1
00:00:57,586 --> 00:00:59,821
Kids, it happens to be
our anniversary today,

2
00:00:59,855 --> 00:01:02,157
so it might be a nice idea
if you wished your mother

3
00:01:02,191 --> 00:01:03,209
a happy anniversary.

4
00:01:03,259 --> 00:01:05,127
Okay, um...

5
00:01:05,161 --> 00:01:06,998
What would you like us to say?

6
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:08,964
Well, you could start by saying,

7
00:01:08,998 --> 00:01:10,434
"Happy anniversary."

8
00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:12,535
Mmm, okay, but why are we wishing her

9
00:01:12,569 --> 00:01:13,970
a happy anniversary?

10
00:01:14,072 --> 00:01:15,368
Isn't that something that you two

11
00:01:15,403 --> 00:01:16,486
are supposed to say to each other?

12
00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:18,056
Yeah, it's called
being courteous, honey.

13
00:01:18,106 --> 00:01:20,174
You know, the Bloomfield kids
used to throw their parents

14
00:01:20,208 --> 00:01:22,009
an anniversary party every year.

15
00:01:22,044 --> 00:01:24,245
Mhmm... um, if we're truth telling,

16
00:01:24,279 --> 00:01:26,580
the Bloomfields were
always a little too friendly

17
00:01:26,483 --> 00:01:27,983
I just don't understand
what kind of family

18
00:01:26,615 --> 00:01:36,615
with one another.

19
00:01:28,018 --> 00:01:30,008
skinny dips together.

20
00:01:30,687 --> 00:01:32,087
John, are you ready?

21
00:01:32,122 --> 00:01:33,212
Yes, sweetheart.

22
00:01:33,237 --> 00:01:35,457
Happy anniversary!

23
00:01:35,492 --> 00:01:37,911
Congratulations on your
ongoing love for one another.

24
00:01:37,961 --> 00:01:39,276
You did it!

25
00:01:39,530 --> 00:01:41,030
Okay kids, that's enough.

26
00:01:41,064 --> 00:01:42,841
You sound like the
incestuous Bloomfields.

27
00:01:42,891 --> 00:01:44,635
Have a blessed day.

28
00:01:45,905 --> 00:01:49,314
-- Synced by the_foe for my Honey --
-- Corrected by ChrisKe --

29
00:01:49,315 --> 00:01:52,050
Schitt's Creek - S02E13
"Happy Anniversary" - season finale

30
00:01:52,378 --> 00:01:54,445
Ahem! Hello there, Roses.

31
00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:55,947
- Hello there, you!
- Yes...

32
00:01:55,981 --> 00:01:57,199
May we join you?

33
00:01:57,249 --> 00:01:59,784
- Oh, we just ordered to go.
- Yeah, we're not staying,

34
00:01:59,819 --> 00:02:01,319
we've got a million things to do.

35
00:02:01,354 --> 00:02:03,388
Oh, well then, I guess you don't want

36
00:02:03,422 --> 00:02:05,323
your present then, huh?

37
00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:07,794
You wanna guess what your present is?

38
00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:09,862
- No, I do not.
- Dinner!

39
00:02:10,126 --> 00:02:12,197
We're gifting you a dinner!

40
00:02:12,432 --> 00:02:15,501
At the most exclusive eatery in Elmdale.

41
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,470
- Oh.
- It's very hard to get a table.

42
00:02:17,504 --> 00:02:19,523
But uh, I pulled a few strings.

43
00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:22,475
That sounds too good
to... what's the catch?

44
00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:24,043
No, there's-there's no catch,

45
00:02:24,078 --> 00:02:26,942
just every new council
member gets a dinner, so.

46
00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:29,882
Oh, how very civilized.

47
00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:32,104
It is... thank you, Roland. We accept.

48
00:02:32,154 --> 00:02:34,455
Terrific, so we'll pick
you up around seven.

49
00:02:34,489 --> 00:02:36,624
- We?
- Yeah, we have a coupon.

50
00:02:36,658 --> 00:02:38,759
Four entrees for the price of three,

51
00:02:38,794 --> 00:02:39,512
it expires soon, though.

52
00:02:39,562 --> 00:02:41,897
It should be really fun, you guys.

53
00:02:41,931 --> 00:02:44,366
Yes, it will be fun...

54
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:45,734
Well, it would be fun,

55
00:02:45,768 --> 00:02:47,837
if today were not our anniversary.

56
00:02:47,887 --> 00:02:50,539
- Yeah...
- Wow, happy anniversary!

