1 00:00:00,030 --> 00:00:02,602 Pushing Daisies - Season 02 Episode 07 "Robbing Hood" 2 00:00:02,632 --> 00:00:05,350 Subtitle (720p CTU v.1.00): A²S Team --==All-about-Subs.fr==-- 3 00:00:05,911 --> 00:00:08,987 At this very moment at the Longborough school for boys, 4 00:00:09,216 --> 00:00:11,947 when it came to the currency of popularity, 5 00:00:11,977 --> 00:00:14,764 young Ned was poor but not the poorest. 6 00:00:14,985 --> 00:00:17,188 Eugene Mulchandani's thick accent 7 00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:21,038 and unfortunate family history of disproportionate jaw structure, 8 00:00:21,068 --> 00:00:24,100 made him both extremely difficult to understand 9 00:00:24,130 --> 00:00:26,476 and an easy mark for bullies. 10 00:00:26,594 --> 00:00:30,714 Young Ned knew that playing with Eugene meant losing his marbles, 11 00:00:30,921 --> 00:00:34,387 but he considered the sacrificed aggies, steelies and shooters 12 00:00:34,523 --> 00:00:36,186 an act of charity. 13 00:00:36,316 --> 00:00:39,984 For, aside from Ned, Eugene had only two other companions... 14 00:00:40,044 --> 00:00:44,005 Bilbo, his lethargic Indian python, and Ackbar, a bunny. 15 00:01:03,422 --> 00:01:06,134 Eugene was devastated when he learned that, 16 00:01:06,271 --> 00:01:08,850 upon attempting to eat Ackbar the bunny, 17 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:12,329 Bilbo the snake, choked, killing them both. 18 00:01:12,832 --> 00:01:15,488 Under the guise of burying Eugene's pets, 19 00:01:15,584 --> 00:01:18,533 young Ned resolved to perform another act of charity 20 00:01:18,572 --> 00:01:20,759 for his language-mangling friend. 21 00:01:21,519 --> 00:01:24,077 He knew that giving Eugene his friends back 22 00:01:24,107 --> 00:01:27,260 would require two innocent creatures to die... 23 00:01:32,624 --> 00:01:36,574 And a lie about how he found them both barely breathing 24 00:01:36,771 --> 00:01:38,521 when he went to bury them. 25 00:01:39,114 --> 00:01:41,952 But as long as the benefits outweighed the costs, 26 00:01:41,982 --> 00:01:46,117 he also believed an act of charity outweighed the consequences. 27 00:01:49,293 --> 00:01:52,910 20 years, 16 weeks, 4 days, and 9 hours later, 28 00:01:54,359 --> 00:01:56,709 the boy had grown into the pie maker, 29 00:01:57,806 --> 00:02:00,063 and the pie maker was, at this very moment... 30 00:02:02,259 --> 00:02:03,209 Troubled. 31 00:02:04,281 --> 00:02:06,680 - You're stress-baking. - Don't know what you're talking about. 32 00:02:06,740 --> 00:02:08,849 I'm talking about you've been up since before the sun, 33 00:02:08,951 --> 00:02:11,643 and there's a traffic jam of pies waiting to exit into the oven. 34 00:02:12,429 --> 00:02:13,645 You're worried. 35 00:02:13,748 --> 00:02:16,354 "Worried" would imply an urge toward action. 36 00:02:16,384 --> 00:02:18,025 "Troubled" seems more apt. 37 00:02:18,243 --> 00:02:20,032 About a certain man named Dwight 38 00:02:20,062 --> 00:02:22,738 who came asking questions about your dad and is now dating my aunt Vivian? 39 00:02:22,928 --> 00:02:24,610 Oh, you're stress-baking. 40 00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:27,303 If he's dating your aunt, he's going to see a picture of you, 41 00:02:27,333 --> 00:02:28,889 and if he doesn't have amnesia, 42 00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:31,246 he's going to recognize you, if he hasn't already. 43 00:02:31,638 --> 00:02:32,993 Why is he dating your aunt? 44 00:02:33,023 --> 00:02:35,611 Not to suggest that she's not datable and perfectly lovely, 45 00:02:35,641 --> 00:02:37,377 but it does seem more than coincidental. 46 00:02:37,479 --> 00:02:39,925 Does Vivian's nice-smelling new boy toy have something to do 47 00:02:39,955 --> 00:02:41,799 - with why you faked your death? - No. 48 00:02:41,859 --> 00:02:45,134 Because maybe he's been after you all along. Maybe he works for the IRS. 49 00:02:45,237 --> 00:02:47,868 If anyone can figure out whether you're dead, it's a tax man. 50 00:02:47,898 --> 00:02:49,880 Or maybe he thinks you really are dead, 51 00:02:49,910 --> 00:02:51,892 and he's one of those paranormal investigators. 52 00:02:51,952 --> 00:02:54,603 Maybe he's the old priest, and the young priest is coming. 53 00:02:54,663 --> 00:02:57,556 That would be a waste of religion because she's not... 54 00:02:57,586 --> 00:02:58,386 dead. 55 00:02:58,838 --> 00:03:00,734 I find myself urged to action. 56 00:03:00,950 --> 00:03:02,100 Yeah. Me too. 57 00:03:02,130 --> 00:03:05,099 Public records, criminal records... We've got to find out who Dwight is 58 00:03:05,129 --> 00:03:07,239 and if he's after more than your aunt's companionship. 59 00:03:08,219 --> 00:03:10,207 Counterintelligence via pie delivery... 60 00:03:10,237 --> 00:03:12,097 Like gossiping with a purpose. 61 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,505 My speciality. 62 00:03:16,831 --> 00:03:18,735 - It's pie time! - Olive! 63 00:03:19,005 --> 00:03:21,379 What a surprise! And with a pie... 64 00:03:21,987 --> 00:03:24,208 The second sweetest treat of my day. 65 00:03:24,442 --> 00:03:26,175 Something sweeter than a Pie Hole pie? 66 00:03:26,279 --> 00:03:29,959 The first was a surprise visit from a certain gentleman caller. 67 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:32,890 Oh, the lovely lady of the Hole. 68 00:03:33,253 --> 00:03:35,097 And with a special delivery to heel. 69 00:03:35,127 --> 00:03:38,020 Oh, no need to stand on my account. I'm just here doing my duty. 70 00:03:38,082 --> 00:03:40,016 No other reason I can speak of. 71 00:03:40,615 --> 00:03:42,976 And what type of duty are you in again? 72 00:03:43,006 --> 00:03:44,486 Clergy? Tax services? 73 00:03:44,546 --> 00:03:47,691 Dwight collects and appraises antiques, 74 00:03:48,086 --> 00:03:51,450 which I learned right after he told me he's dating my sister. 75 00:03:52,182 --> 00:03:55,209 Lily is naturally suspicious of new liaisons, 76 00:03:55,239 --> 00:03:57,974 but I felt compelled to come clean about our relationship. 77 00:03:58,004 --> 00:04:01,670 Sneaking around is for politicians in bathroom stalls. 78 00:04:01,730 --> 00:04:06,223 Not for a brisk and bucolic autumn-cum-winter afternoon on the park. 79 00:04:06,789 --> 00:04:07,639 Ladies. 80 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:12,920 Bye. 81 00:04:15,554 --> 00:04:16,604 Seems nice. 82 00:04:17,572 --> 00:04:20,222 I don't trust him further than I can spit. 83 00:04:20,474 --> 00:04:21,724 And I can spit. 84 00:04:24,004 --> 00:04:24,804 God... 85 00:04:25,371 --> 00:04:27,997 Look at the way he drapes himself all over her. 86 00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:32,186 Makes me want to stick a fork in my eye. 87 00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:33,619 I need a drink. 88 00:04:33,833 --> 00:04:36,683 - You're holding one. - I need a stronger one. 89 00:04:36,715 --> 00:04:37,589 And a fork. 90 00:04:37,619 --> 00:04:40,849 While Olive pondered one sister blinded by love 91 00:04:40,879 --> 00:04:42,434 and the other by distrust, 92 00:04:42,464 --> 00:04:45,759 Emerson Cod pondered the exorbitant amount of cash 93 00:04:45,789 --> 00:04:47,214 he'd just been given. 94 00:04:47,317 --> 00:04:49,800 I demand justice for the decedent, 95 00:04:50,091 --> 00:04:52,489 and I will not rest, settle, or adjourn... 96 00:04:52,696 --> 00:04:53,764 until I have it! 97 00:04:53,824 --> 00:04:56,274 Mind demanding it in your inside voice? 98 00:04:56,422 --> 00:04:57,224 I'm sorry. 99 00:04:57,508 --> 00:04:59,770 Years of litigation have made me a loud talker. 100 00:04:59,830 --> 00:05:02,765 What makes a dead man's lawyer so willing to shell out his own green 101 00:05:02,795 --> 00:05:03,982 over a client's death? 102 00:05:04,042 --> 00:05:05,529 I have a special practice. 103 00:05:05,559 --> 00:05:09,111 Gustav was my one client, and that client is now dead. 104 00:05:09,173 --> 00:05:10,469 Why you still hanging on? 105 00:05:10,499 --> 00:05:12,733 Looking for a few stray cash capillaries? 