1 00:00:05,767 --> 00:00:06,903 Ahhh! 2 00:00:06,936 --> 00:00:08,873 - Fuck me. Fuck me. - What? 3 00:00:08,907 --> 00:00:10,009 - Fuck me! - What? 4 00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:11,646 - John, there's something in the bed! - What? 5 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,550 Something crawled up my leg and I can't see it! 6 00:00:13,583 --> 00:00:14,819 - What? - I can't see it! 7 00:00:14,852 --> 00:00:17,158 - A spider? - No! Something invisible like 8 00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:20,063 lice or scabies or bed bugs! 9 00:00:20,097 --> 00:00:22,135 Oh, we don't have bed bugs. 10 00:00:22,168 --> 00:00:24,439 Oh, John, I can't afford to burn all my clothes. 11 00:00:24,472 --> 00:00:26,743 Oh, Moira, relax. 12 00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:29,782 Just relax. If we had lice, I'd have lice. 13 00:00:29,815 --> 00:00:31,119 Guess who? 14 00:00:32,053 --> 00:00:33,190 Dee Dee! 15 00:00:34,625 --> 00:00:37,931 - Hi, Momo. - What the hell? 16 00:00:37,965 --> 00:00:40,637 I'm sorry. I know I should've called, but, um, 17 00:00:40,671 --> 00:00:44,212 I just thought it'd be really fun to come see my older sister 18 00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:46,583 in her new digs. 19 00:00:46,616 --> 00:00:48,820 You know, a little visit. 20 00:00:48,853 --> 00:00:50,457 Oh. Um... 21 00:00:50,491 --> 00:00:52,761 Do you really have lice? I'd hate to contract 22 00:00:53,563 --> 00:00:54,799 lice. 23 00:01:02,748 --> 00:01:04,752 So, Dee Dee, you are, uh, 24 00:01:06,923 --> 00:01:08,593 looking well. 25 00:01:08,627 --> 00:01:11,433 Seaweed facials. I get one every week. 26 00:01:11,466 --> 00:01:14,138 But enough about me, I wanna talk about you guys. 27 00:01:14,171 --> 00:01:15,507 Oh. 28 00:01:15,541 --> 00:01:19,549 I want you to know that I really wanted to come and visit you 29 00:01:19,582 --> 00:01:21,017 when I heard about your life collapsing, 30 00:01:21,051 --> 00:01:23,423 but I got this really big job promotion that week 31 00:01:23,457 --> 00:01:24,992 and things got, you know, kind of crazy. 32 00:01:25,025 --> 00:01:27,365 Plus, we haven't really seen much of each other recently. 33 00:01:27,398 --> 00:01:29,602 Yes, well, we've had kind of a hectic year. 34 00:01:29,635 --> 00:01:31,773 Well, thank goodness for the Internet. 35 00:01:31,806 --> 00:01:35,012 Seemed to be the only thing letting me know you two were still alive. 36 00:01:35,045 --> 00:01:36,816 Telephone is also amazing. 37 00:01:36,849 --> 00:01:38,553 You just push the buttons and say, 38 00:01:38,587 --> 00:01:41,192 "Hi, it's me, your deadbeat sister." 39 00:01:41,225 --> 00:01:44,765 Well, it's a treat seeing you two going at it again. 40 00:01:44,799 --> 00:01:45,934 Kids! 41 00:01:45,967 --> 00:01:47,871 Come in and say hi to your Aunt Dee Dee. 42 00:01:47,905 --> 00:01:51,044 Better hurry before she disappears for another decade. 43 00:01:51,077 --> 00:01:53,015 Ohhh! Oh! 44 00:01:53,048 --> 00:01:54,285 What? 45 00:01:54,319 --> 00:01:57,089 Look at you guys. You've grown. 46 00:01:57,123 --> 00:01:59,429 Why did I think that you were dead? 47 00:01:59,462 --> 00:02:01,097 Ah, you're so sweet. 48 00:02:01,131 --> 00:02:03,870 Now, how long has it been since we've seen each other? 49 00:02:03,903 --> 00:02:05,641 I think you crashed one of my pool parties 50 00:02:05,674 --> 00:02:08,547 with some guy you were calling "Uncle Julio." 51 00:02:08,580 --> 00:02:10,584 Oh! 52 00:02:11,453 --> 00:02:13,021 I remember that. 53 00:02:13,055 --> 00:02:15,761 All right, you guys treat yourself, okay? Buy yourself something nice. 54 00:02:15,794 --> 00:02:17,431 - $100? - Oh, my God. 55 00:02:17,465 --> 00:02:19,301 - Oh, my God. I missed you. - Oh, my goodness. Wow. 56 00:02:19,335 --> 00:02:23,543 I missed you so much. I missed you so much. 57 00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:26,014 Oh, gosh, look at them. They are sweet kids. 58 00:02:26,047 --> 00:02:27,851 I don't know what you were so worried about, Moira. 