Phineas!
D As you can see There's a whole lot of stuff to do *
* Before school starts this fall d.
Come on, Perry!
D So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! *
* So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! d.
Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!
From the PFT Studio in marginally attractive downtown Danville,
animated live in front of a studio audience,
it's the Phineas and Ferb Musical Cliptastic Countdown.
And now our hosts, from opposite ends
of the moral, ethical and philosophical spectrum,
Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz and Major Francis Monogram.
Hello, Danville.
Yes, we're taking a break from our usual hostili…
You know, I gotta go back one.
- Your first name is Francis? - Yes.
- It's spelled with an I. - Spelled with an I?
Wouldn't that be "Frin-cis"?
No. F-R-A-N-C-I-S.
It's the masculine spelling.
- Francis. - Yes.
Anyway, we're not here to discuss my name.
We're here because kids all over the world logged on to vote
for their favorite Phineas and Ferb music videos,
and we're counting 'em down, starting with number ten.
Are you ready, Dr. D?
Fran. Francis. Franny.
Yes, very macho.
Ugh. Now, see, this is why I just go by Major.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Candace and her best friend Stacy.
D You gotta bang y our Betty bongos *
* And bring your Betty bass guitar *
* And with the Betty back beat *
* You'll go Betty, Betty far *
* So drop your boring baggage *
* And come with Missy Ting and Crash *
* There's a Betty bandwagon *
* Going to a Betty bash *
* Get ready for the Bettys Ready for the Bettys *
* Ready for the Bettys *
* Ready for the Bettys d d It's the best thing you can do *
* Best thing you can do *
* Get ready for the Bettys 'Cause the Bettys are ready for you d.
What do you think your brothers are doing right now?
Who cares?
Well, how'd you like that one, D-Man?
Too loud. Kids today with their rock and their roll.
Well, here's a def jam that's really kickin' it old school.
You know that whole street lingo thing?
You can't really pull that off.
Ugh. Roll number nine.
I'm just telling you as a friend.
That's it. You're getting it.
D I was just a lonely girl *
* Looking for a little fun *
* Though without a friend in the world *
* I was forced to find a new one *
* Now I'm the queen of Mars *
* I was invisible on Earth *
* It only took a magic portal to Mars *
* To give me some self-worth *
* You put a crown on my head *
* And you all seem to worship me *
* But you don't understand A word I've said *
* Still you treat me like royalty *
* 'Cause I'm the queen of Mars *
* I was invisible on Earth *
* It only took a magic portal to Mars *
* To give me some self-worth d.
Whoo-hoo!
Follow that music, Ferb.
I'm standing here with Cindy,
an animated member of our studio audience who…
Phineas and Ferb rock!
- Whoo! - OK, then.
Let's throw it over to my partner in crime.
Not that I'd actually perpetrate a crime with him, of course.
I would never… Carl?
Who wrote these cue cards?
Agent M, sir.
What? What is that all about? I mean, he's using a typewriter.
When was the last time you saw someone using a typewriter?
- What is this, 1987? - Well…
You realize most of the kids watching this show
have never even seen a typewriter, right?
We're on a budget.
Oh, so you went to an antique store.
Moving on, number eight. Roll tape.
Oh, so you got tape. You're not just using film
or… or hand shadows.
D So you're saying That you don't have rhythm *
* But listen what you're doing Right there *
* With that stamp and a book You got a real nice hook *
* Sounds to me like you got Rhythm to spare *
* I have no idea What you're talking about *
* I've got as much rhythm as that chair *
* What happened to me was a tragedy *
* But I don't have to be a millionaire *
* Look, I got a sweet deal going on here *
* I got all the books that I can read *
* All these sweet old ladies *
* And this carpet from the '80s *
* What more Could a librarian need? *
* Besides I ain't got rhythm *
* No, I ain't got rhythm *
* Said I ain't got rhythm *
* I ain't got rhythm *
* You're kidding me, right? You're… You're kidding me *
* Don't you see what You were doing right then? *
* That's a wicked groove You were starting to move *
* Mister, you got rhythm times ten *
* I think perhaps That you're not listening *
* I find it tedious to repeat *
* It's no big crime I just can't keep time *
* I'm telling you I lost the beat *
* I don't need my face on T-shirts *
* Or hit a power chord guitar *
* They were screaming my name I guess it's a shame *
* But I don't need to be a rock star *
* Besides I ain't got rhythm *
* No, I ain't got rhythm *
* Said I ain't got rhythm *
* I ain't got rhythm *
* Ain't got rhythm d d Sounds like rhythm to me *
* No, I ain't got rhythm d d Seems like they all agree *
* No, I ain't got rhythm *
* But you're laying down Some funky syncopation *
* I ain't got rhythm d d But you got that beat *
* No, I ain't got rhythm *
* Look at them They're stomping their feet *
* I ain't got rhythm d d It's time for you *
* To rock a brand-new generation *
* Brand-new generation d d Gonna rock *
* A brand-new generation *
* Because I ain't got rhythm d.
