D There's a hundred And four days of summer vacation *
* And school comes along just to end it *
* So the annual problem For our generation *
* Is finding a good way to spend it *
* Like maybe *
* Building a rocket or fighting a mummy *
* Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower *
* Discovering something That doesn't exist d.
Hey!
D Or giving a monkey a shower *
* Surfing tidal waves *
* Creating nano-bots Or locating Frankenstein's brain d.
It's over here!
D Finding a Dodo bird *
* Painting a continent *
* Or driving our sister insane *
Phineas!
D As you can see There's a whole lot of stuff to do *
* Before school starts this fall d.
Come on, Perry!
D So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! *
* So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! d.
Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!
Oh! Here he comes!
Oh, Jeremy. How can you even make walking to a bus stop cute?
Yeah. I'm a lucky, lucky gal.
Oh, no! He dropped something! Jeremy! Jeremy!
Jeremy! Wait! You dropped… Wait!
Jeremy! You dropped something outside my house and it kind of looks, uh,
artsy.
Sounds like the gift I made you!
Gift? Well, you didn't have to make…
Uh-oh. We're passing the antenna farm. I'm losing you.
My fillings are heating up.
Jeremy? Jeremy? Oh…
What a beautiful tiara… Neck… Broach?
Bracelet!
Oh, it's absolutely beautiful!
Whoops! No, no! No! No.
Almost got it.
Whoo-hoo! The Danville Clean Water Flush-Off!
One million gallons, right to the ocean!
Ugh. You gotta be kidding me.
Jeremy will be heartbroken when he finds out I lost my gift!
Phineas and Ferb!
Hey, what are you guys doin'?
We built a Mind Machine to enter Baljeet's subconscious
in order to cure his fear of contractions.
You are amputating two perfectly good words and stitching them together.
They are the Frankenstein monsters of grammar.
We've already cured Irving's fear of the color lavender.
It can't hurt me anymore.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't care about any of that.
I lost the gift Jeremy made for me
and you guys have to make an exact duplicate before he comes over.
We'd love to. What'd it look like?
Well it kind of had this bolty screw thing going on
and this wrapped wire, like…
Oh, I know what it looks like but I don't know how to describe it.
No problem. We can use the Mind Machine to enter your subconscious
and retrieve your memory of what the gift looked like.
You don't mind if we fix Candace's problem first, do you, Baljeet?
No, I don't… Ah! Chills. Chills.
Hey! Where's…
Where is Perry?
D Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! *
* Eating cereal looks like this! *
Perry the Platypus! You're early!
And I'm in my underwear! Oh, this is so embarrassing!
And it's the pair of underwear you never want anyone to see you in, too.
You know the ones. They're faded and frayed.
The elastic is so worn out you have to hold them up
while you're walking around the house.
And then you roll the waistband, which makes your pants look all lumpy.
And yet, when you take them off,
you find yourself mysteriously putting them in the hamper
rather than the garbage.
Why do you do that? Where are you going, Perry the Platypus?
When you came in, despite appearances,
I was trying to come up with the perfect evil plan
to thwart today's.
Tri-State Area Summit and Weenie Roast and you just gave me a great idea!
What is a man most afraid of?
It's being in public and suddenly realizing
he's in his underwear!
So, I shall construct an Underwear-inator!
One blast at the Summit and everyone will be so paralyzed
with fear and embarrassment.
I can just waltz in and take over!
Thank you, Perry the Platypus! Thank you very much!
All right, Candace. You're all wired up. We're ready to go in.
Wait a minute. Why is that dweeb going into my subconscious?
Because this dweeb spent two weeks in psychology camp last summer.
So how did that make you feel?
All right. But don't forget about doctor-patient confidentiality.
OK, Irving, we're in your hands now.
Close your eyes and count backwards from four.
Three, two, one…
Where are we?
We're inside your subconscious.
OK, everyone take off your shoes. I don't want you tracking mud in here.
Metaphorically speaking.
Mind Master calling Deep Divers.
How you guys doing?
We're doing fine, Irving.
Remember, you've got 45 minutes to retrieve the memory
before the boyfriend arrives.
Copy that, Mind Master. We need to get to the Forest of Memory.
- So, where are we now? - Offhand?
I'd say the Jeremy Mountains.
Hmm, significant.
- Uh, what was that? - Baljeet?
Shh. Do not move a muscle.
- What is it? - It is your id.
- My what? - Your id.
The embodiment of your deepest, most primal urges.
So, fun, right?
Wrong. It is very primitive and aggressive.
We do not want to meet it in here.
Obviously, you see Phineas and Ferb as some sort of prey.
Run!
Almost ready, Perry the Platypus.
Just a few more adjustments.
