* Or driving our sister insane *
Phineas!
D As you can see There's a whole lot of stuff to do *
* Before school starts this fall d.
Come on, Perry!
D So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! *
* So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! d.
Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!
OK, the camera's all ready.
We're almost finished
with our exact replica of the Temple of Angkor Wat,
constructed entirely out of playing cards.
Hey, where's Candace? I bet she'd love to see this.
"Does he think you're pretty enough?
Ten ways you could be better."
Wow. Ten ways? Thank you, Quazmo magazine.
- Jeremy. - Hey, Candace.
Um, so listen, I'm really sorry, but something's come up
and I won't be able to make it to our date tonight.
I hope you understand. Hello?
Candace, are you there?
Hello?
Well, I guess we got cut off.
He just broke our date and hung up on me.
Oh, it's probably not as bad as I think.
Let's see what Quazmo has to say about it.
Last card. You do the honors, Ferb.
What?
Um, hey, Candace.
Everything OK?
Beat it, dweebs! I'm having a crisis!
Sounds like Candace is in a serious funk.
I wonder what we could do to snap her out of it.
Ooh, I know.
It's all right here in Tween Bleep magazine.
"Three sure-fire ways to lift your friend out of a serious funk.
Number one: Give her a complete makeover.
A completely different look will often do the trick."
"A completely different look." Come on, Ferb.
We need somebody who's good with makeup and fancy hairdos.
Um, OK, I'll just stay here
with my expert makeover patches and…
Hey, where's Perry?
Agent P., um, well…
Due to your… reprehensible behavior over the past few days,
which I can still barely believe is even possible
from an agent of your caliber,
who has been nothing but the best in his field,
I… Uh, actually, I don't know
what's particularly bad about this clip here, but…
We have no choice but…
Why? Why'd you do it?
Not yet, Carl. Wait till I'm done here.
You are officially discharged.
OK, now, Carl.
Why? Why'd you do it?
Cuff him, boys.
Red alert! Red alert!
Renegade agent on the run!
- Hello? - Stacy,
Jeremy has, like, totally lost interest in me.
- What makes you think so? - Quazmo magazine.
I'll be right there.
Well, that was almost impossibly fast.
Wait, you're not Stacy.
Hey, hey, hey!
What is going on?
Huh?
Um, wait a minute. Now, don't try anything funny.
So are you ready for some cheering up?
No biggie, Schlocko.
You gave it your best shot.
In hindsight, a clown may not have been the best choice to do a makeover.
You think?
So, what else does the magazine say?
"Step number two: Make her laugh.
Laughter is the best medicine."
Sure, make her laugh. Candace has a great sense of humor.
Remember that time she got her face caught in the sink?
OK, how about now we get you some ice cream?
I don't know, Stacy.
Good afternoon, ladies.
Or we can do this.
We have a table reserved for you close to the stage, Miss Flynn.
Oh, this is so cool.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, everybody, we having fun yet?
First up, our favorite math formula funny man,
Baljeet.
Thank you. Thanking you much.
So, little Jeet, I hear you went to New Delhi.
And did you try the chicken club?
Wow.
That's really what you're going with?
You know, just do the water-drinking bit.
OK.
The Pythagorean theorem…
The square of the hypotenuse of a right tria…
Let's hear it for the dummy.
And that puppet wasn't bad either.
Next up, my favorite vegetable-based comic,
Broccoli Top.
I'm gonna do some prop comedy for you,
and you're gonna like it.
OK, what do we got? Here's a… Here's a house
for, uh, I don't know, a mouse or something.
Here's a book. Hey, what am I…?
What am I supposed to do? Read?
Next. All right, let's see what else we got.
Um, and here's a, um…
Oh, an oyster shell.
Look, my… My mom went to a seafood restaurant.
I don't have any… I just… To me, it's just interesting.
I'll put that one back in the box.
What else we got? Oh, here we go.
Look, a nerd to go with the book.
I am in both acts!
Thank you. Buford's still in the building.
This isn't making me feel any better.
What? You wanna wrestle?
Coming up next, Ferb Fletcher!
So how about that airline food?
This is making me feel worse.
What's "airline food"?
Doesn't look like it's working.
So, what does it say for step number three?
It says, "Introduce her to someone new."
That should be easy.
