1 00:00:21,582 --> 00:00:24,626 D There's a hundred And four days of summer vacation * 2 00:00:24,710 --> 00:00:27,212 * And school comes along just to end it * 3 00:00:27,296 --> 00:00:30,299 * So the annual problem For our generation * 4 00:00:30,382 --> 00:00:33,427 * Is finding a good way to spend it * 5 00:00:33,510 --> 00:00:34,678 * Like maybe * 6 00:00:34,762 --> 00:00:37,222 * Building a rocket or fighting a mummy * 7 00:00:37,306 --> 00:00:39,349 * Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower * 8 00:00:39,767 --> 00:00:42,144 * Discovering something That doesn't exist d. 9 00:00:42,227 --> 00:00:43,130 Hey! 10 00:00:43,145 --> 00:00:44,605 D Or giving a monkey a shower * 11 00:00:45,481 --> 00:00:46,607 * Surfing tidal waves * 12 00:00:46,690 --> 00:00:49,610 * Creating nano-bots Or locating Frankenstein's brain d. 13 00:00:49,693 --> 00:00:50,596 It's over here! 14 00:00:50,611 --> 00:00:52,071 D Finding a Dodo bird * 15 00:00:52,154 --> 00:00:53,155 * Painting a continent * 16 00:00:53,238 --> 00:00:55,282 * Or driving our sister insane * 17 00:00:55,365 --> 00:00:56,268 Phineas! 18 00:00:56,283 --> 00:00:58,535 D As you can see There's a whole lot of stuff to do * 19 00:00:58,619 --> 00:01:00,245 * Before school starts this fall d. 20 00:01:00,329 --> 00:01:01,329 Come on, Perry! 21 00:01:01,371 --> 00:01:06,460 D So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! * 22 00:01:06,543 --> 00:01:11,590 * So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! d. 23 00:01:12,091 --> 00:01:15,427 Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence! 24 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:19,807 - Hey, boys. - Hi, Mom. 25 00:01:20,057 --> 00:01:21,266 What are you up to today? 26 00:01:21,350 --> 00:01:23,394 We're racing our remote-controlled monster trucks. 27 00:01:24,478 --> 00:01:26,397 I don't see any monster trucks. 28 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:28,690 Oh, that's 'cause we rigged them to go light speed. 29 00:01:28,774 --> 00:01:31,527 You how those stock motors are. They never give you enough action. 30 00:01:31,610 --> 00:01:35,114 You boys have such active imaginations. You must get it from your father. 31 00:01:35,447 --> 00:01:40,577 Let's see… Green goes to number five. 32 00:01:40,702 --> 00:01:43,497 I'm painting. 33 00:01:44,748 --> 00:01:46,792 Charlene's here. I'm off to my cooking class. 34 00:01:47,042 --> 00:01:48,085 Bye, Mom. 35 00:01:48,168 --> 00:01:49,211 Final lap, Ferb. 36 00:01:50,713 --> 00:01:52,589 Aw! Another photo finish. 37 00:01:52,673 --> 00:01:55,175 I'm never watching closely enough to see who won. 38 00:01:57,219 --> 00:01:58,679 Despair speaking. 39 00:01:58,762 --> 00:02:00,597 Care to explain why "Despair" isn't picking up 40 00:02:00,681 --> 00:02:01,625 her cell phone this morning? 41 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:04,351 Because of a little thing called parallel parking! 42 00:02:04,435 --> 00:02:06,687 See, yesterday, Dad was teaching me how to drive… 43 00:02:06,770 --> 00:02:08,397 OK, Candace. All you have to do 44 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:13,110 is park between this plastic trash can, and that plastic trash can. 45 00:02:13,193 --> 00:02:15,654 So, I put it in reverse… 46 00:02:22,745 --> 00:02:27,082 Then Dad said my parallel parking needs a little work. 47 00:02:27,166 --> 00:02:29,668 It means I'll never get my driver's license! 48 00:02:29,752 --> 00:02:31,628 Ah, I'm such a loser. 49 00:02:31,712 --> 00:02:34,339 Oh, my gosh, Ferb, I can't believe it! 50 00:02:34,548 --> 00:02:36,592 I've never noticed how soft our carpets are. 51 00:02:37,051 --> 00:02:40,137 But more importantly, we have to help Candace get her confidence back. 52 00:02:40,554 --> 00:02:41,847 Any ideas? 53 00:02:42,097 --> 00:02:44,808 This is perfect! The Candace Crusher! 54 00:02:45,100 --> 00:02:47,352 Nothing says confidence like a monster truck. 55 00:02:47,770 --> 00:02:49,271 Hey, where's Perry? 