1 00:00:00,976 --> 00:00:03,111 "Dear M, hope this helps, 2 00:00:03,145 --> 00:00:07,315 "I only wish I could do more, xoxo J.S.P." 3 00:00:07,349 --> 00:00:09,317 Justine St. Pierre! 4 00:00:09,351 --> 00:00:12,821 David, one of my dear friends is finally reaching out, 5 00:00:12,855 --> 00:00:15,357 and you know what, I knew it would be Justine. 6 00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:17,893 She can be an angry drunk, but we were always close. 7 00:00:19,895 --> 00:00:23,065 "Congratulations on your Allez Vous starter kit." 8 00:00:23,098 --> 00:00:24,266 That frigid whore. 9 00:00:24,299 --> 00:00:25,333 What's Allez Vous? 10 00:00:25,367 --> 00:00:26,569 It's a scam, 11 00:00:26,602 --> 00:00:29,104 it's her stupid cosmetics company. - 12 00:00:29,137 --> 00:00:31,674 It's a pyramid scheme for desperate housewives 13 00:00:31,707 --> 00:00:33,141 and struggling actors. 14 00:00:33,175 --> 00:00:34,610 Well, how much can we make from this? 15 00:00:34,643 --> 00:00:37,212 David, it's an insult. We're sending it back. 16 00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:38,581 Well, apparently you can win an Audi. 17 00:00:39,214 --> 00:00:40,549 What color? 18 00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:42,117 A champagne Audi, look at that. 19 00:00:42,150 --> 00:00:44,219 As if you could ever sell 20 00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:46,121 enough of this crap to get a car. 21 00:00:46,154 --> 00:00:48,491 Well, Kristi Stubbs and her team out of Montreal 22 00:00:48,524 --> 00:00:50,225 have sold enough to get the car, so... 23 00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:52,561 Don't believe everything you read, dear, please. 24 00:00:55,163 --> 00:00:56,532 Burn it. Except this mascara. 25 00:01:03,906 --> 00:01:07,375 So, Ray can't lend me his car today, because he has to drive 26 00:01:07,409 --> 00:01:09,912 his 92-year-old mother somewhere. 27 00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:12,915 Where does a 92-year-old woman need to go? 28 00:01:12,948 --> 00:01:15,117 I don't know, John, perhaps the hospital? 29 00:01:15,150 --> 00:01:17,753 Yeah, well, it's just I needed that car 30 00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:19,755 to get to my appointment today. 31 00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:21,123 What appointment? 32 00:01:21,156 --> 00:01:23,358 Well, you know, the, uh... 33 00:01:23,391 --> 00:01:25,994 The thing that I had, I had a thing that I... 34 00:01:26,028 --> 00:01:27,395 What thing? 35 00:01:27,429 --> 00:01:30,799 An unemployment thing, okay? 36 00:01:30,833 --> 00:01:32,701 To get unemployment insurance, 37 00:01:32,735 --> 00:01:34,036 I have a meeting this afternoon, 38 00:01:34,069 --> 00:01:36,972 and now I have to grovel to Roland, 39 00:01:37,005 --> 00:01:39,374 to get his truck, in order to get 40 00:01:39,407 --> 00:01:41,744 to Elmdale, to get this money... 41 00:01:41,777 --> 00:01:43,912 Well, I think you're brave, 42 00:01:43,946 --> 00:01:45,548 and while I didn't see us 43 00:01:45,581 --> 00:01:46,915 living off of food stamps, 44 00:01:46,949 --> 00:01:50,185 I think there is something very masculine 45 00:01:50,218 --> 00:01:52,888 about the way you're taking control of the situation. 46 00:01:52,921 --> 00:01:55,524 Sweetheart, I'm about to beg for a truck, 47 00:01:55,558 --> 00:01:57,292 in order to beg for money, 48 00:01:57,325 --> 00:02:00,162 I think you've gotta raise that masculinity bar just... 49 00:02:00,195 --> 00:02:01,329 Just a little. 50 00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:09,638 Roland. 51 00:02:09,672 --> 00:02:11,506 - Hey, Johnny. - Hi. 52 00:02:11,540 --> 00:02:13,576 - What? - Hi. 53 00:02:13,609 --> 00:02:14,677 Can't hear you. 54 00:02:14,710 --> 00:02:15,844 Hey, turn the motor off. 55 00:02:15,878 --> 00:02:17,846 I can't hear you, the motor's on. 56 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:20,248 Turn the motor off! 57 00:02:20,282 --> 00:02:22,685 Turn the motor off, you dumb son of a... 58 00:02:23,819 --> 00:02:26,288 Well, what can I do for you, 59 00:02:26,321 --> 00:02:28,023 you dumb son of a... 60 00:02:29,692 --> 00:02:33,328 Hey Roland, I need to borrow your truck. 61 00:02:33,361 --> 00:02:36,264 I've got a very important appointment today, 62 00:02:36,298 --> 00:02:38,567 and, uh, I sure could use it. 63 00:02:38,601 --> 00:02:40,869 Well, of course, Johnny. You know my truck is your truck, 64 00:02:40,903 --> 00:02:42,137 any time you wanna borrow it, 65 00:02:42,170 --> 00:02:43,739 it's fine with me. No problem whatsoever. 66 00:02:43,772 --> 00:02:45,173 Well, that's very nice. 67 00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:47,375 Listen, as the owner of the truck, 68 00:02:47,409 --> 00:02:49,177 would you do me one favor though? 