1 00:00:28,142 --> 00:00:30,444 - Immigration? - Revenue. 2 00:00:30,478 --> 00:00:33,614 Mrs. Rose! There are people here from the government! 3 00:00:42,123 --> 00:00:44,225 I've been gutted! 4 00:00:44,258 --> 00:00:48,796 John, I've been stripped of every morsel of pleasure I earned in this life! 5 00:00:48,829 --> 00:00:50,531 Well, how do you think I feel, Moira? 6 00:00:50,564 --> 00:00:52,733 Eli was family, for God's sake! 7 00:00:52,766 --> 00:00:54,735 "Leave your finances to me," he said! 8 00:00:54,768 --> 00:00:56,370 Son of a bitch! 9 00:00:56,404 --> 00:01:00,108 Baby, it's crazy. People are just, like, taking our stuff! 10 00:01:00,141 --> 00:01:02,443 I said, they're taking our stuff! 11 00:01:02,476 --> 00:01:04,745 Can you just step out of the club for a second... 12 00:01:04,778 --> 00:01:05,813 Hold on, hold on! 13 00:01:05,846 --> 00:01:07,515 Those bags are not for you. 14 00:01:07,548 --> 00:01:08,782 My boyfriend bought those for me. 15 00:01:08,816 --> 00:01:10,985 So, theoretically, they are his! 16 00:01:11,019 --> 00:01:13,087 Please, sir, can you step aside? 17 00:01:13,121 --> 00:01:16,190 No, you step aside! You step aside! 18 00:01:16,224 --> 00:01:17,791 I'm still trying to wrap my mind around 19 00:01:17,825 --> 00:01:21,862 what kind of a sick person wants to get paid to destroy another person's life! 20 00:01:21,896 --> 00:01:24,398 Destroy another person's life! 21 00:01:25,333 --> 00:01:26,434 Where are you taking that? 22 00:01:26,467 --> 00:01:28,869 My very soul has been kidnapped. 23 00:01:28,903 --> 00:01:31,805 There's no ransom. No one's coming to save me! 24 00:01:31,839 --> 00:01:33,874 We've got 15 minutes to collect our personals. 25 00:01:33,908 --> 00:01:35,509 - Can we pick up the pace? - No. 26 00:01:35,543 --> 00:01:38,712 No! Did you put Kristen with Robin? They don't like each other! 27 00:01:38,746 --> 00:01:40,915 No! No! 28 00:01:42,350 --> 00:01:44,618 Eli really did a number, Johnny. 29 00:01:44,652 --> 00:01:46,220 He took everything. 30 00:01:46,254 --> 00:01:48,489 They're still looking for him. They think he's in the Caymans. 31 00:01:48,522 --> 00:01:51,759 He was our business manager. He's supposed to pay taxes! 32 00:01:51,792 --> 00:01:52,860 Hmm. 33 00:01:52,893 --> 00:01:55,429 There is a very small amount set aside for you, 34 00:01:55,463 --> 00:01:58,766 and one asset the government has allowed you to retain. 35 00:01:58,799 --> 00:01:59,833 The kids. 36 00:02:00,834 --> 00:02:02,703 The children are dependents, Moira. 37 00:02:05,473 --> 00:02:09,210 You bought a small town in 1991, Johnny. 38 00:02:09,243 --> 00:02:12,546 Yes, I bought that as a joke for my son. 39 00:02:12,580 --> 00:02:15,483 Wait, you actually purchased that town? 40 00:02:15,516 --> 00:02:18,586 Yes, I purchased the town. How else could I get the deed? 41 00:02:18,619 --> 00:02:19,988 You could've photoshopped the deed! 42 00:02:20,021 --> 00:02:21,589 And saved the money! Saved the money! 43 00:02:21,622 --> 00:02:24,258 Why would I photoshop a deed? The joke was owning the town! 44 00:02:24,292 --> 00:02:25,559 - Okay, stop. - That was the joke! 45 00:02:25,593 --> 00:02:27,095 - Oh, my God! - Well, that was the joke! 46 00:02:27,128 --> 00:02:28,596 To Johnny's credit, 47 00:02:28,629 --> 00:02:32,333 this town might just be your saving grace. 48 00:02:32,366 --> 00:02:34,468 - At least for a while. - What do you mean? 49 00:02:34,502 --> 00:02:37,005 You can live there for next to nothing, until you get back on your feet. 50 00:02:37,038 --> 00:02:39,473 I'm sure there's a penthouse we can move into. 51 00:02:39,507 --> 00:02:41,942 Please, there are other options. 52 00:02:41,976 --> 00:02:44,678 Well, homelessness is still on the table. 