1 00:00:19,339 --> 00:00:20,474 Moira! Hmm. 2 00:00:20,507 --> 00:00:22,078 Moira! 3 00:00:22,111 --> 00:00:25,651 Oh, no! I just finally cried myself to sleep. 4 00:00:25,684 --> 00:00:27,021 The bed's soaking wet. 5 00:00:27,488 --> 00:00:29,092 Is it blood? 6 00:00:29,125 --> 00:00:30,927 No! There's a leak in the ceiling. 7 00:00:30,961 --> 00:00:33,533 - There is a brown disgusting drip coming. - Oh! 8 00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:36,106 Look at the... Look at... Oh, my God. 9 00:00:36,139 --> 00:00:38,843 - I can't do it. I tried! - This place is a dump! It's a dump. 10 00:00:38,877 --> 00:00:40,147 You know what? It's a hell hole. 11 00:00:40,181 --> 00:00:41,916 I tried, John, but I can't! 12 00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:44,122 - Ah! - Wake up. 13 00:00:44,155 --> 00:00:45,657 - Ah! - Start packing. 14 00:00:45,691 --> 00:00:49,332 The plumbing is shot to hell in this place and we are getting out. 15 00:00:49,365 --> 00:00:50,534 We are getting out! 16 00:00:50,567 --> 00:00:52,037 What are you wearing? What is that? A nightgown? 17 00:00:52,071 --> 00:00:54,509 It's a nightshirt, David. And that's not the issue. 18 00:00:54,542 --> 00:00:57,047 The issue is the brown sludge in my bed. 19 00:00:57,081 --> 00:00:58,417 We're selling the place! 20 00:00:58,450 --> 00:00:59,785 It's 6:00 a.m.! 21 00:00:59,819 --> 00:01:01,856 What's the name of the mouthy kid at the front desk? 22 00:01:01,889 --> 00:01:03,026 I don't know. I'm trying very hard 23 00:01:03,059 --> 00:01:04,529 not to connect with people right now. 24 00:01:04,562 --> 00:01:06,065 The mouth, the mouth, the girl. 25 00:01:06,099 --> 00:01:07,868 You might want to rethink the nightgown first. 26 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,107 There's a whole Ebenezer Scrooge thing happening. 27 00:01:10,141 --> 00:01:12,245 Oh, my God, that's who I was thinking of. 28 00:01:12,278 --> 00:01:14,014 You know what? I'll do it myself. 29 00:01:14,048 --> 00:01:16,219 - My best to Bob Cratchit. - Okay. 30 00:01:30,781 --> 00:01:33,787 Hello! Hello! Service? 31 00:01:35,757 --> 00:01:37,060 This bell is broken. 32 00:01:37,094 --> 00:01:41,001 Yeah, sorry. It's more or less decorative. 33 00:01:41,936 --> 00:01:44,141 There's a leak in my room. 34 00:01:44,175 --> 00:01:48,717 Brown, disgusting sewage water was dripping all over my bed this morning. 35 00:01:48,750 --> 00:01:51,623 I was soaking wet. So I need a plumber. 36 00:01:52,758 --> 00:01:54,161 You want me to call a plumber? 37 00:01:55,731 --> 00:01:57,033 Do I want you to call a plumber? 38 00:01:57,067 --> 00:01:59,272 Yes, yes, I do. I want you call... 39 00:01:59,305 --> 00:02:00,574 You should already be on the phone. 40 00:02:00,607 --> 00:02:01,976 Could you call a plumber? 41 00:02:02,009 --> 00:02:03,913 I'll see if he's home. 42 00:02:03,947 --> 00:02:06,553 Or conscious. 43 00:02:06,586 --> 00:02:08,590 He's a good guy. He's just a big drinker. 44 00:02:08,623 --> 00:02:09,925 I also need a real-estate agent. 45 00:02:09,959 --> 00:02:12,965 The name of a good real-estate agent right away. 46 00:02:12,998 --> 00:02:15,337 Oh, there's a guy named Ray. 47 00:02:18,543 --> 00:02:22,551 Yeah. He's the best one. He's also the only one, so... 48 00:02:22,585 --> 00:02:24,689 A guy named Ray... 49 00:02:26,759 --> 00:02:28,897 Is there anything else I can help you with, Mr. Rose? 50 00:02:28,930 --> 00:02:33,071 Uh, yes. My wife and I will be taking breakfast in our room this morning. 51 00:02:33,106 --> 00:02:36,178 Eggs Florentine and a yoghurt parfait. 52 00:02:36,212 --> 00:02:37,881 Yeah. 53 00:02:37,915 --> 00:02:40,787 Unfortunately, due to a lack of everything, we don't do room service. 54 00:02:40,821 --> 00:02:45,464 Um, but you're always welcome to help yourself to our complimentary espresso bar. 55 00:02:47,033 --> 00:02:48,570 I'd rather drink the pipe water. 