106 00:05:12,763 --> 00:05:15,271 Gustav was... he was more than a client. 107 00:05:15,301 --> 00:05:16,472 He was a... 108 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:20,288 He was a cantankerous bombast with a violent temper 109 00:05:20,318 --> 00:05:22,368 and a lust for power and wealth. 110 00:05:22,949 --> 00:05:25,925 In lawyer speak, I was in love with him. 111 00:05:27,325 --> 00:05:29,131 You talk to the police about your friend? 112 00:05:29,235 --> 00:05:31,914 The police station is run by a bunch of monkeys. 113 00:05:31,944 --> 00:05:33,762 You want the best, you pay the premium. 114 00:05:33,822 --> 00:05:35,429 Why ain't the family paying premium? 115 00:05:35,491 --> 00:05:38,592 His wife was his family, and she was the biggest leech of all. 116 00:05:38,622 --> 00:05:39,809 Always after his will. 117 00:05:39,871 --> 00:05:41,937 So you figure she got to the will through murder. 118 00:05:42,025 --> 00:05:43,775 Well, I never trusted her. 119 00:05:43,955 --> 00:05:45,814 I tried my best, as a lover... 120 00:05:45,844 --> 00:05:48,994 I mean, as a lawyer and a friend, to protect Gustav. 121 00:05:49,151 --> 00:05:52,781 She ruined his life. She's gonna ruin his legacy. 122 00:05:53,093 --> 00:05:55,367 I smell a big ol' "but" heading my direction. 123 00:05:55,827 --> 00:05:58,077 Gustav was robbed the night he died. 124 00:05:58,263 --> 00:06:00,359 I mean, it happens when you have a fortune like his. 125 00:06:00,433 --> 00:06:04,042 - What kind of fortune we talkin' about? - The kind built upon your tight balls. 126 00:06:05,992 --> 00:06:07,486 The facts were these... 127 00:06:07,516 --> 00:06:10,506 Gustav Hofer had lived the American dream. 128 00:06:10,568 --> 00:06:12,342 His mechanized yarn-baller 129 00:06:12,402 --> 00:06:15,526 not only gave a generation of frustrated grandmothers 130 00:06:15,556 --> 00:06:17,305 the means to make unwanted gifts, 131 00:06:17,365 --> 00:06:21,017 at the age of 19, it was the first of countless inventions 132 00:06:21,161 --> 00:06:24,646 that made Gustav Hofer his first of countless millions. 133 00:06:24,706 --> 00:06:27,482 Before Gustav Hofer could make one penny more, 134 00:06:27,542 --> 00:06:30,485 someone arranged for his permanent retirement. 135 00:06:36,906 --> 00:06:39,165 And the lawyer who was in love with him 136 00:06:39,195 --> 00:06:41,607 found his retired remains. 137 00:06:45,726 --> 00:06:47,544 He doesn't look like the richest man in town. 138 00:06:47,604 --> 00:06:49,087 They say he had the Midas touch. 139 00:06:49,147 --> 00:06:51,198 Do you ever stop to think you're like King Midas? 140 00:06:51,228 --> 00:06:54,843 Except substitute "life" for "gold" and, obviously, you don't have donkey ears. 141 00:06:54,903 --> 00:06:57,302 Midas was a miser like Scrooge, but hungrier. 142 00:06:57,332 --> 00:06:59,598 - I'm a philanthropist. - Just touch the sucker. 143 00:07:05,580 --> 00:07:08,106 We'd like to ask you a few questions, but we've only have a minute. 144 00:07:08,209 --> 00:07:09,552 I presume I'm dead. 145 00:07:09,582 --> 00:07:12,068 Let's get down to business. First, the matter of my will. 146 00:07:12,171 --> 00:07:14,863 - It's in your lawyer's... - Not that will. I have a new will. 147 00:07:15,010 --> 00:07:17,949 And you're gonna track it down for me, roger? 148 00:07:18,052 --> 00:07:20,367 - Roger. Now, if... - I like you, but you talk too much. 149 00:07:20,397 --> 00:07:22,448 The will is in my trophy room. 150 00:07:22,478 --> 00:07:24,372 Go to the biggest trophy. Center of the wall. 151 00:07:24,475 --> 00:07:26,666 Turn it clockwise. Say it back to me. 152 00:07:26,769 --> 00:07:29,419 - Who killed you? - Who are you? Who's he? 153 00:07:29,851 --> 00:07:31,421 Do you know who I am, Elmer? 154 00:07:31,894 --> 00:07:34,966 You about to be the first man ever be murdered twice. You want justice? 155 00:07:35,165 --> 00:07:39,634 I don't want my hard-earned money going where it doesn't belong. 156 00:07:39,664 --> 00:07:43,841 Your generation has never understood the value of a dollar. 157 00:07:43,871 --> 00:07:46,206 Trophy room, biggest trophy, turn clockwise. 158 00:07:46,236 --> 00:07:48,059 Smartest one of the bunch. 159 00:07:48,089 --> 00:07:51,149 I like your moxie, Sassafras. 160 00:07:51,252 --> 00:07:53,203 Find my will and make sure 161 00:07:53,233 --> 00:07:57,067 that no-good gold-digging wife of mine 162 00:07:57,097 --> 00:07:59,699 doesn't get one damn dime. Got it? 163 00:07:59,802 --> 00:08:02,744 - Who killed you? - The bellman did it. 164 00:08:10,644 --> 00:08:13,704 The private investigator, the pie maker and Chuck 165 00:08:13,734 --> 00:08:17,620 arrived at Gustav Hofer's mansion to question his recent widow 166 00:08:17,650 --> 00:08:21,108 and longtime porter regarding the inventor's death. 167 00:08:23,084 --> 00:08:26,634 All right, me and dead girl are gonna go chat up the bellman. 168 00:08:26,710 --> 00:08:29,173 You go find that trophy room and get ahold of that will. 169 00:08:29,203 --> 00:08:30,145 I can do that. 170 00:08:30,457 --> 00:08:33,096 That said, what's your take on Dwight dating Vivian? 171 00:08:33,126 --> 00:08:35,258 How long before he looks at a picture of Chuck and says, 172 00:08:35,288 --> 00:08:37,088 "Hey, there's that girl from the Pie Hole?" 173 00:08:37,118 --> 00:08:40,155 Come on. When I see an out-of-context picture of a nice-looking young girl, 174 00:08:40,217 --> 00:08:42,853 I don't say: "Ooh, there's that nice-looking young girl 175 00:08:42,883 --> 00:08:45,785 who served me cappuccino in that one restaurant". 176 00:08:46,439 --> 00:08:49,824 Oh, my gosh! This wallpaper... It's vintage Osborne & Little. 177 00:08:49,854 --> 00:08:52,120 You could buy a small island for what this must be worth. 178 00:08:52,150 --> 00:08:54,252 Cool. I never even noticed. 179 00:08:54,578 --> 00:08:56,921 Isn't that weird? I'm like the worst widow ever. 180 00:08:57,583 --> 00:08:59,799 - Elise. You must be the PIs. - Yes. 181 00:08:59,904 --> 00:09:01,968 Thank you so much for agreeing to help us. 182 00:09:02,439 --> 00:09:05,296 - Is there a restroom? - Down the hall, second left. 183 00:09:05,326 --> 00:09:07,741 We're very sorry for your loss. You must be devastated. 184 00:09:07,771 --> 00:09:09,030 Crushed. 185 00:09:09,060 --> 00:09:11,727 - Please, pop a squat. - Thank you. 186 00:09:11,788 --> 00:09:15,482 James-Andrew... that's the bellman you wanted to see, is on his way. 187 00:09:15,695 --> 00:09:18,860 I told him to bring some of those awesome champagne-juice drinks he makes. 188 00:09:18,923 --> 00:09:20,157 Mimosas? 189 00:09:20,522 --> 00:09:21,672 James-Andrew! 190 00:09:21,838 --> 00:09:24,137 They want mimosas instead! 191 00:09:24,303 --> 00:09:25,950 James-Andrew!! 192 00:09:28,394 --> 00:09:29,871 I'm sure he heard me. 193 00:09:30,813 --> 00:09:33,085 Well, this is a very nice... 194 00:09:33,793 --> 00:09:35,556 castle that you have, Mrs. Hofer. 195 00:09:35,586 --> 00:09:36,433 Thanks. 196 00:09:36,463 --> 00:09:39,255 It's a wreck right now, getting it all set up for the wake. 197 00:09:39,776 --> 00:09:41,573 You should totally come. 198 00:09:41,817 --> 00:09:46,306 Everybody who's anybody is gonna be here celebrating Gustav's death. 199 00:09:46,531 --> 00:09:47,764 You mean "life". 200 00:09:47,824 --> 00:09:49,141 Sure, whatever. 201 00:09:55,206 --> 00:09:56,392 Oh, no. 202 00:10:10,472 --> 00:10:13,096 Turn the largest trophy clockwise. 203 00:10:13,775 --> 00:10:14,666 Cheers. 204 00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:18,419 Cheers. That is the best champagne-juice drink I've ever had. 205 00:10:18,482 --> 00:10:20,004 I know, right? 206 00:10:20,067 --> 00:10:21,998 Mrs. Hofer said you wanted to see me. 207 00:10:22,028 --> 00:10:24,301 I assume it's not just for my mimosa. 208 00:10:24,363 --> 00:10:26,011 How does one become a bellman, anyway? 