sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ addic7ed.com ~
- This was nice. - Yeah, I'm glad we ran into each other.
Yeah. Almost literally. You barely missed me with your scooter.
What can I say? You walk slow.
So, uh, what're you doing tonight?
Yeah, I'm going to see Love Sandal.
It's a Love Handle cover band that, uh,
that plays in sandals.
My cousin plays bass. He can get us backstage.
It'll be fun. You wanna come?
Uh, no. No, I don't.
I'll catch you later.
I'll keep an eye out for that scooter.
♪ Monty and Vanessa sitting in a tree ♪
- Carl! - Let me finish.
♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G ♪
- Go ahead. - You mean there's more?
Look, you don't have to tell my Dad about this, do you?
Monty, Monty. Walk with me.
You know, your dad is my superior.
I'm obliged to tell him everything.
I can't imagine what could possibly sway me
to consider such a dereliction of duty.
All right, Carl, I get it. What do you want?
I want your father to disown you and adopt me!
Okay, what do you want within reason?
You don't understand. I do all the work at the agency,
but he doesn't even acknowledge me.
I mean, that's all I want, a simple "thank you."
Is that too much to ask?
- You just want him to say "thank you"? - Yes, a simple "thank you."
Carl, if that's all you want then
I'm sure I can get Dad to say "thank you" to you.
Well, if you can do that, maybe I can just forget to mention
the whole dating a sworn enemy's daughter thing.
Deal.
Hey, Ferb. Check out this cool picture
of Grandma and Grandpa Flynn in their pyramid water-skiing days.
Wow, it's all the fun of water-skiing times 10.
Y'know, I bet you pyramids would make any sports better.
- Ferb? - What do you two think you...
I know what we're gonna do today!
- Doing? - Oh hey, Candace.
- What? - I said, hey, Candace.
What? I can't hear you over all this ringing.
Don't worry about it.
It'll go away in a sec. See ya later, Candace.
I may not be able to hear you, but I can see you.
If you stay in range.
Hello, Candace! Right on schedule.
Uh, hi. Are you new here?
Heavens no, dear. I've been here all summer.
I've so enjoyed watching your brothers
- build so many amazing things every day. - Oh, that's perfect.
Ugh! You know what, my arms are getting really tired.
Just hold that thought I'll be right back.
- You were saying? - They're so inventive.
I mean, they built that roller coaster. Oh, and that spa.
And I love that platypus-themed restaurant.
Even though I couldn't get a reservation. The bouncer was so harsh.
Oh, but the best was when they had their own sitcom.
Wait, I wasn't even here for that one.
I know, but I wouldn't miss a minute
of witnessing your brother's backyard fun.
Lady, you've got to help me!
You've got to come down here and tell my Mom all about it!
Oh, I don't think so, dear.
Um, I just don't feel up to leaving the house.
No problem! You stay right where you are,
and I'll bring my Mom over!
Oh, by the way.
- What? - Where's Perry?
♪ Perry! ♪
- Hey, Dad. - Monty, my boy.
- It's always wonderful to see you. - Hello, sir.
Carl, what took you so long? Hand me that report there, would you?
- Yes, sir. - My coffee. Hah! Thanks, Monty.
- Argh! - Actually, Carl...
Carl, the trash chute is clogged again. Do you mind?
Of course not, sir. Pardon me.
Excuse me. Coming through.
- Uh, Dad. Agent P is here. - Oh. So he is.
Good morning, Agent P.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been spotted on his balcony
repeatedly shaking his fist and then running back into his building.
Which is obviously evil.
Well, okay, maybe not evil but definitely cliché.
So, go and stop him from his cartoon conventions.
♪ Pyramid sports ♪
♪ Pyramid sports, pyramid ♪
♪ Pyramid, pyramid sports ♪
♪ If you want something new ♪
♪ We've got the game for you ♪
♪ It's a sport of a different sort ♪
♪ You can do what the Pharaohs do ♪
♪ Woo ♪
♪ The new recreation ♪
♪ That is sweeping the nation with pyramid formation ♪
♪ Pyramid sports ♪
♪ Pyramid sports, pyramid ♪
♪ Pyramid, pyramid sports ♪
Here's how you play.
♪ Form yourselves into a pyramid ♪
♪ I guess that's step number one ♪
♪ Try any sport now experiment ♪
♪ Just go and have some fun ♪
♪ You can do any sport you wish ♪
♪ Archery, bowling ♪
♪ You can even pyramid fish ♪
I don't care if it's played in a field or on a court,
'cause everyone here is into pyramid sports.
♪ Pyramid sports ♪
I think I pulled my sigmoid colon.
Annoying musician? C'mon. C'mon. Come to pappa.
Ah, bingo! Hey, what's with the waffle?
Oh, very funny, Perry the Platypus. Very funny!
