D There's 104 days of summer vacation *
* And school comes along just to end it *
* So the annual problem For our generation *
* Is finding a good way to spend it *
* Like maybe… *
* Building a rocket *
* Or fighting a mummy *
* Or climbing up The Eiffel Tower *
* Discovering something t hat doesn't exist d.
Hey!
D Or giving a monkey a shower *
* Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots *
- d Or locating Frankenstein's brain d. - It's over here!
D Finding a dodo bird, Painting a continent *
- d Or driving our sister insane d. - Phineas!
D As you can see, there's A whole lot of stuff to do *
* Before school s tarts this fall d.
Come on, Perry!
D So stick with us *
* 'Cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all *
* So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb *
* Are gonna do it all d.
Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!
D You know you want to be her *
* She's a Flawless Girl *
* Flawless Girl *
* All the boys say when they meet her *
* She's a Flawless Girl *
* Flawless Girl *
* She's at the forefront of every trend *
* Never less than 5-foot-10 *
* And if you use our products *
* Then you can be a Flawless Girl *
* A Flawless Girl d.
Flawless Girl.
Because nobody's perfect without using our cosmetics.
I'd be so lost without Flawless Girl giving me pointers on how to look.
Hey, look. It says Flawless Girl founder, Blanca Dishon,
will be at this year's Midsummer Festival
in search of the next Flawless Girl spokesmodel.
And maybe I should sign up.
Just out of curiosity, when is the Midsummer's Festival?
Probably in the middle of summer.
Which is about now.
Oh, what do you know.
Must be the middle of summer.
It's the Baljeet signal.
Phineas and Ferb,
days ago you helped me build a portal to Mars.
Now, I beg you to help me win
the "biggest watermelon" contest at the festival.
Help me, Phineas and Ferb,
you're my only hope.
Ferb, grab that junior chemistry set you got for Bastille Day.
We're going to the festival.
Hey, where's Perry?
Oh, for crying out loud.
Who put a secret entrance at the bottom of the neighbor's koi pond?
OK, look, look, look.
To avoid a lawsuit, give the fish hats and we'll make them agents.
And, uh… Ooh, right, Agent P, your mission.
Um, you know, Doofenshmirtz, go.
D Perry! d.
Hey, Baljeet, where's your watermelon?
Here. Look at it.
It mocks me, bringing shame to my family.
Ferb, time for a little chemistry.
Mmm.
Could I borrow Ferb sometime?
The Flawless Girl booth,
- where is it? - Hey, you girl,
don't you ever look in the mirror and end up feeling bad about yourself?
Well…
For just $5 you can feel good about yourself in no time.
Oh, I don't need that.
I've got Flawless Girl cosmetics to make me feel good.
Y badda-bing, badda-boom.
You got your miracle growth elixir.
What are you guys up to?
Hey, Candace. We're gonna help Baljeet win
the "biggest watermelon" contest.
What's that? A cantaloupe?
Oh.
Not for long.
It worked.
Your miracle growth elixir has turned you into giant nerds.
I will call my family and tell them to start putting up the shame curtains.
No, wait. It hasn't taken full effect yet.
You'll see.
Not through the shame curtains, I won't.
You're Blanca Dishon.
I'm Candace. I'm here to become your next Flawless Girl.
Stand over by that sign please.
Hmmm. Aren't you a little short to be the next Flawless Girl?
- Oh… - Yes.
Yes, you are.
But I'm 5-foot-8.
Look, it's right in our song.
"At the forefront of every trend,
never less than 5-foot-10."
I thought you were just looking for a rhyme.
Nobody is perfect.
But you can come close by buying our complete line
of Flawless Girl skin care products.
Next.
So I can never be perfect.
No matter what I do I'll always be two inches too ugly.
I need a sudden growth spurt in the next 15 minutes.
- Oh, honey, it's not that… - I got it. Thanks, Mom.
Uh, you're welcome.
All this waiting is maddening.
Maybe we should put some more growth elixir on it?
Actually, it only works once.
Putting more on it won't make it grow any more.
But be patient, it's not done yet.
Yes, it worked.
I feel great.