56 00:02:56,570 --> 00:02:58,655 Oh, hey Agent P. So, get this, 57 00:02:58,739 --> 00:03:00,783 I got this memo this morning on Doofenshmirtz. 58 00:03:01,075 --> 00:03:03,635 And somebody abbreviated his name in it. Guess how they wrote it. 59 00:03:04,578 --> 00:03:06,622 Doof! 60 00:03:06,705 --> 00:03:08,749 The Doof! 61 00:03:09,083 --> 00:03:11,335 It's times like these when you really appreciate 62 00:03:11,418 --> 00:03:13,295 having a cool name like Monogram. 63 00:03:13,379 --> 00:03:14,365 And Carl! 64 00:03:14,380 --> 00:03:16,256 I already told you your name's not that cool. 65 00:03:16,382 --> 00:03:20,260 Anyway, do your stuff, Agent P, and stop that… Doof! 66 00:03:22,721 --> 00:03:25,099 Take it all the way back. Keep it moving. 67 00:03:25,307 --> 00:03:28,310 Waterfall, the orange cones, parts, left to the garage, 68 00:03:28,394 --> 00:03:30,062 bleachers, right, um. 69 00:03:30,145 --> 00:03:32,106 Giant baby head… anywhere is good. 70 00:03:51,083 --> 00:03:52,083 Oh, hey, boys. 71 00:03:52,126 --> 00:03:54,253 Dad, you might want to wipe the queen off your face. 72 00:03:54,336 --> 00:03:55,379 Oh, oh, yeah, thanks. 73 00:03:55,671 --> 00:03:57,631 Crikey! A monster truck! 74 00:03:57,715 --> 00:03:59,299 Yeah, isn't it sweet? 75 00:03:59,383 --> 00:04:01,664 It's to help teach Candace how to parallel park and stuff. 76 00:04:01,719 --> 00:04:04,179 We figured if she learned how to drive one of these monsters, 77 00:04:04,263 --> 00:04:05,824 she'd have the confidence to drive anything. 78 00:04:05,848 --> 00:04:07,224 Oh, yeah, brilliant. 79 00:04:07,307 --> 00:04:09,685 But I better check with Mom about this. 80 00:04:09,768 --> 00:04:12,563 Eh, hello, honey. Yes, yes. Oh, gosh, I love you, too, darling. 81 00:04:12,688 --> 00:04:15,691 Uh, are you aware the boys have a monster truck in the backyard? 82 00:04:15,774 --> 00:04:17,609 Honestly, you're as bad as Candace. 83 00:04:17,693 --> 00:04:19,361 OK, OK, just checking. 84 00:04:19,445 --> 00:04:22,281 It's a go, boys! I'll get your sister! 85 00:04:22,364 --> 00:04:26,326 Ahem! Madam Flynn, I have told you a hundred times, 86 00:04:26,577 --> 00:04:28,662 no phone calls in class! 87 00:04:31,206 --> 00:04:32,624 Hello? 88 00:04:33,459 --> 00:04:35,544 It is for you. 89 00:04:35,753 --> 00:04:36,739 Hello? 90 00:04:36,754 --> 00:04:38,756 Mom, I think the boys are building a monster truck. 91 00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:40,507 Um, honey, I gotta go. 92 00:04:40,591 --> 00:04:44,094 No. B-Big chef. Big meat tenderizer in front of mommy. Bye-bye! 93 00:04:44,178 --> 00:04:46,180 Oh, this seems like a good idea. 94 00:04:46,263 --> 00:04:47,264 I gotcha. 95 00:04:47,347 --> 00:04:50,225 Oh, what's the point? I'm never gonna be able to parallel park. 96 00:04:50,309 --> 00:04:52,728 Don't worry, sis. It's just to build your confidence. 97 00:04:52,811 --> 00:04:55,105 OK, don't forget to buckle up. 98 00:04:55,189 --> 00:04:57,316 But we can't drive here. It's just the backyard. 99 00:05:02,237 --> 00:05:03,238 Meap. 100 00:05:03,322 --> 00:05:06,658 D Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated d. 101 00:05:06,742 --> 00:05:08,160 Gentlemen, 102 00:05:08,243 --> 00:05:11,371 I have an unique investment opportunity for you. 103 00:05:11,455 --> 00:05:15,334 I'm sure you're all aware of the popularity of monster trucks, right? 104 00:05:15,417 --> 00:05:17,127 But you know, they are not really monsters, 105 00:05:17,211 --> 00:05:18,420 just big, stupid trucks! 106 00:05:19,088 --> 00:05:24,760 So, I came up with my own line of monster trucks. Behold! 107 00:05:27,513 --> 00:05:31,350 Very evil, don't you think? There's even one that looks like me! 108 00:05:31,475 --> 00:05:33,060 Look! Look! 109 00:05:33,352 --> 00:05:35,062 We'll corner the markets! 110 00:05:35,145 --> 00:05:40,192 And just to be sure, I have created the Monster Truck Away-Inator! 111 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:43,278 You know, to do away with the competition. 