1
00:00:00,237 --> 00:00:01,447
So, I've got it all planned out.
2
00:00:01,472 --> 00:00:03,198
I'm gonna surprise Nick
at his book reading,
3
00:00:03,268 --> 00:00:05,336
and afterwards, when he's on a big high,
4
00:00:05,361 --> 00:00:07,512
I'm gonna tell him how I feel.
5
00:00:07,547 --> 00:00:10,048
You think this is a little soon
after the breakup with Reagan?
6
00:00:10,083 --> 00:00:11,174
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
7
00:00:11,199 --> 00:00:13,151
I'm worried, very worried.
8
00:00:13,175 --> 00:00:14,800
But you know what, I wrote
everything out on the plane,
9
00:00:14,835 --> 00:00:16,101
like what I'm gonna say.
10
00:00:16,136 --> 00:00:18,451
It's all on flash cards,
some of it's in song,
11
00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:20,281
I would do it for you, but...
12
00:00:20,306 --> 00:00:21,813
some of the jokes are at your expense,
13
00:00:21,838 --> 00:00:22,842
so, uh...
14
00:00:22,867 --> 00:00:25,283
Jess, why don't you just
tell him how you feel?
15
00:00:25,308 --> 00:00:28,714
You know, no jokes, no
songs, just from the heart.
16
00:00:30,982 --> 00:00:32,691
No songs.
17
00:00:32,716 --> 00:00:34,707
Yeah. No songs.
18
00:00:34,731 --> 00:00:36,764
No songs, she said.
19
00:00:37,091 --> 00:00:38,424
- "Pepperwood lay on the ground
- _
20
00:00:38,449 --> 00:00:40,167
"in a puddle of blood.
21
00:00:40,202 --> 00:00:43,726
"Jessica Night broke through the
barricades and ran to his side.
22
00:00:43,751 --> 00:00:45,551
"'Even though he doesn't have muscles,
23
00:00:45,586 --> 00:00:48,487
"he seems incredibly
strong' Jessica thought,
24
00:00:48,523 --> 00:00:51,019
"as she looked into
his perfect, sexy face.
25
00:00:51,044 --> 00:00:52,919
"Even now, even covered
26
00:00:52,944 --> 00:00:55,861
"in the blood of the man
they both knew as Schmith,
27
00:00:55,897 --> 00:00:59,548
"the two sat in silence in
the hot, New Orleans night,
28
00:00:59,573 --> 00:01:02,440
"waiting for the words
that would never come."
29
00:01:08,862 --> 00:01:10,953
I'm gonna open up the
floor to some questions.
30
00:01:10,978 --> 00:01:13,111
Uh, the young lady right here
in the strange-looking vest.
31
00:01:13,136 --> 00:01:14,235
No offense.
32
00:01:14,260 --> 00:01:16,837
When are Pepperwood and Jessica
Night going to get together?
33
00:01:16,862 --> 00:01:18,671
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- That is a great question.
34
00:01:20,961 --> 00:01:22,709
I'll just cut to it, guys.
35
00:01:22,734 --> 00:01:26,959
Uh, Pepperwood and Jessica Night
will never get together. Never.
36
00:01:29,009 --> 00:01:30,396
I'm sorry. You guys, stop.
37
00:01:30,431 --> 00:01:32,998
It's just, look, these characters,
38
00:01:33,034 --> 00:01:35,259
they-they are based off real people.
39
00:01:35,284 --> 00:01:37,526
A-and the real people...
40
00:01:37,551 --> 00:01:39,790
are just fundamentally different.
41
00:01:39,815 --> 00:01:41,574
They don't work together.
42
00:01:41,609 --> 00:01:43,442
It's just never gonna happen.
43
00:01:44,213 --> 00:01:45,578
- You just got to forget about it.
- Excuse me.
44
00:01:45,613 --> 00:01:46,979
Move on from it.
45
00:01:50,079 --> 00:01:52,618
And also, you know,
Pepperwood, he blew it.
46
00:01:52,653 --> 00:01:55,141
Sometimes you don't get
another chance, you know,
47
00:01:55,166 --> 00:01:56,322
to-to fix the mistake.
48
00:01:56,347 --> 00:01:58,023
It's just... look, adult relationships
49
00:01:58,059 --> 00:01:59,158
are really complicated.
50
00:01:59,193 --> 00:02:01,087
So, let's hear it for books!
51
00:02:03,364 --> 00:02:06,400
All right, wow, you
guys are super intense.
52
00:02:06,425 --> 00:02:09,963
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com
53
00:02:11,681 --> 00:02:12,805
Hi.
54
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:14,861
- I'm Merle Streep.
- I don't care.
55
00:02:14,886 --> 00:02:18,354
Okay. Um, I'm an editor and
I publish children's books,
56
00:02:18,379 --> 00:02:19,712
- so I wanted...
- Oh, congratulations to you.
57
00:02:19,747 --> 00:02:20,806
What would you like me to do about that?
58
00:02:20,831 --> 00:02:22,793
Uh, I'm about to make a call, so...
59
00:02:22,818 --> 00:02:24,533
Nice to meet you, Merle Streep.
60
00:02:24,558 --> 00:02:27,497
- Goofy name. Okay.
- I'll... I'll... okay.
61
00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:37,344
- Hey, Nick.
- Hey, this is crazy,
62
00:02:37,369 --> 00:02:39,396
but were you just at my reading?
63
00:02:39,421 --> 00:02:40,530
You're not in L.A., are you?
64
00:02:40,555 --> 00:02:43,118
No, I'm in Portland with my dad.
65
00:02:43,143 --> 00:02:45,065
- That's what I thought.
- How'd the reading go?
