1 00:00:02,327 --> 00:00:04,528 Come on, boy. Let's go for a walk. 2 00:00:04,562 --> 00:00:06,394 Hey, Melanie. 3 00:00:06,428 --> 00:00:09,028 - Hey, Jason. I didn't know you were back in L.A. - Yeah. 4 00:00:09,062 --> 00:00:11,895 You won't believe what I saw on my trip. 5 00:00:11,962 --> 00:00:15,910 ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ 6 00:00:15,944 --> 00:00:16,980 Let me guess-- in Portland. 7 00:00:17,015 --> 00:00:19,549 Yeah, but-- Here, follow me. 8 00:00:19,583 --> 00:00:22,952 You remember the '90s when everyone was pickling their own vegetables 9 00:00:22,987 --> 00:00:24,555 and brewing their own beer? 10 00:00:24,589 --> 00:00:26,859 People were growing out their mutton chops 11 00:00:26,893 --> 00:00:28,929 and waxing their handlebar mustaches? 12 00:00:28,964 --> 00:00:31,367 - The '90s? - Yeah. 13 00:00:31,401 --> 00:00:33,405 Everyone was knitting and sewing clothes for their children. 14 00:00:33,439 --> 00:00:35,375 People were wearing glasses all the time, 15 00:00:35,409 --> 00:00:38,279 - like contact lenses had never been invented. - Wait. 16 00:00:38,313 --> 00:00:41,483 Are we talking about the 1990s? 17 00:00:41,517 --> 00:00:43,621 No. 18 00:00:43,655 --> 00:00:46,358 The 1890s. 19 00:00:47,292 --> 00:00:53,332 ♪ The dream of the '90s is alive in Portland ♪ 20 00:00:55,269 --> 00:01:01,745 ♪ It's the dream of the 1890s in Portland ♪ 21 00:01:01,779 --> 00:01:04,616 ♪ Microbrew or die ♪ 22 00:01:04,650 --> 00:01:07,488 Remember when kids grew up to be artisan bakers? 23 00:01:07,522 --> 00:01:10,691 Everyone had homemade haircuts and guys shaved with straight razors. 24 00:01:10,726 --> 00:01:13,628 I mean, I don't remember. I wasn't born, but, yeah, I've read about it. 25 00:01:13,662 --> 00:01:17,598 Belts didn't really exist yet. Everyone wore suspenders. 26 00:01:17,632 --> 00:01:19,399 Everyone used to carve their own ice cubes. 27 00:01:19,434 --> 00:01:22,736 - I thought that died out 120 years ago. - Not in Portland. 28 00:01:22,770 --> 00:01:27,941 ♪ It's the dream of the 1890s in Portland ♪ 29 00:01:27,975 --> 00:01:31,344 ♪ My mustache curls up nice ♪ 30 00:01:31,378 --> 00:01:34,581 Remember in the 1890s when the economy was in a tailspin? 31 00:01:34,615 --> 00:01:37,451 Unwashed young men roamed the streets looking for work. 32 00:01:37,486 --> 00:01:40,222 And people turned their backs on huge corporate monopolies 33 00:01:40,256 --> 00:01:42,491 and supported local businesses? 34 00:01:42,525 --> 00:01:45,461 I thought we had to support corporations. I thought they were too big to fail. 35 00:01:45,496 --> 00:01:49,499 Well, in Portland, people raise their own chickens and cure their own meats. 36 00:01:49,533 --> 00:01:55,873 ♪ The turn of the century is alive in Portland ♪ 37 00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:58,510 ♪ Welcome to the sausage party ♪ 38 00:01:58,544 --> 00:02:03,548 ♪ The skinniest strongman is alive in Portland ♪ 39 00:02:06,519 --> 00:02:10,088 So from what you're saying, it's like President McKinley was never assassinated. 40 00:02:10,122 --> 00:02:12,023 - It's as if the 20th century never happened. - Exactly. 41 00:02:12,057 --> 00:02:15,560 People took street cars, they rode inconvenient gearless bicycles 42 00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:16,895 - that hurt your back. - Yeah. 43 00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:20,499 ♪ It's a long way back ♪ 44 00:02:20,533 --> 00:02:24,804 ♪ And this modern world's gone off the track ♪ 45 00:02:27,074 --> 00:02:32,412 ♪ But you can escape it all in Portland ♪ 46 00:02:34,749 --> 00:02:39,587 ♪ A dandy hobo has a home in Portland ♪ 47 00:02:43,293 --> 00:02:49,364 ♪ It's the dream of the 1890s in Portland ♪ 48 00:02:52,035 --> 00:02:54,102 - Hey. - Hi. What are you doing? 49 00:02:54,137 --> 00:02:56,605 - The Charleston. - Stop for a sec. 50 00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:59,876 It's the right idea, but you're kind of maybe a little too 1920s. 51 00:02:59,910 --> 00:03:02,012 - Oh. - Do this. 52 00:03:02,046 --> 00:03:04,882 There you go. Get one of these... 