, long enough to make it weird.
110
00:03:55,446 --> 00:03:56,745
But I could hear
everything, though, so...
111
00:03:56,814 --> 00:03:58,680
- Sorry about the wait.
- Oh, it's okay.
112
00:03:58,749 --> 00:04:00,777
I slept in a little bit.
113
00:04:00,802 --> 00:04:03,085
Robby is going to wrap
and label all of your gifts
114
00:04:03,153 --> 00:04:04,521
to ensure anonymity.
115
00:04:04,546 --> 00:04:05,685
I'm just gonna go wait in Jess' room.
116
00:04:05,710 --> 00:04:06,951
I look forward to working with you all.
117
00:04:06,975 --> 00:04:08,449
Oh, I got to get back to work.
118
00:04:08,474 --> 00:04:10,856
I told the entire staff
they can have three days off
119
00:04:10,881 --> 00:04:13,451
'cause Christmas is
usually dead at the bar.
120
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:15,482
So, it's just gonna
be me and the receipts.
121
00:04:15,541 --> 00:04:16,842
You haven't done those yet?
122
00:04:16,867 --> 00:04:18,379
Nick, our accountant needs them today.
123
00:04:18,404 --> 00:04:19,779
I know. It's the do date,
124
00:04:19,804 --> 00:04:21,459
So, I'm going to do them today.
125
00:04:21,484 --> 00:04:22,888
D-U-E, Nicholas.
126
00:04:22,913 --> 00:04:25,381
D-O-I-N-G-I-N-G.
127
00:04:25,406 --> 00:04:27,082
Doing. The doing date.
128
00:04:27,107 --> 00:04:30,053
And if you think about it, D-O-I-N-G
129
00:04:30,078 --> 00:04:31,715
shouldn't be doing.
130
00:04:31,740 --> 00:04:33,099
It should be freaking "doyng."
131
00:04:35,094 --> 00:04:36,127
Nick, you got 'em?!
132
00:04:36,171 --> 00:04:38,896
You look like you should be
paying child support in Florida.
133
00:04:43,042 --> 00:04:44,576
I get Nick the perfect gift,
134
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:46,310
and then he goes and
buys it for himself.
135
00:04:46,342 --> 00:04:47,607
What am I supposed to get him now?
136
00:04:47,623 --> 00:04:49,310
You could get Nick
some tap shoes, right?
137
00:04:49,335 --> 00:04:50,754
They do make walking fun.
138
00:04:50,779 --> 00:04:53,277
I told you that about
tap shoes, you tree.
139
00:04:53,302 --> 00:04:54,628
Now think, Jessica.
140
00:04:54,697 --> 00:04:57,154
You're the greatest
gift-giver of all time.
141
00:04:58,052 --> 00:04:59,262
I've got it.
142
00:04:59,287 --> 00:05:01,035
Whatever it is, I got it covered.
143
00:05:01,103 --> 00:05:04,584
Oh, no, Robby. What I'm
giving him cannot be wrapped.
144
00:05:04,609 --> 00:05:06,381
Is it a memory?
145
00:05:06,715 --> 00:05:08,068
- No.
- Ah.
146
00:05:09,186 --> 00:05:10,693
- A house?
- No.
147
00:05:14,224 --> 00:05:15,224
Damn it, man.
148
00:05:16,061 --> 00:05:17,061
False alarm.
149
00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:19,186
I thought that was the mailman
with my Secret Santa gift.
150
00:05:19,210 --> 00:05:20,442
Yes, I know, Winston.
151
00:05:20,467 --> 00:05:22,232
You've run in here at least six times.
152
00:05:22,257 --> 00:05:24,475
You know, now you can
just track the package.
153
00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:26,240
- I can?
- Yes.
154
00:05:26,265 --> 00:05:30,764
Let's see. KXHD136.
155
00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:32,872
You memorized the
package tracking number,
156
00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:35,577
but you didn't know that you could
use that number to track the package?
157
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:37,040
What?!
158
00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:40,353
9:18 A.M. refused delivery?
159
00:05:40,421 --> 00:05:42,255
Did you refuse a package
160
00:05:42,323 --> 00:05:44,982
to Retired Rear Admiral
Jay Garage-A-Roo?
161
00:05:45,007 --> 00:05:47,619
Listen to what you just
asked. Of course I did.
162
00:05:47,956 --> 00:05:49,381
Damn it!
163
00:05:49,406 --> 00:05:51,164
Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
164
00:05:51,189 --> 00:05:52,459
Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
165
00:05:52,484 --> 00:05:53,951
Damn it, Schmidt!
166
00:05:53,976 --> 00:05:56,981
I am Retired Rear
Admiral Jay Garage-A-Roo!
167
00:05:57,006 --> 00:05:58,427
It is my secret Santa alias.
168
00:05:58,443 --> 00:05:59,372
- Oh.
- Yeah.
169
00:05:59,407 --> 00:06:01,770
Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn
it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
170
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:03,474
I don't have a gift for tonight now.