I'm putting an "extra ratty" setting on the Underwear-inator.
So embarrassing!
Calling Phineas and Ferb. Come in, Phineas and Ferb.
What's your twenty?
We copy you, Irving.
We're just emerging from the Peaks and Valleys of Fickleness.
I cannot believe there is a whole valley in there
devoted to your love-hate relationship with ambivalence.
I have mixed feelings about it.
Wow. The Falls of Anxiety.
Is my neck too long? Is it OK that I wear the same dress every day?
What's that?
It is all of Candace's anxieties.
There are so many of them.
She has a rich internal life.
- Yeah, she's really messed up. - Buford?
What's he doin'?
He just showed up and jacked in!
You can't come in here!
It's a free country.
No! It's not. It's my head!
And you're getting crumbs all over… all over…
What's wrong with her?
The anxieties are getting to her!
Hurry, everyone! Through the falls!
The Palms of Sweatiness!
The Harpies of Hyperventilation!
Rubber ducks?
Do not ask me! It is your subconscious!
Yeah, I'll catch youse later. I'm keepin' my hoagie dry.
- Hey, Buford. - Hey, Isabella.
- You just get here? - Yup.
Let me show you around. This place is a riot.
Do you smell something burning?
What are you doing? Give me that!
Got it! What is this?
A tiny magnifying glass?
Oh, you think you're so fancy with your high tech spy equipment!
What are you going to do now, huh, Perry the Platypus, huh?
D We're going deep into your mind *
* Never know what we will find *
* Repression, aggression, Your embarrassing obsession *
* Would make Freud annoyed But don't be paranoid *
* We're going deep into your mind *
* Were you traumatized by squirrels? *
* Or a little girl with curls? *
* Do you fear the number seven? *
* Does a zebra call you Kevin? *
* We're going deep into your mind *
* Your psyche will unwind *
* Was there a monster Beneath your bed *
* A fear of moldy bread *
* Or just a giant floating baby head? *
* Going deep into your mind d.
Here we are, Candace. The Forest of Memory.
How will we find Jeremy's gift?
Well, we shouldn't have to walk too far since it's a recent memory.
What's the last thing you remember?
Hmm, the last thing I remember is saying, "How will we find Jeremy's gift?"
Well, we shouldn't have to walk too far since it's a recent memory.
What's the last thing you remember?
Oh, I forgot it already.
No problem. This should be deep enough.
Everybody just feel around.
Maybe we can stimulate Candace's memory.
That makes my head all buzzy.
Wait a minute. Wait, I'm remembering. Yes! Yes! I see it!
Over there. Through the trees! That's it!
- That's what? - Jeremy?
- Wait, are you real? - Yeah.
I stopped by your house to give you your present
- and Irving told me to jack right in… - My present?
How could you? I lost it.
But I found the memory. It's right over there!
That? That's not your present. That's my drain unclogger.
I don't know why I carry that around with me.
So I didn't lose your…
It is the id! Run!
And if you follow me now,
you'll see Candace's reoccurring nightmares.
Come on, people. Try and stay with the group.
Hey, where are they goin'?
It's ironic. I built my Underwear-inator
while actually in my underwear.
Ha!
Clubby Momo!
You all signed the releases, right?
Phineas and Ferb!
Ow!
Ha! You look…
Ugh! Moth holes!
Who wants lobster bisque?
Get it while it's hot!
Irving! Get us out of here now!
Roger. Over.
Lavender! Had to be lavender!
Hello? Irving? Hello?
Curse you, Perry the Platypus.
You know, those really work for you.
I cannot believe I turned down a trip to the community pool for this!
She's growing! What do we do?
One of us has to wake up and extract the others.
I am trying to wake up but I can't! I feel a shock.
That's it! Let's all shock Baljeet awake with contractions!
- Isn't! - Won't!
It's! Don't!
- Hasn't! - Ain't!
That is both a contraction and grammatically incorrect!
Lavender. Had to be lavender!
The wires. Must pull them out with…
No muscles.
I don't think I can run anymore!
Don't give up. Baljeet will save us.
I'm getting tired, too.
That's it. I'm dead meat!
Gretchen is out! Peace!
I'm really complicated and weird.
- That was great! - Let's do it again.
- Not me. - I wish I'd had my camera.
Wait until they hear about this at psychology camp!
Good-bye, everybody.
Wow. I guess that was a lot of trouble to go through for a drain unclogger.
Yeah, by the way, here's your real gift!
Jeremy! It's beautiful! I really, really love it! Thank you!
Wait, hold on! Where's Buford?
I don't care what Freud said about your selfish need for satisfaction.
You're all right with me.
So, Candace, you made a teddy bear out of baklava.
