D There's a hundred And four days of summer vacation *
* And school comes along just to end it *
* So the annual problem For our generation *
* Is finding a good way to spend it *
* Like maybe *
* Building a rocket or fighting a mummy *
* Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower *
* Discovering something That doesn't exist d.
Hey!
D Or giving a monkey a shower *
* Surfing tidal waves *
* Creating nano-bots Or locating Frankenstein's brain d.
It's over here!
D Finding a Dodo bird *
* Painting a continent *
* Or driving our sister insane *
Phineas!
D As you can see There's a whole lot of stuff to do *
* Before school starts this fall d.
Come on, Perry!
D So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! *
* So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! d.
Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!
OK, what the heck is that sound?
Come on, Ferb.
I know what we're not gonna do today.
We're not gonna figure out what we are gonna do today
as long as that noise keeps up.
If you don't stop that racket,
I am so gonna bust you,
empty back yard?
Candace, stop trying to bust your back yard.
Jeremy! Yes?
Yes. We'll see you in a bit.
Thanks. No you get off the phone…
Hello?
So, what's the scoop?
Jeremy just invited us to his friend's concert.
Oh, I don't know.
Lately, I've been feeling like a third wheel around you guys.
What? No.
I always saw it more like Jeremy and I were two wheels
and you were separate, on a unicycle all:
D Doo-doo doo-doo-doo-doo d.
Wait a minute, I just thought of something.
Jeremy's never given me a nickname.
I refer you to the Chart.
Oh, goody. The Chart.
See, Jeremy only calls me "Candace" and nothing else.
When a guy makes you his girlfriend
he comes up with a nickname for you.
A pet name like "baby", "honey", "Peg-leg Pete."
His own personal stamp.
Maybe you should just let whatever happens happen.
You know, naturally.
Naturally?
Where that coming from?
Baljeet's house?
For such a mild-mannered kid,
we wind up here for a lot of weird reasons.
I wish I had some earplugs.
Thanks, dude.
So, uh, what up, Jeet?
Oh, hello, my friends.
I did not hear you come in.
Is everything OK?
If by "OK" you mean that my life is a meaningless
black cauldron of swirling failure,
then, yes, everything is groovy.
That's not at all what I meant by "OK."
I signed up for a class called "Summer Rocks"
believing it was a geology course.
It turned out to be a rock 'n' roll camp.
And no matter how hard I study, I just do not rock.
I could actually get an, eh…
An… Oh, I cannot even say that terrible letter!
Ineas. Erb.
What am I going to do?
Well, that was an interesting sound
you were getting out of your guitar.
I think you'll be just fine.
That was not my guitar.
That was me. I call it the "Fail Wail."
Baljeet. Baljeet, whoa. Hey!
Thank you. We can show you how to rock.
- Really? - Absolutely.
Hey, I think the Fail Wail scared Perry off.
Ticket, please.
Right this way.
Enjoy the show.
Evil.
Wait.
You.
Await.
Evil. Awaits.
- Cut. Cut. - Oh, come on!
Sorry, Agent P.
Carl has been taking some film classes,
and now believes I'm stifling
his "creativity" as my cameraman.
Camera artist.
Seems Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been buying
baby supplies all over town.
One can only imagine what he's doing.
Two can discuss it between themselves.
More than two is, frankly, a waste of our resources.
Good luck, Agent P.
OK, once more with feeling.
The agency isn't paying for these classes, are they, Carl?
I have read every book on the history of rock music.
Gosh, Baljeet, rock 'n' roll isn't about books,
it's about letting go and having fun.
Rock 'n' Roll is a way for you
to tell the world how you feel.
- Feel about what? - Expressing yourself.
- I mean, what do you do when you're angry? - Math.
- OK, what about when you're sad? - Math.
- Happy? - Math.
So every feeling you have makes you wanna do math?
I do not know if there is so much cause and effect.
I do a lot of math.
The feelings come and go.
What kind of concert is this?
It's the Summer Rocks Graduation Concert.
Jeremy's friend Coltrane is an instructor.
Look, there they are!
Oh, that's Coltrane. He's really cute.
Hm, I guess he is.
Hey, wait a minute.
You like Coltrane.
Well, I've never actually talked to him before, but…
Quick, what should we do?
Hide? No, wait. Pretend you're a talent scout.
Ooh, here, I think I have a fake mustache on me.
Let's just go over and say hi.
