D There's a hundred And four days of summer vacation *
* And school comes along just to end it *
* So the annual problem For our generation *
* Is finding a good way to spend it *
* Like maybe *
* Building a rocket or fighting a mummy *
* Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower *
* Discovering something That doesn't exist d.
Hey!
D Or giving a monkey a shower *
* Surfing tidal waves *
* Creating nano-bots Or locating Frankenstein's brain d.
It's over here!
D Finding a Dodo bird *
* Painting a continent *
* Or driving our sister insane *
Phineas!
D As you can see There's a whole lot of stuff to do *
* Before school starts this fall d.
Come on, Perry!
D So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! *
* So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! d.
Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!
Okay, Stace, I'm all set up!
Nothing could get in between me and some good old fashioned vitamin D!
What about busting your brothers?
Don't worry. I can do both!
I've got a perfect view of them from where I'm sitting.
Oh, yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
I'm all up in their grill and they don't have a clue!
Hi, Candace.
Hey, don't you know it's rude
to sneak up on someone who is trying to spy on you?
- Sorry. - What are you guys doing?
Well, you know how we do something new every day?
No!
Oh, well, we try to build some big project or do something…
I'm aware of the concept, Phineas. I was just being sarcastic.
Really? Hey, that was pretty good.
Wow, I totally fell for it. Ferb, I totally fell for it…
- Anyway. - Oh, right, anyway,
Ferb and I decided that today,
we're gonna let you pick what we're gonna do today!
Let me get this straight.
You are going to allow me to pick what you are going to build today.
That's about the size of it, Candace.
Size! That's it! It's got to be huge.
No, wait, you built a skyscraper to the moon
and who knows where that went.
No, if this summer has taught me anything,
it's not the size of the project that's important.
What matters is proximity. Mom's proximity.
Think, Candace, think.
This could be the most important decision
of your entire summer.
Something that will make Mom come and see what you are building.
Hmm, what would that be?
A Mom Attractor!
Cool! You mean, like, a big tractor mother with all its little baby tractors?
No, I mean, a Mom Attractor.
A big contraption that will attract Mom so that she'll come home
and see what you guys built.
Well, you heard the lady. Ferb, she knows what we're gonna do today.
- How can I help? - Well, we're gonna need a list
of things that Mom likes.
Oh, hey, Dad! You know Mom pretty well.
Oh, yes. I'd like to think so, yes.
I'm trying to think of things that Mom likes.
Oh, so many things, really.
Music, hobbies, you kids. Oh!
You know, what she really likes, is my famous rhubarb creme brulee.
I used to make it for her all the time when we were dating.
Oh, it made her so happy.
You know, I should get out my toque and blowtorch and make one for her today.
What a good idea, Candace. Thank you.
Candace?
Well, all right then.
Ah, there you are, Agent P.
Well, let's get down to brass tacks
or whatever it is tacks are made of these days.
It seems that Dr. Doofenshmirtz
has been buying up all the polyethylene in town.
It's a substance apparently used in disposable baby diapers.
It could be an evil scheme or it could just be neutral.
Get out there and absorb the situation.
Now, since your hovercraft is in the shop,
Carl has had to arrange last minute alternative transportation for you.
Yes, hello, Agent P.
So, yeah, go ahead and put on that fruit hat.
Whoo!
D Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! *
* Gonna mallet, mallet, mallet in the morning *
* Mallet, mallet, mallet all day d.
What is this? Some sort of Latin gorilla cha-cha gram?
Hola.
Ay, caramba! Perry the cha-cha gram?
I mean, Platy… Obviously you're Perry the Platypus,
and I was… Use the door!
Yeah, that was, uh, hmm, not…
Not, uh, good. Oh, well.
There, that's better!
I much prefer you trussed up in my happy Jump-inator!
Which goes with the theme of my new scheme,
the Baby-Cry-inator!
I know what you're saying.
"But, Heinz, you've already done a baby themed evil plot."
But this time I've really nailed it. Let me explain.
You remember my goody two-shoes brother, Roger, the Mayor?
It is a well known fact that no politician can pass up kissing a baby
for fear of alienating the electorate.
This can be risky, though, because if the baby cries,
you can alienate the electorate even worse
than if you refuse to kiss the baby in the first place.
This has never really been a problem for Roger, though,
everybody loves Roger!
Babies, voters, dogs, cats,
guys with shovels, giant squid, you name it.
But this little baby, and by "little baby" I mean enormous baby,
is gonna change all of that!