57
00:02:50,574 --> 00:02:52,126
Well, thank you, thank you.

58
00:02:52,176 --> 00:02:54,576
You two are obviously
gonna want to spend tonight

59
00:02:54,601 --> 00:02:55,758
just the two of you, so...

60
00:02:55,783 --> 00:02:57,914
- Yes, that was the plan.
- Yeah.

61
00:02:57,948 --> 00:02:59,715
Oh, well you know, the coupon expires

62
00:02:59,750 --> 00:03:01,284
in three weeks, so...

63
00:03:01,318 --> 00:03:02,470
Okay, all right, let it go.

64
00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:03,920
You have fun, you guys!

65
00:03:03,954 --> 00:03:05,321
- Okay.
- Okay?

66
00:03:05,356 --> 00:03:07,537
- Bye bye, now.
- Bye!

67
00:03:08,115 --> 00:03:10,126
Boy, that was a close call.

68
00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:17,537
What are you doing with that?

69
00:03:18,825 --> 00:03:20,726
With what, this yearbook?

70
00:03:20,838 --> 00:03:22,365
Could you put it back, please?!

71
00:03:23,488 --> 00:03:24,989
Why would I put it back,

72
00:03:25,014 --> 00:03:27,182
when Stevie Budd was voted:

73
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,262
"Most likely to get the guy."

74
00:03:29,623 --> 00:03:31,190
With that hair cut?!

75
00:03:31,215 --> 00:03:33,850
I'll have you know I was
very popular with the boys.

76
00:03:33,972 --> 00:03:35,671
And girls, it seems.

77
00:03:35,721 --> 00:03:38,089
Wow, well, according to the Internet,

78
00:03:38,423 --> 00:03:40,643
you were "Mister Popular."

79
00:03:40,693 --> 00:03:42,294
I will have you know that that head-shot

80
00:03:42,328 --> 00:03:45,089
got me a two-episode
arc on a TV series.

81
00:03:45,394 --> 00:03:46,462
What series?

82
00:03:46,798 --> 00:03:48,025
"Dateline."

83
00:03:48,382 --> 00:03:51,885
I played a boy who got
abducted from a grocery store.

84
00:03:52,205 --> 00:03:53,606
- Wow.
- Yeah.

85
00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:54,992
And the performance was so riveting,

86
00:03:55,042 --> 00:03:57,890
people thought I actually
was the "Value-mart victim."

87
00:03:58,008 --> 00:04:00,310
Hmm, bet that got you laid.

88
00:04:00,414 --> 00:04:03,070
It did. It really did.

89
00:04:06,187 --> 00:04:07,621
You know, I am surprised
that you haven't asked me

90
00:04:07,655 --> 00:04:09,201
to leave early today.

91
00:04:09,523 --> 00:04:11,061
Are you telepathic or something,

92
00:04:11,086 --> 00:04:13,622
because I have been thinking
about asking you that question

93
00:04:13,647 --> 00:04:15,006
every day this week.

94
00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:16,787
I was just kidding.

95
00:04:17,701 --> 00:04:19,744
Oh... no yeah, me too.

96
00:04:19,794 --> 00:04:23,163
No, just with the big
soiree at Mutt's tonight,

97
00:04:23,237 --> 00:04:25,986
I figured that you would
need ample time to get ready.

98
00:04:26,492 --> 00:04:28,228
Mutt's having a soiree?

99
00:04:28,278 --> 00:04:29,577
Well, I'm sure you're invited.

100
00:04:29,974 --> 00:04:32,826
Yeah, no. Yeah, no, why wouldn't I be?

101
00:04:32,876 --> 00:04:34,910
Um, were you invited?

102
00:04:34,984 --> 00:04:36,384
Yeah. Yeah.

103
00:04:36,418 --> 00:04:38,938
I guess it's just-just
a bit of a pride issue,

104
00:04:38,988 --> 00:04:41,890
you know, do I attend the
party hosted by the guy

105
00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:43,833
that... you left me for?

106
00:04:44,127 --> 00:04:45,994
Yeah, no, I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

107
00:04:46,029 --> 00:04:49,544
Yeah, but I really would
have to basically throw

108
00:04:49,569 --> 00:04:52,134
all my self-respect just
right out the window.

109
00:04:52,168 --> 00:04:54,002
Aww, that's so sweet.

110
00:04:54,037 --> 00:04:56,725
So um, what time is the party tonight?

111
00:04:58,374 --> 00:05:00,609
Happy anniversary, sweetheart.