209 00:10:26,112 --> 00:10:28,349 Bellmen wear monkey suits and work in hotel lobbies. 210 00:10:28,379 --> 00:10:29,681 I am a porter. 211 00:10:29,743 --> 00:10:31,949 What exactly were you porting the night your boss 212 00:10:31,979 --> 00:10:33,768 had an encounter with his light fixture? 213 00:10:33,831 --> 00:10:36,248 I was at a key party. At least 15 people can vouch. 214 00:10:36,278 --> 00:10:39,607 James-Andrew is definitely not the killing type. 215 00:10:39,670 --> 00:10:42,127 Well, Mrs. Hofer, excuse me for being blunt, 216 00:10:42,157 --> 00:10:44,863 but you did stand to gain the most from your late husband's death. 217 00:10:44,925 --> 00:10:48,477 Oh, my god. You think I totally did it! 218 00:10:48,507 --> 00:10:52,954 Well, FYI, I was at a charity ball the night of the murder. 219 00:10:54,974 --> 00:10:56,583 Y'all sure got a big-ass dog. 220 00:11:04,966 --> 00:11:06,383 Orbis Pro Vox. 221 00:11:09,056 --> 00:11:11,060 And the safe was empty. No will. 222 00:11:11,090 --> 00:11:13,090 Nothing but a cryptic Latin phrase. 223 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:16,564 Poor Gustav. All he cared about was getting that will into the right hands. 224 00:11:16,594 --> 00:11:18,772 If we find the killer, we'll find that will. 225 00:11:18,834 --> 00:11:22,214 Problem is our case just went from a slam dunk to a badunkadunk. 226 00:11:22,244 --> 00:11:25,912 - Is "badunkadunk" bad? - Badunkadunk means "big", 227 00:11:25,942 --> 00:11:28,251 as in what our simple little murder just became. 228 00:11:28,281 --> 00:11:31,637 - What happened to "the bellman did it"? - He's hiding something, but 15 people 229 00:11:31,667 --> 00:11:34,375 vouching for him at a key party? Well, that's an airtight alibi. 230 00:11:34,405 --> 00:11:37,582 - Now, what is a key party anyway? - Oh, I love that you don't know that. 231 00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:39,881 It's a kind of raffle. 232 00:11:40,064 --> 00:11:41,252 Of the porno variety. 233 00:11:45,493 --> 00:11:46,594 Back to the case. 234 00:11:46,624 --> 00:11:49,691 How does a safe with some cryptic Latin phrase scrawled inside change anything? 235 00:11:49,721 --> 00:11:52,514 You know, you need to peel back that pie crust you working under 236 00:11:52,544 --> 00:11:54,377 and turn on the news sometime. 237 00:11:54,407 --> 00:11:57,086 Rich people are getting robbed left and right by some happy hooligan 238 00:11:57,116 --> 00:11:59,561 who leaves the same Latin calling card at every scene. 239 00:11:59,625 --> 00:12:01,272 So that's why it's a badunkadunk. 240 00:12:01,603 --> 00:12:03,876 I got to go see a buddy at the police station. 241 00:12:03,906 --> 00:12:04,706 Great. 242 00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:08,808 Gives us more time to start work on our research project on Dwight. 243 00:12:13,972 --> 00:12:15,595 It seems like the mysterious Dwight 244 00:12:15,625 --> 00:12:18,497 didn't exist before checking into the come-and-sleep motel. 245 00:12:18,561 --> 00:12:21,250 Who knows? Maybe he's not such a bad guy. He's very charming. 246 00:12:21,312 --> 00:12:23,003 What do Lily and Vivian think about him? 247 00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:26,130 What you'd expect. Lily hates him, but Vivian's completely ga. 248 00:12:26,749 --> 00:12:29,252 Good news is you're not even on his radar. 249 00:12:29,819 --> 00:12:32,135 How about another cup of coffee, please? 250 00:12:33,018 --> 00:12:34,974 So, we know Dwight's got a strange preoccupation 251 00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,640 with your father's pocket watch. 252 00:12:36,670 --> 00:12:38,475 Maybe we give it to him, and he goes away. 253 00:12:38,539 --> 00:12:39,426 Or... 254 00:12:40,165 --> 00:12:41,521 We could wake my dad and ask. 255 00:12:41,584 --> 00:12:42,891 - Chuck. - I'm just saying 256 00:12:42,921 --> 00:12:45,699 that it'd be a shortcut to finding out who Dwight is and what he wants. 257 00:12:45,729 --> 00:12:47,735 You just have to touch him and ask him. 258 00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:50,223 But that was an act of charity 259 00:12:50,253 --> 00:12:52,907 the pie maker was not willing to commit. 260 00:12:53,407 --> 00:12:55,057 I'm sorry. It's just... 261 00:12:55,696 --> 00:12:57,546 I know you want to say goodbye to your father, 262 00:12:57,576 --> 00:13:01,083 and I know a lifetime of goodbyes can't be condensed into a single minute. 263 00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:02,663 Even if they could... 264 00:13:03,276 --> 00:13:05,503 You'd have to watch him die all over again. 265 00:13:07,322 --> 00:13:09,257 I love you too much to make you suffer like that. 266 00:13:11,243 --> 00:13:12,493 You understand? 267 00:13:14,119 --> 00:13:15,848 Well, I got us a good nugget. 268 00:13:17,270 --> 00:13:20,637 The police say that our serial robber always makes a donation to charity 269 00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:22,687 the day after he robs someone. 270 00:13:24,925 --> 00:13:26,243 Am I interrupting something? 271 00:13:26,273 --> 00:13:27,423 - No. - Yep. 272 00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:31,529 Maybe Gustav Hofer was being robbed by a latter-day Robin Hood. 273 00:13:31,592 --> 00:13:33,573 - Killed by him. - Call it whatever you want, 274 00:13:33,635 --> 00:13:36,658 but I know where we can find a bellman with a charity streak. 275 00:13:48,166 --> 00:13:49,816 It's a new day, friends! 276 00:13:49,978 --> 00:13:52,978 Another opportunity to help the needy. 277 00:13:53,529 --> 00:13:56,847 So, ring those bells, collect spare change, 278 00:13:56,948 --> 00:13:59,391 and remember... Ring for right! 279 00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:00,892 Ring for right! 280 00:14:01,578 --> 00:14:02,828 Ring for right. 281 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:04,395 Orbis Pro Vox. 282 00:14:04,458 --> 00:14:06,813 Which means "your ass is busted" in PI lingo. 283 00:14:06,877 --> 00:14:09,692 Welcome to the Bellmen's Charity headquarters. 284 00:14:09,755 --> 00:14:11,778 Are you here to make a donation? Volunteer? 285 00:14:11,838 --> 00:14:15,239 One of your bell-ringers rang for wrong to the tune of robbery-homicide. 286 00:14:15,302 --> 00:14:17,282 That's outrageous. And impossible. 287 00:14:17,346 --> 00:14:20,416 We screen our Bellmen regularly to make sure that all who ring in 288 00:14:20,446 --> 00:14:22,996 these hallowed halls follow our motto... 289 00:14:23,041 --> 00:14:23,991 Ring for right. 290 00:14:24,021 --> 00:14:26,562 Which just happens to be written at crime scenes all over the city. 291 00:14:26,592 --> 00:14:28,011 In a dead language, but still. 292 00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:31,664 Friends, I assure you my Bellmen have nothing to hide. 293 00:14:32,026 --> 00:14:34,761 I fling my doors open to your investigation. 294 00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:37,396 And if there's anything else that I personally can do, 295 00:14:37,426 --> 00:14:39,723 - please, don't hesitate... - To ring? 296 00:14:39,824 --> 00:14:40,807 Absolutely. 297 00:14:40,867 --> 00:14:43,851 Oh, yeah? Well, somewhere a starving street child 298 00:14:43,914 --> 00:14:48,234 is chewing off his own fingers because you're too cheap to give 50 bucks! 299 00:14:48,264 --> 00:14:50,414 Telemarketers. I hate these guys. 300 00:14:51,542 --> 00:14:54,448 I'm Emerson Cod, private investigator. These are my associates. 301 00:14:54,478 --> 00:14:56,614 Mind if we have a gander to your phone list? 302 00:14:57,048 --> 00:14:59,367 - What phone list? - The one you just slid into the folder. 303 00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:01,659 - What folder? - There's a comfort in knowing 304 00:15:01,689 --> 00:15:04,230 that telemarketers are just as horrible in real life. 305 00:15:04,260 --> 00:15:05,623 Shift change! 