1
00:00:01,154 --> 00:00:03,185
Well, this is the last of Robby's stuff.
2
00:00:03,210 --> 00:00:04,248
How you doing with the breakup?
3
00:00:04,273 --> 00:00:06,746
Really well, since we're related,
4
00:00:06,771 --> 00:00:09,677
and all the laws of nature
say we should not be together.
5
00:00:09,745 --> 00:00:10,911
If you guys need me today,
6
00:00:10,980 --> 00:00:13,023
I'll be in my room
rearranging my furniture
7
00:00:13,048 --> 00:00:14,281
so it no longer resembles a place
8
00:00:14,308 --> 00:00:16,443
where I made out with my cousin.
9
00:00:16,468 --> 00:00:17,510
- Third cousin.
- Still.
10
00:00:17,535 --> 00:00:18,886
- Ugh, barely better.
- Ew.
11
00:00:18,921 --> 00:00:20,321
- Don't normalize it, Jess.
- Ugh.
12
00:00:20,389 --> 00:00:22,134
- You're right, you're right.
- Ugh.
13
00:00:23,282 --> 00:00:24,329
Hey, Nick.
14
00:00:24,354 --> 00:00:27,061
Are you wearing your running
bottoms and your hoodie?
15
00:00:27,096 --> 00:00:28,876
Nick, are you going running?
16
00:00:30,087 --> 00:00:31,236
Have fun.
17
00:00:33,169 --> 00:00:34,735
Oh, my God. What is
wrong with Nick, Reagan?
18
00:00:34,804 --> 00:00:35,836
Yeah, what happened? Are you guys okay?
19
00:00:35,905 --> 00:00:37,956
Nick is going for a run.
20
00:00:37,981 --> 00:00:40,208
If anything, we should be
asking what is right with Nick.
21
00:00:40,233 --> 00:00:41,775
He only goes running if he's upset.
22
00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:42,877
And he's wearing his sad hoodie.
23
00:00:42,902 --> 00:00:44,416
And by the looks of
it, it's been washed,
24
00:00:44,448 --> 00:00:45,523
which is bone-chilling.
25
00:00:45,548 --> 00:00:46,918
He's fine. Everything's okay.
26
00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:49,818
I just passed Nick
on the street running,
27
00:00:49,843 --> 00:00:51,045
on purpose!
28
00:00:51,070 --> 00:00:52,475
Oh, my God!
29
00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:53,709
Maybe I was wrong.
30
00:00:53,734 --> 00:00:55,904
Nick! Are you okay?!
31
00:00:55,929 --> 00:00:57,647
I see you!
32
00:00:57,672 --> 00:00:59,189
And I love you!
33
00:00:59,214 --> 00:01:02,539
In my defense, no one here
emotes in a normal way.
34
00:01:02,565 --> 00:01:03,797
- That's fair.
- Nick!
35
00:01:03,822 --> 00:01:07,617
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com
36
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,218
How's the boba?
37
00:01:13,008 --> 00:01:14,586
It's fine.
38
00:01:16,179 --> 00:01:19,054
Why are you making so
much eye contact with us?
39
00:01:20,615 --> 00:01:22,318
Oh, you're gonna ask us
for something, aren't you?
40
00:01:22,343 --> 00:01:24,771
The boba is a metaphor.
41
00:01:24,826 --> 00:01:28,161
Aly is the tapioca
pearl to my milky matcha,
42
00:01:28,229 --> 00:01:31,833
each made better by the
unlikely presence of the other.
43
00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:33,435
I think you know what I'm saying...
44
00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:34,498
We have absolutely no idea.
45
00:01:34,523 --> 00:01:35,625
I haven't known what you've been saying
46
00:01:35,654 --> 00:01:37,448
for three and a half years.
47
00:01:37,489 --> 00:01:39,185
I'm asking Aly to marry me.
48
00:01:39,210 --> 00:01:40,257
- What?!
- Whoa!
49
00:01:40,282 --> 00:01:41,974
- Yeah, yeah.
- Oh, my gosh!
50
00:01:41,999 --> 00:01:44,099
- Winston. My man!
- Yeah.
51
00:01:44,124 --> 00:01:45,616
Yes.
52
00:01:45,641 --> 00:01:47,947
And I'm gonna need your
help with the process.
53
00:01:48,016 --> 00:01:50,750
Now, keep this between us.
I am only telling you two.
54
00:01:50,775 --> 00:01:52,219
- Yeah, we won't say a word. Yeah.
- Whatever you need.
55
00:01:52,244 --> 00:01:54,844
Meet me at the bar in one hour, okay?
56
00:01:54,891 --> 00:01:56,314
Look fresh.
57
00:01:56,391 --> 00:01:59,242
We'll discuss details. I'm gonna
need you for the entire day.
58
00:01:59,267 --> 00:02:00,344
- We're with you.
- Yes.
59
00:02:00,369 --> 00:02:02,264
Little Winnie is growing up.
60
00:02:02,304 --> 00:02:04,846
First he's a husband
and then maybe one day
61
00:02:04,899 --> 00:02:06,265
he could be a father...
62
00:02:06,290 --> 00:02:07,445
One day?
63
00:02:07,470 --> 00:02:08,938
I am a father.
64
00:02:09,578 --> 00:02:12,004
- It's a cat, Winston.
- He's my blood.
65
00:02:12,218 --> 00:02:13,840
I am never gonna figure him out.
66
00:02:13,908 --> 00:02:16,509
I feel like I found a forest baby,
67
00:02:16,578 --> 00:02:18,444
and I don't know when
it's hungry or in pain
68
00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:19,851
or afraid of the kitchen light.
69
00:02:19,876 --> 00:02:21,102
I know.
70
00:02:21,127 --> 00:02:24,250
Nick is just an enigma wrapped up
in a bunch of Chicago Bears crap.
71
00:02:24,319 --> 00:02:26,274
You need the help of a seasoned vet.
72
00:02:26,299 --> 00:02:27,820
Come in!
73
00:02:28,126 --> 00:02:29,829
- Hey, Nick.
- Hey.