66
00:02:45,090 --> 00:02:46,211
Couldn't have gone better.
67
00:02:46,246 --> 00:02:48,113
I felt weirdly comfortable up there.
68
00:02:48,148 --> 00:02:50,365
- I'm so proud of you.
- Thanks.
69
00:02:54,027 --> 00:02:55,927
Reagan and I broke up.
70
00:02:55,952 --> 00:02:57,122
I got to go.
71
00:02:57,157 --> 00:02:59,567
Oh, my dad just sprained his thumb
72
00:02:59,592 --> 00:03:01,326
trying to get up off a couch.
73
00:03:01,362 --> 00:03:03,314
I'll talk to you later, Nick.
74
00:03:03,980 --> 00:03:06,063
Sorry. So, is now a
good time to talk to you?
75
00:03:06,088 --> 00:03:08,048
Because I'd like to talk to
you about publishing your book.
76
00:03:08,073 --> 00:03:09,470
You'd like to talk to me about what?
77
00:03:09,495 --> 00:03:10,661
Publishing your book.
78
00:03:10,686 --> 00:03:12,319
What are you, some
kind of a-a publisher?
79
00:03:12,344 --> 00:03:13,393
Yeah, that's what my card...
80
00:03:13,418 --> 00:03:15,107
I was trying to give
you my card, but you...
81
00:03:15,142 --> 00:03:17,063
- You want to publish my book?
- Yeah.
82
00:03:17,088 --> 00:03:19,188
Yeah, I want you to publish my book.
83
00:03:19,213 --> 00:03:21,346
- Is this how you normally are?
- No.
84
00:03:23,913 --> 00:03:26,118
Babe, hi. Are your pants off?
85
00:03:26,143 --> 00:03:28,340
I... I went to the reading and...
86
00:03:28,365 --> 00:03:29,551
Oh, no, what happened?
87
00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:31,333
I'm so sorry I'm not wearing pants.
88
00:03:31,358 --> 00:03:32,714
Schmidt's been so busy with work,
89
00:03:32,739 --> 00:03:34,793
we scheduled a no-pants dinner thing.
90
00:03:34,828 --> 00:03:37,329
Do you want me to
take my pants off, too?
91
00:03:37,364 --> 00:03:39,512
Oh, no, honey. Tell me everything.
92
00:03:39,739 --> 00:03:41,767
That's it. I'm all moved in.
93
00:03:41,802 --> 00:03:45,203
This is my last box and it's
labeled "holiday important."
94
00:03:45,239 --> 00:03:47,305
So, it's definitely sex toys.
95
00:03:47,341 --> 00:03:49,474
Well, then I wonder what's in this box.
96
00:03:49,510 --> 00:03:51,058
It's labeled "documents."
97
00:03:51,083 --> 00:03:53,312
Eh, it's just documents.
98
00:03:53,337 --> 00:03:54,495
Oh, no, no, no. That's nothing.
99
00:03:54,548 --> 00:03:56,839
- I...
- Wait, wait, wait.
100
00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:00,352
You have a mug shot
of the diaper bandit?
101
00:04:00,387 --> 00:04:02,354
- With a phone number on the back?
- All right.
102
00:04:02,389 --> 00:04:05,357
Listen, I-I wanted to wait for
the right time to tell you this.
103
00:04:05,392 --> 00:04:06,725
Have you been keeping in
touch with the diaper bandit?
104
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:09,423
What? No. No, listen. I...
105
00:04:09,448 --> 00:04:13,098
That's actually your dad's phone number.
106
00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:17,704
You said you wanted to find him, so...
107
00:04:18,595 --> 00:04:19,994
I found him.
108
00:04:26,688 --> 00:04:28,680
My dad is the diaper bandit?
109
00:04:28,716 --> 00:04:30,048
- No.
- Oh.
110
00:04:30,073 --> 00:04:32,517
- Forget about the diaper bandit.
- That'd have been weird.
111
00:04:42,529 --> 00:04:43,662
Cece...
112
00:04:43,697 --> 00:04:46,472
I'm not wearing any pants.
113
00:04:47,303 --> 00:04:48,345
Honey.
114
00:04:48,370 --> 00:04:50,468
Oh, no! Oh, no!
115
00:04:50,504 --> 00:04:51,903
I touched one of your
breasts! Where is my wife?!
116
00:04:51,938 --> 00:04:53,386
I can never be the same!
117
00:04:55,358 --> 00:04:57,591
- Let's just move on.
- I'm fine. No, it's fine.
118
00:04:57,616 --> 00:04:59,936
I panicked, and I told
him I was in Portland,
119
00:04:59,961 --> 00:05:02,145
and now I can't go back to the loft.
120
00:05:02,170 --> 00:05:03,170
To play devil's advocate,
121
00:05:03,195 --> 00:05:05,365
he was just talking about
characters in his novel.
122
00:05:05,390 --> 00:05:07,129
I mean, look, the character based on me
123
00:05:07,154 --> 00:05:10,340
is a Jewish psychopath
who wears a bolo tie
124
00:05:10,365 --> 00:05:12,637
and eats applesauce
out of a baboon's skull.
125
00:05:12,662 --> 00:05:14,462
No, he was talking about us.
126
00:05:14,487 --> 00:05:16,521
He just doesn't feel the way I feel.
127
00:05:16,546 --> 00:05:19,106
I... I can't see him.
128
00:05:19,131 --> 00:05:22,093
Hey, it's me, Nick. In three, two...
129
00:05:22,118 --> 00:05:23,426
- Hang on, wrong key.
- Get in the kitchen.
130
00:05:23,451 --> 00:05:25,438
- Go, shoo, scram.
