1 00:00:01,273 --> 00:00:03,014 "Premiere?!" They're doing a premiere? 2 00:00:03,101 --> 00:00:04,668 I thought it was streaming on Interflix? 3 00:00:04,755 --> 00:00:07,018 Where are they thinking? I.? New York? 4 00:00:07,105 --> 00:00:09,368 London might be central for the Bosnian team. 5 00:00:09,455 --> 00:00:11,152 No, they're not doing a premiere. 6 00:00:11,239 --> 00:00:13,764 Alexis, your flip-chart says "premiere." 7 00:00:13,851 --> 00:00:15,809 Okay, will you let me finish what I'm trying say? 8 00:00:15,896 --> 00:00:16,953 What're you trying to say? 9 00:00:17,041 --> 00:00:19,154 I'm sorry, why are you even involved in this conversation? 10 00:00:19,242 --> 00:00:22,078 - What is it, Alexis?! - Oh my God, okay! 11 00:00:22,205 --> 00:00:24,688 So I thought because they're not throwing a premiere, 12 00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:27,075 we could plan a premiere screening here in town. 13 00:00:27,163 --> 00:00:29,127 Could be like a cute press angle. 14 00:00:29,214 --> 00:00:31,869 Oh, sure, for a scrappy little novice, 15 00:00:31,956 --> 00:00:34,959 but not for someone who's cut many a crimson rug. 16 00:00:35,046 --> 00:00:37,427 What's next, I sign my name in the pavement 17 00:00:37,515 --> 00:00:38,666 outside Bob's Garage? 18 00:00:38,754 --> 00:00:41,549 Jocelyn gives you an honourary degree at her school? 19 00:00:41,637 --> 00:00:44,165 Host the Met Ga-la at David's store? 20 00:00:44,253 --> 00:00:45,307 I don't like that one. 21 00:00:45,395 --> 00:00:48,318 No, I have like big plans for an immersive experience. 22 00:00:48,406 --> 00:00:50,297 Ronnie said that she can find a red carpet, 23 00:00:50,385 --> 00:00:53,238 and Roland has a guy who rents out live crows. 24 00:00:54,303 --> 00:00:56,589 I think we should take the lead from Interflix. 25 00:00:56,763 --> 00:00:59,991 I cannot stop the masses from gathering to view the film, 26 00:01:00,079 --> 00:01:03,470 but best... best to avoid any fulsome indecorum 27 00:01:03,558 --> 00:01:06,077 until we're assured a positive reaction. 28 00:01:06,164 --> 00:01:08,253 Remember that "Waterworld II" premiere? 29 00:01:08,340 --> 00:01:11,789 Exactly, David. Oh, the last place anyone wanted to be 30 00:01:11,877 --> 00:01:13,132 when those reviews came in 31 00:01:13,220 --> 00:01:14,874 was a glass-bottomed pirate ship 32 00:01:14,984 --> 00:01:17,856 in the middle of the ocean. Mm. 33 00:01:19,090 --> 00:01:21,309 - Good luck though. - Lick rust! Thank you! 34 00:01:22,030 --> 00:01:24,173 *SCHITT's CREEK* Season 06 Episode 05 35 00:01:24,260 --> 00:01:26,891 *SCHITT's CREEK* Episode Title: "The Premiere" 36 00:01:29,889 --> 00:01:31,998 Can't thank you enough for driving today, Stevie. 37 00:01:32,086 --> 00:01:34,023 I don't know what is going on with my car. 38 00:01:34,110 --> 00:01:36,336 I do. It's a death trap that needs to be set on fire 39 00:01:36,424 --> 00:01:37,354 and pushed off a cliff. 40 00:01:37,442 --> 00:01:39,491 Well, I'd love to say I had a choice in the matter, 41 00:01:39,579 --> 00:01:40,987 but according to David, 42 00:01:41,074 --> 00:01:43,337 driving his fiancé to go get his wisdom teeth out 43 00:01:43,424 --> 00:01:45,992 is totally within my maid-of honour responsibilities. 44 00:01:46,079 --> 00:01:48,037 Okay, tell me how I'm being unreasonable? 45 00:01:48,124 --> 00:01:49,822 Also, if this is what it takes 46 00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:51,780 to get you out of that dank little apartment... 47 00:01:51,867 --> 00:01:54,435 Excuse me, I have a business meeting this afternoon. 48 00:01:56,436 --> 00:01:58,408 Just gonna leave it at that? 49 00:01:59,078 --> 00:02:01,385 Mr. Rose asked if he could come over to my place. 50 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:04,088 I think he's gonna push for me to come back, 51 00:02:04,645 --> 00:02:07,012 and I don't know if I can say no. 52 00:02:07,329 --> 00:02:09,021 And that's a bad thing? 53 00:02:09,164 --> 00:02:10,905 I'm supposed to be looking for other jobs. 54 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,556 Okay. Honestly, Stevie, 55 00:02:12,644 --> 00:02:15,289 what other job is better than owning your own business? 56 00:02:15,377 --> 00:02:17,944 I guess I just feel like after making such a big deal out of... 57 00:02:18,097 --> 00:02:19,915 wanting to see what else is out there, 58 00:02:20,003 --> 00:02:21,591 isn't it kind of... pathetic 59 00:02:22,152 --> 00:02:24,928 to like... crawl back? 60 00:02:25,016 --> 00:02:26,698 Don't answer that. 61 00:02:26,806 --> 00:02:29,113 I already turned down another job interview today. 