53 00:03:06,485 --> 00:03:08,553 - Much better. Welcome to Portland. - Thank you. 54 00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:15,728 ♪ It's the dream of the 1890s in Portland ♪ 55 00:03:52,778 --> 00:03:56,456 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 56 00:04:01,948 --> 00:04:03,215 Thank you, everyone. 57 00:04:03,250 --> 00:04:05,084 Welcome to our performance today. 58 00:04:05,118 --> 00:04:09,422 May I request that you reach into your pockets and purses, 59 00:04:09,456 --> 00:04:11,958 deactivate all of your cell phones... 60 00:04:13,593 --> 00:04:15,794 ...and any communication devices you may have? 61 00:04:15,829 --> 00:04:18,564 Now, we request that you cheer, holler, 62 00:04:18,598 --> 00:04:21,967 give us any accolades that you may desire-- 63 00:04:27,274 --> 00:04:28,975 Movie's starting. Come on, man. 64 00:04:29,009 --> 00:04:31,744 Turn down your siren. 65 00:04:33,780 --> 00:04:37,216 Well, there it is. I'm sure you saw it. We've got a problem. 66 00:04:37,250 --> 00:04:40,986 Oh, yeah. "Best PDX hiking spots." 67 00:04:41,020 --> 00:04:43,088 Actually, that part. 68 00:04:43,122 --> 00:04:44,989 We've got a real P.R. problem right now. 69 00:04:45,023 --> 00:04:48,593 People are just not liking the cops in this city at all. 70 00:04:48,627 --> 00:04:51,295 It started with this event that they disrupted. 71 00:04:51,329 --> 00:04:54,498 Oh, yeah. "The best PDX hiking spots." 72 00:04:54,532 --> 00:04:56,966 No. No, this-- Fred, the big one. 73 00:04:57,001 --> 00:04:59,302 So we need to consider 74 00:04:59,337 --> 00:05:01,671 a kinder, gentler police force, I think. 75 00:05:01,706 --> 00:05:04,040 Because that looks-- As soon as you see a cop car... 76 00:05:04,074 --> 00:05:06,008 You get scared, and you want to run. 77 00:05:06,042 --> 00:05:08,877 Seems like we need to kind of rebrand the Portland police force. 78 00:05:08,912 --> 00:05:11,613 Even just to change cops, like cops with a "k." 79 00:05:11,648 --> 00:05:13,782 - You could do, like, Keystone Kops. - Yeah. 80 00:05:13,817 --> 00:05:17,754 That was, like, the comedy team from the silent era of films. 81 00:05:17,788 --> 00:05:21,591 Things that spill on them. Like, a lot of hat switching. 82 00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:23,627 - They all try to get inside a phone booth. - Yeah. 83 00:05:23,661 --> 00:05:27,131 Or, like, a lot of knocking. You know, like... 84 00:05:27,165 --> 00:05:31,169 You know, and like... that kind of thing. 85 00:05:31,203 --> 00:05:35,239 Sam. Sam, we're thinking maybe Keystone Kops. 86 00:05:35,273 --> 00:05:37,842 - You know Keystone Kops? - Yeah. 87 00:05:37,876 --> 00:05:39,910 - He loves it. - You know... 88 00:05:39,945 --> 00:05:42,846 There is something about just the way they look that we could change. 89 00:05:42,881 --> 00:05:46,316 I mean, what if we just redesigned the uniforms? 90 00:05:46,350 --> 00:05:48,218 - That's a good idea. - Is that a hassle? 91 00:05:48,252 --> 00:05:49,920 - Change the uniforms. - There you go. 92 00:05:49,954 --> 00:05:52,288 That's a great idea. I like this idea. I like this idea. 93 00:05:52,323 --> 00:05:56,192 Sam, we're gonna redesign the cop uniforms. That's it. 94 00:05:56,226 --> 00:05:59,129 - Nice decision-making. - Hey. 95 00:05:59,163 --> 00:06:01,665 Wonderful help. Who's designing it? 96 00:06:01,699 --> 00:06:03,567 - You guys are. - I would do that. 97 00:06:03,601 --> 00:06:05,202 - I would totally do that. - Keep working. 98 00:06:05,237 --> 00:06:06,871 I'm gonna talk to the police chief-- Lester. 99 00:06:06,905 --> 00:06:09,107 - He's gonna love this. - Great. 100 00:06:09,141 --> 00:06:11,076 Then... what looks cool? 101 00:06:11,110 --> 00:06:12,210 I like shoulder pads. 102 00:06:12,245 --> 00:06:16,215 Oh, that's good. Yeah. 103 00:06:22,154 --> 00:06:23,922 Oh, Doug, listen to this. 104 00:06:23,956 --> 00:06:26,758 "Zero-packaging grocery store to opeon Division." 105 00:06:26,792 --> 00:06:28,192 Zero packaging. What is that? 106 00:06:28,227 --> 00:06:30,828 Literally, the food is available in bulk. 107 00:06:30,863 --> 00:06:33,731 It's out in the open. No packaging. It's in bins. 108 00:06:33,765 --> 00:06:36,400 I guess they think it's ecologically sound, 109 00:06:36,435 --> 00:06:40,104 and then there's gonna be no waste, but what about the rats? 110 00:06:41,173 --> 00:06:43,174 Huh. 111 00:06:43,208 --> 00:06:44,175 ♪ Zero-packaging foods ♪ 112 00:06:44,210 --> 00:06:46,278 - Gimme five. - Oh, yeah. 113 00:06:46,312 --> 00:06:48,814 ♪ We're gonna eat all night ♪ 114 00:06:48,848 --> 00:06:51,718 Packaging is the only thing that keep humans separate from animals. 