1
00:00:01,729 --> 00:00:04,401
Okay, I'm just saying,
she broke up with Ted
2
00:00:04,485 --> 00:00:06,017
less than a week ago,
and I am finding
3
00:00:06,152 --> 00:00:08,620
this whole rebound thing
to be alarmingly manic,
4
00:00:08,755 --> 00:00:09,773
and regressive.
5
00:00:09,857 --> 00:00:11,523
Well, it does sound
a little quick.
6
00:00:11,658 --> 00:00:13,308
I mean, has anybody
even met this guy?
7
00:00:13,393 --> 00:00:16,279
David, when did you become
the Grim Reaper of romance?
8
00:00:16,370 --> 00:00:17,654
Oh.
9
00:00:17,739 --> 00:00:18,804
Alexis!
10
00:00:18,889 --> 00:00:20,878
We were just having
the most stimulating
11
00:00:20,963 --> 00:00:22,872
- conversation about you...
- ...ganda!
12
00:00:23,008 --> 00:00:25,193
Ugandan... politics.
13
00:00:25,278 --> 00:00:26,426
Were you guys waiting up
for me?
14
00:00:26,510 --> 00:00:28,422
- Ah!
- N-no! - No,
15
00:00:28,644 --> 00:00:30,626
I actually didn't
know that you had left.
16
00:00:30,810 --> 00:00:32,175
I was on a date.
17
00:00:32,379 --> 00:00:34,397
Artie took me to the new
steakhouse in Elmdale,
18
00:00:34,482 --> 00:00:36,533
and it was like,
way too expensive,
19
00:00:36,618 --> 00:00:38,619
but hey,
I'm not the one paying.
20
00:00:38,704 --> 00:00:40,915
"Artie?"
21
00:00:41,488 --> 00:00:43,039
Yeah, I just thought
after like,
22
00:00:43,123 --> 00:00:44,641
the whole Ted thing,
it was healthier
23
00:00:44,725 --> 00:00:47,277
for me to just put myself
out there.
24
00:00:47,361 --> 00:00:50,547
Anyway, if you'll excuse me,
I need to get ready for bed.
25
00:00:50,631 --> 00:00:52,271
I say, bravo, Alexis.
26
00:00:52,356 --> 00:00:53,906
Fling forward!
27
00:00:56,937 --> 00:00:58,770
Ugh!
28
00:01:03,596 --> 00:01:04,759
Hi.
29
00:01:04,844 --> 00:01:07,151
Sorry, wrong room.
30
00:01:07,236 --> 00:01:09,303
Uh, I'm-I'm lookin' for Lexi.
31
00:01:09,572 --> 00:01:11,657
Hmm? Lexi?
32
00:01:11,814 --> 00:01:14,281
Uh, Alexis.
I call her Lexi.
33
00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:16,294
Well, this is where
Lexi lives.
34
00:01:16,397 --> 00:01:17,907
Um, I'm her brother, David,
35
00:01:17,992 --> 00:01:20,242
- but you can call me Davey.
- Hey, how you doin', Davey?
36
00:01:20,327 --> 00:01:22,897
Uh, Lexi left her purse
in my car.
37
00:01:22,982 --> 00:01:24,348
Oh! You're a godsend.
38
00:01:24,433 --> 00:01:26,162
I'll make sure Lexi gets it.
39
00:01:26,260 --> 00:01:28,895
I'm Johnny Rose,
I'm Alexis' father.
40
00:01:28,980 --> 00:01:30,631
Arthur Camden, but uh,
41
00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:32,478
- you can call me Artie.
- Uhhuh.
42
00:01:32,563 --> 00:01:35,116
Hello, Artie.
Moira Rose.
43
00:01:35,226 --> 00:01:36,392
Lexi's mum.
44
00:01:36,477 --> 00:01:39,664
Very cool.
Uh... anyway,
45
00:01:39,749 --> 00:01:42,001
I'm gonna shoot Lexi a text.
46
00:01:42,086 --> 00:01:43,450
Yeah, okay.
47
00:01:43,550 --> 00:01:45,650
- Take care.
- You betcha.
48
00:01:49,856 --> 00:01:52,252
Our Lexi is making
some wonderful choices.
49
00:01:53,717 --> 00:01:55,862
*SCHITT'S CREEK*
Season 06 Episode 09
50
00:01:55,986 --> 00:01:58,508
Episode Title: "Rebound"
Aired on: March 03, 2020
51
00:02:04,824 --> 00:02:07,276
Okay, so what's the total
for the floral arrangement?
52
00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:10,348
Um, I mean, it's hard
to get an exact total
53
00:02:10,433 --> 00:02:12,254
at the moment, because there
are so many variables
54
00:02:12,338 --> 00:02:13,347
still in play.
55
00:02:13,455 --> 00:02:15,655
Like you calling the florist,
and getting a quote?
56
00:02:15,740 --> 00:02:18,159
- That might be one of them.
- Okay.
57
00:02:18,345 --> 00:02:22,103
Um, Jocelyn has been smiling
and waving at me
58
00:02:22,188 --> 00:02:24,589
from across the room
in a very disturbing way.
59
00:02:24,724 --> 00:02:27,325
I meant to tell you
she approached me about uh,
60
00:02:27,460 --> 00:02:29,594
working at the Apothecary.
61
00:02:29,729 --> 00:02:31,563
Hmm.
