1
00:00:00,417 --> 00:00:02,362
Moira, I'm sorry
I couldn't be more available

2
00:00:02,387 --> 00:00:04,427
for you today, it's just
that my sister was supposed

3
00:00:04,452 --> 00:00:05,852
to organize this with me,

4
00:00:05,878 --> 00:00:07,878
and her husband has come down
with gout for the third time.

5
00:00:07,881 --> 00:00:09,456
But I still think this
is gonna be the best

6
00:00:09,481 --> 00:00:10,947
- Asbestos Fest yet!
- You know,

7
00:00:10,972 --> 00:00:13,862
I know all about being left
in the lurch for a fundraiser.

8
00:00:13,887 --> 00:00:16,287
Eva Longoria and I
were supposed to perform

9
00:00:16,289 --> 00:00:19,657
our ventriloquist act for
the "Everybody Nose" benefit

10
00:00:19,725 --> 00:00:21,359
for juvenile rhinoplasty,

11
00:00:21,361 --> 00:00:24,706
when she suddenly drops
out due to exhaustion.

12
00:00:25,104 --> 00:00:27,331
I had to be both puppet, and puppeteer.

13
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:28,800
Okay, you know what, Moira?

14
00:00:29,068 --> 00:00:30,668
There's just a lot going on right now.

15
00:00:30,737 --> 00:00:32,503
I've got a list of
three different numbers

16
00:00:32,571 --> 00:00:33,871
that you're choosing from,

17
00:00:33,939 --> 00:00:35,584
and what would really
be helpful to everyone,

18
00:00:35,608 --> 00:00:37,041
and when I say everyone, I mean me,

19
00:00:37,110 --> 00:00:39,210
is if you could just nail down which one

20
00:00:39,278 --> 00:00:40,617
you're gonna perform tonight.

21
00:00:40,642 --> 00:00:44,125
I did get the set list from the
children's choir two weeks ago.

22
00:00:44,417 --> 00:00:48,336
I... the easiest to go with is probably

23
00:00:48,521 --> 00:00:51,222
"Shoes, Glorious Shoes,
the Imelda Marcos Story."

24
00:00:51,672 --> 00:00:53,424
- Okay.
- Never mind.

25
00:00:53,492 --> 00:00:57,228
I am going to dust off...
"Two Heads are Better".

26
00:00:57,750 --> 00:00:59,230
The one woman Siamese twin play.

27
00:00:59,298 --> 00:01:00,429
Yes-no!

28
00:01:00,942 --> 00:01:02,422
No, you know what?

29
00:01:02,994 --> 00:01:04,679
I am going to resurrect...

30
00:01:05,471 --> 00:01:08,339
"One Crazy Summer, The
Patty Hearst Story."

31
00:01:08,408 --> 00:01:10,575
It's a tale of perseverance,
much like your quest

32
00:01:10,643 --> 00:01:12,677
to bring asbestos back to the town.

33
00:01:12,745 --> 00:01:14,705
Okay, well first of all,
we're trying to get rid

34
00:01:14,747 --> 00:01:16,180
of the asbestos, Moira,

35
00:01:16,248 --> 00:01:18,156
and we really just need
you to make a decision, now.

36
00:01:18,181 --> 00:01:19,917
- Okay!
- Now!

37
00:01:19,985 --> 00:01:23,755
Well, let me think!
Uh... "Two Heads" it is.

38
00:01:23,823 --> 00:01:26,147
The Foxwood Casino Gazette did say

39
00:01:26,172 --> 00:01:28,626
it was a performance
they'd never seen before.

40
00:01:28,695 --> 00:01:30,661
- Don't write that down.
- Okay Moira,

41
00:01:30,730 --> 00:01:32,997
I just wanna slap you
right across the face.

42
00:01:33,065 --> 00:01:34,944
Patty it is! Patty.

43
00:01:37,936 --> 00:01:40,671
Although Jocelyn, I'm wondering,

44
00:01:40,740 --> 00:01:43,771
does "TV's Moira Rose"
send a different message

45
00:01:43,796 --> 00:01:46,405
than "television's Moira Rose?"

46
00:01:48,414 --> 00:01:50,577
Something to think about?

47
00:01:51,317 --> 00:01:53,419
I said, something to think about!

48
00:01:56,898 --> 00:01:58,332
Hello, you.

49
00:01:58,991 --> 00:02:05,151
-- Corrected by ChrisKe --
-- Synced by Bobs&Boba --

50
00:02:08,701 --> 00:02:11,135
- Oh hi, David.
- Hi.

51
00:02:11,204 --> 00:02:13,181
I believe you said I could
have your room for the day,

52
00:02:13,205 --> 00:02:15,665
to rehearse my act for the fundraiser.

53
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,579
Oh, you meant like, like right now?

54
00:02:18,911 --> 00:02:22,012
Okay. Um... what did you decide on?

55
00:02:22,015 --> 00:02:24,982
Well, at this very moment it's 1974,

56
00:02:25,051 --> 00:02:28,419
and this room is a San Franciscan bank.

57
00:02:28,487 --> 00:02:30,054
You're going with the
Patty Hearst story?

58
00:02:30,056 --> 00:02:31,374
Yes, I am.

59
00:02:32,825 --> 00:02:33,958
And what's wrong with that?

60
00:02:34,026 --> 00:02:36,193
Well, didn't it have
an ensemble cast of 30?