171
00:06:03,499 --> 00:06:04,794
Well, this is not my problem, Winston.
172
00:06:04,819 --> 00:06:06,560
Oh, no, it is your problem.
173
00:06:06,585 --> 00:06:07,684
Oh, you had me?
174
00:06:07,709 --> 00:06:10,895
I did not have Jess, I did not
have Nick, I do not have you.
175
00:06:11,794 --> 00:06:16,052
It's fairly obvious who I do have.
176
00:06:18,793 --> 00:06:20,856
I figured it out. You have Cece.
177
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:21,927
- Oh.
- My Cece.
178
00:06:21,952 --> 00:06:23,059
My Cece can't go gift-less.
179
00:06:23,084 --> 00:06:24,981
I like to think of her as our Cece.
180
00:06:25,006 --> 00:06:26,622
You screwed the pooch
on this one, Winston.
181
00:06:26,669 --> 00:06:28,036
Me? I didn't screw the pooch.
182
00:06:28,061 --> 00:06:29,622
- Yes, you did.
- You didn't sign for it!
183
00:06:29,647 --> 00:06:32,171
How was I supposed to sign
for Garage-A-Roo's package?
184
00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:33,927
You and your dang old aliases.
185
00:06:33,952 --> 00:06:35,638
You have a new alias every day, Winston.
186
00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:37,636
- Yes, but you should know it's me!
- Garage-A-Roo, Kenneth.
187
00:06:37,661 --> 00:06:40,013
But it was me clearly! Kenneth, Kenneth.
188
00:06:40,038 --> 00:06:42,552
Rick Smits, Big Poppy Jones.
189
00:06:42,577 --> 00:06:44,317
These are the dumbest
names I've ever heard!
190
00:06:44,342 --> 00:06:46,777
- Pontius Pilate.
- AKA idiot.
191
00:06:46,802 --> 00:06:48,254
Maybe that truck is
still in the neighborhood.
192
00:06:48,323 --> 00:06:49,958
- Let's go out and try and get it.
- Wait!
193
00:06:49,983 --> 00:06:54,552
This just became a Schmidt and
a Jay Garage-A-Roo mess-around.
194
00:06:54,577 --> 00:06:56,263
Freakin' Jay Garage-A-Roo.
195
00:06:56,288 --> 00:06:58,989
So I fly you down. You
are my gift to Nick.
196
00:06:59,014 --> 00:07:00,144
What do you say?
197
00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:01,363
I don't know, Jess.
198
00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:03,309
I mean, I have a really
big pitch tomorrow.
199
00:07:03,334 --> 00:07:04,630
It's a treatment for...
200
00:07:04,655 --> 00:07:08,184
I mean, the polite term is
"gravelly bowel syndrome."
201
00:07:08,209 --> 00:07:10,186
So fly down for one night.
202
00:07:10,211 --> 00:07:13,036
What could be more romantic or magical?
203
00:07:13,061 --> 00:07:14,857
I will orchestrate the whole surprise.
204
00:07:14,882 --> 00:07:15,911
Lighting, blocking,
205
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:16,974
- costumes...
- Okay, you know what?
206
00:07:16,999 --> 00:07:19,253
- I... I'm in.
- You are?
207
00:07:19,278 --> 00:07:21,058
I thought I was gonna have
to give you the hard sell.
208
00:07:21,083 --> 00:07:23,028
That's part of the
reason why I'm in. But...
209
00:07:23,053 --> 00:07:25,130
also, I haven't seen
Nick in a couple weeks,
210
00:07:25,155 --> 00:07:26,559
and I really miss his nonsense.
211
00:07:26,584 --> 00:07:28,380
And that ass... am I right?
212
00:07:28,405 --> 00:07:29,538
She's in!
213
00:07:29,563 --> 00:07:30,729
Whoo!
214
00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:33,021
Pope Francis, we have a miracle worker.
215
00:07:33,046 --> 00:07:36,114
The only thing left to do is...
216
00:07:37,372 --> 00:07:38,700
Hey, Nick.
217
00:07:38,725 --> 00:07:41,374
I, um, just am doing a little laundry.
218
00:07:41,442 --> 00:07:44,143
I got just enough room
for your bedsheets.
219
00:07:44,212 --> 00:07:45,513
May I do the honors?
220
00:07:45,538 --> 00:07:47,669
But don't touch them...
they're exactly how I like them.
221
00:07:47,694 --> 00:07:50,966
But I'm really glad you called.
The bar is an absolute zoo.
222
00:07:50,991 --> 00:07:52,599
I haven't even gotten
to the receipts yet.
223
00:07:52,624 --> 00:07:53,669
Wait-wait, what?
224
00:07:53,694 --> 00:07:54,732
The point is, I'm swamped,
225
00:07:54,757 --> 00:07:56,459
and I'm not gonna make
it for Secret Santa.
226
00:07:56,484 --> 00:07:57,583
- What?
- I'm sorry.
227
00:07:57,608 --> 00:07:59,069
I'm just not gonna make it.