69 00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:50,245 When you return it, 70 00:02:50,278 --> 00:02:51,647 can you bring the seats back up? 71 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:53,281 - The way I had 'em... I'd appreciate that. - I do. 72 00:02:53,315 --> 00:02:54,449 Well, you don't. 73 00:02:54,482 --> 00:02:55,684 But if you could, I'd appreciate it. 74 00:02:55,718 --> 00:02:56,819 Well, I think I do. 75 00:02:56,852 --> 00:02:58,153 Here's the keys, 76 00:02:58,186 --> 00:03:00,455 and, uh, also, when you return it, 77 00:03:00,488 --> 00:03:02,324 if you don't mind just backing it in, 78 00:03:02,357 --> 00:03:03,558 because in the morning... 79 00:03:03,592 --> 00:03:05,327 Yeah, I'll back it in, I'll back it in. 80 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:07,462 ...my neck like that, if you could back it in... 81 00:03:07,495 --> 00:03:08,664 Sure, I'll back it in. 82 00:03:09,431 --> 00:03:11,333 The wiper fluid, um, 83 00:03:11,366 --> 00:03:13,736 I had to replace sooner than usual. 84 00:03:13,769 --> 00:03:14,870 Now, I'm not asking... 85 00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:15,971 I don't touch the wiper fluid. 86 00:03:16,004 --> 00:03:17,640 - Well, okay, somebody did. - I never use it. 87 00:03:17,673 --> 00:03:20,909 Yeah, well, I guess your "Imaginary friend" uses wiper fluid, right? 88 00:03:20,943 --> 00:03:22,611 I don't know. I'm not asking for payback here, 89 00:03:22,645 --> 00:03:24,179 but whatever you think is fair would be terrific. 90 00:03:24,212 --> 00:03:25,781 Okay, I never use it, though. 91 00:03:25,814 --> 00:03:27,983 The radio was at a four. I like it at a 10, so... 92 00:03:28,016 --> 00:03:29,517 Okay, you know what, I'm gonna walk, so... 93 00:03:29,551 --> 00:03:30,753 - Where are you going? - I'm gonna walk, Roland. 94 00:03:30,786 --> 00:03:32,254 What do you mean you're walking? 95 00:03:32,287 --> 00:03:34,122 - No, no, the truck's right there. - I don't need your truck. 96 00:03:34,156 --> 00:03:35,891 It's gonna be there all day. 97 00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:38,026 I'm just asking, maybe you could put a little air in the tires 98 00:03:38,060 --> 00:03:39,227 from time to time. 99 00:03:39,728 --> 00:03:40,929 Bonjour. 100 00:03:40,963 --> 00:03:43,398 Now that you've opened your Allez Vous starter kit, 101 00:03:43,431 --> 00:03:45,934 let's begin with those essential tips and tricks 102 00:03:45,968 --> 00:03:49,905 you'll need to make up to 600,000 dollars a year. 103 00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:51,674 That's 50,000 a month. 104 00:03:51,707 --> 00:03:54,209 That's 7,000 dollars a week. 105 00:03:54,242 --> 00:03:57,646 No, it isn't. She didn't finish high school. 106 00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:00,048 Now, you've heard of other get rich quick schemes, 107 00:04:00,082 --> 00:04:02,718 but this isn't a scheme, it's a system. 108 00:04:02,751 --> 00:04:04,920 Look at the work she's had done. 109 00:04:06,321 --> 00:04:07,389 It's grotesque. 110 00:04:07,422 --> 00:04:08,523 Go grab a pen and paper, 111 00:04:08,556 --> 00:04:09,725 because I'm about to share with you 112 00:04:09,758 --> 00:04:11,626 some essential tips and tricks 113 00:04:11,660 --> 00:04:14,396 to maximize your sales productivity. 114 00:04:14,429 --> 00:04:16,298 If this seems like a dream come true, 115 00:04:16,331 --> 00:04:20,335 you need to pay attention to my tips and tricks. 116 00:04:20,368 --> 00:04:21,904 But the best part is, the products sell themselves. 117 00:04:21,937 --> 00:04:23,571 Okay, where are the tips and tricks? 118 00:04:23,605 --> 00:04:26,208 We've been watching this for five minutes, she's talking in circles. 119 00:04:26,241 --> 00:04:28,143 Because it's a scam. 120 00:04:28,176 --> 00:04:29,244 But if your father's willing 121 00:04:29,277 --> 00:04:30,746 to go out there and sell his soul, dear, 122 00:04:30,779 --> 00:04:32,981 the least we can do is try to sell this garbage. 123 00:04:34,783 --> 00:04:36,551 - What's this? - Huh? 124 00:04:36,584 --> 00:04:39,121 Oh, it's a sunless bronzing. 125 00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:41,556 Okay, let's sell it. How hard could it be? 126 00:04:41,589 --> 00:04:46,228 You sell you. You sell you using Allez Vous. 127 00:04:46,261 --> 00:04:49,131 Okay, we're going to have a luncheon. - A luncheon? 128 00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:51,900 Mm-hmm. A luncheon for our little townie friends. 129 00:04:52,634 --> 00:04:54,136 It's the least we could do. 130 00:04:54,937 --> 00:04:56,538 Hmm. 131 00:04:59,041 --> 00:05:00,475 Twyla? 132 00:05:00,508 --> 00:05:02,677 - Hey, what's up? - Nothing. 