What do you think it means when a girl
leaves a fake mustache at your house?
- Hi, guys. - Hey, gals.
Ha, "gals." Yeah, that's me.
"The Gal." Gosh, when did you start calling me that?
Hi, I'm Stacy.
Hey, how you doing, Stacy? I'm Coltrane.
- I like your hair. - Thanks. I like your bow.
- Let me show you around. - Cool.
Hey, Coltrane and Stacy.
That was easy. What?
D Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated d.
Oh, congratulations! It's a platypus!
What do you think of my new Nanny-inator?
Nice, huh? You know what time it is?
Evil story time.
See, I wrote my new evil scheme in pop-up book format.
Once upon a time, yesterday, like a quarter to six,
I was watching a nature documentary,
and I learned how, before a baby's born,
its constant companion
is the soothing, steady beat of its mother's heart.
Even after it's born, the sound of the mother's heartbeat
continues to be a safe, calming beacon to a growing child,
in some cases, up until their early 30s.
Suddenly, I was struck with a brilliant idea:
To project the sound of my own heartbeat across the city,
causing all the babies
to believe that I am their leader.
Like the Pied Piper, except with babies.
I will have a mighty baby army and no one would fight back.
Because, you know, they're babies.
Finally the time came for me
to tell you my evil plan in pop-up book form. And…
Oh, I-I'm sorry, the book seems to have caught up to us in real time.
Anyway, behold: The Bum-Bum-inator.
Rock's not about getting good grades and following the rules.
It's about rebellion.
It's about using music to express your true feelings and emotions.
Just play how you feel.
Baljeet, that's… That's just an A chord.
I feel like I want an A.
This is gonna be harder than we thought.
Do you think you could teach me how to play the bass?
Let's see if you have big bass-player hands.
Uh, excuse me for a second.
I have to go talk to my friend in the bushes.
Cool. I gotta go get this show started. Save me a dance?
What are you doing?
How's it going with you and Coltrane?
I think it's going really well. He asked me to save him a dance.
He did?
What do you think he meant by that?
I'm pretty sure he meant he wants to dance with me.
Hm, men and their impossible, endless riddles.
So how's it going with you? Has Jeremy nicknamed you yet?
No.
Maybe Jeremy just isn't the kind of guy who nicknames people.
- Huh, you could be right. - Look, here he comes now.
Yo, T-Bone. Hey, Clamo.
What up, Sassy Miss K?
Mo-Mo. Binky.
Hi, Candace, where you been?
I'll, uh… I'll see ya later.
Catch you later, Stac-a-roo.
What?
Oh, I do not know about this.
You'll be great.
Just remember what we practiced.
Follow the beat and let your feelings out through the music.
I'm about to let my feelings out through these pleather pants.
OK, I'm almost ready, Perry the Platypus.
This monitor takes my pulse
and transmits it to the Bum-Bum-inator,
which will then broadcast my heartbeat
to all the babies in the Tri-State Area. See?
You might say I'm wearing my sleeve on my…
I mean my heart is wearing… Oh…
Never mind. Whatever. You get it.
And now the band you've all been waiting for:
The Baljeatles.
Hey, cool beat, Buford.
Uh, thanks?
What's up, Baljeet? Your band is waiting for you on stage.
I can't do it.
I just do not know how to rock.
I know I'm going to get a bad grade.
Wait, what are you talking about grades?
This is Summer Rocks. There are no grades.
No grades?
- Oh, so it is pass/fail? - No.
We use a free-floating curriculum to encourage kids
to just rock out and have fun.
I do not believe this!
I wasted all this time in a class without grades?
If only there was some other kind of outlet for me to express
these feelings to my like-minded peer group.
Pardon me, I want to try something.
Oh, yeah.
I have got something to say.
D I have been burned *
* By fake lesson plans *
* And a free-floating curriculum *
* I like my rules, baby, etched in stone *
* 'Cause you know I am going To stick to them *
* Can I get a syllabus? A little discipline *
* Judge me on a scale from A to F *
* You wasted all my time Learning how to rhyme *
* And left me hanging From a treble cleft *
* Somebody give me a grade d d Somebody give me a grade *
* Somebody give me a grade *
* I need the man keeping me down *
* Somebody give me a grade d d Somebody give me a grade *
* Is there a red band in this town? *
* Somebody give me a grade d d Somebody give me a grade *
* Somebody give me a grade *
* I already said it I may not get a credit today *
* Somebody give me a grade *
* And make it an A d.