- That was for my chest drawer.
131
00:05:27,929 --> 00:05:29,456
- Got it.
- My man.
132
00:05:31,460 --> 00:05:33,060
I don't love this couch.
133
00:05:33,096 --> 00:05:34,460
Did you take the tags off already?
134
00:05:34,485 --> 00:05:35,960
It's the perfect couch.
What are you doing here?
135
00:05:35,985 --> 00:05:38,249
Well, I need to talk to you and
my phone's only at five percent.
136
00:05:38,274 --> 00:05:39,974
- Well, why didn't you...
- I can't find the charger.
137
00:05:39,999 --> 00:05:41,703
- It's under Winston's pillow.
- I looked in Winston's room.
138
00:05:41,728 --> 00:05:43,888
- Did you look under the pillow?
- Yeah, yeah. I...
139
00:05:43,913 --> 00:05:45,109
- Yeah. I went in there. I...
- No, you didn't.
140
00:05:45,134 --> 00:05:47,826
I didn't look in Winston's
room, but I need to talk to you.
141
00:05:47,851 --> 00:05:49,962
An editor wants to publish my book.
142
00:05:49,987 --> 00:05:51,815
Pass immediately and
start a bidding war.
143
00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:53,394
I'm getting ahead of myself. Mazel.
144
00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:55,212
- That's incredible, Nick.
- Thanks.
145
00:05:55,237 --> 00:05:56,871
I called Jess, but she didn't answer.
146
00:05:56,896 --> 00:05:58,763
I was really hoping to
tell her about it, but...
147
00:05:58,788 --> 00:06:00,554
she hung up on me earlier and
now she won't pick up the phone.
148
00:06:00,588 --> 00:06:02,674
- What are you doing?
- Shh! Shh, shh!
149
00:06:02,699 --> 00:06:04,319
What, what, what?
150
00:06:05,128 --> 00:06:07,194
- Oh, Nick's here?
- Shh! You're yelling.
151
00:06:07,219 --> 00:06:08,522
- I'm not yelling.
- You're yelling.
152
00:06:08,547 --> 00:06:10,064
You're coming with me
to the meeting tomorrow.
153
00:06:10,099 --> 00:06:11,705
I'm picking you up at 9:00 A.M.
154
00:06:13,102 --> 00:06:15,311
- I have to go to the kitchen.
- I'll come with. I'm starving.
155
00:06:15,336 --> 00:06:16,827
No. Where are you...
156
00:06:16,852 --> 00:06:19,170
Come to the kitchen with me then, Nick.
157
00:06:20,202 --> 00:06:21,622
Wait, why are you crawling?
158
00:06:21,647 --> 00:06:23,479
I don't know. Just go.
159
00:06:27,265 --> 00:06:28,376
Hey, do you have any...
160
00:06:28,401 --> 00:06:29,806
angel hair pasta in
here? I don't see it.
161
00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:31,158
Ooh, you know what? Uh....
162
00:06:31,183 --> 00:06:32,720
excuse me, I have to
go to the bedroom now.
163
00:06:34,424 --> 00:06:35,768
Jess, this is very stressful.
164
00:06:35,793 --> 00:06:38,213
I know. Look, tomorrow, you need
to go to that meeting with Nick
165
00:06:38,238 --> 00:06:40,472
and you need to stay
with him until I'm packed.
166
00:06:40,518 --> 00:06:42,704
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, packed?
- I just army-crawled...
167
00:06:42,729 --> 00:06:45,729
across your entire house to
get away from my ex-boyfriend...
168
00:06:45,957 --> 00:06:47,857
... who I still live with.
169
00:06:47,892 --> 00:06:50,107
I-I can't do this anymore.
170
00:06:50,132 --> 00:06:53,615
I need, I need to get out
of here and get some space.
171
00:06:54,999 --> 00:06:56,599
I'm moving out of the loft.
172
00:06:56,634 --> 00:06:57,849
What?
173
00:07:00,833 --> 00:07:02,224
I couldn't find your trash bin,
174
00:07:02,249 --> 00:07:03,606
so I threw it away in the toilet.
175
00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:05,591
- What'd you throw in the toilet?
- The, uh, salami in the fridge.
176
00:07:05,616 --> 00:07:07,535
- What?
- I didn't flush it.
177
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,252
So, you're gonna have a bunch of salami
178
00:07:09,277 --> 00:07:11,072
floating around in your toilet bowl.
179
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:12,376
What?
180
00:07:14,792 --> 00:07:16,058
So Jess is just moving out
181
00:07:16,093 --> 00:07:18,831
because Nick said
something dumb at a reading?
182
00:07:18,857 --> 00:07:20,757
Nick is always dumb. He's
the dumbest boy in school.
183
00:07:20,792 --> 00:07:22,359
I had no idea you cared so much about
184
00:07:22,394 --> 00:07:23,923
what happens to Nick and Jess.
185
00:07:23,948 --> 00:07:25,516
How could I not? I've
been watching these idiots
186
00:07:25,541 --> 00:07:27,270
do this dance for the last six years.
187
00:07:27,295 --> 00:07:29,782
He's rough and tumble.
She's sweet and sassy.
188
00:07:29,807 --> 00:07:31,785
It's the moon and the tides,
it's the push and the pull.
189
00:07:31,810 --> 00:07:34,090
I know, it just makes so much sense.
190
00:07:34,115 --> 00:07:35,886
I'm gonna go tell him
that she loves him.
191
00:07:36,106 --> 00:07:37,338
I'm gonna go tell him
that she loves him,
192
00:07:37,363 --> 00:07:38,571
I'm gonna burst in the
door, and I'm gonna say,
193
00:07:38,596 --> 00:07:39,667
"Nick, she loves you," and then...