133 00:05:02,711 --> 00:05:05,347 So, um, Ted ordered toast, 134 00:05:05,380 --> 00:05:07,415 not home fries, and he got home fries. 135 00:05:07,449 --> 00:05:09,217 So, would you just be a peach, and... - Oh, sorry. 136 00:05:09,251 --> 00:05:11,820 No, you know what? It's okay. I'm good with it. 137 00:05:11,854 --> 00:05:14,923 I like home fries. I'm gonna eat 'em, so... 138 00:05:14,957 --> 00:05:17,025 First day of a cleanse, so she's a little... 139 00:05:19,127 --> 00:05:20,195 Okay, so I can take it back. 140 00:05:20,228 --> 00:05:21,329 That'd actually be great, 141 00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:22,530 - if you wouldn't... - No. No, thank you. 142 00:05:22,564 --> 00:05:25,367 Lex, if you'll just let me eat my breakfast here. 143 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:26,735 It's not like there's broken glass in it. 144 00:05:26,769 --> 00:05:28,203 There's broken glass? 145 00:05:28,236 --> 00:05:29,671 No, there is not broken glass in it, 146 00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:32,908 just a lot of great flavors that I can't wait to taste. 147 00:05:33,909 --> 00:05:34,943 Great. 148 00:05:36,078 --> 00:05:37,279 Thank you. 149 00:05:39,214 --> 00:05:40,548 I'm just trying to help you. 150 00:05:40,582 --> 00:05:43,051 Well, if you wanna help, eat something. 151 00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:46,554 I do not like what this cleanse is doing to your brain. 152 00:05:47,522 --> 00:05:49,024 You're being very rude. 153 00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,426 I'm sorry for yelling. 154 00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:04,439 Ain't she a beaut? 155 00:06:04,472 --> 00:06:07,442 Boy, is she ever, Bob. You know, I, uh... 156 00:06:07,475 --> 00:06:09,311 I woke up this morning, I said to myself, 157 00:06:09,344 --> 00:06:11,279 "Johnny, you've gotta buy yourself a car." 158 00:06:11,313 --> 00:06:13,448 You may have a business meeting in Elmdale 159 00:06:13,481 --> 00:06:14,983 one day and you're gonna be in trouble. 160 00:06:15,017 --> 00:06:16,184 Oh, yeah, I wouldn't have thought 161 00:06:16,218 --> 00:06:17,485 this was your cup of tea. 162 00:06:17,519 --> 00:06:21,189 Oh, this is exactly what I was looking for. 163 00:06:21,223 --> 00:06:22,958 Yeah, I'd love to, uh, 164 00:06:22,991 --> 00:06:25,060 take this baby out for a test drive. 165 00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:27,863 Yeah? I've got the keys, let's take her for a spin. 166 00:06:27,896 --> 00:06:30,999 Not with you, Bob, I don't wanna bother you. 167 00:06:31,033 --> 00:06:32,667 It's no bother. 168 00:06:32,700 --> 00:06:35,003 I would just love to take this out myself, Bob, 169 00:06:35,037 --> 00:06:37,539 you know, a little peccadillo of mine when I'm buying a car. 170 00:06:37,572 --> 00:06:40,642 I like to experience the car one-on-one, 171 00:06:40,675 --> 00:06:43,445 just me and the machine, you know what I mean? 172 00:06:43,478 --> 00:06:45,447 No, I don't. 173 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:46,815 I just wanna take it out 174 00:06:46,849 --> 00:06:48,350 for a test drive, Bob, just for a spin. 175 00:06:48,383 --> 00:06:50,618 So, once around the block? 176 00:06:50,652 --> 00:06:52,220 Oh, yeah, once around the block, 177 00:06:52,254 --> 00:06:54,556 you know, maybe around the corner, up the road a bit. 178 00:06:54,589 --> 00:06:55,991 What road? 179 00:06:56,024 --> 00:06:58,260 Well, this road, I'll take it up this road. 180 00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:00,162 Okay, but, uh, no lefts, okay? 181 00:07:00,195 --> 00:07:01,696 Because they lead to the highway, 182 00:07:01,729 --> 00:07:04,933 and I really don't want her on the highway. 183 00:07:06,401 --> 00:07:08,736 Why would I take it on the highway? 184 00:07:09,872 --> 00:07:13,041 * Driving down that highway of life 185 00:07:13,075 --> 00:07:16,644 * Feelin' fine and feelin' sunny 186 00:07:16,678 --> 00:07:19,915 * Going to pick me up some money * 187 00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:23,886 You do know that just staring at the fence 188 00:07:23,919 --> 00:07:25,320 isn't gonna help me fix it, right? 189 00:07:26,054 --> 00:07:28,323 Yeah, I am. 190 00:07:28,356 --> 00:07:31,894 I'm just thinking about Ted, and how nice he is 191 00:07:31,927 --> 00:07:34,429 and generous... Like, almost too generous. 192 00:07:34,462 --> 00:07:36,932 And I just wanna grab him by the sweater sometime, 193 00:07:36,965 --> 00:07:40,635 and be like, "Stop being so generous and nice." 194 00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:42,004 He always has been. 195 00:07:42,037 --> 00:07:43,671 I feel bad thinking about all those times 196 00:07:43,705 --> 00:07:45,207 I pinned him against a locker. 