D There's a hundred And four days of summer vacation *
* And school comes along just to end it *
* So the annual problem For our generation *
* Is finding a good way to spend it *
* Like maybe *
* Building a rocket or fighting a mummy *
* Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower *
* Discovering something That doesn't exist d.
Hey!
D Or giving a monkey a shower *
* Surfing tidal waves *
* Creating nano-bots Or locating Frankenstein's brain d.
It's over here!
D Finding a Dodo bird *
* Painting a continent *
* Or driving our sister insane *
Phineas!
D As you can see There's a whole lot of stuff to do *
* Before school starts this fall d.
Come on, Perry!
D So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! *
* So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! d.
Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!
All right, Candace, I'm off to the grocery store.
- You're in charge. - Whoa, whoa, wait, wait.
By "in charge" does that mean
I'm in control of everything around here while you're gone?
- Yes. - Including Phineas and Ferb?
I'm the complete overlord of them?
Suddenly, I'm a little scared. But technically, yes.
So like, in a court of law, any…
Candace, I'll be back later.
Excellent. Oh, boys?
Hear ye, hear ye.
Mom has left me in charge,
so I hereby demand that you do nothing crazy today.
No building any whoosy-whatsits,
or goozy-mahookoffs.
In other words, don't be the world's most annoying brothers
for one afternoon, OK?
Your brothers are annoying you too?
Hi, I'm Mandy.
And me and my world's most annoying brothers
are visiting our aunt next door for the weekend.
Oh, you're Mrs. Weaver's niece.
- You have annoying brothers? - Oh, my gosh.
My brothers, Thaddeus and Thor, are constantly building
the most annoying contraptions on earth.
- Soapbox cars with lawn mower engines, - Uh-huh.
- Tire swings that launch over the roof, - Uh-huh.
A mini shopping center for the cat.
Finally. Someone who relates.
Listen to how annoying Phineas and Ferb are.
One time…
Gum me.
S'up, chumps? Thaddeus, Thor.
Overheard you two like to build stuff.
Where we come from, we're known as the best.
- Jealous? - No. No, I'm not.
Well, you should be.
Today, we're building the most awesome fort ever.
What do you think of that, suckers?
Cool. Good luck.
Gum me.
- Please. - Hey, where's Perry?
Agent P? Agent P?
Agent P? Where is he, Karl?
I don't know, sir. Maybe he decided to quit.
Quit? Why would he wanna do that?
Well, remember his last mission?
You were pretty tough on him, sir.
Hm. You're right, Karl.
I can be pretty rough sometimes. Poor Agent P.
Do you think the little guy will ever forgive me?
Oh, Agent P, you're here!
Ahem. So,
Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been sighted in the Danville Park.
We need you to make sure no one is in any danger.
There he goes.
Jeez, Karl, just hope I wasn't too rough on him this time.
I don't know, sir. He looked pretty upset to me.
I hate myself.
I don't know, Candace. In terms of obnoxiousness,
I'm sure my brothers have your brothers beat.
Oh, I beg to differ.
Yes, they're both obnoxious, but my brothers' stuff
has a sprinkling of awesomeness,
which makes it that much more annoying.
Um, have you not been listening?
Today my brothers are building a fort and it will probably be
the most obnoxiously, awesome fort ever built.
Not if my brothers are building one.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
It's on, sister.
Well, Thor, I know who we're gonna out-do today.
There you are. I order you to build a fort.
I thought you wanted us to take the day off and not annoy you.
Those kids next door are building a fort,
and I will be annoyed if theirs is better than yours.
Candace, we don't do this to compete.
- We do it for fun. - And for the ladies. Rowr.
Well, do it 'cause I say so!
D Doofenshmirtz Family reunion d.
Oh, hi, Perry the Platypus.
Welcome to the Doofenshmirtz family reunion.
They're just about to start the dreaded kickball game
that my mother organizes every year.
The one my brother's team always wins.
You see, I'm not very coordinated with my feet.
But with my hands… Hey, watch this.
See? I hold the cup-stacking world record.
But does my mother care? No!
You see, Perry the Platypus, throughout my childhood,
my mother's love was always inexplicably linked to kickball.
You know, I think…
I think this is best expressed through a song.
D My mother's love *
* Was always inexplicably Linked to kickball *
* And my brother was an expert From the start *
* But I lacked finesse *
* So when put to the test *
* I couldn't kick my way *
* Right into her heart d.