53 00:02:58,259 --> 00:03:01,862 The whole time I was surrounded by old women wearing visors, 54 00:03:01,895 --> 00:03:03,431 who smelled like yams! 55 00:03:04,665 --> 00:03:06,667 There was nowhere to lie down! 56 00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:08,902 There was nowhere to lie down. There was no bed! 57 00:03:08,936 --> 00:03:10,571 There was no kitchen. 58 00:03:10,604 --> 00:03:13,507 I know! No. 59 00:03:14,808 --> 00:03:15,843 I don't know what to tell you. 60 00:03:15,876 --> 00:03:17,611 There's like, cows all over the place. 61 00:03:17,645 --> 00:03:19,247 Like, everywhere. 62 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:21,249 I don't know if there's an infestation. 63 00:03:21,282 --> 00:03:23,584 I don't know what's happening. Yeah. 64 00:03:23,617 --> 00:03:25,986 Johnny Rose! 65 00:03:27,821 --> 00:03:29,457 Roland Schitt. 66 00:03:29,490 --> 00:03:31,992 You're the mayor we're supposed to meet. 67 00:03:32,026 --> 00:03:33,294 That's right. I'm the mayor. 68 00:03:33,327 --> 00:03:35,796 So if you're looking for an ass to kiss, it's mine! 69 00:03:38,166 --> 00:03:40,601 Oh, this is my family, my son... 70 00:03:40,634 --> 00:03:43,571 Let's get you all squared away in the office there, Johnny, okay? 71 00:03:43,604 --> 00:03:45,973 The gals can grab the bags. You follow me, all right? 72 00:03:46,006 --> 00:03:47,941 Right this way. Watch it, honey. Here we come. 73 00:03:47,975 --> 00:03:50,411 The Cheaters marathon we watched, it's like that. 74 00:03:50,444 --> 00:03:52,446 Children, keep an eye on these bags. 75 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:55,116 Apparently in hell, there's no bellman! 76 00:03:56,384 --> 00:03:57,685 - David, what are we... - Shut up! 77 00:03:58,886 --> 00:04:00,521 - You shut up! - You shut up! 78 00:04:00,554 --> 00:04:03,191 - Um, you shut up! - You shut up! 79 00:04:05,893 --> 00:04:07,228 The name is Rose. 80 00:04:07,261 --> 00:04:10,298 I don't see a reservation under that name. 81 00:04:10,331 --> 00:04:13,000 It's okay, Stevie. I set aside two rooms for them. 82 00:04:13,033 --> 00:04:14,402 Well, there's nothing here. 83 00:04:14,435 --> 00:04:16,404 Well, okay, fine. Just book 'em in with two rooms. 84 00:04:16,437 --> 00:04:18,972 These people own the town. They're big deals. 85 00:04:19,006 --> 00:04:20,841 We'll need three rooms, minimum. 86 00:04:20,874 --> 00:04:22,743 Ooh, no can do, honey. 87 00:04:22,776 --> 00:04:25,113 Look, we have a one-room comp policy here, 88 00:04:25,146 --> 00:04:28,816 and I am personally throwing in an extra room out of sheer decency, so... 89 00:04:28,849 --> 00:04:31,485 What about suites? Do you have a couple of suites? 90 00:04:31,519 --> 00:04:32,720 This guy! 91 00:04:32,753 --> 00:04:34,222 Um... 92 00:04:34,255 --> 00:04:37,258 No, this is a motel. 93 00:04:37,291 --> 00:04:41,129 So we cater more to off road truckers and drunk teenagers. 94 00:04:41,162 --> 00:04:45,999 Please, someone just give me a key, to a door, to a room, any room! 95 00:04:46,033 --> 00:04:49,737 I just want a bathtub and a long extension cord, please. 96 00:04:50,838 --> 00:04:53,307 There you go, ma'am. 97 00:04:58,312 --> 00:04:59,980 Smells like a gym bag. 98 00:05:00,013 --> 00:05:01,982 Dees anyone else feel light-headed? 99 00:05:02,015 --> 00:05:05,586 Oh, my God, this takes me back to high school. 100 00:05:05,619 --> 00:05:09,557 You know, I did the deed in just about every room in this place. 101 00:05:09,590 --> 00:05:12,893 Yep, if a forensic team came in here with one of those blue lights, 102 00:05:12,926 --> 00:05:14,428 this place would just light up! 103 00:05:14,462 --> 00:05:15,863 Okay, that's good. 104 00:05:15,896 --> 00:05:17,965 - Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! - Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 105 00:05:17,998 --> 00:05:20,534 Oh, hey, chief, the other room's right through there. 106 00:05:20,568 --> 00:05:21,569 Here you go. 107 00:05:25,706 --> 00:05:27,074 And there's the bed. 108 00:05:27,107 --> 00:05:32,180 I should probably pull off that cover and burn it. 109 00:05:32,213 --> 00:05:33,647 All right. 