61
00:02:36,226 --> 00:02:38,396
Uh huh, and what was
your father's review?

62
00:02:38,421 --> 00:02:40,264
29 dead weights!

63
00:02:40,332 --> 00:02:41,799
So I trimmed the fat.

64
00:02:41,801 --> 00:02:43,901
You didn't even play Patty, though.

65
00:02:43,970 --> 00:02:45,603
You know I did!

66
00:02:45,671 --> 00:02:49,240
The night Patricia Lupone
ate that pre-show shwarma,

67
00:02:49,308 --> 00:02:51,216
and I was asked to step in.

68
00:02:51,857 --> 00:02:53,918
I've always wanted to reprise the role!

69
00:02:53,943 --> 00:02:56,581
I just recall that that show
was very heavy on the footwork

70
00:02:56,649 --> 00:02:59,051
and at one point you yelled, "Line!"

71
00:02:59,076 --> 00:03:00,251
in the middle of a dance break.

72
00:03:00,253 --> 00:03:02,153
Okay, some of these townspeople

73
00:03:02,221 --> 00:03:04,722
are going to experience
my triad of threats

74
00:03:04,791 --> 00:03:06,390
for the first time, David.

75
00:03:06,392 --> 00:03:09,567
Nothing less than
spectacular can do for them!

76
00:03:09,592 --> 00:03:12,973
Okay. I just remember
you practicing every day

77
00:03:12,998 --> 00:03:14,565
for seven months with
that dance instructor

78
00:03:14,633 --> 00:03:16,400
that I ended up dating.

79
00:03:16,468 --> 00:03:18,865
Are you sure you remember it all?

80
00:03:19,605 --> 00:03:22,273
Skip Fosse once told me
that when it comes to choreo,

81
00:03:22,341 --> 00:03:24,898
always leave some room for spontaneity.

82
00:03:25,678 --> 00:03:27,912
- Okay.
- Okay, you know what?

83
00:03:27,914 --> 00:03:29,313
If you feel it's necessary, fine,

84
00:03:29,381 --> 00:03:30,926
I won't stand in the
way of you spotting.

85
00:03:30,950 --> 00:03:33,083
Well unfortunately,
I can't spot you now,

86
00:03:33,152 --> 00:03:34,518
because now I have to go to work.

87
00:03:34,521 --> 00:03:37,888
- Oh, then go to work!
- Okay. Good luck.

88
00:03:37,891 --> 00:03:39,323
No, you say, "break a leg."

89
00:03:39,391 --> 00:03:41,192
- Okay, that, too.
- Say "break a leg!"

90
00:03:41,260 --> 00:03:43,580
Break a leg!

91
00:03:44,688 --> 00:03:46,688
Okay, here. Ahem! We're
going to ease in...

92
00:03:47,900 --> 00:03:49,555
with a machine gun ballet.

93
00:03:56,643 --> 00:03:57,842
- Hi, sorry.
- Hey! This guy!

94
00:03:57,844 --> 00:04:00,911
- Excuse me, hey. - Hey, yeah.
- What's up. Yeah...

95
00:04:00,980 --> 00:04:02,914
And we mark up the retail price.

96
00:04:02,982 --> 00:04:05,049
- Okay.
- What are you doing here?

97
00:04:05,074 --> 00:04:06,995
Patrick has offered to help
me with this school assignment

98
00:04:07,019 --> 00:04:09,453
- I told you that, David.
- Hey.

99
00:04:09,521 --> 00:04:11,055
Um, you did not tell me that.

100
00:04:11,123 --> 00:04:13,076
Yeah, how are your
friends doing outside?

101
00:04:13,490 --> 00:04:15,526
- They're harmless, thanks.
- Are they? Cool.

102
00:04:15,594 --> 00:04:17,127
Um, we're actually just
in the middle of something,

103
00:04:17,130 --> 00:04:19,496
- so if you wouldn't mind...
- I would mind, but...

104
00:04:19,499 --> 00:04:22,399
- Okay, so, profit margins.
- Mhmm?

105
00:04:22,402 --> 00:04:24,635
Um, how do you get more of those?

106
00:04:24,637 --> 00:04:27,319
Well, you'd start by
telling the group of teens

107
00:04:27,344 --> 00:04:29,206
that hang out outside
your store every afternoon

108
00:04:29,275 --> 00:04:31,860
to leave because they're
scaring off actual customers.

109
00:04:32,211 --> 00:04:35,453
Okay, they're not scaring off customers,

110
00:04:35,478 --> 00:04:37,915
there was one that looked meth-y.

111
00:04:37,983 --> 00:04:39,817
And I don't know where he went.

112
00:04:39,819 --> 00:04:41,752
See, your brother doesn't
wanna tell them off.

113
00:04:41,754 --> 00:04:43,387
Which is, and you can write this down,

114
00:04:43,456 --> 00:04:45,322
- a financial liability.
- Liability.

115
00:04:45,549 --> 00:04:49,159
Incorrect! The fact that we have youths

116
00:04:49,162 --> 00:04:52,129
minding their own business
in front of our store

117
00:04:52,197 --> 00:04:54,298
builds, and you can write this down...

118
00:04:54,323 --> 00:04:56,400
- No.
- Street cred.

119
00:04:56,468 --> 00:04:58,979
Okay, are they actually buying anything?

120
00:04:59,401 --> 00:05:03,173
Yes! They're coming in,
and they're buying gum.

