Do you find it as curious as I do
that your menu has not changed since you opened in 1929?
I know. It's awesome, right?
It's our motto: "Slushes Dawgs will never get any better!"
Well, in that case I'll have…
Step aside, wiener!
One Windmill Dog.
Hold the bun.
Excellent choice.
You saved my life.
It was nothing.
What are you doing?
- I am your humble servant. - What?
It's the Bully Code.
I live my life by it.
"If a nerd should save a bully's life,
the bully is the nerd's slave for life."
"Should" is misspelled.
Duh! It was written by bullies.
That is very nice, but I do not want a slave.
- Too bad, you got one. - Goodbye!
I will empty my mind of all thought except for Baljeet.
There, that was easy.
You are following me.
At a respectable distance, Little Master.
So, what do you think?
What am I looking at?
Duh, it's a new red shirt.
It's from Jeremy.
He sent me a picture.
Aw, look at his cute little wiener hat.
Let's send him a picture of me.
Make sure you get my good side. How's the lighting?
You took it while I was talking.
- Oh. - Let me see.
I'd better erase that.
Picture sent.
Oh, no! I hit the wrong button.
Um, go into the menu and…
- Picture Sent. - No, not again.
Here, let me see.
Stacy, no, stop!
Picture sent.
I'm ruined.
Well, he's at work, so maybe he hasn't looked yet.
We've got to get to Jeremy's phone.
Come on. We're going to Slushee Dawg.
Peanut butter and jelly robot races.
Masking tape mummy gymnastics.
A jelly bean monetary system for emerging nations.
I don't know, I'm not feeling any of them.
Phineas and Ferb are up to something. I'd better tell Mom.
Candace, the photos. Eyes on the prize.
Hey, where's Perry?
Ah, Agent P.
Sorry to disturb you on Canada Day.
But the world's top evil scientists
have been photographed leaving Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated.
Something big is going on. Real big.
I need you to infiltrate his headquarters.
Ahem.
Sorry, we need you to infiltrate his headquarters.
Carl thinks I need to be more inclusive.
Find out what he's up to.
D Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated d.
Ah, Perry the Platypus.
Have you come to sign my cast?
Look, I saved you a spot right there.
It says, "Save for Perry."
Well… Well, it was a bigger spot before I wrote,
"Save for Perry."
But th-there's some room there. Grab that marker.
Ha-ha! You've heard of the Internet?
Well, this is a…
A… Well, it's… It's just a net.
But you're caught.
In exactly 30 minutes,
the Tootie McFruitti Ice Cream Man
will park his truck in front of my building.
I know because I was standing there yesterday
when he ran over my foot.
But today, I will wreak my horrible vengeance.
Behold.
The Re-tire-inator.
Because, you know, he ran over my foot with a tire
and I'm going to hit him with a giant tire. "Re-tire."
It's… It's not like retire like "stop working."
It's not that Re-tire-inator.
That's… That's actually over there.
I-I've got it ready.
It's filled with crossword puzzles and a big fat house cat
that will lay on my belly and warm me into my
senior years.
Any-who.
Where was I?
Ah, yes, evil laugh.
Little Master, I've washed all your dust jackets
and dusted all your cold knickknacks.
Those are not knickknacks. They are food.
And they should be in the refrigerator.
Oh, I've disappointed you, Little Master.
I will strive to do better.
Do not strive for anything.
And I am not your little master.
I'll just fluff up your pillow then.
Little Master?
Stay away from me!
D He follows me all over town *
* And every time I turn around *
* He's standing there At a respectful distance *
* He's arranging my underwear drawer *
* By dumping it out on the floor *
* When I'm brushing my teeth I don't need his assistance *
* No, no, no *
* Well, the story is old d d The story is old *
* It's a 70's sitcom cliché *
* He's says he's in my debt But I wish he'd forget *
* He'll do anything for me *
* Anything but go away *
Phineas! Ferb!
Uh, I saved Buford's life
and now because of the Bully Code,
he is my personal servant!
It is driving me crazy.
You have got to help me.
OK, OK.
We just have to get Buford to save your life,
- and you'll be even. - But how?
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.
Stacy, I see Jeremy's phone.
- Where? - There.
His message light is still blinking.
That means he hasn't retrieved his pictures yet.
OK, let's just…
What are you two doing here?
I mean, not that I don't like surprise visits from you,
but this room is for Slushee Dawg employees only.
We're Slushee Dawg employees.
- We are? - Yeah.
We did our training at the downtown branch to surprise you.
Surprise.
Hey, that's rad.
Candace, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing.