OK, now to relax and keep my heart rate slow and steady.
You know, because too much excitement would cause my heart
to beat too fast and short out the Bum-Bum-inator.
Change time. Change time.
Perry, the Platypus, stop chasing me. I'm supposed to keep my heart rate down.
Ooh. I am so upset!
D I am stone-cold on a roll *
* I won't be told how to vent *
* I won't cry outside I'm here to testify *
* But with the establishment *
* My parents understand me Put conformity inside of me *
* Which I can help the system out *
* I ain't gonna waste my summer Taking beatings from my drummer *
* Put a mike in front of me And I'll shout *
* Give me a grade d d Somebody give me a grade *
* You know, I'm gonna wreck the curve *
* Somebody give me a grade d d Somebody give me a grade *
* They only letter I deserve *
* Somebody give me a grade d d Somebody give me a grade *
* This isn't a request I demand there be a test today *
* Somebody give me a grade d d Somebody give me a grade *
* Give me an grade d.
Uh-oh.
Not good.
Wait, is that the Baljeatles?
Just call me "Can't Dance" Flynn.
OK, that's your new nickname.
Wait, what? No.
I'm not supposed to nickname myself.
You're supposed to come up with it.
You don't even care enough to try.
Hey, wait a second.
I call you, Candace.
But not because I don't care enough
to come up with a cute nickname for you.
I call you Candace
because I happen to really like that name.
You do?
Of course I do. Because it's your name.
That was easy.
Well, Baljeet, if it means anything,
I'd give you an A-plus in rock.
No, that means almost nothing.
Dad, I need a car.
I can't keep riding on the back of your scooter
every time I go some place.
It's totally embarrassing.
Hey, sweetheart,
how would you like to take a ride on a real bike?
She's 16.
Oh, yeah!
You know, ever since I installed the Away-inator on my helmet,
driving is fun again.
Hey, Ferb, check this out.
The super-duper mega store is the largest supplier
of everything in the Tri-State Area.
Ha, I know what we're gonna do today.
Well, I'm gonna buy Jeremy a gift.
It's the anniversary of the very first time
Jeremy and I went to Slushy Burger.
He spilled a cheese dog on me
and the mustard got all over the place.
He was so sweet.
Hm. Tough one. I don't think they make a card for that.
So, Mom,
what are you gonna get at the store?
I need a 25-pound tub of mayonnaise.
And 80 pounds of potatoes to make potato salad for the bridge club.
Wow, that's a lot of potato salad.
Remember to meet me back at the car in three hours.
Wow, think of it, Ferb,
52,637,000 square acres
of unbridled consumerism all under one roof.
You can whistle that again.
And you get to go to the pet-sitters, Perry.
If you want a car,
you're going to have to prove to me that you're responsible,
that you can do things by yourself.
How can I do that when I'm always on the back of your scooter?
It's a conundrum, isn't it?
Psst. Agent P.
Agent P. Down here.
It's the new dog bone communicator. Pretty clever, huh?
I thought of it, Agent P.
Carl, I'm trying to use the bone.
Anyway, Agent P,
we've learned that Dr. Doofenshmirtz is shopping
for parts to build another one of his outlandish devices.
Put a tail on him.
You look fabulous.
So, I've got to find some way to prove to you I'm responsible.
There must be an easier way to earn a car.
You know what they say about taking the easy way.
What do they say?
Well, I could tell you but that would be taking the easy way,
and you know what they say about that.
Oh, look, pizzazium infinionite.
What's that?
You've heard of hydrogen.
You may know boron.
But of all the elements on the periodic table,
none is more fascinating and less abundant
than pizzazium infinionite.
Pizzazium infinionite was first discovered by fortune hunters
50 years ago in the year 1894.
No one is really sure what it does,
But look to the future for hover vehicles
powered by pizzazium infinionite
in the world of tomorrow.
See? That's what it is.
- Where did you get the…? - It's gone!
Someone took the last one!
What luck. Pizzazium infinionite.
That science prize is as good as mine.
So why am I here again?
Because as a person of superior intellect,
I require an angry wall of meat to protect my science project.
Angry wall of meat, huh?
Yeah, I could do that.
Oh, great, now I have to scour this whole place
and find the pizzazium and probably have to wrench it out
of the hands of some random shopper…
Wait, Dad, I can do this for you.