62 00:02:29,248 --> 00:02:31,799 Maybe you just needed to see what you didn't want 63 00:02:31,887 --> 00:02:33,465 in order to figure out what you do? 64 00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:35,161 Look at me. Two years ago, 65 00:02:35,264 --> 00:02:37,296 I thought I'd have a wife and kid at this point. 66 00:02:37,701 --> 00:02:40,397 Yeah, well, one out of two isn't bad. 67 00:02:40,548 --> 00:02:42,396 I've been told I'm... very young at heart. 68 00:02:44,137 --> 00:02:45,816 Can you drive better, please? 69 00:02:51,013 --> 00:02:52,885 - Hi. - Uh-oh! 70 00:02:52,972 --> 00:02:55,104 Hello, Access Hollywood? 71 00:02:55,191 --> 00:02:57,960 Have I got a star sighting for you! 72 00:02:58,309 --> 00:02:59,832 Very pawky, Jocelyn. 73 00:02:59,935 --> 00:03:00,980 I just heard the big news. 74 00:03:01,067 --> 00:03:03,243 A movie premiere in our own backyard! 75 00:03:03,330 --> 00:03:04,592 I might have to buy a dress! 76 00:03:04,679 --> 00:03:06,942 Uh... save yourselves the trip to Frocks4Less. 77 00:03:07,029 --> 00:03:08,221 From what I've heard, 78 00:03:08,309 --> 00:03:09,985 it's more of a minor league viewing party. 79 00:03:10,073 --> 00:03:11,438 Well, I'm still excited. 80 00:03:11,526 --> 00:03:13,773 It reminds me of that time that Renée Zellweger's brother 81 00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,769 came in here, and I got him to sign a menu. 82 00:03:15,864 --> 00:03:17,517 I mean, he spelled his name differently, 83 00:03:17,605 --> 00:03:20,256 but I swear it was him. 84 00:03:20,344 --> 00:03:22,616 Well, I don't know, Moira, I'm no movie expert, 85 00:03:22,704 --> 00:03:24,403 but according to the early reviews, 86 00:03:24,491 --> 00:03:26,622 you may have a hit on your hands. 87 00:03:26,741 --> 00:03:28,046 - Reviews? - Yeah. 88 00:03:28,133 --> 00:03:29,700 There was an article posted on the Crows account 89 00:03:29,787 --> 00:03:31,963 that you made us all follow. Come look! 90 00:03:34,607 --> 00:03:37,965 Ornithology Today! Well, if anyone knows crows... 91 00:03:38,053 --> 00:03:40,711 "The Crows Have Eyes III is 'good fun.'" 92 00:03:40,850 --> 00:03:43,325 Well, that's hyperbolic. I mean, they already had "fun" 93 00:03:43,413 --> 00:03:45,004 and now they've added "good." 94 00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:46,637 Keep reading! 95 00:03:46,992 --> 00:03:49,962 "The film showcases the emotional depth 96 00:03:50,050 --> 00:03:51,766 and intellectual capacity 97 00:03:51,853 --> 00:03:55,291 of our oft-maligned friend, the crow." 98 00:03:55,586 --> 00:03:58,073 We were resolute about not making an issues movie, 99 00:03:58,161 --> 00:04:00,239 but I'm glad they picked up on that. 100 00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:01,828 It mentions you, Moira. 101 00:04:01,916 --> 00:04:03,281 It does? Where? 102 00:04:03,369 --> 00:04:04,692 My eyes are blurred. 103 00:04:04,779 --> 00:04:06,152 Oh, here it is. 104 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:08,884 "Moira Rose, as Dr. Clara Mandrake, 105 00:04:08,972 --> 00:04:11,242 is delightfully unhinged." 106 00:04:12,133 --> 00:04:13,937 Do you know what they call this, gals? 107 00:04:14,039 --> 00:04:15,789 An understated rave. 108 00:04:15,877 --> 00:04:17,639 Oh, it's too bad you won't be there tonight. 109 00:04:17,727 --> 00:04:19,473 It would've been nice to cheer you on. 110 00:04:19,561 --> 00:04:20,919 Yeah, and my plus-one, 111 00:04:21,007 --> 00:04:22,946 Janet from the Elmdale Chronicle, 112 00:04:23,034 --> 00:04:24,836 would've really loved a quote. 113 00:04:24,924 --> 00:04:26,878 Well, you might want to tell your friend Janet 114 00:04:26,966 --> 00:04:30,575 that there just may be a bombshell attendee after all. 115 00:04:30,663 --> 00:04:33,616 Yay! A premiere! 116 00:04:33,704 --> 00:04:36,929 Oh, I don't know if I have anything fancy enough to wear. 117 00:04:37,017 --> 00:04:38,973 Oh, my default is always formal, 118 00:04:39,061 --> 00:04:42,681 but I'm sure no one will bat a side-eye at black-tie casual. 119 00:04:43,588 --> 00:04:45,676 Oh, but do pack eyedrops! 120 00:04:45,764 --> 00:04:48,474 The film's first third is densely packed with exposition, 121 00:04:48,562 --> 00:04:50,290 and you won't want to blink. 122 00:04:50,377 --> 00:04:52,398 Are you sure it's okay that we haven't seen 123 00:04:52,486 --> 00:04:53,597 the first two movies? 124 00:04:53,685 --> 00:04:54,899 Oh, it's actually best. 125 00:04:54,987 --> 00:04:56,749 A lot of this film blatantly contradicts 126 00:04:56,837 --> 00:04:59,530 what's been established in the first two. 127 00:04:59,618 --> 00:05:02,259 Sorry, Twyla. I'm not going to eat now! 128 00:05:08,777 --> 00:05:11,946 - Okay, here we go. - That was a fun car ride. 129 00:05:12,034 --> 00:05:13,530 Yes, it was very fun. 130 00:05:13,618 --> 00:05:16,183 Thank you so much for all the hot tips 131 00:05:16,271 --> 00:05:17,612 you were giving our Uber driver. 