228
00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:01,317
Jess, Nick is still
gonna enjoy seeing Reagan,
229
00:08:01,342 --> 00:08:03,903
even if it means she's just gonna
hang out with him at the bar.
230
00:08:03,928 --> 00:08:05,684
- Yeah, it's the thought that counts.
- Yeah.
231
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:07,733
If you're in the lump of coal business!
232
00:08:07,793 --> 00:08:09,303
I have to go help Nick...
233
00:08:09,328 --> 00:08:11,303
so he can be here for the surprise.
234
00:08:11,328 --> 00:08:12,779
Did you get... No,
you don't have a drink.
235
00:08:12,804 --> 00:08:13,906
- You got hot chocolate?
- What do you want, a beer?
236
00:08:13,975 --> 00:08:15,746
I'll get you in a second there, buddy.
237
00:08:15,771 --> 00:08:17,209
Weirdly, this is not the first time
238
00:08:17,278 --> 00:08:18,744
Nick has failed to mention elves
239
00:08:18,820 --> 00:08:20,505
in a crisis situation.
240
00:08:21,154 --> 00:08:23,716
This is way worse than you said.
241
00:08:23,785 --> 00:08:26,115
I'm out of here...
it's my day off, and...
242
00:08:26,216 --> 00:08:27,544
you know what, actually, I
don't need more than that.
243
00:08:27,569 --> 00:08:29,255
Wait, wait, no. Cece, I need your help.
244
00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:30,379
I need your help.
245
00:08:30,404 --> 00:08:32,438
We have to get Nick
home for Secret Santa.
246
00:08:32,486 --> 00:08:34,453
Ooh, you have him.
247
00:08:34,490 --> 00:08:36,513
Yes, I got Nick. I got Nick.
248
00:08:36,538 --> 00:08:38,029
Reagan's flying out from Seattle.
249
00:08:38,054 --> 00:08:39,514
Oh...
250
00:08:39,865 --> 00:08:41,879
And we're double-teaming him.
251
00:08:41,911 --> 00:08:43,677
Okay, listen to me very carefully, okay?
252
00:08:43,702 --> 00:08:45,805
You mean "tag-teaming."
253
00:08:45,830 --> 00:08:47,472
This is the exact same
thing that happened
254
00:08:47,497 --> 00:08:49,442
when you handed that
checkout guy coupons,
255
00:08:49,510 --> 00:08:51,341
and said that we'd
been scissoring all day.
256
00:08:51,366 --> 00:08:54,447
Oh. He helped us with our
bags. He was such a gentleman.
257
00:08:54,927 --> 00:08:56,326
No, he was not.
258
00:08:56,351 --> 00:08:57,943
Hey, what are you two doing here?
259
00:08:57,968 --> 00:08:59,303
What are all these elves doing here?
260
00:08:59,328 --> 00:09:01,077
They just got off a shift at the mall.
261
00:09:01,122 --> 00:09:04,156
You know, I've been thinking,
since they're all regular size,
262
00:09:04,217 --> 00:09:06,256
my theory is it's a mall for giants.
263
00:09:06,289 --> 00:09:08,505
Let us help. We'll man the
bar. You can hit the receipts.
264
00:09:08,530 --> 00:09:09,545
Ah, it'll be fine.
265
00:09:09,570 --> 00:09:11,935
Someone just has to give my
Secret Santa gift. It's for...
266
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:14,060
No! Sorry.
267
00:09:14,602 --> 00:09:16,755
Look, I know you don't
love Secret Santa, but...
268
00:09:16,780 --> 00:09:19,105
don't be alone on Christmas Eve Eve.
269
00:09:19,173 --> 00:09:21,083
Be with the people you love.
270
00:09:23,107 --> 00:09:24,568
All right, you're right.
271
00:09:24,807 --> 00:09:26,208
I'll take the help.
272
00:09:26,458 --> 00:09:28,675
Uh, time for the receipts, I guess.
273
00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:30,400
Let me go grab my calculator.
274
00:09:32,887 --> 00:09:35,018
We have a lot of work to do.
275
00:09:35,887 --> 00:09:38,788
One, two, three, four...
276
00:09:40,404 --> 00:09:42,528
- Whoa! Whoa.
- Excuse me, uh,
277
00:09:42,597 --> 00:09:44,830
Deb, we need to check your trunk...
we're looking for a package.
278
00:09:44,899 --> 00:09:48,267
It is addressed to Retired
Rear Admiral Jay Garage-A-Roo.
279
00:09:48,336 --> 00:09:49,560
What a stupid name.
280
00:09:49,585 --> 00:09:51,388
Tell it to your stupid wife,
man... it's one of our inside jokes.
281
00:09:51,413 --> 00:09:53,060
You two don't have inside jokes.
282
00:09:53,085 --> 00:09:55,490
Man, we got loads of inside jokes!
283
00:09:55,515 --> 00:09:58,208
My turtleneck, uh, my trick hip,
284
00:09:58,233 --> 00:10:00,333
that "Hok-fooey, Jean Luc!"