Would you just go join the band?
- D We've got rhythm d. - Hey, hey!
- D We've got rhythm d - Hey, look at
- d We've got rhythm d. - Look at that trick.
- Check it out! Look at me. - d We've got rhythm d.
Hey, I got rhythm!
OK, anyway, I knew I couldn't appear
on the Cliptastic Countdown empty-handed,
so I brought a little something for all of us to enjoy.
Behold!
- The Music-Video-Clip-inator. - Oh!
You see, when I was a small boy, my parents would never let me
- watch music videos… - No, no.
We don't have time for an emotionally scarring back-story.
Well, maybe I should give you an emotionally scarring front story.
OK, that doesn't even make any sense.
It doesn't have to. I've got a monster truck.
Whoo-hoo!
- Video number… - Number seven.
That was my foot.
D Mom, it's your birthday *
* Thanks for all The care and love you give d.
Nice song, sis.
D Not to mention the meals *
* Sometimes I get kinda nervous d.
Come on.
D And forget to tell you how I feel *
* Shooby-doo, shooby-doo *
* I'm a little high-strung *
* It's just because I'm young *
* Mom, I adore ya *
* And I'll do anything for ya *
* Although my brothers make me frantic *
* With every single crazy antic *
* And when I'm bouncing off the walls *
* You're the one who stays calm *
* Because you love me for who I am *
* I'll always love you Mom d.
What Francis doesn't realize is that this is more
than a Music-Video-Clip-inator.
It's a Music-Video-Mind-Control-Inator.
Hi, um, ahem.
I mean, uh… I was… I was just saying,
mimes control my gator.
See? Look over there.
And you thought I was making it up.
Now on to video number six.
Candace, have you been near the wild parsnips again?
Yes, but you gotta see what Phineas and Ferb are doing.
What is it now?
Those boys are always up to something.
And it's bringing me to tears,
'cause just before you get home
it always just magically disappears.
D Those boys are evil *
* But before you get home They somehow always clean up the mess d.
Testify, Candace, testify.
D Those boys are evil d.
Let me spell it out for you, Mom. E-V-I-L B-O-Y-S.
D They built a roller coaster And a beach in the backyard *
* Drove cattle through the city *
* And messed up the boulevard *
* They took me back in time When we went to that museum *
* They built 50-foot tree house robots *
* But still you didn't see 'em *
* Those boys are evil *
* Their crazy shenanigans Cause me all kinds of distress *
* Those boys are evil *
- d Sing it with me d. - D E-V-I-L B-O-Y-S *
* I know you think they're saints *
* But, Mom I'm here to tell *
* The B-O-Y-S they're just E-V-I-L *
* Those boys are evil *
* They're making me feel like My head's in a hydraulic press *
* And I don't feel too good *
* Those boys are evil *
- d Everybody! D. - D E-V-I-L B-O-Y-S d.
That's what I'm talking about.
D E-V-I-L B-O-Y-S *
* That's right, those boys Are evil little boys d.
That was stupid fresh.
I'm making that one my ring tone for sure.
And right now, I've got a surprise
for all you hep youngsters,
a special guest whose got his own def theme song.
D Doobie-doobie-doo-ba Doobie-doobie-doo-ba d.
That's right, it's P to the P, P-squared,
or as I like to call him, Agent P.
- D Doobie-doobie-do-ba d. - D Perry d.
Hey, where's Perry?
He's doing a special appearance on a music video clip show.
Hm. Well, good for him.
Well, Agent P, I think everyone would like to know,
what are your thoughts on the videos we've seen tonight?
Well, thanks for coming.
And I think that sets up our next music video perfectly.
Here it is, thanks to your votes, video number five.
D Now somebody, anybody Everybody, scream d.
There are squirrels in my pants.
That girl's got some serious squirrels in her pants.
There's squirrels in my pants.
D Tell me what's making you Jump like that *
* S-I-M-P squirrels in my pants *
* Ain't got no chickens Ain't got no rats *
- d S-I-M-P squirrels in my pants d - Squirrels in my pants.
D S to the I to the M To the P *
* Then maybe you can be moving like me *
* Step right over And watch me put it down d.
Squirrels! Squirrels!