What are all these buttons for?
It's hot dogs. How hard can it be?
Here, fry something.
I'm gonna go et-gay the one-phay.
Ugh, you know I don't speak Spanish.
Oh, hey, Candace.
I see you've sent me some pictures.
I can't wait to check 'em out later when I take my break.
Yeah.
No.
I found out what all the buttons are for.
Oh, yes.
This thing is definitely the thing.
What is this thing?
This contraption, my friend,
is completely foolproof.
Let me explain.
You'll "accidentally" step on to that platform
which will launch you up
and over that flight of stairs, where you'll be kicked
and rocketed through a piece of sheetrock onto a trampoline.
Then conveyer belted up to a rotating system
that will drop you onto a spring,
bouncing you all the way to that red X,
where Buford will be standing, waiting to catch you,
saving your life.
Oh, I am thoroughly terrified,
yet tingling with excitement.
Candace? While I check the stockroom,
can you take the drive-through orders?
Ooh, my favorite.
Uh, welcome to Slushee Dawg. Can I take your order?
Candace? You work here?
Mom? You eat here?
Honey, where are you? Can you see me? Candace.
Uh…
This is weird. My mom's here.
I think your brothers are too. Across the street.
- What are they up to? - Candace?
Mom? Mom! Drive up to the window.
You gotta see what the boys are doing.
The boys are here too? Hon, I'm boxed in.
I've got a heck of a line in front of me.
Fill orders. Fill orders.
Hi, enjoy your meal. Come again.
Enjoy your meal.
Bon appétit.
OK, Baljeet.
You just stand on that platform
and, when Buford comes along,
we'll guide him to the right spot.
Although it has occurred to us
that you're giving up something really cool here.
What?
You're spending all this this energy
trying to stop Buford from being your faithful servant,
when the reality is,
having the biggest, toughest kid in town
as your personal bodyguard is a sign of supreme coolness.
Really?
Yeah, think about it.
Hmm, maybe you are right.
Hear that, Perry the Platypus?
Tootie McFruitti has arrived on time.
In a few seconds,
he'll be flattened by a speeding tire.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no.
Ow! No.
Oh, my good foot.
My good foot. Ow.
Ow. Ow, my bad foot.
Ow, my good foot again. Oh, no, my bad foot…
Oh, this is really a vicious cycle.
Hey, Candace. I'm taking my break now.
Uh-huh.
Stacy, we gotta get Mom up here so she can see what the boys are doing.
Keep throwing food out the window!
OK.
Hey, Jeremy, can I borrow your phone? Thanks.
Erase photos. Bust boys.
Little Master, Little Master.
I finished color-coding all of your overalls.
What do you want me to do next?
Well,
first, I would like you to iron all of my books,
then perhaps polish my retainer,
then you can start my college applications.
Massage my tootsies.
Sew my name onto my underwear, organize my book reports
by subject.
- Ooh, build me a… - Weenie.
All right, we're even.
What? Aw, man.
Ha, all photos erased.
Now onto the boys.
Hey, just so you know, Mom's on her way.
Oops.
Stacy, you're here too?
Yeah, Candace wants you to go out front to see what the boys are doing.
Well, just give me a chili dog and I'll be on my way.
Sheetrock.
Trampoline.
No.
I saved your life. Now you're my servant.
Ugh, all right… Ew.
But the code!
- You've got no honor! - Candace. Wow.
- You OK? - Um, yeah.
Here's your phone.
- There's a picture on it. - No, no!
Hey, that's a great photo of you.
Huh? Phew.
Now… about your job.
No worries. I quit.
Hey, you guys wanna hit Slushee Dawg before we go home?
- Ew. - Nah.
Oh, heavens no. Slushee dogs never get any better.
Candace? Boys?
I'll never understand public art.
Oh, cool, old records.
Lindana.
Now that's a blast from the past.
I wonder where she is now.
Probably singing at retirement homes.
Oh, give me that.
Hey, you look familiar.
Hey, Dad, what are these?
Oh, wow. Those are my old black and white detective movies.
Do you mind if we watch them?
Not at all, boys, the projector's inside.
Quick, come on, Ferb.
Oh, I see you like that little doll.
Well, let's see. That'll cost, uh, you 50 cents.
I'll give you a dollar.
She rolled into my office like a fog bank,
mysterious and cold.
My instincts told me this dame was nothing but trouble.
But trouble is my middle name.
Well, not really, my middle name is Trumble.
It sounds a lot like "trouble."
Wow, this detective stuff's great.
She had something she needed to say.
She spoke with the voice of an angel.
