D There's a hundred And four days of summer vacation *
* And school comes along just to end it *
* So the annual problem For our generation *
* Is finding a good way to spend it *
* Like maybe *
* Building a rocket or fighting a mummy *
* Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower *
* Discovering something That doesn't exist d.
Hey!
D Or giving a monkey a shower *
* Surfing tidal waves *
* Creating nano-bots Or locating Frankenstein's brain d.
It's over here!
D Finding a Dodo bird *
* Painting a continent *
* Or driving our sister insane *
Phineas!
D As you can see There's a whole lot of stuff to do *
* Before school starts this fall d.
Come on, Perry!
D So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! *
* So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! d.
Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!
That's what going steady is, Stacy.
Jeremy and I aren't really engaged,
but we're totally engaged to be engaged to be engaged.
And by the way, that's on a need-to-know basis.
Why would Jeremy need to know?
Hey hon, I was just reading this article
about mothers and daughters and really listening to your teen.
And I realized, I've hardly seen you all summer.
So for the whole day today, it's you and me.
Whatever you want to do, I'm all yours. Anything at all.
Wait a minute. Anything?
Stacy, I'll call you back.
Hi, guys! Whatcha doin'?
Watching grass grow.
No, really. Whatcha doin'?
Did you know that the secret to successful grass growth
is establishing a regular fertilizer schedule?
We can make you a copy.
Um, I'm good.
Hello. Greetings from the thing with two heads.
Nothing?
I told you sight gags were cheap.
They're watching grass grow.
What, with like a super growth formula or something?
Oh, that must be it. That's it, right?
Well, no.
Grass is already so interesting, why bother?
Come on, Mom. Let's set up!
I can't wait to see your face when they get going!
Just watch.
You want me to bust them now?
Give it a few minutes.
- Hey, what's that? - Lint roller.
Platypus hair.
Hmm. That reminds me. Where's Perry?
Oh, there you are, Perry.
Um, can we up the action a bit here?
OK. Ferb?
If this keeps up, you're gettin' back in the shirt.
- How about now? - Hold on.
What are you guys up to?
Just enjoying the wonderful world of lint.
Come on. Who do you think you're fooling?
Nobody.
What the heck is wrong with these two?
It's like they were hit with a dull and boring ray!
OK, Agent P. I've got the surveillance tapes from earlier today.
D …egg-laying mammal of action *
I'll fast forward.
Perry the Platypus!
Behold, the Dull-and-Boring-inator!
Curse you, Perry the Platypus!
Wow, who knew?
Sure hope it didn't hit an innocent civilian.
Why aren't they doing anything?
I've got a golden opportunity here and I don't want to blow it.
Guys, what would you rather do?
Watch paint dry or lasso wild dolphins
and ride 'em across the high seas?
What color paint? Can it be beige?
This can't be happening!
Baljeet, you speak boring.
See if you can do anything.
Oh, I speak boring?
And getting your whittling patch is so exciting!
Cat fight!
So nice weather we are having.
You know, I was just saying to Ferb,
that the atmospheric pressure seems a bit low today,
which would suggest cloudy skies,
yet it's completely sunny!
Although it would be interesting to take an exact barometric reading.
Did you know that while meteorologists use millibars
to chart atmospheric pressure,
a barometer has a second scale or ring which reads in hectopascals.
Of course, it doesn't matter what measure you choose
if your barometer doesn't have its sensory range factory set…
Oh, no! Baljeet's in trouble!
I've got to get him out of there.
You could get your readings from the internet,
Baljeet, focus! Come back!
I have never gone so far into deep dull before!
The sun is on the meridian…
Save Buford!
The temperature is a perfect, balmy 75 degrees.
Whoa! Thanks, Isabella.
And so, all in all, I would say it's great weather we're having.
Houston, we have a problem.
D Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! d.
- Perry the Platypus? - I mean…
I wasn't crying. And what are you doing here anyway?
What? Destroying my Dull-and-Boring-inator once wasn't enough for you?
What are you…
You're fixing it?