59 00:02:27,885 --> 00:02:29,689 Dee Dee, what are you doing here? 60 00:02:29,722 --> 00:02:33,630 Are you staying here at the motel? Can I get you a room? 61 00:02:33,663 --> 00:02:35,401 No. God, no. 62 00:02:35,434 --> 00:02:36,503 No, I mean... 63 00:02:36,536 --> 00:02:38,607 No, I booked myself into a junior suite 64 00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:40,477 at the Comfort Inn in Elmdale, thank you. 65 00:02:40,511 --> 00:02:42,881 This is very darling. It's just, it doesn't have a gym 66 00:02:42,915 --> 00:02:44,619 and I'm kind of in the best shape of my life right now, 67 00:02:44,652 --> 00:02:45,787 and I kind of wanna keep it that way. 68 00:02:46,222 --> 00:02:47,324 Okay. 69 00:02:51,699 --> 00:02:55,340 Okay, so you're saying that I would be as in shape as you are 70 00:02:55,373 --> 00:02:56,876 if I just fixed lights all day? 71 00:02:56,909 --> 00:02:59,080 Pretty much. Well, 72 00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:00,751 a few pull-ups here and there. 73 00:03:00,784 --> 00:03:02,955 Okay, so you do work out. 74 00:03:02,988 --> 00:03:05,159 You are such a liar. 75 00:03:05,561 --> 00:03:06,763 Oh. 76 00:03:06,796 --> 00:03:09,702 Wow. Did Stevie say something funny or... 77 00:03:09,735 --> 00:03:11,639 - Grant, this is David Rose. - Hi. 78 00:03:11,673 --> 00:03:14,845 - He's one of our permanent guests here. - Don't say that, again. 79 00:03:14,879 --> 00:03:17,317 - Grant does repairs around here. - Oh, great. 80 00:03:17,350 --> 00:03:20,256 He was also just trying to tell me that he got that body 81 00:03:20,290 --> 00:03:22,528 from just being a handyman. 82 00:03:22,561 --> 00:03:25,099 Well, isn't Grant just a big, fat liar. 83 00:03:26,435 --> 00:03:27,505 Um... 84 00:03:27,538 --> 00:03:29,775 I gotta grab the right Marrette, so. 85 00:03:29,809 --> 00:03:32,581 My head is all over the place. She keeps distracting me. 86 00:03:32,615 --> 00:03:33,883 Yeah. 87 00:03:36,187 --> 00:03:39,662 Wow. He is wearing a tight shirt. 88 00:03:41,031 --> 00:03:43,269 So, is he gonna do some repairs on your... 89 00:03:43,302 --> 00:03:44,404 On your undies? 90 00:03:44,438 --> 00:03:46,207 Who's to say he hasn't already? 91 00:03:46,241 --> 00:03:48,847 Wow. Great. 92 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,651 Why? Is that a problem for you? 93 00:03:50,684 --> 00:03:52,219 No. No. Do you. 94 00:03:52,821 --> 00:03:55,293 Do him. Do both. 95 00:03:55,326 --> 00:03:57,798 - Do things. Yeah. - Great. I think I might. 96 00:03:57,831 --> 00:03:59,935 Good. Jump in. 97 00:04:02,841 --> 00:04:04,478 So... 98 00:04:06,783 --> 00:04:08,987 We should probably establish some boundaries 99 00:04:09,020 --> 00:04:11,358 about this whole friends-with-benefits thing. 100 00:04:11,392 --> 00:04:13,563 Okay. Yeah. No, let's do that. 101 00:04:13,597 --> 00:04:15,601 Let's, uh, let's put up some boundaries 102 00:04:15,634 --> 00:04:18,439 for the infrequent benefits that our friendship has. 103 00:04:18,472 --> 00:04:19,742 I think that's really good. 104 00:04:19,775 --> 00:04:22,347 Can we do that after you screw Mr. Fix-it, 105 00:04:22,380 --> 00:04:24,484 or would you like to do it now? 106 00:04:25,553 --> 00:04:27,424 Let's throw some boundaries up. 107 00:04:27,457 --> 00:04:28,459 Okay. 108 00:04:30,697 --> 00:04:32,099 Hey, Twyla. 109 00:04:33,770 --> 00:04:34,939 Twyla. 110 00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:37,778 Twyla? 111 00:04:42,119 --> 00:04:44,892 I'm so sorry. I really didn't think that was gonna hit you. 112 00:04:44,925 --> 00:04:47,029 That's okay. Your mom did the same thing to me this morning. 