If you'll just be so kind as to move your tail out of the way.
Thank you. There we go. That's good.
See, now you're just being childish.
Look, I promise you, I'm not even being marginally evil.
I just want to stop that guy from playing his bagpipes.
Every day, 24 hours a day. I mean, look at him!
On what planet is that racket considered music?
Ugh, I cannot take it anymore
so I'm gonna hit his bagpipe with my Inflatinator.
Yeah, I know, it's basically the opposite of my old Deflatinator.
But I can't concentrate with all that noise.
I was lucky to come up with that. But when that bagpipe blows up,
I will once again be able to hear the usual din ringing
through the city streets. Like car alarms and babies crying.
And inators blowing up.
C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! This time I've got an eyewitness!
Go on, go on. Tell my Mom everything!
Well, when the empty window feels like talking, you let me know.
There it is. I dropped my penny.
Did you say something, dear?
How was your meal, Dad?
Absolutely delicious. What a great new place.
- I know, right? Carl found it. - Well, then. Let me just say, thank you,
to the chef. Thank you, for that delicious meal.
You're most welcome. So glad you enjoyed it.
Dad, isn't there something you wanted to say to Carl, as well?
Of course. What was I thinking?
Don't be rude, Carl! Thank the chef.
- Thank you. - I like this table.
And to show my gratitude, dessert is on the house.
Now, if you'll excuse me. I must go and fire a member of staff.
Luchenzo, come here!
There, you see? A little gratitude goes a long way.
Pay attention, Carl. You could learn something.
- Really learn something from you... - Just chill out. I got another idea.
Check you out, Perry the Bloat-a-pus!
Well, this is awkward. Seriously, you're gonna...
Well, I'm so glad to have this helipad installed.
Mmm.
Upsy-daisy.
No really. I swear, the old lady is there in the window
- right now. I swear! - No need to swear. I'm coming.
There she is!
Funny, Candace, I could swear your old lady
- looks just like a houseplant. - What?
There you go. A little thirsty, weren't you?
Oh, wow. Aw, man, we're not getting anywhere.
How about we take a time out?
Wait. Your hat has a pressure release valve?
Wow! So that's what the inside of a platypus smells like.
I could have gone my whole life without knowing that.
Hey!
Aw, man! Another inator bites the dust.
Now I'm stuck listening to Jerky MacIrritating across the street, now.
Shh.
What's that? Oh, I'm sorry. I'll stop.
I didn't realize I was disturbing you. Cheery-bye.
Huh. I guess I might have overthought that solution just a little bit.
Curse you, Perry the Platypus!
Whoo!
Ahh!
Whoo!
This had better work.
Don't worry, Carl. Once you save my Dad's life,
there's no way even he could avoid thanking you for it.
I hope for your sake you're right.
Y'know, it's funny how no one's noticed
a grand piano dangling precariously over our table.
Well, I also tied up a couple of violins over there
so it would seem like a theme.
All right, listen. So when my Dad returns,
I'll excuse myself and cut the rope
and you push my Dad out of the way of the falling piano. Got it?
- Well, let's get to that dessert menu. - Excuse me, Dad. It's my turn.
I'll be right back. You guys start.
Sure, sure. Thank you for not making us wait.
That bathroom attendant was lovely.
He gave me mints and some floss. I just couldn't thank him enough.
Watch out, sir!
- Dad! Carl! Are you all right? - Oh, I'm fine.
- I'm all right too, sir. - Wow, Carl. You saved my Dad's life.
Yes. It's a shame he couldn't save the table too.
- Let's go find the host. - No, wait. What? Seriously?
- What? - Dad. Aren't you going to thank him?
Oh, well, I didn't realize, I hadn't.
Thank you for pointing that out to me, Monty.
Dad!
Oh, uh, yes, right. Thank you, Carl.
Oh, well, more dessert for us.
No, it's different this time! She promised to come down and meet us.
Right. My expectations have been completely reversed.
No! You'll see. She'll explain everything.
Everything!
Yes! See.
Mom, lady. Lady, Mom. Now, tell her everything.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say...
Take your hands off me, Copper! I know my rights.
Sorry, Candace. Water the plant for me.
- I don't understand. What's going on? - Police matter, miss.
What could that sweet old lady have possibly done?
That "sweet" old lady is Peggy "The Pyramid" McGee,
the notorious ringleader of Danville's biggest pyramid scheme.
Pyramid scheme?
That's right. She's been selling these all over town.
See. These are just flat triangles painted in perspective!
That's fraud.
I'll be out before the time her mom serves pie!
Wow, Candace. I can't believe it.
- A pyramid scheme right under our noses! - Yeah. Imagine that.
- Hey! - Hey, yourself.
- I thought, uh... - Yeah, so did I.
But then I figured I couldn't leave you here to suffer alone.
That's what I like.