194
00:07:39,692 --> 00:07:42,262
No, no, no, no, no, no,
no. We cannot get involved.
195
00:07:42,287 --> 00:07:43,410
Okay.
196
00:07:43,435 --> 00:07:44,527
- Okay?
- You're right.
197
00:07:44,552 --> 00:07:46,098
- You're right, okay.
- All right. Okay.
198
00:07:48,215 --> 00:07:50,331
- I should've worn shorts.
- No, no.
199
00:07:50,356 --> 00:07:51,689
I would've looked amazing in shorts.
200
00:07:51,724 --> 00:07:54,225
I got rid of all the
shorts, you nut-ball.
201
00:07:54,684 --> 00:07:56,827
You are really grumpy this morning.
202
00:07:56,871 --> 00:07:59,081
Well, I was up late last night,
203
00:07:59,106 --> 00:08:01,432
- talking to Cece about you.
- For what?
204
00:08:01,457 --> 00:08:03,878
Nick, I want to tell
you something, but...
205
00:08:04,955 --> 00:08:06,112
but I can't.
206
00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:07,883
So I'm just gonna ask you this:
207
00:08:07,908 --> 00:08:09,840
why on earth...
208
00:08:09,876 --> 00:08:12,526
do you think that you are so okay...
209
00:08:12,551 --> 00:08:13,651
with this Reagan breakup?
210
00:08:13,676 --> 00:08:15,596
Reagan and I are at
different places of our life.
211
00:08:15,621 --> 00:08:17,604
It's fine. Why hasn't
Jess called me back?
212
00:08:17,629 --> 00:08:18,794
You guys are pretty good friends, right?
213
00:08:18,819 --> 00:08:20,584
But if you remember correctly,
214
00:08:20,620 --> 00:08:22,586
you didn't even want Jess
to move in to the loft.
215
00:08:22,622 --> 00:08:23,904
Nick, why do you think that is?
216
00:08:23,929 --> 00:08:25,927
I'm pretty freaked out
by sanitary napkins.
217
00:08:25,952 --> 00:08:28,341
Why don't you think you wanted
Jess to move in to the loft?
218
00:08:28,366 --> 00:08:31,112
I don't know, 'cause
I, 'cause I was afraid.
219
00:08:31,810 --> 00:08:33,864
Nick, you have been
in love with this girl
220
00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:35,966
from the moment you opened the door
221
00:08:35,991 --> 00:08:37,903
and you first laid eyes on her.
222
00:08:38,441 --> 00:08:41,562
I have never seen you
look at anyone else...
223
00:08:41,603 --> 00:08:43,247
like that in my entire life.
224
00:08:43,286 --> 00:08:45,466
Except maybe, on a few occasions, me.
225
00:08:45,491 --> 00:08:47,216
I've never looked at you
the same way I look at Jess.
226
00:08:47,241 --> 00:08:49,508
- There's been a few times.
- I... there's never been a time.
227
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,269
You looked at Coach maybe
once or twice like that.
228
00:08:51,294 --> 00:08:53,761
Me, several times. Winston,
never. Let's table it.
229
00:08:53,786 --> 00:08:55,013
You're wrong.
230
00:08:55,038 --> 00:08:57,091
The first time I saw Jess...
231
00:08:57,116 --> 00:08:59,044
was I was standing in her empty room,
232
00:08:59,069 --> 00:09:00,379
and I was looking out the window.
233
00:09:00,404 --> 00:09:02,092
- She was trying to get in the building.
- Okay.
234
00:09:02,117 --> 00:09:03,887
Pretty hilarious. She
didn't have her glasses on,
235
00:09:03,912 --> 00:09:05,295
and she was bumping into stuff.
236
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:07,119
Will you listen to yourself?
237
00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:10,178
I shouldn't be telling you this, but...
238
00:09:11,452 --> 00:09:13,771
Jess is not in Portland. She's here.
239
00:09:13,810 --> 00:09:15,759
And she's packing up her stuff because
240
00:09:15,794 --> 00:09:18,530
she's going to move out
of the loft for good.
241
00:09:18,555 --> 00:09:19,746
Nick.
242
00:09:19,771 --> 00:09:21,250
Wait, she's gonna move out of the loft?
243
00:09:21,275 --> 00:09:24,459
For once in your life, don't be afraid.
244
00:09:26,154 --> 00:09:28,048
Ready to come in and talk?
245
00:09:32,367 --> 00:09:35,133
Hello. I'm, uh, Winston Schmidt,
246
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:37,023
Nick's associate. That's right.
247
00:09:37,048 --> 00:09:39,617
Children's literature
just got a brand-new daddy.
248
00:09:39,642 --> 00:09:40,773
What?
249
00:09:40,798 --> 00:09:43,854
Children's literature
just got a brand-new daddy.
250
00:09:43,967 --> 00:09:46,820
Don't say that here
anymore, okay? Thank you.
251
00:09:49,733 --> 00:09:50,952
So sorry I'm late,
252
00:09:50,996 --> 00:09:53,912
but Sadie would not stop
going on about her divorce,
253
00:09:53,937 --> 00:09:55,248
and I was like, "Girl,
can you just be quiet
254
00:09:55,273 --> 00:09:56,303
"and look at my vagina, please?"
255
00:09:56,327 --> 00:09:58,083
The fact that we have
the same gynecologist
256
00:09:58,108 --> 00:09:59,615
really makes me feel closer to you.
257
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:00,962
Wait, is this all you have packed?
258
00:10:00,987 --> 00:10:02,727
I mean, Nick's gonna
be here in two hours.