In fact, I feel flawless.
It's amazing. Your height is now perfect.
You're now in the running to be the next Flawless Girl.
So are there Fireside Boys too?
Run!
I am going to need a crane
and a new pair of pants.
There you are. So what happened?
I'm in. Auditions start in two hours.
Hey, is there something different about you?
Who knows? Maybe I've grown out of my awkward phase.
Looks like you are growing into another one.
Oh, no, I have to find a mirror.
Oh, thank goodness. I look totally normal. Phew.
- Are you OK, Candace? - Wait a second.
If you look like that, what? Wha…? Wha…?
I've turned into bobblehead Candace.
No one will fork over $5
to see my pathetic oddballs anymore.
I gotta find some new talent fast.
I'm gonna have to call you back, Nanna.
Phineas and Ferb.
They did this to me? They can undo it.
Psst, Phineas.
Yes, strange talking tent?
No, it's me, Candace.
That's what happened to the growth elixir.
Please tell me you have some sort of shrinking antidote.
No, but don't worry, we'll get right on it.
Someone's coming.
Hello, boys. The name's P.P. Otter.
I run the oddball show.
Aren't you gonna introduce me to your friend in the tent?
Oh, that's our sister,
our… "big" sister.
OK, sorry.
Candace, this is P.P.
Yeah, we've met.
How would you like to make me rich
beyond your wildest dreams?
Sorry, I'm kind of going through something at the moment.
Well, if you change your mind, give me a call.
OK, guys, you gotta change me back.
The Flawless Girl auditions are in a couple of hours.
D Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated d.
What…? Oh, the festival is so loud,
I can't even hear my own evil jingle.
OK, guys, take it from the top.
Louder.
A-one, two
* Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorp… d.
Oh, what now?
A banjo-playing platypus?
Perry the banjo-playing platypus?
Uh, take five, guys.
Not you, Perry the Platypus.
I-if I can just have a word with you.
It's a cute little trap, isn't it?
I got the idea at my cousin Gertrude's baby shower.
Well, don't judge me. Men go to baby showers these days.
It was fun. Presents, blindfolded diapering…
I'm sorry, I'm off topic, aren't I?
It's this darn Midsummer's Festival, with the laughing and the music
and the constant ringing on my bell to use my bathroom.
Well, I'm going to put an end to it once and for all.
You see, I have created a device that will cover the entire Midsummer's Festival
with the worst smell in the history of mankind.
Dirty diapers.
And, yeah, I got all that from a baby shower.
How do you like me now, Perry the Judge-A-Pus?
Can't you just make up some kind of reducing cream,
or an amazing shrink ray device?
Well, we'll see what we can do, but we're not magicians.
I'm a freak.
I'll never be a flawless girl.
There's only one place where a girl like me will fit in.
The oddball show.
It was nice knowing you boys.
Tell Mom and Dad I love them.
From now on, I'll be living amongst the carnies.
Excellent. Now, all we need is a big promotional stunt.
Here's what I got in mind.
In a reversal of a familiar theme, you can climb a skyscraper,
carrying me dressed in this gorilla suit.
Um, OK.
How long have you been wearing that?
- All day. - So, Perry the Platypus,
I found a way to distill the smell of dirty diapers
into a concentrated liquid form,
which I will spread throughout the festival using my Smellinator.
And the next Flawless Girl is…
Oh, that is the most Flawless Girl I've ever seen.
Is all this really necessary?
Come on, kid. You can't back out now.
Candace. I've got some great news.
I can't hear you.
Ah, hold on.
I said I've got some great news.
You are the next Flawless Girl.
With your height, girls will never be able
to live up to the expectations you'll set.
They'll be forced to buy my product forever.
Scram. She's my oddball.
No, my Flawless Girl.
- She's a freak. - She's freakishly beautiful.
Wait a second. I just realized something.
You both make money off of people's natural insecurities.
You show people oddballs so that they'll feel better about themselves,
and you make beauty totally unattainable so they'll feel worse about themselves.
Look at me. I'm 50 feet tall now and it's still out of reach.