You are fixing it!
Oh, you've had a change of heart! How wonderful!
Go ahead. Rebuild it, Perry the Platypus.
Of course, you're doing it all wrong.
If you put it together that way,
it would be the reverse of a Dull-and-Boring-Inator.
It would be a dynamic-inator,
which would make people more interesting.
Oh, I get it.
We shoot me with the Dynamic-Inator and I become more interesting,
and everyone else becomes duller by comparison.
Oh, that's brilliant.
I'm so glad I thought of it.
Let's build it! Come on, let's go!
OK, this is your pile of buildy stuff.
This is what you liked to do before you became boring.
Now, take this.
Well? Let's get this going.
Do your stuff! You! Here.
Funny fact about springs…
Phineas! Come on.
What is wrong with you guys?
- Candace. - Mom.
How about if I go get some lunch and bring it back for us?
No, no, no, no. Stay. Stay.
I'm really enjoying this quality time with you.
Me, too, sweetie.
Are they doing anything yet?
No, but we did find this blueprint.
Hey, I know what we're gonna do today.
We're gonna watch golf on television!
What? OK, we gotta jump start these guys.
We make a great team, don't we?
I think we make a great team. Do you think we make a great team?
Yeah, you do. I can tell.
D With these blueprints We can make a mighty tower *
* With these blueprints We can mould a chocolate ball *
* With these blueprints We can forge enormous yo-yo's *
* With these prints We can do anything at all *
* We've got blueprints Glorious blueprints *
* They give us endless potentialities *
* We could build an android porcupine *
* Bionic hearts for valentines *
* Or giant dogs with artificial fleas *
* 'Cause we've got blueprints *
* Oh, yes, blueprints *
* They make the things we dream reality *
* We can build jet powered water wings *
* That catapult with mattress springs *
* And practically anything you see *
* We've got one print, two prints *
* Nothing we can't do *
* We've got three prints, four prints *
* Every day is more prints *
* We've got five prints, six prints *
* Nothing we can't fix *
* Big prints, small prints *
* Make anything at all *
* Nothing we can't do As long as they're blue *
* So get some hammers and nails, And buckets and pails *
* So grab a two by four 'cause we got Blueprints galore *
* We've got a lot of work to do *
* With these prints that are blue d.
It seemed bigger when we were singing.
Do the two little lines mean feet or inches?
Hi kids! Did you build a little castle?
That's adorable.
Candace, should I do it now?
Boys, you are so busted!
Feel the burn.
I've always liked pointing.
Me too, sweetie.
Well, I'm going inside to make some snacks.
Any requests?
Oh, plain oatmeal! Wait! No! Mom! Uh!
The one time it actually could have worked!
But no, they had to be boring,
and we had to build this stupid, worthless, ridiculous…
I told you I knew what I was doing.
Hurry, there's no time to lose!
Hey, Ferb, did you ever notice that the sidewalk
is filled with little sparkly bits?
Tune it out, Big Guy!
Stupid new age parenting articles!
Get me down from here!
I can't control this thing!
She's in some sort of holding pattern.
Good! We will just wait here
and eventually the fuel will run out.
Oh. And then she will plummet to… Yeah.
Maybe we should get a ladder.
Yes! The dynamic-inator is finished!
And I couldn't have done it without you, new partner.
Now, if you'd be kind enough to point it at my face and blast me,
I'll be the most fascinating and charming person
in the Tri-State Area and then maybe we'll go to a movie or something.
What do you mean "no?" Hand me the remote.
Oh, Perry the Platypus, look at us.
We're fighting over the remote like an old married couple.
It's not cute. And I have a remote, too.
I'm going to get my own talk show!
Hey, what are you… You've got it pointed at the suburbs!
My face is over here!
I want you to shoot me! Stop that!
Oh, you're just so difficult sometimes.
Phineas, Candace's fuel is running out.
You have to think of a way to save her.
We love thinking.
In fact, we were just thinking
about how much we loved the flavor of water
and how come there's no water flavored ice cream.
