- Megan is running late. - Okay.
Hey, did you guys read that thing in "the Newyorker" last month
about golf is an analogy for marriage?
I did. I did read that.
Did you read that
in "McSweeney's?"
It was comparing cd tracks
and album tracks.
Did you read that?
Yeah.
Did you read that thing
in "mother Jones" about
eco chairs and eco waste?
I did... I did.
Did you read that thing in
"spin" about all the festivals?
Did you read that thing
in "paste?"
It was about the national.
Oh, I saw that.
Did you see that thing
in "dwell" about all
the mid-century houses.
Yeah... did you read
"the New York times?"
Yes.
"The New York observer?"
Yes.
"Washington post?"
Yes.
"Wall street journal"
of course, I read it.
Did you read that
steam punk article
in "one way?"
I did not like the end of it.
Did you read that
sky writing over
the Williamette river?
Yes... did you read
that fortune cookie?
Yes!
From last night?
Yes!
Did you read it?
Yes!
There were two.
Yes... did you read
that thing that guy wrote
in the sand on the beach?
Yeah.
Did you read
the "Portland Mercury?"
Did you read the?
Yeah.
Did you read
the "Seattle stranger?"
Beginning to end.
Did you read
the "s up weekly?"
I loved it!
"The Harper lampoon."
Well written.
Did you read "mad magazine?"
I did not like the end of it.
Did you read "Cathy?"
That was cute.
Did you read "family circus?"
Sure.
Did you read
"Calvin and Hobbes?"
Sure.
Did you read
"the Boston globe?"
Did you read
"the Washington blade?"
We read it together.
Did you read...
Did you read?
Of course, I did.
I read it to a friend of mine.
Did you read the closing credits
of that movie?
Yeah... did you read...
did you read it?
Do you read "the Bible?"
Did you read it?
Finger writing on the window?
Hi, Maggie.
Hey, Maggie!
Did you guys, uh,
read the new "Portland monthly?"
It's crazy.
Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
Hey... says "don't walk."
Can't you read?
Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com
Hello, mayor's office.
Yes.
Do you have an e.T.A.?
Why not?
All right, bye-bye.
Where are you gonna
get your book signed?
Oh, I'm just gonna
do the first blank open page.
Oh, I do the title page,
usually.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Mayor's office.
You just find out.
Find it out.
Well...
Ma'am, hi... how long,
how long do you think
it'll be?
Just wanna get this signed,
that's all.
Well, he has
the senior citizens in there,
you know, and they talk
kinda slow.
Ma'am, all we want is
just a quick signature,
a quick hello and then
we're outta there.
Yes, but...
where'd she go?
I don't know.
Is someone chasing her
or something?
Well-well-well-well...
Ma'am, all we want
is just a quick signature
and then we're outta here,
I promise.
Well, I'm gonna tell ya
the truth, the mayor happens
to have a draining cyst
on his check
and it's really kind of ugly
and he doesn't
wanna be seen that way.
You know what?
I don't care about
a draining cyst.
Everyone has stuff like that.
He's a vain man.
Okay, I feel like
if he knew we were here
he would just run out
and say, "hey, Fred.
"Hey, Carrie."
Yes?
By the wharf.
The wharf?
Nothing.
Well *** It.
Got some... l-lot of drama
going on, huh?
There's a lot going on.
There's a lot-lot-lot
going on.
You can just him know
that we're here, please.
Gosh, she's so amped up.
She's running full speed.
You know, why don't we
just go in there?
I don't know
what she's doing.
Okay, let's go.
Mr. mayor?
How are you?
Could you just sign
our books real quick?
Oh, sure,
I'll sign your book.
Just, uh...
Ma'am.
What are,
what are you doing?
What's going on?
The mayor is missing.
Well, when's the last time
you saw him?
Two days ago.
We gotta go find him.
Yeah, let's go.
Hi.
Hi, can we help you?
I'm Beth.
Hi.
The house sitter.
Oh, right, okay.
We're gonna shut this
and open the front door,
okay?
Just to let you in
'cause you can't fit
through here.
Thank you for
house sitting for us.
Yeah.
We really appreciate it.
Wow, this is really nice.
It is.
It is... yes.
This is...
this is our kitchen.
This is like a living being.
I mean the whole house,
you gotta treat it with love
and affection and attention.
So when is, um, trash day?
Oh, we don't
observe trash day.
Oh, okay.
What do you want me to do
with the garbage?
Just photograph
the bags of trash
and send it to us
and we'll judge from there.
Uh, okay.