197 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:48,877 You pinned somebody against a locker? 198 00:07:48,911 --> 00:07:51,579 Well, I was a different person then, 199 00:07:51,613 --> 00:07:54,349 a lot changed since after high school. 200 00:07:54,382 --> 00:07:57,285 So what did he do to make you such a teenage cliche? 201 00:07:57,319 --> 00:07:59,121 He always said "hi" when he passed me in the halls 202 00:07:59,154 --> 00:08:00,555 and for some reason, it bugged me. 203 00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:03,125 Yeah, I can see that. 204 00:08:03,959 --> 00:08:05,627 So, he's bugging you. 205 00:08:05,660 --> 00:08:06,794 What? No. Oh, my God, no. 206 00:08:06,828 --> 00:08:08,030 Oh, yes. 207 00:08:08,063 --> 00:08:10,933 No, I'm just saying, generally speaking, 208 00:08:10,966 --> 00:08:12,200 when you order breakfast 209 00:08:12,234 --> 00:08:14,036 and they give you the wrong order, 210 00:08:14,069 --> 00:08:16,738 send it back and get the right order. 211 00:08:16,771 --> 00:08:18,773 I never return food. I think that's so rude. 212 00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:28,416 Oh, no. 213 00:08:29,451 --> 00:08:31,119 Oh, son of a bum! 214 00:08:32,187 --> 00:08:33,855 Son of a bitch! 215 00:08:39,594 --> 00:08:41,529 What the hell? 216 00:08:42,164 --> 00:08:43,165 Oh. 217 00:08:45,968 --> 00:08:47,102 Oh! 218 00:08:47,802 --> 00:08:48,903 Oh! 219 00:09:01,149 --> 00:09:02,284 Well, the good news is 220 00:09:02,317 --> 00:09:03,851 all you need is a new fan belt, 221 00:09:03,885 --> 00:09:06,121 - and then you'll be right back on the road. - Good, good. 222 00:09:06,154 --> 00:09:07,755 Well, it was important 223 00:09:07,789 --> 00:09:09,124 I get to Elmdale today, Roland. 224 00:09:09,157 --> 00:09:11,226 I appreciate you helping me out. 225 00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:12,927 Ah, it's no problem, Johnny. 226 00:09:12,961 --> 00:09:16,231 So, where in Elmdale am I taking you? 227 00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:17,865 Oh, just the, uh, general 228 00:09:17,899 --> 00:09:20,969 downtown area will be fine. 229 00:09:21,003 --> 00:09:22,570 Okay, don't wanna tell me 230 00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:24,306 where we're going. Interesting. 231 00:09:24,339 --> 00:09:26,541 It's, uh, just a business meeting, 232 00:09:26,574 --> 00:09:28,110 uh, just I've gotta meet a guy. 233 00:09:28,143 --> 00:09:29,344 Uh-huh. What guy? 234 00:09:29,377 --> 00:09:31,713 A financial guy, it's a financial matter. 235 00:09:31,746 --> 00:09:33,081 Well, Johnny, it's gonna be awfully hard for me 236 00:09:33,115 --> 00:09:34,182 to get you to this meeting 237 00:09:34,216 --> 00:09:35,550 if I don't know where we're going. 238 00:09:35,583 --> 00:09:37,285 I mean, why is this such a big secret? 239 00:09:37,319 --> 00:09:39,454 It's not a big secret. It's not a big secret, Roland, 240 00:09:39,487 --> 00:09:41,489 and you're only doing 25, if we could pick it up... 241 00:09:41,523 --> 00:09:43,191 Oh, my God, now you're in such a hurry. 242 00:09:43,225 --> 00:09:45,093 What's the big rush here? I don't get that, either. 243 00:09:45,127 --> 00:09:46,861 The office closes at 4:00, that's all. 244 00:09:46,894 --> 00:09:47,996 What office are you talking about? 245 00:09:48,030 --> 00:09:49,264 The financial guy that... 246 00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:50,865 What financial guy? 247 00:09:50,898 --> 00:09:53,401 - The guy I'm doing business with, I told you. - Where are we going? 248 00:09:53,435 --> 00:09:54,936 The unemployment office! 249 00:09:55,270 --> 00:09:57,105 Okay? 250 00:09:57,139 --> 00:09:58,606 I'm applying for unemployment. 251 00:09:59,774 --> 00:10:00,975 Pfft. 252 00:10:01,009 --> 00:10:02,977 Jeez, pal, your business is your business. 253 00:10:03,011 --> 00:10:04,546 I don't know why you're telling me. 254 00:10:08,016 --> 00:10:10,052 Well, good afternoon. 255 00:10:10,085 --> 00:10:12,420 Everyone have a full glass, I hope? 256 00:10:12,454 --> 00:10:14,389 We've wanted to have you all here for ages. 257 00:10:14,422 --> 00:10:16,558 You've all so graciously welcomed us 258 00:10:16,591 --> 00:10:19,361 into your heavenly hamlet. 259 00:10:19,394 --> 00:10:22,497 Now, if you'll be so good as to follow me, 260 00:10:22,530 --> 00:10:25,733 David is setting out some hors d'oeuvres in our adjoining suite. 261 00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:27,935 David, we have guests. 262 00:10:29,204 --> 00:10:30,605 You were supposed to have cleaned up 263 00:10:30,638 --> 00:10:32,140 all these quality products. 