306 00:15:06,174 --> 00:15:08,366 - He was very suspect-ish. - Very. 307 00:15:09,236 --> 00:15:10,299 Yeah, well, 308 00:15:10,329 --> 00:15:13,756 any of these phone numbers match the one at Gustav's mansion, 309 00:15:14,389 --> 00:15:16,286 he's gonna be very jailbird-ish. 310 00:15:17,477 --> 00:15:21,596 After unearthing the grave of Charlotte Charles in search of a pocket watch 311 00:15:21,626 --> 00:15:23,841 and finding neither girl nor watch, 312 00:15:23,871 --> 00:15:27,479 former jailbird Dwight Dixon used his masculine wiles 313 00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:29,377 to determine if Vivian knew 314 00:15:29,407 --> 00:15:32,420 of the watch's final final resting place. 315 00:15:33,741 --> 00:15:36,070 The clarinet is a lovely instrument. 316 00:15:36,133 --> 00:15:37,619 I always wanted to be a flautist, 317 00:15:37,649 --> 00:15:40,155 but unusually tight tendons in my pinkie finger 318 00:15:40,185 --> 00:15:42,285 made hitting d-sharp impossible. 319 00:15:42,347 --> 00:15:44,107 Well, they look just fine to me. 320 00:15:44,137 --> 00:15:46,532 Perfect for holding. 321 00:15:46,915 --> 00:15:50,918 I'm not the kind of woman who slips notes into random men's coat pockets, 322 00:15:51,223 --> 00:15:54,016 - but something about you... - And what might that have been? 323 00:15:54,046 --> 00:15:56,896 The charm you force to cover the brutish shell 324 00:15:57,621 --> 00:15:59,427 around your damaged heart. 325 00:16:00,988 --> 00:16:02,096 I like layers. 326 00:16:02,244 --> 00:16:06,540 Dwight felt his cold heart warm ever so much. 327 00:16:09,082 --> 00:16:10,474 Lily was under the impression 328 00:16:10,504 --> 00:16:13,690 that you're only looking to recover some personal property, 329 00:16:13,754 --> 00:16:17,570 then disappear like a puddle of gasoline in the sunshine. 330 00:16:17,633 --> 00:16:19,268 I was saddened to hear 331 00:16:19,298 --> 00:16:21,987 that Charles' watch was buried with your dear late niece. 332 00:16:22,017 --> 00:16:24,474 But what a fine gesture that was. 333 00:16:24,929 --> 00:16:27,592 I imagine the service was magnificent. 334 00:16:27,622 --> 00:16:28,456 It was. 335 00:16:29,234 --> 00:16:31,983 So, others, beside yourself, 336 00:16:32,013 --> 00:16:34,355 were able to see poor Charlotte at peace with the watch, 337 00:16:34,385 --> 00:16:37,882 before her dear soul was committed to the ground? 338 00:16:37,945 --> 00:16:42,164 Mary Suddbury leaned in and peeled back Charlotte's eyelids. 339 00:16:42,194 --> 00:16:45,395 Said there was a vigorous black market in stolen corneas, 340 00:16:45,425 --> 00:16:47,475 but I thought it was in poor taste. 341 00:16:49,799 --> 00:16:50,895 Charlotte... 342 00:16:51,701 --> 00:16:54,774 I encouraged her to take the pleasure cruise that ended so unpleasantly. 343 00:16:55,751 --> 00:16:58,160 I was tired of being a shut-in, 344 00:16:59,486 --> 00:17:01,862 but I couldn't bring myself to leave, 345 00:17:02,158 --> 00:17:05,230 and so I decided to leave vicariously 346 00:17:05,531 --> 00:17:07,662 and pushed Charlotte out the door. 347 00:17:08,517 --> 00:17:09,767 Poor Charlotte. 348 00:17:11,172 --> 00:17:12,492 Now... 349 00:17:12,522 --> 00:17:16,138 you've gone and set those pretty peepers a-weeping. 350 00:17:16,168 --> 00:17:18,527 In his search for a brass pocket watch, 351 00:17:18,557 --> 00:17:21,336 Dwight Dixon found a heart of gold. 352 00:17:21,610 --> 00:17:23,404 I've carried this with me 353 00:17:24,138 --> 00:17:26,500 since the funeral, as a reminder 354 00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:30,371 to stop living vicariously 355 00:17:30,401 --> 00:17:31,978 and start living living. 356 00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:34,313 You've probably seen her face before. 357 00:17:35,061 --> 00:17:37,275 She was all over the news after she died. 358 00:17:39,180 --> 00:17:40,864 Oh, I have definitely... 359 00:17:41,890 --> 00:17:43,636 seen her face before. 360 00:17:53,641 --> 00:17:57,149 Do you know if Gustav ever donated to an organization called the Bellmen? 361 00:17:57,179 --> 00:17:59,687 - "The Bellmen"? - Every house that's been robbed 362 00:17:59,717 --> 00:18:02,536 was called by a Bellmen telemarketer named Tam Fong. 363 00:18:02,566 --> 00:18:04,070 So Elise didn't do it? 364 00:18:04,923 --> 00:18:07,724 This Tam Fong killed Gustav? 365 00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:09,520 Well, where is he? 366 00:18:09,550 --> 00:18:12,637 I'm gonna find that malfeas-ass and slam him down... 367 00:18:12,667 --> 00:18:13,542 Inside voice. 368 00:18:13,572 --> 00:18:15,332 I'm not talking about the gavel of justice. 369 00:18:15,362 --> 00:18:17,967 - Outside voice. - I'm talking about southern-style, 370 00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:21,027 back-alley score settling doled out by me and a couple of homeless... 371 00:18:21,087 --> 00:18:22,713 Conversational patio voice? 372 00:18:22,743 --> 00:18:24,971 Before you get to doling out blind justice, 373 00:18:25,047 --> 00:18:27,403 the smoking gun don't always point to the bad guy. 374 00:18:27,512 --> 00:18:30,352 So Tam Fong isn't the guilty party? 375 00:18:30,382 --> 00:18:31,186 Yes. 376 00:18:32,357 --> 00:18:33,158 Maybe. 377 00:18:33,188 --> 00:18:35,834 All we know is, maybe he had a hand in marking the mark. 378 00:18:35,928 --> 00:18:39,292 Good news is, we have reason to believe that Gustav completed a second will. 379 00:18:39,322 --> 00:18:43,337 A second will? Hopefully, that tarnished trophy wife of his is excluded. 380 00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:45,523 Wait, wait... I'm his lawyer. 381 00:18:45,553 --> 00:18:48,042 If there were a second will, I would have drafted it, 382 00:18:48,072 --> 00:18:51,369 drawn it up, and drawn a tidy 20% commission for my troubles. 383 00:18:51,536 --> 00:18:53,386 So how would you know differently? 384 00:18:53,497 --> 00:18:56,512 Let's just say that our procedures would be inadmissible in court. 385 00:18:56,542 --> 00:18:58,725 Either way, the will was taken during the robbery. 386 00:18:58,794 --> 00:19:01,963 - You really mix the good with the bad. - The world would be a better place 387 00:19:01,993 --> 00:19:04,480 if everybody dabbed calamine on welts of bad news. 388 00:19:04,549 --> 00:19:07,821 Gustav Hofer deserved better than the wife he had, 389 00:19:07,851 --> 00:19:11,675 and the wife he had didn't deserve the money he earned. 390 00:19:12,383 --> 00:19:15,658 You find that second will, I'll double your fee. 391 00:19:15,727 --> 00:19:18,328 - Oh, we'll find that will. - We'll find that will. 392 00:19:19,597 --> 00:19:22,582 We know Tam's calling the houses to be robbed even if he's not robbing them. 393 00:19:22,612 --> 00:19:24,751 What if we put our names on the do-call list? 394 00:19:24,820 --> 00:19:27,252 No burglar worth his burgles would take the bait 395 00:19:27,282 --> 00:19:29,292 if they saw your tiny-ass apartments. 396 00:19:29,322 --> 00:19:30,757 We could use my aunts' house. 397 00:19:32,319 --> 00:19:34,388 Is there a sting? I want to sting. Can I sting? 398 00:19:34,418 --> 00:19:35,673 That's a very bad idea. 399 00:19:35,703 --> 00:19:38,606 It's a good idea made doubly-good because while you're figuring out 400 00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:40,353 who brought the lights down on Gustav, 401 00:19:40,383 --> 00:19:42,685 I'll be shining my own light on the true identity of Dwight. 402 00:19:42,762 --> 00:19:46,858 I have an old cigar box with my dad's letters that's hidden in my bedroom. 403 00:19:46,888 --> 00:19:50,610 Now, If dad did know Dwight, there will be something about him inside. 404 00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,962 The pie maker considered the wooden box in her old room 405 00:19:53,992 --> 00:19:57,884 a better alternative to the wooden box that contained her father. 406 00:19:58,101 --> 00:19:59,862 So a sting was set. 407 00:20:06,519 --> 00:20:08,982 Mr. Fong, I am so sorry to interrupt. 