Okay.
I just wanna show you
what it's like when you sleep.
I often, uh,
I'll do this expression...
And then waking up
I try to do a...
What time is it?
I'll just lay down.
See these books?
Yeah.
Don't ever open them.
Okay.
They're not for reading.
Cool.
And those pears...
this is not a lie,
they're 700 years old.
Should I get the mail?
I don't think
I've ever received mail here.
This is the light.
Oh, is there like
a weird thing about it?
Just-just watch
when I do it, okay?
You don't have to
talk through it.
Just watch me.
The tendency here is
because I'm nearsighted,
I get in really close.
And, as soon as she calls
my name you can hit
your head on here.
Yeah.
From the alarm of
hearing your name.
Bryce!
Then there's that.
I was hit
and was disoriented
and my eyes went here
and it scratched my corneas.
My God!
And as I came...
put my hand up to sort of
stop some of the scratching
going further,
I had lost my balance
and hit my temples on here.
And you got a lot of
smashing of the temples
as you're trying
to regain your balance.
So you got your jaw hitting it
and you're trying to call
for help and your teeth
are hitting the edge
of the counter.
That bouncing is what
can knock you out to the point
where you can't get
the same cup
that you'd get usually.
See what I'm saying?
Honestly, I'm not gonna
go crazy on the counter
or anything.
I mean I'll just like,
do one of, one of these.
Otherwise, like I said,
you know...
Yeah.
Okay.
That's the last room.
This is the end of the tour.
Okay, cool.
Oh.
So you're clear on everything
we told you with the house?
Yep.
You good?
Yeah.
We're entrusting our house
with you, Beth.
The minute you leave
my boyfriend's
not gonna come over.
We're not gonna make out
on the couch or anything.
Why did you bring it up?
That was weird.
I was kidding.
We will be back
in two hours.
Did you just say
two hours?
Sorry?
Did you say two hours?
Yes.
You're coming back here
in two hours?
Yeah.
Bryce.
See ya then.
Okaz...
Hi.
Hi, how are you?
Good, how are you guys?
Actually, we are looking
for somebody.
We're looking specifically
for the mayor of Portland.
And we were wondering
if you could trace him using
satellite technology to
pinpoint his exact location.
Like, maybe he's got
his phone on him and you can
track it on a map.
I-I think that exists.
Are you on his family plan?
We're not.
Oh, well, then we can
only help you track
if he is on the family plan.
Oh, really?
Yeah, legally,
we're not allowed to do it.
Damn it.
Damn it... all right.
Do you guys wanna sign up
for a family plan?
Yes.
Sure... his family plan?
We can do that?
No, you start a family plan
and you just ad him to it
and then I can help you
locate him using
the find my phone feature.
That's great.
Yes, we would like to do that.
It's standard on
all our plans.
Well, we're not like kicking
out someone in his family
to do that, right?
Just a new plan.
It starts over.
This is a fresh start.
Actually, the program
is called "fresh start."
Yeah, why would you
be concerned about
kicking someone out
in his family?
That's not
what this is about.
Um, the basic plan we have
for the family is, uh,
the family talk plan.
It's called "all talk."
You get 400 anytime minutes
which you can use anytime.
There's another one called
"even more family."
And that is
400 anytime minutes
unlimited nights and weekends.
That sounds great.
We'll do that.
There's more options.
Can I... there's, uh,
"even mo family unlimited"
which is unlimited minutes
and texting plus web.
Okay, so, one doesn't
have texting...
The other doesn't have web.
We'll just get one
that has everything.
Okay, well then you want
"the simply everything" plan.
Okay.
Great.
Um, there's also
"simply everything plus."
Which is what?
Simply everything
plus texting.
What we want is
your most standard,
basic, family plan
with a satellite locator.
"This changes everything"
plan is what you want then.
Yes, that'd be great.
We would like to sign up
for that plan.
We are ready to do that.
Awesome, all right.
Let me run through
a couple for plans we have.
We have the "strive plan,
"the go getter plan,
"the free and clear plan."
Didn't we already sign up
for a plan?
Why is this a new plan?
Time is of the essence.
This is the mayor of Portland.
He could be
lying in a ditch somewhere.
He might have been kidnapped.
Right on...
Um, do you guys want
the data pro or the data plus.
What do most people get?
It's about 50-50 split
on that one.
What's the last one you did?
The last transaction.
Did they do plus or data pro?
Actually, that information
is confidential...
But I have their phone number
so I'm gonna call 'em
right now.
No, I don't care.