113 00:04:47,063 --> 00:04:49,067 - Okay. - What can I get you guys? 114 00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:50,570 Just coffees. Thanks. 115 00:04:51,906 --> 00:04:53,409 So what's going on over there? 116 00:04:53,442 --> 00:04:56,816 I'm just working on something. Just a little thing for Mutt. 117 00:04:56,849 --> 00:04:59,655 Oh. Is it his birthday or something? 118 00:04:59,689 --> 00:05:03,228 No. My dad always said, "When in doubt, say it with a song." 119 00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:04,699 He was a roadie with Fleetwood Mac 120 00:05:04,732 --> 00:05:07,370 and that was the last thing Mick Fleetwood said to him 121 00:05:07,404 --> 00:05:10,042 before the band hit him with a restraining order. 122 00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,817 So you're writing a song for Mutt, then? 123 00:05:13,850 --> 00:05:15,219 Yeah, I'm trying to. 124 00:05:15,252 --> 00:05:17,590 Cute. So what, is it about 125 00:05:17,624 --> 00:05:20,864 your feelings, or is it love and... What? 126 00:05:20,897 --> 00:05:23,201 Are we shooting a Dateline investigative report? 127 00:05:23,235 --> 00:05:26,375 No, we're not. I'm just looking out for my friend. 128 00:05:26,776 --> 00:05:28,446 Um... 129 00:05:28,479 --> 00:05:29,915 Honestly, Twy, 130 00:05:30,784 --> 00:05:32,554 ixnay on the ongsay. 131 00:05:32,587 --> 00:05:34,624 Because I tried it once 132 00:05:34,658 --> 00:05:38,031 and the guy ripped the guitar out of my hands 133 00:05:38,065 --> 00:05:41,472 and he just started smashing it on the ground. 134 00:05:41,505 --> 00:05:43,509 Granted, I am tone deaf and he was a... 135 00:05:44,711 --> 00:05:47,550 He was a super angry Marine, but... 136 00:05:47,584 --> 00:05:49,388 Just let the girl write her boyfriend a song. 137 00:05:49,421 --> 00:05:52,193 Okay, I know. And I'm all for it, I'm all for it. 138 00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:55,600 I just think it's... I think it's a super big mistake. 139 00:06:10,062 --> 00:06:11,064 David! 140 00:06:12,166 --> 00:06:13,837 Jocelyn. Hi. 141 00:06:14,438 --> 00:06:17,043 Can I ask you something? 142 00:06:17,076 --> 00:06:18,712 Uh, that depends. 143 00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:20,349 How shall I put this? 144 00:06:20,382 --> 00:06:24,424 You strike me as the sort of person that had a hard time in high school. 145 00:06:24,959 --> 00:06:26,194 Thank you. 146 00:06:26,227 --> 00:06:28,900 Your floral top, for instance. 147 00:06:30,269 --> 00:06:32,006 Is there something I can help you with? 148 00:06:32,039 --> 00:06:35,713 Well, there's a new kid in my school and he's having a little trouble fitting in. 149 00:06:35,746 --> 00:06:37,283 Mm-hmm. 150 00:06:37,316 --> 00:06:39,721 He's also struggling with his sexuality, 151 00:06:39,754 --> 00:06:41,725 which I think that you may be also... 152 00:06:41,758 --> 00:06:43,361 What can I help you with, Jocelyn? 153 00:06:43,395 --> 00:06:45,600 Well, I was thinking, wouldn't it be wonderful 154 00:06:45,633 --> 00:06:47,837 if you could come down to the school, 155 00:06:47,871 --> 00:06:51,411 you know, maybe talk to him and tell him that things only get better. 156 00:06:54,250 --> 00:06:58,826 The idea of me life coaching another human being 157 00:06:58,859 --> 00:07:00,796 should scare you. 158 00:07:00,830 --> 00:07:02,767 A lot. I don't... 159 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:06,842 I knew there was a good person in there somewhere, David. 160 00:07:07,978 --> 00:07:09,113 Oh, and, honey, 161 00:07:09,147 --> 00:07:11,953 get the quilted, that other stuff will chafe you right up. 162 00:07:14,558 --> 00:07:16,294 So, this is weird. 163 00:07:16,327 --> 00:07:21,037 Um, today marks the longest relationship that I've ever voluntarily had with someone. 