- Actually that would… - Baljeet!
Fine! Point it wherever you want, baby! I'll be there!
Say hello to the new dynamic…
And that, in a nutshell, is the history of Checkers.
But it's far from the first board game. In fact…
Phineas? Candace is going to fall and only you can save her.
OK we have some wood, some springs, and some tubing.
But none of those things will break her fall.
Come on, guys! Do what you do better than anybody else!
Get creative!
Creative.
Come on, guys! You can do it!
Phineas! Help me.
I still think we should get a ladder.
No. That would be boring.
Wait a minute.
I know what we should have done today!
Ferb, grab some wood. Isabella, hammer and nails.
Buford, lift something heavy!
Baljeet, lift something light.
The day is still young!
Hang on, Candace. We're coming for you!
Hang onto what?
You never meant to work with me,
did you, Perry the heartbreaker?
Yes, go. Go back to your agency
with their un-cool acronyms.
Just remember we once had something special.
It's running out! And my foot is slipping!
Huh?
D Summer *
* I love summer d.
It's good to be back.
Yes. Yes, it is.
Nice work, gang!
No! Not nice work!
You humiliate me all day long by being boring,
then you think you can make up for that
by giving me a super fun ride on the world's greatest crazy slide?
OK, you get a pass for saving my life.
Maybe there's still time for mom and me to get our toes done.
Mom! Mom!
- Oh, there you are, Perry! - Mom!
D What do you do when hunger attacks *
* Fill your stomach up to the max *
* So, not talking tough Come, don't ever shrink from *
* How would you like some snacks d.
Wow, it's like your mom was hit by a dynamic ray or something.
Really?
Good morning, Danville! It's a beautiful day.
So let's get out there and be happy.
D Sunshine and bubble gum *
* Happiness here comes the sun *
* Sunshine, happiness and gum *
* Come shine and bubble sun *
* Happiness, we're having fun *
* Happiness, sunshine and gum *
* Go ahead and move with feeling *
* You can even dance *
* If you feel it go ahead and scream *
* If you're worried about the sound You can always scream into a pillow d.
Good morning, sir!
One egg or two?
None! I don't like them the way you cook them!
You always leave in the shells. Who does that?
I like mine crunchy.
Just keep quiet over there. I've got a call from Rodney.
What do you want, Rodney?
I thought I'd share with you the progress on my new Super-Zapenizor.
My son Orville helped me. He's a true evil genius.
I'm so glad I have a son who can assist me in my work
and help me become a better evil scientist,
instead of a daughter who can…
Hmm, I don't know. Go shopping, I guess.
Is that what it's like, Heinz?
Oh, that's ridiculous, Rodney.
What you'd have me believe is that daughters are useless
and if only I'd had a son instead
of a daughter, I'd be much more successful,
and my life would be so much better.
Wait. Vanessa, no, wait, wait!
How long have you been standing there? Vanessa!
Vanessa, honey!
Oh, I can't believe that she would think that I…
I mean, sure it's be nice to have a son in addition.
You know, someone to have a nice game of catch with, but…
Sir, you could have a game of catch with me.
I've always thought of you as my fa…
Norm, you're in my light!
Ther.
Hi, Phineas. What you doing?
Well, you know those little spring suction cup things
that you push down and you never know
when they're gonna pop up in the air?
Yeah, what are those things called anyway?
I don't know, but Ferb and I built a big one.
Hey, look! It's one of those things.
Yes, a big one!
Everybody in!
So when's it gonna pop?
That's the fun part.
You never know when it's gonna take off.
Hey, where's…
I don't know what happened, Carl,
but out cafeteria officially stinks.
Sir, I don't think you're being fair…
The old Mexican food station is gone, Carl. Vanished.
They still have the chili.
Oh, right because chili
is a perfect substitute for a nice, crunchy taco.
It's practically the same thing. Agent P, you're here.
Um, our inter web monitor
tells us that Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been conferencing
with the other members of the evil organization, Love Muffin.
It's obvious they're planning something big,
but right now we have our hands full
with this whole cafeteria debacle.