121
00:05:03,176 --> 00:05:05,034
And what else are they doing, David?

122
00:05:05,712 --> 00:05:08,713
They're coming in,
they're looking around,

123
00:05:08,885 --> 00:05:11,749
and they're buying gum.

124
00:05:11,817 --> 00:05:13,717
And maybe complimenting my outfits.

125
00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:16,186
- There it is!
- No, there what is?

126
00:05:16,255 --> 00:05:19,790
I'm sorry that you connect
with a more mature clientele,

127
00:05:19,858 --> 00:05:22,293
whereas I vibe with
a much younger crowd.

128
00:05:22,361 --> 00:05:25,129
Oh.

129
00:05:26,465 --> 00:05:30,111
- Nice sweater, bro!
- Um... God, I...

130
00:05:30,136 --> 00:05:32,736
This is so old, and I can't
even remember where I got it.

131
00:05:32,739 --> 00:05:35,910
Do you guys remember-sorry,
where I got this sweater?

132
00:05:36,876 --> 00:05:38,609
- What just happened to you?
- Huh?

133
00:05:38,611 --> 00:05:40,379
Like, breathe it out.

134
00:05:42,481 --> 00:05:44,048
Hey there, Johnny!

135
00:05:44,116 --> 00:05:46,617
Just so you know, I'm
obviously a beer guy,

136
00:05:46,686 --> 00:05:49,243
but I've never been known to turn down

137
00:05:49,268 --> 00:05:51,221
a fresh bouquet of flowers...

138
00:05:51,290 --> 00:05:52,990
Roland, what are you talking about?

139
00:05:53,058 --> 00:05:55,225
Well, you are gonna be
thanking me pretty soon

140
00:05:55,228 --> 00:05:57,127
for saving your bacon, so I just thought

141
00:05:57,196 --> 00:06:00,631
- I'd give you some gift ideas.
- I'm kinda busy right now.

142
00:06:00,699 --> 00:06:03,567
Yeah, I can see that.
Very busy, right, Johnny?

143
00:06:03,636 --> 00:06:06,209
Apparently too busy to change the bulb

144
00:06:06,234 --> 00:06:08,005
that's burned out over room three.

145
00:06:08,073 --> 00:06:10,341
Roland, I fail to see how
pointing out problems here

146
00:06:10,409 --> 00:06:12,410
is saving my bacon.

147
00:06:12,478 --> 00:06:14,078
I know a guy who needs some work,

148
00:06:14,146 --> 00:06:15,646
and I told him I'd do him a favour,

149
00:06:15,714 --> 00:06:18,549
and get him a job right
here in the motel, so...

150
00:06:18,617 --> 00:06:20,651
Uh huh. And why does it
sound like I'd be the one

151
00:06:20,653 --> 00:06:22,453
doing your friend the favour?

152
00:06:22,521 --> 00:06:23,699
Well Johnny, I'm the middle man,

153
00:06:23,723 --> 00:06:26,458
I'm the one that kind
of made this all happen.

154
00:06:27,060 --> 00:06:29,259
Well, nothing's happened,
so you can tell your friend

155
00:06:29,262 --> 00:06:31,362
we can't afford him.

156
00:06:31,430 --> 00:06:34,264
You know, when I started
Rose Video we had one employee

157
00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:36,744
per store working start to close,

158
00:06:36,769 --> 00:06:38,669
so keeping an eye on the bottom line,

159
00:06:38,671 --> 00:06:40,538
that's how a young business grows.

160
00:06:40,606 --> 00:06:42,073
- Uh huh...
- Besides,

161
00:06:42,141 --> 00:06:44,508
Stevie and I are managing
just fine on our own.

162
00:06:44,577 --> 00:06:46,844
All I'm saying is keep
an open mind, okay?

163
00:06:46,912 --> 00:06:48,836
It might be nice to
have a guy around here

164
00:06:48,861 --> 00:06:51,315
who has some basic skills for a change.

165
00:06:51,361 --> 00:06:55,351
And I'm sorry, but we all
know how Rose Video turned out!

166
00:06:55,788 --> 00:06:58,489
You know, Rose Video was the
second largest video chain in-

167
00:06:58,557 --> 00:07:00,224
Oohhh!

168
00:07:00,292 --> 00:07:02,631
Did you ask him why he's been
wandering around with a notepad,

169
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:04,194
it's really starting
to creep out the guests.

170
00:07:04,263 --> 00:07:06,074
Yeah, he's pitching a
guy he knows to help out

171
00:07:06,098 --> 00:07:07,798
around the motel, but don't worry,

172
00:07:07,866 --> 00:07:11,569
I told him that we're a well
oiled machine at this point.

173
00:07:11,637 --> 00:07:13,703
Yeah, that I've been greasing.

174
00:07:14,106 --> 00:07:16,674
Your new policy about helping
the guests with the bags...

175
00:07:16,742 --> 00:07:18,686
Yeah, and you know, we're
getting very good feedback

176
00:07:18,711 --> 00:07:20,411
about that on the comment cards.

177
00:07:20,479 --> 00:07:22,312
But I've been the one carrying them,

178
00:07:22,381 --> 00:07:24,648
because "somebody" has a bad back.

179
00:07:24,716 --> 00:07:26,997
Well Stevie, if I lift a roll
of toilet paper, you know,

180
00:07:27,053 --> 00:07:28,986
it... flares up.