115 00:06:51,752 --> 00:06:54,054 - This place is made for rats. - Marketed to rats. 116 00:06:54,088 --> 00:06:56,456 - Yeah. - Wait, guys. Everyone's gonna find out about this. 117 00:06:56,491 --> 00:06:58,959 We can help that. We don't have to tell anyone. 118 00:06:58,993 --> 00:07:00,727 We have to really not tell anybody. 119 00:07:00,762 --> 00:07:03,397 I think our biggest threat is a raccoon and a possum. 120 00:07:03,431 --> 00:07:05,199 'Cause they're big. I'm not afraid of mice. 121 00:07:05,233 --> 00:07:07,734 - I'll say right now, I don't care about mice. - Please. 122 00:07:07,769 --> 00:07:12,171 Mice. I'll look at a mice in the face--a mouse in the face and just go, like, "What? 123 00:07:12,206 --> 00:07:14,107 - Yes?" - They're pets. 124 00:07:14,141 --> 00:07:16,075 I saw one the other day. 125 00:07:16,110 --> 00:07:18,411 I couldn't even tell if he was making fun of me or just being annoying. 126 00:07:19,947 --> 00:07:22,014 I'm, like-- I just did it back to him. 127 00:07:22,049 --> 00:07:25,218 And he got scared of that. 128 00:07:25,252 --> 00:07:26,886 Yeah, enjoy your cheese. 129 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:30,890 The cheese thing is like... I mean... I think we go for it. 130 00:07:30,924 --> 00:07:32,992 You should call. 131 00:07:33,026 --> 00:07:35,261 - Hi. Earth Lands. - Hi. I'm a person. 132 00:07:35,295 --> 00:07:39,432 I live up on Main Street. Well, heck, me and the gang, we're gonna come down 133 00:07:39,466 --> 00:07:42,968 and come to the grocery store, the zero-packaging grocery-- 134 00:07:43,002 --> 00:07:45,303 - So that's not a joke, huh? - No, it's not a joke. 135 00:07:45,337 --> 00:07:47,205 This is a regular store with zero packaging. 136 00:07:47,239 --> 00:07:50,641 - What's the rat poison situation? - Sir, this a brand-new store. 137 00:07:50,675 --> 00:07:53,910 - We do not use rat poisons. - Yes. 138 00:07:53,945 --> 00:07:56,179 ♪ I'd like to eat something ♪ 139 00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:59,015 Sorry. I'm looking at this tie my wife bought me. 140 00:07:59,050 --> 00:08:02,186 Do you have any little holes and ways 141 00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:04,155 to get into the store? 142 00:08:04,189 --> 00:08:06,825 There is a vent that blows out hot air. 143 00:08:06,859 --> 00:08:10,696 Thank you very much. Yes. How awesome. 144 00:08:14,334 --> 00:08:16,802 I think we need to come up with a specific plan. 145 00:08:16,836 --> 00:08:22,408 Ok, we're gonna go in. We forage and gather and we gorge later. 146 00:08:22,442 --> 00:08:24,744 Look, I'll just say this. 147 00:08:24,778 --> 00:08:28,348 Everywhere we've gone, we've planned on carrying things and storing for the winter 148 00:08:28,382 --> 00:08:31,084 and putting it in this hole and leaving it for later. 149 00:08:31,118 --> 00:08:33,386 - We never do it. - Yeah, we're not squirrels. 150 00:08:33,420 --> 00:08:36,456 Even when I'll promise, like, "Hey, guys, this time, let's try to save 151 00:08:36,490 --> 00:08:38,759 so we don't have to do this every time," as soon as we get there, 152 00:08:38,793 --> 00:08:40,828 we freak out, we jump all over each other. 153 00:08:40,863 --> 00:08:42,630 We're eating chocolate bars... 154 00:08:42,665 --> 00:08:46,368 I mean, let's just enjoy it for what it is and just eat. 155 00:08:46,402 --> 00:08:48,871 Ok, but we need to finalize the plan. John's gonna go to the left. 156 00:08:48,905 --> 00:08:53,677 You're gonna go over to the yogurt pretzels. You're gonna start there. 157 00:08:53,711 --> 00:08:56,580 Unpackaged foods! 158 00:08:56,615 --> 00:08:58,182 There he goes. 159 00:08:58,217 --> 00:08:59,950 - I don't trust him. - Nope. Oh, my god. 160 00:08:59,985 --> 00:09:02,554 - A light just came on. - Oh, no. 161 00:09:02,588 --> 00:09:04,589 Ok, here comes the broom. Oh, he's not gonna make it. 162 00:09:04,623 --> 00:09:07,359 Uch, there he goes. Swept out the door. 163 00:09:07,394 --> 00:09:09,896 - Could've been worse. - You want to go home? 164 00:09:09,930 --> 00:09:13,699 Oh, man, that was insane. 