264 00:10:32,174 --> 00:10:33,908 I must've lost track of time. 265 00:10:33,941 --> 00:10:35,810 Now the seating areas are covered 266 00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:37,512 in Allez Vous cosmetics. 267 00:10:37,545 --> 00:10:39,114 I know, I just didn't want to put 268 00:10:39,147 --> 00:10:40,682 such high quality paraben 269 00:10:40,715 --> 00:10:42,817 and PABA-free product on the floor. 270 00:10:44,486 --> 00:10:45,653 Come on in. 271 00:10:47,655 --> 00:10:50,392 Okay, well everything's going super well, I can see, so... 272 00:10:50,425 --> 00:10:52,427 Well, no, come on, we've gotta stay for a bit. 273 00:10:52,460 --> 00:10:54,696 No, we've made our appearance and now we can go. 274 00:10:54,729 --> 00:10:56,764 Your mom asked me to come. 275 00:10:56,798 --> 00:10:58,733 Well, she asked everybody to come. 276 00:10:58,766 --> 00:11:00,868 Can you not just say "no" for one time, Ted? 277 00:11:03,338 --> 00:11:05,507 Jocelyn, you can hold this lip plumper. 278 00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:08,776 Ronnie, this is a mineral moisturizer. 279 00:11:08,810 --> 00:11:10,778 You could keep it on your lap, or sample it. 280 00:11:10,812 --> 00:11:13,315 David, now is not the time to discuss 281 00:11:13,348 --> 00:11:15,817 Allez Vous' preferred customer discounts. 282 00:11:17,852 --> 00:11:20,488 Actually, I think, I'm going to be getting lunch elsewhere. 283 00:11:20,522 --> 00:11:21,923 Can I come with you? 284 00:11:21,956 --> 00:11:23,258 I don't think so. 285 00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:24,559 Now you get all decisive-y? 286 00:11:26,161 --> 00:11:28,363 I was just so excited about Allez Vous' 287 00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:30,265 exclusive anti-aging formula, 288 00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:32,667 and rejuvenation serums. 289 00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:34,636 Alexis, you'd like this product. 290 00:11:34,669 --> 00:11:37,105 It's all about aging and dry skin. 291 00:11:37,139 --> 00:11:38,940 Oh, my God, ew, David. 292 00:11:38,973 --> 00:11:40,742 David, I know you're excited 293 00:11:40,775 --> 00:11:42,177 to be part of the fastest growing 294 00:11:42,210 --> 00:11:44,312 multilevel marketing community 295 00:11:44,346 --> 00:11:47,615 on the continent, but honestly. 296 00:11:47,649 --> 00:11:49,817 There's something wrong with your face. 297 00:11:49,851 --> 00:11:51,052 With my face? 298 00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:53,555 Well, if any of you do happen to have 299 00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:55,257 questions about the products, 300 00:11:55,290 --> 00:11:59,527 or how to make up to 600,000 dollars a year, 301 00:11:59,561 --> 00:12:02,096 I suppose I'd be willing to share with you what I know. 302 00:12:09,070 --> 00:12:11,806 In the meantime, please, eat, drink. 303 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:14,476 To your possible beauty. 304 00:12:17,212 --> 00:12:18,546 How can I help you today, sir? 305 00:12:18,580 --> 00:12:19,647 Uh, yes, Johnny Rose, 306 00:12:19,681 --> 00:12:21,283 I have an appointment to get some money. 307 00:12:22,250 --> 00:12:23,318 Get some money? 308 00:12:23,351 --> 00:12:25,953 I need a check, preferably today. 309 00:12:25,987 --> 00:12:27,455 Ideally in the next few minutes 310 00:12:27,489 --> 00:12:29,056 'cause I have somebody waiting in the car. 311 00:12:30,024 --> 00:12:33,228 Well, we don't just give out money. 312 00:12:33,261 --> 00:12:34,696 First, we need some information. 313 00:12:34,729 --> 00:12:36,664 Oh, yeah, sure, yeah. Mm-hmm. 314 00:12:36,698 --> 00:12:38,366 - Your name? - Johnny Rose. 315 00:12:39,567 --> 00:12:42,003 - Uh, last employer? - Johnny Rose. 316 00:12:42,036 --> 00:12:44,105 And how long did you work for yourself? 317 00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:45,540 All my life. 318 00:12:46,841 --> 00:12:49,143 And your reason for being out of work? 319 00:12:49,177 --> 00:12:50,512 I sold my business 320 00:12:50,545 --> 00:12:52,514 and I got screwed by my business manager. 321 00:12:53,515 --> 00:12:55,717 Did you pay into unemployment insurance? 322 00:12:55,750 --> 00:12:58,753 I don't know. Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. 323 00:12:58,786 --> 00:13:01,489 It never came across my desk, I... 324 00:13:01,523 --> 00:13:04,426 We can't give you money 325 00:13:04,459 --> 00:13:06,160 unless you contributed to the program. 326 00:13:07,729 --> 00:13:08,930 I don't think you're understanding. 327 00:13:08,963 --> 00:13:11,933 I employed people, hundreds of people. 328 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:14,969 You see, and now I'm unemployed. 329 00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:18,273 But that doesn't mean you qualify for unemployment. 