* So the annual problem For our generation *
* Is finding a good way to spend it *
* Like maybe *
* Building a rocket or fighting a mummy *
* Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower *
* Discovering something That doesn't exist d.
Hey!
D Or giving a monkey a shower *
* Surfing tidal waves *
* Creating nano-bots Or locating Frankenstein's brain d.
It's over here!
D Finding a Dodo bird *
* Painting a continent *
* Or driving our sister insane *
Phineas!
D As you can see There's a whole lot of stuff to do *
* Before school starts this fall d.
Come on, Perry!
D So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! *
* So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! d.
Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!
Mom, the remote's not working!
You know, you could get up and walk five feet
and change the channel the old fashioned way.
Oh, be for real, Mom. I'd rather watch this stupid nature show.
I'll get batteries while I'm out.
This week on Walking with Nature,
one of the world's slowest creatures:
Chelonia mydas, the sea turtle.
Five feet, huh?
Nah, still not worth it.
Well, Ferb, time to make the sunniest day ever.
I guess it's already as sunny as it's gonna get.
Wow, it's not even lunchtime
and we're already done with today's project.
Think about it, Ferb. That means we have
the whole rest of the day to do another project.
It's like having two days in one.
Can't ask for better than that. Hey, Perry,
do you have any cool ideas for projects?
That's an egg. Perry laid an egg.
You know what this means, don't you?
We're gonna have two Perrys.
Congratulations, old boy, you're gonna…
Hey, where's Perry?
How did you like our new pneumatic transporter?
I used it myself this morning.
What? Oh, who am I kidding?
The new pneumatic transporter sucks.
I mean, literally sucked every piece of hair off my body.
Anyhow, Doofenshmirtz has bought up the Tri-State's entire supply of krill.
Krill?
Krill is a small shrimp-like creature
that plays an important role in the diet of the humpback whale.
Hmph. Krill.
You know, Ferb, Perry's egg is getting kind of cold.
No, I don't think that's gonna cut it.
This calls for desperate measures.
We need the ultimate, best-ever egg hatcher.
Ferb, I know what else we're gonna do today.
Five feet for popcorn, fine.
Five feet to change a channel, I don't think so.
This turtle is seeing the world for the first time.
Hey, this little fella's kind of cute.
Here's one that's found himself in the unforgiving position
of being stuck on his back.
Watch as he instinctively turns to his stomach.
Whoa. Cool.
But the sea turtles' struggles are just beginning.
Without the protection of their mother, they face many predators.
As you can see, they make easy prey,
even though the safety of the ocean is a mere five feet away.
All right, Ferb, let's get our nurture on.
Easy does it. There.
Activating temperature control.
Initiating platypus lullaby loop cycle.
Nothing says "mother's love" like a giant, robotic platypus butt.
Unbeknownst to the delicate infant turtle,
it's caught the eye of a sea hawk
and he's looking for a meal.
Sadly, the sea hawk wins this battle.
Unlike humans, sea turtles don't have a mother
to protect them through these crucial moments of infancy.
What's that?
Hey, Candace, Perry laid an egg.
It's OK, little guy. Candace is here to protect you.
What are you doing to this precious gift of life?
After Perry left his egg unattended,
we decided it would be best if we watched over it for him.
Given the rudimentary needs of the average egg,
we calculated the heat transfer due to elemental exposure,
plus the positive developing life responses
to familiar and expected sound
and factored in the obvious visual surroundings.
The result was the Plat-A-Droid.
But since we were pressed for time, we only built the platy-posterior.
That's so wrong in so many ways,
I don't even know where to start.
An egg is like a little baby.
It needs a living, breathing mother.
It needs… Hold on one second.
OK, let's do this thing for real.
D Doofenshmirtz holding a bucket d.
Ah, Perry the Platypus.
You're just in time for my back-story.
You see, it all started a lifetime ago.
I was young and in love with a beautiful girl.
She taught me how to see the beauty of life.
And I taught her how to hold a petty grudge.
She was very interested in whales for some reason.
In retrospect, it was probably more of an unhealthy obsession.
But to win her heart
I created the Whale Translator-inator!
I rented the best oceanographic vessel that I could afford,
and we headed out.
But when I turned the Translator-inator on…
What a loser that guy up there is.
She should dump that pink chimp
and go out with a real mammal like me.
She left me for that trash-talking,
thirty five ton pile of blubber,
and broke my fragile, ten ounce,
utterly too-human heart.
Unfortunately, my Translator-inator only worked in one direction,
so I was not able to tell the whales what I thought of them.
Until today. Watch this.
See? I taught myself whale song.
I just told him he's fat and he has barnacle breath.
Come on, come on, who's diabolical?
OK, first things first.
Dismantle that thingamajig of… Of weirdness.
Sometimes I swear I'm the only normal one in this family.
Like I said: Weirdness.
Now let's get serious. See what I'm wearing here?
Serious. This egg's not gonna hatch itself.
We need to build a nursery.
We have this cool blueprint for an incubator.
Too antiseptic.