112 00:05:43,570 --> 00:05:45,197 But is it safe to use? 113 00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:46,365 Sure. Let me demonstrate. 114 00:05:48,325 --> 00:05:50,577 See? It doesn't affect people at all! 115 00:05:52,246 --> 00:05:55,249 Except maybe a little swelling, but don't worry, it will go down. 116 00:05:55,541 --> 00:05:56,541 You know, probably. 117 00:05:56,583 --> 00:06:00,838 Now, watch what it does to this miniature monster truck. 118 00:06:04,425 --> 00:06:06,760 I don't know where it sends them, maybe another dimension. 119 00:06:10,472 --> 00:06:12,349 Of course, that was just a toy. 120 00:06:12,433 --> 00:06:15,102 Let's try it out on a real monster truck, huh? 121 00:06:15,185 --> 00:06:17,396 Which brings me to my next invention. 122 00:06:17,479 --> 00:06:20,274 The Monster Truck Locate-Inator! 123 00:06:20,357 --> 00:06:22,443 Perry the Platypus? Guess what? 124 00:06:22,651 --> 00:06:25,362 That's not a Monster Truck Locate-Inator at all. 125 00:06:25,446 --> 00:06:27,573 It's a Chinese platypus trap! 126 00:06:27,781 --> 00:06:31,076 I got you. 127 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:33,662 Here's the real Locate-Inator. 128 00:06:33,746 --> 00:06:36,331 OK, now. Where is the nearest monster truck? 129 00:06:36,415 --> 00:06:39,209 Yes! Right here in Danville! 130 00:06:39,293 --> 00:06:41,336 OK, everybody, get in me, and we'll go. 131 00:06:43,213 --> 00:06:45,632 Are you sure you want to bring him? 132 00:06:45,716 --> 00:06:47,468 Perry the Platypus? Well, yes, of course. 133 00:06:47,551 --> 00:06:49,391 He's my nemesis. I have to show him everything. 134 00:06:49,678 --> 00:06:51,472 Good afternoon, Danville! 135 00:06:51,555 --> 00:06:55,225 Dink Winkerson here, and this is little Isabella Garcia-Shapiro 136 00:06:55,309 --> 00:06:57,811 from Fireside Girl Troop 46231. 137 00:06:58,103 --> 00:07:00,314 And she's got a little announcement to make. 138 00:07:01,065 --> 00:07:02,149 Wednesday, Wednesday, 139 00:07:02,232 --> 00:07:05,194 Wednesday! Giant monster truck rally right here in Danville! 140 00:07:05,277 --> 00:07:07,196 Candace the Crusher takes on all comers! 141 00:07:07,279 --> 00:07:08,739 Be there, be there, be there! 142 00:07:09,281 --> 00:07:12,326 We'll give you the whole seat, but you'll only need the edge. 143 00:07:12,409 --> 00:07:13,494 Thanks, Dink. 144 00:07:14,787 --> 00:07:15,773 All right, Candace. 145 00:07:15,788 --> 00:07:18,374 All you have to do is maneuver through this traffic cone course. 146 00:07:18,457 --> 00:07:20,417 Oh. So I put it into drive… 147 00:07:22,836 --> 00:07:25,276 I don't think we're gonna get the deposit back on those cones. 148 00:07:25,798 --> 00:07:28,217 OK, Candace. All you have to do on this test 149 00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:30,177 is go up this gentle incline. 150 00:07:30,260 --> 00:07:31,720 Dad, you look nervous. 151 00:07:31,804 --> 00:07:35,349 No, of course not. I-I have full confidence in you. 152 00:07:36,225 --> 00:07:39,103 Phineas, this incline is getting kind of steep! 153 00:07:39,186 --> 00:07:41,480 Don't worry, Candace. It gets steeper! 154 00:07:46,110 --> 00:07:47,820 Next, the break portion of the test. 155 00:07:51,782 --> 00:07:53,575 I can't believe I did it! 156 00:07:53,659 --> 00:07:55,452 Oh, well done. 157 00:07:55,744 --> 00:07:56,829 OK, 158 00:07:57,079 --> 00:08:00,374 left onto Maple Drive, and here we are! 159 00:08:00,666 --> 00:08:02,793 Oh, great. There's no parking spots. 160 00:08:03,043 --> 00:08:05,212 I should have invented a Parked Car Away-Inator. 161 00:08:05,337 --> 00:08:07,798 Oh, ja! That is something that I would buy. 162 00:08:08,048 --> 00:08:09,591 Oh, look at him. He's got a big head, 163 00:08:09,675 --> 00:08:11,635 suddenly some sort of marketing genius. 164 00:08:11,719 --> 00:08:13,721 Oh, well done, Candace. Next, we'll… 165 00:08:16,348 --> 00:08:19,476 - You're Candace the Crusher? - Yes? 166 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:23,272 I've heard pigs could fly, but now I've seen everything! 