408 00:20:09,145 --> 00:20:11,703 I'm Tessa Carville, wife of Clarence Carville, 409 00:20:11,733 --> 00:20:14,085 who, I'm sure you are aware, owns Carville Steel. 410 00:20:14,115 --> 00:20:16,803 I believe someone from here called me yesterday? 411 00:20:17,325 --> 00:20:19,602 Mrs. Carville, of course! 412 00:20:19,632 --> 00:20:21,015 Please, take a seat. 413 00:20:21,174 --> 00:20:24,259 I won't be staying long, just long enough to explain 414 00:20:24,328 --> 00:20:26,234 why I hate phone solicitations 415 00:20:26,264 --> 00:20:29,440 almost as much as I hate beggars and panhandlers. 416 00:20:29,763 --> 00:20:32,253 I believe I have the right to a net worth greater 417 00:20:32,283 --> 00:20:34,410 than most developing countries without being hounded 418 00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:36,394 by sponging ne'er-do-wells 419 00:20:36,424 --> 00:20:38,790 and sanctimonious bleeding hearts like yourself. 420 00:20:39,044 --> 00:20:40,957 So, unless you stop calling, 421 00:20:40,987 --> 00:20:43,867 I will take a tiny fraction of my immense wealth, 422 00:20:43,897 --> 00:20:45,985 buy this building, knock it down, 423 00:20:46,015 --> 00:20:50,425 and turn it into a glue factory so big, the whole city will be smelling horse. 424 00:20:50,828 --> 00:20:52,547 If you please leave your number, 425 00:20:52,577 --> 00:20:55,065 I'll see to it that nobody calls you again. 426 00:20:55,234 --> 00:20:56,110 Psych. 427 00:20:56,140 --> 00:20:57,883 Did you say, "Psych"? 428 00:20:59,021 --> 00:20:59,821 Good, 429 00:20:59,949 --> 00:21:02,891 because I'm getting on a hovercraft bound for Saint Tropez 430 00:21:03,039 --> 00:21:07,131 early this evening, and I expect it to be dealt with before I return tomorrow. 431 00:21:07,873 --> 00:21:08,896 Here is my card. 432 00:21:15,593 --> 00:21:16,958 The trap was set, 433 00:21:16,988 --> 00:21:20,360 so the pie maker and Chuck returned to her childhood bedroom... 434 00:21:20,390 --> 00:21:24,553 Not to catch a thief, but to uncover Dwight Dixon's true intentions. 435 00:21:24,583 --> 00:21:26,613 They turned my old room into a cheese locker! 436 00:21:26,801 --> 00:21:31,090 Can you smell the flowery overtones of Stilton wafting through the air? 437 00:21:31,322 --> 00:21:34,097 It's nice that they filled this room with something you all loved so much. 438 00:21:36,868 --> 00:21:40,771 It's amazing how a familiar smell can wrap you in its arms and 439 00:21:41,142 --> 00:21:42,869 coddle away any ugly memory 440 00:21:42,899 --> 00:21:44,922 between now and the last time you smelled it. 441 00:21:46,996 --> 00:21:48,394 Thank you for letting me come. 442 00:21:49,456 --> 00:21:50,563 I'm glad you came. 443 00:21:50,646 --> 00:21:53,023 And don't worry about getting caught. 444 00:21:53,384 --> 00:21:56,433 I'll hear anybody coming before they even get to the bottom of the stairs. 445 00:21:58,798 --> 00:21:59,807 Listen. 446 00:22:00,502 --> 00:22:03,343 The other end's hooked up to the Victrola in the living room. 447 00:22:03,621 --> 00:22:05,998 I used it to eavesdrop on my aunts when I was a teenager. 448 00:22:06,028 --> 00:22:08,189 That's very crafty. 449 00:22:14,641 --> 00:22:16,914 Alone in a room that was once hers, 450 00:22:16,944 --> 00:22:20,009 Chuck felt, for a moment, like a little girl again. 451 00:22:20,276 --> 00:22:24,304 Thinking of the momentos in the box, among them the birthday present 452 00:22:24,334 --> 00:22:26,788 she was never able to give her father, 453 00:22:26,818 --> 00:22:29,393 Chuck thanked her 8-year-old self. 454 00:22:30,398 --> 00:22:31,986 Thank you, 8-year-old self. 455 00:22:33,255 --> 00:22:35,020 You must be out of your damn minds! 456 00:22:35,135 --> 00:22:39,620 There is no way in tinker bell's tiny butt cheeks that you are gonna roll out 457 00:22:39,650 --> 00:22:42,596 the welcome mat on my front porch for a bunch of thieves! 458 00:22:42,626 --> 00:22:45,183 - We know it's an imposition... - An imposition 459 00:22:45,213 --> 00:22:46,918 is ordering clams at a kosher deli. 460 00:22:47,338 --> 00:22:51,643 Robbers nowadays are multi-hyphenate hoodlums. They don't just rob. 461 00:22:51,673 --> 00:22:53,556 Oh, no. They strip you naked, 462 00:22:53,765 --> 00:22:57,555 lather you in lard and slide you into the walls and leave you there. 463 00:22:57,718 --> 00:22:59,260 Then they rob you. 464 00:22:59,426 --> 00:23:00,682 When you put it like that. 465 00:23:00,712 --> 00:23:04,344 Why don't I just get a shovel and start digging my shallow grave now? 466 00:23:04,414 --> 00:23:07,598 I find a dash of danger titillating. 467 00:23:07,848 --> 00:23:09,307 You've certainly made that clear. 468 00:23:09,377 --> 00:23:12,227 I assume that's a passive-aggressive insult 469 00:23:12,297 --> 00:23:14,680 directed at my daring sashays into romance. 470 00:23:15,298 --> 00:23:16,440 I choose to ignore it. 471 00:23:16,509 --> 00:23:19,443 You've ignored every other danger sign on the road to abject heartbreak. 472 00:23:19,512 --> 00:23:23,083 I find that interjecting at precisely the right moment often defuses conflict. 473 00:23:23,113 --> 00:23:25,665 - Wouldn't you agree? - Lily Charles, you're jealous. 474 00:23:25,761 --> 00:23:28,543 It simply slays you that a man as tender 475 00:23:28,638 --> 00:23:32,289 and as viscerally masculine as Dwight chose me over you. 476 00:23:32,358 --> 00:23:33,541 Missed it by that much. 477 00:23:34,525 --> 00:23:35,746 I am not jealous. 478 00:23:35,776 --> 00:23:37,545 I'm worried about you. 479 00:23:38,777 --> 00:23:39,630 Damn it, 480 00:23:40,063 --> 00:23:41,172 I love you. 481 00:23:41,234 --> 00:23:44,677 I don't want to see this fetish you have for raffish men 482 00:23:44,788 --> 00:23:46,846 hurt you the way it has in the past. 483 00:23:46,915 --> 00:23:49,153 - On the topic of Dwight... - Keep out of this! 484 00:23:51,653 --> 00:23:53,678 Is my patch on the wrong eye, 485 00:23:53,708 --> 00:23:56,188 or did it suddenly get very dark in here? 486 00:23:56,257 --> 00:23:58,124 Is it dark? I didn't even notice. 487 00:23:58,154 --> 00:24:00,393 They say that extreme photosensitivity 488 00:24:00,423 --> 00:24:03,105 is a sign of rabies or a hangover 489 00:24:03,135 --> 00:24:04,984 or a delicate optical nerve condition... 490 00:24:05,014 --> 00:24:07,704 Yeah, or a bunch of part-time PIs 491 00:24:07,734 --> 00:24:11,594 trying to hoodwink a hoodlum by pretending my house is vacant. 492 00:24:11,924 --> 00:24:13,548 Wait a minute! 493 00:24:13,722 --> 00:24:15,374 We're being robbed tonight! 494 00:24:15,443 --> 00:24:17,335 I just got a shiver. 495 00:24:17,662 --> 00:24:20,316 While the bickering downstairs continued, 496 00:24:20,346 --> 00:24:23,840 Chuck decided she had heard all the fighting she cared to 497 00:24:24,152 --> 00:24:28,626 and turned her attention instead to her father's dusty belongings. 498 00:24:28,656 --> 00:24:30,139 Seeing Dwight engaged 499 00:24:30,208 --> 00:24:33,339 in male bonding with her father and the pie maker's father, 500 00:24:33,471 --> 00:24:37,912 Chuck still found no indication of Dwight Dixon's true intentions. 501 00:24:38,091 --> 00:24:41,943 The secret behind those intentions remained buried with her father 502 00:24:42,011 --> 00:24:44,137 in the grave next to her grave, 503 00:24:44,167 --> 00:24:47,279 a grave she may soon be returning to. 504 00:24:53,531 --> 00:24:54,664 Fear not, madam. 505 00:24:57,319 --> 00:24:58,459 I mean you no harm. 506 00:24:58,718 --> 00:25:00,482 Spectacular throw, by the way. 507 00:25:00,738 --> 00:25:03,381 To be fair, I should tell you that I have a gun in my pocket. 508 00:25:03,449 --> 00:25:05,126 To be fair, I don't really believe you. 509 00:25:05,156 --> 00:25:08,498 To be even more fair, all I have to do is scream, and a whole cadre of big, 510 00:25:08,528 --> 00:25:11,816 strong men and sweet middle-aged ladies with shotguns will come running. 