110 00:05:33,681 --> 00:05:37,951 Good, Roland. Thank you very much. Appreciate everything... 111 00:05:37,985 --> 00:05:39,387 Have a ball in the land down under! 112 00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:40,621 Ever wanna ride a kangaroo? 113 00:05:40,654 --> 00:05:41,989 Okay. 114 00:05:43,824 --> 00:05:45,293 Okay. 115 00:05:46,794 --> 00:05:48,229 Okay. 116 00:05:50,030 --> 00:05:51,965 Okay, okay. 117 00:05:52,733 --> 00:05:55,068 Okay, okay, okay. 118 00:05:55,102 --> 00:05:58,038 Okay. Okay. 119 00:05:58,906 --> 00:06:00,140 Okay. 120 00:06:01,942 --> 00:06:03,377 Okay! 121 00:06:04,878 --> 00:06:07,215 Okay. Okay. I love you! 122 00:06:08,482 --> 00:06:12,586 Oh, okay, well, looks like you got all the channels 123 00:06:12,620 --> 00:06:15,256 except for Channel 19 for some reason. I don't know why. 124 00:06:15,289 --> 00:06:17,991 Well, the thing is we won't be watching a lot of television. 125 00:06:18,025 --> 00:06:19,993 But again, thank you. 126 00:06:20,027 --> 00:06:23,697 Don't want to keep you. I know you're a busy man. 127 00:06:36,777 --> 00:06:37,778 Whoa! 128 00:06:43,417 --> 00:06:45,786 - Hi. - Can I help you? 129 00:06:45,819 --> 00:06:47,655 - I'm looking for an extra towel. - Okay. 130 00:06:47,688 --> 00:06:49,089 And this might be a stupid question, 131 00:06:49,122 --> 00:06:51,392 considering the state of the rugs in our room, 132 00:06:51,425 --> 00:06:55,963 but do you have a business center here? 133 00:06:55,996 --> 00:06:58,832 Yes, we do have a business center. 134 00:06:58,866 --> 00:07:01,369 You can find it right outside the doors to your left, 135 00:07:01,402 --> 00:07:04,137 right beside the Hammam spa. 136 00:07:04,171 --> 00:07:06,039 Would you like me to book you a treatment while you're at it? 137 00:07:06,073 --> 00:07:07,908 Thank you. No, just the towel, thanks. 138 00:07:07,941 --> 00:07:09,543 I'll get those right out. 139 00:07:13,847 --> 00:07:15,249 Well, Roland, once again, thank you 140 00:07:15,283 --> 00:07:17,318 for giving us the lay of the land here, 141 00:07:17,351 --> 00:07:19,320 but we have some serious unpacking to do. 142 00:07:19,353 --> 00:07:21,955 - If you don't mind. - Oh, sure! 143 00:07:21,989 --> 00:07:24,758 No problem there, Johnny. I don't mind helpin' out. 144 00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:29,563 Listen, one thing before I go here... 145 00:07:29,597 --> 00:07:31,699 Do you mind if I use your toilet? 146 00:07:33,767 --> 00:07:37,104 Is it absolutely necessary? 147 00:07:38,272 --> 00:07:42,643 Yeah, I would say it's absolutely necessary! 148 00:07:42,676 --> 00:07:45,579 Excuse me. "Absolutely necessary." 149 00:07:45,613 --> 00:07:50,584 Yes, that train has left the station, if you know what I mean! 150 00:07:52,953 --> 00:07:54,087 I need that bed. 151 00:07:54,422 --> 00:07:55,456 Why? 152 00:07:55,489 --> 00:07:57,224 - Because I need it. - Why? 153 00:07:57,257 --> 00:07:58,526 Because if someone were to break in here 154 00:07:58,559 --> 00:08:00,093 in the middle of the night wanting to murder us, 155 00:08:00,127 --> 00:08:01,695 they would attack this bed first. 156 00:08:01,729 --> 00:08:03,931 So I need this bed. 157 00:08:03,964 --> 00:08:06,334 So you're saying that you want me to get murdered first? 158 00:08:06,367 --> 00:08:08,402 In front of you? And then what would you do? 159 00:08:08,436 --> 00:08:11,639 Would you just run away and leave me to bleed out on the floor? 160 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:14,508 Sort of, that was the plan, yeah. 161 00:08:14,542 --> 00:08:16,176 Okay. 162 00:08:16,209 --> 00:08:18,078 Well, you can have the bed when I leave. 163 00:08:18,111 --> 00:08:20,013 Well, where are you going? 