285
00:10:00,358 --> 00:10:01,658
Get off my truck.
286
00:10:01,683 --> 00:10:04,785
Please, it is Christmas Eve... Eve.
287
00:10:04,810 --> 00:10:06,193
- That's right.
- Yes.
288
00:10:06,218 --> 00:10:08,765
That's my night. So go home,
289
00:10:08,790 --> 00:10:10,560
and wait for your package.
290
00:10:10,585 --> 00:10:11,756
All right, fine.
291
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:13,359
Okay, whatever.
292
00:10:14,965 --> 00:10:16,769
You know what, Deb,
that's where you're wrong.
293
00:10:16,831 --> 00:10:19,677
There was a time when we
didn't need people like you.
294
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,615
There was a time where a
man could go into a place,
295
00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:24,236
buy a thing and leave with that thing.
296
00:10:24,305 --> 00:10:25,951
And you weren't involved at all.
297
00:10:25,976 --> 00:10:27,607
You lost me, Schmidt.
What are you talking about?
298
00:10:27,632 --> 00:10:30,230
- Stores, Winston!
- Oh, stores!
299
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:32,021
- I remember those.
- Stores?
300
00:10:32,046 --> 00:10:34,505
What are you gonna do? Pay sales tax?
301
00:10:34,530 --> 00:10:35,560
Park?
302
00:10:37,343 --> 00:10:38,943
- Stores!
- Oh!
303
00:10:39,253 --> 00:10:40,853
Brick and mortar, baby!
304
00:10:40,878 --> 00:10:42,826
I know that she loves me,
305
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,701
so why won't she touch me?
306
00:10:44,726 --> 00:10:47,254
Larry, you've got to go home, okay?
307
00:10:47,279 --> 00:10:48,755
Why isn't Nick gone?
308
00:10:48,780 --> 00:10:50,247
It's been four hours.
309
00:10:50,272 --> 00:10:52,568
Reagan's on a plane,
Secret Santa's in an hour,
310
00:10:52,593 --> 00:10:53,792
I'm freaking out...
311
00:10:53,817 --> 00:10:55,888
Well, you can call me Ice Cube.
312
00:10:56,820 --> 00:10:58,320
Because I'm done wrapping.
313
00:10:58,345 --> 00:10:59,771
That is how you won me over.
314
00:10:59,796 --> 00:11:02,082
Look, the missing piece
of the puzzle is Nick.
315
00:11:02,107 --> 00:11:03,529
I'm gonna go check in.
316
00:11:03,701 --> 00:11:05,318
One hour till Secret Santa!
317
00:11:05,343 --> 00:11:06,378
Great.
318
00:11:06,403 --> 00:11:07,833
You ever done any Santa work
319
00:11:07,858 --> 00:11:09,958
at the Chatsworth Penney's?
320
00:11:11,146 --> 00:11:12,724
- Larry?
- Robby!
321
00:11:16,734 --> 00:11:17,654
Come in.
322
00:11:17,679 --> 00:11:19,982
A little North Pole knock-knock.
323
00:11:20,007 --> 00:11:21,060
- I finished.
- Oh.
324
00:11:21,085 --> 00:11:23,191
Thank you, Jess. And
thank you for what you said
325
00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:25,272
about being with the people
you care about on Christmas.
326
00:11:25,297 --> 00:11:27,030
Oh, you're welcome. I-I meant it.
327
00:11:27,055 --> 00:11:29,475
And that is why I bought a ticket...
328
00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:32,381
to go to Seattle to
be with Reagan tonight.
329
00:11:32,406 --> 00:11:34,670
Oh... Fa...
330
00:11:34,687 --> 00:11:37,342
♪ La-la, la-la, la-la, la-la. ♪
331
00:11:40,984 --> 00:11:42,317
All right. How do I surprise Reagan.
332
00:11:42,342 --> 00:11:43,708
Here's what I'm thinking.
333
00:11:43,732 --> 00:11:45,205
I'm thinking I go dressed as a fireman,
334
00:11:45,230 --> 00:11:46,245
I knock on the door,
335
00:11:46,293 --> 00:11:48,019
I reveal myself to be a stripper,
336
00:11:48,044 --> 00:11:49,944
and then I reveal myself to be Nick.
337
00:11:49,969 --> 00:11:51,769
How does that even... uh...
338
00:11:52,105 --> 00:11:53,948
Are you sure you want to go to Seattle?
339
00:11:53,973 --> 00:11:55,730
I mean, it's Seattle. Ew.
340
00:11:55,755 --> 00:11:58,455
I mean, it was... it was
basically your idea, right?
341
00:11:58,480 --> 00:11:59,878
Why don't we just get you home to...
342
00:11:59,903 --> 00:12:00,903
I got no time.
343
00:12:00,980 --> 00:12:02,745
I'm on a no-fly list, so
I need to leave right now.
344
00:12:02,770 --> 00:12:04,003
Checking in is very difficult.
345
00:12:04,028 --> 00:12:06,408
Why not just take that name literally,
346
00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:07,487
and you no fly?