132 00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:20,059 For a second, I was concerned about my rating, 133 00:05:20,146 --> 00:05:22,571 but I think he seemed to enjoy all the wrong directions 134 00:05:22,659 --> 00:05:23,890 you were yelling at him. 135 00:05:23,978 --> 00:05:26,003 David, I'm hungry. 136 00:05:26,143 --> 00:05:28,125 ♪ I'm a hungry, hungry hippo 137 00:05:28,213 --> 00:05:29,985 'Kay, we're not supposed to feed you right now. 138 00:05:30,072 --> 00:05:32,154 Can you make me a lasagna, David? 139 00:05:32,455 --> 00:05:33,597 Imagine? No. 140 00:05:33,685 --> 00:05:35,123 I think we rest this little voice, 141 00:05:35,211 --> 00:05:36,649 'cause you have been chatting ever since 142 00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:39,620 the dentist's office. Why are you so handsome? 143 00:05:39,708 --> 00:05:41,281 I mean, unless you wanna keep talking. 144 00:05:41,369 --> 00:05:42,959 In which case, that works as well. 145 00:05:43,047 --> 00:05:46,303 How come your skin is like... perfect. 146 00:05:46,390 --> 00:05:48,682 It's a nine-step regimen I do twice a day. 147 00:05:48,770 --> 00:05:50,176 - It's not a big deal. - I'm tired. 148 00:05:50,264 --> 00:05:51,688 Oh, okay. Well, you know what, 149 00:05:51,776 --> 00:05:53,753 we should probably get you over to the bed. 150 00:05:53,841 --> 00:05:55,097 O-kay. 151 00:05:55,192 --> 00:05:57,530 You know what I really wanna do with you? 152 00:05:57,618 --> 00:05:59,579 Uh-huh. Ethically speaking, 153 00:05:59,667 --> 00:06:01,780 I don't think we can do that with you in this state. 154 00:06:01,868 --> 00:06:03,224 Have a baby. 155 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,583 'Kay, we will make a baby 156 00:06:05,670 --> 00:06:08,020 as soon as you sober up. 157 00:06:08,107 --> 00:06:11,472 Oh no, not make a baby. Have a baby. 158 00:06:12,718 --> 00:06:15,445 Like I wanna have like a little baby with you. 159 00:06:15,766 --> 00:06:19,274 And we could just love it and hold it and bounce it. 160 00:06:19,362 --> 00:06:21,190 Yeah, that's a... that's a big one-eighty. 161 00:06:21,278 --> 00:06:24,454 - You would be such a good dad. - Have we met? 162 00:06:24,542 --> 00:06:26,212 I wish you were my dad. 163 00:06:26,299 --> 00:06:27,831 Okay, now we're just spiraling off 164 00:06:27,919 --> 00:06:29,729 - in all directions. - Shh! Listen, okay? 165 00:06:29,817 --> 00:06:31,565 Come here, come here. I got a secret. 166 00:06:31,652 --> 00:06:32,697 - I don't... - Come on. 167 00:06:32,784 --> 00:06:34,133 Mm... 168 00:06:35,122 --> 00:06:36,558 David? 169 00:06:37,615 --> 00:06:39,007 I'm very hungry. 170 00:06:39,095 --> 00:06:40,878 Okay, there's nothing I can do about that. 171 00:06:40,966 --> 00:06:42,458 - Wait. Just lie down with me. - Okay. 172 00:06:42,546 --> 00:06:45,285 - I wanna, I wanna hold you. - Mmhmm. 173 00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:49,956 Imagine us right now, 174 00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:52,769 but just with a little baby. 175 00:07:01,984 --> 00:07:03,176 - Hey, Stevie! - Hey... 176 00:07:03,264 --> 00:07:04,407 Hey. 177 00:07:05,636 --> 00:07:08,214 - Oh! What's this? - Thank you. 178 00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:09,834 You didn't have to bring anything. 179 00:07:09,922 --> 00:07:12,044 Oh, just a little housewarming platter, 180 00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,981 since it's my first time here. 181 00:07:14,069 --> 00:07:15,848 Twyla whipped up some sandwiches. 182 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,010 - Hope you like mayo. - Thank you. 183 00:07:18,098 --> 00:07:20,449 Wow, so this is, this is your place. 184 00:07:21,294 --> 00:07:23,986 I'm glad you didn't feel you needed to clean up 185 00:07:24,074 --> 00:07:25,393 on my account, you know? 186 00:07:25,481 --> 00:07:28,266 It shows just how comfortable a friendship we actually have. 187 00:07:29,089 --> 00:07:30,613 - I did clean up. - Right. 188 00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:32,865 That's... what I meant. 189 00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,607 You didn't feel the need to clean up, 190 00:07:34,695 --> 00:07:38,031 but I appreciate the fact that, uh, that you did. 191 00:07:39,469 --> 00:07:41,297 How are things at the motel? 192 00:07:41,488 --> 00:07:44,447 Good. We bought the second motel! 