164 00:08:20,047 --> 00:08:21,815 Stavros is flying in to get me. I told you that. 165 00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:24,618 What do you mean Stavros is... 166 00:08:24,652 --> 00:08:26,487 What do you mean? When? When is he doing that? 167 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:29,289 Like, whenever stupid Mary-Kate stops hogging his plane. 168 00:08:29,323 --> 00:08:30,858 Well, where are we going? 169 00:08:32,125 --> 00:08:35,996 Okay. At present, he's just coming for me. 170 00:08:36,029 --> 00:08:37,164 But then I figured that 171 00:08:37,197 --> 00:08:40,501 we would just come back and grab you guys at some point. 172 00:08:40,534 --> 00:08:46,974 What kind of sociopath abandons her family in some vomit-soaked dump 173 00:08:47,007 --> 00:08:49,276 to gallivant around the world 174 00:08:49,309 --> 00:08:53,447 with her dumb shipping-heir loser boyfriend she's known for three months? 175 00:08:53,481 --> 00:08:57,451 David, it will be four months next month! 176 00:08:57,485 --> 00:08:59,487 Oh, my God! 177 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:00,921 And he just told me that 178 00:09:00,954 --> 00:09:03,624 he could potentially see himself considering saying "I love you" 179 00:09:03,657 --> 00:09:05,659 at some point sometime soon, so... 180 00:09:05,693 --> 00:09:08,095 That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I'm telling Mom. 181 00:09:08,128 --> 00:09:09,697 I'm telling Mom and Dad. Have you told them? 182 00:09:09,730 --> 00:09:12,132 No! No. David, I'm waiting for the right opportunity. 183 00:09:12,165 --> 00:09:14,201 Okay? Otherwise, Dad's gonna cry, 184 00:09:14,234 --> 00:09:17,371 and Mom's gonna do that thing where she pretends that nothing's wrong, 185 00:09:17,405 --> 00:09:20,007 and then just doesn't talk to me for five months, and I don't want that. 186 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:23,544 Well, I need this bed. I need it. So... 187 00:09:23,577 --> 00:09:25,913 You know what, David? 188 00:09:25,946 --> 00:09:28,015 You get murdered first for once! 189 00:09:28,048 --> 00:09:30,317 No, you get murdered first! 190 00:09:30,350 --> 00:09:32,352 David, you get murdered first! 191 00:09:32,386 --> 00:09:34,688 - No, you! You do! - Yes, you get murdered first! 192 00:09:34,722 --> 00:09:37,190 David, you get murdered first! 193 00:09:48,368 --> 00:09:50,303 I actually think this place is kind of cute. 194 00:09:51,371 --> 00:09:52,840 Did you say cute? 195 00:09:52,873 --> 00:09:57,177 No, Alexis. Martha Stewart's Hampton home is cute. 196 00:09:59,046 --> 00:10:00,380 Where's that weird man? 197 00:10:01,482 --> 00:10:02,883 Where? 198 00:10:04,251 --> 00:10:07,621 He's in the bathroom. He won't leave! 199 00:10:07,655 --> 00:10:09,623 Well, he's been in there for a very long... 200 00:10:09,657 --> 00:10:12,693 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 201 00:10:12,726 --> 00:10:16,229 Jeez. Boy. 202 00:10:16,263 --> 00:10:19,299 Remind me to get that window fixed. It will not open. 203 00:10:19,332 --> 00:10:21,401 Roland, listen, thank you very much. 204 00:10:21,435 --> 00:10:23,170 But I appreciate everything you've done. 205 00:10:23,203 --> 00:10:26,540 We need a little private time now as a family. 206 00:10:26,574 --> 00:10:29,943 Sure. Well, actually, those curtains do close there, so... 207 00:10:31,044 --> 00:10:33,346 Oh, look! You've got Channel 19! 208 00:10:33,380 --> 00:10:36,584 Roland, could you get the fuck out? 209 00:10:36,617 --> 00:10:39,386 This latest model is a revelation in innovation. 210 00:10:39,419 --> 00:10:40,721 I am not lying, folks. 211 00:10:40,754 --> 00:10:43,190 It's gonna last you a lifetime. You are gonna thank... 212 00:10:46,226 --> 00:10:50,230 That was an overreaction. That was uncalled for. 213 00:10:50,263 --> 00:10:55,135 It's just, you know, we're a little tired. It's been a long day. 214 00:10:55,168 --> 00:10:59,272 There's a pharmacy worth of drugs wearing off on most of us right now, 215 00:10:59,306 --> 00:11:02,643 and I just think as a family, we need a little time to chill. 