The pro.
Pro... we want pro.
Great news!
You can add another line
for $5 a month.
Yes.
You guys wanna
add another line for $5?
I would love that... yes.
Great, so you guys
are all set.
That is the plan, simply
every thing, every thing,
uh, shared anytime minutes
plus roll over.
Okay, now we pick
your besties list which is
five people which you can call
even if they're outside
your network.
I don't know.
No, it's you, me, and
the mayor.
You get five.
We'll pick
the other two later.
We'll do it online.
I didn't get your names yet.
What are your names?
Fred and Carrie.
All right, so I'll put him
on your list, too?
What's your name again?
I'm sorry.
Fred.
So now we just have to
chose the phone.
Our most popular models
right now are
the vitrio charismo.
That's the one we want.
Epiphany, torque,
dazzle, create...
it's the first one
you said.
I actually want the torque.
Good choice.
Carrie?
All right.
Now our most popular colors
for those are bubble gum,
metallic bubble gum.
Great.
Metallic pumpkin.
And pumpkin.
What's the difference?
Carrie...
this is an emergency.
Any color is fine.
Two pumpkin phones.
One vitrio one torque.
Thank you.
Great, okay.
So you're all set.
You're all signed up.
Now there is a nominal fee
if you wanna keep your
current phone number.
Yeah, I thought that was
a free service.
After you pay for it,
it is free, so...
Okay.
It's just a one time fee
that you pay annually.
It's not a one time fee
but...
it is one time in that
you only pay one time a year.
Great.
That's not one time.
I know, let's just...
All right great,
you guys are ready
to pick out your sunglasses.
What sunglasses?
We do have a promotion
right now where you get
a pair of free wild side
sunglasses.
They help you bring out
your wild side.
No, we'll pass, thank you.
Let's just get
the "bitch" one.
You want the pink one
that says "bitch" on it.
Okay...
You don't have to say it.
All right, great.
Thank you.
So what'd you guys come in
for again?
We wanna find our bestie,
our friend on the map.
The mayor.
Right, the mayor.
Let me type in
the mayor's number.
Wow... so cool.
Oh, my God... there he is.
He's in northwest.
Got it.
You know how to get there?
Yes.
Okay... thank you.
Sir, thanks.
Thank you.
Hey, sunflowers.
It's my birthday.
Hello, tree.
Hi, street lamp.
How you doing?
Puppy... woof-woof!
It's my birthday!
I made a home-made quesadilla.
We are so lucky to live here.
Where the
Is everyone?
Hey, lady, watch out,
watch out, watch out,
watch out, watch out!
Move, move, move, move,
move-move-move!
No-no-no-no-no-no-no!
Yay.
God, that took us
forever!
What is this place?
Wait, there he is.
Oh, Mr. mayor.
Hi.
Mr. mayor.
Everyone's looking for you.
The whole city.
Fred.
That's not the mayor.
Take the glasses off, bitch.
Oh, sorry, sir.
Oh, here.
Mr. mayor?
Carrie.
Sorry, ma'am.
Must have left already
or something.
Yeah.
Uh, can I get
a milkshake, please?
Fred.
No way.
That's the mayor.
He's playing bass.
He's in a reggae band.
I feel a little weird
saying this,
but I like this.
I-I love this.
And he's not like,
trying to, like overshadow
the rest of the band.
He's like laying it down.
No, he's laying back.
Like a good bass player
kinda lays back a little bit.
Except for like minute man
and those bands where like
they play high on the neck.
You sound good.
We've been looking for you.
We like how you play.
Uh, how's that
milkshake coming, friend?
Not too cold on that, right?
Where's the stage?
Julia.
Oh, hi, Mr. kraggen.
Uh, just call me kraggen.
Welcome.
Okay, kraggen.
Are you excited
for your first day?
I am.
You ready to make some ads
and commercials?
Yeah.
Yeah, we are, to.
I was telling my colleague
about you and literally
without skipping a beat
he was like,
through the roof,
flipping out.
Wow, that's so...
like, he couldn't stop
gushing about you.
Hey, um, we've got a meeting
in like five minutes.
This meeting is huge!
Okay, wait,
but how do I get up there?
Kraggen?
Whoa!
Hey, nice catch.
We're ordering disks
for the whole office.
What's your size?
What size of disk?
Wait, what?
Julia... here.
Oh, hey!
Did you get turned around?
Yeah.
You need a GPS?
Uh, the meeting's like
in five minutes
in the basket.
Wait, what?
In the basket.
Oh, I don't know
what size I am for that.