165 00:09:13,734 --> 00:09:16,001 That was insane. 166 00:09:16,036 --> 00:09:18,904 You can't control yourselves, huh? Typical rats. 167 00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:26,854 Welcome, guys. Thank you so much for coming to the PTA meeting. 168 00:09:26,896 --> 00:09:30,265 Next Friday, don't forget, is the canned food drive. 169 00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:32,834 I want to bring something up really quick. Uh... 170 00:09:32,869 --> 00:09:35,971 Sorry to interrupt, but I'm also not sorry to interrupt. Uh... 171 00:09:36,005 --> 00:09:41,176 I don't know if you guys are aware, but there is music here in this library 172 00:09:41,210 --> 00:09:43,244 available to our kids 173 00:09:43,279 --> 00:09:46,181 that is something that leaves a lot to be desired. 174 00:09:46,215 --> 00:09:47,749 It is just outrageous. 175 00:09:47,783 --> 00:09:49,951 Yeah, thank you. I think what Brendan is saying-- 176 00:09:49,985 --> 00:09:53,788 and good job, honey-- is that there are specific albums 177 00:09:53,822 --> 00:09:56,423 that absolutely should be banned from this preschool 178 00:09:56,458 --> 00:10:00,795 like Mike and the Mechanics, which, in my opinion, is a horrible album 179 00:10:00,829 --> 00:10:03,198 and one that we do not want our child listening to. 180 00:10:03,232 --> 00:10:06,134 I'm sorry. I'd just like... chime in here, but, um, 181 00:10:06,168 --> 00:10:08,102 you're really overstepping your bounds here, ok? 182 00:10:08,136 --> 00:10:10,937 I don't want to cause a rift, but "The Living Years." 183 00:10:10,972 --> 00:10:13,273 That was a single by Mike and the Mechanics 184 00:10:13,307 --> 00:10:15,475 It's a great song. It's a prime example of mid-'80s pop. 185 00:10:15,509 --> 00:10:20,345 - What that is is a gateway to other mediocre pop music. - Yeah. 186 00:10:20,379 --> 00:10:22,414 "The Living Years"-- that song is poetry. 187 00:10:22,448 --> 00:10:25,082 Don't you want your child to be sensitive? 188 00:10:25,117 --> 00:10:28,185 It's poetry in the same way "The Greatest Love Of All" by Whitney Houston is poetry. 189 00:10:28,220 --> 00:10:30,721 It is pabulum. It is juvenile. 190 00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:34,225 They're accomplished musicians and really kind of honed their craft in the mid-'80s. 191 00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:35,859 What does musicianship matter? 192 00:10:35,894 --> 00:10:38,062 For the Sex Pistols, with the Ramones, with The Clash-- 193 00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:41,331 was that about musicianship? No, it was about fury. 194 00:10:41,366 --> 00:10:43,567 - I like The Clash. - I'm sure you do. 195 00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:45,836 "Rock the Casbah." You know, the classics. 196 00:10:45,870 --> 00:10:49,473 - There's earlier stuff. You know that, right? - I do. I know. 197 00:10:49,508 --> 00:10:51,142 "Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?" 198 00:10:51,176 --> 00:10:53,912 Classic. It was the first one. 199 00:10:53,946 --> 00:10:55,147 It's the same album. That's "Combat Rock." 200 00:10:55,181 --> 00:10:57,816 - Everyone knows that. - Yeah. 201 00:10:57,851 --> 00:11:00,286 She probably likes "Rock 'N' Roll High School" by the Ramones. 202 00:11:03,324 --> 00:11:05,191 - We all know that. - Let's be honest... 203 00:11:05,226 --> 00:11:07,293 we're not talking about our tastes in music. 204 00:11:07,327 --> 00:11:09,895 We're talking about what our kids love, what our kids are into. 205 00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:12,164 But our kids also don't really know what they like yet. 206 00:11:12,199 --> 00:11:16,201 Actually, they do, because they can pick and choose whatever they like-- 207 00:11:16,236 --> 00:11:18,870 - From your record collection. - Yes, ma'am. 208 00:11:18,905 --> 00:11:21,974 - You start small, like, with Harry Nilsson. - Yes. 209 00:11:22,008 --> 00:11:25,743 With some simplicity, and he knows what I'm talking about. 210 00:11:25,778 --> 00:11:28,379 Let's talk about Krautrock, Kraftwerk, Noi. 211 00:11:28,414 --> 00:11:31,182 - Why aren't we talking about Noi? - What is Krautrock? 