216 00:11:02,676 --> 00:11:05,913 Johnny, please, you don't have to apologize, 217 00:11:05,946 --> 00:11:08,649 and you really don't have to hit me over the head with this sort of thing. 218 00:11:08,682 --> 00:11:09,850 I get it. 219 00:11:09,883 --> 00:11:11,852 You need your little family time and all that. 220 00:11:11,885 --> 00:11:13,887 I'm sure. No problem. 221 00:11:13,921 --> 00:11:16,524 You know what I'll do? I'll... 222 00:11:16,557 --> 00:11:20,427 I'll just get the fuck out of here. 223 00:11:34,575 --> 00:11:36,143 We have to eat in here? 224 00:11:36,176 --> 00:11:38,411 I think it's kind of sweet. 225 00:11:38,445 --> 00:11:41,114 Alexis, what's going on with you? 226 00:11:41,949 --> 00:11:43,584 What do you mean? 227 00:11:43,617 --> 00:11:46,654 Seriously? The room was "cute," this place is "sweet." 228 00:11:46,687 --> 00:11:49,022 I am personally offended by this place. 229 00:11:49,056 --> 00:11:51,391 I don't know what you think is nice about it. 230 00:11:51,424 --> 00:11:54,662 The town is disgusting. It is gruesome. 231 00:11:54,695 --> 00:11:59,900 It is charming. It is quaint. It's like out of a storybook. 232 00:11:59,933 --> 00:12:02,335 Alexis, what the hell is the matter with you? 233 00:12:03,871 --> 00:12:06,106 Okay. 234 00:12:06,139 --> 00:12:07,975 Stavros is flying in to get me, 235 00:12:08,008 --> 00:12:10,510 and I am going to go live with him for a little bit. 236 00:12:10,544 --> 00:12:12,713 Well, that is not happening. 237 00:12:12,746 --> 00:12:18,151 And I am appalled that my baby girl has turned into a selfish, duplicitous whore! 238 00:12:18,185 --> 00:12:19,386 Oh, hello! 239 00:12:19,419 --> 00:12:22,556 Hi, I'm Twyla. I'll be your waitress today. 240 00:12:22,590 --> 00:12:26,259 Anyway, I read about you guys and everything you've gone through. 241 00:12:26,293 --> 00:12:28,161 It sounds super crappy. 242 00:12:28,195 --> 00:12:29,630 Super crappy? 243 00:12:29,663 --> 00:12:32,432 I had a second cousin in Elmdale who did telemarketing. 244 00:12:32,465 --> 00:12:33,901 He made a ton of money. 245 00:12:33,934 --> 00:12:37,204 Turns out his entire business was illegal, and he lost everything. 246 00:12:37,237 --> 00:12:39,206 Hmm. Not quite the same. 247 00:12:39,239 --> 00:12:42,142 Yeah. No, he went to prison, which is terrible, but... 248 00:12:42,175 --> 00:12:44,578 But he is learning Spanish. 249 00:12:44,612 --> 00:12:48,882 No mas, le duele! I think it means, "Stop, it hurts." 250 00:12:48,916 --> 00:12:51,585 Oh, wonderful anecdote. Could you give us a moment, please? 251 00:12:51,619 --> 00:12:53,921 Whenever you're ready. I'm just right over here. 252 00:12:53,954 --> 00:12:57,057 I forbid you to abandon our family. 253 00:12:57,090 --> 00:12:58,926 I am a grown woman, mother. 254 00:12:58,959 --> 00:13:00,994 This is the act of a spoiled child! 255 00:13:01,028 --> 00:13:03,731 I think it's unforgivable! 256 00:13:03,764 --> 00:13:05,733 I think that you're just super jealous, 257 00:13:05,766 --> 00:13:07,801 'cause I'm getting out of here! 258 00:13:07,835 --> 00:13:09,937 Also, you have a big thing of dandruff on your eyebrow. 259 00:13:09,970 --> 00:13:12,105 - Don't do that! - Kids, stop, stop! 260 00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:16,109 The world is falling apart around us, John, and I'm dying inside. 261 00:13:16,143 --> 00:13:18,478 Well, I'm feeling a little queasy myself. 262 00:13:19,446 --> 00:13:21,014 Oh, brisket! 263 00:13:21,048 --> 00:13:24,184 - Give me some space! - David! 264 00:13:30,557 --> 00:13:31,859 John. 265 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:33,994 - Oh, my God! - Um... 266 00:13:38,565 --> 00:13:41,134 These rooms did have doors, didn't they? 267 00:13:41,168 --> 00:13:42,936 Yeah, it's a hotel. They're hotel rooms. 268 00:13:42,970 --> 00:13:45,973 It's a motel! These are motel rooms. 