112
00:05:00,643 --> 00:05:03,311
Oh darling, what a sweet gesture,

113
00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:04,713
and a precursor no doubt,

114
00:05:04,747 --> 00:05:06,889
to something more grand planned.

115
00:05:07,451 --> 00:05:08,819
Something more grand?

116
00:05:09,153 --> 00:05:11,596
Ah, knowing your penchant for surprises,

117
00:05:11,621 --> 00:05:14,466
I'm guessing you have
something else up your sleeve.

118
00:05:16,060 --> 00:05:18,717
- Yes, I do.
- Uh oh!

119
00:05:18,742 --> 00:05:21,077
I do, I...

120
00:05:21,365 --> 00:05:22,611
Was going to tell you later,

121
00:05:22,636 --> 00:05:25,635
but I booked a restaurant in Elmdale,

122
00:05:25,669 --> 00:05:27,588
it's supposed to be very fancy!

123
00:05:27,638 --> 00:05:30,707
The one that Roland and
Jocelyn just told us about?

124
00:05:30,741 --> 00:05:32,809
Yes! Yes, but...

125
00:05:32,844 --> 00:05:34,978
Who knew they were asking us tonight!

126
00:05:35,012 --> 00:05:36,431
- Just the two of us?
- Mhmm.

127
00:05:36,481 --> 00:05:39,083
Sort of a "Lady and the Tramp"
meets "9 1/2 Weeks"

128
00:05:39,117 --> 00:05:40,436
kind of dinner date?

129
00:05:40,486 --> 00:05:42,754
Could for one second
believe that I would not

130
00:05:42,788 --> 00:05:46,117
have planned something...
For our anniversary?

131
00:05:46,167 --> 00:05:47,228
Tonight?

132
00:05:48,394 --> 00:05:49,376
The two of us?

133
00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:01,792
Hi, Rose, party of two.

134
00:06:01,908 --> 00:06:03,709
Yeah, we spoke on the
phone this afternoon.

135
00:06:03,743 --> 00:06:05,544
You're lucky we had that cancellation.

136
00:06:05,578 --> 00:06:07,245
Yes, well, lucky for someone.

137
00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:10,716
We... had a reservation
which I of course made uh,

138
00:06:10,898 --> 00:06:12,356
weeks ago.

139
00:06:12,518 --> 00:06:14,086
You always could swing a good table

140
00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:15,520
at the last minute, John.

141
00:06:16,817 --> 00:06:18,384
Okay, it'll just be a few minutes.

142
00:06:18,409 --> 00:06:20,276
- Thank you.
- Okay.

143
00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:21,606
Moira?

144
00:06:21,819 --> 00:06:23,153
- Bev?
- Don!

145
00:06:23,178 --> 00:06:24,520
- Moira!
- Bev!

146
00:06:24,570 --> 00:06:26,271
Oh my God, the Roses! You're alive!

147
00:06:26,296 --> 00:06:27,864
- Ohhhh!
- Oh my gosh!

148
00:06:27,889 --> 00:06:30,424
- Good to see you!
- Wow! What? Don?

149
00:06:30,603 --> 00:06:33,436
- Oh, I don't believe it!
- Come on, Don!

150
00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:34,806
Muah! Muah!

151
00:06:34,841 --> 00:06:36,308
What are you two doing here?

152
00:06:36,342 --> 00:06:38,010
Well, we were dropping
MacKenzie off at college,

153
00:06:38,044 --> 00:06:39,811
and decided we'd take
the scenic route home.

154
00:06:39,846 --> 00:06:41,898
You must... they should...
you must join us!

155
00:06:41,948 --> 00:06:43,415
Join us for dinner!

156
00:06:43,450 --> 00:06:44,850
- Well-oh, yes!
- That would be great!

157
00:06:44,885 --> 00:06:48,354
We are just dying to find
out what you've been up to!

158
00:06:48,388 --> 00:06:50,256
We're dying to tell you!

159
00:06:50,290 --> 00:06:51,690
Okay.

160
00:06:51,725 --> 00:06:53,772
Ohhh...

161
00:07:06,807 --> 00:07:08,474
Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you.

162
00:07:08,508 --> 00:07:09,909
Oh, I wouldn't either,

163
00:07:09,943 --> 00:07:11,310
but I couldn't find a cocktail shaker,

164
00:07:11,344 --> 00:07:13,733
and someone brought
room temperature vodka.

165
00:07:14,047 --> 00:07:17,449
N-no, I mean... Mutt made those
ice cubes from well water,

166
00:07:17,484 --> 00:07:19,852
so... they smell a little fishy.

167
00:07:19,886 --> 00:07:21,045
Oh.