Think warm and loving, not cold and clinical.
Hugs and kisses, not hard and mechanical.
D Motherhood's for life *
* It's not something In which you dabble *
* A machine's not built to last *
* I love you's Only technobabble *
* A mother knows What's necessary *
* 'Cause she always Pays attention *
* That's why They say necessity's *
* The mother of invention *
* Now I got you on the run *
* Technology: 0 Mother nature: 1 *
* When a child cries out In the night *
* It's rarely for The washing machine *
* Science can't improve Upon a mother's heart *
* But given time it can Trick out her spleen *
* So if you think you can build A better mother, let it go *
* 'Cause nature already nailed it Sixteen million years ago *
* You see Before we'd even begun *
* Game over Technology lost *
* Mother Nature won *
* Game over Technology lost *
* Mother Nature won d.
So how does it feel to have your platy-posterior
handed to you on a plate, son?
I just told him his macaroni and cheese recipe
is too cheesy and not macaroni-y enough.
Wait, wait, Perry the Platypus, what are you…?
Where are you going? Wait, wait!
My evil plan isn't evil enough for you to foil, is that it?
Really? I've just insulted
the macaroni and cheese recipe of a whale.
What part of that is not evil?
Perry the Platypus, you get back here and thwart me this instant!
There, that just about does it. Candace.
I'll say when it just about does it.
Mm-hm. Hm. Hm.
And how's my wugga-wuggums? So cute!
Hm. Not bad for a couple of boys.
- You're pretty good at this. - You bet I am.
This is what real mothering looks like.
Stymie me!
Foil me!
Hey, what about the fact that I held a petty grudge
against an inferior mammal all these years, huh?
Thwart me, Perry the Platypus.
Aw, come on!
I hope it's a girl. Come to mommy, snooka-wookums.
Huh? It was just a bird?
That's not just any bird.
That's a rare whale-song-singing double-breasted angle hooper.
The natural enemy of the platypus in the wild.
- Ow! - OK, OK,
I have something really evil.
Really, really… It's actually evil.
Just kidding! Ha-ha!
Ow, ow!
Candace, I have your batteries. Candace?
What are you wearing?
It's my… mom suit.
All right.
I'll try not to take that as an insult.
What is the rest of this?
Candace has us build this to show us what motherhood is like.
OK…
Candace, you made them build all this?
No, that's not fair!
You know, Candace, you're gonna have to clean all this up.
Mom suit. I swear. I'm not even gonna ask.
How do you only manage to see this one?
Why only mine? Wait, come back!
Oh, this is so unfair. Wait!
Hey, Candace.
I was just stopping by to invite you…
Well, nice mom suit.
See? He gets it!
- Heinz? - Elizabeth?
Best decision I ever made.
See? Isn't this the coolest game ever?
It's called "Jump and Duck."
Hey, how'd you get your face in there?
Easy. I just used this camera.
- See? - Cool.
And then you do this. And this.
And this, and this, and this, and this, and this.
And this, and this. And this, and this, and this.
And then this and this. And then that. Look.
This is awesome!
Stacy, you are talking to the luckiest girl in this house.
Jeremy is taking me to the summer cotillion!
Cotillion. It's like a dance.
Yes, it's a real word.
All I know is it's gonna be great.
Wait a minute. I just thought of something.
Two somethings actually. And one of them is pointy.
Stacy, I'll call you back.
It's time for a little pre-emptive bust.
So beyond jumping and ducking,
what's the actual objective of this game?
It's called "Jump and Duck," duh.
I can see no educational value in this game.
Ha!
- Consider yourself educated. - I stand corrected.
Far be it for me to cast aspersions on jumping and/or ducking,
but I think you can improve this.
- With a little effort we could… - OK, what are you guys up to?
- Playing a video game. - That's it?
That's all you're doing today? Huh, how normal.
I guess my night's safe after all.
Who would have guessed you two would get sucked into a video game?
- I'm gonna go get ready. - Sucked into a video game.
Brilliant! Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.
Hey, where's Perry?
Good morning, Agent P.
I've been monitoring Doofenshmirtz's Internet activity.
First, we know what you're getting for Christmas.
Don't ask, our lips are sealed. It's a vase.
Second, he's been doing a lot of research
into the molecular structure of taffeta, satin,
and most ominous of all:
Velour. Ugh.
D Perry d.
Introducing, the all new and improved "Jump and Duck,"
the world's first truly immersive video game experience.
Hey, Ferb, throw the switch.
Hey!
And once you're zapped into the game by the digitizer…
OK, what's going on? I was drying my hair.
Sorry about the power, Candace.
Ferb went to check the circuit breaker.
Jeremy is gonna get here any
minute.
Hey, where'd you guys go?
We didn't go anywhere.
But you're inside the video game.
What do you mean I'm in the…
Wow, cool. How come she got to go first?
D Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated d.
Ah, Perry the Platypus, you are too late.
Wait, is it 11:00 yet? Wait…
Now! Now you are too late.
