* Like maybe *
* Building a rocket or fighting a mummy *
* Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower *
* Discovering something That doesn't exist d.
Hey!
D Or giving a monkey a shower *
* Surfing tidal waves *
* Creating nano-bots Or locating Frankenstein's brain d.
It's over here!
D Finding a Dodo bird *
* Painting a continent *
* Or driving our sister insane *
Phineas!
D As you can see There's a whole lot of stuff to do *
* Before school starts this fall d.
Come on, Perry!
D So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! *
* So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! d.
Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!
Oh, strange phenomenon,
tell me why you keep making my brother's inventions disappear.
Give me a sign.
Ugh!
Why do you toy with me?
My fourth grade science book?
"The scientific method has proven to be mankind's most useful tool
for understanding the truth behind formerly strange phenomena."
You boys ready for pie tonight?
Doonkelberry pie! Our favorite!
No, not doonkelberry pie, everybody's out of doonkelberries.
You can't find them anywhere lately.
Really? Let me check.
I'll be "berry" interested to see what you find.
Good one, mom.
We should cast our net a little wider than Danville.
Bingo.
It looks like there are some in Drusselstein.
Drusselstein is a rustic Eastern European country
whose primary export is doonkelberries.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.
Hey, where's Perry?
Good morning, Agent P, and welcome to the field test
of our new talking letter.
As you can see, it looks like a normal letter,
except for this strange gibberish text that no one can read,
and the obvious fact that it's got a little talking photo of…
Actually, this is a silly idea.
I mean, we had to mail this last Tuesday.
Plus, it's really just dumb luck that nobody else picked up the mail first.
Well, whatever.
Open the box, Agent P.
That's right, Rumpkinhossen.
We're sending you to Drusselstein.
Doofenshmirtz will arrive there this morning
and we must know what he's up to.
Now, this letter will self destruct.
Ow!
Oh, and the, uh, box as well.
Five, four, three…
You know, I really don't know what we were thinking with…
Hey, Phineas. What you doing?
We're gonna build a trebuchet to shoot ourselves to Europe.
Cool! Gravity or tension spring?
Well, gravity probab…
Wait, when did you learn trebuchet mechanics?
Medieval Siege Engine patch. It was my first one.
I'm looking for a book
on scientific investigation and disappearing objects. Got anything?
Let's see. Um, Disappearing Objects, A Scientific Investigation.
- Sound good? - Shuh!
Oh, it's checked out to a Heinz Doofenshmirtz.
- Yes? - Vanessa?
Doofenshmirtz, it's my last name. Heinz is my dad.
Doofenshmirtz? What's that, like, Chinese?
It's Drusselstinian.
Right. From Drusselstinia!
I'm headed over to my dad's house
- if you want to look for your book. - Cool!
D Drusselstein Department Of Motor Vehicles and Goat Registration d.
And this is it right here. Thanks for the ride. Keep the change.
What change? You were hitchhiking!
It's an expression!
Perry the Platypus!
Wow, Rumpkinhossen.
Five seconds and you've already gone native.
Well, don't worry. I'm not doing anything evil today.
I'm just here to renew my driver's license.
Say, as long as you're here, why don't you stay and keep me company?
Please? It's so boring.
You know, traditionally, these things don't have much range.
Yeah, it's a bit of a cheat to use a warp generator
to bend the fabric of space,
but I'm sure they would've done it in olden times
if the technology were available.
If the trebuchet can't go to Drusselstein, bring Drusselstein to the trebuchet!
- Baljeet? - Bending!
Whee!
Hmm, rustic!
Here it is! This may be the only place in the world
to get doonkelberries right now.
That's because I have my own doonkelberry field.
So when I need more, I pick more.
But what about exports?
Well, the canning facilities shut down after the shaft stopped working.
The shaft?
All of Drusselstein runs off of central shaft.
Or at least, it used to.
Drusselstein's a long, narrow land,
the only country in the world where a central shaft makes any sense,
except for maybe Chile.
At the end of the shaft was an exercise wheel
powered by thousands of rabbits.
Rabbits turned the wheel, the wheel turned the shaft,
and the shaft turned everything else.
A miracle of 16th century science, today!
It powered our washing machines, our blenders,
our schwingel presses, and of course, it ran all
the country's doonkelberry processing plants.
The rabbits couldn't keep up.
So we decided to upgrade from rabbits to a more powerful source of energy:
Goats.
So we set up a differential on each side of the shaft,
that the goats might walk upon the ground.
But the Leftsiders set their goats walking clockwise,
and the Rightsiders set their goats walking counter-clockwise,
so the shaft couldn't turn.