74
00:02:29,854 --> 00:02:31,132
You feeling upset about something?
75
00:02:31,157 --> 00:02:33,642
No. I'm just eating edamame.
76
00:02:41,738 --> 00:02:43,066
Give me the cup.
77
00:02:43,091 --> 00:02:45,204
- They taste so bad.
- That's what I thought.
78
00:02:45,273 --> 00:02:47,723
I submitted The Pepperwood
Chronicles to a publishing company,
79
00:02:47,748 --> 00:02:49,752
and I got the rejection letter today.
80
00:02:49,777 --> 00:02:51,939
- My career is over.
- No, it's not.
81
00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:53,312
Nick, someday you'll be talking
82
00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:56,553
to a reanimated Oprah about that book.
83
00:02:56,904 --> 00:02:58,150
Have you talked to Reagan about this?
84
00:02:58,219 --> 00:02:59,810
I bet she'd be awesome to talk to.
85
00:02:59,835 --> 00:03:01,443
No, I am too embarrassed.
86
00:03:01,468 --> 00:03:03,856
Nick, she's your girlfriend.
You have to let her in.
87
00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:06,325
Don't just keep her in
the perfect front room.
88
00:03:06,350 --> 00:03:07,616
- Okay.
- Let her in the back,
89
00:03:07,641 --> 00:03:08,785
with the weird rooms
90
00:03:08,830 --> 00:03:11,330
and the-the dead bulbs
and the wet walls.
91
00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:13,966
All right, but I'm not letting her
go anywhere near my crawl space.
92
00:03:14,035 --> 00:03:16,670
I don't think you should let
anyone near your crawl space.
93
00:03:16,695 --> 00:03:19,435
Well, some people have to go to the
crawl space to clean out the boxes.
94
00:03:19,646 --> 00:03:21,662
Who cleans out the boxes?
95
00:03:21,687 --> 00:03:23,264
Significant other.
96
00:03:23,490 --> 00:03:25,014
What are you talking about?
97
00:03:25,279 --> 00:03:27,546
Hey. I have the scoop.
98
00:03:27,615 --> 00:03:29,949
Nick's book got rejected,
and he's really embarrassed.
99
00:03:30,018 --> 00:03:32,385
So now the baton...
100
00:03:32,453 --> 00:03:35,388
♪ has been passed... ♪
101
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:44,597
... to you.
102
00:03:44,622 --> 00:03:46,060
You own an actual baton?
103
00:03:46,085 --> 00:03:47,600
It was Robby's.
104
00:03:47,669 --> 00:03:51,279
He was really into
competitive male twirling.
105
00:03:51,513 --> 00:03:53,732
- I have so many questions...
- No.
106
00:03:53,757 --> 00:03:54,919
First, thank you
107
00:03:54,944 --> 00:03:57,543
for coming to this very special event.
108
00:03:57,568 --> 00:04:00,743
Might I just add that
everyone looks fresh.
109
00:04:00,768 --> 00:04:02,151
Now, when Aly gets here,
110
00:04:02,176 --> 00:04:03,930
I am going to suggest an activity
111
00:04:03,955 --> 00:04:05,594
for the four of us to do.
112
00:04:05,619 --> 00:04:07,386
Then I'll gracefully back out,
113
00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:09,744
leaving the two of you to distract her,
114
00:04:09,769 --> 00:04:11,760
as I prepare for...
115
00:04:11,854 --> 00:04:13,025
the show.
116
00:04:13,050 --> 00:04:14,370
Ooh, I got a scream
117
00:04:14,395 --> 00:04:15,399
and nowhere to put it.
118
00:04:15,424 --> 00:04:16,486
Ooh, this is exciting.
119
00:04:16,511 --> 00:04:19,365
Now, at an undisclosed time,
I will place a call to Aly,
120
00:04:19,434 --> 00:04:23,202
informing her that my car
has broken down in Malibu,
121
00:04:23,237 --> 00:04:27,174
where I'll be waiting with a
beautiful and glorious picnic
122
00:04:27,284 --> 00:04:29,484
right next to her favorite plant...
123
00:04:30,178 --> 00:04:31,619
... the common cactus.
124
00:04:31,644 --> 00:04:33,292
Here comes that scream.
Oh, my God, there she is.
125
00:04:33,317 --> 00:04:35,555
Oh, I'm screaming already. Aly!
126
00:04:35,580 --> 00:04:36,471
- Hey.
- Hey, hey.
127
00:04:36,496 --> 00:04:37,674
Hey, hey.
128
00:04:38,418 --> 00:04:39,682
Hi.
129
00:04:43,247 --> 00:04:44,360
Strange energy, guys.
130
00:04:45,817 --> 00:04:48,021
We all had bubbly
water. It made us giggle.
131
00:04:48,046 --> 00:04:50,371
- What's up? What's up? What's up?
- Hi. Hello.
132
00:04:50,396 --> 00:04:52,911
- What's up?
- Hi. Hello.
133
00:04:53,396 --> 00:04:54,405
Hello.
134
00:04:54,430 --> 00:04:56,312
Anyway, uh, Schmidt and Cece asked us
135
00:04:56,337 --> 00:04:57,754
to help paint their house.
136
00:04:57,779 --> 00:04:59,410
- Paint our house?
- Paint the house.
137
00:04:59,435 --> 00:05:01,073
Remember? That's the
activity for all of us to do.
138
00:05:01,142 --> 00:05:02,458
You know, 'cause you
wanted... you wanted...
139
00:05:02,483 --> 00:05:05,444
Paint the house. Paint
the house. Yes, we... did.
140
00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:08,786
Even though the majority of
our house is already painted.
141
00:05:08,811 --> 00:05:11,317
We wanted our best friends to finish it.
142
00:05:11,386 --> 00:05:13,138
Not professionals.
143
00:05:13,163 --> 00:05:15,459
Like, uh... like our new
home was some tree house
144
00:05:15,484 --> 00:05:17,013
in a Little League baseball movie.
145
00:05:17,058 --> 00:05:18,779
I mean, I-I've never
done it before, but...