Yeah. Bears like honey. Baklava is made with honey.
Oh, so it's like a statement?
You think it's weird, don't you?
No, not weird. It's just…
Oh, wait. I've got a customer, Candace. I'll call you later, OK?
He thinks it's weird.
Why is it that when Phineas and Ferb have an idea
everyone's like, "Oh, wow, you guys are really clever,"
and when I come up with something everyone goes, "What?"
"Did you say something, Candace?"
Oh, you know what I'm talking about, baklava bear. Ew!
Hey, Candace. Did you just see a chicken wearing a baseball hat run by here?
- No! Why? - It was his turn to bat…
Oh! Are you still using these ants?
Those aren't my ants. Do whatever you want with them.
Look, Ferb. Wouldn't it be great to be part of an ant society?
They're so efficient and productive. They're like tiny us-es.
Hey, speaking of us, where's Perry?
Sorry, Agent P.
Your monitor is on the fritz today thanks to someone who isn't aware
that croquet is an outdoor game.
Again, sir, there was nothing on the box to indicate…
Anyway, let's get this show on the road, shall we?
Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been collecting
some extremely unusual items the last few days.
Some of the odd purchases include…
Carl, where are my inserts?
Oh, sorry, sir. Do that last bit again.
Some of the odd purchases include
biomolecular components typically used to make organic computers,
a giant pilgrim hat, and most curious of all, a huge pair of food booties
used on the end of turkey legs for decoration.
You know, Carl, I really like working live.
It reminds me of my days in the theater group back at the Academy.
- Francis, you stink! - Get off the stage!
Anyhow, Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to something sinister.
Find out what it is and report back. Monogram out.
Carl! Fade out!
You can go, Agent P.
OK, Carl, turn on the lights.
Carl?
- Stop it, Carl. - That wasn't me.
Ladies and gentlemen, gape in awe at the sheer spectacle
that is the Antius Maximus!
Huh. More like the anti-climax-imus. Yeah?
Yes, I got it.
Oh, that was just a scale model to get the investors interested.
This is the real thing.
Whoa!
How did we miss that?
And right over there is Ferb's Resize-anizer.
What does that do?
Well, you find an anthill, and then you add a scoop of it to the pot,
then the ant Resize-anizer will rain enlarging fluid onto the dirt pile
and cause the ants to move towards the large synthostatic light,
making them bigger.
Then they continue to the Antius Maximus,
the perfect place for the larger ants to live.
In no time, we should have an ant farm filled with giant ants. Or Gi-Ants.
Nice one.
Oh, clever wordsmithing, good sir.
- Thank you. - Oh, fine.
And I just get an eye-roll for anti-climax-imus?
Oh, what the heck is that thing?
Oh, I'm gonna go tell Mom.
In order to move amongst the ants without upsetting them,
we need to douse ourselves in ant pheromones.
It's sort of like ant cologne
which will make them think we're one of them.
But not too much. We don't want them getting too friendly.
Stop it, Buford.
It smells like my grandma's house.
Why does your grandmother's house smell like ant pheromones?
Have you met my grandma?
Let's go see what the ants think of our new cologne.
You know what I like about our friends?
We say things like, "We're gonna douse you in ant pheromones."
And they're just like, "OK, whatever." They're so cool.
Ha!
Perry the Platypus? There's my guy.
Why the Thanksgiving-themed trap, you may ask?
You know how you get all tired and lethargic
after you eat Thanksgiving dinner?
Well, it's not because you're really full and, you know, slightly out of shape
but because of all the tryptophan in the turkey.
Now, imagine if the turkey were, say, the size of a car or a building.
There would be no resisting the tryptophaniacal level
of nature's little sleeping potion.
That is why I created the Turkey-inator!
Wait. Can you see it from that little door or do I have to move the hat?
You're good? You're good.
With this, I will fly over the city
turning things into turkey all willy-nilly.
Then no one will be able to resist
all of that perfectly cooked turkey goodness,
and once the tryptophan kicks in,
I'll take over the tri-state area with ease.
Won't that be trypto-fun?
You know, tryptophan… Trypto… You know, like…
I'm wasting all this wordsmithing on a platypus.
Candace, you know Wednesday is my famous statues life drawing class.
This had better be important.
Mom, Phineas and Ferb are building a huge glass and sand thing in the yard.
It looks like a giant ant farm but I don't know what it does.
- Candace, please. - Hold still, Linda.
Look, Candace, this is just gonna have to wait until I can take a break.
But, Mom, they're abusing their liberty. Don't you find that ironic?
Not enough to act upon right now, dear.
OK, fine.
So long, Perry the Platypus.
Next time you see me,
I will be the indisputable ruler of the tri-state area.