193 00:07:44,535 --> 00:07:48,496 First phase of many in the Rosebud Motel expansion. 194 00:07:48,661 --> 00:07:50,622 Big things on the horizon, Stevie, 195 00:07:50,710 --> 00:07:53,807 which is, uh, why I wanted to sit down with you today. 196 00:07:53,895 --> 00:07:55,093 But not on your bed. 197 00:07:55,181 --> 00:07:56,974 Oh, here. 198 00:07:58,220 --> 00:07:59,395 Right. 199 00:08:00,891 --> 00:08:03,567 So... Stevie, 200 00:08:04,134 --> 00:08:06,171 it goes without saying that... 201 00:08:06,259 --> 00:08:08,630 you've been an invaluable part of the team. 202 00:08:08,736 --> 00:08:10,694 You don't need to sell me on the team, Mr. Rose. 203 00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:13,611 And when I was your age, I had a million and one ideas 204 00:08:13,699 --> 00:08:15,407 and things I wanted to explore, 205 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,802 and I know it takes time to find the right fit. 206 00:08:18,046 --> 00:08:20,944 Which is why I have a proposal. 207 00:08:21,127 --> 00:08:23,129 Oh! Okay. 208 00:08:23,344 --> 00:08:24,824 I wanna buy you out. 209 00:08:26,062 --> 00:08:27,321 Oh! 210 00:08:27,409 --> 00:08:29,658 Now I know the motel has been a weight on your shoulders, 211 00:08:29,746 --> 00:08:31,618 and I can offer you installment payments 212 00:08:31,706 --> 00:08:33,490 to give up your status as owner. 213 00:08:33,578 --> 00:08:35,797 And that would give you some financial stability 214 00:08:35,885 --> 00:08:38,410 while you take the time and figure things out. 215 00:08:42,062 --> 00:08:45,363 I thought you were gonna try to talk me into coming back. 216 00:08:45,451 --> 00:08:47,410 Oh, no, no. That wouldn't be fair. 217 00:08:47,498 --> 00:08:49,678 Wouldn't be fair to you. I'm not gonna stand in the way 218 00:08:49,766 --> 00:08:51,855 of you finding what makes you happy. 219 00:08:52,680 --> 00:08:56,510 And, and speaking of, I wanted to give you this. 220 00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:06,900 Oh, wow... 221 00:09:07,091 --> 00:09:10,274 I don't know what to say. 222 00:09:10,393 --> 00:09:12,149 Well, once you get past the haircut 223 00:09:12,237 --> 00:09:14,112 and... the dated references, 224 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,535 I'm sure you might find something useful in there 225 00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:18,886 to help you get your footing. 226 00:09:20,802 --> 00:09:22,652 You don't have to downplay your excitement 227 00:09:22,740 --> 00:09:24,376 on my account, Stevie. 228 00:09:24,464 --> 00:09:26,020 I'll be just fine. 229 00:09:36,855 --> 00:09:38,488 Okay, so I may have a problem. 230 00:09:38,576 --> 00:09:40,243 Oh, it's barely noticeable, dear. 231 00:09:40,346 --> 00:09:41,956 We'll find you an electrologist. 232 00:09:42,043 --> 00:09:43,828 No, I'm talking about the viewing party. 233 00:09:43,915 --> 00:09:45,612 I just got a call from the Elmdale Chronicle. 234 00:09:45,699 --> 00:09:47,223 Ah yes, Jocelyn's guest. 235 00:09:47,310 --> 00:09:48,857 We'll need to set aside an extra seat. 236 00:09:48,945 --> 00:09:50,501 Okay, it's just that I know that you don't wanna make 237 00:09:50,588 --> 00:09:52,796 a big deal about of this, so I can just tell them not to come. 238 00:09:52,883 --> 00:09:55,505 I may have been wrong and you may have been not wrong. 239 00:09:55,642 --> 00:09:58,248 We can position this as a terrifying tale 240 00:09:58,336 --> 00:10:01,639 premiering in an equally spine-chilling town. 241 00:10:01,745 --> 00:10:04,492 If the ornithologist review is any barometer, Alexis, 242 00:10:04,580 --> 00:10:07,278 we m-m-m-m-m may just have a hit on our hands. 243 00:10:07,373 --> 00:10:09,530 Um, last week, you told me explicitly 244 00:10:09,618 --> 00:10:11,551 that this was not a premiere, and now it's too late. 245 00:10:11,638 --> 00:10:13,423 Alexis, if you want to cut your teeth 246 00:10:13,510 --> 00:10:15,051 as a high-profile publicist, 247 00:10:15,139 --> 00:10:17,253 you'll need to get used to throwing things together 248 00:10:17,340 --> 00:10:19,342 in a crunch. I have four hours! 249 00:10:19,429 --> 00:10:20,604 That's eons! 250 00:10:20,691 --> 00:10:23,434 When Demi decided on a Friday night at 6pm 251 00:10:23,554 --> 00:10:26,182 that she wanted to celebrate her 40th in Aspen, 252 00:10:26,270 --> 00:10:28,786 her publicist had us in parkas by 7. 253 00:10:28,873 --> 00:10:31,975 Sadly, Megan went into cardiac arrest on the flight, 254 00:10:32,063 --> 00:10:34,533 but she perished doing what she loved. 255 00:10:34,792 --> 00:10:37,186 Um, is that your gown? What is that for? 256 00:10:37,274 --> 00:10:40,142 Oh, I thought I might throw it on for tonight. 