56 00:02:48,603 --> 00:02:50,240 I hear ya. 57 00:02:50,807 --> 00:02:51,809 Ew. 58 00:02:53,078 --> 00:02:55,617 Who even is this girl? 59 00:02:55,651 --> 00:02:58,690 He said that he would never date anyone with a toe ring and yet... 60 00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:01,162 Oh! 61 00:03:01,195 --> 00:03:02,230 Rub my back. 62 00:03:02,264 --> 00:03:03,667 What? No. 63 00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:06,104 I rubbed your back many a nights when you were little. 64 00:03:06,138 --> 00:03:08,176 Yeah, in exchange for half my allowance. 65 00:03:08,209 --> 00:03:11,315 Fine. You may select one silver piece 66 00:03:11,349 --> 00:03:13,520 from my accessory case. Right here. 67 00:03:13,553 --> 00:03:16,325 Oh, my God. She has "hakuna matata" tattooed on her foot. 68 00:03:16,359 --> 00:03:19,164 Stavros was seeing escorts before you. 69 00:03:19,198 --> 00:03:20,834 A Disney tattoo shouldn't be a surprise. 70 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:23,139 We said no social media post breakup. 71 00:03:23,172 --> 00:03:25,411 - We had a pact about that. - He dates hookers. 72 00:03:25,444 --> 00:03:28,817 Well, I'm sorry that I don't hire my friends at model castings. 73 00:03:28,850 --> 00:03:31,054 Actually, now that I think about it, where are those friends? 74 00:03:31,087 --> 00:03:32,891 They're just giving me space right now. 75 00:03:32,925 --> 00:03:34,228 - Because they're considerate people. - Oh, right. 76 00:03:34,261 --> 00:03:35,564 - Space. Yeah. - Okay. 77 00:03:35,597 --> 00:03:37,501 Well, I think it's best that he dumped you. 78 00:03:37,535 --> 00:03:39,238 He didn't dump me. 79 00:03:39,271 --> 00:03:42,143 We actually both decided that it was best that he see other people, so... 80 00:03:42,177 --> 00:03:46,385 Children, mindless bickering is a luxury we may no longer afford. 81 00:03:46,419 --> 00:03:50,761 You are blind to reality, and for that, I am most proud. 82 00:03:50,794 --> 00:03:52,865 But our world's evil twin... 83 00:03:52,898 --> 00:03:54,569 Okay, I'm taking my journal into the bathroom. 84 00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:57,240 - Has reared her ugly... - Where I will be shutting the door. 85 00:03:57,274 --> 00:03:59,679 David! You might actually want to hear this. 86 00:04:04,589 --> 00:04:06,459 Oh, hi! 87 00:04:06,493 --> 00:04:07,795 - Are you Ray? - Yes. 88 00:04:07,828 --> 00:04:09,130 You're late. 89 00:04:09,163 --> 00:04:10,834 Johnny Rose. My wife, Moira. 90 00:04:10,867 --> 00:04:12,805 - Hello. - Hi. 91 00:04:12,838 --> 00:04:14,441 Oh, I love your complexion. 92 00:04:16,011 --> 00:04:18,917 So, what can I help you with? 93 00:04:18,950 --> 00:04:21,756 Housing, investment opportunities? 94 00:04:21,789 --> 00:04:25,931 Mr. Rose and I would like to put a "for sale" sign on this incredible town. 95 00:04:25,964 --> 00:04:28,236 We're willing to settle for what we paid for it. 96 00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:30,907 More if we can get it, but definitely not less. 97 00:04:30,941 --> 00:04:34,549 Well, I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm not super optimistic. 98 00:04:34,582 --> 00:04:37,621 You know, because the government saw no value in Schitt's Creek. 99 00:04:37,655 --> 00:04:39,892 You know, when they repossessed your assets. 100 00:04:39,925 --> 00:04:41,462 You know, because of the humiliating... 101 00:04:41,495 --> 00:04:42,898 Yes, we know. We know. We know. 102 00:04:42,931 --> 00:04:44,669 Well, we'll do our best. 103 00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:47,340 First, we just have to get Roland to sign off on the listing 104 00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:48,677 and then we're good to go. 105 00:04:50,246 --> 00:04:54,521 I need to confer with the financial powerhouse of the family. 106 00:04:54,555 --> 00:04:58,529 Since when did the mayor need to sign off on this? 107 00:04:58,563 --> 00:05:01,736 Ray, since when did the mayor need sign off on this? 108 00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:04,875 Well, it's all right here. 109 00:05:09,819 --> 00:05:11,488 Son of a bitch! 110 00:05:16,064 --> 00:05:17,635 Oh, excuse me. 111 00:05:17,668 --> 00:05:20,072 I don't think my sheets have been cleaned. They smell like cigarettes. 