And when I say indisputable, I mean totally disputable!
Wait, no, that doesn't work. I mean putable, I mean putable! No…
Ah. The moment's gone.
Phineas and Ferb! Let me in! Ew!
What the heck is wrong with this doorbell?
Hello? Ow! I got it in my eyes!
Hello!
Ugh, it tastes like Buford's grandmother's house.
That is it!
When I lay my hands on them, a-ha! Phineas and Ferb!
You are so…
Uh… Uh… Buggy?
Yeah, you know what? This is the wrong giant ant farm.
I'm just gonna head out, OK.
But bang up job on the whole digging thing, really!
OK? Oh, hello. Take it easy.
I guess I could stay for a little.
No need to crowd, OK.
D Livin' in an ant society *
* With ants much bigger Than you and me *
* Diggin' in tunnels It's a crazy scene *
* With soldiers, drones And one big queen d.
Cool!
D Ah, you can spend Your lives in here, it's great *
* We can lift ten times Our body weight d.
Hey, I wonder where they're going.
Probably to see their queen.
Good idea! Let's go see the queen!
Wow, Candace? You're queen?
You know, you really should fix that doorbell.
I must have pressed it like ten times
and all it did was squirt sticky stuff on me.
The pheromones! Oh, that's why the ants think you're their queen.
So, what's it like to have millions of ants at your beck and call?
Oh, it's great. Finally, somebody appreciates my ideas.
Only they keep bringing me crumbs and grasshopper legs.
I could really go for a salad.
And you'd think they'd have a fancy queen dress or something.
Hey, where are they going?
Hey, get back here!
What's the point of being queen if you're all alone?
Say, these bread crumbs aren't bad.
Time to start my turkey takeover!
Commence random firing!
This is great! With Perry the Platypus out of the way, I can finish my sentences
without getting punched in…
Candace, you've gotta see what the ants are up to!
I think you really made an impression on them.
So, what did they do?
Well, you asked for a salad and a queen dress,
so first, they evolved from a hunter-gatherer society
to an agrarian society.
Look! They mastered farming in less than ten minutes.
Then they put it all together to make you this salad.
There are still grasshopper legs in it, but other than that, it is not bad.
Then, three minutes ago, they had an industrial revolution.
Check it out, they're weaving the fabrics needed
to make a dress for you.
Wow, Candace, you're probably the most progressive ant queen ever.
This is so cool! I should call Jeremy and tell him.
Oh, there's no service in here. Nice.
You there, make there be cell service for your queen.
Do you think that's a good idea?
Oh, like you've never tampered with the delicately balanced
yet awesome power of nature.
Perry the Platypus, take that!
And that!
Oh, man, that's disgusting.
Still, it can't be the first time
someone's got their head stuck in a turkey.
So, how are my subjects doing?
Shouldn't be long now.
It looks like they've entered the information age.
They are really into online gaming now.
Hey! Who cast a sleep spell on me and stole all my gold?
Now that everything is automated they have more time to devote to fun!
Fun? What about my cell service?
Get back to work, you lazy ants. Your queen commands it.
Huh. Would you look at that?
Apparently, they've advanced beyond the need for a monarchy.
Motion carried.
Fine! If I can't be queen, then it's busting time!
Hey, guys, why is it so quiet in here?
The ants have left.
They said something about needing to find themselves.
Oh, cool!
Greetings, Phineas.
We have achieved total enlightenment
and have transcended the need for material things like ant farms.
Wow, good for you!
Our new colony will now traverse the galaxy
in search of the fabled picnic planet.
Oh, good! Turkey! We can take that with us as an in-flight snack.
Good-bye, Phineas and Ferb.
Good-bye!
Have a good time evolving past the need for physical existence!
As you'll see, the ants are the size of humans. Yeah?
Oh, yes, I see. Greetings, human-sized ants!
Hi, Mom!
No! There were actually ants the size of people!
See? I was their queen!
Yeah, Mom. Candace inadvertently caused the ants to evolve.
Exactly! And I was their queen!
Wow, Candace. Just like on Mars.
I was… I…
Oh, forget it. I'm gonna go call Jeremy.
Do you think the ants will return some day?
Yes, probably while we're having a picnic.
Perry the Platypus, be a dear and help a brother out.
I can't seem to…
Oh! Oh, thanks!
No! What are you doing?
Curse you, Perry the Platypus!
I feel like a giblet.
D Livin' in an ant society *
* With ants much bigger Than you and me *
* Diggin' in tunnels It's a crazy scene *
* With soldiers, drones And one big queen d.
Cool!
D Ah, you can spend Your lives in here, it's great *
* We can lift ten times Our body weight *