Thoughtful and dismissive simultaneously.
No! Wait, wait, wait! Is that the Love Sandals?
Whoa! Watch the hands, lady! Hey!
"Troy Story"
Hey, Candace. Doing a little light summer reading, I see.
This is for the book club, Jeremy and I joined.
We all read the same book, and then get together and discuss over tea.
- Sounds sophisticated. - Yeah, the tea was my idea.
This week we're reading, "The Iliad."
That's a great book! It's all about the Trojan War!
- You read this? - We all did.
You're not the only one with a book club, you know.
I like your idea about the tea, though. Ferb, make a note of that.
The war started because Paris fell in love with Helen of Troy.
It's so romantic.
Yeah, and Helen could launch a thousand ships with her face!
My favorite character was Achilles, the greatest Greek warrior of all time.
He had this big fight with Hector.
He was all, wham! Bam!
- Stab! Stab! Stab! - Cut it out!
Isn't there something about a wooden horse?
Yeah, the Greek army built a huge wooden horse
and left it outside the gates of Troy.
The Trojans thought that the Greeks had given up
and that the horse was some sort of tribute to them.
So, they wheeled it inside the gates.
Hey. How did they get that big horse in that tiny door?
- Buford, just try imaging a larger door. - Oh, okay. Hang on.
- Oh, yeah. That's better. - Then late at night,
the Greeks climbed out of the horse, opened the gates...
Then it was all, wham, zam, stab, stab, stab!
- Cut it out! - Wow, really sounds exciting.
I better get started. Book club is in three hours. Bye!
Wow. She must be a fast reader.
What gets me is, why did the Trojan War take so long?
If I were Achilles, I could have taken the city of Troy
- like in one afternoon. - Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!
We're gonna finally recreate the Trojan War.
I'll be Paris because my name starts with a "P."
And I'll be Helen because... uh, my name starts with "I"
which is right after "H."
And I'll be the great Achilles!
And I'll be all wham, zam, stab, stab, stab!
Cut it out!
And you can be Hector. Now get over there. I'm taking Ferb.
- Hey everyone, can I play? - No!
- I've got baklava. - Welcome to the Greek army.
You know who loves history and historical reenactments.
Hey, where's your Dad?
So it goes over, under, around and through.
Oh, lovely. Time to open the shop.
Hello, Agent P... I see you used the rabbit-hole entrance.
Freaks the heck out of intruders.
Anyway, no news on what Doof is up to yet.
We're still awaiting a surveillance report from our special CR Unit.
Hey, Carl! Any news from Team Cockroach?
Nothing yet, sir. We think they may have been scattered.
Quite frankly, we fear the worst. Which isn't that bad.
They're just a bunch of roaches after all.
So we're gonna need you to get over to Doof and see
what mischief he's up to today. Good luck, Agent P.
And they say Rome wasn't built in a day.
Uh, technically, that's not Rome, that's supposed to be Troy.
If I wanted nerd facts, I would have kept Baljeet.
In case you are wondering,
the word you are looking for is "impenetrable."
Actually, the word I was looking for is "decimate."
- Fair enough. - Yeah, we're gonna need a bigger army.
Irving, break out my recruitin' fustanella.
- You mean the little Greek skirt? - It's a fustanella!
# Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! #
Coming! Hold on! Just hold your horses!
Wait... Hello?
Ha! You missed me, Perry the Platypus!
But I got you!
You see, I was just doing a little inventory and reorganization
of all the stuff that I've collected over the last 40 years.
Yeah, I know it's gotten a little out of hand.
I kinda let it go and Norm's been in Maui for, like, a month.
So I made the De-clutterinator.
I was actually gonna shoot myself with it,
which would make me want to unclutter everything, and,
uh, then I lost it, 'cause, you know, it's...
it's really cluttered in here.
So then I hired a nice young lady named Doreen
to help me get organized, and, well, I think she may have gotten lost, too.
I haven't seen her in days. Doreen, are you out there?
So thirsty.
I never approved overtime!
Food.
So, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to my search for Doreen.
Maybe I'll get lucky and find the De-clutterinator, too.
Hey, Doreen! Marco!
Water.
Yeah, she really stinks at this.
Okay, next!
- Name? - Balthazar Horowitz.
- But you can call me the Ball Pit Kid. - Any medical problems?
- Well, I have a perforated... - Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're in.
Get a shield, come back with it or on it.
- Next! Name? - Dimitri Papanicolas.
Any experience being Greek?
Actually, I am Greek. I was born on the island...
I don't want your life story!
Grab a shield, come back with it or on it.
Irving, go get some more baklava. Come back with it or on it.
- I'm on it! - Yeah? Well, get with it.
"Sing, goddess, the anger of Peleus' son, Achilles..."
"Achilles, and its devastation which put pains upon the Achaeans..."