In here.
What?
Let's go.
I mean, what are we doing?
Sign this here.
Surprise!
Oh, my gosh.
I guess this is for you.
Happy Birthday.
Thank you.
That means so much to me.
Hey, Happy Birthday.
I gotta go.
Thank you so much.
Who was that?
Ow, geez... what the?
Hey, we're mood showering.
We hit you with the ball
and you tell us the first thing
that comes to mind about
sportswear.
Ow!
Julia... Julia.
Hey, kraggen.
Our meeting's starting soon.
Come on up.
Okay... yeah.
Take the elevator.
Just come meet me.
Hey, I'm doing a video
for my blog.
What's your favorite burger?
Hey, how's it going?
Is it okay if I take
your photograph?
Julia, you better
get up here... come on.
Kraggen, I'm trying.
Uh, wait, uh, kraggen.
Kraggen.
Kraggen?
Julia.
Kraggen.
Hey.
Come play air guitar with us.
It's all good.
It's Tucker's birthday,
the party's about to start.
Happy Birthday.
Kraggen!
Julia.
Where's the basket?
Hey, you wanna break?
Kraggen!
Just...
I'll meet you over here.
You made it.
I did.
It took a while, huh?
Having too much fun?
Come on, this way.
Julia.
What?
I just wanted to tell you
that I did what you said.
Sorry?
I stayed cool.
Like you wrote on the card.
Oh, right... okay, yeah.
You came up with that.
Simple and so meaningful.
It's like remaining cool.
You're really good.
She's creative.
I know, I can tell.
Stay cool.
Yeah, you, too.
You already are.
Okay.
I'll stay cool, too.
Good luck with that.
She ribbing me,
by the way.
That's how we kid
with each other.
Uh, you're gonna need these.
What for?
You'll see.
Kraggen, what's happening?
It's gonna be okay.
Okay, so let's start
the meeting.
Julia, do you have any ideas
right off the bat?
I wanna thank you
for coming today...
On this cloudy,
Portland afternoon.
It's, um, been a difficult time
for my family and for me.
First and foremost, wanna say,
yes, I was playing bass
in a dubbed reggae band
called "king Desmond
"and the accelerators."
A reggae band?
Yes.
Floyd, Gerald,
Brian, Willy.
Reggae, that's a
dirty secret in some ways...
and he just he went ahead
and just came right out.
Yeah.
What part do you play,
Mr. mayor?
Do you play an instrument?
Are you a singer?
What do you do?
I sit in a as
a bass player.
What kind of bass
do you have?
I had a rickenbacker 4003
that was just killer.
Uh, but right now,
no, I'm playing a
classic Fender precision.
Those have a great
low end.
Unbelievable.
Who are your influences?
Jeez, I mean Augustus Pablo
for me is like,
he's king, you know.
Wow, he's into some
root stuff, huh?
I can't believe his wife
is so supportive.
Excuse me, Mr. mayor,
would you say this is
dance hall
or real roots reggae.
This is real roots reggae.
We don't mess around.
Cool.
Once you go dub,
you never go back.
You know what I'm saying?
Sir, with all due respect,
would you consider yourself
a skippa or rude boy?
Well, you know,
if you can open up your heart
and you can feel the sun
and you can feel the music
all is good
and all is forgiven.
I'm sorry wh-what?
It's a new lyric
that I've been working on
with the band and I've... uh,
and it's, um...
It's, uh.
That's me.
Sorry about that.
We'll wait.
Yes?
Great news right now.
No, I-I'm fine
with my wireless plan.
It-it-it's Johnny
from wireless toyz.
Why is he calling right now?
My besties?
Oh, she's right here.
Oh, the besties plan...
yeah.
Hey.
No, I'm fine with
my besties list.
Yeah, I wanna keep it
the same.
He got rid of the glasses.
Everyone was calling him
"bitch."
Don't call again.
Bye.
Sorry.
Okay.
On you go.
Two of the...
my favorite people
over there.
Uh, anyway, where was I?
But if you do leave
the country you will have to
sign up for our geo plan.
Can we do that online
afterwards?
Well, if you do
change your mind later
then you have to sign
a new two year contract.
So six months from now
you decide...
Oh, I wanna also
get the geo plan
'cause I'm going to...
Let's say luxemburg,
or something, then,
it would be another two years
from that, that you
would have the plan.
We just want any plan
that is above the nothing plan.
There is no nothing plan.
Nothing plan is what you guys
had when you were outside.
Okay, you know
what she means.
Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com
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