146
00:05:18,804 --> 00:05:20,122
Sounds like a yes to me.
147
00:05:20,147 --> 00:05:21,990
Aw, snap, just remembered,
148
00:05:22,175 --> 00:05:23,541
I can't make it.
149
00:05:25,419 --> 00:05:27,121
- Uh, uh, boo.
- Uh...
150
00:05:27,146 --> 00:05:28,683
- Yeah.
- Boy, that's a bummer.
151
00:05:28,708 --> 00:05:30,427
- Shock. So fast.
- Shoot.
152
00:05:30,452 --> 00:05:32,240
- Ugh.
- But, you know,
153
00:05:32,704 --> 00:05:34,211
boo.
154
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:37,936
What up, boy in the hood?
155
00:05:37,961 --> 00:05:39,211
I thought you were gonna talk to Reagan.
156
00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:41,247
I tried, but she's been
on her phone all day
157
00:05:41,315 --> 00:05:43,508
like a grandpa who missed a package.
158
00:05:43,541 --> 00:05:45,266
Like... "Hel..."
159
00:05:45,291 --> 00:05:46,651
I'm not even gonna do it.
160
00:05:46,676 --> 00:05:50,125
Yes. Thank you so much.
We will be there. Thanks.
161
00:05:50,313 --> 00:05:53,659
Nick, I know that dumb
publisher rejected your book.
162
00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:55,661
And, guess what, that
publisher can go to hell.
163
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:57,663
After you beat them to
death with this baton
164
00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:59,243
that I weirdly still have.
165
00:05:59,268 --> 00:06:01,593
Because you don't need a publisher.
166
00:06:01,618 --> 00:06:04,170
You need a girlfriend
who found a bookstore...
167
00:06:04,205 --> 00:06:05,303
to sell Pepperwood.
168
00:06:05,328 --> 00:06:06,835
Seriously?
169
00:06:06,860 --> 00:06:08,437
That's amazing. That's amazing!
170
00:06:08,462 --> 00:06:10,475
I called all over and
I finally found one.
171
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:11,663
Reagan saved the day!
172
00:06:11,688 --> 00:06:13,325
- You're amazing.
- That's right.
173
00:06:13,350 --> 00:06:15,178
All we need is, uh,
30 copies of the book.
174
00:06:15,203 --> 00:06:16,339
Oh, well, we can make them.
175
00:06:16,364 --> 00:06:18,546
I mean, it'll be hard,
but we could do it.
176
00:06:18,571 --> 00:06:19,952
We could do it. We'll
make 'em ourselves.
177
00:06:19,977 --> 00:06:23,240
Fantastic. Uh, we just need 'em
by tonight for his big reading.
178
00:06:23,451 --> 00:06:24,857
Excuse me, did you say "big..."
179
00:06:24,894 --> 00:06:26,788
- "a big reading tonight"?
- Yeah.
180
00:06:26,813 --> 00:06:28,530
Well, that sounds...
181
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:29,567
public.
182
00:06:29,592 --> 00:06:31,452
Well, I mean, he's got to do
a reading to sell the book.
183
00:06:31,477 --> 00:06:32,577
- Is that bad?
- Is that bad?
184
00:06:32,602 --> 00:06:33,709
No, it's good. I get...
185
00:06:33,734 --> 00:06:36,911
I get to do a reading
tonight in front of people.
186
00:06:36,936 --> 00:06:38,237
- Yeah.
- I get to read in front
187
00:06:38,306 --> 00:06:40,359
of a bunch of people
who are gonna judge me.
188
00:06:40,656 --> 00:06:42,586
This is not bad. This
is good. This is...
189
00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:44,508
See, this is another
thing that Nick does
190
00:06:44,533 --> 00:06:45,586
when he's upset.
191
00:06:45,611 --> 00:06:46,712
At least he's not running.
192
00:06:53,736 --> 00:06:56,000
So you want me to read
in front of people.
193
00:06:56,025 --> 00:06:59,490
You want me to read in
front of living people...
194
00:06:59,515 --> 00:07:02,119
who are there to hear me read.
195
00:07:02,182 --> 00:07:05,080
And how will I... how will
I even know what to read?
196
00:07:05,105 --> 00:07:06,697
- You're gonna read your book.
- I'll read my book. Fine.
197
00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:07,729
This is good. I'm fine.
198
00:07:07,754 --> 00:07:09,423
Don't worry about me. I'm fine.
199
00:07:09,481 --> 00:07:11,195
Oh, I feel like my heart is pumping out
200
00:07:11,220 --> 00:07:12,947
scalding hot toilet water.
201
00:07:12,972 --> 00:07:14,440
See, a vivid description like that
202
00:07:14,465 --> 00:07:15,837
is gonna make the audience go wild.
203
00:07:15,862 --> 00:07:17,662
Ah, the audience! I
just forgot the audience,
204
00:07:17,731 --> 00:07:19,064
and now I remember the audience.
205
00:07:19,132 --> 00:07:20,814
I can't do this. I can't
do it. I can't do it.
206
00:07:20,839 --> 00:07:22,229
All right, here it is...
207
00:07:22,254 --> 00:07:23,711
The Pepperwood Chronicles.
208
00:07:23,736 --> 00:07:25,369
I made a prototype.
209
00:07:25,394 --> 00:07:27,205
Jess, that looks fantastic!
210
00:07:27,884 --> 00:07:29,994
- That looks really good.
- How did you do that?
211
00:07:30,019 --> 00:07:32,627
Oh, that's between
me and my craft wagon.
212
00:07:32,947 --> 00:07:34,045
I wrote you.
213
00:07:34,114 --> 00:07:35,680
Hey, um, how's he doing?
214
00:07:35,749 --> 00:07:37,115
- Not very good.
- Hmm.
215
00:07:37,140 --> 00:07:38,392
And if I'm being honest with you,
216
00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:40,283
I'm starting to freak out now.
217
00:07:40,888 --> 00:07:42,252
This is me freaking out.
218
00:07:42,277 --> 00:07:44,556
Do I sometimes wonder if you're a robot?