269 00:13:46,006 --> 00:13:47,574 What if they took our stuff? 270 00:13:47,607 --> 00:13:49,677 What stuff? There's no stuff to take. 271 00:13:49,710 --> 00:13:51,344 I have stuff! 272 00:13:53,613 --> 00:13:54,882 Son of a bitch! 273 00:14:02,255 --> 00:14:03,456 Yeah, I've got a problem. 274 00:14:03,490 --> 00:14:05,993 - If this is about doors... - Yeah, it's about doors. 275 00:14:06,026 --> 00:14:09,096 Yeah, my doors are gone, my front door. Somebody stole my doors! 276 00:14:09,129 --> 00:14:11,598 Yeah, you're gonna have to talk to Roland about that. 277 00:14:11,631 --> 00:14:12,833 He lives just down the street. 278 00:14:12,866 --> 00:14:15,068 You make a left out of the motel and then another left. 279 00:14:15,102 --> 00:14:17,270 It's a house with a truck in the driveway. 280 00:14:17,304 --> 00:14:19,840 There's a bumper sticker of a naked Helen Mirren. 281 00:14:23,276 --> 00:14:26,379 Oh, my God, no! No! No! 282 00:14:26,413 --> 00:14:27,815 What? 283 00:14:27,848 --> 00:14:30,317 My earrings! They were there. They're not there! 284 00:14:30,350 --> 00:14:33,020 - Where did they go? - I don't know! I don't know! 285 00:14:33,053 --> 00:14:34,988 First you threatened to abandon me, 286 00:14:35,022 --> 00:14:37,224 and now my precious diamonds are gone! 287 00:14:37,257 --> 00:14:39,526 Okay, you are being super dramatic right now. 288 00:14:39,559 --> 00:14:41,561 Shut up and look for them! 289 00:14:52,205 --> 00:14:54,141 Get open! 290 00:14:59,179 --> 00:15:01,849 Roland, I see you behind the truck! 291 00:15:02,682 --> 00:15:04,684 Yeah, of course you see me. 292 00:15:04,718 --> 00:15:06,586 I'm looking at my gravel. 293 00:15:08,221 --> 00:15:10,590 Gravel these days. What are you gonna do? 294 00:15:10,623 --> 00:15:12,092 Yeah, it's gravel. 295 00:15:12,125 --> 00:15:13,994 Yeah, it's gravel! 296 00:15:14,027 --> 00:15:15,362 Hey, good news for you. 297 00:15:15,395 --> 00:15:17,865 I talked to a guy about that bathroom window. 298 00:15:17,898 --> 00:15:20,067 That's the least of my concerns right now! 299 00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:23,636 Oh, Really? Well, why don't we address your concerns? 300 00:15:23,670 --> 00:15:25,005 The doors! 301 00:15:25,038 --> 00:15:27,074 - I want my doors back! - Oh. 302 00:15:27,107 --> 00:15:29,542 Before it gets dark! My son is afraid of moths. 303 00:15:29,576 --> 00:15:30,844 Oh, hmm. 304 00:15:30,878 --> 00:15:32,379 Well, here's the thing about that, Johnny. 305 00:15:32,412 --> 00:15:34,681 You see, you did a bad thing. 306 00:15:34,714 --> 00:15:37,450 You disrespected me in front of your family! 307 00:15:37,484 --> 00:15:38,819 And now they think less of me. 308 00:15:38,852 --> 00:15:40,487 I doubt that's possible. 309 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:41,588 And to be honest, 310 00:15:41,621 --> 00:15:43,223 you were kind of breathing down our necks 311 00:15:43,256 --> 00:15:44,825 a little bit back at the motel. 312 00:15:44,858 --> 00:15:48,528 Johnny, when I was a kid and I did a bad thing, 313 00:15:48,561 --> 00:15:50,798 my father took the doors off my room. 314 00:15:50,831 --> 00:15:54,667 And he said to me, "Roland, privacy is earned." 315 00:15:55,535 --> 00:15:57,871 I am having a tough time following that. 316 00:15:57,905 --> 00:16:00,107 What the hell does that have to do with privacy? 317 00:16:00,140 --> 00:16:03,443 Nothing. I just got mad and I took your doors. 318 00:16:03,476 --> 00:16:07,047 Look, if you took offense to anything I said back at the motel, 319 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:09,817 just know it wasn't personal. 320 00:16:11,384 --> 00:16:14,254 All right. Apology accepted. 321 00:16:14,287 --> 00:16:16,857 Well, that was less of an apology and more of an explanation. 322 00:16:16,890 --> 00:16:18,425 Nevertheless, I accept your apology. 