164 00:07:21,071 --> 00:07:22,574 Voluntarily? 165 00:07:22,607 --> 00:07:25,546 Yeah. The actual longest relationship was, um, 166 00:07:25,580 --> 00:07:27,383 a three-month affair with a Saudi prince, 167 00:07:27,416 --> 00:07:28,719 but for the last two months of that, 168 00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:31,191 I was trapped in his palace trying to get to an embassy. 169 00:07:31,224 --> 00:07:34,598 Um, so, hey. How is it going with you and Twyla? 170 00:07:34,631 --> 00:07:36,502 You guys are looking cute. 171 00:07:36,535 --> 00:07:37,770 Uh... 172 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:41,244 I don't know. 173 00:07:41,277 --> 00:07:43,081 Why? What's going on? 174 00:07:47,389 --> 00:07:49,561 I don't know. It... It's nothing. It's fine. 175 00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:54,070 Okay, if my boyfriend ever described our relationship as "fine," 176 00:07:54,103 --> 00:07:56,174 - I think I would literally... - It's just... 177 00:07:56,207 --> 00:07:58,712 - It feels like it's run its course. - What? 178 00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:00,650 And I think we've both known it for a while now. 179 00:08:04,524 --> 00:08:05,560 Oh. 180 00:08:13,041 --> 00:08:14,711 Oh, give me a break. 181 00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:16,247 How did you find me? 182 00:08:16,281 --> 00:08:18,586 Well, where else is there to go? 183 00:08:19,654 --> 00:08:21,457 And Johnny may have told me. 184 00:08:21,491 --> 00:08:22,727 Thank you, Johnny. 185 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:25,566 Moira, why are you making this so difficult for me? 186 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,436 Oh. Where do I start? 187 00:08:27,469 --> 00:08:29,841 Uh, you know, I think it's best we don't go there. 188 00:08:29,874 --> 00:08:32,079 No, I'd like to go there. Please, take me. 189 00:08:33,148 --> 00:08:36,354 $50,000. Does that sound familiar? 190 00:08:36,387 --> 00:08:39,293 - Yes. You gave that to me as a down payment... - No, loaned it. 191 00:08:39,327 --> 00:08:42,834 You gave it to me as a down payment for my Buffalonian town house. 192 00:08:42,867 --> 00:08:45,205 We handed you the money and you said... 193 00:08:49,113 --> 00:08:50,783 - Thank you? - Ugh. Too late. 194 00:08:51,217 --> 00:08:53,321 Well, Moira, 195 00:08:53,355 --> 00:08:56,728 considering you had over $500 million in the bank, 196 00:08:56,762 --> 00:08:59,500 I'm a little personally offended that I didn't get more. 197 00:08:59,533 --> 00:09:00,703 Go away, Dee Dee. 198 00:09:00,736 --> 00:09:02,574 No. No. 199 00:09:02,607 --> 00:09:05,412 Not till I do what I came here to do. 200 00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:07,449 Didn't want to hurt your feelings, but I forgot. 201 00:09:07,483 --> 00:09:09,621 - You don't have feelings. - Don't you dare. Don't you dare. 202 00:09:09,654 --> 00:09:12,393 Yes, yes. I am paying you back. 203 00:09:12,426 --> 00:09:14,163 It's not everything, but it's a start. 204 00:09:20,843 --> 00:09:24,984 So walk me through this, she offered you a check and you turned it down? 205 00:09:25,018 --> 00:09:26,755 She was insulting us. 206 00:09:26,788 --> 00:09:30,195 Moira, the woman dates dive-bar owners, okay? 207 00:09:30,229 --> 00:09:31,798 Let her insult us. 208 00:09:31,832 --> 00:09:35,171 Well, I don't know whether you've noticed, but we could use the money. 209 00:09:35,873 --> 00:09:37,443 You talk about bed bugs? 210 00:09:37,476 --> 00:09:39,313 That check could pay for fumigation. 211 00:09:39,347 --> 00:09:42,987 Better yet, we could move to a place that doesn't have bed bugs. 212 00:09:43,020 --> 00:09:46,193 I don't want her money. I want our money. She owes us. 213 00:09:46,227 --> 00:09:48,197 We loaned her $50,000. 