257 00:10:40,276 --> 00:10:41,625 So you're going to the screening? 258 00:10:41,712 --> 00:10:43,503 Yes. A simple "Thank you, Mother" 259 00:10:43,591 --> 00:10:45,368 might be a nice place to start. 260 00:10:45,455 --> 00:10:47,094 Also, I thought you returned that? 261 00:10:47,182 --> 00:10:49,328 I did! Or I know I returned a dress. 262 00:10:49,415 --> 00:10:51,163 A glittering, backless thing. 263 00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:52,456 Stella McCartney, I think. 264 00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:54,463 That was mine. I've been looking for that. 265 00:10:54,551 --> 00:10:56,899 - Blame UPS. - Ugh! 266 00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:08,481 Hey, Alexis, this better be good. 267 00:11:08,569 --> 00:11:10,813 I was in the middle of a pre-show bath, 268 00:11:10,901 --> 00:11:12,032 and with the baby around, 269 00:11:12,119 --> 00:11:14,753 I only get that kind of me-time maybe... 270 00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,322 - five to six nights a week, so... - Mmhmm. 271 00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:18,217 I assume this has something to do 272 00:11:18,305 --> 00:11:20,264 with all the calls we're getting from TV stations, 273 00:11:20,352 --> 00:11:22,042 asking where they can park their vans? 274 00:11:22,129 --> 00:11:24,065 Um, yeah. So the premiere may be getting 275 00:11:24,153 --> 00:11:25,440 like a little bit bigger than I had 276 00:11:25,527 --> 00:11:26,431 - planned. - Oh, sanp! 277 00:11:26,432 --> 00:11:27,483 It's a premiere now? 278 00:11:27,570 --> 00:11:28,788 'Cause first you said it was, 279 00:11:28,875 --> 00:11:30,703 and then you said it was just a viewing party. 280 00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:33,265 Yeah, and, and if it's a premiere, we're all in trouble, 281 00:11:33,353 --> 00:11:35,537 because my skinny jeans are in the wash. 282 00:11:35,815 --> 00:11:37,135 No, it is a premiere. 283 00:11:37,223 --> 00:11:39,715 Unfortunately, that decision was made like half an hour ago, 284 00:11:39,803 --> 00:11:40,929 so it would be really helpful 285 00:11:41,017 --> 00:11:42,357 if I could just tell you what I need. 286 00:11:42,444 --> 00:11:45,010 Oh no, the red carpet that you told me not to order? 287 00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:46,525 Yes, but at this point, 288 00:11:46,613 --> 00:11:47,853 I will settle for any shade of red, 289 00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:49,363 and it doesn't have to be sixty feet. 290 00:11:49,450 --> 00:11:50,933 Okay, good, 'cause all I've got 291 00:11:51,021 --> 00:11:52,770 is a 20-foot merlot in my garage. 292 00:11:52,858 --> 00:11:55,533 I ripped out after the church basement flooded. 293 00:11:55,621 --> 00:11:56,981 That sounds amazing. 294 00:11:57,069 --> 00:11:59,732 And obviously you're coming to me for a little star power. 295 00:11:59,819 --> 00:12:02,169 I get it. It'd be good to have a name there tonight. 296 00:12:02,256 --> 00:12:04,259 No. No. You're the crow hook-up. 297 00:12:04,347 --> 00:12:06,499 I wanted to create like a headline-grabbing moment 298 00:12:06,586 --> 00:12:07,769 where I release a bunch of crows 299 00:12:07,856 --> 00:12:09,383 just before the movie starts. 300 00:12:09,471 --> 00:12:12,387 Uh, excuse me, it's a little late notice. 301 00:12:12,475 --> 00:12:13,824 What about the liquor license? 302 00:12:13,912 --> 00:12:15,739 'Cause I assuming people are gonna wanna be drinking 303 00:12:15,826 --> 00:12:16,820 through this thing. 304 00:12:16,908 --> 00:12:18,475 Okay, we have a situation on our hands 305 00:12:18,664 --> 00:12:20,057 that needs to be solved now. 306 00:12:20,144 --> 00:12:22,886 We have a 12-time Daytime Emmy Award-attending actress 307 00:12:22,973 --> 00:12:25,192 coming to walk a merlot carpet in hours, 308 00:12:25,279 --> 00:12:26,846 and press coming from all over, 309 00:12:26,933 --> 00:12:28,674 bringing attention to your town. 310 00:12:28,761 --> 00:12:30,415 So either you can help me out 311 00:12:30,503 --> 00:12:32,679 or I pull the plug now and nobody wins. 312 00:12:35,942 --> 00:12:39,279 Fine. But you owe me a prime spot on that carpet. 313 00:12:39,772 --> 00:12:41,774 Wait, you wanna walk the carpet? 314 00:12:41,987 --> 00:12:44,647 Honey, it's a movie premiere, is it not? 315 00:12:44,734 --> 00:12:46,475 - Ugh. - And I assume the mayor 316 00:12:46,562 --> 00:12:48,477 is walking the carpet as well, yes? 317 00:12:48,564 --> 00:12:50,455 Yes... if he has to. 318 00:12:50,576 --> 00:12:53,829 Okay, I will schedule your arrival time when I get home. 319 00:12:53,917 --> 00:12:56,565 I would like to request a time before Roland. 