181
00:07:28,988 --> 00:07:30,231
Okay well, I'm starting to look like

182
00:07:30,255 --> 00:07:33,656
a Slovakian shot putter,
so I'm with Roland.

183
00:07:33,681 --> 00:07:35,348
We're gonna be hiring someone else.

184
00:07:42,201 --> 00:07:43,344
Thanks, bro.

185
00:07:43,784 --> 00:07:46,051
Come back again soon, guys.

186
00:07:47,806 --> 00:07:49,006
Great sale, bro.

187
00:07:49,075 --> 00:07:51,508
Four teens, one pack of
gum, which you gift wrapped.

188
00:07:51,577 --> 00:07:53,344
Hey, why don't we just
close the store up,

189
00:07:53,412 --> 00:07:55,345
and celebrate for the rest of the day?

190
00:07:55,348 --> 00:07:57,721
I'll have you know that
it was one pack of gum,

191
00:07:57,746 --> 00:07:59,716
- and one lip balm.
- Oh!

192
00:07:59,785 --> 00:08:01,643
Well, that'll make up for all the stuff

193
00:08:01,668 --> 00:08:03,347
they've been stealing.

194
00:08:03,655 --> 00:08:05,656
- I'm sorry?
- What do you mean, stealing?

195
00:08:05,724 --> 00:08:08,578
Those kids are one hundred
percent stealing from you.

196
00:08:09,128 --> 00:08:10,494
I don't think so.

197
00:08:10,562 --> 00:08:13,597
Okay. They split up into
four different directions,

198
00:08:13,599 --> 00:08:16,667
one takes the back left
corner, one takes the right,

199
00:08:16,735 --> 00:08:19,203
one of them asks you if
you have those wool hoodies

200
00:08:19,271 --> 00:08:20,604
in a different size,

201
00:08:20,672 --> 00:08:23,240
while the last one compliments
you on your cuticle game.

202
00:08:23,309 --> 00:08:24,975
And while you're lapping all that up,

203
00:08:25,044 --> 00:08:26,745
the two in the back corner
are filling their backpacks

204
00:08:26,770 --> 00:08:28,610
full of facial cleanser.

205
00:08:29,281 --> 00:08:31,601
It's the exact same move that
I used with my klepto friends

206
00:08:31,650 --> 00:08:33,250
in the Hamptons.

207
00:08:33,318 --> 00:08:34,885
I-I feel like I would've sent that.

208
00:08:34,953 --> 00:08:36,898
Yeah, I mean, maybe that's
what you and your burnout

209
00:08:36,922 --> 00:08:39,211
friends did at the Miss Sixty store,

210
00:08:39,236 --> 00:08:40,891
but that's not what's happening here.

211
00:08:40,893 --> 00:08:44,328
Okay. Why don't you go check, then?

212
00:08:53,472 --> 00:08:54,976
I can't tell if there's product missing,

213
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:56,901
or if we just haven't replenished.

214
00:08:57,074 --> 00:08:58,686
I feel like if someone
were robbing our store

215
00:08:58,710 --> 00:09:02,246
- we would know about it, right?
- Uh yeah, we would know.

216
00:09:02,314 --> 00:09:04,781
Though this would
explain the compliments.

217
00:09:04,850 --> 00:09:06,049
- That's...
- What?

218
00:09:06,118 --> 00:09:08,441
Give it an hour, they'll be back.

219
00:09:08,466 --> 00:09:10,387
They only took the
toner and the cleanser,

220
00:09:10,389 --> 00:09:12,000
and if they're not selling
it on the black market,

221
00:09:12,024 --> 00:09:13,624
then they'll need to come
back and get the moisturizer,

222
00:09:13,626 --> 00:09:15,591
or their t-zones are going to be like,

223
00:09:15,898 --> 00:09:17,799
super effed!

224
00:09:21,157 --> 00:09:22,833
Johnny, I gotta say, uh,

225
00:09:22,901 --> 00:09:24,501
I'm glad you came around to your senses,

226
00:09:24,504 --> 00:09:25,703
and may I tell you something,

227
00:09:25,771 --> 00:09:27,913
I don't feel like you're less of a man

228
00:09:27,938 --> 00:09:29,484
because you need a little
help with your business.

229
00:09:29,508 --> 00:09:31,008
Yeah, that's good to know, Roland.

230
00:09:31,076 --> 00:09:32,643
So where's the guy?

231
00:09:32,645 --> 00:09:35,112
Oh he'll be here, don't you worry.

232
00:09:35,180 --> 00:09:38,258
Mr. Worry!

233
00:09:38,283 --> 00:09:39,961
And I think you're
really going to like him,

234
00:09:39,985 --> 00:09:43,551
he's very smart, he's
devilishly handsome,

235
00:09:43,576 --> 00:09:45,489
and he stands about yay tall,

236
00:09:45,924 --> 00:09:47,424
maybe a little bit more like that.

237
00:09:47,492 --> 00:09:49,426
Okay, I see where this is going.

238
00:09:49,494 --> 00:09:51,996
- Or do you?
- Roland, what are we doing here?

239
00:09:52,064 --> 00:09:54,942
Johnny, it's me! I'm the guy!

240
00:09:54,967 --> 00:09:56,200
I know you're the guy,

241
00:09:56,268 --> 00:09:58,435
I got that as soon as
I said where's the guy?