168
00:07:21,555 --> 00:07:23,289
Yeah, wouldn't want
that melting in my drink,

169
00:07:23,323 --> 00:07:24,657
thank you very much.

170
00:07:24,691 --> 00:07:27,226
- I'm Jake.
- David.

171
00:07:27,260 --> 00:07:28,936
It's nice to meet you, handsome.

172
00:07:34,627 --> 00:07:37,629
I-I'll-I'm gonna...
So I'll just...

173
00:07:41,748 --> 00:07:44,376
Wow! Look at you.

174
00:07:44,411 --> 00:07:46,145
What's that supposed to mean?

175
00:07:46,179 --> 00:07:48,186
No, I've just never seen
you this dressed up before.

176
00:07:48,731 --> 00:07:50,167
I do what I want.

177
00:07:50,217 --> 00:07:53,419
And tonight, I'm
wanting to meet someone.

178
00:07:53,454 --> 00:07:54,520
Hmm.

179
00:07:54,545 --> 00:07:56,198
So, I have a certain
high school reputation

180
00:07:56,223 --> 00:07:57,690
I need to live up to.

181
00:07:57,724 --> 00:07:59,358
Uh huh, yeah, and good luck with that.

182
00:07:59,393 --> 00:08:01,561
Um, speaking of sexual popularity,

183
00:08:01,595 --> 00:08:06,380
I'm pretty sure that
um... that guy at the bar,

184
00:08:07,669 --> 00:08:08,840
is into me.

185
00:08:09,436 --> 00:08:12,192
- Who, Jake?
- Yeah. Jake.

186
00:08:12,847 --> 00:08:16,650
Why, was he one of your
high school conquests?

187
00:08:16,682 --> 00:08:17,938
Actually, no.

188
00:08:17,963 --> 00:08:20,446
But I have a pretty stellar
radar for being able to tell

189
00:08:20,481 --> 00:08:21,881
when guys are into me.

190
00:08:21,915 --> 00:08:25,586
Mhmm... um, and having
swam in both ponds,

191
00:08:26,026 --> 00:08:28,688
I can say that I might be
able to navigate those waters

192
00:08:28,722 --> 00:08:30,433
a little but better than you.

193
00:08:30,691 --> 00:08:33,693
Uh huh? Well, we'll see.

194
00:08:33,727 --> 00:08:35,328
Hmm.

195
00:08:47,730 --> 00:08:51,333
So-so there we are at Izzy
Tennison's country home...

196
00:08:51,367 --> 00:08:53,735
Oh, tell me she doesn't
still have that stuffed bison.

197
00:08:53,770 --> 00:08:54,655
Oh, does she have it?

198
00:08:54,705 --> 00:08:56,930
She's moved it to the front hall!

199
00:08:56,955 --> 00:08:57,639
What?!

200
00:08:57,664 --> 00:09:00,085
Grier wanted to hang
her coat on the horns!

201
00:09:02,179 --> 00:09:03,364
And it gets better. Don here...

202
00:09:03,414 --> 00:09:04,781
Oh, wait now, don't
throw me under the bus,

203
00:09:04,816 --> 00:09:06,316
it was Borden who started it all.

204
00:09:06,351 --> 00:09:08,151
Borden Simons?

205
00:09:08,186 --> 00:09:09,987
It's like old home week!

206
00:09:10,199 --> 00:09:13,233
Anyway, I look over,

207
00:09:13,258 --> 00:09:15,711
and Don and Borden are
on their hands and knees,

208
00:09:15,761 --> 00:09:18,997
crawling through the
doggie door in the kitchen!

209
00:09:19,031 --> 00:09:22,852
It was too funny!

210
00:09:22,902 --> 00:09:25,170
- Oh, you should've been there.
- Oh, wish we could've been.

211
00:09:25,204 --> 00:09:28,186
- Maybe next time.
- Well, cheers to that!

212
00:09:28,421 --> 00:09:29,989
Cheers.

213
00:09:31,208 --> 00:09:34,477
Hey uh... Johnny? Moira?

214
00:09:34,502 --> 00:09:35,895
Oh my God!

215
00:09:35,945 --> 00:09:37,865
Um, what are you guys doing here?

216
00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:41,214
Well, we-we just ran into each other.

217
00:09:41,522 --> 00:09:42,889
It's their anniversary, Roland,

218
00:09:42,924 --> 00:09:44,009
just let them do what they want.

219
00:09:44,059 --> 00:09:45,526
It's your anniversary?
You should've told us!

220
00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:46,708
We don't want to intrude.