219
00:07:44,581 --> 00:07:46,752
- Yeah.
- I've made you!
220
00:07:47,228 --> 00:07:49,055
- You're of me.
- When Nick gets like this,
221
00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:50,228
he needs to be occupied.
222
00:07:50,253 --> 00:07:52,053
Luckily, we have tons of books to make.
223
00:07:52,078 --> 00:07:54,508
- It's got my name in it.
- Book time!
224
00:07:54,533 --> 00:07:56,635
Gather around, my little Guttenbergs!
225
00:07:56,670 --> 00:07:58,158
Here we go.
226
00:07:58,439 --> 00:08:01,102
Hey, Jess, can I borrow
your cactus gloves?
227
00:08:01,127 --> 00:08:02,173
Ooh!
228
00:08:02,242 --> 00:08:03,642
Making books, huh?
229
00:08:03,677 --> 00:08:05,810
♪ Butterfly in the sky ♪
230
00:08:05,871 --> 00:08:08,502
♪ I can fly twice as high ♪
231
00:08:08,627 --> 00:08:10,041
♪ Take a look ♪
232
00:08:10,066 --> 00:08:11,492
♪ It's in a book. ♪
233
00:08:11,517 --> 00:08:12,517
Ah, you know the rest.
234
00:08:12,586 --> 00:08:13,919
Just, we put... we put 'em there.
235
00:08:13,987 --> 00:08:15,867
Backing away from an
active craft project.
236
00:08:15,892 --> 00:08:17,306
- Are you okay?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
237
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:19,958
No. Um, Reagan's a little insecure
238
00:08:20,027 --> 00:08:22,260
about being there for Nick.
239
00:08:22,329 --> 00:08:23,929
- So I want her to have this.
- Oh.
240
00:08:23,997 --> 00:08:25,797
- Wow. I'm proud of you.
- Yeah.
241
00:08:25,866 --> 00:08:27,532
Thanks.
242
00:08:27,557 --> 00:08:29,223
This is where you give
me the cactus gloves.
243
00:08:31,173 --> 00:08:32,470
This is really soothing.
244
00:08:32,495 --> 00:08:33,805
You're a natural.
245
00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:35,240
She's terrible.
246
00:08:35,309 --> 00:08:36,572
She's ruining our bedroom.
247
00:08:36,597 --> 00:08:38,497
It's like she's begrudgingly
covering up graffiti.
248
00:08:38,522 --> 00:08:40,278
Oh, there's a couple rough patches,
249
00:08:40,347 --> 00:08:42,847
but... that's what posters are for.
250
00:08:42,872 --> 00:08:44,361
Just calm down, okay?
We can fix it later,
251
00:08:44,386 --> 00:08:46,423
but we have to keep
her in here for Winston.
252
00:08:46,448 --> 00:08:48,781
Hey. Since we're doing
this, I got to say,
253
00:08:48,806 --> 00:08:50,221
do not like the color of your bathroom.
254
00:08:50,246 --> 00:08:51,213
You know what?
255
00:08:51,238 --> 00:08:53,849
Now that I think about it, me either.
256
00:08:53,874 --> 00:08:55,460
- What?!
- Let's do that next.
257
00:08:55,529 --> 00:08:57,662
- Great.
- It's special order robin's egg.
258
00:08:57,731 --> 00:08:59,698
- It's just paint!
- It's not just paint.
259
00:08:59,766 --> 00:09:01,096
Hey, guys...
260
00:09:01,121 --> 00:09:03,367
as much as I love a good whisper fight,
261
00:09:03,392 --> 00:09:04,666
- I should go.
- Oh, no! No, no, no.
262
00:09:04,691 --> 00:09:07,305
- You, uh, can not leave.
- Why not?
263
00:09:07,655 --> 00:09:09,955
Because we can't be alone together.
264
00:09:09,992 --> 00:09:12,314
- Because...?
- Because...
265
00:09:14,432 --> 00:09:16,267
because...
266
00:09:16,995 --> 00:09:19,439
we're having marital problems.
267
00:09:22,279 --> 00:09:25,200
That's... secret,
268
00:09:25,225 --> 00:09:26,624
which is part of our marital problem.
269
00:09:26,693 --> 00:09:28,960
She's got a big mouth, but a great can.
270
00:09:28,996 --> 00:09:31,229
Which is also part of
our marital problems.
271
00:09:31,254 --> 00:09:32,287
I objectify her.
272
00:09:32,312 --> 00:09:33,967
See. I knew something was up.
273
00:09:33,992 --> 00:09:35,490
Everyone was like, "They're so perfect!"
274
00:09:35,515 --> 00:09:38,203
And I was like, "No.
Something in that relationship
275
00:09:38,271 --> 00:09:40,967
"is very, very broken."
276
00:09:43,535 --> 00:09:45,050
Hey, Nick. Where's Reagan?
277
00:09:45,075 --> 00:09:47,045
Getting more glue. We ran out.
278
00:09:47,070 --> 00:09:48,908
How many did you get done?
279
00:09:48,933 --> 00:09:50,324
One...
280
00:09:50,349 --> 00:09:51,918
and I think we did it wrong.
281
00:09:51,949 --> 00:09:53,152
It doesn't look right to me.
282
00:09:53,177 --> 00:09:55,581
Your reading's in three hours! It...
283
00:09:56,074 --> 00:09:58,890
Let's make some books! I think
I have some really good glue
284
00:09:58,959 --> 00:10:00,358
in my non-mobile craft cart.
285
00:10:00,383 --> 00:10:02,256
- You're gonna help me?
- Yeah!
286
00:10:02,296 --> 00:10:03,613
Let's do it.
287
00:10:06,831 --> 00:10:08,933
God, this glue works great!
288
00:10:08,958 --> 00:10:11,097
Oh, it smells great, too!
289
00:10:11,122 --> 00:10:12,706
It really does.
290
00:10:18,178 --> 00:10:20,311
Oh, I love the smell of new books!
291
00:10:20,380 --> 00:10:21,550
Yeah, me, too.
292
00:10:21,575 --> 00:10:22,894
Mmm! New, new books.