Phineas, where's the box that was in my room?
Well, Dad was taking boxes out to the yard sale.
Dad. Dad, wait.
- Dad, is that the box from my room? - Well, yes, uh…
I think I put my Mary McGuffin doll in there by mistake.
- Have you seen her? - I just sold her for a whole dollar.
Here you can have it.
How about $2?
D Doofenshmirtz's ex-wife's House in the hills somewhere d.
Dad? What are you doing here? This isn't your weekend.
Yes, yes, I know, but I-I have a surprise for you,
and I just couldn't wait.
A surprise? Really?
Yes, it's something you've always wanted,
something you've asked for time and time again.
In my hand, I hold the key to…
My new car!
No, your happiness.
Remember how you said if I got you
a little Marry McGuffin doll,
I'd be the world's greatest dad?
Yeah, when I was, like, seven.
At long last, I have found one!
I have been scouring the Internet and…
And garage sales
trying to find the discontinued doll.
Wow, I can't believe you remembered I wanted this.
Remembered?
- I never stopped looking. - Really?
You know, I may be an evil scientist,
but it doesn't take a degree purchased from the Internet
with your ex-wife's money
to know how special and important you are to me.
That's so sweet.
Well, I better run.
I bought a used "inator" today at a garage sale
and it's missing one small part.
Really? What does it do?
I don't know yet, it's missing a part.
But whatever it is, I'm sure it will be pure evil.
Well, at least you're not evil.
It was a dull, hot day in Danville,
she swept into the room like a cool, tropical depression.
I could tell by the way she walked she had something on her mind.
Either that or she was chafing from the heat.
What's going on here?
Her voice flowed soft and smooth like butter on toast.
And why are you talking like that?
She was observant. Maybe too observant.
Why is everything black and white in here?
We painted everything like an old detective movie.
What about you guys?
Detective makeup.
Detectives. Perfect!
I know what you're gonna do today.
Track down my little Mary McGuffin.
Piece of cake.
Ooh, chocolate. Thanks, Ferb.
We'll have your little Mary McGuffin
back here faster than you can say…
Hey, where's Perry?
Sir, Agent P. Is here.
I can see that, Carl.
Now get back in that corner
until I tell you you can get up.
Still 15 minutes left on the timer.
OK, sir.
Agent P, we just found out that Doofenshmirtz
is scouring the Tri-State Area
for some sort of an on-off device.
A switch, sir.
Right. We think it might be a switch.
But we don't know what it's for, so we need your help.
Good luck, Agent P.
The sun beat down on the city like a hammer.
A relentless, hot, beating hammer,
hammering down like a big metaphor
that was hot for some reason.
Stop with the narration and start finding my doll.
We decided to investigate the scene of the crime.
We talked to a Lawrence Fletcher.
A tall, good-looking average Joe who…
Sorry.
Is that my old black and white saxophone?
We thought the investigation could use a little ambiance.
Oh, delightful, how can I help?
We need you to tell us everything you can
about the man who bought the doll.
Well, let me see.
He had some kind of a German accent and…
Oh, he was also wearing a lab coat.
A lab coat, huh?
Ferb.
For an average Joe, he gave us an above-average clue.
Our next step was clear.
Who is he talking to?
Ah, don't get me started.
D You were a substitute dad *
* But the only one I had *
* I grew up hearing your evil scheming *
* Down the hall *
* But when I look at this thing *
* It makes me wanna sing *
* Maybe you're not so bad a dad After all *
* At my first ever swim meet *
* You stepped on the other team's feet *
* At my recital you clapped louder Than you should *
* But when you taught me how to drive *
* We actually made it home alive *
* I guess it's possible *
* That every part of you isn't good *
* I know at times I would cringe *
* Like when you wore all that fringe *
* And when you went out of your way *
* To catch that foul ball *
* But this piece of plastic *
* In my hand makes me finally understand *
* Maybe you're not so bad a dad *
* Not so bad a dad *
* After all d.
Vanessa, Charitable Charities is here.
Do you have your box ready?
Yeah, Mom, it's next to my bookshelf.
Whoops. Looks like something fell out.
- Here you go. - Ah, thanks, Char.
- I'll pick you up at eight. - See you then, Sam.
We figured the best place to find a man in a lab coat
was at the Lab Coat Emporium.
We interviewed several suspects.
Yes, I was at a garage sale, but as you can see
I don't have an accent.
Yeah, I have an accent,
but I have not been to a garage sale.
Whoa, hey, kid, slow down, I can't answer all these questions.
Well, that wasn't very productive, was it?