221
00:09:46,733 --> 00:09:49,697
No, you're not intruding,
this is a surprise treat.

222
00:09:49,731 --> 00:09:53,067
Oh, okay, well then, are we intruding?

223
00:09:53,101 --> 00:09:54,153
Because before you were saying

224
00:09:54,203 --> 00:09:56,217
that you didn't wanna
go out tonight, so...

225
00:09:56,405 --> 00:09:58,406
No, no, we-we uh...

226
00:09:58,441 --> 00:10:00,075
You can certainly join us,

227
00:10:00,109 --> 00:10:01,801
if you don't have your own table.

228
00:10:01,890 --> 00:10:03,524
We do, but that would be great!

229
00:10:03,808 --> 00:10:06,210
- Okay!
- Yes, well then, by all means,

230
00:10:06,235 --> 00:10:10,071
yes, let's uh-let's...
Let's all sit at one table.

231
00:10:10,096 --> 00:10:12,097
- This is cozy. Hello.
- Hi.

232
00:10:12,221 --> 00:10:14,089
Good evening.

233
00:10:28,706 --> 00:10:30,905
Wow. Look at you.

234
00:10:31,409 --> 00:10:33,043
Is it weird that I'm here?

235
00:10:33,077 --> 00:10:34,477
It's only weird if you think it's weird.

236
00:10:34,512 --> 00:10:36,980
Yeah. Okay. I don't if you don't.

237
00:10:37,014 --> 00:10:39,416
Um, in fact, I don't actually
know how late I can stay.

238
00:10:39,450 --> 00:10:42,270
I just wanted to pop in, and say hey.

239
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:44,703
Well, you're awfully
dolled up for a "pop in."

240
00:10:44,869 --> 00:10:48,238
Oh my God, stop, I
basically came from work.

241
00:10:48,263 --> 00:10:50,398
Babe, your stove's being testy again,

242
00:10:50,423 --> 00:10:51,857
should I just serve the cider cold?

243
00:10:51,882 --> 00:10:56,820
Uh... Alexis, this is uh, my girlfriend,

244
00:10:56,968 --> 00:10:59,970
Tennessee. Wow!

245
00:11:00,004 --> 00:11:01,750
Wow. Woweee.

246
00:11:01,775 --> 00:11:03,292
Alexis, hi.

247
00:11:03,342 --> 00:11:04,709
It's so nice to finally meet you,

248
00:11:04,743 --> 00:11:06,410
Mutt's told me so much about you.

249
00:11:06,460 --> 00:11:08,751
The way he describes you,
it's like you're this...

250
00:11:09,478 --> 00:11:11,148
Beautiful little poem.

251
00:11:11,183 --> 00:11:12,968
Well, love "little!"

252
00:11:13,018 --> 00:11:15,920
Look at you! You're like a poem too.

253
00:11:15,955 --> 00:11:19,524
Like, a really pretty poem, or like,

254
00:11:19,558 --> 00:11:21,476
a mermaid, or something.

255
00:11:21,794 --> 00:11:23,875
Mutt, you're growing back your beard.

256
00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:27,198
Yeah, she likes it.

257
00:11:27,233 --> 00:11:28,515
Okay.

258
00:11:29,468 --> 00:11:32,522
Um, okay uh, I'm gonna go grab a drink.

259
00:11:32,572 --> 00:11:35,708
But um, it was so nice
to finally meet you,

260
00:11:35,742 --> 00:11:37,020
Tallahassee, so...

261
00:11:37,045 --> 00:11:39,712
- It's ah, Tennessee.
- Yes, Tennessee.

262
00:11:39,746 --> 00:11:41,999
I love that name, it's so unique.

263
00:11:42,049 --> 00:11:43,449
Um, thank God you look the way you do,

264
00:11:43,484 --> 00:11:45,639
because that name on the
wrong girl would just...

265
00:11:45,702 --> 00:11:47,336
Ooh! So...

266
00:11:47,361 --> 00:11:49,006
You should feel really
good about yourself.

267
00:11:51,412 --> 00:11:52,655
She's cute.

268
00:11:53,861 --> 00:11:56,062
You guys haven't ordered yet, have you?

269
00:11:56,096 --> 00:11:59,233
Because I need to present this
coupon to the waiter first.

270
00:12:00,691 --> 00:12:02,373
Don't know what that means.

271
00:12:02,778 --> 00:12:04,194
He's so ironic, this one.

272
00:12:04,219 --> 00:12:05,556
Oh!

273
00:12:05,606 --> 00:12:08,508
So where are you living now, Moira?