511 00:25:11,846 --> 00:25:13,679 Fair enough. And yet, you haven't. 512 00:25:13,906 --> 00:25:16,256 Perhaps because you believe that society has a moral 513 00:25:16,286 --> 00:25:18,726 obligation to protect the least fortunate of its ranks. 514 00:25:19,271 --> 00:25:21,481 - And where society fails... - You pick up the slack. 515 00:25:21,782 --> 00:25:24,252 Which sounds incredibly noble until you kill someone. 516 00:25:24,282 --> 00:25:26,987 I am no killer, merely a soldier of fortune... 517 00:25:27,594 --> 00:25:29,739 Other people's fortunes, for the underprivileged. 518 00:25:29,769 --> 00:25:31,117 Gustav would say otherwise. 519 00:25:32,345 --> 00:25:34,899 He would if he could speak, but he can't because he's dead. 520 00:25:35,328 --> 00:25:39,250 You and Tam Fong killed Gustav two days ago after you robbed him. 521 00:25:39,360 --> 00:25:43,379 First of all, Tam Fong is but another unwitting victim of my robberies. 522 00:25:43,448 --> 00:25:45,423 I swipe his phone list to choose my targets. 523 00:25:45,534 --> 00:25:48,134 - And Gustav? - I robbed him, it's true. 524 00:25:48,367 --> 00:25:50,538 Not because he was stingy and uncharitable, 525 00:25:50,568 --> 00:25:51,886 but because he asked me to. 526 00:25:51,998 --> 00:25:53,213 He asked you to rob him? 527 00:25:53,243 --> 00:25:54,479 He was writing a new will 528 00:25:54,509 --> 00:25:57,006 and needed to know whether to name his wife as beneficiary. 529 00:25:57,161 --> 00:25:58,726 I know how this must sound, 530 00:25:58,756 --> 00:26:02,481 but the facts were these... These were the facts... 531 00:26:03,826 --> 00:26:06,444 Gustav was in the midst of a crisis of faith. 532 00:26:06,474 --> 00:26:08,847 His decision to rewrite his will had made him question 533 00:26:08,877 --> 00:26:12,496 whether his wife really loved him and if he had any true friendships at all. 534 00:26:13,041 --> 00:26:14,351 And that's when we met. 535 00:26:15,596 --> 00:26:18,505 He wanted to make a contribution, but I wouldn't let him. 536 00:26:18,535 --> 00:26:21,381 He said: "Where I come from, people get paid for their services". 537 00:26:21,411 --> 00:26:25,196 But I said: "Charity is an impulse, not a return for a friendly act". 538 00:26:25,226 --> 00:26:28,049 So we talked. He told me his problems, and I offered a solution. 539 00:26:28,756 --> 00:26:29,939 I agreed to rob him. 540 00:26:29,969 --> 00:26:31,693 He would appear to be an innocent victim. 541 00:26:31,723 --> 00:26:33,715 If his wife stayed faithfully by his side, 542 00:26:33,745 --> 00:26:35,488 his concerns could be laid to rest. 543 00:26:35,518 --> 00:26:38,642 I'd return half his fortune and keep the other half for charity. 544 00:26:39,077 --> 00:26:42,270 But Gustav's wife intervened, and I had to get out. 545 00:26:45,374 --> 00:26:47,676 I read in the paper the next day what happened to Gustav. 546 00:26:48,024 --> 00:26:50,528 Even if you didn't kill him, you're still a criminal. 547 00:26:50,558 --> 00:26:53,003 My duty is to the downtrodden, the meek, 548 00:26:53,033 --> 00:26:55,484 those unable to reach their own bootstraps, let alone pull them. 549 00:26:55,853 --> 00:26:57,627 I take only what people can afford to lose, 550 00:26:57,657 --> 00:27:00,287 and that certainly doesn't include their lives. 551 00:27:00,317 --> 00:27:01,708 Do you like puppies? 552 00:27:02,264 --> 00:27:03,070 Yeah. 553 00:27:03,100 --> 00:27:05,649 The Papen County animal shelter is about to be shut down tomorrow 554 00:27:05,679 --> 00:27:07,725 unless I get them the money to pay their mortgage. 555 00:27:08,288 --> 00:27:10,806 With nowhere to house these animals, the dogcatchers are calling it 556 00:27:10,874 --> 00:27:13,159 - "the big sleep". - You can save them? 557 00:27:13,425 --> 00:27:17,342 Only if the help outweighs the hurt. The act of charity always makes sense. 558 00:27:17,806 --> 00:27:18,890 You let him go? 559 00:27:19,002 --> 00:27:21,422 - What if he's a cold-blooded murderer? - Shut it. Kitchen. 560 00:27:21,452 --> 00:27:23,686 It was an act of charity. There were puppies involved. 561 00:27:23,798 --> 00:27:26,572 And besides, my grueneberg ganglia wasn't activated. 562 00:27:26,602 --> 00:27:27,837 That sounds personal. 563 00:27:27,867 --> 00:27:29,842 Sounds like one of them feminine conversations 564 00:27:29,872 --> 00:27:31,403 you need to have with your friends. 565 00:27:31,514 --> 00:27:33,489 There's a bundle of nerves at the tip of your nose 566 00:27:33,519 --> 00:27:36,731 - that detect aggressive pheromones. - As in, you can sniff out danger? 567 00:27:36,761 --> 00:27:39,093 And the only thing I could smell was a swashbuckling do-gooder 568 00:27:39,123 --> 00:27:40,949 who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. 569 00:27:41,065 --> 00:27:42,699 Smells like puppy crap to me. 570 00:27:42,729 --> 00:27:44,667 You shouldn't have let him go. It was a mistake. 571 00:27:44,806 --> 00:27:46,063 You're really angry at me. 572 00:27:46,093 --> 00:27:48,711 I'm out of counter space, so I'm stress-baking in my head. 573 00:27:48,773 --> 00:27:51,882 - It feels like you're stress-baking me. - I'm channeling fear into anger. 574 00:27:51,951 --> 00:27:53,341 Anger leads to hate. 575 00:27:53,418 --> 00:27:55,844 And hate leads to stress-baking the people you love. 576 00:27:55,955 --> 00:27:58,763 Bad, but better than stress-releasing, which is what you did for the bellman. 577 00:27:58,875 --> 00:28:01,734 Maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe it was Gustav's musket-toting 578 00:28:01,764 --> 00:28:03,936 wife that dropped the chandelier on his head. You did say 579 00:28:03,996 --> 00:28:06,271 that the bellman/porter was hiding something. 580 00:28:06,382 --> 00:28:09,656 He may have had an alibi, but he may also know who killed Gustav. 581 00:28:11,708 --> 00:28:12,514 Yeah... 582 00:28:17,518 --> 00:28:20,201 Stakeouts are only fun when there are binoculars for everybody. 583 00:28:20,313 --> 00:28:22,426 Stakeouts are only fun if you got a good football game 584 00:28:22,456 --> 00:28:25,415 to listen to and the stake you're outing is next to a hot-dog stand. 585 00:28:25,526 --> 00:28:27,877 You seem like a good time to have weighty conversations. 586 00:28:28,700 --> 00:28:29,587 No, I don't. 587 00:28:29,647 --> 00:28:31,854 If Dwight figures out that I'm not dead, 588 00:28:31,884 --> 00:28:33,906 it may be the best thing that ever happened to me. 589 00:28:33,936 --> 00:28:36,677 You talking a lot like a dead girl who wants to go back in the ground. 590 00:28:36,965 --> 00:28:39,145 - What's the worst that could happen? - Pie maker becomes 591 00:28:39,175 --> 00:28:42,474 a sideshow in the Circus Of Fun, and I earn my wages peddling tickets. 592 00:28:42,842 --> 00:28:46,140 This is a cavalier conversation about a deep, dark, touchy subject for me. 593 00:28:46,170 --> 00:28:48,527 - How deep, dark and touchy is it? - Ever since I was little, 594 00:28:48,557 --> 00:28:51,019 I'd have this dream that somebody found out what I could do. 595 00:28:51,344 --> 00:28:53,828 It starts off with lots of ice cream and balloons, 596 00:28:53,858 --> 00:28:56,036 and ends in a small white room 597 00:28:56,066 --> 00:28:58,828 where little bits are cut out of me until there's nothing left to cut. 598 00:28:58,858 --> 00:28:59,742 That's awful. 599 00:28:59,921 --> 00:29:02,536 If Dwight finds out about me, then he finds out about you, 600 00:29:02,687 --> 00:29:05,682 and you still won't wake up my dad and find out what Dwight wants. 601 00:29:05,856 --> 00:29:08,266 You're putting my emotional well-being before your fears. 602 00:29:08,296 --> 00:29:10,926 That's so courageous and romantic. 603 00:29:12,899 --> 00:29:13,858 Thank you. 604 00:29:13,921 --> 00:29:15,591 Well, looky, looky. 605 00:29:16,039 --> 00:29:17,964 It's Gustav's widow and the bellman petting. 606 00:29:18,254 --> 00:29:19,767 Hello, motive. 607 00:29:20,734 --> 00:29:22,352 Nice to see you again. 