212 00:11:31,217 --> 00:11:33,284 - I'm sorry. - You don't know Noi? 213 00:11:33,319 --> 00:11:36,454 I am getting very stressed out that the head of our school 214 00:11:36,489 --> 00:11:38,590 does not know about about Noi. 215 00:11:38,624 --> 00:11:40,893 These are the people teaching our kids. 216 00:11:40,927 --> 00:11:44,096 Our kids are sponges, and when they leave here, 217 00:11:44,131 --> 00:11:49,936 what they listen to now will affect them the rest of their lives. 218 00:11:53,741 --> 00:11:56,443 Hey, is this where we're donating records? 219 00:11:56,478 --> 00:11:58,012 Yes, it is. Come on in. 220 00:11:58,047 --> 00:11:59,914 I've got-- Oh, god, what do I got for you? 221 00:11:59,948 --> 00:12:03,451 Talk Talk, the "Back to the Future" soundtrack, 222 00:12:03,486 --> 00:12:06,821 um, I've got Temple of the Dog, um... 223 00:12:06,855 --> 00:12:09,123 - I don't want my kids stealing bread. - No? 224 00:12:09,158 --> 00:12:11,292 Uh, no. We're good. Thank you very much. 225 00:12:11,327 --> 00:12:13,461 That's so nice of you. Thank you for donating. 226 00:12:13,495 --> 00:12:15,629 - Thank you. Some other time. - All right. 227 00:12:15,664 --> 00:12:18,933 - Thank you. - Love those unanimous votes. Fantastic. 228 00:12:18,967 --> 00:12:22,470 Ok, so next week is Gender Swap Day. 229 00:12:26,241 --> 00:12:31,445 Uh, Chief Wiley, thank you so much for having us and for your time. 230 00:12:31,479 --> 00:12:33,247 We've been talking to the mayor 231 00:12:33,281 --> 00:12:35,916 about all the public relations problems and-- 232 00:12:35,950 --> 00:12:38,651 We understand that we've come to a time in Portland 233 00:12:38,685 --> 00:12:41,087 where people consider police officers a little bit of a nuisance. 234 00:12:41,121 --> 00:12:43,623 - We don't think that-- - We don't think that. 235 00:12:43,657 --> 00:12:46,159 We've gone ahead and redesigned the police uniforms 236 00:12:46,193 --> 00:12:48,595 in an attempt to get people 237 00:12:48,629 --> 00:12:50,697 to think of the police in a new way. 238 00:12:50,731 --> 00:12:54,801 The people who work in this department love their uniforms. 239 00:12:54,836 --> 00:12:57,871 True, but still, this softens it up a little bit 240 00:12:57,905 --> 00:13:01,075 so that we're happy, the public is happy, and you guys are happy, 241 00:13:01,109 --> 00:13:04,311 because then there's no intimidation. You can go-- 242 00:13:04,345 --> 00:13:06,046 We'll show you. I think you're gonna really love it. 243 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,248 - Please, just take a look. - Ok. 244 00:13:08,283 --> 00:13:09,383 Tom. 245 00:13:12,454 --> 00:13:14,989 Inspired by Portland's spectorate culture, 246 00:13:15,024 --> 00:13:16,891 this plain-clothes look says, "Hey, we can hang out at a coffee shop, 247 00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:19,661 or if you do something bad, you can hang out in jail." 248 00:13:19,695 --> 00:13:21,630 The t-shirt simply says "PPD." 249 00:13:21,664 --> 00:13:24,132 Some people know it as the Portland Police Department, 250 00:13:24,166 --> 00:13:26,001 and we've also heard it as... 251 00:13:26,035 --> 00:13:29,070 Please, please, damn it. 252 00:13:29,104 --> 00:13:32,640 Up next, we have Felicia. 253 00:13:32,675 --> 00:13:35,143 There's not many places to put the gun, 254 00:13:35,177 --> 00:13:39,013 but she won't need to carry a gun 'cause she can arrest with those looks. 255 00:13:39,048 --> 00:13:43,018 Hands up? I don't think so. It's hands down the best. 256 00:13:45,588 --> 00:13:48,523 Last but not least, we have Annie. 257 00:13:51,827 --> 00:13:54,062 Badges? We do need some stinkin' badges. 258 00:13:54,096 --> 00:13:56,630 These clothes will get you arrested and are arresting, 259 00:13:56,665 --> 00:13:59,399 and that concludes the Portland cop uniform redesign. 260 00:13:59,434 --> 00:14:02,068 Thank you, Annie, Felicia, Skye, Tom. 261 00:14:02,103 --> 00:14:04,070 Guys, come out here. Yeah. 262 00:14:04,104 --> 00:14:06,072 Whoo. 263 00:14:06,107 --> 00:14:07,674 Great job. Who's this? 264 00:14:07,709 --> 00:14:09,610 It might be the mayor in his new mayor cape. 265 00:14:09,645 --> 00:14:13,648 What do you think, huh? What do you think? Hmm-mm. 266 00:14:13,683 --> 00:14:18,721 Well, that was thrilling. I have an idea. 267 00:14:18,755 --> 00:14:25,295 Starting here, starting now, why don't you police this town? 268 00:14:25,330 --> 00:14:29,165 Take your little outfits, go out and catch some bad guys 269 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:32,002 looking like a damned idiot. 