320 00:12:56,653 --> 00:12:58,328 - And I'd like to go first. - Mm-'kay. 321 00:12:58,416 --> 00:12:59,445 All right, I better get back 322 00:12:59,532 --> 00:13:01,265 and put my skinny jeans into the dryer. 323 00:13:01,353 --> 00:13:04,118 I think they're really gonna pop on your 20-foot merlot. 324 00:13:04,206 --> 00:13:05,450 I think so too! 325 00:13:05,537 --> 00:13:07,297 They're gonna pop on that carpet. 326 00:13:07,964 --> 00:13:09,323 Okay. Mm! 327 00:13:09,411 --> 00:13:10,456 Okay. 328 00:13:10,544 --> 00:13:11,667 Okay. 329 00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:19,986 Stevie! Perfect timing. 330 00:13:20,073 --> 00:13:23,217 I was having a technical issue opening a file here. 331 00:13:23,305 --> 00:13:25,507 It's, uh, being finicky. 332 00:13:25,644 --> 00:13:28,212 Uh, remember, Mr. Rose? I left you a sticky note. 333 00:13:30,757 --> 00:13:33,129 Ah! Boy, it's times like this 334 00:13:33,217 --> 00:13:35,524 I really miss having you around, Stevie. 335 00:13:35,611 --> 00:13:37,925 Well, um, that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about, 336 00:13:38,012 --> 00:13:39,751 Mr. Rose. Um, you know 337 00:13:39,839 --> 00:13:41,617 how you told me to take some time 338 00:13:41,704 --> 00:13:44,137 and figure out what made me happy? 339 00:13:44,620 --> 00:13:46,970 Well, I think I have settled on something. 340 00:13:47,155 --> 00:13:48,667 Is it Larry Air? 341 00:13:48,754 --> 00:13:50,582 'Cause they called me for a reference, 342 00:13:50,669 --> 00:13:54,552 and also asked if I had any interest in becoming a pilot. 343 00:13:54,815 --> 00:13:57,067 No, it's not Larry Air. 344 00:13:57,491 --> 00:13:59,287 So chapter one of your book 345 00:13:59,375 --> 00:14:01,377 is all about trusting your instincts, 346 00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:03,160 and I haven't been doing that. 347 00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:05,023 Oh, well, that's okay, Stevie. 348 00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:06,755 I mean, learning to trust your instincts 349 00:14:06,843 --> 00:14:10,123 is something that comes with age and experience. 350 00:14:10,339 --> 00:14:14,026 No. I'm talking about trusting your instincts. 351 00:14:14,411 --> 00:14:16,457 I think I've been taking them for granted. 352 00:14:16,782 --> 00:14:19,340 So, you read my book? 353 00:14:20,429 --> 00:14:22,447 Most of the first chapter. 354 00:14:23,093 --> 00:14:26,189 I didn't sleep well last night, so I kind of dozed off. 355 00:14:26,277 --> 00:14:29,050 Well, the first chapter is more of an introduction, right? 356 00:14:29,138 --> 00:14:30,792 Setting the table. 357 00:14:31,591 --> 00:14:33,761 'Kay, but what I've realized 358 00:14:34,404 --> 00:14:36,661 is that you've given me the opportunity 359 00:14:36,749 --> 00:14:38,456 to take this job and run with it. 360 00:14:38,663 --> 00:14:42,023 So, if you really think you can make something 361 00:14:42,111 --> 00:14:44,462 out of franchising this motel, 362 00:14:44,622 --> 00:14:47,421 I think I want to be part of it. 363 00:14:47,712 --> 00:14:49,075 You think? 364 00:14:49,460 --> 00:14:50,929 I wanna be part of it. 365 00:14:52,074 --> 00:14:53,640 I want back in. 366 00:14:54,690 --> 00:14:56,086 Oh! 367 00:15:02,741 --> 00:15:03,916 Yeah. 368 00:15:05,144 --> 00:15:07,560 Well, I... should probably tell you 369 00:15:07,648 --> 00:15:11,402 that you don't necessarily have to trust all my instincts... 370 00:15:11,489 --> 00:15:13,404 all the time. Since you've been gone, 371 00:15:13,491 --> 00:15:16,543 I did have to bring on a third business partner, 372 00:15:16,631 --> 00:15:17,966 and I may as well tell you that it's... 373 00:15:18,053 --> 00:15:19,181 Roland. I know. 374 00:15:19,269 --> 00:15:20,762 He gave me his new business card. 375 00:15:20,850 --> 00:15:23,545 Never saw so many typos on a business card. 376 00:15:23,632 --> 00:15:26,459 Do you mind if we don't talk about Roland right now, 377 00:15:26,547 --> 00:15:29,018 'cause I'm feeling really good about this decision. 378 00:15:29,106 --> 00:15:30,775 Ah! Yeah, me too, partner. 379 00:15:30,885 --> 00:15:32,129 Me too. 380 00:15:32,442 --> 00:15:34,031 Listen, while you're here, 381 00:15:34,119 --> 00:15:36,206 I'm wondering if I can get a couple more refreshers 382 00:15:36,294 --> 00:15:39,480 on... what happens after the file gets opened? 383 00:15:43,457 --> 00:15:45,773 Uh... you may as well. Yeah. 384 00:15:52,346 --> 00:15:53,652 Morning, sunshine. 385 00:15:53,740 --> 00:15:55,498 Mm. It's 5pm. 386 00:15:55,586 --> 00:15:56,825 But good morning. 