259
00:10:02,752 --> 00:10:04,392
- I know.
- Hey.
260
00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:06,197
You know what? If this
is too hard right now,
261
00:10:06,222 --> 00:10:07,571
you don't have to do this.
262
00:10:07,596 --> 00:10:10,179
Just give yourself some
time and think it through.
263
00:10:10,211 --> 00:10:12,922
If my stuff is here, I'll
just end up living here again.
264
00:10:12,947 --> 00:10:15,532
You know me; I live
where my stuff lives.
265
00:10:15,557 --> 00:10:16,991
When I come back for the school year,
266
00:10:17,016 --> 00:10:19,163
I'll... find a new place.
267
00:10:19,546 --> 00:10:20,931
All right. Well, if we're gonna do this,
268
00:10:20,956 --> 00:10:22,119
then we better get moving.
269
00:10:22,144 --> 00:10:23,619
Yep. My God, I'm gonna miss you so much.
270
00:10:23,644 --> 00:10:25,578
I'm gonna miss you so much, too.
271
00:10:25,603 --> 00:10:26,822
But it's just one summer. It's fine.
272
00:10:26,847 --> 00:10:28,173
Okay, I know, but I'm
just gonna miss you.
273
00:10:28,198 --> 00:10:29,502
Me, too.
274
00:10:29,527 --> 00:10:30,791
- This is dumb!
- It's one summer.
275
00:10:30,816 --> 00:10:31,932
- It's one summer.
- It's one summer. It's fine.
276
00:10:31,957 --> 00:10:33,437
We can get through
one summer. It's fine.
277
00:10:33,462 --> 00:10:34,601
I'm gonna miss you, like, day-to-day.
278
00:10:34,636 --> 00:10:36,330
Who am I gonna talk to every day?
279
00:10:38,664 --> 00:10:41,274
Mine, mine... is this mine?
280
00:10:41,315 --> 00:10:42,519
Are you collecting things for Goodwill?
281
00:10:42,544 --> 00:10:44,766
I'm not donating things, I'm moving out.
282
00:10:44,791 --> 00:10:45,823
What?
283
00:10:45,848 --> 00:10:48,469
Look, I'm just going to Portland
for the summer to get away.
284
00:10:48,494 --> 00:10:50,894
Sure. You go to Portland,
have a fun summer,
285
00:10:50,919 --> 00:10:52,619
but then what about after that?
286
00:10:52,844 --> 00:10:55,116
Huh? When will we see you?
287
00:10:55,141 --> 00:10:57,057
Who will your friends be?
Who you gonna hang out with?
288
00:10:57,092 --> 00:10:58,592
Okay, think about the people
you are leaving behind.
289
00:10:58,627 --> 00:11:01,280
Also, side note, Aly
has my dad's number!
290
00:11:01,305 --> 00:11:03,017
- Okay.
- Wait, what?
291
00:11:03,042 --> 00:11:05,699
- I got his dad's number.
- My dad's name is Van, by the way.
292
00:11:05,724 --> 00:11:07,983
Oh, my God, Winston, that's a huge deal!
293
00:11:08,018 --> 00:11:10,399
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Are you gonna call him?
294
00:11:13,479 --> 00:11:14,852
No.
295
00:11:16,297 --> 00:11:18,610
I can't call my dad. I just can't.
296
00:11:18,635 --> 00:11:19,805
You know what?
297
00:11:19,830 --> 00:11:21,556
You don't have to call
him if you don't want to.
298
00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:23,329
You can always just
escape to Portland...
299
00:11:23,354 --> 00:11:25,152
Oh, my God!
300
00:11:25,187 --> 00:11:27,268
You can come with me to Portland!
301
00:11:27,293 --> 00:11:28,504
Furgie's gonna love it.
302
00:11:28,529 --> 00:11:30,096
It's the second most
cat-friendly Portland
303
00:11:30,121 --> 00:11:32,136
after Portland, Maine,
according to Paws magazine.
304
00:11:32,161 --> 00:11:34,347
- Are you going to Portland?
- No.
305
00:11:34,372 --> 00:11:36,229
Portland is hella white.
306
00:11:39,028 --> 00:11:40,370
Ooh.
307
00:11:40,395 --> 00:11:41,721
Sadie.
308
00:11:41,903 --> 00:11:43,089
Hello.
309
00:11:43,114 --> 00:11:46,067
Cece, you're pregnant.
310
00:11:51,418 --> 00:11:52,997
Oh, my God...
311
00:11:53,022 --> 00:11:54,458
Cece's pregnant.
312
00:11:54,486 --> 00:11:56,535
Why are you picking up
someone else's phone?
313
00:11:56,560 --> 00:11:58,387
Call back in five
minutes, and we will agree
314
00:11:58,412 --> 00:12:00,801
to lie to our friend for
the rest of our lives.
315
00:12:00,855 --> 00:12:02,459
Oh, God. You're gonna be in my office
316
00:12:02,494 --> 00:12:03,660
throughout the pregnancy, aren't you?
317
00:12:04,863 --> 00:12:06,597
So I am double-parked,
so if you got any boxes
318
00:12:06,622 --> 00:12:08,175
I can take down to the car.
319
00:12:09,807 --> 00:12:11,940
What's up? Why are you so happy?
320
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:13,970
I just love boxes so much.
321
00:12:14,005 --> 00:12:15,191
Can I have one to take to the car?
322
00:12:15,216 --> 00:12:16,673
- It's heavy.
- I'm fine.
323
00:12:16,708 --> 00:12:19,127
Oh, okay. We can go
together. That's fine.
324
00:12:19,152 --> 00:12:20,677
I-I like quality time.