270 00:14:32,036 --> 00:14:33,369 Ok. 271 00:14:33,404 --> 00:14:34,938 All right, well, you heard the man. 272 00:14:34,972 --> 00:14:36,973 - He said you police the town. - How hard can it be? 273 00:14:37,007 --> 00:14:39,742 What do you do, you just go around and go, "Hey, what's going on here?" 274 00:14:39,776 --> 00:14:41,210 - You've got it. - Is there a problem here? 275 00:14:41,244 --> 00:14:43,813 - Is there a problem here? - Let's get to work. 276 00:14:43,847 --> 00:14:44,923 Reporting for duty. 277 00:14:45,012 --> 00:14:46,272 Let's hit the streets. 278 00:14:46,734 --> 00:14:48,760 You heard something and you saw what you wanted to see. 279 00:14:48,853 --> 00:14:50,874 It's the dark, it plays tricks on people. 280 00:14:55,472 --> 00:14:57,273 ♪ Three blind mice ♪ 281 00:14:57,307 --> 00:14:59,976 Betsy, it sounds good. The guitar sounds really good. 282 00:15:00,010 --> 00:15:02,144 Hey, Betsy. You know Betsy? 283 00:15:02,179 --> 00:15:04,380 - Yeah. Hi. - How you doing? I've seen you around. I'm Lars. 284 00:15:04,414 --> 00:15:06,983 - Yeah. Lucy. We've met before. - Hi, Lucy. 285 00:15:07,017 --> 00:15:09,252 - How do you know Betsy? - Uh, from D.C. 286 00:15:09,286 --> 00:15:11,220 - Me too. - Oh, that's crazy. 287 00:15:11,955 --> 00:15:13,422 Yeah, I lived there for kind of a while. 288 00:15:13,457 --> 00:15:15,791 - Do you know Ian who runs the label? - Yes. 289 00:15:15,826 --> 00:15:18,094 He's got that other band now, but for a while, he had those other 2 huge bands. 290 00:15:18,128 --> 00:15:21,431 Yeah. So do you know the other Ian? He was in Nation of Ulysses. 291 00:15:21,465 --> 00:15:24,034 Yes. Do you know Dante? He had the restaurant for a while. 292 00:15:24,068 --> 00:15:26,470 And you know Zack? Moved to New York. Which Zack? 293 00:15:26,504 --> 00:15:28,339 - Barracus. - I was talking about Zack Sally. 294 00:15:28,373 --> 00:15:30,708 - Zack Sally I know very well. - I know Zack, too. We were very close. 295 00:15:30,742 --> 00:15:33,077 - Barracus. We spent a lot of time together. - We were engaged for a second. 296 00:15:33,111 --> 00:15:35,112 - Do you know his 2 friends? - Yeah. 297 00:15:35,147 --> 00:15:36,847 - We live together. - Yeah. 298 00:15:36,882 --> 00:15:38,249 You know Cathy... Yes. 299 00:15:38,283 --> 00:15:39,883 - Then you must know Christina. Kathleen. - Yes. 300 00:15:39,918 --> 00:15:43,153 - There's Kim Colletta. Kim Thompson. - Yes. 301 00:15:43,187 --> 00:15:47,223 Yes, yes, yes, yes. 302 00:15:47,258 --> 00:15:50,126 Ahem. Yes. 303 00:15:50,161 --> 00:15:53,197 - Do you know Brandy? - Brandy, what's going on? 304 00:15:53,231 --> 00:15:55,166 Jackson, of course. 305 00:15:55,201 --> 00:15:58,203 We know each other. 306 00:15:58,237 --> 00:16:00,239 Do you know that guy? 307 00:16:00,273 --> 00:16:02,275 Um... 308 00:16:13,287 --> 00:16:14,688 - Do you? - I kind of-- 309 00:16:14,722 --> 00:16:18,091 Hey, buddy. Martino. Martino. 310 00:16:18,125 --> 00:16:20,259 - Martin, maybe? - No. I think it's Miguel. 311 00:16:20,294 --> 00:16:23,195 - Hey. - Lonnie. Ernesto. 312 00:16:23,230 --> 00:16:25,264 - Clark. - Francois. 313 00:16:25,298 --> 00:16:28,233 - Greg. Gregory. - Steve. 314 00:16:30,170 --> 00:16:32,939 Yeah, I've never seen that guy before. 315 00:16:32,974 --> 00:16:34,908 I've seen him, but I don't know him. Do you know him? 316 00:16:34,942 --> 00:16:37,477 - I don't know him. I don't know him. - Do you know him? 317 00:16:37,512 --> 00:16:39,813 I don't know him at all. I don't know anyone that knows him. 318 00:16:39,847 --> 00:16:42,816 Just an unmarked grave. There's nothing sadder than an unmarked grave. 319 00:16:42,850 --> 00:16:45,285 - If he's dead. - I'm sure he's fine. 320 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:49,223 It's real sad. Just another John Doe. Anyway, good luck. 321 00:16:49,257 --> 00:16:51,424 - You know John Doe? - Yeah. 322 00:16:51,459 --> 00:16:54,761 - He was in a band with... - I know John Doe. 323 00:16:59,134 --> 00:17:00,400 Bad Art Good Walls. 