- Hi, I'm Bryce Shivers. - Hi, I'm Lisa Eversman.
And we put birds on things.
Today, we're gonna
go to a store
on Mississippi Avenue.
Nothing has birds on it,
but you what we're gonna do?
We're gonna put birds on things.
Spruce it up.
Make it pretty!
Thank you.
Put a bird on it.
Putting a bird
on this teapot.
It's a bird!
Betcha it's flying
all over the beach.
What a sad little tote bag.
I know-
I'll put a bird on it.
Did you see this bag before?
I didn't.
Now there's a bird.
It's flying.
It's free!
I'm gonna put this bird
right on this card.
It's so pretty.
You like that, ma'am?
It's fantastic.
Making a bird on toast.
Put a bird on it!
Look at this.
I just sewed this bird
right onto the pillow.
Oh, you missed a spot.
Ow- what are you doing?
Watch your fingernails.
What about the bird?
Am I bleeding?
Ma'am, am I bleeding?
No, you're fine.
Stop looking at her.
She's fine.
I know she's fine.
I'm not- put
a
bird
on
it.
I'm painting a bird
on a bird.
Ahh!
My eyes!
Straight up got dust
right in my eyes.
Just paint the bird
or whatever it is
you need to do,
and don't blow on things.
Put a bird on it.
There's birds everywhere,
and now you can open
for business.
What the hell is that?
Please go away?
I'm allergic.
Yeah- you're not wanted!
Oh, gross!
[ Music ]
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Carrie: What is it
that you call the mayor?
Iu it, sir?
Fred: Or maybe
it's just laid back.
It's just like, "hey, man."
You know,
'cause he seems so cool.
Right.
Oh- whoa!
That's like totally him.
Bianca: Fred and Carrie?
The mayor will see you now.
Mayor: So?
Psyched to meet you-
you're like the coolest mayor
we've ever had.
Awesome.
Thanks so much.
Your office is so cool.
Hmm...
Isn't this awesome?
Look at the awards
you have.
Yeah, and, oh, this is,
uh, this is the latest one
we just got.
"Best official website
"for cities with populations
"under 700,000 in the
"pacific northwest area."
Congratulations.
Yeah, thanks.
Well, I had this one made,
and I presented it to myself.
Oh, you had it made?
Yeah.
You know, it's the best site
out there, anyway- right?
Seattle's is the worst.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Too many links.
Oh, yeah,
you don't want that.
Bianca tells me
you have an idea.
All right,
so we have this idea.
Yeah.
We're sort of
former musicians.
We've been in bands and stuff,
and so we thought like,
if we had a city holiday
for Portland,
and it's "bring your guitar
"to school or work" day.
Uh-hmm.
Now, wait-wait-
you said you're musicians,
right?
Yeah.
I've got a little project
that I'm working on.
It's really dear to my heart.
I need to come up with
a new theme song
for a new ad campaign
for Portland.
This is where my head is
right now.
What do you guys think?
You're musicians...
You said you write music.
I think you might be
perfect for this.
To-to write it-
we would write it?
Yeah, I want it
to be about Portland.
You know, all about
the inspiration
that you get from the city.
We have Bridges,
mountains, rivers, nature-
all of that.
All of that.
Bicycles-
all of that fits in.
One word of warning?
Please don't make it
like Seattle.
The space needle.
Wooo!
Like we've never seen
that before.
You got it.
Okay.
Wonderful!
This is so good!
I'm so glad you came in today.
Yeah, all right.
This is just perfect.
You just made me
the happiest mayor
in the country.
We work for you.
Good, I'm gonna work on
my core.
All right, it's nice
to meet you.
So great to meet you.
You're so cool.
Oh, guys, guys, guys,
this is like something
that's really important to me.
It's indigenous art.
I don't know if it speaks
to you musically?
But, you know, use that.
I think that is something
that is really gonna make
a difference in this music.
Great- we'll just
bring it back to you?
And bring it back to me.
Yeah- that'd be great.
All right- you sold us.
I love my artists.
Sir, thank you.
I support them.
Thank you.
Just one thing.
Don't make it sound like
it's coming from Seattle.
Okay, you got it.
Okay?
Portland all the way.
Go Portland!
All right- thank you!
Yay!
Bicycle ride-
bicycle rides!
Bicycles rides- bicycle.
On a bike- on a bike.
Hi, I'm on a bike.
You're gonna turn?
You gotta tell me!
Watch out!
Bike-bike-bike!
Oh, cars...
Man, why?
I don't have
a driver's license.
I don't need it.
In a bike Lane here.