214 00:09:48,231 --> 00:09:50,435 - We gave her $50,000, - Oh. 215 00:09:50,469 --> 00:09:53,241 and you spent more than that on wigs that year. 216 00:09:53,275 --> 00:09:56,113 I don't see anyone else lining up to give us checks. 217 00:09:56,146 --> 00:09:58,986 Why are you taking her side? 218 00:09:59,019 --> 00:10:01,792 I'm not taking her side, but she's offering us a way out 219 00:10:01,825 --> 00:10:03,996 and you're letting your pride get in the way. 220 00:10:04,029 --> 00:10:05,933 It's all I have left, John, literally. 221 00:10:05,966 --> 00:10:07,269 Swallow it, Moira. 222 00:10:07,303 --> 00:10:10,041 - I can't! - Yes, you can. 223 00:10:10,074 --> 00:10:15,118 And then we can buy a case of champagne to wash it down with. 224 00:10:17,824 --> 00:10:20,028 So, you and Grant. 225 00:10:20,061 --> 00:10:21,932 How are things going? 226 00:10:21,965 --> 00:10:27,275 Uh, well, he asked me out for dinner tonight, so we're gonna do that. 227 00:10:27,309 --> 00:10:29,948 We're gonna go for dinner, Grant and I. 228 00:10:29,981 --> 00:10:31,551 Yeah. Yeah, that's... 229 00:10:31,584 --> 00:10:34,089 Well, he seems like a really, like, respectable guy. 230 00:10:34,122 --> 00:10:36,260 Like one of those guys that has like a 231 00:10:36,293 --> 00:10:39,266 candy bowl of condoms on his bedside table or something. 232 00:10:39,299 --> 00:10:41,337 Oh, I hope so. Wonder what color I'll get. 233 00:10:41,371 --> 00:10:42,606 Yeah. 234 00:10:42,639 --> 00:10:46,782 So, I am mentoring a teen in crisis, later. 235 00:10:46,815 --> 00:10:49,988 That's what I'm doing. One of Jocelyn's students, so. 236 00:10:50,021 --> 00:10:53,661 He's being bullied because he's different, so I'm helping to change his life. 237 00:10:54,430 --> 00:10:58,237 - Giving back. So, yeah. - Wow. 238 00:10:58,270 --> 00:11:03,982 And on a scale of one to 10, how much are you looking forward to that? 239 00:11:04,016 --> 00:11:07,757 Three point five. I'm gonna leave you be because it's not every day 240 00:11:07,790 --> 00:11:11,497 you get to go on a date with a guy who owns a windowless van, so that... 241 00:11:11,531 --> 00:11:12,633 Oh, Grant. 242 00:11:12,666 --> 00:11:13,736 Hi. 243 00:11:14,838 --> 00:11:16,040 Hey. 244 00:11:16,073 --> 00:11:17,944 What're you doing? You checking out porn again? 245 00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:21,250 I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. 246 00:11:21,283 --> 00:11:23,756 Um... Warmest regards to you both. 247 00:11:23,789 --> 00:11:25,191 Best wishes. 248 00:11:28,665 --> 00:11:30,669 Such a weird dude. 249 00:11:31,838 --> 00:11:34,242 Yes. Yes, he is. 250 00:11:58,525 --> 00:12:00,061 You must be Connor. 251 00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:01,196 Yeah. 252 00:12:03,234 --> 00:12:05,038 I don't know how much Mrs. Schitt has told you, 253 00:12:05,071 --> 00:12:07,543 but she's asked me to come in and have a chat. 254 00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:12,753 She thinks that since we're both new here, 255 00:12:12,787 --> 00:12:16,862 it might be worth talking about some things like, you know, fitting in. 256 00:12:21,336 --> 00:12:23,876 Apparently you're having trouble fitting in. 257 00:12:24,710 --> 00:12:26,714 Who are you? 258 00:12:27,482 --> 00:12:28,819 Uh, my name is David. 259 00:12:28,852 --> 00:12:32,894 Are you like a doctor, or something? A psychologist? 260 00:12:32,927 --> 00:12:34,429 Am I what? Uh, no. 261 00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:36,667 So why would I talk to you? 262 00:12:37,202 --> 00:12:38,872 I don't know. 263 00:12:38,906 --> 00:12:42,078 Because your teacher is concerned that you're having trouble adjusting. 