324 00:17:00,435 --> 00:17:03,570 We provide art to coffee shops only. 325 00:17:03,604 --> 00:17:07,106 Oh, yes, it is very bad. I assure you. 326 00:17:07,141 --> 00:17:09,276 Mm-hmm. Ok. 327 00:17:09,310 --> 00:17:11,744 - Gigi. - Yeah, Phil. 328 00:17:11,779 --> 00:17:14,447 Got an order from a new coffee shop 329 00:17:14,481 --> 00:17:17,116 - opening up on Hawthorne. - Great. 330 00:17:17,151 --> 00:17:20,119 So they got about 500 square feet of space 331 00:17:20,154 --> 00:17:22,889 and needs those walls filled with some bad art, 332 00:17:22,923 --> 00:17:25,926 so let's see what we got. How about this? 333 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:28,028 - It's horrible. I love it. - Right. Really boring. 334 00:17:28,062 --> 00:17:30,364 - Can't even tell which side it goes on. - A blurry dog? 335 00:17:30,398 --> 00:17:32,833 That's pretty bad. The composition's no good. 336 00:17:32,867 --> 00:17:35,435 - I would say throw it on there. - All right. 337 00:17:35,470 --> 00:17:37,638 - Appreciate your honesty. - I have something. 338 00:17:37,672 --> 00:17:40,040 - What? - Looks like student photography. 339 00:17:40,075 --> 00:17:42,777 - That's horrible. - Black man sitting, looking? 340 00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:44,946 I want it in black and white. Oh... 341 00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:48,449 - There's the one. I thought we could do a double. - Yeah. 342 00:17:48,483 --> 00:17:50,518 - Brothers. Twins. - I like that. 343 00:17:50,552 --> 00:17:52,987 - I love this. - Oh, yeah. Construction? 344 00:17:53,021 --> 00:17:54,455 - I mean, that says... - Construction. 345 00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:56,190 I was thinking that exact same way. 346 00:17:56,225 --> 00:17:58,326 I was saying it, too, at the same time. 347 00:17:58,361 --> 00:18:01,262 Why don't we go crazy and have some forlorn red-headed women? 348 00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:03,899 - I think she's quite sad. - Is she inside or outside? 349 00:18:03,933 --> 00:18:06,001 She's both, so it's nighttime, 350 00:18:06,035 --> 00:18:08,236 - and they built a doorway. - Great. 351 00:18:08,271 --> 00:18:10,305 We should check with Sean. He came back from an art fair. 352 00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:12,941 - Hey, Sean. - Yeah. 353 00:18:12,976 --> 00:18:15,611 - We got a new coffee shop opening up. - Oh, great. 354 00:18:15,645 --> 00:18:17,913 I heard. I heard the whole thing. Heard you guys talking. 355 00:18:17,948 --> 00:18:20,483 - Great. Need some help? - Yeah. Mind coming over? 356 00:18:20,518 --> 00:18:23,520 Sure. You guys got a lot of bad stuff there, but you know what will make it worse? 357 00:18:23,554 --> 00:18:25,321 Music. 358 00:18:25,356 --> 00:18:27,189 This one's pretty bad. What is that, a guitar? 359 00:18:27,224 --> 00:18:29,859 - Sounds coming from the sun. - So not from the guitar? 360 00:18:29,894 --> 00:18:31,661 Nope. Let me think of what's in my stash. 361 00:18:31,695 --> 00:18:35,831 - Hold on one second. What about this one? - What is that? 362 00:18:35,866 --> 00:18:38,367 Well, it's a really bad painting of a man, 363 00:18:38,401 --> 00:18:40,969 but his head is a mug. 364 00:18:41,003 --> 00:18:43,104 Like humor in paintings. That's awful. 365 00:18:43,138 --> 00:18:44,539 - Yes or no? - Yes. 366 00:18:44,573 --> 00:18:46,006 It has many levels of bad. 367 00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:48,009 This the bathroom. Where's the bathroom? 368 00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:50,678 Espresso machine. Front door. Back wall. 369 00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:53,647 - Does this look like a wall to you? - I think we're good. 370 00:18:53,682 --> 00:18:57,385 I mean, maybe this is good like this. 371 00:18:57,420 --> 00:19:01,223 Hold on. Wonder... 372 00:19:01,257 --> 00:19:05,161 Barista is here. Red-haired lady's over here. 373 00:19:05,195 --> 00:19:08,397 Can I have blah-blah-blah? Turn around looking for my table, 374 00:19:08,431 --> 00:19:09,632 my friend is here, I'm waving. 375 00:19:09,666 --> 00:19:11,500 Just put it all down for a second. 