I get this whole Lane.
Ten feet rule!
Oregon state law- ten feet.
Hey, birds!
Guys have little bikes?
What you lookin' at?
I dig that tribal look.
[ Indistinct shouting ]
I hope I get a sunburn.
[ Beat boxing ]
Hold up.
I'm stopping.
I'm stopped.
[ Whistles ]
That means I'm stopped.
Pull your mirrors in.
Slow down- let me go.
Ah, lofts, why?
Watch out.
Hey- bike Lane.
Bike Lane!
Bicycle rides.
Go vegan!
Move, move, move!
Move over a little bit.
Got a better place to be?
Move!
Ow!
Bicycle rides...
Is anyone home?
Stuart?
St-stu?
You home?
Please don't be working
at the co-op- please!
So, this is our new batch of books.
I think we should just
kind of go through it,
and make sure that it's what
we want in the store.
Okay, great!
"The new girl order."
It's a top selling author.
Do we want that in here?
No, we want
bottom selling authors.
You want to see
my impression of Donna?
Okay, this is her
filing things.
"Oh, you wanted it today?
"Oh, okay, well, let me just"-
it's pretty good, right?
No, it's horrible,
horrible impersonation
of Donna, and considering
that that's your daughter-
hi, welcome to
"women and women first."
Hi.
Um, what happened
to your pants?
They're frayed.
Um, the psu bookstore
sent me here.
I'm actually just like
getting a bunch of books
for class for my
women's study's class.
Do you have like
a computer system
where I can just look it up.
No-no-
we're that computer.
We're the computer.
Okay, um,
"different daughters."
"Vaginas: An owner's manual"-
slow down.
"Different daughters."
We carry- if we-
we can order that for you.
It'll take a year to get here.
It has to be written.
And who's your teacher?
Marilyn Kendall.
Hmm...
She's a little
odd looking, isn't she?
I guess.
It's almost like
they've made her eyes weird.
They?
Don't-don't you think?
Who made her eyes weird?
Goddesses.
What's the name of
the first book?
"Vaginas:
"An owner's manual."
Hold on a second.
Wait...
I'm not looking
for your book.
This is something else.
This is employee's rules.
Okay, well, I'm-
this class you're taking?
You don't need it.
We have classes here.
Abby Dee's queer question.
What don't you take that?
I have a pole dancing
class that day.
Excuse me?
Pole dancing?
You have- pole dancing?
Exercise?
We're about to freak out
right now.
We're about two seconds away
from jumping up
on this table, and kicking
everything in sight,
which by the way,
is our own property.
So, I guess
I'll just go somewhere else.
No-no-no.
Let's find these books
for you.
I can do it myself.
Oh, we don't want you
to do anything by yourself.
We'll help you.
Are you in a rush?
Yeah, actually,
I kind of have to go.
So...
Can I do my impression
of you?
"Yeah, actually,
"I've gotta go."
Oh, that book's on my list.
"Different daughters."
Oh, can you- can you
put that away, please?
It's over there.
Every time you point
I see a penis.
Oh, I can't reach it.
We'll have to get it
for you another time.
It's right there.
I can't reach it.
Can you just get it.
It's like honestly,
it's right there.
Let me show you.
It's right there.
At this time,
we cannot get it for you.
I can't reach it.
You're touching it.
Why are you doing that?
I'm touching it,
but it's not enough
to pull it.
I can rest my hand-
what's wrong with your hand?
This is my full extension.
Okay, can I get it?
It's not within reach
so let's just- we'll move on.
It's not within reach?
No.
Can't reach it- nope.
Nope- I can't reach it.
We can give you this book,
we can give you this book,
we can give you this book.
I just need this book!
We lost another one.
Hey, it's Carrie,
please leave a message.
Fred: Hey, Carrie,
uh, it's me.
I'm I have some ideas
for the, uh, Portland song.
Tell what you think of this...
Portland community college
they sent me a reminder
everyone was staring
at the Halloween mask that-
oh, okay,
you get the basic idea
though, right?
Okay- call me back.
Hey, Fred, it's Carrie.
Uh, I liked your idea
for a song- I had one.
I thought we should
sing about like
people gathering around
vegetables and fruits,
and it's like...
Community garden workshop
teach me to rake and hoe-oh
hey, ah, I was thinking
something where
a syncopated beat's kinda...
[ Imitating beats ]
Okay, bye.
Hey, Fred, it's Carrie.
I have another idea
for the song.
Native plants.
Natives plants- oh.
Hi.
Short term parking
long term parking
and short term parking
do you ever think about
how Portland hasn't had like
a national tragedy yet?