264 00:12:42,112 --> 00:12:45,184 So she told you to come here and, what, help me? 265 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:49,026 Look at you. Look at your pants. 266 00:12:49,059 --> 00:12:52,098 Excuse me. I am sensing a tinge of disrespect here. 267 00:12:52,132 --> 00:12:53,836 Let me tell you what my problem is. 268 00:12:53,869 --> 00:12:57,977 I'm a 16-year-old gay kid living in a town that makes me wanna throw up. 269 00:12:58,010 --> 00:13:02,485 The issue isn't me not fitting in. It's me not wanting to fit in. 270 00:13:02,518 --> 00:13:05,524 Is there anything else you wanna help me with? 271 00:13:09,968 --> 00:13:11,003 No. 272 00:13:25,799 --> 00:13:28,270 Go ahead and order whatever you want. This is on us. 273 00:13:28,304 --> 00:13:29,506 Oh. 274 00:13:29,539 --> 00:13:32,245 They're letting you run up a long tab, are they? 275 00:13:32,278 --> 00:13:34,016 You see? 276 00:13:34,049 --> 00:13:36,821 Well, I hear the pork is very good here. 277 00:13:36,855 --> 00:13:38,524 The ribs, the chops, the roast. 278 00:13:39,827 --> 00:13:41,330 Nothing for me, thanks. 279 00:13:41,363 --> 00:13:44,602 Well, isn't that funny because Moira doesn't eat here, either. 280 00:13:44,636 --> 00:13:48,711 But I will be eating and I just don't know whether to have the ribs or the chops, 281 00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:50,681 but I'm definitely ordering pork. 282 00:13:50,715 --> 00:13:53,054 If you mention pork one more time... 283 00:13:53,087 --> 00:13:57,095 Moira, um, don't you have something you wanna say to your sister? 284 00:13:57,128 --> 00:13:58,330 No. 285 00:13:58,364 --> 00:14:00,168 Oh, I'm pretty sure you do. 286 00:14:00,201 --> 00:14:01,938 I'm pretty sure I don't. 287 00:14:01,972 --> 00:14:04,042 Thank you for trying, Johnny. Truly. 288 00:14:04,076 --> 00:14:06,280 But, like, I'm just really uncomfortable right now 289 00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:08,919 with my older sister acting like a stubborn child. 290 00:14:08,952 --> 00:14:11,290 Okay, why don't we all take a deep breath here 291 00:14:11,323 --> 00:14:14,596 and try and remember what's really important. 292 00:14:15,231 --> 00:14:17,435 Okay? We are family. 293 00:14:18,237 --> 00:14:21,043 And we have to hang on to that. 294 00:14:21,076 --> 00:14:24,082 And you know as well as I do, Moira, that times of crisis, 295 00:14:24,116 --> 00:14:26,922 the one thing we need to hang on to is family. 296 00:14:26,955 --> 00:14:28,324 Okay, okay. 297 00:14:30,128 --> 00:14:31,396 Dee Dee, 298 00:14:34,169 --> 00:14:37,075 we appreciate you coming to this town 299 00:14:37,108 --> 00:14:41,985 and offering whatever it is you're offering, much appreciated. 300 00:14:42,018 --> 00:14:44,322 'Cause, seriously, I thought you were just coming here to gloat. 301 00:14:44,356 --> 00:14:45,926 No, no, no. 302 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:49,968 I came here in the spirit of giving and forgiving. 303 00:14:50,001 --> 00:14:52,772 The gloating thing was a bonus. 304 00:14:53,374 --> 00:14:55,311 Moira, go on. 305 00:14:57,082 --> 00:14:59,152 Yes, go on. 306 00:15:04,562 --> 00:15:06,033 We need help. 307 00:15:06,666 --> 00:15:08,437 Please help us. 308 00:15:11,643 --> 00:15:14,716 Okay, I will. 309 00:15:15,118 --> 00:15:16,120 Hmm. 310 00:15:16,988 --> 00:15:19,292 Oh. 311 00:15:19,326 --> 00:15:22,165 I'm gonna do this for you, but mostly, I'm doing it for me. 312 00:15:22,198 --> 00:15:24,502 Why? Because you can't and I can. 313 00:15:24,536 --> 00:15:25,604 Oh. 314 00:15:25,638 --> 00:15:26,941 Okay. 315 00:15:28,277 --> 00:15:29,913 How much we gonna make this out for? 316 00:15:29,947 --> 00:15:31,283 Oh. 317 00:15:31,316 --> 00:15:33,754 I haven't the foggiest. I couldn't... 318 00:15:33,787 --> 00:15:36,927 I couldn't come up with a number. I mean, I... 319 00:15:36,962 --> 00:15:38,630 Whatever you think is fair. 320 00:15:38,664 --> 00:15:40,801 Well, you guys gave me 50 grand, right? 