Today, when my brother is campaigning,
every time he kisses a baby, I will uncork the Baby-Cry-inator,
releasing such a wail
that the voters will think he is universally hated by babies,
and therefore, untrustworthy.
I know it sounds complicated but I've thought this one through.
Babies cry, everyone's unhappy, and I somehow take over.
It's foolproof!
Hey, Candace, check it out.
Oh, my mom! That is so cool!
Yep. The Attractor will extract the essence of things that Mom loves,
and use it to attract Mom!
Things like Mom's Love Handel albums,
an assortment of her favorite chocolate and scented candles,
and of course, Mom's lucky Viking helmet.
Why does she have one of those?
Women are a mystery.
That's got to be one of the coolest things you've ever built.
Yes, yes, it is.
Let's try it out.
Hey, uh, I don't hear anything!
That's 'cause you're not Mom.
Hi, Mom. What?
You feel a sudden and inexplicable urge to come home?
It's working! It's functioning properly.
Bye, ladies. I have a sudden and inexplicable urge to go home.
I am awesome!
D Awesome, awesome, awesome *
* Awesome, awesome, awesome Awesome, awesome, awesome *
- d Awesome, awesome, awesome d - Candace is awesome.
D Awesome, awesome, awesome Awesome… *
* Gonna mallet, mallet, mallet in the morning
* Mallet, mallet, mallet all day *
I don't know when I learned this mallet song, but it's really cat…
Hey! Ow!
Hey, I wouldn't, I wouldn't do that if I were…
Come on, come on! Yes! Mom's coming!
I just wanna remember this moment. Relish it. Revel in it.
Bask in the sunlight of pure, busting bliss!
What is all that racket?
Huh? Wait! Mom!
Phineas and Ferb, why is it not working?
Oh, it's working, Candace.
It's just that nothing attracts moms more
than the sound of a baby crying.
Must soothe baby!
Well, apparently, the Mom Attractor has become self aware. Cool.
Wait, Mom!
D Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, Mom, mom *
* Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, Mom, mom
* We're leaving our work *
* We're closing our laptops and responding to the cry *
* We gotta make sure the baby's fed *
* And more importantly they're dry *
* We're professional nose wipers *
* And know every brand of diaper *
* But you have to pay the piper *
* Don't you ever call us gripers *
* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah *
* We are the moms and we can't resist the calling *
* We are the moms when we hear a baby bawling *
* We are the moms and everything you've heard is all quite true *
* 'Cause moms will always come through *
* Mom's will always come through *
* Ooh *
* Yeah *
* We are the moms we'll get you into your pajamas *
* We are the moms and we can do without the drama *
* We are the moms and we'll always do what mommas do *
* 'Cause moms will always come through *
* 'Cause moms will always come through d.
Hey, wait!
There's too many mommies! Do something!
Must soothe baby.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz.
What happened to that giant crying baby?
Roger Doofenshmirtz came and it just stopped.
Babies love him!
Four more years!
Wow, this place has never looked neater than this!
Oh, no! I just had the place cleaned.
Curse you, Perry the Platypus
and your destructive, fruit-loving simian friend
who doesn't know how to use the door!
Curse him, too!
Candace! Let go!
Mom! Phineas and Ferb made a Mom Attractor and it's in the back yard! See?
Yes! Yes there is a Mom Attractor in the back yard.
Hello, darling. Look, I made my famous rhubarb creme brulee! Mmm, eh?
Don't mind if I do.
But they asked me to pick and I did
and it worked and now it's gone! Where did it go?
Where do they always go?
- Mama. - There, there.
This is too cool! Whose idea was this?
Oh, it was Candace's, actually.
You, my dear, are pretty awesome!
D Awesome, awesome, awesome d.
I've got a feeling that today is the day.
Even as we speak, my brothers are planning something dangerous,
disguised as playing cards!
- Well, I'm out. - Me too.
Losers.
- Sorry, I'm late. - That's okay. Deal him in, Ferb.
Who came up with cards anyway?
They were invented by ancient Babylonian traders and merchants.
Actually the Babylonians had been defunct as a distinct culture for millennium
prior to the introduction of playing cards in India.
That is right!
Three months of summer vacation and I am losing my edge!
Has it only been three months?
'Cause I've been adding up all of the things we built this summer,
and we're way over 150!
Oh! My brain is atrophied! It needs exercise!
Gang, I know what we're gonna do today!
- And Perry? - Who knows.
And here we have a marvelous 16th century wardrobe.
We had one just like this when I was a schoolboy.
And inside it was another land filled with magical woodland creatures.