323 00:16:18,458 --> 00:16:19,793 Which it wasn't! 324 00:16:19,827 --> 00:16:21,594 So thank you again for that apology, which was very nice. 325 00:16:21,628 --> 00:16:23,630 Well, there was no apology, and I can't do this anymore! 326 00:16:23,663 --> 00:16:26,433 You said you're sorry in a very sweet and humble way, 327 00:16:26,466 --> 00:16:28,135 and that takes a big man to do that. 328 00:16:28,168 --> 00:16:31,471 And that's what Johnny Rose is! A big man! 329 00:16:36,209 --> 00:16:37,210 Oh! 330 00:16:38,645 --> 00:16:40,848 Hello! Hello! 331 00:16:41,781 --> 00:16:44,151 Hi, hello. Come here, please. 332 00:16:44,184 --> 00:16:49,256 I don't suppose you saw any hobos or crackheads 333 00:16:49,289 --> 00:16:51,024 loitering around the hotel today? 334 00:16:51,791 --> 00:16:53,693 No crackheads, no... 335 00:16:53,726 --> 00:16:57,264 While the rooms were exposed to the world like a Moroccan fair, 336 00:16:57,297 --> 00:17:00,033 someone got in here and stole my earrings. 337 00:17:00,067 --> 00:17:03,303 But it was just... But it was just you here today. 338 00:17:04,304 --> 00:17:06,940 - It was. - It was. 339 00:17:06,974 --> 00:17:10,543 I'm assuming you were the only one here on the premises today? 340 00:17:10,577 --> 00:17:12,946 I think I know where you're going with this. 341 00:17:12,980 --> 00:17:15,515 No, I'm simply confirming that 342 00:17:15,548 --> 00:17:19,552 you alone were here when the earrings were stolen. 343 00:17:19,586 --> 00:17:21,221 Are you asking me if I stole your earrings? 344 00:17:21,254 --> 00:17:23,723 No, I would never. Please! 345 00:17:23,756 --> 00:17:26,894 But I also would certainly never press charges. 346 00:17:26,927 --> 00:17:30,197 If my earrings were suddenly to be returned, 347 00:17:30,230 --> 00:17:32,900 if they suddenly reappeared, 348 00:17:32,933 --> 00:17:35,235 if you gave them back, I would not press charges. 349 00:17:35,268 --> 00:17:37,070 I would look the other way. 350 00:17:37,104 --> 00:17:38,571 Okay, you know what? I gotta run. 351 00:17:38,605 --> 00:17:40,908 'Cause I wanna hit the pawn shop before it closes. 352 00:17:40,941 --> 00:17:43,176 I owe my crack dealer a ton of money, so... 353 00:17:43,210 --> 00:17:46,113 You seem like you have this under control, though. 354 00:17:46,146 --> 00:17:48,081 What just happened? 355 00:17:48,115 --> 00:17:51,784 David, I politely asked that concierge girl if she had stolen my earrings, 356 00:17:51,818 --> 00:17:55,355 and she turned ice cold, and now she's on her way to a pawn shop! 357 00:17:55,388 --> 00:17:57,357 What? I need a towel! 358 00:17:57,991 --> 00:18:00,293 Hello, hi, hi. 359 00:18:00,327 --> 00:18:02,695 I am sorry if my mom accused you of taking something. 360 00:18:02,729 --> 00:18:03,931 It's fine. 361 00:18:03,964 --> 00:18:05,765 Okay, but does this mean that when you're cleaning our rooms, 362 00:18:05,798 --> 00:18:07,367 you're gonna put weird stuff in our beds 363 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,402 - out of spite or something? - I won't be cleaning your room. 364 00:18:09,436 --> 00:18:11,571 Okay, can I ask you a question? 365 00:18:12,039 --> 00:18:13,473 Shoot. 366 00:18:13,506 --> 00:18:15,943 - I think you're kind of rude! - Is that a question? 367 00:18:15,976 --> 00:18:19,779 I have asked you thrice now for a towel 368 00:18:19,812 --> 00:18:23,116 so that I may wash this town off my body. 369 00:18:23,150 --> 00:18:26,086 Do you think I wanna be here? 370 00:18:26,119 --> 00:18:27,320 I don't know what you want. 371 00:18:27,354 --> 00:18:29,256 You've given me one-word answers since I got here! 372 00:18:29,289 --> 00:18:32,192 So if I get you a towel, you'll stop following me to my car? 373 00:18:32,225 --> 00:18:33,893 Yes! Yes! 374 00:18:35,295 --> 00:18:38,365 Fine, but I'm only doing this because you called me rude, 375 00:18:38,398 --> 00:18:40,633 and I take that as a compliment. 