So, get out there and put a stop to it.
Good luck, Agent P!
Carl, we're going off the lot for lunch.
- Is that allowed, sir? - No.
That was great, Phineas.
Yes, let us do that again!
Ferb, let's reset it!
There they go again with their machine, mocking me!
"Oh, hi, I'm Phineas."
"Ferb and I are building something really bust-worthy today."
"Yeah? Like what? Like a submarine that'll go into my esophagus."
Candace! What are you doing?
Nothing.
Did you bring the hypnotism stuff?
If you mean the pocket watch, then yes.
Why do you want to do this, Candace?
I have to meet Jeremy in the park today.
But I can't go unless I get this busting out of my head.
But hypnotism? It's just so 1843 of you.
1843?
You know, 1843, when James Braid
published The Rationale of Somnambulism.
In which he invented the term, "hypnotism"
named after the Greek god Hypnos.
How do you even know that?
It's written on your poster.
Apparently, he also invented the comb-over.
Freaky.
Why would I have bought that poster?
D Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! d.
Oh, this is terrible. Look at her. Look what I've done.
She's been giving me the cold shoulder ever since she overheard
something out of context.
Oh, this is like one of those sitcoms
where somebody says something that's misconstrued
and the snoopy next door neighbor
gets the wrong package delivered after his in-laws come to visit
and somebody has two dates on the same night
and they have to paint a white line down the middle of the room.
But this isn't a sitcom, Perry the Platypus.
This is real life.
And I'm… And I'm the father.
And I have to treat her with the respect that she deserves
in a caring, fatherly fashion.
I'll blast her with one of my inators.
Wait here.
Do you like it, Perry the Platypus?
I built it for the 170th anniversary of the Alamo,
but I forgot to use it.
It makes people forget about what they're thinking
right at that moment.
I call it the Forget-about-it-inator.
I love that name.
Forget about it. Forget about it.
Forget about it!
Forget about it. Forget about it.
Yeah. How about a hand shake?
Ah! Forget about it.
If only I were a real boy.
You are now entering a deep sleep.
Deep sleep.
What? Sweet. It's working!
Candace, when you hear the trigger word…
Um, "holy guacamole,"
you will no longer have the desire to bust Phineas and Ferb.
No more busting my brothers.
And when you hear, "leaping lizards,"
it will make you return to normal.
Return to normal.
Now, when I snap my fingers,
you will awake with no recolection of being hynotized.
Do you understand, Candace?
- No. - No?
What's not to understand?
A brief recap might be helpful.
Candace, "holy guacomole," no busting,
"leaping lizards," back to normal.
I don't know, Stacy, I don't think it worked.
I still want Phineas and Ferb to go down, down…
Holy Guacomole.
What was I talking about?
I think you're ready for your date with Jeremy.
Oh! Who's Jeremy?
Uh-oh! I think something went wrong.
I'm just kidding.
D He wants to be a real boy d d He wants to be a real boy *
* He wants to be a real boy d d Real boy, yeah *
* I'm a lonely orphan robot *
* Just a scrap metal tower *
* A mis-fired piston *
* Run on squirrel power *
* His galvanized insides *
* Can feel no joy *
* He wants to be a real boy d d I want to be a real boy *
* Not a titanium toy d Don't give my battery flattery *
* What I want is more gray mattery *
* A brain, some veins, and some arteries *
* I gotta squirrel on a treadmill Where my heart should be *
* If I was real d You could feel
* I could really emote *
* Instead of shorting out whenever he sits On the remote *
* I want a dad d Father!
D Someone I can call pops *
* Someone to take me out for malteds At the soda shop *
* Someone to take me on a fishing trip *
* Or teach me how to ride a bike *
* Who'll pat me on the head and ask me "How you doing, tyke?" *
* How you doing, tyke? *
* Oh, I'm fine, all things considered Wanna be a real boy *
* But I don't wanna sound embittered d.
But thanks for asking.
Seriously!
You know what I'd like to do Candace?
I'd like to rent one of those little boats.