274
00:12:08,543 --> 00:12:09,839
Tell us all about it.

275
00:12:09,864 --> 00:12:13,581
Oh, we're in a rustic, ranch style...

276
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:16,487
Bungalow... that...

277
00:12:17,151 --> 00:12:18,464
It's very nice.

278
00:12:18,489 --> 00:12:21,620
Very nice, it's got plenty of parking,

279
00:12:21,645 --> 00:12:23,422
and a TV in every room.

280
00:12:23,791 --> 00:12:25,573
Oh, how many bedrooms?

281
00:12:25,598 --> 00:12:27,766
- Ten.
- Ten bedrooms!

282
00:12:27,791 --> 00:12:30,959
Yeah, well, we don't
use all the bedrooms.

283
00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:33,260
That must be a nightmare to clean!

284
00:12:33,310 --> 00:12:35,412
Um, Stevie does an adequate job.

285
00:12:35,437 --> 00:12:37,171
- Stevie's one of your staff?
- Mhmm!

286
00:12:37,372 --> 00:12:39,792
Stevie's the only staff.

287
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,743
This olive tapenade is...

288
00:12:41,777 --> 00:12:43,323
Salty, I know!

289
00:12:43,871 --> 00:12:45,438
Is it? I-I thought it was good,

290
00:12:45,869 --> 00:12:47,338
but yeah, it's salty.

291
00:12:47,998 --> 00:12:49,832
Hmm! Here's a funny story.

292
00:12:49,857 --> 00:12:51,053
Oh, good.

293
00:12:51,078 --> 00:12:53,947
On our way here, we
drove through a town...

294
00:12:54,298 --> 00:12:59,369
Not a word of a lie,
called... "Schittstown!"

295
00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:02,263
Oh! No, it was called, "Schittsville!"

296
00:13:02,298 --> 00:13:04,098
Schittsville!

297
00:13:04,133 --> 00:13:05,533
And from the looks of it,

298
00:13:05,568 --> 00:13:07,502
the town was living up to its name!

299
00:13:07,536 --> 00:13:10,238
Let's not go for the
low-hanging fruit here, Don.

300
00:13:10,272 --> 00:13:13,319
Okay? No, these are funny jokes.

301
00:13:13,609 --> 00:13:15,397
Please continue, Don.

302
00:13:15,422 --> 00:13:19,162
You see, Roland gets it!

303
00:13:28,958 --> 00:13:30,459
You know, I'm actually
having more fun at this party

304
00:13:30,493 --> 00:13:31,859
than I thought I would.

305
00:13:32,795 --> 00:13:34,305
How did you do it?

306
00:13:34,567 --> 00:13:36,434
Well, I started by drinking all four

307
00:13:36,459 --> 00:13:38,126
of those peach schnapps
that you left in my fridge...

308
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,975
No, I mean you seemed
so cool about everything

309
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:44,055
after we broke up. It
was almost annoying.

310
00:13:44,891 --> 00:13:46,140
Cool?

311
00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:50,539
Alexis... I couldn't stop crying.

312
00:13:50,927 --> 00:13:52,851
I was scaring all the animals at work.

313
00:13:53,473 --> 00:13:59,961
But when I... had to go on
our honeymoon without you,

314
00:14:00,690 --> 00:14:02,291
the zip line instructor

315
00:14:02,325 --> 00:14:04,826
at the Los Passions
Couples Resort told me

316
00:14:04,861 --> 00:14:07,125
that I just gotta get through it.

317
00:14:09,344 --> 00:14:12,195
Meaning my fear of heights,
which I did get through.

318
00:14:12,471 --> 00:14:15,390
But with you, it just...

319
00:14:16,004 --> 00:14:17,971
It took a little longer.

320
00:14:20,261 --> 00:14:21,508
I'm sorry.

321
00:14:22,477 --> 00:14:23,742
It's okay.

322
00:14:27,454 --> 00:14:28,917
Staff dance?

323
00:14:29,284 --> 00:14:30,952
Yes!

324
00:14:40,330 --> 00:14:41,597
Mmm!

325
00:14:41,622 --> 00:14:44,909
Hmm, I thought I was
shame eating in private.

326
00:14:45,128 --> 00:14:47,363
What is shame eating?

327
00:14:47,388 --> 00:14:49,355
I don't think we have
enough time for that tonight.

328
00:14:51,345 --> 00:14:52,908
Are you looking for someone?