But the solution is so obvious.
Just have one side turn their goats around.
Yes, but we are a proud people.
In our culture, turning your goats around is the mark of a coward.
Neither side will back down.
So it is, such has it ever been in Drusselstein,
Land of the Shaft!
I am done now.
Uh-oh! Time for the five o' clock demonstrations.
- Counter-clockwise forever! - Turn around!
- We cannot be swayed! - You're turning the wrong way!
Rightsiders go home!
Filthy clockwisers!
Yo mama!
Isabella, how would you like a Conflict Resolution patch?
Fill out this form and take it to line 26.
Next! Yes?
I want to renew my driver's license, please.
"Hmm"? What do you mean, "Hmm"?
I'm afraid you will have to be
recertified!
Recertified? No! But that means…
- Yes! - No!
- You will have to take… - Don't say it!
The driving test!
But there must beome mistake, I…
Your instructor will meet you out back.
Next!
Hold my hand, Perry the Platypus.
I'm scared.
D Looking for books At my dad's place d.
Why are you singing that?
It's just something we do.
Hey, swanky!
It's all, like, sciency in here!
Yeah, my dad's kind of an amateur inventor.
I think I saw some books over here.
Oh, here we go.
Uh, we can just put his other stuff anywhere.
What's the name of the book again?
Uh, Disappearing Objects, A Scientific Investigation.
Disappearing objects? You mean, like socks?
Like roller coasters, building to the moon, stampeding cows,
stuff like that just disappears.
Does that happen often?
Oh, you would not believe.
So let's recap.
You Leftsiders won't turn your goats around?
I believe we have made our position clear.
And you Rightsiders won't turn your goats around either.
This point is non-negotiable.
There is only one point!
We will neer stop!
Now, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
I think we can solve this, but we're gonna need a certain tool.
Wow, this place is just made for scientific inquiry.
Hey, cool telescope!
I bet I can see my house from here.
Oh, cool! It's pointed right at it!
What the heck is that?
Oh, my gosh, it's another stupid invention.
Thank you, Mr. Scientific Instrument.
Thanks for coming along, Perry the Platypus.
You know, having you around just makes me feel, you know, safer.
In this circumstance. Back home it's exactly the opposite.
Heinz Doofenshmirtz,
do you attest that you take this driving test
of your own free will?
- Yes. - You may go!
Wait, wait, uh, I'm not ready.
Let, let me psych myself up.
Just a few breathing exercises, then I'll go, okay, right?
We have a choker!
D Turn, yield, halt *
* If you fail you'll know who's at fault *
* Of a vehicular assault *
* As you're doing the Drusselstein Driving test waltz *
* Gas, shift, brake *
* Drinking coffee's a big mistake *
* Try not plunge into the lake *
* When you're doing that Drusselstein Driving test waltz d.
Are you okay?
D Use two hands when you steer her *
* Then check in the mirror *
* What you see may be nearer *
* Don't lay on the horn! *
* See the traffic cop bossing *
* Pedestrians crossing *
* Never drive when you're flossing *
* You'll wish you weren't born! *
* Belt yourself *
* Only way to protect your health *
* Leave your friends All your hard earned wealth *
* If you croak when you're boldly embarking *
* And parallel parking *
* And acing the written *
* Look out for that kitten! *
* No time for high-fiving *
* You're barely surviving *
* The dangerous Drusselstein driving Test waltz! d.
I think I did okay!
Ladies and gentlemen, after careful consideration,
we have come up with a solution that we believe will satisfy everyone.
We will not be satisfied!
No compromise!
Ferb?
I did not think it was possible!
The shaft is turning in both directions!
This science is far beyond us!
The Viking is right!
By separating the shaft, you have united our country!
Your goats may walk in any direction you choose, father!
Yours too, my son!
It's like a fluganoff miracle!
You have brought peace to our land.
Surely there's something we can do for you?
Yes. Yes, there is.
Fresh doonkelberries! Thanks!
OK, Baljeet!
I guess it's lucky that they had a trebuchet in Drusselstein, huh?
Henceforth, we shall call this day "Phineas and Ferb Day"!
You mean, "Ferb and Phineas Day"!
By descending order of height! Everybody knows that!
Hello, mom! I bet you can't guess why I'm calling.
I don't know. Did the boys build a giant amusement park for leprechauns?
I don't know if that's what it is,
but if you simply look in the backyard, you'll see it!
All right, Candace, I'm looking.
And surprise, there's nothing there.