347
00:12:07,512 --> 00:12:09,683
- Off to Seattle.
- Wait, Nick! No! No!
348
00:12:09,708 --> 00:12:12,632
I can't let you go! Your
hair looks so stupid!
349
00:12:12,657 --> 00:12:14,355
- What?
- You look like a total dork.
350
00:12:14,380 --> 00:12:16,120
My hair looks stupid, I
look like a total dork?
351
00:12:16,145 --> 00:12:17,815
We can't let TSA see you like this.
352
00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:19,284
But I've had this haircut
for a little bit now.
353
00:12:19,368 --> 00:12:20,808
- I know.
- You let me go to work, though?
354
00:12:20,833 --> 00:12:22,942
It just looks particularly
bad right this minute.
355
00:12:22,967 --> 00:12:24,020
Then I'll just go like this.
356
00:12:24,045 --> 00:12:26,512
- How about now?
- No. Mm-mm. Didn't fix it.
357
00:12:29,903 --> 00:12:32,353
I get the impression you
don't want me to go to Seattle.
358
00:12:32,389 --> 00:12:35,567
That's because I don't
want you to go to Seattle.
359
00:12:35,592 --> 00:12:37,950
- Well, why not?
- I can't tell you.
360
00:12:38,052 --> 00:12:39,537
I mean, I-is this about Reagan?
361
00:12:39,562 --> 00:12:40,728
Do you not like her?
362
00:12:40,764 --> 00:12:41,989
No, I like Reagan...
363
00:12:42,014 --> 00:12:44,698
she looks like the front
of a ship come alive. Heh.
364
00:12:44,723 --> 00:12:46,800
Is that why you've been acting so weird?
365
00:12:46,825 --> 00:12:48,778
I haven't been acting weird.
366
00:12:48,803 --> 00:12:50,972
You've been weird since the
day I got back from New Orleans.
367
00:12:51,007 --> 00:12:52,872
You're acting really squirrelly.
368
00:12:53,770 --> 00:12:55,825
You don't think I've
noticed, but I've noticed.
369
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,598
Okay, you're way off base.
370
00:12:57,639 --> 00:12:59,128
I mean, what is it?
I took your advice...
371
00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:01,864
I'm gonna be with somebody who I
find really special on Christmas.
372
00:13:01,889 --> 00:13:02,981
- Nick...
- But, surprise,
373
00:13:03,006 --> 00:13:04,152
I've still done something wrong.
374
00:13:04,187 --> 00:13:05,825
Don't go to Seattle. Trust me.
375
00:13:05,850 --> 00:13:08,823
Why is nothing I do
ever good enough for you?
376
00:13:08,865 --> 00:13:10,513
What do you want from me?
377
00:13:10,538 --> 00:13:13,034
I'm doing everything I can here!
378
00:13:13,059 --> 00:13:16,898
Nick, I'm flying Reagan out
from Seattle to surprise you.
379
00:13:16,933 --> 00:13:19,708
I'm your Secret Santa, you jerk.
380
00:13:22,442 --> 00:13:25,873
So this is what it feels
like to be instantly sorry.
381
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:27,543
Where is everyone?
382
00:13:27,568 --> 00:13:29,744
- I thought this place would be crazy.
- Ha-ha-ha!
383
00:13:29,779 --> 00:13:31,262
Yeah, those were the days.
384
00:13:31,302 --> 00:13:33,335
Now people prefer to shop online.
385
00:13:33,371 --> 00:13:34,752
My grandfather opened this store.
386
00:13:34,777 --> 00:13:37,565
Now it closes with me. So,
to answer your question,
387
00:13:37,590 --> 00:13:38,856
yes, I do drink.
388
00:13:38,881 --> 00:13:41,200
Um... hey, we're looking
for a beanbag chair.
389
00:13:41,225 --> 00:13:42,559
Hey! We have one.
390
00:13:42,584 --> 00:13:44,059
Nice!
391
00:13:44,315 --> 00:13:46,396
Heck, I'll go get it for
you. I'm not doing anything.
392
00:13:46,421 --> 00:13:47,520
Great, great.
393
00:13:47,801 --> 00:13:49,567
Brick and mortar, baby.
394
00:13:51,155 --> 00:13:53,188
- A beanbag chair, Winston?
- Yeah.
395
00:13:53,224 --> 00:13:56,358
You thought that would be a...
a suitable gift for my bride?
396
00:13:56,401 --> 00:13:57,770
You wouldn't get it. I
mean, it's a reference
397
00:13:57,795 --> 00:14:00,309
to a classic Winston-Cece mess-around.
398
00:14:01,265 --> 00:14:02,872
Beanbag chair!
399
00:14:03,622 --> 00:14:05,497
Never in my life have I heard
400
00:14:05,522 --> 00:14:07,379
of a game of one-on-one Pictionary.
401
00:14:07,404 --> 00:14:09,348
- We had a moment.
- Unmoved.
402
00:14:09,373 --> 00:14:11,173
- Okay.