There are lots of nice people in Danville that she's never met.
Ferb, I've got an idea.
Hey, fellas.
Look who decided to make an appearance.
You see, it occurred to me that what I should really be doing
is fighting fire with fire.
And by fire I mean Perry the Platypus.
And by fire I also mean Perry the Platypus.
It occurred to me while I was on fire.
I made a bunch of doppelgangers to discredit
and totally destroy you.
Behold!
The Platy-proliferator-inator.
Meet Terry the Platypus.
And say hello to Larry the Platypus.
And say aloha to Jerry the Platypus.
Yeah, he was the first one out of the batch,
but, you know, he was so cute I couldn't bear to…
Ow!
No, no, Jerry. You do not hit people.
You do not… Ow! No, use your words, Jerry.
Anyway, all you guys, go get him!
Yee-ha!
Aw.
Look at this, Stacy.
He won't even answer his cell phone.
Miss Flynn?
You and a guest are cordially invited to the mixer mingler.
Mixer mingler?
Say, aren't you that dummy from the nightclub?
She's talking to you.
It's obviously some lame attempt by my brothers to cheer me up.
- I'm not going. - Come on, it'll do you good.
Oh, would you look at this?
If I wasn't so depressed, my brothers would be so busted.
With the Mix'N Mingler, you can meet someone new every two seconds.
Now let's fire this baby up.
Fasten your seat belts.
I can't believe I'm doing
* Mix, mingle *
* Mix, mingle d.
- Glad to meet you. - Nice to see you.
My uncle owns a pizzeria.
- Hey, I smell muffins. - We love to bake 'em.
You got any leaves? I'd love to rake 'em.
Here's a maraca. We can shake 'em.
- I like your pants. - Here, you can take 'em.
D Meet and greet folks off the street *
* So make sure that Your underwear's clean *
* 'Cause you've only got a second *
* To make a good impression *
* In the Mix'N Mingle Machine *
- I raise rats. - My tooth fell out.
I love to dance, but I have the gout.
I like to shoot a bow and arrow.
I like to dance just like a pharaoh.
I'm very small, I need a booster.
I'm being followed by a rooster.
Yeah, I'm following him.
D Meet and greet folks off the street *
* So make sure That your underwear's clean *
* 'Cause you've only got a second *
* To make a good impression *
* In the Mix'N Mingle Machine *
I'm really dull, but you like fun.
I drew a banjo on my mom.
You'd never know I sport a rug.
- You forgot your socks. - I need a hug.
- I nursed a cow. - I'm into sprockets.
You'll never guess what's in my pockets.
- I'm Tom. - I'm Pete.
- I'm Stan. - I'm Lex.
Next.
D Meet and greet folks of the street *
* So make sure That your underwear's clean *
* 'Cause you've only got a second *
* To make a good impression *
* In the Mix'N Mingle Machine *
* 'Cause you've only got a second *
* To make a good impression *
* In the Mix'N Mingle Machine *
* Mix, mingle *
* Mix, mingle d.
Jerry?
Curse you, Perry the Platypus!
Sorry, folks.
Prepare for emergency ejection.
In hindsight, a simple ice cream cone might have been more effective.
See?
Congratulations, Agent P.
I knew it couldn't be you causing all that trouble.
You are officially reinstated.
You know, a little ice cream always makes me feel better.
Maybe you're right. I'll have two scoops of…
- Jeremy? Jeremy. - Hey, Candace.
What are you doing here?
I didn't want to break our date,
I just wanted to earn some extra money
so I could surprise you.
A surprise, for me?
Oh, Jeremy.
This was so worth the wait.
I'm just glad you're not one of those people who freaks out
just because someone cancels a date.
Ri-i-i-ight.
Good morning, Danville!
Excitement's in the air today as we await the announcement
of the Paisley Sideburn Brothers' first concert visit
to the Tri-State Area.
Phone lines are clogged and websites are crashing
as local music fans try to get first crack
at the hottest concert tickets of the decade!
Must… get… tickets.
Oh, still not on sale.
What the…? Hey!
Isn't it a bit early to start building another crazy contraption?
What, this?
We're still cleaning up from yesterday.
It's funny, the cleanup usually takes care of itself,
but we've been working all night on this one.
That's the last of it, guys. Thanks!
It was our biggest project ever. How could you miss it?