112 00:05:20,105 --> 00:05:21,709 No, that's just the way they smell. 113 00:05:21,743 --> 00:05:24,247 Also, you can tell your dad that the plumber was busy. 114 00:05:24,281 --> 00:05:28,055 So I just pushed the bed up against the wall and put a bucket where the bed was. 115 00:05:28,088 --> 00:05:29,925 Okay. We're gonna be selling this town. 116 00:05:29,959 --> 00:05:31,663 So it's gonna be someone else's problem soon. 117 00:05:31,696 --> 00:05:33,399 But it's such a great place to live. 118 00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:36,338 I think you're funny. 119 00:05:36,372 --> 00:05:38,141 Thank you. 120 00:05:38,175 --> 00:05:39,745 Um... 121 00:05:39,779 --> 00:05:42,818 Look, I know this probably isn't your thing, 122 00:05:42,851 --> 00:05:45,924 but there's a tailgate party later. 123 00:05:45,957 --> 00:05:48,830 It's not exactly clubbing, but, you know, close. 124 00:05:48,863 --> 00:05:50,099 I don't know what "tailgate" means. 125 00:05:50,132 --> 00:05:53,038 In my mind, I'm picturing like a Klan rally. 126 00:05:53,071 --> 00:05:55,877 Yeah, just fewer pointy hats. 127 00:05:55,911 --> 00:05:58,582 Just townies with un-ironic haircuts. 128 00:05:58,616 --> 00:06:00,252 Okay. I'm gonna pass. 129 00:06:00,285 --> 00:06:02,390 I'm not really in the mood to be a victim of a hate crime tonight, so... 130 00:06:02,424 --> 00:06:04,494 Okay. 131 00:06:04,528 --> 00:06:06,398 Stavros just posted three more photos. 132 00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:08,870 Who are these jenky women? 133 00:06:08,903 --> 00:06:11,308 From the looks of it, they're blonde and mostly naked, so... 134 00:06:13,011 --> 00:06:16,953 Is there a bar in this place or are we in one of those religio-cult towns? 135 00:06:16,986 --> 00:06:19,123 I was just telling your brother about a party tonight. 136 00:06:19,157 --> 00:06:20,827 But he passed, so... 137 00:06:20,861 --> 00:06:24,100 Um, yes. Love that journey for me. 138 00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:26,505 Okay. So I'm looking for a guy 139 00:06:26,538 --> 00:06:29,711 like a mechanic or someone that hammers stuff. 140 00:06:30,646 --> 00:06:32,384 Um, at least 5'7". 141 00:06:32,417 --> 00:06:36,024 Kind of like full lips. Athletic body. 142 00:06:36,057 --> 00:06:37,694 Maybe a neck tattoo would be cute. 143 00:06:37,727 --> 00:06:40,099 No, it wouldn't. 144 00:06:40,132 --> 00:06:42,604 You know, I think this could be really good for me. 145 00:06:42,637 --> 00:06:44,073 So thank you. 146 00:06:44,541 --> 00:06:46,177 You're welcome. 147 00:06:46,211 --> 00:06:48,582 Yeah. I'm looking forward to it. 148 00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:50,152 Having all that fun. 149 00:06:53,058 --> 00:06:54,895 Wow. 150 00:06:58,268 --> 00:07:02,109 So Johnny Rose wants the ol' Johnny Hancock? 151 00:07:02,143 --> 00:07:04,781 - Well... - Shouldn't be a problem, Johnny. 152 00:07:04,815 --> 00:07:06,785 I'm happy to sign off on the listing, okay? 153 00:07:06,819 --> 00:07:08,689 Well, thank you very much, Roland. Appreciate it. 154 00:07:08,722 --> 00:07:10,693 Sure. Why don't you come over tonight and pick it up? 155 00:07:11,495 --> 00:07:13,366 Uh, no. Mr. Mayor, I... 156 00:07:13,399 --> 00:07:15,470 No, no. Roland, a signature, that's all I need. 157 00:07:15,503 --> 00:07:16,906 Johnny, look, here is what you're gonna do. 158 00:07:16,939 --> 00:07:18,676 You're gonna grab the kids, you're gonna grab Moira, 159 00:07:18,709 --> 00:07:20,012 you're gonna come over, 160 00:07:20,045 --> 00:07:22,750 we're gonna sit down like civilized people, have a few laughs, 161 00:07:22,784 --> 00:07:26,124 and then at the end of the evening we'll get to the big signing, okay? 162 00:07:26,157 --> 00:07:28,061 Right. Okay. Honestly, Roland, it's just a... 163 00:07:28,095 --> 00:07:30,800 It's just a signature. A flick of the wrist. That's it. 164 00:07:30,833 --> 00:07:33,539 You're not rejecting my hospitality, are you, Johnny? 165 00:07:33,572 --> 00:07:35,142 Because that really wouldn't be a good way 166 00:07:35,175 --> 00:07:36,845 to start things off, I don't think. 