- Had you drawn a picture poo-poo,
403
00:14:11,208 --> 00:14:12,504
would that have been a
good gift for my Cece?
404
00:14:12,529 --> 00:14:14,073
It would have been hilarious.
405
00:14:14,098 --> 00:14:15,153
Look, Schmidt, I get it
406
00:14:15,178 --> 00:14:17,176
that you are closer to her than I am.
407
00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:18,329
- Uh-huh.
- However,
408
00:14:18,354 --> 00:14:20,192
I got my own thing going on with her.
409
00:14:20,217 --> 00:14:22,372
And I feel like you don't respect that.
410
00:14:22,397 --> 00:14:23,809
- Closer to her?
- You are.
411
00:14:23,834 --> 00:14:25,706
That's a good way to
describe our relationship,
412
00:14:25,731 --> 00:14:27,520
- comparatively to yours.
- Yeah. Yeah.
413
00:14:27,545 --> 00:14:30,263
Yes, considering we are man and wife.
414
00:14:30,288 --> 00:14:31,395
Yeah.
415
00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:34,961
Winston, this is a very cozy,
416
00:14:34,986 --> 00:14:37,221
inoffensive blanket.
417
00:14:37,246 --> 00:14:38,167
Get it.
418
00:14:38,202 --> 00:14:39,970
Has no relevance
towards our relationship.
419
00:14:39,995 --> 00:14:41,293
- Why would I do that?
- Get the blanket.
420
00:14:41,318 --> 00:14:42,455
- No.
- Winston, please.
421
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:43,923
Just get the blanket and let's go.
422
00:14:43,948 --> 00:14:45,533
Well, since you asked nicely, no.
423
00:14:45,558 --> 00:14:47,455
- Just get the blanket.
- No. I don't want the damn blanket.
424
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:48,744
Here's the beanbag chair.
425
00:14:48,779 --> 00:14:50,546
Yeah, stores are the best.
426
00:14:50,581 --> 00:14:52,014
Hey, you guys want to go
get lunch or something?
427
00:14:52,049 --> 00:14:53,148
Nah. How much is it?
428
00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:54,416
It's $249.99.
429
00:14:54,452 --> 00:14:56,009
- What? For a beanbag chair?
- For a beanbag chair?
430
00:14:56,034 --> 00:14:58,392
Well, we have a cheaper one...
we're just, we're out of stock.
431
00:14:58,417 --> 00:15:01,564
I could order it for you, but
it would take seven to ten days.
432
00:15:01,589 --> 00:15:03,192
Man, stores are the worst.
433
00:15:03,227 --> 00:15:04,673
The admiral will take this.
434
00:15:04,698 --> 00:15:05,761
Whatever happened to Hanukkah?
435
00:15:05,796 --> 00:15:07,705
Hey, Jess, about that...
the-the stuff I s...
436
00:15:07,730 --> 00:15:09,900
Oh, wait, it's fine... I...
437
00:15:10,066 --> 00:15:11,800
I must have seemed so crazy.
438
00:15:11,836 --> 00:15:14,103
Let's just enjoy the holiday, okay?
439
00:15:15,158 --> 00:15:17,306
Okay, Secret Santa.
440
00:15:17,341 --> 00:15:20,109
By now, the suspense
must be killing you.
441
00:15:20,134 --> 00:15:21,243
As you all know,
442
00:15:21,278 --> 00:15:23,689
uh, Nick knows his Secret Santa gift
443
00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:25,656
is Reagan flying out
444
00:15:25,681 --> 00:15:27,182
from Seattle to surprise him.
445
00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:28,775
All right.
446
00:15:28,791 --> 00:15:30,262
Merry Christmas, Nick.
447
00:15:30,287 --> 00:15:32,921
All right, Cece. That big boy's for you.
448
00:15:32,957 --> 00:15:34,658
What in the hell is that?
449
00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:36,501
Winston, what'd you do with
the thing we just bought?
450
00:15:38,839 --> 00:15:40,212
Beanbag chair!
451
00:15:40,470 --> 00:15:43,766
Beanbag chair! It's from Winston!
452
00:15:43,801 --> 00:15:45,164
They had to make it out
of this dumb blanket.
453
00:15:45,189 --> 00:15:47,994
Winston, you remembered
our game night. I love it.
454
00:15:48,056 --> 00:15:49,087
You do?
455
00:15:49,112 --> 00:15:50,744
- She does.
- I do.
456
00:15:51,634 --> 00:15:52,867
Well, you know what, Winston?
457
00:15:52,892 --> 00:15:54,734
You were right... it's the perfect gift.
458
00:15:54,759 --> 00:15:56,779
I guess I just have to
come to terms with the fact
459
00:15:56,814 --> 00:15:59,017
that my wife is a little bit
weirder than I thought she was.
460
00:15:59,042 --> 00:16:00,493
It's a prototype, you know?
461
00:16:00,518 --> 00:16:01,850
The real one's on its way.