376 00:18:40,667 --> 00:18:42,635 The man is a lunatic! 377 00:18:42,669 --> 00:18:44,437 What the hell happened here? 378 00:18:44,471 --> 00:18:46,139 We've been robbed. 379 00:18:46,173 --> 00:18:49,576 Right now, some local is pawning my earrings for crank. 380 00:18:49,609 --> 00:18:51,811 - Your diamonds? - Yes, my diamonds, 381 00:18:51,844 --> 00:18:53,546 the one thing I could hide under my tongue. 382 00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:57,850 Moira, I took your earrings out of here 383 00:18:57,884 --> 00:18:59,852 and I put them in my shoe. 384 00:19:01,188 --> 00:19:03,991 - For safekeeping. - No! No! 385 00:19:06,293 --> 00:19:08,528 Stavros just texted me. 386 00:19:08,561 --> 00:19:10,530 And he ended it. He's not coming! 387 00:19:10,563 --> 00:19:12,699 He said that he doesn't have time to come and get me because 388 00:19:12,732 --> 00:19:16,503 he already RSVP'd to Diddy's white party, 389 00:19:16,536 --> 00:19:17,937 and he doesn't have time to do both! 390 00:19:17,971 --> 00:19:19,939 But I was supposed to be his date to the white party! 391 00:19:19,973 --> 00:19:24,311 Alexis, he was never my favorite Stavros. 392 00:19:24,344 --> 00:19:25,912 I've hated that guy ever since he asked me 393 00:19:25,945 --> 00:19:28,115 to do lines with him at my 60th. 394 00:19:28,148 --> 00:19:31,718 Just out of sheer curiosity, 395 00:19:31,751 --> 00:19:35,188 where do you stand now on whether or not you think this motel is cute? 396 00:19:35,222 --> 00:19:38,591 - Like, is it still cute, or is it... - You're a dick, David! 397 00:19:38,625 --> 00:19:39,659 Oh, I'm a dick? 398 00:19:39,692 --> 00:19:41,894 Okay, did I dump you for a party? 399 00:19:41,928 --> 00:19:43,463 David, help me with the doors. 400 00:19:43,496 --> 00:19:45,065 No, I can't. I just got out of the shower. 401 00:19:45,098 --> 00:19:46,366 I need help with the doors. 402 00:19:46,399 --> 00:19:48,235 - David, help him with the doors! - Oh, my God! 403 00:19:48,268 --> 00:19:50,470 - You help him with the doors! - No! 404 00:19:50,503 --> 00:19:52,639 - David, could you help me with the doors? - It's air-drying! 405 00:19:52,672 --> 00:19:56,576 Pick up a hammer and nail this coffin shut! 406 00:19:57,610 --> 00:20:00,013 As if I didn't see this coming. 407 00:20:00,047 --> 00:20:03,483 He's broken up with me five times already. 408 00:20:03,516 --> 00:20:06,986 Like, there was that time that he never met me in Rio, 409 00:20:07,020 --> 00:20:11,091 and remember that time when he gave me his ex-wife's engagement ring? 410 00:20:11,958 --> 00:20:14,094 And then, last summer, 411 00:20:14,127 --> 00:20:16,429 that time that he left his molly in my glove compartment, 412 00:20:16,463 --> 00:20:19,966 - and then I got arrested? - Oh, my God! Can you do me a huge favor? 413 00:20:19,999 --> 00:20:22,935 And never repeat this to anyone that you respect, okay? 414 00:20:24,204 --> 00:20:26,173 - Okay? Okay. - Okay. 415 00:20:26,206 --> 00:20:28,275 Kids, we just came in to say good night 416 00:20:28,308 --> 00:20:32,279 and to remind you that we will get through this as a family. 417 00:20:32,312 --> 00:20:33,346 Okay, good night! 418 00:20:33,380 --> 00:20:36,049 Warmest regards to you both. 419 00:20:36,083 --> 00:20:40,253 And that will end up on our feet in no time! 420 00:20:40,287 --> 00:20:43,956 Of course, by then our feet will be shoeless and filthy and mangled 421 00:20:43,990 --> 00:20:47,994 from walking on cigarette butts and broken beer bottles. 422 00:20:48,027 --> 00:20:51,764 So, seriously, Alexis, enough about Stavros! 423 00:20:51,798 --> 00:20:55,802 I'm sorry if I am going through something right now! 424 00:20:55,835 --> 00:20:58,405 You're going through something? 425 00:21:07,414 --> 00:21:09,849 - Good night, children. - Good night! 426 00:21:09,882 --> 00:21:12,485 Good night. Good night. 427 00:21:12,519 --> 00:21:15,488 Let's all pray we don't wake up.