329
00:14:53,048 --> 00:14:55,020
No, yeah, I mean, sorry,

330
00:14:55,045 --> 00:14:58,114
I'm just, I lost my friend
who should... be around here

331
00:14:58,148 --> 00:15:00,200
somewhere um, watching this so.

332
00:15:00,250 --> 00:15:01,606
Are you here with Stevie?

333
00:15:01,909 --> 00:15:03,528
I am. Yeah.

334
00:15:04,121 --> 00:15:05,688
- Okay.
- Not here "with."

335
00:15:05,722 --> 00:15:07,723
No, we're not together,
I'm very much single, so.

336
00:15:07,850 --> 00:15:09,575
You wanna get some air?

337
00:15:10,217 --> 00:15:12,218
Yeah. Uh huh.

338
00:15:12,243 --> 00:15:13,610
Mm! Yeah.

339
00:15:20,869 --> 00:15:22,537
Who do you have to kill around here

340
00:15:22,571 --> 00:15:25,759
to get another bottle
of this undrinkable wine?

341
00:15:25,900 --> 00:15:27,203
I think it's good.

342
00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:29,916
I ordered the one with the
highest alcohol content.

343
00:15:29,966 --> 00:15:31,558
What do you do, Roland?

344
00:15:31,994 --> 00:15:34,704
Something in agriculture,
by the looks of it?

345
00:15:34,754 --> 00:15:37,957
Roland is actually
the mayor of our town.

346
00:15:38,029 --> 00:15:39,453
Oh!

347
00:15:39,478 --> 00:15:40,726
Not Schittsville, I hope!

348
00:15:42,626 --> 00:15:44,683
What do you even call
someone from Schittsville?

349
00:15:44,708 --> 00:15:46,833
A Schitter? A Schitthead?

350
00:15:47,069 --> 00:15:49,559
- Okay, you know what?
- John, John.

351
00:15:49,838 --> 00:15:51,650
Don't worry, Moira, I
won't say anything untoward.

352
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:53,149
We're just having fun, John.

353
00:15:53,174 --> 00:15:54,775
And I thought we were having fun, Bev,

354
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:56,234
but you know what, we're not.

355
00:15:56,259 --> 00:15:58,493
Oh come on, it's just a joke!

356
00:15:58,611 --> 00:16:00,962
No Don, here's the joke.

357
00:16:01,012 --> 00:16:04,147
The joke is I'm sitting here
in a half decent restaurant

358
00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:07,664
with my wife... and our friends...

359
00:16:08,922 --> 00:16:12,209
And all you two have done
is complain about the food,

360
00:16:12,234 --> 00:16:14,969
and pretend that you
didn't leave us high and dry

361
00:16:14,994 --> 00:16:16,961
after we lost everything.

362
00:16:16,998 --> 00:16:17,308
Oh, we're past all that now.

363
00:16:17,358 --> 00:16:19,015
I'm not quite past it, Moira.

364
00:16:20,669 --> 00:16:22,015
You wrote us off, Don.

365
00:16:23,266 --> 00:16:24,812
Not a phone call,

366
00:16:25,606 --> 00:16:27,250
not an email,

367
00:16:27,501 --> 00:16:28,873
not a nickel.

368
00:16:30,439 --> 00:16:32,573
Roland and Jocelyn here,

369
00:16:32,598 --> 00:16:34,299
could not have been more generous

370
00:16:34,324 --> 00:16:37,437
with what little they have.

371
00:16:37,655 --> 00:16:39,619
They found us a place to live,

372
00:16:40,357 --> 00:16:42,762
they've offered us their
truck whenever we've needed it.

373
00:16:43,864 --> 00:16:46,348
They've invited us to their parties,

374
00:16:46,794 --> 00:16:50,997
they even offered to take
us out to dinner tonight.

375
00:16:51,235 --> 00:16:53,036
Well, just to be clear, Johnny,

376
00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:54,471
we were always gonna split the bill,

377
00:16:54,505 --> 00:16:55,473
it's just with the coupon...

378
00:16:55,498 --> 00:16:56,832
Rollie, Rollie.

379
00:17:00,718 --> 00:17:02,699
And that town you passed through,

380
00:17:03,224 --> 00:17:04,933
it's not called Schittsville.

381
00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:06,487
It's called Schitt's Creek.

382
00:17:07,724 --> 00:17:09,178
And it's where we live.

383
00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:22,902
So Jake, um...

384
00:17:22,936 --> 00:17:24,822
Do you drink red wine, or white wine?

385
00:17:24,872 --> 00:17:26,254
I don't really drink wine.

386
00:17:26,699 --> 00:17:28,035
I'm more of a beer guy.