Ladies and gentlemen, Love Handel!
D Oh, yeah *
* He tried playing rugby *
* And soccer and football *
* He tried kick the can And even martial arts *
* But even with this dedication *
* I still got no coordination *
* He couldn't kick his way Right into her heart *
* Oh, yeah d.
Goodnight, Kimmelstock!
How do you like that, Perry the Platypus?
Love Handel, in my flashback.
I know people.
This year it's going to be different.
W- wait right here. I'll show you.
Behold, the Kickenator 5000!
Could you help me practice, please, please?
Just take the ball and go over there and then just roll it to me.
Go ahead. Any time. I'm ready.
Well, you… You threw it too early.
Couldn't you tell I wasn't ready?
Come on, try again. OK, do it right this time.
It's, uh… You know, it's a process.
- Whatcha doin'? - Building a fort.
What are you doing?
Showing two chumps how to build a fort.
Oh, no he didn't!
Phineas, how can I help?
Stainless steel 18-8 woodscrews, eh?
Pfft. The choice of amateurs.
Why? What kind of screws are your brothers using?
That's classified.
Isabella!
Get a tarp over that thing ASAP!
- What color? - Hey, where's Harry?
Yo. Over here.
Well, he is a contractor. They don't do much.
OK, slowly…
Not so fast. I can hardly keep up with it.
Heads up, Heinz!
You know what? Just…
Just bring the ball in front of the Kickenator.
Just put it right there. What are you doing?
I didn't say a mile away. Right here.
Bring it closer. OK.
No, no. Oh.
That's a little bit better.
Step back and get ready to witness some real kicking.
I did it! I did it!
I still did it.
All right, guys. It's do or die time.
This is the chance to really show your stuff.
'Cause there's no way you are gonna lose
to a couple of lame-os and their loser sister!
I can hear you!
I know, I said it loud!
Oh, Mom! Gotta get rid of her.
Oh, Mom. You're home, you're home.
But, uh, I think you should go back to the grocery store.
- Why? - Because I…
I bet you forgot, uh, that stuff!
Oh, I guess I did.
All right, throw these in the kitchen and I'll be right back.
Boy, that was close.
Oh, I'm next.
All right, easy out. Everybody move in.
Hey, you're not even a Doofenshmirtz anymore.
I kept the name.
You can do it, Dad! He can't really do it.
Welcome, citizens of Danville.
I give you the architectural stylings of Thaddeus and Thor!
- That's nice. - Pfft.
What you architectural illiterates see here
is a split-level edifice, complete with slide
and licorice dispenser.
Huh? What?
People, people, I'm not gonna soft pedal this.
That was adequate, but we're ready to witness
the greatest architectural feat this town has ever seen.
I give you, Phineas and Ferb.
You call that an architectural feat?
What? Have you lost your minds?
You've humiliated me in front of everyone.
- But, Candace, this… - Phineas, all summer long
you build the most amazing things,
and the one time I reach out to you as a sister,
the one time I count on you, you give me this?
- But, Candace… - No.
Just leave me alone.
- Excuse me! - Candace, wait.
- Whoa. - Whoa.
Ladies and gentlemen, topping our fort
is our homage to old-school construction.
And now for the rest of it. Ferb?
Ta-da! Our modern take on a well-known classic.
I… I did it. I did it! Ha-ha!
Who's the loser now, huh?
L-O-S-E-R. Who's the loser? You are.
Let's boogie. That's right. Let's boogie.
- You're out. - Oh, Roger, my son!
You make me so proud, again.
But… Ow!
Well, here's the foyer. All imported marble, by the way.
Here's the bowling alley. Pool.
Telescope. Terra cotta army room.
Jet engine wind tunnel!
And scoring stage with 40-piece orchestra.
We don't, however, have a licorice dispenser.
- That was a nice touch. - Yeah, that rocked.
Nice going. You broke their brains.
Come on, boys. I'm taking you home.
Hey, I got the stuff.
Thanks, Mom. At least you came through.
Well, Candace, as much as I hate to say this,
your brothers are the best.
A ten-story addition with a swimming pool.
Ugh! Why didn't you think of that?
Could it be true?
Candace, have you seen this?
I'm looking at it. Wait, where are you?
In the kitchen.