I can go find this… this pizzazium thing
and prove to you that I can be responsible.
That I can do things on my own.
Then you can get me my own car, right?
I don't know. Are you sure you can…?
Of course I can. I'm me. It'll be a piece of cake.
We'll see.
- I'm not hearing a no. - I'm not saying a yes.
Here, you can take this pizzazium locator. It'll help.
How am I gonna find that one perfect gift in this humongous store?
- Hey, isn't Jeremy into camping? - Yeah.
So maybe a pocket knife or a fishing lure, or a compound bow.
Take that, apple on kid's head.
He said he needed a lantern.
Yeah, a lantern's good.
And then I will start my own foundation to…
Are you not hearing me?
What? Buford hungry.
I really have to rethink having you as my wall of meat.
Too big. Too small.
Oh, I don't wanna just get him any old lantern.
You can't expect the perfect gift to just drop out of the sky.
But…
- Whoa. - It's perfect.
It's all futuristiky. And cool.
And it dropped out of the sky.
Well, I guess I stand corrected.
When Jeremy looks into its bright glow, he'll think of me…
Hey, what's this?
Hey, buddy, watch where you're…
Say, you look fabulous.
Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
No need to get huffy. You ran into me.
Ah.
You know, Ferb, I think I know what I wanna do every day.
Well, that was easy.
I gotta get it. Gotta get it.
Gotta get it. Gotta get it. Gotta get it. Gotta get it.
Yes! Mine, mine, mine.
What…? Hey, watch where you're…
Great, now this thing is broken.
And they got the pizzazium…
Look, thanks for your help,
but I can do this on my own, OK?
That lantern was the perfect gift.
Whoo-hoo!
Buford and Baljeet? How did they get it?
D I can do it I can run *
* I can hunt you down *
* You can try but you can't stop *
* Because I'm gainin' ground *
* I'm light on my feet And I'm quick to the punch *
* I had a heavy breakfast *
* But a real light lunch *
* I'm a raging bonfire *
* A cherry bomb *
* I'm me *
* I'm rough-and-tumble *
* I'm the one to beat *
* I'm a fresh coat of blacktop Burnin' at your feet *
* I got a poisonous sting *
* When I rain, I pour *
* I'm the best of best *
* I'm the soup du jour d
* I'm smooth as glass *
* And sharp as a tack *
* I'm me *
* I'm the last invested *
* Good gum in a pack *
* I'm me *
* I'm a strong-runnin' fast-talkin' *
* Big, bad dog-walkin' *
* Highfalutin, drum-beatin' *
* Foot-stompin' corn-poppin' *
* Speedin' locomotive That just won't stop *
* I'm a hot apple pie With a cherry on top *
* I'm a crowd-pleasin' head-spinnin' Winning in the ninth inning *
* Whip-lashin' record-smashin' Blacktop party-crashin' *
* Cyclone of fun, come on, all in one *
* I'm strawberry sprinkles On a hot cross bun *
* I'm a big hay maker in a title fight *
* I'm a cute black kitten With an excellent vibe *
* I'm an action double feature On a Friday night *
* I'm me *
* I'm me d.
Ferb, you gotta try this chair.
I can't feel my brain.
Oh, I hope nobody sees me in here.
Ferb, honey, aren't you a little old
to be playing in the ball pit?
Yes. Yes, I am.
OK, then.
Your name is Ferb?
Well, yes, it's short for… Oh, here it is.
Thanks, Ferb. See you around.
"Push button, start mower."
Does this really work?
I will take that.
Ferb, my fingers look just like snakes.
Oh, it's one of those 3-D things.
I can never really see the… Oop, there it is.
Ferb!
Check it out.
They do make a card for a spilled cheese dog with mustard.
Well, Ferb, you certainly know how to show a girl a good time.
I've gotta get this to my dad immediately.
Whoa.
Well, that worked.
I got it. I got it.
I got it.
Excuse me, sir. You know, you have to pay for this.
I was. I was going to pay.
Tell it to the judge.
Don't worry, guys, we'll get this all straightened out.
V-Vanessa. Vanessa. No, no you can't take me.
I don't have anyone to curse!
Whoa, Mom. Do you think you found everything you need?
I think I have enough to tide over the bridge club.
That's a lot of potato salad.
Well, time to find out where they dragged Dad off to.
Guess that car will have to wait.
Oh, yeah. Thanks.
Mwah.
Did I miss something?
Thanks, Ferb.