167 00:07:36,879 --> 00:07:41,387 No, no. I'm not... I'd love to come to dinner. Are you kidding me? 168 00:07:41,422 --> 00:07:43,091 No. I just thought, let's do business first, 169 00:07:43,125 --> 00:07:45,395 get the signature, and then dinner. 170 00:07:45,430 --> 00:07:49,037 Johnny, you want that. To get that you need this. 171 00:07:49,070 --> 00:07:50,806 So let's just do this my way. 172 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:53,712 Yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah, dinner it is. 173 00:07:53,746 --> 00:07:57,454 Yes, dinner it is, attaboy. Okay. 174 00:07:59,791 --> 00:08:02,630 How did you not get the contract signed, John? 175 00:08:02,664 --> 00:08:06,572 Can one thing, just one thing, not be easy in this town? 176 00:08:06,605 --> 00:08:09,511 Look, Roland's playing games, honey. He's playing games. 177 00:08:09,544 --> 00:08:11,648 So this is something we have to do. 178 00:08:11,682 --> 00:08:14,253 Okay. Well, I would love to go, 179 00:08:14,287 --> 00:08:15,723 but I've actually double-booked myself. 180 00:08:15,756 --> 00:08:19,498 I'm going to a truck party with the front desk girl 181 00:08:19,531 --> 00:08:21,802 and obviously she'd be super devastated 182 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:25,375 if I bailed last minute. So I can't. I can't go. 183 00:08:25,409 --> 00:08:28,315 Okay. Well, cancel it because you're coming to dinner. 184 00:08:28,348 --> 00:08:29,383 No. 185 00:08:29,417 --> 00:08:30,953 One of you kids has to come. 186 00:08:30,987 --> 00:08:32,724 David, you've got nothing on tonight. 187 00:08:32,757 --> 00:08:33,892 How do you know that? 188 00:08:33,926 --> 00:08:35,730 What do you have on tonight? 189 00:08:35,763 --> 00:08:37,734 - What? - Good, it's settled. 190 00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:39,037 Or you could go alone, John. 191 00:08:39,070 --> 00:08:41,908 Since you are the one who did not get the contract signed. 192 00:08:41,942 --> 00:08:46,618 Moira, Roland wants the family there tonight. 193 00:08:46,652 --> 00:08:48,589 So my family has to go tonight. 194 00:08:48,622 --> 00:08:50,292 Let me explain something about business. 195 00:08:50,325 --> 00:08:52,964 - Don't you dare... - It's a dance. 196 00:08:52,997 --> 00:08:55,670 And sometimes you lead. And sometimes you follow. 197 00:08:55,703 --> 00:08:57,474 And which are you doing now, John? 198 00:08:57,507 --> 00:08:59,878 I am leading, Moira. 199 00:08:59,911 --> 00:09:02,750 In a Roland game, I think you're following. 200 00:09:02,784 --> 00:09:08,996 Following in the game but leading in the dance, right? 201 00:09:09,029 --> 00:09:11,267 And he thinks he's leading in the dance, 202 00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:15,375 but only because I've allowed him to think... 203 00:09:15,409 --> 00:09:16,712 Are you listening to this? 204 00:09:16,745 --> 00:09:18,716 - Hmm? - It doesn't matter. I'm leading. 205 00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:22,022 I shall bathe. 206 00:09:22,055 --> 00:09:26,097 And if I bang my head and slip beneath the surface, 207 00:09:26,131 --> 00:09:28,201 so be it, Mr. Rose. 208 00:09:30,506 --> 00:09:32,109 What's this? 209 00:09:32,143 --> 00:09:35,983 Yeah, Stevie called. Apparently the plumber's in rehab. 210 00:09:37,085 --> 00:09:39,691 Um, and you also... You have something on your... 211 00:09:39,724 --> 00:09:41,494 I don't know what that is, but it's a thing. 212 00:09:41,528 --> 00:09:42,764 David, for the gate party tonight, 213 00:09:42,797 --> 00:09:44,467 is it more of a leather pants... 214 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,437 Son of a bitch! 215 00:09:48,809 --> 00:09:50,980 Thanks for having us, Jocelyn. Thank you. 216 00:09:51,013 --> 00:09:54,187 Make yourselves at home. Roland's just on the toilet. 217 00:09:54,220 --> 00:09:56,658 Oh, what a surprise. 218 00:09:56,692 --> 00:10:01,768 You have a really lovely home. It's really understated. 219 00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:05,610 Thank you. I get a lot of my ideas from magazines. 