376 00:19:11,534 --> 00:19:13,535 I feel like it's one of the worst collections 377 00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:15,070 we've put together in a long time. 378 00:19:15,104 --> 00:19:16,838 I agree. I think we're close. 379 00:19:16,873 --> 00:19:19,307 I don't think we've nailed it yet, guys. 380 00:19:19,341 --> 00:19:22,877 I think we're close, and I don't think we've nailed it yet, guys. 381 00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:26,114 - Did you just say that? - Yeah. 382 00:19:26,148 --> 00:19:28,582 You guys, I think we're pretty close, 383 00:19:28,617 --> 00:19:31,418 but we're just not-- we haven't nailed it. 384 00:19:31,453 --> 00:19:34,455 I want it to be good. 385 00:19:34,490 --> 00:19:36,925 - I want it to be bad. - Precisely. 386 00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:43,299 I know. Got it. Guess what came in the other day. 387 00:19:43,333 --> 00:19:45,435 Oh, wow. Wow. 388 00:19:45,469 --> 00:19:46,469 Is it Macy? 389 00:19:46,504 --> 00:19:49,439 - Macy Gray? - Macy Gray? 390 00:19:49,473 --> 00:19:51,508 Um, I think... 391 00:19:51,542 --> 00:19:54,010 I think it's the champion. 392 00:19:54,044 --> 00:19:56,145 - It's Muhammad Ali. - Really? 393 00:19:56,179 --> 00:19:59,482 This is what's gonna fit. This is it. 394 00:19:59,516 --> 00:20:01,583 That's it. 395 00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:06,487 Excuse me? I had a question. 396 00:20:06,522 --> 00:20:10,458 How much is that painting? You know, that one? 397 00:20:10,493 --> 00:20:13,428 Sherman Helmsley. 398 00:20:39,434 --> 00:20:44,238 Excusas, we're getting some complaints about the volume of your music. 399 00:20:44,272 --> 00:20:48,375 - Come again? - Portland police. Turn the music down. 400 00:20:48,409 --> 00:20:50,076 I'm the Burnside police. 401 00:20:50,110 --> 00:20:53,579 - Oh, do we have that? - No. He's being a wise guy. 402 00:20:53,614 --> 00:20:57,183 You know, we like music. We're fine with it. I like that volume. 403 00:20:57,217 --> 00:20:58,917 But there's-- 404 00:20:58,952 --> 00:21:01,319 - What do you got against skateboarders? - Nothing. 405 00:21:01,354 --> 00:21:04,089 - You guys need to learn how to approach people. - Thank you. 406 00:21:04,123 --> 00:21:05,991 We designed these. 407 00:21:06,025 --> 00:21:10,028 - Ok, you know what? - We were sick of the old uniforms. 408 00:21:10,063 --> 00:21:12,198 Can't believe what Portland police have turned into, man. 409 00:21:12,232 --> 00:21:14,267 We're sorry. Look, we're cool. 410 00:21:14,301 --> 00:21:17,337 - Just turn it down. We'll go home. - You don't look very cool. 411 00:21:17,371 --> 00:21:18,638 No--Really? I mean... 412 00:21:18,672 --> 00:21:22,376 - We are cool, actually. - Heads up, guys. 413 00:21:22,410 --> 00:21:24,611 Stick it! Aah! 414 00:21:24,645 --> 00:21:27,547 Ok, you know what? That was sick. 415 00:21:27,582 --> 00:21:29,216 Sick. Are you sure you're police 416 00:21:29,250 --> 00:21:31,485 or not, like, leading some marching band or something? 417 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:34,288 Oh, very funny. Just please turn it down. 418 00:21:34,322 --> 00:21:38,058 - You want me to turn down this music?! - Please. Thank you very much. 419 00:21:38,093 --> 00:21:40,160 What? Come on. Turn that down. 420 00:21:40,195 --> 00:21:43,296 Turn that down. Come on, buddy. 421 00:21:46,567 --> 00:21:50,169 Come on, man. Please? 422 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:56,910 We don't want any trouble. Please. 423 00:22:03,117 --> 00:22:04,951 - Hi. - Hey. 424 00:22:04,986 --> 00:22:07,520 Yeah, we'll go back to the regular uniforms. 425 00:22:07,555 --> 00:22:08,622 That'll be the best. 426 00:22:08,656 --> 00:22:11,424 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 427 00:22:11,459 --> 00:22:14,428 ♪ Three blind mice ♪ 428 00:22:14,462 --> 00:22:17,431 ♪ See how they run ♪ 429 00:22:17,465 --> 00:22:19,466 ♪ See how they run ♪ 430 00:22:19,500 --> 00:22:21,701 ♪ They all ran after the farmer's wife ♪ 431 00:22:21,735 --> 00:22:24,637 ♪ Who cuts off their tails with a carving knife ♪ 432 00:22:24,672 --> 00:22:27,490 ♪ Have you ever seen such a thing in your life ♪ 433 00:22:27,606 --> 00:22:30,241 ♪ The three blind mice ♪