Well, I've had it. Making beauty the focus of my life
has distracted me from the real focus of my life.
Busting my brothers. Giant Candace is out.
Peace!
Growth elixir. So this is what she used.
Let me see that.
- It's my growth elixir. - No, it's mine.
- Mine. - Mine!
Now, watch as the smell of dirty diapers
permeates the very molecules that surround this building.
I just snap it into place and set the range for, say, 200 yards
around the building.
Hear that perry the platypus?
That is the sound of smell.
Nothing can stop me now.
Uh, oh, the whole universe.
Not good.
Mom. Mom!
Look what Phineas and Ferb did to me.
I am 50 feet tall.
I don't even fit in the
house. I'm back to normal.
Normal, being a relative term.
Well, it doesn't smell any different.
I wonder what went wrong.
Oh, here's my stinky-poo-poo stuff.
I thought I put this in my Smellinator.
No!
Oh, God, what was I thinking?
So did you win the giant watermelon contest?
I was about to when this happened.
So the watermelon shrank?
Well, either that or everything else in the universe just got bigger.
C'est la vie.
Shame curtains are not gonna hang themselves.
There's our new pet Goldie.
I wonder if we're as cute to her as she is to us?
Yeah. Yeah, we are.
What can we do for Goldie since she's already done so much for us?
A marine life aquarium? Great idea, Ferb.
Let's build the best ever of one of these
and give Goldie that special home she deserves.
Does that sound good to you, Perry?
So it's unanimous. Hey, where's Candace?
Candace, where are you? What are you doing?
Waiting for Jeremy to call.
Last night at the movies he said he was gonna call "soon."
I calculate that "soon" must mean first thing in the morning,
since "soon" can't refer to a period in excess
of or equal to 24 hours give or take a 59 minute cushion of time
on either side of the event in question.
See, I have it all figured out right here on this notepad.
I even showed my math.
- Uh… - Wait,
maybe I should have carried the one instead of dividing by Jeremy's face.
Well, I'm off to my favorite author's book signing.
Try not to freak out on your brothers while I'm gone.
Mom, I don't freak…
Oh, my gosh.
The square root of soon is never.
I got the filter done.
How's the water coming?
Herman, are you taking a shower?
No.
Well, you need one.
There you go, Goldie.
Your new home.
It's huge, it's amazing, it's…
It's lonely. We need to get her some friends.
Aren't you boys a little young to man a fishing vessel?
Well, yes, yes we are.
Well, all right then.
Hey, where's Perry?
Oh, Agent P, pardon the newspapers, but, uh,
we have a lot of new, young recruits coming through here today,
and, well, they're not, uh, trained yet.
Anyway, Doofenshmirtz has recently purchased
the Tri-State Area's entire supply of bratwurst.
Get to the bottom of it.
Oh, and, uh
watch your step on the way out.
Goldie, how do you like your new friends?
No!
That was cool enough to be in one of those trained marine animal shows.
Hmm… Ferb, I know what else we're gonna do today.
D Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated d.
Yoo-hoo, Perry the Platypus.
Say hello to the to the Platypus-Secret-Agent-Arrival.
In-Order-To-Foil-My-Evil-Plot Captureinator.
Or as I like to call it: My P.S.A.A.I.O.T.F.M.E.P.C-inator.
I made it up myself. Enough chit-chat, let me tell you my latest evil scheme.
You see, back before I was evil,
I was something a little less than evil.
I was a bratwurst street vendor.
D Doofenshmirtz quality Bratwurst d.
What? They had those.
See nobody remembers them. You know why?
Because of the hot dog vendors.
Oh, how I hated them. They had it all.
They had chrome-plated carts and endorsement deals,
fancy blimps. And what did we have?
Only superior workmanship, finer meats and exotic spices.
I was sure that it was just a matter of time
before the public would recognize our superior quality.
How do you know when you're really lame?
When you sell bratwursts.
Then and there I swore I would get my revenge.
Behold.
The Hot-Dog-Vendor Revenginator.
Or my H.D.V.R…
I admit, I-I have to work on my acronyms.
Here's how it works.