220 00:10:05,643 --> 00:10:06,878 Don't be modest. 221 00:10:06,912 --> 00:10:11,120 This is 100% you and only you. 222 00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:16,163 Hey, okay. It's the Roses. 223 00:10:16,197 --> 00:10:17,834 Come on, folks, please sit. 224 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,971 Come on, I'm just the mayor, for crying out loud. 225 00:10:21,541 --> 00:10:24,046 Ooh, hors d'oeuvres. 226 00:10:24,079 --> 00:10:26,351 That's too bad about Alexis. 227 00:10:26,384 --> 00:10:29,457 Well, it is. But we did bring the life of the party. 228 00:10:29,490 --> 00:10:31,160 Our David. 229 00:10:31,193 --> 00:10:34,601 Well, I guess that just means there's more for you and me, right, Dave? 230 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,373 I hope everybody likes a cheeseball. 231 00:10:37,406 --> 00:10:39,878 - Cheeseball? - Ooh! 232 00:10:39,911 --> 00:10:42,383 It's the treat that keeps our love life percolating. 233 00:10:42,416 --> 00:10:44,520 It's like an aphrodisiac with him. 234 00:10:44,553 --> 00:10:46,123 Go ahead. 235 00:10:46,156 --> 00:10:49,196 Oh, yes, can't wait. Can't wait. Mmm. 236 00:10:49,229 --> 00:10:52,503 So, David, tell us about yourself. 237 00:10:52,536 --> 00:10:55,643 - I hear you're a gallerist. - Oh. Wow! 238 00:10:55,676 --> 00:10:57,245 There's a 10-dollar word for you. 239 00:10:57,279 --> 00:10:58,749 David owned a brilliant gallery. 240 00:10:58,782 --> 00:11:00,051 Tell them about your last show. 241 00:11:00,084 --> 00:11:01,788 - It's not... It's not... - You must, please. 242 00:11:01,822 --> 00:11:03,224 Tell them, David, tell them. 243 00:11:03,257 --> 00:11:05,930 The gallery worked with Janet Kempfluugen. 244 00:11:05,963 --> 00:11:08,067 Kempfluugen? 245 00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:11,206 She's a Brooklyn-based performance artist. She's a big deal. 246 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:17,285 Anyway, she would walk into the space wearing a clay mask of a fawn, 247 00:11:17,319 --> 00:11:21,628 remove her clothing and breastfeed members of the audience. 248 00:11:21,662 --> 00:11:24,734 It was a commentary on income inequality. 249 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:30,144 - Wow. - Heady stuff. 250 00:11:30,178 --> 00:11:31,381 Yeah. Hmm... 251 00:11:34,286 --> 00:11:35,856 Lip gloss? 252 00:11:35,890 --> 00:11:37,025 No, thank you. 253 00:11:37,058 --> 00:11:39,764 I wish I could pull off the whole gluey, no makeup look. 254 00:11:39,798 --> 00:11:41,434 It's so French. 255 00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:42,904 Thank you. 256 00:11:42,937 --> 00:11:44,473 So, why are you single? 257 00:11:44,507 --> 00:11:45,910 Who said I'm single? 258 00:11:45,943 --> 00:11:48,147 Girl, we are on the hunt. I hope you are single. 259 00:11:48,180 --> 00:11:50,351 Oh, no, no. I'm not "on the hunt." 260 00:11:50,385 --> 00:11:51,688 A town this size, 261 00:11:51,722 --> 00:11:53,692 you've either been through 'em or know way too much about 'em. 262 00:11:53,726 --> 00:11:57,934 Okay. I'm gonna go do a lap and this swan is best when she flies solo. 263 00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,637 So you're gonna be okay? 264 00:11:59,671 --> 00:12:00,806 - I live here. - Okay, okay. 265 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:02,810 - Am I good? Yes? Okay. - Mmm-hmm. 266 00:12:02,844 --> 00:12:04,781 - Thank you. - You're not cold? 267 00:12:06,584 --> 00:12:08,455 Chuck, beer! 268 00:12:12,062 --> 00:12:14,199 I know it's gotta be in here somewhere. 269 00:12:14,232 --> 00:12:16,236 Slippery little bastard. 270 00:12:16,270 --> 00:12:18,676 Maybe a fork would help, Roland? 271 00:12:18,709 --> 00:12:21,280 That's sweet. Thank you. I'm okay. I'll find it. 272 00:12:22,750 --> 00:12:25,856 So is that the contract over there? 273 00:12:25,890 --> 00:12:28,427 Yeah, it is. You know, I gotta be honest with you. 274 00:12:28,461 --> 00:12:31,868 I tried reading that thing. It is really boring. 