Oh! You English and your fantasy worlds.
Uh, can I show you some end tables?
Hello, Agent P. Sorry about the trees.
They were left over from Christmas
and we didn't have anywhere else to store them.
Oh, and, uh, also the air conditioning system's on the fritz
so pardon all the frost.
All over the Tri-State Area, keys are disappearing.
Businesses can't open. The freeways have ground to a halt.
Citizens are locked out of their homes.
And I, for one, would really like to get into the executive washroom.
It's got a waterfall!
You know, you wave your hand and the water just sort of…
Well, it's… It's really cool.
Stop Doofenshmirtz! Quickly!
Look at this! This is my brain during the school year,
and this is my brain now.
They look just the same.
I know! But it took me three minutes
to remember how to give myself a CAT scan.
I am slipping!
Not to worry, Baljeet.
We've done a bit of cerebro-stimulatory haberdashery since you left.
- Huh? - We made a hat for your brain, Slowy.
Boy, he is slipping!
- Try it on! - What does it do?
Hold on.
It stimulates your brain!
Oh, my!
An electric bike helmet? Lame!
Hey, Stacy, you still want to go to the pool?
So, Baljeet, how many subatomic particles do you suppose
are in that dandelion?
Two point seven-three-two times 10 to the 26th power of particles.
But I could not tell you the exact location of any of them
because of the Heisenberg uncertainty principle.
Seems like it works.
D Bow chicka bow-wow That's what my baby says *
* Mow-mow-mow and a something something… *
Perry the Platypus?
You know, you could have waited till I put my pants on!
That would have at least been polite.
And do you know what we do to rude people around here?
We put them in a water-soluble capsule.
And there's not enough platypus spit in the world to get you out of it.
Yeah, hop this way, let me show you what I've been up to.
Keys, keys, keys!
Master keys, skeleton keys, latch keys, skate keys, I love keys!
And you know, take it from me,
once you've accidentally locked yourself in a milk can
full of cockroaches for a couple hours you'll…
You'll develop a real appreciation.
But, uh, collecting keys one at a time takes forever!
That's why I've invented the Key-Find-inator!
Or the Find-A-Key-inator!
I… I haven't quite figured out what I want to call it.
Cool, huh? Soon I will be able to open any door
in the Tri-State Area! It's… It's brilliant!
Uh, but my key chain is enormous! And… And it weighs a ton
and everyone can hear me coming.
What I really need is one key that opens everything!
The Key to the City!
My pompous brother, the Mayor,
is always handing it out to some yokel of dubious qualifications.
Well, today it's going to be this yokel of dubious qualifications.
- Wow, look at him go! - He's like a new man!
Ah, he still gets de-pantsed one leg at a time.
This is great! With my stimulated brain,
I am dreaming up all sorts of super smart projects.
- Great! - Picked out a favorite?
I have! You see, the greatest impediment to making astronomical observations
is our atmosphere. It is like looking through pea soup!
So to make our terrestrial telescopes more effective,
I am going to take all of the Earth's atmosphere
and put it on the moon!
- Uh… - I don't, um…
Sounds suffocatey.
Oh, I will disintegrate that bridge when I come to it.
But, Baljeet, if the atmosphere is gone…
And it is so simple!
I can use an ion coupling device to attract each atmospheric molecule
to the second greatest gravity source, which, in this case, is the moon,
- and after the initial impact… - He is so hardcore!
The particles will bounce up into lunar orbit!
Blue skies on the moon! Imagine that!
Hey, Baljeet! Can I talk to you for a second?
Of course! I will just use small words!
So, we were hoping that we could talk you out
of transferring the Earth's atmosphere to the moon.
On the eve of my greatest triumph?
Well, we were just thinking it would be sort of a hollow victory,
you know, with everybody not being able to breathe anymore.
- Science marches on! - Okay, thanks!
Brain booster. In retrospect, not such a good idea.
I think brain boy's had enough stimulation for one day.
- Ow! Hey! That hurts. - Yes, yes, it does.
This way my work will not be interrupted by creatures
who cannot possibly understand it!
Like raccoons or people, for instance.
I was so looking forward to junior high!
We're going to have to get into that tower. Any ideas?
Yeah, so the, uh, Key to the City ceremony's
not starting for a while so, uh,
we got some…
Oh, you know, I just realized that I'm…
I'm wearing a white lab coat and I'm leaning back against a black tire.
That's…
I think I might have to go change.
Maybe we could each get a tool
and come at him from four different sides.
Baljeet is way too smart to fall for a trick like that.