242
00:09:58,503 --> 00:10:00,804
Oh my god, you should
see the look on your face!

243
00:10:00,873 --> 00:10:03,140
Impatience, that's the look!

244
00:10:03,209 --> 00:10:06,243
All right, we do need help at
the motel, we do need someone,

245
00:10:06,311 --> 00:10:07,722
but someone who is going to pitch in,

246
00:10:07,746 --> 00:10:09,146
and do some of the grunt work.

247
00:10:09,214 --> 00:10:11,215
And I am willing to roll up my sleeves,

248
00:10:11,283 --> 00:10:13,250
and help out my best friend!

249
00:10:13,318 --> 00:10:14,618
Okay, I gotta go.

250
00:10:14,686 --> 00:10:16,220
Whoa, whoa, whoa! No, no, no, no!

251
00:10:16,288 --> 00:10:18,430
Now I wasn't joking
about my skills, pal!

252
00:10:18,455 --> 00:10:20,023
Come on, what do you
say we give it a shot?

253
00:10:20,026 --> 00:10:21,603
- I don't think so, no.
- Huh? Going once.

254
00:10:21,627 --> 00:10:22,559
- Going twice.
- No.

255
00:10:22,562 --> 00:10:23,805
- Going 3 times.
- Roland! All right.

256
00:10:23,829 --> 00:10:25,096
Going 4 times. Going 5 times...

257
00:10:25,121 --> 00:10:28,866
All right, all right, all
right. All right. Fine.

258
00:10:28,934 --> 00:10:32,072
But only because we could
actually use some help.

259
00:10:32,304 --> 00:10:35,506
- That's a smart move, Johnny.
- But consider this a trial.

260
00:10:35,574 --> 00:10:36,718
Yeah, that's probably a good idea,

261
00:10:36,742 --> 00:10:38,943
I don't wanna commit
until I know I like it.

262
00:10:44,818 --> 00:10:47,585
Stick 'em up. It's a hold up.

263
00:10:47,654 --> 00:10:51,601
♪ Nobody move
but me-me-me-me! ♪

264
00:10:52,459 --> 00:10:54,259
♪ But me! ♪

265
00:10:54,327 --> 00:10:56,294
♪ Who goes there? ♪

266
00:10:56,362 --> 00:10:59,197
- It's Jocelyn.
- Oh!

267
00:10:59,199 --> 00:11:00,898
Good news, Moira, don't ask me why,

268
00:11:00,901 --> 00:11:03,401
but Gwen had a hunting
rifle in her basement,

269
00:11:03,469 --> 00:11:05,248
and I'm hoping this
is good for your act!

270
00:11:05,672 --> 00:11:08,569
Um, it was a machine gun.

271
00:11:09,042 --> 00:11:13,077
So I need a machine gun
for the machine gun ballet!

272
00:11:13,146 --> 00:11:15,024
Okay Moira, you've got
to meet me halfway here,

273
00:11:15,048 --> 00:11:18,149
- this is a real gun!
- What?

274
00:11:18,217 --> 00:11:20,218
And I got you extra performance time,

275
00:11:20,287 --> 00:11:23,321
I got the children's
choir down to one song!

276
00:11:23,346 --> 00:11:26,491
Some of the kids cried. Oh, Jocelyn.

277
00:11:26,493 --> 00:11:28,793
Jocelyn, why? Why, why,
why, would you do that?

278
00:11:28,861 --> 00:11:30,995
Because you asked for more time, Moira!

279
00:11:31,064 --> 00:11:33,188
But... Jocelyn!

280
00:11:34,467 --> 00:11:36,434
Did you know that rehearsal,

281
00:11:36,503 --> 00:11:38,469
it can be the most enlightening

282
00:11:38,538 --> 00:11:40,774
and even heuristic exercise.

283
00:11:41,207 --> 00:11:42,618
What are you saying?

284
00:11:43,643 --> 00:11:47,353
I'm saying I am stepping out
of the limelight, Jocelyn.

285
00:11:48,148 --> 00:11:50,448
But we already re-printed the posters

286
00:11:50,516 --> 00:11:54,452
from "TV's Moira Rose," to
"Television's Moira Rose!"

287
00:11:54,521 --> 00:11:56,521
And that's great, that
will get them in the door

288
00:11:56,589 --> 00:11:58,723
and then the kids take over from there!

289
00:11:58,725 --> 00:12:00,892
- That's...
- Okay.

290
00:12:01,957 --> 00:12:03,978
I see what's going on here.

291
00:12:04,798 --> 00:12:07,532
- Somebody's got cold feet.
- Ha ha.

292
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:10,068
Blocks of ice. Mhmm.

293
00:12:10,143 --> 00:12:11,743
I bit off more than I could chew.

294
00:12:11,804 --> 00:12:15,340
You know what, Moira,
we have all been there.

295
00:12:15,342 --> 00:12:17,942
Yeah. On my wedding day, I thought,

296
00:12:17,944 --> 00:12:20,645
what if I just got in my
car and drove to New Mexico,

297
00:12:20,713 --> 00:12:23,740
and left Roland at the altar
at the Elmdale Bingo Hall?

298
00:12:24,117 --> 00:12:26,250
Bottom line, I got cold feet too,

299
00:12:26,319 --> 00:12:29,087
and I faced my fears,
and now look at us!

300
00:12:29,155 --> 00:12:30,842
27 years of bliss.