608 00:29:22,704 --> 00:29:27,167 All that remained for Emerson Cod was to confront the bellman and widow. 609 00:29:28,734 --> 00:29:30,045 Across town, 610 00:29:30,421 --> 00:29:34,850 all that remained of Charles Charles was a loving box of memories 611 00:29:34,991 --> 00:29:36,399 and a pocket watch. 612 00:29:36,698 --> 00:29:40,479 Although Charles Charles, the man who had set so much in motion, 613 00:29:40,509 --> 00:29:41,766 was long gone, 614 00:29:42,670 --> 00:29:47,163 Dwight Dixon, the man who intended to bring it all to a crashing end, 615 00:29:47,708 --> 00:29:49,065 was still here. 616 00:29:51,067 --> 00:29:52,019 We're closed. 617 00:29:53,731 --> 00:29:54,838 Excuse me. 618 00:29:55,110 --> 00:29:57,281 What I meant to say was: "We're closed". 619 00:29:58,081 --> 00:29:59,955 So you're here all by your lonesome. 620 00:29:59,985 --> 00:30:02,338 No, no. I'm not here all by my lonesome. 621 00:30:02,368 --> 00:30:05,724 Manuel, the big cholo janitor, is in the back. 622 00:30:06,049 --> 00:30:10,400 I think he used to be in one of those, super-dangerous El Salvadoran gangs 623 00:30:10,739 --> 00:30:14,621 who murder white older men as a warning to the police to buzz off. 624 00:30:15,237 --> 00:30:16,527 Isn't that right, Manuel? 625 00:30:18,411 --> 00:30:20,281 He's probably, you know, cleaning the toilet. 626 00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:23,283 I'd like to leave a message for your friends. 627 00:30:23,394 --> 00:30:24,826 Yeah, I'll just grab a pad. 628 00:30:24,887 --> 00:30:26,168 It's around here somewhere. 629 00:30:26,198 --> 00:30:28,011 Boy, look at all this sugar. 630 00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:30,856 Yeah, I hope you don't need a... 631 00:30:32,536 --> 00:30:33,377 Hello? 632 00:30:34,362 --> 00:30:37,715 While Olive Snook was unable to provide the pen and paper she sought, 633 00:30:38,162 --> 00:30:40,009 she'd received the mysterious 634 00:30:40,077 --> 00:30:42,869 Dwight's message loud and clear. 635 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,694 1 hour, 23 min and 42 seconds ago, 636 00:30:50,995 --> 00:30:53,998 Olive Snook made two alarming discoveries... 637 00:30:54,205 --> 00:30:56,487 First, that in time of duress, 638 00:30:56,517 --> 00:30:59,492 the pie maker's penchant for stress-baking was matched 639 00:30:59,522 --> 00:31:03,383 only by the petite waitress' predilection for stress-binging. 640 00:31:03,518 --> 00:31:06,961 Second, that the dark stranger, Dwight Dixon, had 641 00:31:07,022 --> 00:31:11,401 discovered Chuck, a.k.a. Charlotte Charles' true identity. 642 00:31:11,565 --> 00:31:14,468 It did little to lighten the load in Olive's heart 643 00:31:14,563 --> 00:31:17,478 as she anxiously awaited the pie maker's return. 644 00:31:19,170 --> 00:31:22,489 Having acquired the brass pocket watch he so eagerly sought, 645 00:31:22,519 --> 00:31:25,804 Dwight Dixon set his sights on Vivian's heart of gold. 646 00:31:25,834 --> 00:31:29,762 But sister Lily was not about to let that treasure go so easily. 647 00:31:34,662 --> 00:31:37,781 You can turn your fanny right around and walkway, mister. 648 00:31:38,146 --> 00:31:39,992 We're done buying what you're peddling. 649 00:31:40,054 --> 00:31:43,413 Now, Lily, that's not entirely true. More accurate would be: 650 00:31:43,474 --> 00:31:47,919 "I'm not buying what you're peddling, but Vivian will be right down". 651 00:31:48,187 --> 00:31:50,270 And how long you suppose she'll stay interested 652 00:31:50,300 --> 00:31:53,129 in the wares of a two-bit huckster pitching lies? 653 00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:55,438 I didn't think you were so concerned about lies. 654 00:31:55,468 --> 00:31:57,636 Shouldn't you be more worried about the truth? 655 00:31:57,710 --> 00:31:59,838 It's time to nip you in the budding romance 656 00:31:59,868 --> 00:32:02,743 before Vivian convinces herself you really are the second coming. 657 00:32:02,773 --> 00:32:07,269 I assume you're referring to my friend, your lover, Charles Charles. 658 00:32:07,499 --> 00:32:08,933 You're nothing like Charles. 659 00:32:08,963 --> 00:32:11,942 I think you'd find that Charlie and me are more similar than you'd reckon. 660 00:32:12,113 --> 00:32:14,362 Few stark differences, of course, but... 661 00:32:14,884 --> 00:32:17,072 we had the same ambitions. 662 00:32:17,132 --> 00:32:18,505 He made bad decisions. 663 00:32:19,545 --> 00:32:20,992 You were a bad decision. 664 00:32:21,149 --> 00:32:24,961 My bad decisions landed me in prison. His landed him with a baby girl. 665 00:32:25,057 --> 00:32:27,879 I don't think I ever had the opportunity 666 00:32:28,029 --> 00:32:29,708 to express my condolences. 667 00:32:29,771 --> 00:32:34,130 You got your thumb on a big, red button you definitely don't want to push. 668 00:32:34,191 --> 00:32:37,428 Vivian said the service was beautiful. 669 00:32:37,458 --> 00:32:41,220 And what a lovely gesture to bury your daughter 670 00:32:41,282 --> 00:32:42,932 with her father's watch. 671 00:32:44,025 --> 00:32:48,310 You are such thoughtful women, who have loved and lost so 672 00:32:48,665 --> 00:32:49,467 much. 673 00:32:51,072 --> 00:32:52,691 We're gonna lose you right now, 674 00:32:52,846 --> 00:32:55,484 before you get one inch closer to my little sister's heart. 675 00:32:55,901 --> 00:32:58,045 Get gone and stay gone. 676 00:33:02,148 --> 00:33:04,243 Lily's encounter with Dwight had stirred 677 00:33:04,306 --> 00:33:06,101 the pot of her sentimental soup, 678 00:33:06,131 --> 00:33:10,345 one spoonful of which gave her a terrible case of the yearns 679 00:33:10,375 --> 00:33:12,095 to visit her daughter's grave. 680 00:33:12,125 --> 00:33:14,091 What in hell's kitchen... 681 00:33:17,353 --> 00:33:19,730 But when she saw the overturned dirt, 682 00:33:19,973 --> 00:33:23,972 she thought about the pocket watch and the man obsessed with its whereabouts, 683 00:33:24,002 --> 00:33:26,398 and wondered whether Dwight Dixon 684 00:33:26,428 --> 00:33:29,270 had unearthed more than Vivian's buried emotion. 685 00:33:31,219 --> 00:33:33,959 Meanwhile, the private investigators had unearthed 686 00:33:33,989 --> 00:33:36,782 the buried motives of Gustav Hofer's widow. 687 00:33:36,812 --> 00:33:38,028 You bumped off Gustav 688 00:33:38,089 --> 00:33:41,406 so you could keep bumping uglies with the bellman while inhering a fortune. 689 00:33:41,467 --> 00:33:42,533 I told you. Alibi. 690 00:33:42,593 --> 00:33:44,532 - Key party. - Your alibi never checked out. 691 00:33:44,562 --> 00:33:46,211 You never went to that charity ball. 692 00:33:46,241 --> 00:33:47,495 Why'd you do it, Elise? 693 00:33:47,556 --> 00:33:49,121 I didn't do anything... 694 00:33:49,526 --> 00:33:50,874 Except James-Andrew. 695 00:33:51,685 --> 00:33:53,267 Who do you think got his key? 696 00:33:54,222 --> 00:33:56,338 I was still really wrong about what I thought that was. 697 00:33:56,398 --> 00:33:59,049 You two backing up each other's alibis means bubkes. 698 00:33:59,127 --> 00:34:01,517 You were canoodlin' and cahootin' and you were cahootin' to kill. 699 00:34:01,547 --> 00:34:04,160 We cahooted to keep quiet about our affair. 700 00:34:04,352 --> 00:34:07,024 Adulteresses totally get the shaft in estate law. 701 00:34:07,054 --> 00:34:09,725 Besides, I couldn't kill anybody with these hands. 702 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:13,587 Since I grew these puppies out, my manicure means I'm a mani-can't 703 00:34:13,617 --> 00:34:14,920 for manual labor. 704 00:34:14,950 --> 00:34:17,075 Yeah, but you were a mani-can when it came 705 00:34:17,105 --> 00:34:19,632 to pointin' a gun at robber Rob Wright and almost pulled the trigger. 706 00:34:19,662 --> 00:34:20,808 As if! 707 00:34:20,838 --> 00:34:23,657 I never even saw the robber. And even if I did... 708 00:34:25,010 --> 00:34:27,100 Why is everybody pointing their gun at me? 709 00:34:27,130 --> 00:34:29,769 There is no way I could pull the trigger on a gun. 710 00:34:29,799 --> 00:34:31,671 I'm too blinked out! 711 00:34:31,701 --> 00:34:33,417 You could have taken off the rings. 