330 00:13:18,306 --> 00:13:19,407 I lost my job. 331 00:13:19,441 --> 00:13:20,642 You lost your business. 332 00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:23,245 Okay, let me walk you through this. 333 00:13:23,278 --> 00:13:25,513 You see, I need money 334 00:13:25,547 --> 00:13:26,881 to get back on my feet 335 00:13:26,914 --> 00:13:28,950 so I can employ more people, 336 00:13:28,983 --> 00:13:30,051 that might actually end up 337 00:13:30,084 --> 00:13:31,486 saving you money in the long run. 338 00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:32,987 Now, am I the only one who understands 339 00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:34,422 how an economy works around here? 340 00:13:34,456 --> 00:13:37,191 Let me walk you through this, Mr. Rose. 341 00:13:37,225 --> 00:13:39,093 Unless you can prove that you contributed, 342 00:13:39,126 --> 00:13:40,362 you don't qualify. 343 00:13:40,395 --> 00:13:41,729 If you were laid off, or fired, 344 00:13:41,763 --> 00:13:43,064 or could show that you were out looking for work, 345 00:13:43,097 --> 00:13:44,432 that would be a different story. 346 00:13:44,466 --> 00:13:46,834 I'd like to talk to your supervisor, please. 347 00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:48,135 I am the supervisor. 348 00:13:49,136 --> 00:13:51,606 And, may I say, doing... 349 00:13:51,639 --> 00:13:53,308 ...a fantastic job. 350 00:13:55,443 --> 00:13:56,778 Who's interested? 351 00:13:59,647 --> 00:14:02,083 Well, it doesn't look like anybody's really interested. 352 00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:04,419 Get out. 353 00:14:04,452 --> 00:14:09,557 I know someone here wants in on this exclusive opportunity. 354 00:14:09,591 --> 00:14:10,725 Moira, honey, 355 00:14:10,758 --> 00:14:13,194 that champagne Audi is really hard to get. 356 00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:14,762 - Excuse me? - Take it from me. 357 00:14:14,796 --> 00:14:17,231 Roland and I have been Allez Vous reps for two years 358 00:14:17,265 --> 00:14:19,133 and we're still driving that old truck. 359 00:14:20,535 --> 00:14:22,337 Sorry, you're... 360 00:14:22,370 --> 00:14:24,071 You're an Allez Vous consultant? 361 00:14:24,105 --> 00:14:27,642 I'm actually an executive area manager. 362 00:14:27,675 --> 00:14:29,377 I'm a district manager. 363 00:14:29,411 --> 00:14:31,813 I'm an executive district manager. 364 00:14:31,846 --> 00:14:33,848 - I gave up. - What? 365 00:14:33,881 --> 00:14:35,450 The Allez Vous craze 366 00:14:35,483 --> 00:14:36,751 hit the town a couple years ago, 367 00:14:36,784 --> 00:14:38,520 and you should've seen us. 368 00:14:38,553 --> 00:14:40,388 In two weeks we had sold everything 369 00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:42,490 to the other half of town, and vice versa. 370 00:14:42,524 --> 00:14:44,659 That's... That's funny. 371 00:14:44,692 --> 00:14:46,461 It became a bit incestuous, yeah, 372 00:14:46,494 --> 00:14:48,162 very small sales pool. 373 00:14:48,195 --> 00:14:51,299 It became literally impossible to climb the ladder. 374 00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:54,168 Anywho, good luck. 375 00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:02,276 Somehow, we got off on the wrong foot, okay? 376 00:15:02,310 --> 00:15:05,580 So if I in any way gave you the impression that... 377 00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:07,114 I am locking up now, Mr. Rose. 378 00:15:07,148 --> 00:15:08,516 Johnny, how long is this gonna take? 379 00:15:08,550 --> 00:15:10,117 'Cause I got a couple... 380 00:15:11,386 --> 00:15:12,920 Roland? 381 00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:16,958 Well, Marnie, hello. How are you? 382 00:15:16,991 --> 00:15:18,560 Haven't seen you in a while. 383 00:15:18,593 --> 00:15:20,795 Yeah, it has been a while, hasn't it? 384 00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:25,767 Marnie and I were, um... How shall I say it? 385 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,803 Close friends in high school. 386 00:15:28,836 --> 00:15:29,937 Isn't that right, Marnie? 387 00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:31,138 Okay, that's enough of that. 388 00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:33,708 Marnie likes the bad boys. 389 00:15:34,041 --> 00:15:35,510 Roland. 390 00:15:35,543 --> 00:15:36,944 Are you taking care of my bad boy over there? 391 00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:38,446 No, she's being quite obstinate 392 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:39,714 about this whole situation. 393 00:15:39,747 --> 00:15:41,616 I'm getting nothing. 