When I said, "throw these in the kitchen,"
I didn't mean it literally.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, Mom.
Candace, I'm not going anywhere
until you take care of this mess.
Well, fun's fun, but there are those pesky zoning laws.
I just felt a disturbance in the cup-stacking universe.
I think my record's been broken.
That wasn't so hard, now was it?
Mom, let's go, let's go!
Mom, I've been trying to tell you all summer.
They make these amazing things. Look.
Candace, you're right. It is amazing.
Hey, Mom. We've built a fort.
It's wonderful. Isn't it great?
The boys are starting to take an interest in building things.
- Who wants stuff? - We do!
OK, Stacy, we've got about ten minutes till Jeremy's party.
So you've gotta help me decide. Should I go with this swimsuit
- or this? - Hm, that's tough.
On one hand, if you go with the achromatic pink,
it kind of says: "Hi, I'm Candace and I'm bedraggled and pallid."
Trust me, you don't want that. I've been both.
But if you go with the more saturated pink,
it kinda gives you that overkill, out to kill,
"my currency is urgency" look.
I don't want that. I've been all three.
Let your subconscious do the deciding. Go with the one you touched first.
Of course. Stacy, you're a fashion phenom.
- Which hat should I go with? - I don't think it matters.
Yeah, you're right. I fuss too much.
Nothing starts off a day better
than some breakfast and some education.
We now return to Wacky Millionaires Throughout History.
Howard Hughes is probably best known
for building the Spruce Goose.
So called because of its wooden frame.
With a wingspan of 319 feet 11 inches,
it still holds record for being the largest plane ever built.
Wow, that's an impressive record.
Three hundred and nineteen feet, 11 inches
is just over the length of a football field,
and only one afternoon away from being broken.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.
Hey, guys, whatcha doin'?
We're making the biggest airplane ever.
Cool. Coincidentally we're going for our aeronautics patches.
Coincidentally we could use extra hands.
Coincidentally, we're in.
We're making our plane out of papier-mâché with newspaper.
Why? To make sure it's newsworthy?
And read all over.
Oh, oh. Ha-ha. And funny.
And funny.
Heh. You know, 'cause… 'Cause the funnies.
Heh-heh.
But seriously, Howard Hughes called his plane
the Spruce Goose, 'cause it was made of wood,
so we're gonna call ours the Paper Pelican.
'Cause it's made out of newspaper.
You know, so it will have a good circulation?
Aw, come on!
Hey, where's Perry?
Ah, Agent P.
We've just discovered Doofenshmirtz has been stealing bottles
from recycling bins.
And nothing good can come from that.
Unless, of course he's recycling,
in which case nothing but good could come from that.
Unless, he's recycling it into some hideous weapon,
which is something once again no good could come from.
Except, of course, for the recycling part,
which I guess is still, at its essence, good.
Even if you're making something evil, it's still reducing the…
You know perhaps we shouldn't even put
these "good" and "evil" labels on things.
Let's just say Doofenshmirtz is doing something neutral.
So just get out there and make sure it stays like that.
Huh?
D Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated *
Perry the Platypus?
Hello? It's for you, Perry the Platypus.
Ha-ha, prank call!
Now, say hello to my new evil weapon.
My Evaporator-inator!
It's made completely out of recycled materials.
It's green and evil.
I call it Greevil.
Back-story time!
You see, Perry the Platypus, when I was a young boy,
my mother would never let me swim in public pools.
No.
What? That's it.
You know, not every back-story has to have some big,
in-depth spiel, Mr. High Expectations.
Wait.
Now we're exactly fashionably late.
We're here. This is gonna be so cool.
- Hey! - Yeah, totally hey.
That is so cool.
- Who's that Jeremy's talking to? - I have no idea.
I've never seen her before in my life.
I thought Jeremy invited me to this party?
Let's not jump to conclusions yet.
- What is Jeremy doing with her? - Slow down.
You remember how you thought Jeremy was with a girl
and she wasn't even a she?
I think you ended up on that snowboard all crazy and out of control?
Yeah. But she's obviously a real girl.
So then I've got two west African pit vipers,
and had to dive off a 300-foot cliff,
and swim up through a school of piranha.
That's awesome, Nicolette.
Stacy, it's conclusion-jumping-to time.
Strategy session now!
She's amazing. She's all exotic and stuff.