301
00:12:31,457 --> 00:12:34,492
Was I to perceive something
encouraging within that...

302
00:12:34,494 --> 00:12:35,927
little anecdote?

303
00:12:37,064 --> 00:12:39,873
Okay, you know what,
Moira, pull it together.

304
00:12:40,233 --> 00:12:42,067
I'm taking this gun.

305
00:12:44,737 --> 00:12:47,138
Okay, Patty, come on, Patty!

306
00:12:47,218 --> 00:12:50,445
Patty, the eyes of the
lonely world are on you!

307
00:12:52,512 --> 00:12:55,179
So, five, six, seven, eight, Patty!

308
00:12:57,417 --> 00:12:59,284
Five, six, seven, eight!

309
00:13:00,987 --> 00:13:02,954
Nine, ten-nine...

310
00:13:03,022 --> 00:13:04,856
Nine, ten, eleven, twelve!

311
00:13:04,924 --> 00:13:07,428
♪♪♪

312
00:13:09,696 --> 00:13:12,630
Like clockwork, David.

313
00:13:13,833 --> 00:13:15,867
- Hey!
- Yeah.

314
00:13:15,935 --> 00:13:18,936
Hey! Can I help you guys
with anything, or... ?

315
00:13:19,005 --> 00:13:20,420
No, we're just looking.

316
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:23,074
Okay, cool. Cool, cool, yeah, yeah.

317
00:13:23,076 --> 00:13:26,320
Look around. You do you.

318
00:13:26,345 --> 00:13:28,947
Uh, hey, do you have this in like,

319
00:13:29,015 --> 00:13:30,648
a larger size, maybe?

320
00:13:30,650 --> 00:13:32,483
I don't know, I'll
have to go all the way

321
00:13:32,508 --> 00:13:34,241
into the back to check.

322
00:13:38,224 --> 00:13:40,124
Hey, man!

323
00:13:40,193 --> 00:13:41,526
I like your shoes, where'd you get them?

324
00:13:41,528 --> 00:13:44,328
- Oh! Oh...
- Oh! Um, these?

325
00:13:44,397 --> 00:13:46,697
I got these at a boutique in Prague

326
00:13:46,722 --> 00:13:49,243
that's only open on Sunday nights.

327
00:13:49,268 --> 00:13:50,902
- Cool.
- Is it?

328
00:13:50,904 --> 00:13:53,905
Uh hey, I think we're gonna head.

329
00:13:53,973 --> 00:13:57,724
Oh, um wait, but-you
forgot something, though.

330
00:13:59,106 --> 00:14:00,873
What?!

331
00:14:01,114 --> 00:14:02,257
Look, please don't do anything crazy,

332
00:14:02,281 --> 00:14:03,815
it took me so long to make that.

333
00:14:03,883 --> 00:14:05,583
Well, I'll be happy to give it back,

334
00:14:05,651 --> 00:14:07,819
when you and your skid
mark friends give back

335
00:14:07,887 --> 00:14:09,587
all of the products that you've stolen.

336
00:14:09,655 --> 00:14:10,855
And if I'm being honest,

337
00:14:10,923 --> 00:14:12,623
someone with your combination of skin

338
00:14:12,692 --> 00:14:14,859
should really be using product
with tea tree oil in it.

339
00:14:16,652 --> 00:14:18,086
I...

340
00:14:19,933 --> 00:14:21,532
Hand it over.

341
00:14:21,601 --> 00:14:23,267
I thought she was too cool to work here.

342
00:14:23,336 --> 00:14:26,562
I don't work here, and
I am really cool, so.

343
00:14:27,006 --> 00:14:29,007
Don't do it again, and
I won't call the Po Po.

344
00:14:29,075 --> 00:14:31,876
- Did she say Po Po?
- Okay! Okay!

345
00:14:31,945 --> 00:14:33,177
I think we're done here.

346
00:14:33,246 --> 00:14:34,746
Okay, I just have one more question.

347
00:14:34,814 --> 00:14:37,815
All those compliments, and fist pumps...

348
00:14:37,884 --> 00:14:39,317
- Bumps.
- Shut up.

349
00:14:39,319 --> 00:14:41,552
Was that just part of the big scheme?

350
00:14:41,555 --> 00:14:44,422
- No, you have cool style.
- I like your shoes.

351
00:14:44,491 --> 00:14:46,663
They're lying to you, David,
they're lying, they're lying.

352
00:14:47,860 --> 00:14:49,327
Okay, get out.

353
00:14:49,395 --> 00:14:52,096
Right, so...

354
00:14:55,417 --> 00:14:57,635
- Ugh...
- What? Why me?

355
00:14:57,637 --> 00:14:59,760
- I just feel really gross.
- Why did I get one?

356
00:15:01,541 --> 00:15:03,708
Okay, so there's window
repair in room four.

357
00:15:03,776 --> 00:15:05,109
Mhmm...

358
00:15:05,178 --> 00:15:07,222
And then the bathroom in
room 5 still needs to be done.

359
00:15:07,246 --> 00:15:08,846
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

360
00:15:08,915 --> 00:15:11,816
- Can you handle that?
- No, I am just waiting to hear

361
00:15:11,884 --> 00:15:14,485
something that's in my wheelhouse.

362
00:15:14,554 --> 00:15:18,523
Okay uh, why don't you just
start by changing the sheets?