321 00:15:40,834 --> 00:15:45,111 Yes, we gave you 50,000 when we had the money. 322 00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:46,713 But I can't... 323 00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:49,219 I can't ask you for $50,000. 324 00:15:50,354 --> 00:15:53,394 Whatever you think is the equivalent amount. 325 00:15:54,429 --> 00:15:56,366 Okay, I think I can do you 326 00:15:57,802 --> 00:15:59,973 a little better than that. Okay? 327 00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:07,488 Oh. 328 00:16:07,522 --> 00:16:10,361 So unnecessary, Dee Dee, 329 00:16:11,396 --> 00:16:12,665 but thank you. 330 00:16:14,869 --> 00:16:16,873 Well, who's up for pork? 331 00:16:17,775 --> 00:16:19,646 Okay, so you're telling me 332 00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:22,185 your girlfriend is on a date with someone else 333 00:16:22,218 --> 00:16:26,226 and instead of doing something about it, you're here talking to me, 334 00:16:26,260 --> 00:16:28,364 a kid who practically has no respect for you. 335 00:16:28,397 --> 00:16:30,801 Well, first of all, you're a little bitchy. 336 00:16:30,834 --> 00:16:33,140 Second of all, she is not my girlfriend. 337 00:16:33,174 --> 00:16:35,511 She's someone that I'm occasionally having sex with 338 00:16:35,544 --> 00:16:37,515 because we're both bored and desperate. 339 00:16:37,548 --> 00:16:40,854 Ah. You're doing a friends-with-benefits thing with this girl. 340 00:16:40,888 --> 00:16:45,498 Have you not seen the 42 films they've made about it? It never works. 341 00:16:45,531 --> 00:16:48,537 Okay, well, movies aren't always right, all right? 342 00:16:48,570 --> 00:16:49,772 You'll learn that later in life. 343 00:16:49,806 --> 00:16:51,776 I happen to be a little bit older than you are, so... 344 00:16:51,810 --> 00:16:53,314 - Obviously. - Okay. 345 00:16:53,347 --> 00:16:54,449 Well, I think we're good here. 346 00:16:57,222 --> 00:16:59,292 You're gonna be okay, right? You're stable? 347 00:16:59,326 --> 00:17:01,563 I have a party later. Can you buy me some beer? 348 00:17:01,596 --> 00:17:04,102 Uh, no. Can you buy me some beer? 349 00:17:14,856 --> 00:17:17,562 Hey. Can I grab a glass of water? 350 00:17:17,595 --> 00:17:19,632 - Yeah, sure. - Thank you. 351 00:17:19,666 --> 00:17:22,104 So how's the, uh, song going? Is that... 352 00:17:22,138 --> 00:17:25,344 - Is the song still a thing? - Yeah. Do you wanna hear some of it? 353 00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:28,450 Um, I would love to, but I actually hate music, 354 00:17:28,484 --> 00:17:30,788 so I don't think I'd be a very good judge. 355 00:17:30,821 --> 00:17:33,260 - You hate music? - Uh-huh. 356 00:17:33,294 --> 00:17:35,198 Are you sure that Mutt likes music? 357 00:17:35,231 --> 00:17:38,170 'Cause I feel like if he didn't, it could be kind of awkward. 358 00:17:39,037 --> 00:17:40,208 Are you feeling okay? 359 00:17:40,241 --> 00:17:43,747 Um, I just don't think 360 00:17:43,780 --> 00:17:46,853 that the song thing is a good idea. 361 00:17:46,886 --> 00:17:48,924 For, like, a lot of reasons. 362 00:17:49,459 --> 00:17:51,129 Um... 363 00:17:51,162 --> 00:17:54,202 Are you sure that you wanna put yourself in such a vulnerable situation, Twy? 364 00:17:54,236 --> 00:17:56,606 Are you saying you don't think Mutt would like it? 365 00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:58,810 I don't know. I mean... 366 00:17:58,844 --> 00:18:00,281 I'm not sure. 367 00:18:00,314 --> 00:18:04,020 Maybe, but... I don't... I'm not... Yeah, I'm not sure. 368 00:18:04,054 --> 00:18:05,324 Did you talk to Mutt? 369 00:18:05,358 --> 00:18:08,028 Because I know that we've been sort of off for a while, 370 00:18:08,062 --> 00:18:11,403 and I've been just trying to think of things to make it better, and so I'm... 371 00:18:11,436 --> 00:18:13,607 You know, I'm just trying to make it work. 372 00:18:15,210 --> 00:18:18,048 I think that you should talk to Mutt before 373 00:18:18,784 --> 00:18:20,521 breaking into song. 374 00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:28,270 Thank you, Alexis. 