"Upon the Achaeans, hurled in their multitude to the house of..."
Hector!
Oh, for Pete's sake!
Buford! I'm trying to read this...
What the heck is going on out here?
You've inspired us, Candace! What do you think?
Are you by any chance re-enacting the Trojan War? Like in my book?
- That's the plan. - Okay.
I'll just watch you guys and take notes for my book club.
Buford, continue.
Heya, Hector! Why don't you come on down here?
I got something for ya.
Oh, sweet! I am going down there.
Okay, here I am. What have you got for me?
Get him!
Oh, no! Not good!
Eat hot chariot, sucker!
Well, so much for Hector.
♪ There was a hottie named Helen ♪
♪ And she launched a thousand ships with her face ♪
♪ Face, face, face ♪
♪ Paris took her home to Troy ♪
♪ And to the Greeks this was a slap in the face ♪
♪ Face, face, face ♪
The Trojans stole Helen!
♪ Agamemnon got mad 'cause that just wasn't right ♪
♪ He said, "Hold your Trojan horses, now we're having a fight" ♪
♪ And I haven't sacked a village since at least last Saturday night ♪
♪ And for 10 years they were all... ♪
♪ Stabbing, and jabbing, and clashing, and gashing, ♪
♪ And brawling, and mauling, and trashing, and smashing ♪
♪ When they finally figured out they couldn't take 'em by force ♪
♪ The Greeks all got together and they hid in a horse ♪
♪ Bagpipe solo! ♪
♪ Troy! Troy! Troy! Troy! ♪
You know, bagpipes are sort of anachronistic for this time...
Quiet, you! Go back to being vanquished.
♪ Troy! Troy! Troy! Troy! ♪
Troy! Troy! Troy! Troy. Oh, it's all over.
♪ Doreen! Come out, come out, wherever you are! ♪
I should have... I should have brought some bread crumbs
or something to leave behind me so I could find my way...
Oh, you know what? Better yet, I should have brought a sandwich,
'cause I am famished.
Hey, where you guys going? We're not done yet.
- I gotta get home. - I've got book club.
I've got a balalaika lesson.
You know, they've got a word for what you guys are doing.
- Yeah. It's desertion. - No, it's...
Oh, no. It is desertion. Irving, get over here.
- It's time to execute Plan B. - Plan B?
Yeah, you know the one where you climb into the decoy and, uh...
- Oh, that Plan B... - Get going.
A Trojan platypus?
Come on, Buford, what makes you think we'd fall for that.
I told you, Buford.
Why did you have me get in this thing?
Now, we're getting somewhere.
Ha! I bet you didn't see a Trojan T. Rex
with laser-cannon mouth and laser eyes comin', did you?
Well, he's got me there.
Seriously, if you were just gonna crush the Trojan platypus,
- why did I... - Leave me my simple pleasures.
Now, Ferb, destroy Troy! This is why I got Ferb on my team!
Uh-oh. Looks like Ferb's goin' off book.
Everyone to the chariots! Hang on!
Whoa-ho! Laser-proof. Nice touch, Ferb.
This is really cool.
Book club starts in 10 minutes.
I have an idea! Throw that rope to the other chariot!
Well, that can't be good.
I guess they knew a T. Rex's weakness is also its Achilles' heel.
- That was awesome! - Who won?
This time I think it was a draw.
Come on, let's go tell Candace how it ends.
Yeah, and maybe we can pick up some Greek frozen yogurt on the way.
Doreen, come on, quit kidding around.
Perry the Platypus?
You've found the De-clutterinator!
Excellent, okay, shoot me.
Shoot me and I'll clean this whole place up.
Oh wait. What?
Oh, it's not plugged in. Hold on one sec.
My, word! What a mess.
Okay, here's an open socket.
That doesn't sound good.
Oof, I say, I feel the sudden urge to declutter.
Well, you have to admit it did get rid of the clutter.
- There you are. - Doreen! What's happening?
My invoice. You'll be hearing from my lawyer.
Curse you, Perry the Platypus!
And there goes the last of it!
Lawrence, what are you doing out here?
Oh, you know, just tidying up a little.
Well, the yard looks great! Come on in the kitchen.
I've got a plate of cake that needs cleaning up.
I'm your man.
Now that we're all here. Who wants to go first.
Ooh, me! In general I thought the Greeks' decoy platypus
was a brilliant idea until it got smashed by the T. Rex!
Its use of lasers to destroy the city of Troy really seemed
unbeatable until Paris flew down in his laser chariot.
The flying chariots were all, pew, pew, pew, pew!
- Ga, ga, ga, ga! And... - Cool!
"The Iliad" is truly an epic!
Candace, you didn't read the book, did you?
I'm so busted.
Oh, that's okay. I don't think anyone did.
I just come to book club for the tea.
sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ addic7ed.com ~