363
00:15:18,525 --> 00:15:21,192
Honey, that kinda sounds
like a Johnny job to me.

364
00:15:21,260 --> 00:15:23,895
Why don't we just put
a "J" next to that.

365
00:15:23,897 --> 00:15:26,797
No, no, no! We're putting
an "R" next to that,

366
00:15:26,866 --> 00:15:31,038
Roland, I thought you said you
had no problem doing grunt work.

367
00:15:31,063 --> 00:15:32,748
Well Johnny, how's it going
to look to have the mayor

368
00:15:32,772 --> 00:15:34,883
of the town changing sheets?

369
00:15:35,242 --> 00:15:37,508
Uh, we change sheets!

370
00:15:37,511 --> 00:15:39,054
Well great, so then,
you've got it covered,

371
00:15:39,078 --> 00:15:40,622
let's put a big, fat
"J" next to that one.

372
00:15:40,646 --> 00:15:43,681
No, no, we're not putting
a "J," we're putting an "R!"

373
00:15:43,750 --> 00:15:46,450
Or better yet, Roland,
why not just get to work?

374
00:15:46,519 --> 00:15:48,039
This isn't exactly what I had in mind

375
00:15:48,087 --> 00:15:51,489
- when I said I needed help.
- Yeah, I know.

376
00:15:51,557 --> 00:15:53,892
No, guys, look, I just
need to find something

377
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:55,560
that caters to my expertise.

378
00:15:55,628 --> 00:15:57,095
That's all, you know what I can do?

379
00:15:57,163 --> 00:15:58,963
I can restock the soda machine.

380
00:15:59,032 --> 00:16:00,798
Yeah, the soda machines
are fine, Roland.

381
00:16:00,866 --> 00:16:03,901
What would actually help is if
you could clean a toilet or two,

382
00:16:03,970 --> 00:16:06,398
but obviously, you're too good for that.

383
00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:08,506
- No, I can clean a toilet.
- You know what,

384
00:16:08,575 --> 00:16:10,041
- I think we made a mistake, Stevie.
- Mhmm.

385
00:16:10,043 --> 00:16:12,310
- No! I wanna clean a toilet.
- We'll hire somebody else.

386
00:16:12,378 --> 00:16:14,361
No, I need to clean a toilet!

387
00:16:16,082 --> 00:16:18,049
You need to clean a toilet?

388
00:16:18,117 --> 00:16:20,051
Yeah, I need to Johnny,

389
00:16:20,119 --> 00:16:23,254
I... I mean, with the new baby coming,

390
00:16:23,256 --> 00:16:24,789
things are a little tight.

391
00:16:24,791 --> 00:16:26,490
Joc and I have been trying to save,

392
00:16:26,559 --> 00:16:29,327
but we've been living
off cold cuts and waffles.

393
00:16:29,395 --> 00:16:31,762
And Jocelyn had to sell
her Beanie Baby collection.

394
00:16:31,831 --> 00:16:34,599
And she didn't get half what
that Diana bear was worth.

395
00:16:34,667 --> 00:16:37,535
And now she's working nights
down at the gas station.

396
00:16:37,604 --> 00:16:39,370
- She's working nights?
- No, she's not,

397
00:16:39,438 --> 00:16:43,241
but she will have to if
things get really bad.

398
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:49,647
All right.

399
00:16:49,715 --> 00:16:51,349
- Here's what we're gonna do.
- Hmm?

400
00:16:51,417 --> 00:16:52,850
We're putting an "R" beside

401
00:16:52,918 --> 00:16:54,685
every single thing on this list.

402
00:16:54,754 --> 00:16:57,321
Got it. Okay. Now when you say "R,"

403
00:16:57,390 --> 00:16:59,390
does that stand for
Rose, as in Johnny Rose...

404
00:16:59,458 --> 00:17:01,392
- Roland! It stands for Roland!
- Okay.

405
00:17:01,461 --> 00:17:04,095
And you can start by taking
those sheets over to room two.

406
00:17:04,163 --> 00:17:05,408
You got it.

407
00:17:16,809 --> 00:17:19,010
Ew! What are you doing in my bed?

408
00:17:19,078 --> 00:17:21,245
Oh, David please, I
couldn't possibly make it

409
00:17:21,314 --> 00:17:23,414
all the way to my own bed.

410
00:17:23,482 --> 00:17:25,696
I'm-I'm just uh...

411
00:17:26,452 --> 00:17:28,386
I'm exhausted!

412
00:17:29,656 --> 00:17:32,556
- Was it the footwork?
- Oh, it was the footwork.

413
00:17:32,625 --> 00:17:34,759
It was the score, it was the book,

414
00:17:34,827 --> 00:17:36,735
it was all of that, David.

415
00:17:37,196 --> 00:17:40,332
But most severely lacking... was me.

416
00:17:41,901 --> 00:17:43,601
You were right, my dear.

417
00:17:43,603 --> 00:17:47,315
I've had my time, and it's over now.

418
00:17:47,340 --> 00:17:49,473
Um, I don't think I said that.

419
00:17:49,542 --> 00:17:51,887
There is an elephant in the room David,

420
00:17:52,244 --> 00:17:54,879
and he's whispering, "retire!"

421
00:17:54,947 --> 00:17:57,148
Run David, go to Jocelyn,

422
00:17:57,216 --> 00:17:59,550
and tell her to cancel the evening.