167 00:08:23,355 --> 00:08:25,607 That doesn't make any sense! 168 00:08:25,691 --> 00:08:27,651 It doesn't have to. I got a monster truck. 169 00:08:27,735 --> 00:08:29,069 Whoo-hoo! 170 00:08:29,570 --> 00:08:33,115 Candace, those dudes need to suck our mud! 171 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:43,292 D Now let me tell you all the story 'Bout a truck driving girl * 172 00:08:43,375 --> 00:08:46,211 * In a custom made monster truck She took for a whirl * 173 00:08:46,462 --> 00:08:49,256 * That little speed demon's Gonna be a star * 174 00:08:49,339 --> 00:08:52,259 * With her learner's permit And an adult in the car * 175 00:08:52,342 --> 00:08:55,304 * She may be out for a long, But she can't parallel park * 176 00:08:55,387 --> 00:08:58,223 * She's a truck drivin' girl! She's a truck drivin' girl! * 177 00:09:22,122 --> 00:09:25,417 * Well, then someday she'll get Her license and she'll have it all * 178 00:09:25,501 --> 00:09:28,212 * She can pick up her friends And take a drive at the mall * 179 00:09:28,420 --> 00:09:31,298 * That little redhead's Gonna rock my world * 180 00:09:31,382 --> 00:09:34,218 * She's a truck drivin' girl! She's a truck drivin' girl! * 181 00:09:34,301 --> 00:09:37,596 * She's a tire-spinning, gear-grinding, Clutch-burning, backfiring * 182 00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:42,434 * Paint-trading, red-lining, overheating, Throttle-stomping truck drivin' girl! d. 183 00:09:42,518 --> 00:09:44,186 It's a photo finish! 184 00:09:44,269 --> 00:09:47,064 The winner will be decided by our final event… 185 00:09:47,356 --> 00:09:49,775 The Parallel Parking Challenge! 186 00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:52,069 Parallel parking? 187 00:09:52,152 --> 00:09:55,447 You're goin' down, girlie. Check out the finesse! 188 00:10:02,162 --> 00:10:04,832 See, Candace? Even a trained professional 189 00:10:05,082 --> 00:10:06,542 has trouble from time to time. 190 00:10:07,126 --> 00:10:11,547 Now, I want you to just relax, and park this car! 191 00:10:16,635 --> 00:10:17,635 Yes! 192 00:10:17,678 --> 00:10:19,179 Perfect! 193 00:10:20,514 --> 00:10:23,559 Time for some Monster Truck Away-Inating! 194 00:10:26,603 --> 00:10:29,440 Okay, steady now… Here we 195 00:10:29,523 --> 00:10:30,467 * Perry * 196 00:10:30,482 --> 00:10:31,775 Perry the Platypus? But-but, 197 00:10:32,067 --> 00:10:34,445 but how did you get out of the Chinese platypus trap? 198 00:10:35,070 --> 00:10:36,780 Ancient Chinese secret. 199 00:10:37,406 --> 00:10:39,158 I don't remember inviting him. 200 00:10:39,408 --> 00:10:43,370 No, wait! Perry the Platypus, no, no, please! Don't turn the dial to the: 201 00:10:43,454 --> 00:10:46,331 "Doofenshmirtz-Mobile and Evil Investors Awayinator"! 202 00:10:47,541 --> 00:10:48,792 I have to rethink my dials. 203 00:10:51,587 --> 00:10:53,297 - Oh! - Hey, look, guys. 204 00:10:53,380 --> 00:10:54,715 My swelling went down! 205 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:55,840 Oh, shut up. 206 00:10:58,510 --> 00:11:00,220 Curse you, Perry the Platypus! 207 00:11:00,554 --> 00:11:01,555 I did it! 208 00:11:01,847 --> 00:11:05,225 I'm proud of you, darling. You really made them eat mud. 209 00:11:09,146 --> 00:11:11,315 Gotta admit it, girl, you're good. 210 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:15,069 Hey, aren't you Buck Buckerson? The famous monster truck rally promoter? 211 00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:18,155 That's right. Me and my boys are headed to a rally up 212 00:11:18,238 --> 00:11:19,406 in Badgertown. 213 00:11:19,615 --> 00:11:22,659 Only, the track up there ain't near as good as this one. 214 00:11:22,743 --> 00:11:24,453 You can have ours. We're through with it. 215 00:11:24,620 --> 00:11:27,414 Well, that's mighty nice of you. Haul her away, boys. 216 00:11:30,459 --> 00:11:32,169 Thanks for the ride, Charlene. 