375 00:18:29,439 --> 00:18:30,708 For what? 376 00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:33,314 Bye. 377 00:18:44,369 --> 00:18:48,243 In all honesty, Mutt was just a placeholder. 378 00:18:48,276 --> 00:18:51,850 According to my tea leaves, the guy I'm supposed to marry is black, so... 379 00:18:54,989 --> 00:18:57,728 - What and why are we drinking? - Oh, my goodness. 380 00:18:57,762 --> 00:19:03,840 Um, I don't know, and today, some snippy teen told me that my life was a mess. 381 00:19:03,874 --> 00:19:06,078 And I am now a single person. 382 00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:08,984 Oh. 383 00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:12,992 So did you spend the night washing your clothes on Grant's abs? 384 00:19:13,025 --> 00:19:14,729 - You're funny. - Mm-hmm. 385 00:19:14,762 --> 00:19:17,301 Um, Grant went to the bathroom and never came back. 386 00:19:17,334 --> 00:19:18,470 - Thank you. - What? 387 00:19:18,504 --> 00:19:20,908 He went to the bathroom and never came back? 388 00:19:20,941 --> 00:19:22,211 - Mm-hmm. - Oh. 389 00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:24,549 So either I was stood up halfway through my date, 390 00:19:24,582 --> 00:19:27,321 or Grant has some serious digestive issues. 391 00:19:28,289 --> 00:19:29,358 Wow. 392 00:19:29,392 --> 00:19:30,794 Sounds like a real catch. 393 00:19:30,828 --> 00:19:32,532 - Mm-hmm - Um... 394 00:19:33,567 --> 00:19:36,004 So word on teen street 395 00:19:36,038 --> 00:19:41,081 is that our little friends-with-benefits situation is a... 396 00:19:41,114 --> 00:19:42,752 - Not a good idea? - Bad. Is a bad idea. 397 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,225 And because I don't have any other friends here, 398 00:19:46,259 --> 00:19:50,568 I can't afford to lose you, so I think it's best if we just... 399 00:19:50,601 --> 00:19:51,870 - Friends. - Friends. Yeah. 400 00:19:51,903 --> 00:19:53,138 - I think that's best. - Yes. 401 00:19:53,774 --> 00:19:55,176 Good. This is good. 402 00:19:55,209 --> 00:19:56,613 - That's good, right? - It's good. 403 00:19:56,646 --> 00:20:00,019 Okay. Well, warmest wishes to that. 404 00:20:00,052 --> 00:20:01,890 - Kindest regards. - Yeah. 405 00:20:03,226 --> 00:20:04,228 Cheers. 406 00:20:07,166 --> 00:20:08,537 Hoo. 407 00:20:08,570 --> 00:20:10,508 - Twy, that's... - Hmm. 408 00:20:10,541 --> 00:20:12,043 It's good, right? 409 00:20:12,076 --> 00:20:13,847 My eyes are tearing. 410 00:20:15,484 --> 00:20:16,986 So this is it? 411 00:20:17,888 --> 00:20:19,425 After all that? 412 00:20:23,098 --> 00:20:25,671 And we paid for the dinner. 413 00:20:25,704 --> 00:20:28,142 So we lost money on the whole deal. 414 00:20:31,983 --> 00:20:34,120 I'll tell ya, 415 00:20:34,154 --> 00:20:37,361 she's gonna be embarrassed when this thing gets cashed. 416 00:20:37,394 --> 00:20:39,566 She will be embarrassed. 417 00:20:40,232 --> 00:20:42,136 She missed a zero. 418 00:20:42,170 --> 00:20:44,475 Moira, she missed a zero or two. 419 00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:47,948 I... You know what? 420 00:20:47,982 --> 00:20:50,654 I'm gonna call her. I'm calling her right now, that... 421 00:20:50,688 --> 00:20:53,192 What a cheap-ass amount! 422 00:20:53,225 --> 00:20:55,262 Turn your light off, John. 423 00:20:58,970 --> 00:21:01,074 Your sister is a cheap-ass. 424 00:21:15,370 --> 00:21:16,640 Cheap-ass.