293
00:10:22,919 --> 00:10:24,473
New, new books!
294
00:10:24,518 --> 00:10:26,863
Oh! Can I tell you something?
I feel great right now.
295
00:10:26,888 --> 00:10:29,338
I feel very good. I feel very confident.
296
00:10:29,363 --> 00:10:32,097
- I am ready for that read.
- I think you're gonna crush it.
297
00:10:32,122 --> 00:10:33,472
I think I'll read the whole
book in about two minutes.
298
00:10:33,497 --> 00:10:34,511
Yeah. Just get in there. You'll...
299
00:10:36,530 --> 00:10:37,695
- What?
- What?
300
00:10:37,764 --> 00:10:39,535
- What?
- What?
301
00:10:41,578 --> 00:10:43,068
And people are gonna go nuts.
302
00:10:43,136 --> 00:10:44,969
They're gonna be like, "Yes,
yes, we love this book."
303
00:10:45,038 --> 00:10:46,404
And they're gonna just buy every copy,
304
00:10:46,473 --> 00:10:48,239
and then you're gonna
have to, like, print more.
305
00:10:48,264 --> 00:10:50,297
- That's what's gonna happen.
- Does your hair always look like that?
306
00:10:50,322 --> 00:10:51,322
Yeah.
307
00:10:51,347 --> 00:10:53,065
Do you have brown hair?
308
00:10:54,222 --> 00:10:55,713
- Definitely.
- Why didn't you tell me?
309
00:10:55,749 --> 00:10:57,482
It's a secret.
310
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:02,954
Check this out. I'm
gonna birth this book.
311
00:11:04,424 --> 00:11:05,862
- Here you go. It's a baby book.
- Oh!
312
00:11:07,145 --> 00:11:08,306
Congratulations!
313
00:11:08,331 --> 00:11:10,308
- It's a paperback!
- Hey, guys.
314
00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:11,720
- Reagan!
- Reagan!
315
00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:13,705
- Reagan.
- Reagan...!
316
00:11:16,503 --> 00:11:17,751
Sorry that took so long.
317
00:11:17,776 --> 00:11:19,838
I got stuck behind this,
uh, lady at the craft store
318
00:11:19,906 --> 00:11:22,474
that was buying 700
individually-priced buttons.
319
00:11:22,542 --> 00:11:24,563
- Mm.
- Oh, they said to say hi to you.
320
00:11:24,588 --> 00:11:26,946
- Hi.
- And I got you a new shirt, Nick.
321
00:11:26,971 --> 00:11:28,033
Oh, isn't that nice.
322
00:11:28,058 --> 00:11:30,046
Phew! What the hell is
that smell, you guys?
323
00:11:30,071 --> 00:11:32,227
- We made a library!
- Mm.
324
00:11:32,438 --> 00:11:33,649
Is this the glue?
325
00:11:33,674 --> 00:11:35,368
It comes from my private collection.
326
00:11:35,393 --> 00:11:36,642
- Mm-hmm.
- It's very strong.
327
00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:37,726
You guys are so high.
328
00:11:37,751 --> 00:11:39,126
- How dare you?
- How dare you?
329
00:11:39,151 --> 00:11:40,735
- I'm not high at all.
- You're high.
330
00:11:42,376 --> 00:11:43,587
Whoa!
331
00:11:49,884 --> 00:11:52,721
You guys, this says to
use this in an open field.
332
00:11:52,763 --> 00:11:55,221
It specifically says that
a backyard is too small.
333
00:11:55,246 --> 00:11:56,839
- You're a backyard.
- Very good.
334
00:11:57,959 --> 00:12:00,051
- I think I should cancel this reading.
- No way!
335
00:12:00,076 --> 00:12:02,361
I am in. I feel great for the reading.
336
00:12:02,386 --> 00:12:04,393
Let me just buckle up my shirt.
337
00:12:04,418 --> 00:12:06,289
Well, the problem with this author shirt
338
00:12:06,314 --> 00:12:07,349
is that it's made of honey.
339
00:12:07,374 --> 00:12:08,785
- It's not...
- This shirt is too sticky.
340
00:12:08,810 --> 00:12:11,154
- It's because there's glue on your...
- 'Cause it's made of honey, so...
341
00:12:11,179 --> 00:12:12,018
I'm canceling.
342
00:12:12,043 --> 00:12:14,004
You cannot do a reading
in this condition.
343
00:12:14,029 --> 00:12:15,628
No! Don't cancel the reading!
344
00:12:15,697 --> 00:12:17,549
You worked so hard to get it!
345
00:12:17,574 --> 00:12:21,300
I got a backpack full of
Pepperwoods, and I'm ready.
346
00:12:24,582 --> 00:12:25,816
- Oh!
- Aah!
347
00:12:25,841 --> 00:12:26,853
Jess, I'm coming!
348
00:12:26,878 --> 00:12:28,722
Reagan, call shotgun.
349
00:12:32,089 --> 00:12:33,503
Are you pulling?
350
00:12:33,528 --> 00:12:35,511
- I can't feel you pulling.
- Let me get your legs!
351
00:12:35,536 --> 00:12:37,168
Please don't drag her.
352
00:12:40,043 --> 00:12:41,187
Winston, where are you?
353
00:12:41,256 --> 00:12:44,257
We are freaking out in
increasingly weird ways.
354
00:12:44,325 --> 00:12:47,886
I'm at a costume shop, getting
ready for the big proposal.
355
00:12:47,964 --> 00:12:49,541
A costume shop?
356
00:12:49,566 --> 00:12:50,955
All in good time.
357
00:12:51,032 --> 00:12:52,590
Now, listen, when I text you,
358
00:12:52,615 --> 00:12:54,603
I need you to bring Aly to Malibu, okay?
359
00:12:54,628 --> 00:12:56,586
I don't want the two of us
to drive back separately.
360
00:12:56,611 --> 00:12:58,244
Plus, I want to make out at red lights.
361
00:12:58,269 --> 00:12:59,413
Okay, Winston. Just how much longer?
362
00:12:59,438 --> 00:13:00,441
This is very important to me.