325
00:12:22,414 --> 00:12:24,314
- Oh, you should go get your phone.
- No, no, no.
326
00:12:24,349 --> 00:12:25,651
Let's just get this box down.
327
00:12:25,676 --> 00:12:27,217
- Okay.
- Hey, can someone grab my phone?
328
00:12:27,252 --> 00:12:30,284
What if it's about your
booming model business?
329
00:12:31,065 --> 00:12:33,173
- Hello?
- Cece, you're pregnant!
330
00:12:33,198 --> 00:12:34,933
Oh, my God, Cece's pregnant!
331
00:12:34,958 --> 00:12:36,542
- Who the hell is this?
- Cece's pregnant?
332
00:12:36,567 --> 00:12:38,461
Sorry. I-I'm Aly, Winston's fiancée.
333
00:12:38,497 --> 00:12:39,868
Cece is pregnant?
334
00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:41,951
- Winston's married to Cece.
- Winston Bishop.
335
00:12:41,976 --> 00:12:43,084
Cece's pregnant. Cece's pregnant.
336
00:12:43,109 --> 00:12:44,482
Oh, my God, Cece's pregnant, everybody!
337
00:12:44,507 --> 00:12:46,131
Oh, my God.
338
00:12:46,156 --> 00:12:47,388
No need to yell.
339
00:12:47,413 --> 00:12:49,205
Tell Cece to call me.
340
00:12:49,233 --> 00:12:51,107
Got to head back down in the mine.
341
00:12:51,552 --> 00:12:53,877
Hey, can we hustle? I got a
hair appointment in an hour.
342
00:12:53,912 --> 00:12:55,778
It's a real upstairs,
downstairs kind of day.
343
00:12:55,814 --> 00:12:57,146
Gotcha.
344
00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:04,487
What, Winston? I'm using social media.
345
00:13:04,523 --> 00:13:05,822
Oh, my God, Schmidt.
346
00:13:05,857 --> 00:13:07,506
Why didn't you tell me
you were gonna be a papa?
347
00:13:07,531 --> 00:13:08,625
No, no, no, no.
348
00:13:08,660 --> 00:13:10,059
What do you mean, "papa"?
What are you talking about?
349
00:13:10,095 --> 00:13:11,928
- Pull the plug.
- Sadie told Aly that Cece is pregnant.
350
00:13:11,963 --> 00:13:13,930
- Pull the... pull the plug.
- What? Why would she do that?
351
00:13:13,965 --> 00:13:16,583
- 'Cause she pregnant.
- Winston, he doesn't know.
352
00:13:18,419 --> 00:13:21,004
Oh, oh, oh, no...
353
00:13:21,029 --> 00:13:22,362
Ah...
354
00:13:22,397 --> 00:13:24,583
No... I messed up just now.
355
00:13:24,608 --> 00:13:25,638
W-Winston.
356
00:13:25,663 --> 00:13:27,441
You weren't supposed to know
that, so don't know that.
357
00:13:27,466 --> 00:13:29,700
- Is that true? What's going on?
- Hey, Schmidt. It's Jess.
358
00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:31,864
I'm so sorry. I picked up
Cece's phone, it was Sadie,
359
00:13:31,889 --> 00:13:34,694
and she told me the news, and
now everybody knows but Cece.
360
00:13:34,719 --> 00:13:36,263
So I'm gonna send her home.
361
00:13:36,288 --> 00:13:37,954
Okay, okay, but Jess, um...
362
00:13:38,107 --> 00:13:40,023
Plea...
363
00:13:40,419 --> 00:13:41,824
Is it true?
364
00:13:41,913 --> 00:13:43,546
Yeah. It's true.
365
00:13:43,872 --> 00:13:45,329
Just get home.
366
00:13:45,354 --> 00:13:47,020
She needs to hear it from you.
367
00:13:49,193 --> 00:13:50,764
Miracle of miracles!
368
00:13:50,789 --> 00:13:52,490
Finally got a parking spot.
369
00:13:52,677 --> 00:13:54,029
Why y'all just staring at me?
370
00:13:54,054 --> 00:13:56,129
Just really happy you found that spot.
371
00:13:56,154 --> 00:13:58,379
Man, people wait their whole
lives looking for a spot.
372
00:13:58,404 --> 00:13:59,653
Thank you.
373
00:13:59,678 --> 00:14:01,654
And here, you've been blessed.
374
00:14:02,782 --> 00:14:04,234
With a spot.
375
00:14:06,084 --> 00:14:08,351
Okay, so I do have a few changes.
376
00:14:08,386 --> 00:14:09,630
Take or leave.
377
00:14:09,655 --> 00:14:12,432
What if we kill off Jessica
Night in the next book?
378
00:14:12,457 --> 00:14:13,703
What?
379
00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:16,058
I was thinking that she could
be Schmith's next victim.
380
00:14:16,083 --> 00:14:17,380
We could do it in a big way,
381
00:14:17,405 --> 00:14:19,472
like, he drops a piano on her head.
382
00:14:19,505 --> 00:14:21,396
- Done-zo.
- What?
383
00:14:21,421 --> 00:14:23,443
Maybe she takes a
baseball right to the face.
384
00:14:23,468 --> 00:14:24,536
Batter out!
385
00:14:24,561 --> 00:14:26,685
- Have you ever done this before?
- Yes, actually.
386
00:14:26,710 --> 00:14:28,886
I published the entire
Bitch Witch series.
387
00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:31,316
Bitch Witch Christmas,
Bitch Witch Prom Night,
388
00:14:31,341 --> 00:14:33,857
- and Bitch Witches of Rhode Island.
- Yeah. Okay.