D Step right over and watch me put it *
* S to the I to the M To the P *
* Who you got back From watering your plants *
* S-I-M-P squirrels in my pants *
* How can I qualify For government grants? *
* S-I-M-P squirrels in my pants *
* Yeah, hypnotize me put me in a trance *
* S-I-M-P squirrels in my pants *
* Got an Aunt Florence living in France *
- d She can't see the… d - Squirrels in my pants.
D Step right over And watch me put it down d.
Squirrels! Squirrels!
D Step right over and watch me put it *
* S to the I to the M To the P *
* If you wanna know How I'm doing this dance *
* S-I-M-P squirrels in my pants *
* There's something in my trousers You know it ain't ants *
* S-I-M-P squirrels in my pants *
* Proletariat bourgeoisie *
* Baby, you don't need An academic degree *
* Everybody smelling my potpourri *
* S to the I to the M To the P *
* Step right over And watch me put it down d.
Squirrels! Squirrels!
D Step right over and watch me put it *
* Down, down on the ground *
* 'Cause you know I got it going on *
* S to the I to the M To the P *
* If your pockets are empty Get a cash advance d.
- Squirrels! Squirrels! - D S to the I to the M To the P *
* If you're losing your hair Get yourself implants *
* If you're wrestling a bear Then you ain't got a chance *
* Old Uncle Freddie just rages and rants *
* Ain't about love ain't about romance *
* I got squirrels in my pants d.
Don't go away, folks.
When we come back, we'll have the final four
plus a special video that will enslave the Tri-state Area.
Uh, I mean, uh, engrave my
pie-plate carrier.
Look, it's silver.
It was a wedding gift. I got it in the divorce.
That's right, ladies. I'm available.
Wait, you're getting paid for this?
I'm doing this as community service.
I gotta do like 200 hours.
The show is only half an hour long.
I have to do this 400 times?
Oh, and we're back.
We're counting down the top ten Phineas and Ferb music videos
from season one, as picked by you, the viewers.
Well, you are definitely buying lunch.
So, here's a little number I like to call four.
Kind of miss the little guys.
It's as if there was a whole other side to our relationship
that I never noticed before.
D Little brother *
* I remember when you first came home *
* Then came another *
* Little brother of our own *
* Even when you break my toys *
* You will always be my *
* Little brothers *
* 'Cause you're younger, we're related *
* And you're boys *
* Even when you're making too much noise *
* You will always be my *
* Little brothers *
* 'Cause you're younger, we're related *
* And you're boys *
* Little brothers *
- d Little brothers d - Uh, Stace?
You're kind of bumming me out with the song there.
Tubular.
If I had been wearing socks,
they would have been rocked right off.
You're really not wearing socks?
Well, but not at the moment.
Carl, how are my socks coming?
Almost done, sir.
Well, here's video number three.
D I can see the things You're doing *
* And you think that I'm naive *
* But when I get the goods on you *
* She'll finally believe *
* Well, she says It's all just drama *
* But every bubble's got to pop *
* She's gonna see just what you're doing *
* And then you're finally Gonna have to stop *
* Don't think You're gonna win this time *
* 'Cause you better believe I'm gonna drop a dime on you *
* I'll get ya! I'll get ya! *
* And when I do you're gonna be busted d d Busted *
* I don't wanna put the hurt on you *
* But you better believe me When I tell you *
* That I finally got the dirt on you *
* You're busted d d Busted *
* Yeah, she's finally Gonna see the light *
* This is how it's gonna be *
* When she finds out That I was always right *
* You're busted *
* There's a new cop on the beat *
* And I'm bringing down the heat *
* My eyes are wise to all your lies *
* 'Cause you're not that discreet *
* And I don't care what you've heard *
* 'Cause there's one six-letter word *
* It's gonna set me free d d Gonna set me free *
* Starts with a B d d Starts with a B *
* Goes B-U-S-T-E-D *
* You are busted d d Busted *
* I don't wanna put the hurt on you *
* But you better believe it When I tell you *
* That I finally got the dirt on you *
* I'll get ya! D d You're busted *
* Yeah, she's finally Gonna see the light *
* Drop it down on you d d This is how it's gonna be *
* When she finds out That I was always right *
* I'll get ya! I'll get ya! D d You're busted d.
Fantastical.
Say, Doofenshmirtz.
What you working on over here?
Your doom.
Great googlie-mooglie.
Carl, get me Agent P.
He's in the green room, sir.
Well, that should be easy then.
Please enjoy music video number two.
All hail Queen Wahini!
I can't believe it.