363
00:13:00,466 --> 00:13:01,699
If you mess this up,
you ruin my life, okay?
364
00:13:01,746 --> 00:13:02,894
- No, Winston. Uh, uh...
- Okay, bye!
365
00:13:02,919 --> 00:13:04,580
No. No, no, no. Uh...
366
00:13:04,817 --> 00:13:06,150
Ooh!
367
00:13:06,175 --> 00:13:08,584
So many marital problems we have.
368
00:13:09,324 --> 00:13:10,768
My baby's got a real sweet tooth.
369
00:13:10,793 --> 00:13:12,473
Just the other day,
she ate an entire sleeve
370
00:13:12,498 --> 00:13:14,158
of pecan sandies...
371
00:13:14,183 --> 00:13:16,238
and punched the top right off
372
00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:17,543
of a parking meter.
373
00:13:17,568 --> 00:13:18,890
It was the craziest
thing I've ever seen.
374
00:13:18,915 --> 00:13:21,182
She yells at me constantly and...
375
00:13:22,574 --> 00:13:24,894
there's one time where
she tipped over a table.
376
00:13:27,642 --> 00:13:30,277
He gambled away another paycheck.
377
00:13:30,302 --> 00:13:31,709
Oh, no!
378
00:13:31,746 --> 00:13:34,074
It's the ponies. I'm addicted.
379
00:13:34,099 --> 00:13:35,535
- Right, right, right.
- It's true.
380
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:38,161
All the money that he wins on gambling,
381
00:13:38,186 --> 00:13:40,339
- he puts up his nose.
- Oh.
382
00:13:40,364 --> 00:13:41,652
It's cocaine now, as well.
383
00:13:41,677 --> 00:13:42,996
- Love me the ca-caine.
- Ah, yeah.
384
00:13:43,021 --> 00:13:44,105
Feel invisible when I do it.
385
00:13:44,130 --> 00:13:46,800
This feels like some
sort of weird foreplay.
386
00:13:46,825 --> 00:13:49,428
- I'm out of here.
- Wait. No. Aly, please. Um...
387
00:13:49,497 --> 00:13:51,066
Don't leave me with this rage monster.
388
00:13:51,091 --> 00:13:53,402
Oh, yeah. You... I mean, you
want to see a rage monster?
389
00:13:53,427 --> 00:13:55,433
You want me to show
her the rage monster?
390
00:13:55,458 --> 00:13:57,691
- Well, here you go.
- No!
391
00:13:57,716 --> 00:13:59,253
- Just...
- Gosh darn.
392
00:13:59,302 --> 00:14:00,919
... tipping tables!
393
00:14:00,944 --> 00:14:01,951
- All right, that's...
- Wait. Aly, Aly.
394
00:14:01,976 --> 00:14:03,019
- Uh, but I just...
- Please don't leave.
395
00:14:03,044 --> 00:14:04,839
- She belongs in a mental hospital!
- What?!
396
00:14:04,864 --> 00:14:06,238
I know what's happening.
397
00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:08,058
You guys are trying to distract me
398
00:14:08,083 --> 00:14:11,011
from some weird thing
Winston's planning.
399
00:14:11,036 --> 00:14:13,028
Uh, no. Aly, no.
400
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:14,630
Possibly a prank?
401
00:14:15,469 --> 00:14:17,513
Might be a zotz, a goof.
402
00:14:17,546 --> 00:14:19,161
If it's prank, please tell him
403
00:14:19,186 --> 00:14:20,966
I wore bad underwear today. Please.
404
00:14:20,991 --> 00:14:23,072
- Frank Sinatra strikes again.
- It's a prank, it's a prank.
405
00:14:23,097 --> 00:14:24,296
That's exactly what it is.
406
00:14:24,365 --> 00:14:26,020
It's a prank. Great.
407
00:14:26,045 --> 00:14:27,977
Oh. Winston.
408
00:14:28,002 --> 00:14:30,035
Stranded in Malibu.
409
00:14:30,060 --> 00:14:31,893
All right, let's get this over with.
410
00:14:31,973 --> 00:14:33,973
- Winston.
- Hmm. Yep.
411
00:14:36,239 --> 00:14:38,811
The good news is I'm feeling sober.
412
00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:40,872
The bad news is maybe I'm too sober.
413
00:14:40,897 --> 00:14:43,200
- Yeah. I'm sobered up, too.
- Great.
414
00:14:43,225 --> 00:14:45,341
Why are my eyes so good?
415
00:14:45,637 --> 00:14:48,104
I can read everything from here.
416
00:14:48,389 --> 00:14:49,722
What does that mean?
417
00:14:49,790 --> 00:14:51,924
Oh, my God. A secret world.
418
00:14:51,985 --> 00:14:53,481
Okay. I don't think she's sober at all.
419
00:14:54,545 --> 00:14:55,594
Okay. Hi.
420
00:14:55,663 --> 00:14:58,230
Thank you for supporting
your local bookstore.
421
00:14:58,299 --> 00:15:00,752
Quick reminder: we're
dying. Please buy things.
422
00:15:00,777 --> 00:15:03,252
I was feeling very confident
before, but I'm losing some of it,
423
00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:04,987
so I think might just
take one more quick pull.
424
00:15:05,012 --> 00:15:06,297
- No, no. No, no, no.
- Just one more quick pull.
425
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:07,666
- Just one more quick.
- Oh, my goodness.
426
00:15:08,182 --> 00:15:09,542
Is this gonna be a problem?
427
00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:10,861
Get it together.
428
00:15:10,886 --> 00:15:13,145
And now, please welcome Nick Miller,
429
00:15:13,206 --> 00:15:15,239
author of The Pepperwood Chronicles.
430
00:15:15,264 --> 00:15:17,012
No, no.
431
00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:19,768
- Go ahead...
- Nick.
432
00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:21,593
Go ahead. They called...
433
00:15:22,596 --> 00:15:23,924
What a wonderful day.
434
00:15:23,949 --> 00:15:25,846
Quick reminder: we are dying.
435
00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:31,882
I wrote this, every word.