Huh? What do you mean, "Nothing"?
But, but, but…
Thanks, Vanessa.
What about the scientific method?
It's flawed.
Thanks for everything, Perry the Platypus.
And don't worry, I, I'll pay for the dry-cleaning on your Rumpkinhossen.
All right, see you back home. I'm taking the trebuchet.
More pie, anyone?
No, thanks, mom! Delicious, but I'm stuffed!
Me, too!
I think it's gonna rain. It's really overcast out there.
Nah, that's just Drusselstein.
Baljeet?
Oh, sorry!
I should always travel like this! This is the…
Curse you, conceptual elasticity of space-time!
So I said, "You're not getting me up
into the mountains on a day like this.
I'm staying right here with my beautiful air-conditioning."
I'm just gonna chillax right through this one.
Thanks for letting us host the French Fireside Girls
at your cabin this afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Flynn.
This'll be a great place for them
to get their North American Tracking patches!
What did I do again?
The French Fireside Girls, or Les Filles au Coin du Feu,
as they are known in their country of origin,
are going for their North American Tracking patches,
and you're helping us help them.
I put a sticky note on your shirt.
Aw, and you wrote, "Love."
I knew it was there.
Why do you play senile?
I love your notes.
They're here! The French Fireside girls!
Or Les Filles au Coin du Feu,
as they are known in their country of origin.
Bonjour, Les Filles au Coin du Feu. Je m'appelle Isabelle.
Wow! Wow! Stop! Stoppy!
That's all the French I've got.
D'accord. I am Brigitte. And these are Josette et Colette.
Bonjour!
- And this is… - Phineas et Ferb!
We read your column in Les Filles au Coin du Feu Gazette.
I'm syndicated.
Everyone, please! Stand back!
Keep your fingers and berets away from the bars!
Les Filles au Coin du Feu, to earn your North American Tracking patch,
you'll have to capture the most dangerous of creatures:
The vicious American
- grizzly bear! - He has not been fed!
My friend has graciously agreed to be the bear for today's hunt.
Excuse me!
What is up?
Get in here! I know that girl out there!
- You do? - Yeah.
We met in Paris.
It was a year ago and I was taking in some of the local color,
when I saw her. Brigitte.
She was a beautiful French girl and I was an ugly American,
which, of course, holds a certain mystique.
With her, I completely forgot myself.
I read poetry, I wept at beauty, I clipped my toe nails.
For Brigitte, I even learned to speak the language of love.
French-talk.
Oh! That is why you are fluent in French.
It was easy, actually.
A lot of the root words are the same in Latin.
But I can't let anyone know I have a heart.
It'll ruin my tough guy image.
And believe me, the irony is not lost on me in this suit.
Oh, man, don't you see?
If I get all gooshy now, I'll be totally exposed!
There he goes!
Let the tracking begin!
Wait a minute! You speak Latin?
Go get 'em, girls!
You'll never catch me
running around in a fuzzy bear suit.
In this heat.
It is a tad sweltering. A little fun with water might be in order.
Way ahead of ya, kiddo.
You're on the right track, grandpa.
Mind if we kick it up a notch?
I was hoping you might.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.
Hey, where's Perry?
Good morning, Agent P. I'd tell you what Doofenshmirtz is up to,
but the screen isn't big enough
for that little box thingy over my shoulder.
But I'm sure you'll figure it out when you get there.
Good luck, Agent P!
D Oh, give me a home, Where the buffalo… d.
Moth! Moth!
Of all the clearings in all the woods in all the world,
she had to walk into mine.
Tell me she was deported!
Buford, what are you doing?
The forest is crawling with patch-crazed Europeans
and I'm a bear in the woods!
What do you think I'm doing?
Oh! Oh! I know!
Am I on speaker phone?
Get me off speaker phone!
This way! I see his spoor!
They're coming!
How's he doing, Baljeet?
There he is! I want his fuzzy pelt on my wall!
Well…
You wanna help us make a super-sprinkler?
Yes! Yes, I do.
D Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! d.
Aw, Perry the Platypus, are you feeling tired?
Take a rest! I figured you'd be exhausted
after breaking down all those doors.
I even put a mint on your pillow and everything,
though I guess it's probably just stuck to the back of your head now.
Sorry about that.
So, let's talk about pretzels.
You see, Perry the Platypus, when I was younger
I did a summer internship at Master Drachenvlad's Pretzel Palace.
He was the biggest pretzel wizard in Drusselstein.
His disproportionately delicate hands could turn any dough into a masterpiece!
But even after months, my pretzels still lacked polish.