389
00:14:33,882 --> 00:14:35,946
Look, Nick, I-I get
390
00:14:35,971 --> 00:14:37,904
that you're afraid to make changes.
391
00:14:39,261 --> 00:14:41,038
Actually, I'm not afraid.
392
00:14:42,741 --> 00:14:45,163
Okay, then you'll think about it.
393
00:14:48,693 --> 00:14:50,426
No, I'm not gonna make those changes
394
00:14:50,451 --> 00:14:52,731
because those-those
ideas are really bad.
395
00:14:52,756 --> 00:14:54,397
- Well, I...
- Jessica Night is the whole reason
396
00:14:54,432 --> 00:14:57,300
Pepperwood gets out of bed every day.
397
00:14:57,542 --> 00:14:58,575
Schmidt?!
398
00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:00,647
You were right! Schmidt?
399
00:15:00,676 --> 00:15:01,858
Uh, he had to go,
400
00:15:01,883 --> 00:15:04,607
but he left the name and number
of his favorite Uber driver,
401
00:15:04,643 --> 00:15:07,014
uh, Beezus "The Man" Tequito.
402
00:15:07,212 --> 00:15:08,745
All right.
403
00:15:08,780 --> 00:15:10,179
Mr. Beezus.
404
00:15:10,215 --> 00:15:11,914
Mr. Schmidt likes to party.
405
00:15:11,950 --> 00:15:13,576
You like to party?
406
00:15:14,069 --> 00:15:15,618
Oh, very cool lights.
407
00:15:15,654 --> 00:15:18,194
But, no, uh, Beezus, I...
I don't like to party...
408
00:15:18,219 --> 00:15:19,989
It's not the first time I've heard that.
409
00:15:20,025 --> 00:15:21,124
I'm gonna go see a girl.
410
00:15:21,159 --> 00:15:23,009
- Oh, good for you.
- Yeah.
411
00:15:23,234 --> 00:15:24,579
Want to hear some music?
412
00:15:24,604 --> 00:15:26,470
Sure, yeah, that could be inspiring.
413
00:15:26,495 --> 00:15:28,064
♪ Hot cross buns ♪
414
00:15:28,099 --> 00:15:29,531
♪ Hot cross buns ♪
415
00:15:29,556 --> 00:15:31,234
♪ One a penny, two a penny ♪
416
00:15:31,269 --> 00:15:33,368
♪ Hot cross buns ♪
417
00:15:36,341 --> 00:15:37,713
Second chorus.
418
00:15:37,738 --> 00:15:39,142
♪ Hot cross buns ♪
419
00:15:39,177 --> 00:15:40,322
Yeah, I cannot believe
Schmidt likes this.
420
00:15:40,347 --> 00:15:41,633
♪ Good when they're old ♪
421
00:15:41,658 --> 00:15:42,908
♪ But eat them when you can ♪
422
00:15:42,933 --> 00:15:45,762
♪ They're not as good
when they're cold ♪
423
00:15:45,787 --> 00:15:47,587
♪ Hot cross buns ♪
424
00:15:54,422 --> 00:15:56,881
Last box in the truck. Mm.
425
00:15:56,929 --> 00:15:59,326
I haven't seen this room
this empty since Steve left.
426
00:15:59,351 --> 00:16:00,474
Who's Steve?
427
00:16:00,499 --> 00:16:02,496
Oh, he was the guy who lived
in this room before Jess.
428
00:16:02,521 --> 00:16:03,923
Real night screamer.
429
00:16:03,948 --> 00:16:06,560
He couldn't sleep unless he was
screaming a whole bunch. Yeah.
430
00:16:06,585 --> 00:16:08,951
Oh, I guess I should give you my keys.
431
00:16:08,976 --> 00:16:11,365
Are you really not gonna
tell Nick how you feel?
432
00:16:12,754 --> 00:16:14,687
That's such a Steve move.
433
00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:15,826
Steve was in love with Nick?
434
00:16:15,851 --> 00:16:17,771
Oh, yeah, and he never told him.
435
00:16:17,796 --> 00:16:19,646
That... sweet, gay coward.
436
00:16:19,671 --> 00:16:22,305
Maybe Steve left this place and-and...
437
00:16:22,403 --> 00:16:25,676
and finally got the
space that he needed to...
438
00:16:25,701 --> 00:16:27,704
become a better version of himself.
439
00:16:27,729 --> 00:16:29,122
Yeah, I mean, he's selling
tires in Little Rock.
440
00:16:29,147 --> 00:16:31,648
Okay, well, forget Steve.
Look, I know I'm being a coward.
441
00:16:31,673 --> 00:16:33,294
Jess, I know you.
442
00:16:33,802 --> 00:16:35,927
You can't walk away
without talking to him.
443
00:16:35,952 --> 00:16:38,419
This is how I have to move on, and...
444
00:16:39,209 --> 00:16:40,591
I have to go.
445
00:16:41,676 --> 00:16:43,616
- Let's get on the road.
- Okay.
446
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:47,983
Wait.
447
00:16:58,660 --> 00:17:00,559
You've reached Van. Leave a message.
448
00:17:04,163 --> 00:17:05,498
Hello, Van.
449
00:17:05,534 --> 00:17:07,929
This is Winston Bishop.
450
00:17:07,954 --> 00:17:09,331
I'm your son.
451
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:11,638
I'm calling to tell you
that I am getting married
452
00:17:11,663 --> 00:17:15,007
to the most amazing woman in the world.
453
00:17:15,929 --> 00:17:19,155
And I turned out pretty
great, too, so, um...
454
00:17:19,188 --> 00:17:21,130
call me whenever you're ready.
455
00:17:21,155 --> 00:17:22,835
Oh, also, I have a cat.