The day the beer
stopped flowin'
attention-attention
let me get your attention
the people of Portland-
ah-ha
fruit carts
so cheap
fruit carts
ha!
Thank you.
Professor says
get an education
he's right
Professor says
I'm gonna tell you
what's right
Portland
we got it goin' on
[ electricity surging ]
Anyway, um,
I need to call you back.
I am not
I am not a business man
and that's why
I will stay
in Portland Oregon
okay, can you
pick me up, please?
Thank you- bye.
Hi.
Sorry, I'm late.
That's okay.
Everything sounds great.
The Mayor's gonna love it.
Absolutely.
Dave, do you see that dog over there?
- Oh, yeah, what's the deal? - Who does that?
Who puts a dog outside?
Does that belong
to somebody?
We gotta ask around.
Yeah.
Excuse me.
Sir, is that your dog
right there?
Okay.
Hey, guys-
we're looking for
a dog... owner.
It like
a white and brown dog.
For real...
We got an owner on the dog?
Huh?
There's an animal tied up
to a piece of metal.
I'm sure it wasn't
born there.
How can you guys
just sit there eating.
If the Titanic
was sinking right there,
would you just ignore it?
While you guys are eating,
I'll not be able to eat
until this is resolved.
Hi, have you seen this dog?
Are you the owner?
Have you seen this?
Guys, come on!
Hello!
Is anybody listening?
This dog will not be
a bait dog in a fight ring.
Baby, come on.
Fine.
It's okay.
She's upset.
Cath is upset.
I'll tell you something.
We want our ice tea
and our orange juice
just like you do.
He fainted?
Oh, poor thing.
Where's the waitress.
Hey-
ma'am.
I mean, we don't really
carry dog food.
Ah, what do you think of
fried stuffed olives?
A dog portion of it?
I can tell right now,
we're gonna want the meatballs
braised with tomato.
I want you to leave off
the Rosemary.
Ah, let's get these
skillet mussels
with drawn butter.
Seared butter-
are you getting all this?
You aren't writing
anything down.
It's- I can remember it.
Really?
Yeah.
What's the second thing
we ordered?
You ordered
the braised meatballs.
Gosh, she's good.
Yeah, you're good.
You're very good.
You know what that dog
would say right now
to you guys
if he could speak?
He would say, "ruff"
and "blah" and "rah-rah-rah."
And ask some of the people
who work in the kitchen,
if-if this dog belongs to them.
We don't really
bring dogs to work.
Well, maybe one of
the dishwashers?
You could say something like,
"[ speaking Spanish ]."
Oh, I mean,
they speak English.
The dishwashers?
Yeah.
We speak Spanish.
We like we travel a lot.
Went to Ecuador.
I am really, really sorry
for what you're going through.
Okay, please, set it down.
Set it down immediately.
Immediately!
You know what?
He doesn't like it.
Take it away.
This smells metallic to me.
No, no, please.
We don't want the water
or anything.
Dave, I'm freaking out.
I'm freaking out!
Calm down- calm down.
Calm down.
You know what we're gonna do?
We're-we're gonna let him go.
Let him go.
Please?
You're gonna have
all kinds of experiences,
and meet all kinds of dogs.
There's some good paths
out there.
There's one path that goes
right up the hillside.
It's so pretty,
you won't even believe it.
And when you're thirsty,
you can drink from
any lake you want.
Imagine the biggest lake
in the whole world.
The ocean.
You can just drink
the whole thing.
Bye.
You're free.
Run it out, buddy.
You're free, soldier.
Where's Tucker?
I don't know, sweetie?
Hi, um, did you happen
to see a dog?
We did see a dog actually.
You did?
Okay, what-what,
did you see where he went?
He went that way?
We-we had to let him go.
Is this some kind of joke?
No- who puts their dog
on a pole like a stripper?
Who does that?
Everybody puts they're-
wait a minute.
Who are you people?
We-we were just gone
for a few minutes.
Okay, how-
a few minutes is like
a month in dog years.
Well, it's-it's,
we went to get cookie-
we took your dog
off the pole
'cause it was choking.
Now get out of my face.
I wasn't in your face.
Get out of her face, man.
She was- listen, uh, hey,
where-where you going?
Did the right thing.
I'm calling the cops.
So tired of people.
Hi, Jordan.
No, Jordan, hey-
no... crying's for girls.
Quiet down-
this is ridiculous.
Let's go.
No crying.
We don't need to cry, jord.
I'm not crying.