387
00:17:28,060 --> 00:17:29,527
Right. Yeah.

388
00:17:29,619 --> 00:17:31,887
That doesn't help me much. Um...

389
00:17:31,952 --> 00:17:34,320
Well, I better get going.

390
00:17:34,456 --> 00:17:36,791
I've gotta get to the shop
early tomorrow morning, so.

391
00:17:36,816 --> 00:17:38,590
Oh, you work retail as well?

392
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:42,443
No, no. The wood shop. I make furniture.

393
00:17:42,468 --> 00:17:45,051
Ah. Yeah. No, I did a lot of um...

394
00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:47,030
I did a lot of wood
working in high school.

395
00:17:47,055 --> 00:17:48,604
- Oh.
- Yeah, uh,

396
00:17:48,629 --> 00:17:50,630
Christie McFadden
accidentally nailed her hand

397
00:17:50,664 --> 00:17:52,278
to her paper towel holder,

398
00:17:52,303 --> 00:17:55,395
so that's-the lesson is
just not to nail stuff...

399
00:17:59,807 --> 00:18:01,784
You know, I'm a pretty open-minded guy.

400
00:18:02,162 --> 00:18:05,081
So... why don't you stop
by the shop sometime?

401
00:18:05,380 --> 00:18:06,696
Okay.

402
00:18:06,746 --> 00:18:09,357
- Good night.
- Good night.

403
00:18:13,255 --> 00:18:15,390
I knew it!

404
00:18:24,998 --> 00:18:26,196
Uh...

405
00:18:27,403 --> 00:18:29,540
Where were you?

406
00:18:30,087 --> 00:18:31,673
Where were you?!

407
00:18:32,300 --> 00:18:34,268
Some townies were trying to get us high,

408
00:18:34,293 --> 00:18:36,394
and we didn't want to offend them,

409
00:18:36,419 --> 00:18:38,820
because they're doing so well in life.

410
00:18:39,157 --> 00:18:40,946
Didn't want to burn a bridge.

411
00:18:42,063 --> 00:18:45,119
Actually, those boys did
burn a bridge last summer.

412
00:18:45,154 --> 00:18:47,649
Luckily they don't get
as bored as they used to.

413
00:18:47,905 --> 00:18:49,772
Okay. Um...

414
00:18:49,955 --> 00:18:53,251
So Jake... is into me.

415
00:18:53,996 --> 00:18:55,103
Is he?

416
00:18:56,051 --> 00:18:58,553
- Yeah!
- What makes you think that?

417
00:18:58,603 --> 00:19:02,296
Because we just necked
out behind the barn.

418
00:19:03,515 --> 00:19:07,109
Seriously, what makes you think that?

419
00:19:08,844 --> 00:19:11,179
Because we put our mouths together,

420
00:19:11,414 --> 00:19:13,195
out behind the barn.

421
00:19:13,916 --> 00:19:16,951
Just so you know, I kissed him too.

422
00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:20,726
Well, that didn't happen.

423
00:19:21,388 --> 00:19:22,960
Who's to say?

424
00:19:24,021 --> 00:19:26,351
Well, when would you
have had time to do that?

425
00:19:28,013 --> 00:19:30,215
Did he invite you to his wood shop?

426
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:31,907
Sorry, that came out wrong.

427
00:19:43,306 --> 00:19:45,774
Smells like grass in here.

428
00:19:46,136 --> 00:19:49,972
- Oh my God!
- Oh my God!

429
00:19:51,609 --> 00:19:54,110
Okay, this is not okay! What
are you guys doing here?!

430
00:19:54,145 --> 00:19:56,589
Shhh, Alexis!

431
00:19:56,614 --> 00:19:59,156
For once in your life Shhhh!

432
00:19:59,317 --> 00:20:02,085
I don't care what snarky
remarks you kids are gonna make

433
00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:05,956
under your breath, tonight
we are dancing as a family.

434
00:20:05,990 --> 00:20:07,659
What is happening?

435
00:20:14,557 --> 00:20:16,533
Do you know your father and I

436
00:20:16,567 --> 00:20:19,682
hold great affection for the two of you?

437
00:20:20,304 --> 00:20:22,406
It may not always be obvious, but...

438
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:24,276
Just say it, Moira!

439
00:20:24,835 --> 00:20:27,503
We love you both very much.

440
00:20:27,749 --> 00:20:29,698
Love you too!

441
00:20:33,318 --> 00:20:34,852
Love you too.

442
00:21:14,241 --> 00:21:18,666
-- Corrected by ChrisKe --