No matter how hard I tried, my work was never good enough.
I… I don't know why it was such a stickler. I mean, it's a knot.
What difference does it make as long as you can't untie it?
It's a knot!
Anyway, I was declared unworthy!
So now I despise pretzels! And any pretzel-related entertainment!
And now Danville is having its own pretzel festival!
Can you even imagine how angry that makes me?
Can you imagine? No?
Angry enough to create the De-Twist-inator!
We'll see how festive they feel after I turn
all those stupid pretzels into boring straight tubes of baked dough,
like, like breadsticks, which I also have a problem with.
But I'm dealing with one neurosis at a time.
And then, when I've straightened all their precious pretzels,
I will waltz in and take over the tri-state area!
Yeah, I know, it, it doesn't quite follow.
I mean, I even made a Venn diagram, see?
The pretzels are here, in this circle,
and we're talking about taking over the tri-state area here and…
Yeah, no intersection. Nothing. Hmm.
But I know it'll work it out. You'll see.
You see here, these tracks indicate that he went in that direction.
Great! Come on, let's check it out.
But the weight was on the balls of his feet instead of the heels.
He retraced his steps to here!
Voila! The footprints continue here.
This way! The hunt is on!
She's good!
D I got no time for conversation *
* 'Cause I'm runnin' from love *
* Don't need no complication *
* 'Cause I'm runnin' from love *
* Wish I had better transportation *
* But I'm runnin' from love *
* Yes, I'm runnin', runnin' from love *
* In a bear suit *
* Runnin', runnin', runnin' *
* Runnin' from love *
* Runnin', runnin', runnin' *
* Runnin' from love *
* How 'bout a giraffe suit? *
* Afraid I'll hit my head *
* How 'bout a reindeer suit? *
* I can't pull that sled *
* How 'bout a lemming suit? *
* Afraid where I'd be led *
* I guess I should feel lucky *
* 'Cause if you find Yourself runnin' from love *
* In an animal theme costume *
* You can do a whole lot worse *
* Than a bear suit *
* Runnin', runnin', runnin' *
* Runnin' from love *
* Runnin', runnin', runnin' *
* Runnin' from love *
* Runnin', runnin', runnin' *
* Runnin' from love *
* In a bear suit d.
Fireside Girls, goggles on!
He has gone completely animal!
He smells us. Pursue!
And when the chickens hatch, that's when the marshmallows kick in!
Oh, boy, this one really taxed my brain.
I, I'm telling you, I am pooped.
Anyway, forget the details.
The circles are touching, so the plan can't miss.
Now, I've got a pretzel problem and I'm about to straighten it out!
You see, 'cause they're, they're pretzels,
they're twisted, they're not straight. It's…
You like that one, Perry the Platypus? I've been saving it up.
Whee.
Hey, Buford! What do you think of our super-sprinkler?
We used low turbulence mechanics and specific gravity
to make the water hold its shape while in motion.
You had me at super-sprinkler.
Get 'em, girls!
You cannot escape!
You think I am afraid of a little water, bear? Think again!
What the…
Oh, man!
She is really serious about getting this patch.
Oui!
Where have you been?
Dude, it is not my problem.
Ferb, did you order a bear?
Oh, man, that would've been so funny without the snorkel.
Move it or lose it!
It just stops? How is that possible?
There is nowhere left to run, bear!
No! No, don't look at me!
Buford!
See? Another reason to hate twisting.
Curse you, Perry the Platypus.
Buford!
No! I'm not me! I'm somebody else!
Buford, I know it is you. But why would you hide from me?
Oh, Brigitte, I've spent years building up my tough-guy street cred.
I could bounce back from the fuzzy bear suit,
but being in love with a beautiful, sweet, exotic girl like yourself,
if people found out about that, my image would be fini.
Oh, Buford, you silly boy.
I am a well-bred, refined European.
I would never let the Fireside Girls know
that I was vaguely interested in a brute such as you.
In fact, au revoir.
You okay, buddy?
She said she was vaguely interested in me.
D I got no time for conversation *
* 'Cause I'm runnin' from love *
* Don't need no complication *
* 'Cause I'm runnin' from love *
* Wish I had better transportation *
* But I'm runnin' from love *
* Yes, I'm runnin', runnin' from love *
* In a bear suit *
* Runnin', runnin', runnin' *
* Runnin' from love *
* Runnin', runnin', runnin' *
* Runnin' from love *
* Runnin', runnin' runnin' *
* Runnin' from love *
* Runnin', runnin', runnin' *
* Runnin' from love *
* In a bear suit *