462
00:16:01,886 --> 00:16:03,252
Didn't have a lot of beans,
463
00:16:03,287 --> 00:16:05,314
so I had to pad it
with rice and oatmeal.
464
00:16:05,369 --> 00:16:06,619
- It's a great gift. Thank you.
- It's perfect!
465
00:16:06,627 --> 00:16:07,627
Good job.
466
00:16:07,652 --> 00:16:09,822
All right, well, whoever got
Schmidt better have brought it,
467
00:16:09,847 --> 00:16:11,962
'cause Winston set the bar really high.
468
00:16:11,987 --> 00:16:14,101
Oh, here we go, here we go.
469
00:16:14,126 --> 00:16:15,697
- Here we go. Ooh...
- Ooh...
470
00:16:15,733 --> 00:16:18,601
Cashmere socks! Dayanu!
471
00:16:18,626 --> 00:16:20,523
Well, it's not Winston, it's not Jess.
472
00:16:20,548 --> 00:16:23,071
- Cece?
- No. No, it's not me.
473
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:24,807
- I got you, boy.
- No way.
474
00:16:24,842 --> 00:16:26,408
- I got you. This is me.
- This is you?
475
00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:28,977
- Nicholas!
- Yeah, come on.
476
00:16:29,013 --> 00:16:30,479
I don't know why I'm finding the image
477
00:16:30,514 --> 00:16:33,549
of you mispronouncing the
word "cashmere" in a store...
478
00:16:33,584 --> 00:16:35,121
to be so joyful.
479
00:16:35,146 --> 00:16:36,171
"Cadsh-mer."
480
00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:37,663
- Winston.
- Oh.
481
00:16:37,694 --> 00:16:39,298
Ha-ha! I get one?
482
00:16:39,323 --> 00:16:41,256
- Oh, man.
- Yeah. Everybody gets one.
483
00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:42,724
That's crazy. I get one, too.
484
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,193
- You know.
- Yeah, everybody does.
485
00:16:44,228 --> 00:16:45,527
Aah! For me?
486
00:16:45,563 --> 00:16:48,861
Oh, my stars! A check made
out to my phone company?
487
00:16:48,886 --> 00:16:51,533
Cece, girl, is this for that night
we got bombed and called Iceland?
488
00:16:51,569 --> 00:16:52,734
You know it is!
489
00:16:52,770 --> 00:16:56,011
Okay, hold on, wait a minute,
I had... I had Winston, too.
490
00:16:56,105 --> 00:16:57,980
Somebody got left out.
Who didn't get one?
491
00:16:58,005 --> 00:17:00,160
Oh, Winnie got two gifts?
492
00:17:01,072 --> 00:17:03,042
- That's for Winston.
- Yeah.
493
00:17:05,277 --> 00:17:07,316
Oh... no, no, it's...
494
00:17:07,351 --> 00:17:08,584
it's fine.
495
00:17:08,619 --> 00:17:10,552
It's... it's my fault.
496
00:17:10,790 --> 00:17:12,869
I must have gotten
so tipsy on Halloween,
497
00:17:12,894 --> 00:17:14,690
I forgot to write down my own name.
498
00:17:14,725 --> 00:17:16,558
See? It's right there in the song.
499
00:17:16,594 --> 00:17:18,285
He makes a list,
500
00:17:18,310 --> 00:17:19,862
he checks it twice.
501
00:17:20,104 --> 00:17:22,424
See, this is probably why
Santa stopped drinking.
502
00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:23,732
Well, here, you know what?
503
00:17:23,767 --> 00:17:25,324
Have this one.
504
00:17:27,201 --> 00:17:31,303
Oh, my God, a hamster?!
505
00:17:31,471 --> 00:17:32,504
You're a pet guy, man.
506
00:17:32,529 --> 00:17:34,496
I am. I am.
507
00:17:35,152 --> 00:17:36,945
But... Jess, you...
508
00:17:36,981 --> 00:17:38,175
you should have him.
509
00:17:38,207 --> 00:17:41,253
No. I-I got the best gift of all.
510
00:17:41,339 --> 00:17:44,128
Watching you guys give each
other gifts that show you care.
511
00:17:44,153 --> 00:17:45,965
Well, you can't not have a gift.
512
00:17:45,990 --> 00:17:47,856
Besides, Ferguson's
gonna eat him, anyway.
513
00:17:47,881 --> 00:17:49,580
Oh. Well, if...
514
00:17:49,605 --> 00:17:51,527
if Ferguson will eat him, then I...
515
00:17:51,562 --> 00:17:52,939
I'll take him.
516
00:17:52,964 --> 00:17:54,839
- Thanks, Winston.
- Of course.
517
00:17:55,112 --> 00:17:56,951
Great Secret Santa, everyone.
518
00:17:57,291 --> 00:17:59,652
You want to go to bed, little guy?
519
00:18:00,622 --> 00:18:02,636
You want to see your new room?
520
00:18:05,075 --> 00:18:06,230
I feel horrible.
521
00:18:06,255 --> 00:18:08,191
You have no idea. She
and I got in a thing.