She has on the same bathing suit as me,
only it's brighter and she wears it better.
And she dives off rocky cliffs holding poisonous snakes,
into piranha-infested water.
What am I going to do? She's like catnip for boys.
She's boynip!
Nicely done, people. Hey, Baljeet,
what are the stats on the Spruce Goose again?
The Spruce Goose's wingspan is 319 feet, 11 inches.
And the Paper Pelican's wingspan is…?
Three hundred twenty feet even!
Eat your heart out, Howard Hughes.
- Welcome aboard. - Welcome aboard.
You'd better have some decent grub on this bucket.
You will be most gratified.
As long as you find insignificant bags of peanuts gratifying.
Mm. Welcome to Wedgie-ville. Population: Me.
All right, Ferb, let's go through our pre-flight checklist.
Pilot's instruments, check.
- Copilot's instruments? - Check.
Looks like everything's a go, Ferb.
Let's switch her on.
Ignition.
Adjust angle of departure. Check.
We've reached cruising altitude.
You are free to move about the cabin.
- Would you like some peanuts? - I'll take two packs, please.
That better not be insignificant bags of peanuts.
No, of course not, sir. Heh-heh.
Here, sir, try our deluxe peanut chicken.
Our motto is: "So peanutty
you will not even taste the chicken."
D So peanutty You won't even taste the chicken *
I'd better not taste any chicken then, loser.
All right, you survive for now.
Oh, thank you, sir.
What are you worrying about? You're Candace Flynn.
Yeah, and she's super cool, foreign accent, snake wrestler,
high diving, natural hottie Nicolette.
Snake wrestler? Whatever. You've fought dinosaurs.
You've been to Mars. You've traveled through time.
- Choo-choo-choo. - Oh, yeah.
As for diving, you've been perfecting that quintuple
somersault backflip jackknife swan dive for a week now.
- You're Candace Flynn. - Yeah!
- I'm Candace Flynn! - Candace?
Oh, he remembers my name. How nice.
And now for your in-flight entertainment,
the Paper Pelican floor show.
D When we lift off Then you'll be tiptop too *
* How my heart It soars for you *
* Soon you'll be flying Gravity defying *
* Your dreams Will all come true *
* In the blue *
* Flying over Cotton-candy clouds *
* Hanging from the fuselage *
* A walk on the wing Is just the thing *
* For high in the sky montage *
* Darling Put your goggles on *
* Up, up and away we'll fly *
* In a big Ginormous airplane *
* In the sky d.
There's been a lot of talk around here
about diving and snakes and diving with snakes.
And snakes into pools filled with piranha and sulfuric acid.
I didn't say anything about sulfuric acid.
Leave all questions to the end of the rant? Thank you.
Now say goodbye
to splashy, pool time fun forever!
Even my power source is Greevil. Look, look, it's solar.
Do you mind, Perry the Platypus? This is really a two-handed job.
Huh? Seriously…
Now, as I was saying before I was so lamely interrupted,
I'm gonna show everybody a real daredevil dive.
Oh, well that's just not fair!
Hey, cool, it's like a half-pipe.
All right!
No, wait! No! Ugh, no.
I've been practicing diving, not skateboarding.
Ugh, everyone stop doing things I'm not good at!
Oh, this is a nightmare. Come on, Stacy, let's…
- Whoa! - Safety first.
- Whoa. - Safety first.
- Steering wheel?
How's this safe?
Wow, Candace.
That was your last highly-improbable judo-maneuver, Perry the Platypus.
I will now evaporatinate you into non-existence.
No, my… My power source.
Oh, great. Now I can't see a thing.
Curse you, Perry the Platypus!
- I can't see! - Candace?
That's gotta hurt.
This is your captain speaking. We're beginning our descent.
OK, everyone, please return your seats
to the upright position and please do not panic.
As you can see, the Paper Pelican is dissolving in water
because it is, after all, made of papier-mâché.
But do not worry, because your seat cushions
also function as floatation devices.
Thank you for flying with us.
Oh. There you are, Perry.
Well, every day is eventful in the emergency room.
Candace, you really should be more careful.
Mom, I told you, we had our helmets on.
So your cousin, Nicolette,
was trapped on a video game level?
Yeah, took her a week to get through it.
You didn't think she really did all those things?
Candace, heh, do you mind?
Yes. I mean, no. I mean, sign it.
Thanks.