387 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:59,959 I really don't remember how I got into this bed. 388 00:16:00,069 --> 00:16:01,636 I do. 389 00:16:01,724 --> 00:16:03,879 You were talking. 390 00:16:05,769 --> 00:16:07,408 - A lot. - Uhoh. 391 00:16:07,576 --> 00:16:08,949 - What was I saying? - Well, 392 00:16:09,037 --> 00:16:10,632 the conversation really ran the gamut. 393 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,278 You complimented my flawless skin 394 00:16:12,366 --> 00:16:14,194 and called me the Jewish Channing Tatum, 395 00:16:14,282 --> 00:16:16,114 which all tracks. 396 00:16:16,394 --> 00:16:20,093 But then you told me you wanted us to have a baby. 397 00:16:22,028 --> 00:16:23,465 What else did I say? 398 00:16:23,553 --> 00:16:25,120 I put you to sleep after that. 399 00:16:25,344 --> 00:16:26,807 Wait. Are you, are you joking? 400 00:16:26,895 --> 00:16:28,984 No. No, no. You held me close 401 00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:31,434 and told me to envision our lives... 402 00:16:31,557 --> 00:16:32,800 with a child. 403 00:16:33,647 --> 00:16:35,736 - I see. - Mm-hm. 404 00:16:35,907 --> 00:16:38,736 That, uh, that must've been scary for you. 405 00:16:38,895 --> 00:16:41,767 It was a little triggering. Traumatizing. 406 00:16:42,076 --> 00:16:44,867 David, I know that you don't want kids, 407 00:16:45,224 --> 00:16:47,150 and that's fine with me, okay? 408 00:16:47,237 --> 00:16:48,952 I was very high on anesthetic. 409 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:50,619 Okay, it's just that earlier today, 410 00:16:50,707 --> 00:16:51,766 when we were in Stevie's car 411 00:16:51,853 --> 00:16:53,258 because your car's always in the shop, 412 00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:55,515 you had mentioned that you'd always pictured yourself 413 00:16:55,603 --> 00:16:56,983 having a kid. 414 00:16:57,071 --> 00:16:58,583 You've never pictured yourself doing something 415 00:16:58,670 --> 00:17:00,242 - that didn't end up happening? - Of course. 416 00:17:00,329 --> 00:17:02,529 I'm not married to Christina Aguilera, am I? 417 00:17:02,945 --> 00:17:04,485 - David, I am happy... - But it's... 418 00:17:04,573 --> 00:17:06,207 with the life I've got. 419 00:17:06,657 --> 00:17:08,181 I'm happy with you. 420 00:17:08,483 --> 00:17:09,989 Things change. 421 00:17:11,275 --> 00:17:12,755 Okay. 422 00:17:12,843 --> 00:17:14,192 You're a hundred percent sure 423 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:16,674 you're not just saying you don't wanna have a kid, 424 00:17:16,762 --> 00:17:18,521 but, in actuality, you secretly do 425 00:17:18,609 --> 00:17:21,612 and are repressing that need just for me? 426 00:17:21,794 --> 00:17:23,606 I don't wanna undermine the significance 427 00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:25,515 of this conversation, but I do wanna make it known 428 00:17:25,602 --> 00:17:27,451 that I was watching "Bridget Jones's Baby" 429 00:17:27,539 --> 00:17:29,080 right before I went under. 430 00:17:29,628 --> 00:17:31,701 Okay, well that makes a little more sense then. 431 00:17:31,796 --> 00:17:34,618 Mm. You would be a great dad, though. 432 00:17:35,818 --> 00:17:36,840 Okay. 433 00:17:36,928 --> 00:17:38,832 You have a big old heart in there, David. 434 00:17:38,945 --> 00:17:40,642 - Yeah. Yeah, - There it is. 435 00:17:40,944 --> 00:17:43,077 - It's beating away. - Mmhmm? 436 00:17:43,845 --> 00:17:46,809 Um... Can you grab me those painkillers, please? 437 00:17:46,897 --> 00:17:48,384 I think I'm gonna need a few of them 438 00:17:48,472 --> 00:17:49,814 if we're still planning on making it 439 00:17:49,901 --> 00:17:51,005 to your mom's thing tonight. 440 00:17:51,092 --> 00:17:52,807 Okay, that's actually a very good idea. 441 00:17:53,612 --> 00:17:54,825 I might take one myself. 442 00:17:54,913 --> 00:17:57,757 Apparently the first 15 minutes are very, very dense. 443 00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:03,032 Moira! Over here! 444 00:18:03,129 --> 00:18:06,021 Moira! Moira! 445 00:18:06,149 --> 00:18:07,833 Well, break a leg, sweetheart. 446 00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:09,357 I'll be right here... 447 00:18:09,445 --> 00:18:10,844 10 feet behind you. 448 00:18:10,932 --> 00:18:12,934 No, John, tonight is special, 449 00:18:13,022 --> 00:18:16,133 and I'd like my hand-candy by my side. 450 00:18:16,221 --> 00:18:17,357 - Moira! - Oh. 451 00:18:17,445 --> 00:18:18,476 Moira! 