I was kind of busy.
Stacy, what's up?
My ticket is in Row R! Close enough to smell them!
- What did you get? - Ticket? How'd you get a ticket?
That's right, folks.
Unless you've had your head sticking out of a window,
you know those tickets just went on sale and sold out in 13 seconds flat.
- Sold out? - That's right, sold out.
But you still might be able to catch this special added benefit concert tonight
at the Fireside Girls Jamboree.
OK, I still got a chance.
What the heck?
"Fireside Girls only.
Please enter your PATCH number"?
Gotta guess the right numbers. Gotta guess the right numbers.
You have exceeded your log-in attempts?
No, you've exceeded your login attempts!
- Phineas! - Yes, Candace?
Your little friend Isabella. She's a Fireside Girl, right?
- What's her patch number? - I'm not sure,
but I can ask her when she gets back from her meeting
at the Fireside Girl lodge.
Lodge, huh? Come on, you're taking me down there now.
Hey, where's Perry?
Morning, Agent P.
We're not sure what Doofenshmirtz is up to,
but we're sending you to his lab.
And we're using this new transporter device
we've been working on.
It's not approved for testing on humans yet,
so you get to try it out first.
Good luck, Agent P. Carl, fire it up.
Yes, it's true that the Paisley Sideburn Brothers tickets
can only be ordered by an active-duty Fireside Girl.
- But if you just want to… - Tell you what?
I'm joining up. Set me up, sister!
OK. I hereby nominate Candace Flynn into membership
in the Loyal Sisterhood of Fireside Girls.
I second. Jinx.
All right, girls.
Come to order.
Now, just fill out this application,
read the training manual, sign the insurance waivers
and you can be sworn in at our meeting next week.
Next week? But that's too late!
I'm sorry, but the traditional procedure
comes straight from the Fireside Rules of Order.
As established by our founder, Eliza M. Fireside.
Well, that's a stupid rule.
You watch your mouth, little lady.
Who puts a picture frame on a window?
Is there anything Ferb and I can do to help?
Candace really wants to see that concert.
Candace, if… if you don't really want to be a Fireside Girl, then…
No, no, no, I do, I do. I've gotta get to that concert!
Candace, you're not listening to me.
- You don't… - Forget it.
I thought Fireside Girls were supposed to help people.
There is another way.
You don't mean…?
Yes, Isabella, please read Article Nine,
Section Charlie, Footnote Six.
"A troop leader may award full Fireside Girl status
to any girl who has earned 50 patches."
But Mrs. Fireside,
50 patches in one day?
Is that even possible?
Well, it depends on how badly she wants it.
Bring it on.
All right. All you need is a cadet uniform
and we can get started.
OK, where can I buy one?
Ouch.
Uh, Agent P,
we've teleported you three feet too far to the right.
D Perry *
* Do-bee, do-bee, do-ba d.
Perry the Platypus?
Do you even realize how much trouble it is to set a trap?
And for what? You just jump out of the way.
Ah, here we go.
We've recalibrated the teleporter.
I don't know what just happened, but I like it.
Now, with you safely inside the cage,
I can unveil my new device of doom.
Behold!
The Metal-destruct-inator!
Fifty patches in one day?
Where do I start?
By combining the shortest linear distance
with the highest population density,
we've plotted a course for you that's optimized
for the greatest number of patch-acquiring opportunities
in the shortest period of time.
Then, after you wrestle the crocodiles,
you'll corkscrew through the overpass
and free fall past the flaming high wire
to make your last delivery and receive the 50th patch.
- Got it? - Is all that really necessary?
We're going to need you to plant one of these Fireside Girl markers
at the site of each task
so the girls at the lodge can track your progress.
Now, is Candace Gertrude Flynn your full legal name?
Ugh. Yes.
Great, you just earned your honesty patch. Congratulations.
Really? That was easy. Come on, let me do another.
Ooh, I think you just earned your enthusiasm patch.
- Wow, two down. - Forty-eight to go.
Yippee! This is easy!
OK, 15 senior citizens need help crossing a street
that's 50 feet across.
Ooh, goody, I'm great at word problems.
No, there's 15 senior citizens
that need help crossing the street.
Good luck, Candace. Don't forget your helmet.
Senior-service patch: Check.