[ Moaning ]
Nina: Lance, um,
that was kind of rough,
and I feel like
when we do this like,
if I want you to stop,
like maybe we should have
like a safe word or something.
You know what I mean?
Lance: What you
talkin' about?
I, ah, just saying
instead of saying "stop",
I just say the word.
Like what?
Well, Lisa and Bryce
have one.
I know...
Like...
[ Gasps ]
How about "cacao?"
That's kind of
a cool word, "cacao."
Yeah.
That's fine.
Okay, so if I ever say
"cacao," that means
hold off and stop.
Okay?
I get it.
It doesn't mean
I don't love you,
and it doesn't mean that
I don't want to try things.
Okay?
I hope not.
Be a brave girl for me?
All right.
[ Music plays ]
Cacao.
Sorry.
Cacao.
Oh, row your boat.
Oh!
Cacao.
Like Sophia
wanted my birthday party
at that hotel.
Cacao.
And I told everyone,
"okay, you can show up
"as long as you make a-"
cacao-
and my teacher- cacao-
showed up, and he was like,
"oh, you're different now."
And I was like, "yeah,
"I'm different-" cacao.
That's what happens to people
like they get more mature.
Cacao.
There's no parking there.
Cacao- but all they have
is valet parking- cacao-
and when he asked me
to park cars- cacao-
I'm like I'm not- cacao-
I'm not, I'm not gonna-
cacao.
I'm not gonna park- cacao
I'm not gonna-
cacao.
I'm sleeping.
I was riding my harley
the other day,
and I went around this corner.
There was this lady there.
Watch splashed up on her.
She got so wet.
God, she was just
dripping wet.
[ Cell phone rings ]
Oh!
Lance, Lance... wait.
Cacao.
I didn't even try anything.
No, cacao to leaving.
Cacao to not being
in my life.
Cacao to cacao.
Come upstairs to bed.
And this time no cacao.
Cacao no more.
[ Music ]
Oh, thank you!
Eh, that's song
was called "cacao."
This next song is called
"vanilla."
That's great news.
So Tucker is safe and sound?
Oh, thanks for the call.
Okay.
Bryce: Ah, Mr. mayor.
Lisa: Hi.
Hey!
We have a song.
Oh, my God!
I'm so excited.
This is good.
Oh, uh, did you bring back
the, uh, inspirational
sand print?
Uh, yeah.
Yes, I did!
Here you go.
Good-good-good!
Yes-yes!
That's very important.
This is so exciting.
Well, we're pretty
psyched about it.
We included everything.
And the mix
is really good, too.
We have this engineer
like he really knows
what he's doing, so...
It's track one.
Do I need to do anything
with that or-
it should just come up, right?
Yeah.
Is this a, um,
cd-minus-r or cd-plus?
I bought a cd-cd minus-r.
Cd- oh, really?
Yeah.
Because one of them
doesn't play on this computer.
I can't remember
which one it is.
You know what we should do?
We should just get a cd-
Sam, do we have a cd player?
Let's just get a cd player.
Sam: No cd player.
Oh...
You know what?
I have it as an email.
I have it.
Oh, that would work.
Do you have wifi here?
Sam, do we have wifi?
Yes.
What's the password?
Ah, it's, ah,
capital, c-I-t-y... "O"
with a slash through it,
"f," a dollar sign
instead of an "s,"
e- s-9-7-5-4-2-
password's too long,
we've got to change that.
Fire wire over to me,
and I fire wire over to this-
what kind of cables
do we have?
Do we have fire wire?
Who's got the other side
of this?
Who's got the other side-
you have it
on your computer.
Is there a way you can
get it from your computer
to the speakers?
That-that's what
we're trying to do.
Sam, do we have
any headphones- anyone go on
jet blue recently?
Maybe they give you those
headphones for two bucks.
We should save those.
If I could get these
speakers out-
you know what,
this adapter's not on.
Can you email me the file?
Why not email it to him?
I can only send it
as a picture.
Oh, good.
Hey, your email
just came in.
Oh, perfect.
It looks like
it's got a virus.
What?
Shut down.
Close every window.
You know what?
Donna has instruments here.
We have a guitar.
You just wanna play it live?
I mean, I love live music.
Sam, check with Donna.
See if she's got that guitar
in her office?
That's perfect.
Thank you.
Drums...
Ah, there was that marching
band in here last week.
That's the one I was thinking
with the beavers.
Oh, this is perfect.
We're in business.
What do we need?
Plug in.
Okay, so this is what
the song sounds like.
Ready?
Okay, count me up.
One-two-three-four.
Adriano_CSI www.addic7ed.com
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