436
00:15:34,035 --> 00:15:35,334
All of that.
437
00:15:35,359 --> 00:15:37,525
My hard work, not yours.
438
00:15:37,905 --> 00:15:39,554
It's not a competition.
439
00:15:40,007 --> 00:15:42,718
If everybody could stop looking
at me, that'd be really great.
440
00:15:42,743 --> 00:15:44,124
If you guys wouldn't mind
just closing your eyes,
441
00:15:44,149 --> 00:15:45,715
as if you were at some sort of a show
442
00:15:45,740 --> 00:15:47,657
where you were asked to close your eyes.
443
00:15:47,682 --> 00:15:49,226
- What?
- Thank you.
444
00:15:50,935 --> 00:15:52,656
Do you mind looking down, sir?
445
00:15:53,872 --> 00:15:55,238
Nick.
446
00:15:55,901 --> 00:15:57,749
All of these are for sale.
447
00:16:04,414 --> 00:16:06,380
What's that? Yeah... coming.
448
00:16:09,395 --> 00:16:10,606
Is that it?
449
00:16:10,631 --> 00:16:11,762
Um...
450
00:16:13,274 --> 00:16:15,403
Don't worry about me, I live here now.
451
00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:21,112
All right, what are we
gonna do? What's the plan?
452
00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:24,907
Well, it helps if you
feed him something first.
453
00:16:25,290 --> 00:16:28,253
Do you have any meat? Or nuts?
454
00:16:28,322 --> 00:16:29,654
Why would I have come to the bookstore
455
00:16:29,723 --> 00:16:30,955
with meat and nuts in my purse?
456
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:32,712
- Okay. Caramels.
- I don't have that.
457
00:16:32,737 --> 00:16:34,132
All right. Just tell
him you believe in him,
458
00:16:34,157 --> 00:16:35,193
and that he can do this.
459
00:16:35,262 --> 00:16:36,976
Yeah. I'm not good at this.
460
00:16:37,001 --> 00:16:38,363
Obviously. So...
461
00:16:38,432 --> 00:16:41,094
what would you say,
Jess, if you were me?
462
00:16:43,151 --> 00:16:45,103
I would say...
463
00:16:48,385 --> 00:16:50,550
Nick, you're...
464
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:53,178
one of the most amazing
people I've ever met.
465
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:55,847
Everyone here is lucky
to hear your book,
466
00:16:55,916 --> 00:16:57,682
because it's a part of you.
467
00:16:57,759 --> 00:16:59,667
And if you fail,
468
00:16:59,692 --> 00:17:01,556
it doesn't change how special you are.
469
00:17:01,581 --> 00:17:04,471
And no matter what happens here,
470
00:17:05,221 --> 00:17:06,753
I'll always love you.
471
00:17:08,362 --> 00:17:10,260
Or something like that.
472
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,858
That made me tear up a little bit.
473
00:17:12,883 --> 00:17:15,018
- I'm gonna use that.
- Okay.
474
00:17:18,353 --> 00:17:19,652
Hi, Nick.
475
00:17:19,940 --> 00:17:21,306
What are you doing?
476
00:17:21,375 --> 00:17:23,541
I'm just hanging out in
here. I'm just taking a break.
477
00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:26,276
Just, just having a moment... yeah.
478
00:17:26,301 --> 00:17:28,323
Hey. No. You are...
479
00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:30,868
you are amazing.
480
00:17:30,893 --> 00:17:32,250
And you, you're,
481
00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:34,290
you're, uh, special boy.
482
00:17:34,315 --> 00:17:35,653
Like, uh, um...
483
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:38,526
you know, you... like,
uh, you're, you are...
484
00:17:38,651 --> 00:17:40,651
very special, you know what I'm saying.
485
00:17:40,676 --> 00:17:42,494
Uh, and let me start over.
486
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,128
Nick.
487
00:17:45,641 --> 00:17:47,408
I believe in you.
488
00:17:52,246 --> 00:17:53,935
Hey, this thing's awesome.
489
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:55,359
Did that guy write this?
490
00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:57,308
Yeah. He sure did.
491
00:17:57,377 --> 00:17:58,985
There's a sadness about him.
492
00:17:59,010 --> 00:18:00,076
I know what you mean.
493
00:18:00,101 --> 00:18:02,082
Oh, there's movement.
494
00:18:07,410 --> 00:18:10,660
Sorry about that. Uh,
that was some weird stuff.
495
00:18:12,207 --> 00:18:15,518
"The sun baked down on Pepperwood's back
496
00:18:15,543 --> 00:18:18,644
"as he moved over to the
St. Charles streetcar.
497
00:18:19,082 --> 00:18:21,699
"The driver handed
him a brown paper sack.
498
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:25,215
"Without opening it,
Pepperwood knew what was inside:
499
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:27,639
"blood-soaked beignets."
500
00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:28,973
He is so dreamy.
501
00:18:29,042 --> 00:18:31,676
Oh, your life's gonna be so hard.
502
00:18:40,575 --> 00:18:42,777
Okay, Bishop, what is happening?
503
00:18:42,802 --> 00:18:45,075
- Do you really need a spare?
- Oh, I got a spare.
504
00:18:45,364 --> 00:18:47,892
A spare cactus.
505
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:49,419
Oh, my God.
506
00:18:49,582 --> 00:18:52,778
I planted it in this
spot that is perfect.
507
00:18:53,216 --> 00:18:55,224
You see, the cactus is common,
508
00:18:55,249 --> 00:18:57,511
but the company is not.
509
00:18:57,536 --> 00:19:00,083
- Hello, beautiful.
- It's perfect.
510
00:19:02,161 --> 00:19:03,860
Come on.
511
00:19:07,052 --> 00:19:08,200
We should probably just
give them their privacy.
512
00:19:08,225 --> 00:19:09,239
Yeah, you're right, you're right.
513
00:19:09,264 --> 00:19:11,173
- Holy hell. He's doing it.
- Oh, my God, oh, my God.
514
00:19:11,218 --> 00:19:13,051
- Oh, my God, oh, my God.