217 00:11:39,051 --> 00:11:40,344 - Hi, Mom. - Candace, 218 00:11:40,427 --> 00:11:42,471 why on earth are you all covered in mud? 219 00:11:42,554 --> 00:11:45,140 Because she's a tire-spinning, gear-grinding, 220 00:11:45,224 --> 00:11:47,559 clutch-burning, backfiring, paint-trading, red-lining, 221 00:11:47,643 --> 00:11:50,312 overheating, throttle-stomping truck drivin' girl. 222 00:11:51,647 --> 00:11:53,440 And I learned how to parallel park! 223 00:11:53,565 --> 00:11:54,565 Great! 224 00:12:01,281 --> 00:12:04,576 It sounds like somebody is strangling a cat. It must be Grandpa! 225 00:12:04,660 --> 00:12:06,495 Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey! 226 00:12:08,247 --> 00:12:10,666 I cannot believe we eat the same food. 227 00:12:10,749 --> 00:12:12,126 Believe it. 228 00:12:12,501 --> 00:12:14,378 Grandma, would you show me where the shower is? 229 00:12:14,461 --> 00:12:16,130 Shower? Why, sure, honey. 230 00:12:16,213 --> 00:12:18,215 Would you like a massage and a fruity drink, too? 231 00:12:18,298 --> 00:12:19,651 How about a manicure and a mud facial 232 00:12:19,675 --> 00:12:21,395 while you lay by the pool eating crab cakes? 233 00:12:21,427 --> 00:12:23,637 I can do without the sarcasm. 234 00:12:24,513 --> 00:12:28,726 Chow time's over, campers. Time for our nature walk to Badbeard Lake. 235 00:12:28,809 --> 00:12:30,602 Why do they call it "Badbeard Lake"? 236 00:12:30,686 --> 00:12:32,813 Well, it's a body of fresh water surrounded 237 00:12:33,105 --> 00:12:34,416 - by land… - No, the "Badbeard" part. 238 00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:36,775 Oh, right. It was named after "Badbeard", 239 00:12:37,109 --> 00:12:41,113 the most ruthless freshwater pirate ever to plunder a lakeside community. 240 00:12:41,196 --> 00:12:42,141 Cool! Wow! 241 00:12:42,156 --> 00:12:44,825 And in the middle of Badbeard Lake lies Spleen Island, 242 00:12:45,075 --> 00:12:48,328 where legend has it Badbeard buried his bountiful booty. Heh! 243 00:12:48,412 --> 00:12:50,164 - Booty? - You know, treasure. 244 00:12:50,247 --> 00:12:51,749 - Treasure? - Treasure? 245 00:12:51,832 --> 00:12:53,292 Aye, mateys. Oh, just a sec. 246 00:12:55,419 --> 00:12:57,296 Why are you talking like a pirate, Grandpa? 247 00:12:57,379 --> 00:13:00,716 I'm trying to tell the story of Badbeard the Pirate. 248 00:13:00,799 --> 00:13:03,844 There's a song about it. Say, does anyone have a concertina? 249 00:13:04,094 --> 00:13:06,305 - Buford? - Me? 250 00:13:07,765 --> 00:13:08,807 Yes. 251 00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:15,314 D Arg, arg, arg, arg, This is the Ballad of Badbeard * 252 00:13:15,397 --> 00:13:19,109 * Arg, arg, arg, arg, This is the Ballad of Badbeard d. 253 00:13:20,778 --> 00:13:21,778 That's it? 254 00:13:21,820 --> 00:13:24,031 Well, I didn't say it was much of a song. 255 00:13:24,114 --> 00:13:26,325 So, meet me at the trail head in five minutes. 256 00:13:26,408 --> 00:13:28,077 Aye, aye, Captain Grandpa! 257 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:29,411 That's the spirit! 258 00:13:29,745 --> 00:13:32,623 Oh, dear. I seem to be missing my underpants. 259 00:13:35,334 --> 00:13:39,129 Ah, you see kids, wherever you go, the forest is teeming 260 00:13:39,213 --> 00:13:41,131 with life for us to step on. 261 00:13:41,215 --> 00:13:44,093 Remember, always stick to the trail so you won't get lost. 262 00:13:44,510 --> 00:13:47,513 And whatever you do, never touch the orange moss 263 00:13:47,638 --> 00:13:50,516 that grows on the right side of the Jum-Jum tree. 264 00:13:50,599 --> 00:13:52,559 Boring. I'm calling Stacey. 265 00:13:52,643 --> 00:13:55,062 Left is right. Right is wrong. 266 00:13:55,145 --> 00:13:56,498 I can't get any reception up here. 267 00:13:56,522 --> 00:13:58,690 So, stay clear of the moss. The slightest touch, 268 00:13:58,774 --> 00:14:01,360 and the orange moss will absorb through the skin, 269 00:14:01,443 --> 00:14:03,445 causing wild hallucinations. 270 00:14:04,613 --> 00:14:08,117 Huh? Oh, no! Was that the right side or the wrong side? 271 00:14:08,325 --> 00:14:10,327 No, wait. The left side was the right side. 272 00:14:10,411 --> 00:14:12,037 Moss! Orange! 