275 00:12:31,902 --> 00:12:34,673 Ah, got it! There she is! Okay. 276 00:12:37,546 --> 00:12:38,615 Oh! 277 00:12:38,648 --> 00:12:41,554 Oh, my God, honey. Oh, that is good. 278 00:12:42,122 --> 00:12:43,424 That is good. 279 00:12:43,457 --> 00:12:46,130 I believe you were saying, John... 280 00:12:46,163 --> 00:12:49,838 Yes. This reminds me of a merger I put together in Zurich. 281 00:12:49,871 --> 00:12:52,175 It was two families breaking bread together, and we... 282 00:12:53,310 --> 00:12:55,883 - Very, very... - My head. My head hurts. 283 00:12:55,916 --> 00:12:57,252 No! Are you okay? 284 00:12:57,285 --> 00:12:59,724 I think it's the migraines that I get a lot. 285 00:12:59,758 --> 00:13:02,428 Oh, I think that'll pass, David. 286 00:13:02,462 --> 00:13:05,168 I don't think it's gonna pass. I don't think it's passing. 287 00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:06,671 Migraines can be so awful. 288 00:13:06,704 --> 00:13:08,776 Yeah, well, not this one. Not this one. 289 00:13:08,809 --> 00:13:11,581 Yeah, you know what? I think I need to go. 290 00:13:11,614 --> 00:13:14,788 I think you need to eat something and that will help. 291 00:13:14,821 --> 00:13:16,423 No, I think I need to go back. 292 00:13:16,456 --> 00:13:17,659 Take me with you, please. 293 00:13:17,693 --> 00:13:19,029 David, sit down. Sit down. Sit back down. 294 00:13:19,062 --> 00:13:20,131 Jocelyn, thank you so much for dinner. 295 00:13:20,164 --> 00:13:21,835 Why don't you lie down on our mattress? 296 00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:23,839 The sheets are in the dryer, but there is rubber pad. 297 00:13:23,872 --> 00:13:25,174 No. Thanks. 298 00:13:25,208 --> 00:13:27,112 - David! Don't go near the door. - Thank you. 299 00:13:27,145 --> 00:13:30,018 David! Do not open that door. 300 00:13:34,492 --> 00:13:36,798 I brought vodka as a house gift. 301 00:13:36,832 --> 00:13:38,567 I don't see it. 302 00:13:53,030 --> 00:13:54,667 That's what I say. 303 00:13:55,234 --> 00:13:56,503 Crazy. 304 00:14:02,482 --> 00:14:04,252 I'm Twyla. 305 00:14:05,054 --> 00:14:07,325 From the cafe. Yeah. 306 00:14:07,358 --> 00:14:09,798 Yeah. David Rose. 307 00:14:09,831 --> 00:14:11,400 I'm a little drunk. 308 00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:12,602 Mmm-hmm. 309 00:14:12,635 --> 00:14:14,406 - Hey. - Hey, Stevie. 310 00:14:16,143 --> 00:14:19,549 I am going to roast myself a marshmallow. 311 00:14:19,582 --> 00:14:21,687 - Anybody? - No. Thanks. 312 00:14:21,721 --> 00:14:23,057 - You're all good? - No. 313 00:14:23,090 --> 00:14:24,426 - No, thanks. - Great. 314 00:14:26,130 --> 00:14:28,701 I don't know why you were so reluctant to show up here. 315 00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:31,206 You fit right in. 316 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:32,877 Well, my sister texted me "help." 317 00:14:32,910 --> 00:14:34,679 And my mind went straight to Deliverance. 318 00:14:34,713 --> 00:14:36,050 So I wasn't too far off. 319 00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:39,656 That's funny, because your sister texted me from across the bonfire 320 00:14:39,689 --> 00:14:41,660 and said you'd probably show up here 321 00:14:41,693 --> 00:14:44,733 because you were bored and lonely and had nothing better to do. 322 00:14:44,767 --> 00:14:46,804 Well, my sister is a broken shell of a human being. 323 00:14:46,838 --> 00:14:48,707 That's where that's coming from, so... 324 00:14:48,741 --> 00:14:50,846 Oh, okay. 325 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:53,484 Oh. Well, she seems fine. 326 00:14:53,517 --> 00:14:56,958 Are you serious? That's so funny. That's so funny. 327 00:14:56,992 --> 00:15:00,098 So I guess you're free to go. 328 00:15:04,372 --> 00:15:07,947 I'm gonna need a stiff drink to get through this. Stiff. 329 00:15:13,524 --> 00:15:18,434 So, Jocelyn, you were saying that you teach high school, 330 00:15:18,467 --> 00:15:20,204 or you want to finish high school? 331 00:15:20,238 --> 00:15:22,375 I'm not sure. I couldn't hear over your husband's chewing. 332 00:15:23,912 --> 00:15:25,815 I teach high school. 333 00:15:25,849 --> 00:15:27,552 Oh, you're a saint. 