D Listen up, people and I'll teach ya *
* 'Bout Phineas and Ferb And a backyard beach, yeah *
* Every morning Phineas, he gonna say d d Say *
* "Brother, what you gonna do today?" *
* Now, you see we having fun Playing under the sun *
* And get in line, get in line 'Cause the wet ski's running *
* A backyard beach, a backyard beach *
* Nothing's out of reach We got a backyard beach *
* You can change in the broken hut *
* Drink out of a coconut Three games for a token *
* But the rest is free *
* You got skiing, parasailing Surfing and a-flailing *
* Your contacts need saline Or else you can't see *
* We got a backyard beach A backyard beach *
* Nothing's out of reach We got a backyard beach *
* Got a backyard beach, a backyard beach *
* Don't fall into the breach Got a backyard beach d.
Now, my ultimate triumph is at hand.
Prepare to be hypnotized by a video scientifically created
to get stuck in your heads forever!
D My name is Doof And you'll do what I say *
* Woof, woof *
* My name is Doof And you'll do what I say *
* Woof, woof d - No!
D My name is Doof And you'll do what I say *
* Woof, woof d.
His name is Doof and I'll do what he says.
Woof, woof.
D My name is… d.
Avert your ears, Agent P.
- Avert your ears. - D Woof, woof *
* My name is Doof And you'll do what I say *
* Woof, woof… d.
No, no, no, no.
Get back in there!
Wait, why is it…? What?
Perry the Platypus?
I swear, of all the aquatic mammals I hang with,
you are truly the most uncooperative.
His name is Doof and we'll do what he says. Woof, woof.
It's working. It's working.
Oh, no, Agent P, it's stuck in their heads.
We need something even more catchy to counteract it.
But… But what could we… Agent P?
Agent P, this is no time for decorating.
Ooh, I see.
No!
Not the number one-requested Phineas and Ferb song.
New extended version, never before seen.
Not that!
Ladies and gentlemen, the Ferbettes.
I'm Phineas, and this is Ferb, and we're gonna sing a song.
D Bow-chicka-bow-wow d d That's what my baby says *
* Mow, mow, mow d d And my heart starts pumping *
* Chicka-chicka-choo-wow d d Never gonna stop *
* Gitchi-gitchi-goo Means that I love you *
* My baby's got her own way of talking *
* Whenever she says something sweet *
* And she knows it's my world She's a-rocking *
* Though my vocabulary's incomplete *
* I know it may sound confusing d d Oh *
* Sometimes I wish She'd give it to me straight *
* But I never feel like I'm losing d d Losing *
* When I take the time to translate d d Here's what I'm talking 'bout *
* Bow-chicka-bow-wow d d That's what my baby says *
* Mow, mow, mow d d And my heart starts pumping *
* Chicka-chicka-choo-wow d d Never gonna stop *
* Gitchi-gitchi-goo Means that I love you *
* Well, I don't know what to do d d I don't know what to do *
* But I think I'm getting through d d I think I'm getting through *
* 'Cause when I say I love you d d When I say I love you *
* She says "I gitchi-gitchi-goo you too" d d Gitchi-gitchi-goo you too *
* Gitchi-gitchi-goo you too d d Gitchi-gitchi-goo you too *
* Don't need a dictionary *
* Bow-chicka-bow-wow d d That's what my baby says *
* Mow, mow, mow d d And my heart starts pumping *
* Chicka-chicka-choo-wow Never gonna stop *
* Gitchi-gitchi-goo Means that I love you *
* I said bow-chicka-bow-wow d d That's what my baby says *
* Mow-mow-mow d d And my heart starts pumping *
* Chicka-chicka-choo-wow d d I'm never gonna stop *
* Gitchi-gitchi-goo Means that I love you *
* Baby, baby *
* Baby *
* Baby, baby, baby *
* Gitchi-gitchi-goo Means that I love you d.
Great job, Agent P.
You stopped Doofenshmirtz, saved the Tri-state Area
and finished the music video countdown.
Well, thanks for tuning in, folks.
We'll see you next time.
Say goodnight, Doofenshmirtz.
You know, someday I'll get out of this cage,
but your name will still be Francis.
D Step right over And watch me put it down d.
Squirrels! Squirrels!
D Step right over and watch me put it *
* Down, down on the ground *
* 'Cause you know I got it going on *
* S to the I to the M To the P *
* If your pockets are empty Get a cash advance *
- d S to the I to the M To the P d - Squirrels! Squirrels!
D If you're losing your hair Get yourself implants *
* If you're wrestling a bear Then you ain't got a chance *
* Old Uncle Freddie just rages and rants *
* Ain't about love, ain't about romance *
* I got squirrels in my pants *