Plot all you want. I have my eye on you.
No one will be able to stop me
from stripping away the Earth's atmosphere.
Oh, the things I will be able to see!
He was smart before, but now he's like a super genius!
Maybe we should try flattery to win him over.
Or how about a bribe?
I don't think we could offer him anything
that would satisfy his super intellect.
Yeah, he's so amazingly smart now.
All right, gang. This is our chance to attack the Atmospheric Device.
- He's bound to notice that. - Exactly!
This is just busy work, isn't it?
Jet packs? I thought you were…
Wood pulp effigies?
Clever,
but not clever enough.
D Be careful where you tread *
* You got me seeing red *
* I'm a mental thoroughbred *
* All the secrets of the universe are in my head
* You won't get very far I want to see the stars *
* Maybe later on I'll build a rocket to Mars *
* Now you're gonna feel the pain *
- d 'Cause you're taking on the big brain d. - D Big brain, yeah *
- d Taking on the big brain d. - D Big brain, yeah *
* You're looking like you're dragging your cerebral feet
* I know that you're all mental midgets so I'm gonna repeat *
* I'm using little words to make it plain *
- d Ain't no taking on the big brain d. - D Big brain, yeah *
- d No hope of taking on the big brain d. - D Big brain, yeah *
* There's no use taking on the big brain *
* I said, you're taking on the big brain *
- d He's a big brain d. - D Yeah d.
Ah! I got you in my tractor beam!
Time to strip the atmosphere from our planet
and allow an unobstructed view of the cosmos!
Danville Pool, here I…
Hello, Mom?
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
That would count as dangerous.
But I can't go anywhere until I find my keys.
Wow! Great mad scientist weather,
isn't it, Perry the Platypus?
It's so dramatic!
Oh, the ceremony should be starting now.
And now it is my pleasure to present the Key to the City
to this great humanitarian and American.
Th-thank you, thank you.
Um, you know, when I set out to reinvent the ball-peen hammer… Hey!
I've got it! I've got it!
There, you see? I told you it was water solu… Oh!
Only a few more seconds to my greatest triumph!
I wonder what I will do tomorrow.
Attention, Baljeet! Prepare to surrender!
Surrender to whom?
- You are frozen! - Are we?
That is not possible! Well, I mean clearly it is possible,
but highly unlikely.
- Prepare to be… - Surprise! Oh! Oh!
Oh, that is so gross! But it's kind of awesome.
Something is different. How did you get in here?
We tunneled up through the base
while you were busy with our jetpack decoys.
I do not understand.
Well, remember when we all made
those life-sized stuffed models of ourselves this morning?
- No. - It pays to show up on time.
I will get an alarm clock.
Two minutes to atmospheric transfer.
Oh! It is too late! I do not understand the controls anymore!
Didn't you build in a fail-safe or something?
Yes, of course! It is right here!
And the key is right on that hook!
Here it comes! Here it comes!
Yeah, I got it!
At last! I, Heinz Doofenshmirtz,
can open any door with this, the Key to the City…
You know, I can't believe it's so cartoonishly big.
It's almost like it's not a real key,
but just sort of, symbolic of a key. It's…
Hey, what are you doing?
Yeah, well, whatever, Perry the Platypus. I got what I want.
This giant, metal key that, when I think about it,
is probably too big to fit
into any of the keyholes that I would ever come across.
Which makes me question the whole value…
Oh, I guess I'll just call the…
Oh, for goodness sake! They were in my hand the whole time!
Nine, eight, seven…
- Where is the key? Where is it? - Six, five, four…
- Is this it? - Yes!
Three, two, one.
Atmospheric Transfer terminated.
We should do something about that helmet, huh?
No. No, you should not.
I used my now vastly superior intellect
to build the world's largest wedgie machine!
Boy, you try to eliminate the atmosphere one time…
Mom! Mom! Back yard!
- Look! - Hi, Mom.
Something is different.
But there was a monstrous building here just a second ago.
Well, it pays to be on time!
- Who wants pie? - I know I do!
Oh, me, me, me! Me, me, me!
Oh, there you are, Perry.
I'm going to get an alarm clock.
D You're looking like you're dragging your cerebral feet *
* I know that you're all mental midgets, so I'm gonna repeat *
* I'm using little words to make it plain *
- d Ain't no taking on the big brain d. - D Big brain, yeah *
- d No hope of taking on the big brain d. - D Big brain, yeah *
* There's no use taking on the big brain *
* I said you're taking on the big brain *
- d He's a big brain d. - D Yeah! *