334 00:15:27,585 --> 00:15:31,360 I love it. I love connecting with the young people. 335 00:15:31,393 --> 00:15:33,630 Although I know those boys are undressing me 336 00:15:33,664 --> 00:15:35,634 every time I drop a piece of chalk. 337 00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:38,174 Yeah. Well, maybe we should hold onto our chalk. Hmm? 338 00:15:38,207 --> 00:15:40,011 They're boys. It's cute. 339 00:15:40,444 --> 00:15:41,713 John... 340 00:15:41,746 --> 00:15:43,450 Oh. Ah-ha! 341 00:15:43,484 --> 00:15:47,625 There it is! There it is! The Vivien Blake bitch face! 342 00:15:47,658 --> 00:15:49,964 - Excuse me? - I didn't want to say anything, 343 00:15:49,998 --> 00:15:53,304 but you were my favorite character on Sunrise Bay. 344 00:15:54,539 --> 00:15:56,310 - Thanks. - It's true. 345 00:15:56,343 --> 00:15:59,249 He lived for Sunrise Bay. 346 00:15:59,282 --> 00:16:03,324 I could be doing cartwheels in a thong in front of that television, 347 00:16:03,357 --> 00:16:04,526 which I have done, 348 00:16:04,559 --> 00:16:08,167 but if your show was on, I was as good as wallpaper. 349 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,504 Hey, how many people did you slap on that show? 350 00:16:10,538 --> 00:16:11,975 I don't care. 351 00:16:12,008 --> 00:16:14,512 She can't remember. There were so many slaps. 352 00:16:14,546 --> 00:16:20,058 Enough about me. Let's talk about you signing this contract. 353 00:16:20,091 --> 00:16:23,297 Well, somebody is in a little hurry, isn't she? 354 00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:25,034 No, no. We're not in a hurry. No. 355 00:16:25,068 --> 00:16:27,805 - Aren't we? Really? - No. We're not. No. 356 00:16:28,674 --> 00:16:31,113 There it is again! Bam! 357 00:16:31,146 --> 00:16:34,086 - Okay, I'll tell you what, Vivien. - Moira. 358 00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:36,590 - I will go ahead and sign off on the sale... - Moira. 359 00:16:36,923 --> 00:16:38,060 Good. 360 00:16:38,094 --> 00:16:39,429 For a slap. 361 00:16:43,537 --> 00:16:44,772 Excuse me? 362 00:16:44,806 --> 00:16:47,378 I've always wanted to be slapped by Vivien Blake. 363 00:16:47,412 --> 00:16:50,418 It's true. We've role-played it like a thousand times. 364 00:16:50,451 --> 00:16:52,355 - Mmm-hmm. - But it is not the real thing. 365 00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:55,694 - You'd like me to slap you? - Yeah. 366 00:16:55,728 --> 00:16:56,863 I don't think that I... 367 00:16:56,896 --> 00:16:58,834 Well, don't think. Just do it. Slap me. 368 00:16:58,867 --> 00:17:00,704 - I won't. - Slap him, Moira. 369 00:17:00,738 --> 00:17:01,873 Go ahead and slap him. 370 00:17:01,906 --> 00:17:03,410 - Slap him. Slap my husband, Moira. - Just slap me. 371 00:17:03,444 --> 00:17:04,646 John, I won't! 372 00:17:04,679 --> 00:17:06,050 - Slap him or I'll slap him. - Slap him, Moira! 373 00:17:06,083 --> 00:17:07,218 - Slap me! - I won't. 374 00:17:07,252 --> 00:17:09,990 - Slap me like a bitch! - Sign the fucking contract! 375 00:17:20,478 --> 00:17:21,513 Okay. 376 00:17:22,848 --> 00:17:24,286 Um, this has been a lot of fun, 377 00:17:24,319 --> 00:17:27,458 but I'm starting to smell a little too much like campfire 378 00:17:27,492 --> 00:17:32,468 and denim and plaid and stuff, so... Bye. 379 00:17:32,502 --> 00:17:34,506 Your choices are beer or beer. 380 00:17:34,539 --> 00:17:37,212 I assume a pint glass is out of the question? 381 00:17:37,912 --> 00:17:39,949 You came! How was dinner? 382 00:17:39,982 --> 00:17:41,120 Ah, worse than this. 383 00:17:41,153 --> 00:17:43,124 Although, at this point, it's sort of a moving target. 384 00:17:43,157 --> 00:17:44,392 Here, hold this. 385 00:17:44,426 --> 00:17:45,794 So there are no guys for me here. 386 00:17:45,828 --> 00:17:48,334 But it was kind of nice to just, like, flex the old muscle. 