394 00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:43,017 Well, unfortunately, Mr. Rose 395 00:15:43,050 --> 00:15:44,619 doesn't qualify for unemployment 396 00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,454 because he's never had a job. 397 00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:47,689 Oh, well, didn't he tell you 398 00:15:47,722 --> 00:15:49,123 about the job he was doing for me? 399 00:15:49,591 --> 00:15:50,758 No, what job? 400 00:15:50,792 --> 00:15:53,127 You didn't tell her? 401 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:56,263 No, not specifically, I... 402 00:15:56,297 --> 00:15:58,265 Well, that's important information, Mr. Rose. 403 00:15:58,299 --> 00:16:00,468 You working for Roland makes you an employee. 404 00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:01,969 - Yes. - Oh. 405 00:16:02,470 --> 00:16:03,705 I forgot. 406 00:16:03,738 --> 00:16:04,939 Well, what were your duties? 407 00:16:04,972 --> 00:16:08,510 Well, I was in more of a, uh, consulting position. 408 00:16:08,543 --> 00:16:09,611 Oh. 409 00:16:09,644 --> 00:16:10,945 No, no, no. 410 00:16:10,978 --> 00:16:12,547 It was not a consulting position, 411 00:16:12,580 --> 00:16:13,748 he was my assistant. 412 00:16:13,781 --> 00:16:15,282 He was like my little guy Friday. 413 00:16:15,316 --> 00:16:16,384 He would fetch things for me. 414 00:16:16,418 --> 00:16:18,820 I'd tell him where to go and he'd go running off 415 00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:20,287 and fetching things for me. 416 00:16:20,321 --> 00:16:21,789 What were some of the things you fetched? 417 00:16:21,823 --> 00:16:23,391 - You fetched like, uh... - Coffee. 418 00:16:23,425 --> 00:16:25,593 Coffee, you'd get that, and, um... - I get his coffee. 419 00:16:25,627 --> 00:16:27,595 - Sometimes you'd have to... - Get a hanky? 420 00:16:27,629 --> 00:16:29,096 No, you'd pick up... 421 00:16:29,130 --> 00:16:30,565 His dry-cleaning. 422 00:16:30,598 --> 00:16:32,166 Yeah, you had to do that and then... 423 00:16:32,199 --> 00:16:34,068 How about these guys down there, those are boots. 424 00:16:34,101 --> 00:16:35,302 Nothing with the boots. 425 00:16:35,336 --> 00:16:36,538 Oh, there was something with the boots. 426 00:16:36,571 --> 00:16:38,205 Polish them every once in a while. 427 00:16:38,239 --> 00:16:39,774 Every now and then, he had to do that, too. 428 00:16:39,807 --> 00:16:41,208 He was a hell of a worker 429 00:16:41,242 --> 00:16:42,944 and I really, really needed him, 430 00:16:42,977 --> 00:16:45,079 because you know how busy... 431 00:16:46,180 --> 00:16:47,248 I can get. 432 00:16:48,315 --> 00:16:49,551 Yes I do. 433 00:16:52,119 --> 00:16:54,956 Yeah, unfortunately I had to can his ass though, 434 00:16:54,989 --> 00:16:58,225 because of that whole "cut the gravy" thing, so. 435 00:16:58,259 --> 00:16:59,661 Oh. 436 00:16:59,694 --> 00:17:01,162 Well... 437 00:17:01,195 --> 00:17:02,830 I think we can make this work. 438 00:17:10,472 --> 00:17:13,107 Hey, I come in peace. 439 00:17:13,608 --> 00:17:14,742 What's this? 440 00:17:14,776 --> 00:17:16,944 I don't know, it's, um, a pre-shave 441 00:17:16,978 --> 00:17:18,546 follicle mask or something. 442 00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:21,516 I took it from the, um, pile of product that nobody bought. 443 00:17:23,918 --> 00:17:25,186 Sweet gesture. 444 00:17:29,223 --> 00:17:31,125 I'm sorry for being rude. 445 00:17:31,158 --> 00:17:32,760 You have to understand that 446 00:17:32,794 --> 00:17:34,729 you're the first nice guy that I've dated. 447 00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:37,398 Lex, I am not always nice. 448 00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:39,433 I just really want my family to like you. 449 00:17:39,467 --> 00:17:41,536 - They don't like me? - No, they do. 450 00:17:41,569 --> 00:17:43,971 They do. They've just always seen nice as a sign of weakness, 451 00:17:44,005 --> 00:17:45,306 they take advantage of nice. 452 00:17:45,339 --> 00:17:48,843 No, nice does not always mean weak, it's... 453 00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:50,912 Okay. 454 00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:52,413 So, get mad then. 455 00:17:53,380 --> 00:17:55,082 Say something super mean. 456 00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:59,286 What, I can't just turn it on in an instant, like you can. 457 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,856 Okay, well, um... 458 00:18:01,889 --> 00:18:03,758 Consider it a kind of role play then, 459 00:18:04,325 --> 00:18:05,860 and just let it out. 460 00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:09,764 I don't know. 461 00:18:10,632 --> 00:18:12,534 I find your brother can be 462 00:18:12,567 --> 00:18:15,002 a little pretentious sometimes. 