So, Perry the Platypus, tremble in fear,
before the most twisted, nightmarish creation
the world has ever known!
The Ballgowninator.
You see? It's hard to fight
when you're in a ballgown.
It's portable too. Oh, you look so elegant,
like you're going to a cotillion.
It's a word. It means "dance."
So why would I create such a device as this? Hm?
You see, back in Gimmelshtoomp,
in the depths of my childhood,
my parents were expecting a brand-new baby girl.
My mother spent months knitting pretty dresses.
Unfortunately, the baby turned out to be a boy, and
because we were out of material,
I was forced to wear those same dresses for an entire year.
Drawing mockery and scorn from all of my manly classmates.
Now with my Ballgowninator,
I will be the manliest man in the Tri-State area!
You know, by comparison.
Because everyone else would be wearing dresses.
After I shoot them with my Ballgowniator.
Am I over-explaining this?
Because I had this whole musical number prepared and…
Oh. Oh, you're good? OK. Take five, girls.
You guys better get me out of here. I still have to get ready.
Well, we designed a whole bunch of different worlds
you have to go through to get to the boss.
But, you know, just continue screen right.
Can't you just press a button and get me there now?
Oh, you want cheat codes. No, we don't roll like that.
Just jump and duck.
[squash[.
OK, not necessarily in that order.
Just choose the appropriate action that corresponds
- to the height of the fruit. - What does that even mean?
Duck!
Now run! Duck.
OK, you could try to jump here.
Duck, duck, duck, duck. Duck, duck…
OK, stop falling. Stop falling.
Yeesh. Maybe we should go in and help her.
Don't worry, Candace, we're coming!
Hm, maybe they should call it "Jump, Duck and Blow."
Whoa. What happened here?
Oh, that's right. Candace has her hairdryer.
We'll just follow the carnage.
D Analog is so Five terabytes ago *
* Come inside This digital domain *
* We can't all be heroes *
* In a world Of ones and zeroes *
* We'll leave behind The boring and mundane *
* Don't be the bug In my system *
* Or else we're gonna Crash and fall *
* Yeah, let's go digital Let's go digital *
* Yeah, let's go digital *
* Yeah, let's go digital Let's go digital *
* Yeah, let's go digital *
* Virtual is so The only way to go *
* Cyberspace is really Quite a trip *
* When you switch your mode To raw binary code *
* We'll run amok Inside a microchip *
* Don't be the bug In my system *
* Or else we're gonna Crash and fall *
* Yeah, let's go digital Let's go digital *
* Yeah, let's go digital *
* Yeah, let's go digital Let's go digital *
* Yeah, let's go digital *
* Yeah, let's go digital Let's go digital *
* Yeah, yeah Let's go digital *
* Let's go digital *
* Yeah, let's go digital d.
You know, Perry the Platypus, that dress sort of suits you.
If, you know, you just accentuate the positive,
as they say.
Um, I'm going to stop talking now.
I'm moving into a weird…
Hey, what the heck? Ah! What's going on here?
Oh, it's on now.
Oh, great. Now everyone's staring.
Wow, the castle.
Nice art direction, Ferb.
I guess Candace already made it to the boss level.
Sweet. Come on!
I forgot that we made Buford the boss.
It's a little disturbing having him trying to obliterate us,
but it made him so happy.
Hey, ugly!
Drop the twerps, you freak!
Nobody picks on my brothers but…
Candace, look out!
All right, Candace! Way to…
Phineas? Ferb?
Phineas! Ferb!
No!
Hey, Candace. What's the matter?
You guys are OK?
Well, yeah. We have, like, four lives left.
Wait. You guys let me believe you were really dead?
If we ever get out of here, you're gonna be so…
Hey, what's going on?
Awesome. We're out. So you must've beat the boss.
Yeah. It was a piece of cake.
Cool. How'd you get him the second time?
What do you mean second time?
You know how after you defeat him the first time,
it comes back, and this time he's twice as strong?
- What did you then? - Um…
The last level's in the real world. Run!
No, guys. He looks like a nice guy.
Ow.
OK, maybe not.
Oh, now I see the educational value.
You know, eventually I'm getting out of here.
Exactly as planned.
- Hey, you! - Huh?
- Isabella, no. - Leave my friends alone.
- No! - Smile.
- Wow, Isabella, that was great. - You know what they say.
The bigger they are, the harder they depixelate.
Give it!
Seafoam green?
I'm actually more of an autumn.
- Candace? - Oh, no, Jeremy's here!
How am I going to get ready in three seconds?
Apparently, do what we did.
Oh, no!
I don't remember changing. Is this part of the game?
- Oh, there you are, Perry. - But what am I gonna do?
- Huh? - Wow.
You look beautiful.
I guess you… all look beautiful. Heh.
Thanks. We think it's part of the game.
OK…
- Shall we go, Candace? - Uh, yes.
Why do they call it a cotillion, anyway?
Oh, don't get me started.
And the queen of the summer cotillion is…
Oh, I am honored.
And at the same time, humiliated.
So thank you and curse you.