273 00:14:12,121 --> 00:14:15,124 Thar she blows mateys. 274 00:14:15,207 --> 00:14:17,334 - Badbeard Lake. - Oh! 275 00:14:17,418 --> 00:14:19,211 And thar be Spleen Island. 276 00:14:19,586 --> 00:14:23,674 The bones of them that hunted the treasure all be lyin' below in Davy Jones's locker. 277 00:14:23,757 --> 00:14:25,467 - Cool. - Let's go! 278 00:14:26,260 --> 00:14:30,431 D Arg, arg, arg, arg, this is The Ballad of Badbeard! Arg, arg… * 279 00:14:30,514 --> 00:14:32,266 Candace? Where's Candace? 280 00:14:32,349 --> 00:14:33,789 D This is the Ballad of Badbeard! d. 281 00:14:42,067 --> 00:14:44,653 Good morning, Agent P, and thank you for your help, Agent E. 282 00:14:44,737 --> 00:14:47,577 Sorry to alarm you, Agent P, but we're remodeling our regular base here. 283 00:14:47,656 --> 00:14:50,242 Actually, my wife's doing it Mexican-country style. 284 00:14:50,325 --> 00:14:52,578 Distressed wood, wrought iron. It should all be very… 285 00:14:52,661 --> 00:14:54,455 Woah! Hey, woah! Hey, Agent E, back off! 286 00:14:54,538 --> 00:14:59,168 Uh, anyway, Agent E has spotted Dr. Doofenshmirtz on Spleen Island. 287 00:14:59,251 --> 00:15:01,378 He's moving boxes and equipment into what's known as 288 00:15:01,462 --> 00:15:05,549 the haunted cave of the old sea hag. Honestly, I'm not making this stuff up. 289 00:15:05,632 --> 00:15:08,052 But anyway, we believe he's creating a new hideout there, 290 00:15:08,135 --> 00:15:11,472 and we want you to foil his plans. Good luck, Agent P. 291 00:15:11,555 --> 00:15:12,681 No way. 292 00:15:12,765 --> 00:15:14,433 This is so weird. 293 00:15:14,641 --> 00:15:17,162 I see Perry with an eagle, and their both dressed up like secret agents 294 00:15:17,186 --> 00:15:19,396 and they're talking to man inside an egg. 295 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:22,399 That is so messed up. It must be the moss. 296 00:15:22,483 --> 00:15:24,526 Hey, wait a minute. How did I get way up here? 297 00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:38,290 Now Perry has a wetski? 298 00:15:38,374 --> 00:15:40,793 How strange can this get? 299 00:15:41,043 --> 00:15:45,214 Oh, it gets much stranger, Kevin. 300 00:15:45,672 --> 00:15:47,383 En garde, you scurvy dog! 301 00:15:47,466 --> 00:15:49,593 Ha ha! I don't even know what scurvy is! 302 00:15:49,676 --> 00:15:51,387 Hey! I know what we should do today. 303 00:15:51,470 --> 00:15:54,431 Let's be real pirates and go find Badbeard's treasure. 304 00:15:54,515 --> 00:15:57,142 Sure, knock yourselves out. 305 00:15:57,226 --> 00:16:00,646 I was just about your age when I first heard about Badbeard's treasure. 306 00:16:00,729 --> 00:16:03,232 I'd come up here every summer and search for it. 307 00:16:03,315 --> 00:16:06,402 But I felt drawn by the excitement and adventure. 308 00:16:06,485 --> 00:16:09,279 Of course, then I discovered girls and the rest is a blur. 309 00:16:09,363 --> 00:16:13,325 I never found the treasure, but I did find a treasure map. 310 00:16:13,409 --> 00:16:16,328 - Treasure map? Hey! - Whoa! 311 00:16:16,412 --> 00:16:17,496 But be warned, mateys. 312 00:16:17,579 --> 00:16:21,041 They say Badbeard's treasure comes with a curse! 313 00:16:21,125 --> 00:16:22,251 "A curse"? 314 00:16:22,334 --> 00:16:25,462 Aye. Them who disturb the treasure of Badbeard 315 00:16:25,546 --> 00:16:29,591 shall be cursed with bad beards for the rest of their days. 316 00:16:29,675 --> 00:16:31,820 You mean we'll be stuck with a big, ugly beard on our face 317 00:16:31,844 --> 00:16:33,846 - for the rest of our lives? - That's gnarly. 318 00:16:34,096 --> 00:16:35,764 Well, while you kids search for treasure, 319 00:16:36,223 --> 00:16:39,560 I'd better go search for Grandma. Wish there was a map for that. 320 00:16:49,069 --> 00:16:51,697 OK, troops. We set sail from Point Plots, 321 00:16:51,780 --> 00:16:55,033 sail through the Stones of Gall, and into the Cove of Incontinence, 322 00:16:55,117 --> 00:16:57,745 and then continue on foot into the Dark Tunnel of Doom. 323 00:16:59,246 --> 00:17:02,583 Well, that sounds delightful. And "X" marks the spot. Easy-peasy. 