- He's on a knee, here we go.
515
00:19:13,086 --> 00:19:15,309
- It's happening.
- Game time.
516
00:19:15,723 --> 00:19:18,099
It's a shoelace. False alarm.
517
00:19:18,890 --> 00:19:20,089
Okay, now here it is.
518
00:19:20,114 --> 00:19:21,759
Here it is. It's happening.
519
00:19:21,784 --> 00:19:23,505
That is a ring.
520
00:19:24,322 --> 00:19:25,927
I don't think that's a ring.
521
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:29,380
Is he giving her a gummy vitamin?
522
00:19:29,692 --> 00:19:31,888
Okay, this is it, this is it.
523
00:19:32,341 --> 00:19:33,644
And the other shoe?
524
00:19:33,669 --> 00:19:35,607
That's why I double knot his laces.
525
00:19:35,935 --> 00:19:37,702
You know what? Let's stop
asking questions. Who knows?
526
00:19:37,771 --> 00:19:40,271
- It's... their date. It's their date.
- What is this?
527
00:19:42,622 --> 00:19:44,652
Hey. You guys can take off now.
528
00:19:44,677 --> 00:19:47,269
Of course. You want to be alone
for when you pop the question.
529
00:19:47,294 --> 00:19:48,724
- Got it.
- Wait. What?
530
00:19:48,749 --> 00:19:50,548
We're so excited for the both of you.
531
00:19:50,617 --> 00:19:52,778
Oh. Oh, you thought I
was gonna propose today?
532
00:19:52,803 --> 00:19:55,486
No. Yo, that's hilarious.
533
00:19:55,770 --> 00:19:57,075
What do you mean it's not today?
534
00:19:57,100 --> 00:19:59,856
No. This is just phase one... of 20.
535
00:20:00,093 --> 00:20:01,357
- What?
- What?
536
00:20:01,382 --> 00:20:02,386
Yeah.
537
00:20:02,411 --> 00:20:03,751
We went through all of this
538
00:20:03,776 --> 00:20:06,210
for a non-proposal cactus picnic?
539
00:20:06,235 --> 00:20:07,290
Damn it, Winston.
540
00:20:07,315 --> 00:20:10,449
My girl deserves the
grandest proposal ever, okay?
541
00:20:10,474 --> 00:20:12,374
And that cannot be rushed.
542
00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:16,073
- That is actually sweet.
- That's not sweet.
543
00:20:16,142 --> 00:20:17,905
I te... Here's a phase for you:
544
00:20:17,930 --> 00:20:19,610
when I throw you off
the cliff into the ocean.
545
00:20:19,679 --> 00:20:21,040
- Okay.
- Hey, look, don't worry.
546
00:20:21,072 --> 00:20:22,985
For the next 20 weeks, I've
only got you helping out
547
00:20:23,010 --> 00:20:25,423
with odd-numbered phases, okay?
548
00:20:25,448 --> 00:20:27,555
And there will be sub-phases, obviously.
549
00:20:27,580 --> 00:20:28,812
I ain't doing no sub-phases.
550
00:20:28,837 --> 00:20:31,484
Think of them as annoyingly elaborate...
551
00:20:31,509 --> 00:20:33,235
smaller phases.
552
00:20:33,462 --> 00:20:35,293
He's really pushing
his limits right now.
553
00:20:35,938 --> 00:20:38,029
Thank you so much for
your help. One phase down.
554
00:20:38,097 --> 00:20:40,001
- Boop.
- Don't boop him.
555
00:20:40,026 --> 00:20:42,711
Just one. I wish we sold just one.
556
00:20:42,750 --> 00:20:44,101
Hey. You did great.
557
00:20:44,170 --> 00:20:47,453
Nick. I'd like to introduce
you to your number one fan.
558
00:20:47,478 --> 00:20:49,313
Hey. I really enjoyed what you read,
559
00:20:49,338 --> 00:20:52,022
and hearing it and how
the characters were good,
560
00:20:52,047 --> 00:20:53,211
and how your face looks,
561
00:20:53,279 --> 00:20:55,825
- and I want to hold it...
- All right. Keep it cool, keep it cool.
562
00:20:55,872 --> 00:20:57,271
I think Mariah would like
563
00:20:57,303 --> 00:20:59,779
to buy a copy of the book.
564
00:20:59,804 --> 00:21:01,114
- You want to buy one?
- Yes.
565
00:21:01,139 --> 00:21:02,536
How much ya got?
566
00:21:02,864 --> 00:21:03,872
A dollar.
567
00:21:03,897 --> 00:21:05,747
Well, the purchase
price is $12.95, so...
568
00:21:05,772 --> 00:21:07,982
- I'm comfortable with the dollar.
- Okay, fine. A dollar's fine.
569
00:21:08,007 --> 00:21:09,138
Good deal.
570
00:21:09,163 --> 00:21:11,036
The signature's free with the dollar.
571
00:21:14,544 --> 00:21:16,162
- There you go.
- Thank you.
572
00:21:16,187 --> 00:21:18,193
Don't read it all in one place.
573
00:21:19,091 --> 00:21:20,471
- You okay, Nick?
- Yeah.
574
00:21:20,540 --> 00:21:21,606
Just concerned about...
575
00:21:21,631 --> 00:21:23,122
- The shed scene.
- ... the shed scene.
576
00:21:23,147 --> 00:21:24,346
But I don't remember the shed scene.
577
00:21:24,371 --> 00:21:26,031
You don't remember the shed scene?
578
00:21:26,056 --> 00:21:27,102
I don't remember it.
579
00:21:27,146 --> 00:21:29,420
It's an incredibly graphic sexual scene.
580
00:21:29,445 --> 00:21:32,212
- That's not good.
- Disgustingly sexual.
581
00:21:32,427 --> 00:21:33,584
Who cares?
582
00:21:33,653 --> 00:21:35,215
- My first sale.
- Congratulations.
583
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:36,834
- I did it.
- Yeah, Nick!
584
00:21:36,859 --> 00:21:37,870
Yeah, me!
585
00:21:37,895 --> 00:21:40,794
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com