D Go, Candace go, go, Candace *
* Go, Candace go, go, Candace *
* Go, Candace go, go, Candace d.
Running-with-the-bulls patch: Check.
And running-with-the-bullies patch: Check.
D Go, Candace go, go, Candace *
* Go, Candace go, go, Candace d.
Discovering-something-that-doesn't-exist patch: Check.
D Go d.
Here you go, Candace.
Wrestling-an-alligator-in-a-sewer patch.
Alligator, you're going down.
Come on, Candace. You can do it.
Pin him, already.
We're running behind.
This is really putting us off schedule.
So let me explain my new evil scheme.
A while back, my doctor put me on a low-carb diet,
but I still can't lose those last 10 pounds.
Every time I get close to my goal, there's this knocking at the door.
Who is it?
Fireside Girls.
Would you like to buy some of our cupcakes?
Cupcakes, you say?
I really shouldn't. I should get back to my exercise.
I'm almost down to my goal.
Oh, we understand. Have a nice…
- All right, you talked me into it! - Thanks.
So, with my weakness for high-carb sweets,
there's really no other choice but to get rid of the bridge
to the Fireside cupcake factory.
And my Metal-destruct-inator
can turn any metal object into broccoli.
I know what you're thinking: Why broccoli?
But, well, you know, it's healthy.
It's like the opposite of what I'm trying to get…
It's… It's poetic justice.
It's… Well, it's not… Not justice, exactly…
Poetic evil. It's poetically evil.
Now, to make some last-minute adjustments…
Wrestling-an-alligator- in-a-sewer patch: Check.
So, what's next?
We're a bit behind.
You can finish out the rest while you work on your delivering-cupcakes patch.
Sounds easy enough.
Well, you have to deliver all these cupcakes.
- All these? - No problem.
We've built you a roller coaster delivery system.
All right, let's do this.
Remain seated, please.
Are you speaking Spanish…?
Here are your cupcakes.
Bug-collecting patch: Check.
I'm going to hurl.
Motion-sickness patch: Check.
The Paisley Sideburn Brothers. Let's hurry!
D Go, Candace *
* Go, Candace go, go, Candace *
* Go, Candace go, go, Candace d.
Ready to fire.
Ow!
Ow…! Yeow! Oh!
Quit it, you annoying little pest!
Last one.
Whoo-hoo!
Wow, that was fun.
Fun? Are you nuts?
And how did a roller coaster turn into broccoli?
And why broccoli? How does that make any sense?
Candace, focus. You've still got five minutes,
and it's 20 blocks away.
So, uh, good luck with that.
No, I can do this.
Now, that's persistence.
I see the building and I still got three minutes.
Got it, 38th floor.
Out of order?
OK, stairs. Step aerobics, don't fail me now.
Come back here!
Oh, what are you doing down there?
Uh-oh.
Curse you, Perry the…
Coming.
Fireside Girl.
Here's your order of cupcakes.
Aren't you a little old to be a Fireside Girl?
Yes, yes, I am.
Candace, we are all very impressed.
You earned more patches in one day
than anyone in the history of the Fireside Girls.
Forty-nine patches.
Which pretty much blows away the previous record of six patches
held by our own Addison Sweetwater.
Aw, nuts.
No, I know I did all 50.
And I made sure to plant the markers and everything.
Huh? Looks like I forgot one.
I'll just run back before it's 5:00.
I'm sorry, Candace.
You know, you may not have lit up the entire board,
but you did demonstrate remarkable persistence.
You mean I get a persistence patch? And that makes 50, right?
- There's no persistence patch, is there? - Nope, afraid not.
Hold on, Isabella.
Little Miss Sassy Mouth here gets a special patch
for breaking the all-time record.
Congratulations, Fireside Girl.
And here's your ticket
for the Paisley Sideburn Brothers concert.
Let's go!
Whoo! Yeah!
Phineas and Ferb?
- How did you guys get in? - Isabella invited us.
She's allowed to bring guests, you know.
That's what I kept trying to tell you, Candace,
but you were so insistent on becoming a Fireside Girl.
Maybe you can start working on your good-listener patch next.
Come on, Candace, you can do it. Pin him, already.
We're running behind.
This is really putting us off schedule.
Ooh, that's gonna leave a mark.
Yes. On the alligator.