423
00:17:59,618 --> 00:18:02,476
Okay... um well, I won't be doing that,

424
00:18:03,756 --> 00:18:06,090
but...

425
00:18:06,158 --> 00:18:09,249
there is one other option.

426
00:18:09,674 --> 00:18:11,124
What?

427
00:18:12,298 --> 00:18:14,868
What if we did...

428
00:18:15,371 --> 00:18:17,305
the number?

429
00:18:18,838 --> 00:18:20,237
- The number?
- Yeah, I know,

430
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:23,001
it was stupid, it was
dumb. It was a dumb idea.

431
00:18:24,633 --> 00:18:28,118
David, you would do that for me?

432
00:18:29,594 --> 00:18:31,649
I thought you used to hate
it when I'd trot you out

433
00:18:31,651 --> 00:18:33,551
in front of my friends?

434
00:18:33,619 --> 00:18:38,255
I still do, it's just that
I'm finding this situation

435
00:18:38,258 --> 00:18:40,176
to be incredibly disturbing,

436
00:18:40,393 --> 00:18:43,856
and I will eventually need my bed back.

437
00:18:44,396 --> 00:18:47,265
Do you think people
would find it strange,

438
00:18:47,290 --> 00:18:51,219
- or even inappropriate?
- Probably.

439
00:18:51,537 --> 00:18:54,472
And do you think we still have it?

440
00:18:55,775 --> 00:18:58,642
I'll go plug in my hair straightener.

441
00:18:58,711 --> 00:19:00,532
I hope you're not wearing your shoes.

442
00:19:08,555 --> 00:19:10,133
Okay, let's have
another round of applause

443
00:19:10,157 --> 00:19:11,623
for the children's choir,

444
00:19:11,691 --> 00:19:13,091
and their Kylie Minogue medley!

445
00:19:14,861 --> 00:19:17,095
Those were some racy lyrics!

446
00:19:17,163 --> 00:19:19,097
Okay. Ladies and gentlemen,

447
00:19:19,099 --> 00:19:22,634
I know that your headliner
tonight is gonna surprise you,

448
00:19:22,702 --> 00:19:24,402
because she certainly surprised me

449
00:19:24,471 --> 00:19:26,004
when she told me just moments ago

450
00:19:26,072 --> 00:19:27,739
that she'd switched up her entire act,

451
00:19:27,807 --> 00:19:30,075
even though somebody put
down a really hefty deposit

452
00:19:30,143 --> 00:19:31,915
on a wall of mirrors!

453
00:19:35,249 --> 00:19:39,751
Okay anyways, without
further ado, the main event!

454
00:19:45,392 --> 00:19:48,059
Oh, thank you so much.

455
00:19:48,062 --> 00:19:50,128
Um, is this the number?

456
00:19:50,196 --> 00:19:52,355
It's the middle of summer.

457
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:56,668
Brr! It's awfully cold out there.

458
00:19:56,670 --> 00:19:57,936
Um, they used to do this act

459
00:19:58,004 --> 00:19:59,871
every year at our Christmas party,

460
00:19:59,873 --> 00:20:01,773
and you can't unsee something like this.

461
00:20:03,443 --> 00:20:04,909
Ahem!

462
00:20:05,001 --> 00:20:07,469
Oh, I wonder who that could be!

463
00:20:08,581 --> 00:20:10,949
It's television's Moira Rose!

464
00:20:12,319 --> 00:20:14,452
That's television's mom, to you.

465
00:20:15,822 --> 00:20:19,090
You know, nothing is
colder than the chill I get

466
00:20:19,159 --> 00:20:22,227
when I think of the dangers
of asbestos poisoning.

467
00:20:22,295 --> 00:20:23,829
Mhmm.

468
00:20:23,897 --> 00:20:26,031
Luckily, a little birdie told me

469
00:20:26,099 --> 00:20:28,133
that with enough funds raised,

470
00:20:28,201 --> 00:20:31,611
this town could be asbestos free by...

471
00:20:32,106 --> 00:20:35,006
Christmas!

472
00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:41,780
- ♪ Ding! ♪
- ♪ Dong! ♪

473
00:20:41,848 --> 00:20:43,415
- ♪ Ding! ♪
- ♪ Dong! ♪

474
00:20:43,483 --> 00:20:44,682
- ♪ Ding! ♪
- ♪ Dong! ♪

475
00:20:44,751 --> 00:20:45,884
- ♪ Ding! ♪
- ♪ Dong! ♪

476
00:20:45,952 --> 00:20:47,519
♪ On the first day of Christmas, ♪

477
00:20:47,587 --> 00:20:49,154
♪ My true love gave to me, ♪

478
00:20:49,222 --> 00:20:51,790
♪ The keys to a Lamborghini ♪

479
00:20:51,858 --> 00:20:54,426
- ♪ On the...
- Oh come all ye faithful... ♪

480
00:20:54,494 --> 00:20:57,996
♪ Deck the halls with
boughs of holly... ♪

481
00:20:58,065 --> 00:21:01,833
Yes, I said faithful,
which rules out all of you!

482
00:21:10,276 --> 00:21:12,778
♪ God rest ye, merry gentlemen ♪

483
00:21:12,846 --> 00:21:17,590
♪ Let nothing you
dismay may-may-may ♪

484
00:21:20,014 --> 00:21:24,490
-- Corrected by ChrisKe --
-- Synced by Bobs&Boba --