452 00:18:18,564 --> 00:18:21,186 Okay, people, we actually need to walk the carpet, okay? 453 00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:23,896 Move it along. Ronnie? Look, we had a deal. 454 00:18:23,984 --> 00:18:26,551 Also, not everyone can be on the carpet at once. 455 00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:27,662 Thank you. 456 00:18:27,750 --> 00:18:30,076 When exactly are we gonna get this show on the road? 457 00:18:30,164 --> 00:18:31,617 As soon as you're off the carpet. 458 00:18:31,705 --> 00:18:33,359 Okay, because Carmine is saying 459 00:18:33,473 --> 00:18:34,963 that the crows are getting restless. 460 00:18:35,051 --> 00:18:35,973 Mm! 461 00:18:36,061 --> 00:18:37,694 Where did all these people come from? 462 00:18:37,782 --> 00:18:39,625 Why are your pupils so dilated. 463 00:18:39,713 --> 00:18:41,525 - No, yours are. - No, yours are. 464 00:18:42,711 --> 00:18:44,535 Why are you dressed like a limo driver? 465 00:18:44,623 --> 00:18:45,947 Your mother insisted. 466 00:18:46,035 --> 00:18:48,167 Why are you both glassy eyed? 467 00:18:48,255 --> 00:18:49,474 What? 468 00:18:49,564 --> 00:18:50,659 Wow! 469 00:18:51,219 --> 00:18:53,666 So the crows are ready. You just say a few words, 470 00:18:53,754 --> 00:18:55,133 and then give Carmine the signal. 471 00:18:55,284 --> 00:18:56,887 Alexis, Mommy's home now. 472 00:18:56,975 --> 00:18:58,739 I'll take it from here. 473 00:18:58,958 --> 00:19:01,134 Ladies and gentlemen, 474 00:19:01,231 --> 00:19:03,843 it is my great pleasure to welcome you 475 00:19:03,931 --> 00:19:06,324 to a North American screening of... 476 00:19:06,466 --> 00:19:08,207 the psychological thriller... 477 00:19:08,295 --> 00:19:09,429 Move it along. 478 00:19:09,517 --> 00:19:12,955 "The Crows Have Eyes III: The Crowening!" 479 00:19:15,372 --> 00:19:17,586 Let the crowening commence! 480 00:19:18,125 --> 00:19:19,420 Oh! 481 00:19:22,307 --> 00:19:23,959 Alexis! 482 00:19:26,396 --> 00:19:27,745 - Oh ho! - No! 483 00:19:27,832 --> 00:19:30,209 Please, everyone stay calm! 484 00:19:30,297 --> 00:19:32,710 Whatever you do, do not look them in the eye! 485 00:19:32,798 --> 00:19:34,214 Okay, you're making them angrier! 486 00:19:34,302 --> 00:19:35,344 I'm not, Alexis! 487 00:19:35,432 --> 00:19:37,302 I know a bit of their language. 488 00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:38,823 CAW! 489 00:19:39,077 --> 00:19:40,775 CAW-CAW! 490 00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:45,179 This is fucked. 491 00:19:51,036 --> 00:19:54,252 The worst part is people are being robbed of the experience 492 00:19:54,340 --> 00:19:56,142 of seeing the film on the big screen. 493 00:19:56,230 --> 00:19:58,209 No, that's not the worst part, Moira. 494 00:19:58,297 --> 00:20:01,164 It's fine. There were no serious injuries, 495 00:20:01,252 --> 00:20:03,231 and, because people are watching from home, 496 00:20:03,319 --> 00:20:04,613 there'll be more views that way. 497 00:20:04,701 --> 00:20:05,993 Okay, have you seen this yet? 498 00:20:06,081 --> 00:20:09,273 Some random news station just posted video of the premiere. 499 00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:12,475 It's been shared 32,000 times. 500 00:20:12,563 --> 00:20:14,643 Well, all press is good press, right? 501 00:20:14,731 --> 00:20:16,606 You might wanna watch it first. 502 00:20:16,694 --> 00:20:19,235 Tonight, a murder of wild crows attacked 503 00:20:19,323 --> 00:20:20,326 would-be audience members 504 00:20:20,414 --> 00:20:22,899 who had come to see a movie about a crow attack. 505 00:20:22,994 --> 00:20:25,281 We must warn you, the following content is pretty graphic. 506 00:20:27,457 --> 00:20:28,632 Oh! 507 00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:30,765 Okay, they weren't "wild" crows. 508 00:20:30,916 --> 00:20:32,408 They were supposed to be trained. 509 00:20:32,778 --> 00:20:34,601 Trained! Some of them were painted seagulls. 510 00:20:34,689 --> 00:20:36,499 This is not good, Alexis! 511 00:20:36,586 --> 00:20:38,714 It sorta looks like people are running away 512 00:20:38,802 --> 00:20:40,112 from your movie, Moira. 513 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:41,773 You! Look what you have done! 514 00:20:41,861 --> 00:20:44,348 Look what I've done? This was your idea, 515 00:20:44,436 --> 00:20:46,737 and now I have to pay Ronnie for damage to her carpet! 516 00:20:46,825 --> 00:20:49,162 What were the crows even doing there in the first place? 517 00:20:49,250 --> 00:20:51,505 It's called an immersive experience, David! 518 00:20:51,593 --> 00:20:53,878 Immersed in lawsuits maybe. 519 00:20:54,914 --> 00:20:57,525 Alexis, make it stop! 520 00:20:57,652 --> 00:20:59,584 Synchronized by srjanapala