324 00:17:02,666 --> 00:17:05,419 First thing we gotta do is, we make Grandpa's secondhand dingy 325 00:17:05,502 --> 00:17:08,255 into a first-rate pirate ship. Ferb, any ideas? 326 00:17:11,633 --> 00:17:13,385 Woah. Impressive. 327 00:17:25,564 --> 00:17:27,274 Is that the cable company? 328 00:17:27,775 --> 00:17:31,612 So, Mr. Cable Man, you don't carry the Evil Science Channel? What's up with… 329 00:17:31,695 --> 00:17:33,072 Perry the Platypus! 330 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,783 Oh, give me a break. I'm moving, legally. 331 00:17:36,075 --> 00:17:38,410 I bought this place, and cheap, too. 332 00:17:38,494 --> 00:17:42,372 It's supposed to be haunted by a terrifying old sea hag. 333 00:17:43,624 --> 00:17:45,709 Look, Perry the Platypus, just because I'm evil 334 00:17:45,793 --> 00:17:48,337 doesn't mean everything I do is evil. 335 00:17:51,340 --> 00:17:53,384 Fine. You want evil, Perry the Platypus? 336 00:17:53,467 --> 00:17:54,802 I'll give you evil! 337 00:18:01,683 --> 00:18:03,060 Avast, me 'arties! 338 00:18:03,143 --> 00:18:06,647 D We're sailing for the Island of Spleen To search for the treasure of Badbeard * 339 00:18:06,730 --> 00:18:07,674 * I'm feeling sick * 340 00:18:07,689 --> 00:18:08,634 * You're looking green * 341 00:18:08,649 --> 00:18:10,359 * We search for the treasure of Badbeard * 342 00:18:10,442 --> 00:18:11,544 * We'll plunder and pillage * 343 00:18:11,568 --> 00:18:12,513 * And do some math * 344 00:18:12,528 --> 00:18:14,113 * And all refuse to take a bath * 345 00:18:14,196 --> 00:18:16,031 * We seek adventure and romance * 346 00:18:16,115 --> 00:18:17,699 * I'm running out of underpants * 347 00:18:17,783 --> 00:18:19,660 * There's ghosts who haunt The cave and worse * 348 00:18:19,743 --> 00:18:21,578 * It's guarded by a pirate's curse * 349 00:18:21,662 --> 00:18:25,332 * Why do my nostrils whisper to me? * 350 00:18:27,334 --> 00:18:30,754 * Arg, arg, arg, arg, this is The Ballad of Badbeard * 351 00:18:30,838 --> 00:18:34,425 * Arg, arg, arg, arg, this is The Ballad of Badbeard d. 352 00:18:34,508 --> 00:18:37,428 This is it. The Tunnel of Doom. Just like on the map. 353 00:18:38,679 --> 00:18:40,848 Are you sure we're going the right way? 354 00:18:41,098 --> 00:18:43,726 Sure, I'm sure. We just follow Ferb. He's got the map. 355 00:18:46,645 --> 00:18:49,481 Uh oh. Oh well, 356 00:18:50,149 --> 00:18:51,989 I'm sure it's pretty straightforward from here. 357 00:18:53,444 --> 00:18:55,070 It doesn't look very safe. 358 00:18:55,154 --> 00:18:56,613 I think you'd better test it. 359 00:18:58,741 --> 00:19:00,409 No problem. It'll hold us. 360 00:19:00,492 --> 00:19:03,203 No, wait! Not all at once! 361 00:19:07,458 --> 00:19:10,169 Run for it! 362 00:19:15,132 --> 00:19:17,718 Oh, my gosh! Buford, what are you doing? 363 00:19:17,801 --> 00:19:19,803 Look! I found these nifty hand puppets! 364 00:19:20,095 --> 00:19:21,764 Well, stop fooling around and let's go. 365 00:19:21,847 --> 00:19:23,182 Oh, all right. 366 00:19:24,058 --> 00:19:25,350 This place is creeping me out. 367 00:19:25,434 --> 00:19:28,228 If I had any underpants, I am sure they would have been soiled. 368 00:19:28,312 --> 00:19:30,731 Phineas, we're not getting lost, are we? 369 00:19:30,814 --> 00:19:33,817 Yeah, Dinner Bell. What if there is no treasure? 370 00:19:34,318 --> 00:19:36,779 Perhaps the real treasure is true friendship 371 00:19:37,071 --> 00:19:38,447 and the spirit of adventure. 372 00:19:40,199 --> 00:19:41,492 No, there it is over there! 373 00:19:42,242 --> 00:19:43,410 "X" marks the spot. 374 00:19:44,286 --> 00:19:46,246 Look. There's the chest. 375 00:19:47,456 --> 00:19:50,292 - But who d-dare open it? - I'll open it. 376 00:19:50,376 --> 00:19:52,503 But Phineas, what about the curse? 