522
00:18:08,216 --> 00:18:09,755
I said something so stupid.
523
00:18:09,780 --> 00:18:12,111
Sleigh!
524
00:18:12,136 --> 00:18:13,181
Hey, Reagan.
525
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,777
- Hey.
- Really?
526
00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:18,010
Do you know how hard it was to put
this thing on in an airplane bathroom?
527
00:18:18,044 --> 00:18:19,472
Do I.
528
00:18:26,896 --> 00:18:28,971
If you don't get off
that wheel right now,
529
00:18:28,996 --> 00:18:30,762
there's gonna be hell to pay.
530
00:18:30,787 --> 00:18:32,525
Now!
531
00:18:32,557 --> 00:18:34,502
Whoa. Did you understand me?
532
00:18:40,502 --> 00:18:41,932
Oh, you're awa...
533
00:18:41,957 --> 00:18:43,088
you're awake. Great.
534
00:18:43,113 --> 00:18:45,752
Nick, how often do you sneak into
my room in the middle of the night?
535
00:18:45,777 --> 00:18:48,572
Uh, that you're awake,
uh, this is a first.
536
00:18:48,597 --> 00:18:49,822
- Here.
- Weird.
537
00:18:49,847 --> 00:18:51,361
Here's some cocoa.
538
00:18:51,534 --> 00:18:55,049
Hey, I wanted to say that
I'm sorry about what I said.
539
00:18:55,957 --> 00:18:58,358
I know you are. Thanks.
540
00:18:58,550 --> 00:19:00,752
I also want to say thank you.
541
00:19:00,777 --> 00:19:03,011
Even though I knew Reagan
was coming, when I saw her
542
00:19:03,036 --> 00:19:06,103
I felt like it was Christmas
morning and I was ten.
543
00:19:06,324 --> 00:19:08,830
But a ten-year-old about to have sex...
544
00:19:08,855 --> 00:19:10,721
with Santa!
545
00:19:11,164 --> 00:19:13,064
And it was... yeah,
this is getting weird.
546
00:19:13,089 --> 00:19:15,174
Anyway, I just wanted to say...
547
00:19:15,410 --> 00:19:17,166
I'm sorry and thank you.
548
00:19:41,509 --> 00:19:43,099
Come with me.
549
00:19:43,787 --> 00:19:46,184
Uh, actually, do you want
to put a bra on first?
550
00:19:46,217 --> 00:19:48,534
Cue the music.
551
00:19:48,559 --> 00:19:50,779
- Surprise!
- Merry Christmas, Jess.
552
00:19:51,677 --> 00:19:53,336
- We got something for you.
- Ta-da!
553
00:19:53,371 --> 00:19:54,804
Robby set it all up.
554
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:56,388
What?!
555
00:19:56,413 --> 00:19:58,013
This is for you.
556
00:20:02,278 --> 00:20:03,682
♪ Christmas ♪
557
00:20:03,707 --> 00:20:05,435
♪ The snow's coming down ♪
558
00:20:05,460 --> 00:20:07,326
♪ Christmas ♪
559
00:20:07,351 --> 00:20:09,784
♪ I'm watching it fall ♪
560
00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:11,138
♪ Christmas ♪
561
00:20:11,163 --> 00:20:13,645
♪ Lots of people around ♪
562
00:20:13,727 --> 00:20:14,966
♪ Christmas ♪
563
00:20:14,991 --> 00:20:17,659
♪ Baby, please come home ♪
564
00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:19,550
What is Darlene Love doing here?
565
00:20:19,692 --> 00:20:21,658
Uh, we used to do hot yoga together.
566
00:20:21,683 --> 00:20:22,849
Oh.
567
00:20:22,874 --> 00:20:25,274
♪ All ringing in song ♪
568
00:20:25,299 --> 00:20:26,531
♪ Christmas ♪
569
00:20:26,556 --> 00:20:28,599
♪ What a happy sound ♪
570
00:20:28,624 --> 00:20:30,419
This is amazing!
571
00:20:30,444 --> 00:20:32,986
♪ Baby, please come home ♪
572
00:20:33,389 --> 00:20:36,864
♪ They're singing "Deck the Halls" ♪
573
00:20:37,225 --> 00:20:40,493
♪ But it's not like Christmas at all ♪
574
00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:43,005
♪ 'Cause I remember when you... ♪
575
00:20:43,030 --> 00:20:44,963
How much longer do I have to do this?
576
00:20:45,295 --> 00:20:46,630
I'm almost out of litter.
577
00:20:46,655 --> 00:20:48,528
It's shredded receipts.
578
00:20:48,553 --> 00:20:49,653
♪ Christmas ♪
579
00:20:49,678 --> 00:20:51,092
This is the best gift.
580
00:20:52,294 --> 00:20:54,862
- Thank you.
- Merry Christmas, Jess.
581
00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:57,087
Bar elves! Come on in!
582
00:21:01,172 --> 00:21:04,372
♪ Baby, please come home ♪
583
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:37,673
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com