The Revenginator sends off a Freon blast to an unsuspecting hot dog vendor
encasing their hot water boilers in a sheet of ice
and rendering their hot dogs cold and soggy.
And once I've taken the hot out of the dog,
they'll be forced to sell my bratwursts instead.
Don't roll your eyes at me. It's a good plan.
Sorry to go off on you like that, Perry the Platypus,
but sometimes you just, ugh, really push my buttons.
Ooh, I can't take anymore. I'm just gonna call him.
D When will he call me? *
* When will it ring? *
* Sometimes I think my sanity *
* Is hanging by a shoestring *
* When will he call me? *
* How long is soon? *
* Should I check my watch my calendar *
* Or phases of the moon? *
* He doesn't have to call me *
* He can e-mail me or text me *
* But all this hanging by the phone *
* Has really vexed me *
* I've checked my messages *
* You know how it affects me *
* 'Cause finding nothing in my inbox *
* Really wrecks me *
* When will he call me? *
* Ooh-Ooh *
* When will he call me? *
* Should I check my watch my calendar *
* Or phases of the moon? d.
Hey, what's with all these kids?
That's what I thought.
Phineas and Ferb. I've so got them this time.
I can't send that to Mom.
Excuse me. Coming through. One side.
Hey, no cutting in line.
It's my backyard, I outrank you.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Goldie's aqueous extravaganza.
Uh-oh.
Ladies and gentlemen, our sister Candace.
Phineas!
That's the spirit, Candace. Everybody!
Make this fish put me down.
It's a mammal, Candice.
Way to go, Candace.
How did I get in this fish show?
- Mammal. - Whatever.
Wow, you're a natural, Candace.
Hey, look at that.
Ferb, where did the octopus come from?
Must… take… picture…
Send.
I've gotta tell you. I read your first book and I love it.
Do you have a high-strung teen at home?
Ah, you could say that.
- This must be her. - She sent you a picture?
Let me see.
Well, OK.
How bad can it be?
After all I've been through with my own…
Oh.
I think that maybe you need the rest of the set.
Uh, and why don't you take a whack
at that first book again.
And now, Perry the Platypus, it is time for revenge.
Goodbye hot dog street ven…
How did you get out of my trap?
A decoy?
That doesn't even make any sense.
But, OK, I surrender. I'm a reasonable man.
I know when it's time to
fight back!
Waa-ha!
Woo-ho-ho.
Your hot dog is no match for my bratwurst.
No, no, no, just kidding. I… But I made you look, didn't I?
Huh? Huh?
Wait a minute. Is that Jeremy?
What's he doing here?
Hey, Candace,
did you get my messages?
Messages?
Eleven messages?
He called me.
Go, Candace!
Not so hotsy totsy now, are you, Perry the Platypus?
Fire.
He called me.
I can't believe he really called me.
What happened to all the fish?
Oh, my.
Wow, you were great back there.
Thanks.
Great show, Ferb.
I don't remember freezing the tank
being part of the finale, but that rocked.
Looks like it didn't freeze all the way through.
Nice.
Eh, so what? Big deal. So it missed it's initial target.
A minor set back.
No, wait. You'll disrupt the pile's equilibrium.
Well, hot diggity…
Perry the Platypus!
I've been trying to call all day.
Uh…
- Do you wanna go do something? - Oh, my gosh, yes.
Really, you didn't even look at your messages?
Yeah, I know.
That's OK, Candace. You looked like you were pretty busy.
- Mom. - Hi, Mrs. Flynn.
- Hi, Jeremy. - You have to come to the backyard.
Phineas and Ferb built a whole aquarium
with whales and everything.
I'll call you in a little while.
You'll see. Ta-da.
Hi, Mom.
Look, honey, I brought you a book.
Did Jeremy just say he'd call me in a little while?
How long is that supposed to be?
Well, I guess Goldie and her friends are headed to the ocean.
Well, you know what they say: If you love something, set it free.
Yeah, we do that every day with Perry.
Oh, there you are, Perry, we were just talking about you.
Are you taking a shower now?
Yes.
Hot. That's burning.
That's ho… burn! Burn!
Oh, no, no, no.