We decided to have a talk with the owner.
What do you know about a man in a lab coat
with a German accent? Frequents garage sales.
Oh, that guy.
I don't know anything about that guy.
All right, Ferb, lean on him.
All right! All right! I'll talk!
OK, there's this guy.
He comes in every week for a lab coat.
He has me put everything on his ex-wife's tab. See?
Her address is on the bill.
Hmm, I do see.
Well, thanks a lot for your help.
You can wrap it up, Ferb.
Can I take this makeup off now?
I can't believe how lucky I was at that garage sale.
Someone's personal collection of on-off switches.
Score!
Hmm, looks like this one doesn't fit.
There's more where that came from.
Nope. How about this? Come on.
Papa needs a brand-new inator. Ow. What the…?
Perry the Platypus, are you making your own keys now?
Uh, you like all the stuff I got at the garage sale, huh?
Wanna know what else I got?
This lobster trap. Ha-ha!
Yeah, ah.
Anyway, sorry I can't tell you my evil scheme
because I-I don't know what this does yet.
I'm still looking for an on-off switch.
Life was much simpler when I worked as a lawn gnome.
Mom!
Yes, dear?
Have you seen my little Mary McGuffin doll?
Could it be the one I just put in the box for Charitable Charities?
Oh, no. Dad gave that to me.
Well, I'm sorry. I didn't know.
But I think the truck's still out there.
Wait, Sam! I wanna retain a portion
of my mother's charitable donation!
Excuse me, ma'am.
We'd like to ask you a few questions.
Are you with the census?
No, ma'am, today we're detectives.
Aren't you a little young to be detectives?
If it's all the same to you, ma'am,
we'll ask the questions.
Oh, OK.
Come on in. Would you kids like some apple juice?
That would be nice, ma'am.
All right, lady, what do you know about the little Mary McGuffin doll?
You too?
Well, like I told my daughter, I just gave it to charity.
And?
Well… nothing. That's it.
The Charitable Charities truck just left.
They have a few locations around town,
so I'm not sure which one they're going to.
All right, Ferb. Pack it up.
We've got some charities to visit.
But I think we're gonna need to update our approach.
We checked out each of the Charitable Charities
in Danville using every cop persona we could think of.
But in every case it seemed we had the wrong location.
Aren't you a little young to know about all these old detective shows?
Yes, yes, we
are.
D Yeah *
* Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated d.
Oh, man, how many different kinds of on and off switches
can there be? I mean, look… Look at this.
An octagon?
One shaped like the Statue of Liberty.
That doesn't even make sense.
Oh, and here's one.
The exact same size and shape that I'm looking for.
Except it's upside down.
I mean, the words are actually printed upside down.
What kind of a dummkopf would invent
an upside down switch that…?
Hmm. I did it!
Time to find out what this bad boy can do.
On.
Off. On. Off.
On. Off. On.
Ugh, I'm hearing a clanking noise,
so I know it's doing something.
Oh, the inator and the cage, they're connected.
It just opens and closes the…
Well, I guess that's why I got the cage for free.
Hey, I was talking!
Take that. And that.
Hey, let's see if you can take a couple of hits,
from the '70s.
Ah, that takes me back.
Hey, where'd you go?
Ow! Wh…? Wh…?
Is that a shark's head?
Are you trying to make me cry?
Wait, wait, wait, hold on one second here.
Just a second. It occurs to me that all this machine does
is open and close a lobster cage.
So you know, it's not even evil, much less illegal.
Besides, I've run out of clever fighting puns,
so curse you, Perry the Platypus.
There she is,
my little Mary McGuffin doll!
I'm sorry, but this is my doll.
No, it ended up here by mistake, and it's my doll.
You might think it's your doll, but it's not.
I'm going to have to ask you to please let go.
You please let go.
You let go!
Give it back.
This is why they took that doll off the market.
Give it back.
Look.
She's perfect and I just love her.
Oh, forget it.
I guess I'm too old for dolls anyway.
Yeah, maybe I don't really have to have the one object
my dad spent years to find
in order to show me his affection.
No, actually, I do.
Give me that, kid.
So you just took it from the little girl,
and left her there crying?
Wow, that is evil.
Honey, I am so proud of you.
It felt good, didn't it?
Yeah, we can build on this.
D Not so bad a dad after all *
* You were a substitute dad *
* But the only one I had *
* I grew up hearing your evil scheming *
* Down the hall *
* But this piece of plastic in my hand *
* Makes me finally understand *
* Maybe you're not so bad a dad *
* Not so bad a dad *
* After all *