712 00:34:33,477 --> 00:34:35,287 With those nails, it'd have taken forever. 713 00:34:35,317 --> 00:34:37,709 - Rob would have been out of there. - If she's telling the truth 714 00:34:37,739 --> 00:34:39,838 and didn't storm in on Rob Wright robbing the house... 715 00:34:39,900 --> 00:34:41,930 Our robbing hood's had us hoodwinked. 716 00:34:45,273 --> 00:34:47,708 So, the private investigator, the pie maker, 717 00:34:47,738 --> 00:34:50,633 and Chuck sought out their winking hood 718 00:34:50,663 --> 00:34:52,768 at the Bellmen's headquarters. 719 00:34:53,997 --> 00:34:56,458 I'll thank you to keep your sidearm holstered, sir, 720 00:34:56,713 --> 00:34:58,607 lest I'll be forced to lunge. 721 00:35:01,212 --> 00:35:03,121 At least it ain't another gun. 722 00:35:10,048 --> 00:35:11,850 From one gentleman to another, 723 00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:14,749 allow me to apologize for our current situation. 724 00:35:14,877 --> 00:35:17,029 Well, I'd be a lot more receptive to that apology 725 00:35:17,059 --> 00:35:18,962 if there wasn't a knife pointed at my gullet. 726 00:35:19,319 --> 00:35:22,131 You're a lying liar and a murderer, both of which are bad. 727 00:35:22,192 --> 00:35:24,915 One of which is worse. You slaughtered a senior citizen. 728 00:35:24,945 --> 00:35:26,975 That'll buy you a ringside seat in hell. 729 00:35:27,005 --> 00:35:30,305 But you might be able to get a refund on that ticket if you put the knife down. 730 00:35:30,443 --> 00:35:33,063 Gustav was the victim of a tragic accident. 731 00:35:33,667 --> 00:35:35,394 Born of good deeds, I might add. 732 00:35:35,455 --> 00:35:37,539 Running from the scene of a crime was no accident. 733 00:35:37,569 --> 00:35:40,399 Did you even stop to consider the consequences of your "good deeds"? 734 00:35:40,460 --> 00:35:43,715 Those weren't "good deeds" for Gustav's wife, his lawyer or his legacy. 735 00:35:43,745 --> 00:35:46,727 Well, actually, now that you mention it, I think I can make that right. 736 00:35:47,632 --> 00:35:48,758 Gustav's will. 737 00:35:48,843 --> 00:35:51,615 It was in his safe. Now that that's settled, 738 00:35:52,114 --> 00:35:54,101 I trust my quest to rob from the rich 739 00:35:54,131 --> 00:35:56,832 and give to the poor may continue unabated. 740 00:35:57,158 --> 00:35:59,077 Oh, hell no, 741 00:35:59,313 --> 00:36:02,797 'cause, see, I plan on being real rich, and I want to see your ass in jail. 742 00:36:02,858 --> 00:36:04,723 I was afraid you might feel that way. 743 00:36:05,764 --> 00:36:06,574 So... 744 00:36:07,494 --> 00:36:09,302 Orbis Pro Vox! 745 00:36:14,446 --> 00:36:17,479 'Bout time I get to do the gun-pointing around here. 746 00:36:17,509 --> 00:36:18,854 The facts were these... 747 00:36:18,916 --> 00:36:22,008 Upon coming to the realization that his young wife 748 00:36:22,038 --> 00:36:24,200 may only have married him for his money, 749 00:36:24,296 --> 00:36:28,739 Gustav Hofer found himself questioning whether he should rewrite his will. 750 00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:32,251 Bellman Rob Wright afforded him the perfect plan... 751 00:36:32,281 --> 00:36:35,575 Fake a robbery to learn his wife's true feelings. 752 00:36:35,825 --> 00:36:38,540 But Daniel Hill discovered those feelings first. 753 00:36:38,643 --> 00:36:40,926 He deserves the crème de la crème, 754 00:36:40,956 --> 00:36:42,874 not some sugar-stuffed 755 00:36:42,904 --> 00:36:45,964 pop-tart with a helium voice and hooker heels. 756 00:36:46,075 --> 00:36:49,094 One word from me and you are out of the will! 757 00:36:50,030 --> 00:36:51,854 Though his lawyer shielded Gustav 758 00:36:51,884 --> 00:36:54,665 from his wife's treachery in order to protect his pride, 759 00:36:54,695 --> 00:36:58,273 Gustav had not only seen her adulterous ways, 760 00:36:58,303 --> 00:37:02,232 but also the way Daniel Hill defended his good name and honor. 761 00:37:03,011 --> 00:37:06,829 The billionaire resolved to leave his estate to his esquire. 762 00:37:07,464 --> 00:37:10,937 When the bellman arrived, Gustav refused to play his role. 763 00:37:10,967 --> 00:37:14,243 Rob Wright insisted Gustav keep his end of the bargain. 764 00:37:14,483 --> 00:37:18,498 Gustav insisted more emphatically that Rob leave his mansion. 765 00:37:22,158 --> 00:37:24,294 It was Gustav who would be the dearly departed 766 00:37:24,496 --> 00:37:28,425 and Daniel Hill who would find the body he left behind 767 00:37:28,486 --> 00:37:29,676 and pick up the pieces. 768 00:37:32,091 --> 00:37:33,497 Gustav's revised will. 769 00:37:34,572 --> 00:37:36,298 You get the whole Hofer coffer. 770 00:37:36,328 --> 00:37:38,464 Me? All I ever did was... 771 00:37:39,193 --> 00:37:40,394 give him my friendship. 772 00:37:40,455 --> 00:37:41,504 It's all he wanted. 773 00:37:42,581 --> 00:37:43,389 Now, 774 00:37:43,780 --> 00:37:46,067 let's talk about your next charitable donation. 775 00:37:49,203 --> 00:37:52,026 While Emerson Cod was able to deliver good news, 776 00:37:52,291 --> 00:37:54,612 Lily Charles sought to convince her sister 777 00:37:54,642 --> 00:37:57,151 that the mysterious Dwight was bad news. 778 00:38:02,297 --> 00:38:04,298 Holy crap. 779 00:38:04,328 --> 00:38:07,079 Lily knew Dwight dug up her daughter's grave, 780 00:38:07,109 --> 00:38:09,723 but she needed more proof than overturned dirt. 781 00:38:11,392 --> 00:38:13,653 Lily had found the proof she sought. 782 00:38:13,827 --> 00:38:18,127 Dwight had his possession the watch she believed was buried with Chuck. 783 00:38:26,253 --> 00:38:28,039 And Dwight, believing the girl 784 00:38:28,069 --> 00:38:31,332 who was not dead stole back the watch he stole from her, 785 00:38:31,362 --> 00:38:34,879 set off to retrieve his stolen, stolen property. 786 00:38:47,455 --> 00:38:50,823 The girl named Chuck, who had not been so lucky with death, 787 00:38:50,853 --> 00:38:55,345 learned that her death had come back to haunt her in the form of Dwight Dixon. 788 00:38:57,415 --> 00:38:59,613 This left the pie maker no choice. 789 00:38:59,643 --> 00:39:02,395 In order to unearth Dwight Dixon's agenda, 790 00:39:03,265 --> 00:39:06,745 he must first unearth Chuck's father. 791 00:39:10,365 --> 00:39:13,762 I keep waiting for a euphoric high to rush through my system, and instead, 792 00:39:13,792 --> 00:39:17,158 I feel really nervous and uncomfortable. 793 00:39:17,403 --> 00:39:20,527 It's gonna be an awkward hello, tender acceptance and a rushed goodbye. 794 00:39:20,557 --> 00:39:23,465 Euphoric high barely figures in it. It's gonna be hard. 795 00:39:23,805 --> 00:39:26,929 I don't think I realized that until now, and now it's too late to turn back. 796 00:39:27,092 --> 00:39:30,171 It's not too late to turn back. We have other options. We could leave town. 797 00:39:30,231 --> 00:39:31,925 Even with Dwight knowing who I am, 798 00:39:31,955 --> 00:39:35,577 you're still willing to put my emotional well-being before your deepest fears. 799 00:39:35,778 --> 00:39:37,080 If I knew the consequences, 800 00:39:37,110 --> 00:39:40,245 I never would have alive-agained my mother, and I had her for seven hours. 801 00:39:40,457 --> 00:39:42,976 I'd rather take my chances with Dwight than make you go through this. 802 00:39:43,085 --> 00:39:45,145 When you lost your mother, you were alone. I... 803 00:39:45,788 --> 00:39:46,958 I have you. 804 00:39:49,787 --> 00:39:52,094 You're the real swashbuckling do-gooder, 805 00:39:52,929 --> 00:39:54,106 and I love you. 806 00:39:55,747 --> 00:39:58,116 I hope you still feel that way when this is over. 807 00:40:12,943 --> 00:40:14,086 You ready? 808 00:40:15,644 --> 00:40:17,177 Yeah, I'm ready, I think. 809 00:40:17,237 --> 00:40:19,179 Synchro: Salomon & Gaillots. 810 00:40:19,239 --> 00:40:21,036 Rereading: Bruno & Toupack.