377 00:19:52,586 --> 00:19:54,296 Bad beards forever, dude. 378 00:19:54,380 --> 00:19:56,215 And you don't even have a chin. 379 00:19:56,298 --> 00:19:58,217 That's a chance I'll have to take. 380 00:19:58,425 --> 00:20:01,095 Shiver me timbers! The curse is true. 381 00:20:01,178 --> 00:20:03,430 - We will have bad beards forever! - Oh, no! 382 00:20:03,514 --> 00:20:05,641 It's full of bad fake beards. 383 00:20:06,350 --> 00:20:07,810 Now, Perry the Platypus, 384 00:20:08,060 --> 00:20:11,188 why don't you say hello to my new pet crocodiles? 385 00:20:11,522 --> 00:20:14,650 Susan and Susan. I named them after each other. 386 00:20:14,733 --> 00:20:16,610 Now, prepare to be delicious! 387 00:20:19,780 --> 00:20:22,449 - The sea hag! - The pharmacist! 388 00:20:25,577 --> 00:20:28,122 Hey Perry, I'm gonna get a snack from the vending machine. 389 00:20:28,205 --> 00:20:29,790 You want something? Suit yourself. 390 00:20:30,124 --> 00:20:31,709 I'm gonna have me some beef jerky! 391 00:20:32,209 --> 00:20:34,712 Island Self Destruct Sequence activated. 392 00:20:34,795 --> 00:20:37,089 Wait! My beef jerky! 393 00:20:37,715 --> 00:20:41,051 Ah! Someone always finds my self-destruct button! 394 00:20:41,385 --> 00:20:44,847 Oh, curse you, Perry the Platypus, blah blah blah. 395 00:20:45,097 --> 00:20:47,224 These are the best bad bears ever! 396 00:20:47,307 --> 00:20:48,809 Quick! 397 00:20:49,143 --> 00:20:51,687 Grab as many beards as you can carry and let's get out of here! 398 00:21:06,243 --> 00:21:07,243 Cast off! 399 00:21:07,619 --> 00:21:09,621 Put your backs into it, mateys. 400 00:21:15,294 --> 00:21:17,379 Whee! 401 00:21:26,430 --> 00:21:29,224 - Oh, man! Woah! - Astonishing! 402 00:21:29,308 --> 00:21:32,478 By the way, where's Per… Oh, never mind. 403 00:21:32,561 --> 00:21:35,272 Hey, Perry, what happened to your cute little secret agent hat? 404 00:21:35,355 --> 00:21:38,192 Well, Ferb, me ol' matey, our first time out as pirates, 405 00:21:38,275 --> 00:21:39,875 and we come home with a bounty of beards. 406 00:21:40,694 --> 00:21:43,280 And perhaps the greatest pirate story ever told. 407 00:21:46,700 --> 00:21:49,661 Wow! That's the greatest pirate story ever told! 408 00:21:50,245 --> 00:21:52,081 Oh. How you feeling, honey? 409 00:21:52,414 --> 00:21:54,124 Oh, better. Thanks, Grandma. 410 00:21:54,416 --> 00:21:56,776 Can you believe I actually thought Perry was a secret agent? 411 00:21:57,711 --> 00:22:01,673 Well, I learned my lesson. Stay away from the orange moss. 412 00:22:01,757 --> 00:22:03,759 The orange moss? Is that what your Grandpa said? 413 00:22:03,842 --> 00:22:05,260 Oh, he always gets that wrong. 414 00:22:05,344 --> 00:22:07,513 It's the blue moss you gotta watch out for. 415 00:22:07,596 --> 00:22:09,765 - Wh-what? - I guess it was all in your head. 416 00:22:09,848 --> 00:22:12,142 Well, that's the power of suggestion for you. 417 00:22:12,267 --> 00:22:13,727 You get some rest now, sweetie. 418 00:22:13,811 --> 00:22:17,398 The blue moss. What? Oh. 419 00:22:18,565 --> 00:22:20,401 Love the beard, Kevin. 420 00:22:22,528 --> 00:22:23,737 Avast, me 'arties! 421 00:22:23,821 --> 00:22:27,491 D We're sailing for the Island of Spleen To search for the treasure of Badbeard * 422 00:22:27,574 --> 00:22:28,519 * I'm feeling sick * 423 00:22:28,534 --> 00:22:29,520 * You're looking green * 424 00:22:29,535 --> 00:22:31,215 * We search for the treasure of Badbeard * 425 00:22:31,286 --> 00:22:32,347 * We'll plunder and pillage * 426 00:22:32,371 --> 00:22:33,357 * And do some math * 427 00:22:33,372 --> 00:22:34,748 * And all refuse to take a bath * 428 00:22:34,832 --> 00:22:36,709 * We seek adventure and romance * 429 00:22:36,792 --> 00:22:38,544 * I'm running out of underpants * 430 00:22:38,627 --> 00:22:40,467 * There's ghosts who haunt The cave and worse * 431 00:22:40,546 --> 00:22:42,423 * It's guarded by a pirate's curse * 432 00:22:43,382 --> 00:22:47,094 * Arg, arg, arg, arg, this is The ballad of Badbeard * 433 00:22:47,177 --> 00:22:50,639 * Arg, arg, arg, arg, this is The ballad of Badbeard d. 434 00:22:50,723 --> 00:22:52,516 Bad beards forever, dude.