456
00:17:22,860 --> 00:17:24,961
He's not ready to have
a relationship with you,
457
00:17:24,986 --> 00:17:27,374
so just don't try to force it on him.
458
00:17:30,225 --> 00:17:32,155
Yeah, so...
459
00:17:32,180 --> 00:17:33,960
now it's your turn.
460
00:17:33,995 --> 00:17:35,739
Be brave.
461
00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:37,630
I can't.
462
00:17:37,728 --> 00:17:39,194
I'm sorry.
463
00:17:44,765 --> 00:17:46,936
Hey, babe, I'm back. Whew!
464
00:17:49,827 --> 00:17:51,241
What's, uh...
465
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:54,210
what's happening?
466
00:17:54,452 --> 00:17:55,975
I'm pregnant.
467
00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:58,685
- What?
- I mean, you're pregnant.
468
00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:00,366
We're pregnant.
469
00:18:00,507 --> 00:18:02,091
Sadie called you,
470
00:18:02,116 --> 00:18:04,499
and-and Jess picked up,
471
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,593
then she called again
and Winston picked up,
472
00:18:06,628 --> 00:18:07,961
Winston told me.
473
00:18:07,996 --> 00:18:10,008
It's an upsetting scene, but, um,
474
00:18:10,033 --> 00:18:11,865
we're having a baby, Cece.
475
00:18:12,655 --> 00:18:13,958
I wanted to buy you flowers,
476
00:18:13,983 --> 00:18:15,687
but I couldn't pick out...
477
00:18:15,712 --> 00:18:17,372
which ones, so...
478
00:18:17,397 --> 00:18:19,205
We're having a baby?
479
00:18:19,230 --> 00:18:21,069
We're having a baby.
480
00:18:21,772 --> 00:18:23,593
We're having a baby.
481
00:18:25,981 --> 00:18:28,233
I really didn't think it
was gonna happen for us.
482
00:18:28,258 --> 00:18:29,658
It's a caramel miracle.
483
00:18:39,290 --> 00:18:41,190
Don't forget to give me five stars!
484
00:18:41,296 --> 00:18:42,896
Three and a half! Thanks, Beezus!
485
00:18:42,931 --> 00:18:44,464
Hey, let's turn on some music.
486
00:18:46,439 --> 00:18:48,267
- Oldies station okay, everybody?
- ♪ The time of my life... ♪
487
00:18:48,839 --> 00:18:51,727
I think I'd be really
happy working as a mover.
488
00:18:51,869 --> 00:18:53,414
I like the gloves,
489
00:18:53,439 --> 00:18:55,018
I like the excitement.
490
00:18:55,408 --> 00:18:57,658
♪ It's the truth ♪
491
00:18:57,774 --> 00:19:00,308
♪ And I owe it all to you... ♪
492
00:19:00,333 --> 00:19:02,148
Sit back and watch the job get done.
493
00:19:02,173 --> 00:19:03,593
Winston's right.
494
00:19:03,628 --> 00:19:05,085
Portland, huh?
495
00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:06,907
Land of the muskrat.
496
00:19:06,932 --> 00:19:08,675
- Pull over!
- I mean, I'm in the middle...
497
00:19:08,700 --> 00:19:10,356
- Just pull over.
- We're in traffic and we're parked!
498
00:19:10,392 --> 00:19:11,612
I was just trying to, you
know... okay, I'll go up.
499
00:19:11,637 --> 00:19:13,425
I'll go up a few blocks, that's fine.
500
00:19:14,844 --> 00:19:16,245
Jess?
501
00:19:31,644 --> 00:19:34,781
Can anyone help me get in the building?!
502
00:19:34,816 --> 00:19:36,122
Hey, dog!
503
00:19:36,147 --> 00:19:38,042
Can you bark for someone?
504
00:19:38,689 --> 00:19:39,921
Bark, dog!
505
00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:41,212
Bark!
506
00:19:44,459 --> 00:19:47,186
Ah! Screw you.
507
00:19:48,284 --> 00:19:51,337
Can anyone help me get in the building?!
508
00:19:51,362 --> 00:19:53,232
I gave away my key!
509
00:19:53,268 --> 00:19:54,605
Anyone?
510
00:19:54,630 --> 00:19:56,144
Jess!
511
00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:02,097
Hang on, I'm coming down!
512
00:20:09,969 --> 00:20:11,916
Oh, hey, hold the door. Thanks.
513
00:20:13,044 --> 00:20:14,654
Now you find your voice?
514
00:20:17,435 --> 00:20:19,019
Come on, come on, come on.
515
00:20:24,948 --> 00:20:26,247
Come on.
516
00:20:42,769 --> 00:20:44,525
Jess, where'd you go?!
517
00:20:44,550 --> 00:20:46,252
- Jess!
- Nick!
518
00:20:46,277 --> 00:20:47,613
Why are you down there?
519
00:20:47,638 --> 00:20:49,503
Stay right there!
520
00:20:52,729 --> 00:20:55,097
Come on, come on.
521
00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:04,434
Oh, come on, please go faster.
522
00:21:04,459 --> 00:21:06,028
I gotta tell my best
friend I'm in love with her.
523
00:21:06,053 --> 00:21:08,168
Shower first. I've never
seen anyone sweat so much.
524
00:21:08,193 --> 00:21:09,949
You take a shower. You smell terrible.
525
00:21:09,974 --> 00:21:11,863
- You smell terrible!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
526
00:21:14,887 --> 00:21:16,551
Hey, Miller.
527
00:21:16,576 --> 00:21:17,964
Hey.
528
00:21:38,358 --> 00:21:42,065
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com