Sure, good idea.
Well, great. Let's go before you…
Before I rush off to bust Phineas and Ferb?
Well…
Jeremy, I no longer have the desire to bust my brothers.
We can take our time.
Whoa! Look at that!
What do you know.
Some sort of reptile hopping around.
Hi, little hopping reptile.
Hi, little jumping chameleon.
Hi, little springing salamander.
Leaping lizards!
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Funny I didn't think of that one.
Candace? Candace?
Sorry, Jeremy, I've got to bust my brothers.
Oh, that's my girl.
Looks like it's just you and me, you little gallivanting gecko.
OK, Vanessa, I just need to take a picture of you
because I love you and I don't need a son.
Did you say something, Dad?
What? You're wearing headphones?
So you haven't heard a thing I've said all day?
Why do you think I wear the headphones?
So, you're not mad at me for saying
I'd rather have a son, than a daughter like you?
What? Oh, nothing. Nothing.
Just… Here, just put these back on.
There you go.
Whatever.
What about that? She didn't hear me. I'm still a great dad,
and a sitcom cliche has been resolved.
I guess I didn't need this inator after all.
Say, here's a thought.
How about if I blast you instead?
Sir, I just want you to know
I've always thought of you as my father…
Look, Norm, this is gonna have to wait.
I have to blast Perry the Platypus and I'll be right with you.
Now, who are you?
I am your son.
Yeah. Oh, really? And what's that?
Don't worry, Dad. I'll get rid of it.
Funny, I don't seem to remember much.
You like playing ball with me, your son.
- Really? I like that? - Yes.
What else do I like?
Crunchy eggs for breakfast.
I do?
Man, what kind of weirdo am I?
- Phineas and Ferb. - Hey, Candace.
I'm telling mom right now. Mom! Mom! Mom!
Mom, you have to come out to the backyard.
OK, give me a second.
Candace, do you want to go for a ride?
No, I'm good.
All right, Candace, what was it you wanted…
Crimeny! What is that?
- Hi, Mom. - You see it. You see it!
Phineas and Ferb are busted for sure.
Where is it going?
Oh, it'll come back down in just a little bit.
Just in time for me to get my bust on.
So, what does this thing do? Oh, look, buttons. Pushy-pushy-pushy!
Here it comes now. That's great.
We can bust Phineas and Ferb and be done in time for dinner.
So, what did you want to show me, Candace?
Um, that.
Good heavens, what is that?
Like I said, Phineas and Ferb built it.
Where's it going?
Oh, it'll be back. And then it's busting time for sure, right, Mom?
All right, Candace, so what was it you wanted to show me?
This is fun. Pushy, pushy. Push some buttons.
- Sir, sir, sir. - I'm pushing the buttons.
All right, Candace, so what was it you wanted to show me?
Holy guacomole! What is that?
Wait! Why did I leave Jeremy in the park?
Oh, there you are, Perry.
Sir, it's overheating and it could
explode.
Hey, wait a minute.
You're not my son. You're that walking junk pile, Norm.
- But, Dad. - And I am not your father.
I'm fairly sure about that.
But…
Here, Norm, wear these. It helps.
Thanks, sis.
No, problem, bro.
Hey, buddy.
Are you busy?
No, not really.
You know, Norm, it occurs to me
that though I've never had a son,
there is someone I can always count on to be there.
Someone I've begun to think of as family.
- Yes? - And that someone is Perry the Platypus.
See you around, junk pile.
Apology accepted, Dad.
D If I was real d You could feel
* I could really emote *
* Instead of shorting out whenever he sits On the remote *
* I want a dad d Father!
D Someone I can call pops *
* Someone to take me out for malted's At the soda shop *
* Someone to take me on a fishing trip *
* Or teach me how to ride a bike *
* Who'll pat me on the head and ask me "How you doing, tyke?" *
* How you doing, tyke? *
* Oh, I'm fine, all things considered Wanna be a real boy *
* But I don't wanna sound embittered d.
But thanks for asking.
Seriously.