387 00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:49,802 Put your thumb over the tube. 388 00:17:51,406 --> 00:17:53,644 I kind of wanna just go for it but... 389 00:17:53,677 --> 00:17:56,783 - Sometimes it doesn't work out, I guess. - Yeah. 390 00:17:56,816 --> 00:17:59,556 - Okay, now put the tube in your mouth. - What? 391 00:17:59,589 --> 00:18:01,560 - Yeah. And just open your throat. - Oh. 392 00:18:01,593 --> 00:18:03,530 And go down, 'cause you're tall. 393 00:18:03,564 --> 00:18:05,501 David, how long are you gonna be doing this? 394 00:18:05,534 --> 00:18:09,376 Yeah. Okay, just come get me after you vomit, okay? 395 00:18:09,409 --> 00:18:11,513 Just open your throat! 396 00:18:14,619 --> 00:18:15,621 You! 397 00:18:19,162 --> 00:18:20,864 Chug! Chug! Chug! 398 00:18:20,898 --> 00:18:22,702 Chug! Chug! Chug! 399 00:18:36,663 --> 00:18:38,767 Are you ready? Can we move? 400 00:18:41,072 --> 00:18:42,074 Yeah. 401 00:18:57,036 --> 00:19:01,946 And that's the last one there! Done! 402 00:19:03,048 --> 00:19:04,185 All-righty. 403 00:19:05,220 --> 00:19:07,825 There you go, Johnny, congratulations. 404 00:19:07,858 --> 00:19:10,498 Thank you very much. Thank you. 405 00:19:10,531 --> 00:19:12,602 Just remember one thing, okay? 406 00:19:12,635 --> 00:19:16,443 This is my town and you're gonna play by my rules. 407 00:19:17,144 --> 00:19:18,680 Comprende? 408 00:19:22,187 --> 00:19:24,926 I'm just messing with you, man! Come on! 409 00:19:24,959 --> 00:19:26,996 Well... 410 00:19:27,030 --> 00:19:28,065 Or am I? 411 00:19:31,038 --> 00:19:32,675 No. I am. 412 00:19:32,708 --> 00:19:35,314 - Moira! Shall we? - Yeah. 413 00:19:35,348 --> 00:19:37,785 Jocelyn, thank you for an unforgettable evening, 414 00:19:37,818 --> 00:19:40,022 I will be dining out on this for years. 415 00:19:40,056 --> 00:19:41,259 I'll send you the recipes. 416 00:19:41,292 --> 00:19:44,999 Yes, Jocelyn, words can't express. 417 00:19:45,032 --> 00:19:48,173 Seriously, Johnny, good luck selling the town. 418 00:19:48,206 --> 00:19:49,576 You're sure gonna need it. 419 00:19:49,609 --> 00:19:53,216 - Why's that? - Well, it took a while to sell the first time. 420 00:19:53,249 --> 00:19:56,556 I mean, it was on the market for, like, what, 20 years 421 00:19:56,590 --> 00:19:57,692 before you bought it. 422 00:19:58,594 --> 00:20:00,129 Twenty years? 423 00:20:00,163 --> 00:20:02,234 Yeah. I mean, most people just thought it was a waste of money, 424 00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:03,670 that it would never sell, you know? 425 00:20:03,704 --> 00:20:05,674 Who in their right mind would buy it? 426 00:20:06,676 --> 00:20:08,447 Then along come you. 427 00:20:15,193 --> 00:20:17,164 John, did you know 428 00:20:17,197 --> 00:20:20,604 this town was on the market for 20 years before we bought it? 429 00:20:20,638 --> 00:20:21,840 How would I know that? 430 00:20:21,873 --> 00:20:24,946 Why would I know that? I didn't know that. 431 00:20:24,979 --> 00:20:27,685 But look, let's look at the bright side. 432 00:20:27,718 --> 00:20:31,192 There is no bright side. This is the dark side of the moon, Johnny. 433 00:20:31,225 --> 00:20:33,095 And we'll be here another 20 years, 434 00:20:33,128 --> 00:20:35,801 tucked in a crater, lost to all. 435 00:20:35,834 --> 00:20:38,740 Well, you know what? I think that's being a little dramatic. 436 00:20:38,774 --> 00:20:41,011 Yes! It's dramatic! 437 00:20:41,044 --> 00:20:45,220 Sweetheart! We got the thing signed, okay? 438 00:20:45,253 --> 00:20:48,092 And if we have to fix this town up before we sell it, 439 00:20:48,125 --> 00:20:49,395 then we fix it up. 440 00:20:49,428 --> 00:20:51,199 We fix it up, bit by bit. 441 00:20:51,232 --> 00:20:52,902 And it's gonna take hard work. 442 00:20:52,935 --> 00:20:55,106 But we can do it because we're Roses. 443 00:20:55,139 --> 00:20:57,745 And there's nothing we can't do if we put our minds... 444 00:20:57,778 --> 00:20:59,649 Hi, hi, hi. You guys are being super loud right now. 445 00:20:59,682 --> 00:21:01,219 I can hear you through the headphones. 446 00:21:01,252 --> 00:21:04,325 So if you can just wrap it up in here... 447 00:21:04,358 --> 00:21:07,264 - Ten to a five. Thanks. - Night, night. 448 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:12,441 I feel good about this. I really do.