463 00:18:15,036 --> 00:18:18,305 Yes, yes. He is so pretentious, and it is so gross. 464 00:18:18,339 --> 00:18:19,841 This is good, keep going. 465 00:18:19,874 --> 00:18:20,908 Well, and your mother... 466 00:18:20,942 --> 00:18:21,943 Mmm. 467 00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:24,646 Seems to be a little uninformed at times. 468 00:18:24,679 --> 00:18:27,549 She's uninformed most of the time. 469 00:18:27,582 --> 00:18:30,151 This is great, this is really good. Keep going. 470 00:18:30,184 --> 00:18:31,919 Well, and you, what about you? 471 00:18:31,953 --> 00:18:33,154 Are you just going to sit around all day, 472 00:18:33,187 --> 00:18:34,455 while I work and buy you dinners? 473 00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:36,157 You've gotta go out there and get a job... 474 00:18:36,758 --> 00:18:38,526 - Too far. Okay. - Mm-hmm. 475 00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:40,494 That's too far. 476 00:18:40,528 --> 00:18:42,930 All right, and there we go. 477 00:18:42,964 --> 00:18:44,198 Boy, thank you. 478 00:18:44,231 --> 00:18:45,600 Oh, stop it. 479 00:18:45,633 --> 00:18:49,203 No, no, Roland. I owe you big. 480 00:18:49,804 --> 00:18:51,806 Well, um, one day, 481 00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:53,808 and that day may never come, 482 00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:56,010 I may call upon you to perform a function. 483 00:18:57,144 --> 00:18:58,680 Marlon Brando. 484 00:18:58,713 --> 00:19:00,181 Yes, but from what movie? 485 00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:02,650 The Godfather. 486 00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:04,819 No, it's the one where he's the big mafia guy. 487 00:19:05,452 --> 00:19:06,688 The Godfather. 488 00:19:06,721 --> 00:19:07,889 Hold on a second, I'll think of it. 489 00:19:08,590 --> 00:19:10,958 Anyway, I appreciate 490 00:19:10,992 --> 00:19:12,594 what you've done, Roland, I really do, I'm... 491 00:19:12,627 --> 00:19:15,129 Don't you worry about it, Johnny, I'm happy to do it. 492 00:19:15,162 --> 00:19:17,599 Why don't you just get me, uh, a little wiper fluid, 493 00:19:17,632 --> 00:19:19,333 and we'll call it even, okay? 494 00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:20,534 Okay, wiper fluid, you got it. 495 00:19:20,568 --> 00:19:22,570 And also maybe a Kleenex caddy? 496 00:19:22,604 --> 00:19:24,305 I've always wanted one of those. 497 00:19:24,338 --> 00:19:25,707 That's funny. 498 00:19:25,740 --> 00:19:27,341 It is, but I'm not joking. 499 00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:31,012 All right, one Kleenex caddy, and wiper fluid. 500 00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:43,390 Roland, you screwed it up! 501 00:19:45,627 --> 00:19:46,661 Roland! 502 00:19:48,295 --> 00:19:49,496 Roland! 503 00:19:51,866 --> 00:19:53,500 Son of a bitch! 504 00:19:56,503 --> 00:19:57,839 Oh, Johnny, 505 00:19:57,872 --> 00:19:59,841 I told you not to take her on the highway. 506 00:19:59,874 --> 00:20:01,108 Yeah, I'm sorry, Bob, 507 00:20:01,142 --> 00:20:02,744 I guess I, uh, took one of those 508 00:20:02,777 --> 00:20:04,912 left turns, and, yeah. 509 00:20:04,946 --> 00:20:07,081 Okay, well, uh, let's get her hooked up, 510 00:20:07,114 --> 00:20:08,950 get you back to the garage, 511 00:20:08,983 --> 00:20:10,618 and we'll start on the paperwork. 512 00:20:12,053 --> 00:20:13,187 What paperwork? 513 00:20:13,220 --> 00:20:15,890 It's all filled in, you just have to sign it, 514 00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:17,925 and she's all yours. 515 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:20,527 I'm not buying this car. 516 00:20:20,561 --> 00:20:22,029 You change your mind? 517 00:20:22,063 --> 00:20:25,332 It broke, twice. It's a broken car. 518 00:20:25,366 --> 00:20:27,068 We'll play a little hardball, okay. 519 00:20:27,101 --> 00:20:29,503 I'll knock 20 bucks off. 520 00:20:29,536 --> 00:20:31,839 You couldn't get 20 bucks for scrap. 521 00:20:31,873 --> 00:20:32,974 Oh. 522 00:20:33,007 --> 00:20:35,076 All right, 30 bucks. 523 00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:36,443 How about zero bucks? 524 00:20:36,477 --> 00:20:38,412 I wouldn't give you a dime for this. 525 00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:40,414 Johnny, you're killing me here. 526 00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:41,916 - Fifty bucks. - Oh, you know what, Bob, 527 00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:43,718 I'm walking. I'm walking. 528 00:20:45,987 --> 00:20:48,022 I'll throw in a couple of floor mats, 529 00:20:48,055 --> 00:20:49,456 but that's my final offer. 530 00:20:49,490 --> 00:20:50,524 Walking.