62
00:02:32,799 --> 00:02:34,441
You did tell her "no?"
63
00:02:34,673 --> 00:02:36,576
That it probably wasn't
the best fit
64
00:02:36,661 --> 00:02:38,103
for our brand identity?
65
00:02:38,254 --> 00:02:41,209
Uh, I told her that I had
to talk to you about it.
66
00:02:41,408 --> 00:02:42,767
Look, she's coming over.
67
00:02:42,852 --> 00:02:44,036
Here she is.
68
00:02:44,121 --> 00:02:45,643
Hi, boys.
69
00:02:45,728 --> 00:02:47,272
It looked like you were
calling me over.
70
00:02:47,356 --> 00:02:48,740
Did it?
71
00:02:48,825 --> 00:02:51,777
Anywho, um... I don't know
if Patrick mentioned
72
00:02:51,862 --> 00:02:53,786
that we had talked earlier,
73
00:02:53,887 --> 00:02:56,472
and he had said that there
might be a use
74
00:02:56,638 --> 00:02:58,349
for an extra set of hands
at the store.
75
00:02:58,434 --> 00:02:59,521
Huh!
76
00:02:59,606 --> 00:03:01,825
Well, I think we're still
assessing that at this point.
77
00:03:02,028 --> 00:03:03,878
Well, you let me know when
you're done assessing.
78
00:03:03,962 --> 00:03:06,047
I'll be the mother
with the baby at home
79
00:03:06,132 --> 00:03:07,435
looking for some extra cash,
80
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,541
after I invested
in your father's business.
81
00:03:10,010 --> 00:03:11,013
I'll be over here.
82
00:03:11,173 --> 00:03:13,124
Okay, that's a lot
to unload over brunch.
83
00:03:13,209 --> 00:03:14,560
Yes!
84
00:03:14,645 --> 00:03:17,097
I spent my brunch looking
at the classifieds.
85
00:03:17,182 --> 00:03:19,574
There is an opening
for a waitress
86
00:03:19,693 --> 00:03:21,846
at Bazongas Gentlemen's Club.
87
00:03:21,980 --> 00:03:23,094
I guess I could try that.
88
00:03:23,179 --> 00:03:25,164
I'm sure we can figure
something out, Jocelyn.
89
00:03:25,249 --> 00:03:26,217
Right, David?!
90
00:03:26,302 --> 00:03:27,909
I don't know what's wrong
with Bazongas.
91
00:03:29,225 --> 00:03:32,727
But I guess a trial run
wouldn't hurt anybody.
92
00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:34,862
There ya go!
93
00:03:34,978 --> 00:03:37,760
Thanks, you guys, oh!
I'll meet you at the store.
94
00:03:37,845 --> 00:03:39,829
I'm just gonna go home
and change into something
95
00:03:39,914 --> 00:03:41,815
a little more casual.
96
00:03:42,813 --> 00:03:44,092
"More casual?"
97
00:03:44,177 --> 00:03:45,561
Well, look at it this way,
David.
98
00:03:45,646 --> 00:03:48,005
Maybe having Jocelyn on staff
will give a little extra time
99
00:03:48,090 --> 00:03:49,782
to call the florist.
100
00:03:55,469 --> 00:03:57,955
Ohh!
101
00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:00,306
Boy, young people
and their phones.
102
00:04:00,575 --> 00:04:02,088
Mm.
103
00:04:02,711 --> 00:04:06,112
Would that be David you're
having an online laugh with?
104
00:04:06,197 --> 00:04:07,748
No, it's Arthur.
105
00:04:07,875 --> 00:04:11,109
He's so funny, and he has
so many good stories.
106
00:04:11,194 --> 00:04:12,979
Well, I'm sure he does.
107
00:04:13,064 --> 00:04:14,751
When you have that many years
under your belt,
108
00:04:14,835 --> 00:04:17,146
you're bound to have collected
a good story or two.
109
00:04:17,231 --> 00:04:18,144
Yeah.
110
00:04:18,229 --> 00:04:20,714
We're going to the Elm Lake
Jazz Festival this afternoon.
111
00:04:20,841 --> 00:04:22,858
Artie loves to scat along
with the songs.
112
00:04:22,943 --> 00:04:24,637
- Ah.
- Do you know what scatting is?
113
00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:26,655
I do, not a huge fan.
114
00:04:28,998 --> 00:04:31,167
But uh, since you...
115
00:04:31,428 --> 00:04:33,094
brought up Arthur,
116
00:04:33,179 --> 00:04:36,307
Um, you know,
I-I was just thinking of...
117
00:04:36,456 --> 00:04:38,490
how some people say
you shouldn't rush
118
00:04:38,625 --> 00:04:40,336
into a new relationship,
119
00:04:40,709 --> 00:04:42,203
right after a breakup.
120
00:04:42,395 --> 00:04:45,674
Okay, trust me, it's just
totally fun and casual.
121
00:04:46,267 --> 00:04:47,582
Okay, well, casual.
122
00:04:47,667 --> 00:04:50,092
Casual is good.
Casual is uh...
123
00:04:50,355 --> 00:04:52,117
- exceptionally good.
- Yeah.
124
00:04:52,202 --> 00:04:53,535
Artie's an old soul,
125
00:04:53,620 --> 00:04:55,137
and you know how
I'm an old soul,
126
00:04:55,222 --> 00:04:58,293
so we're just like, two old
souls having fun together.
127
00:04:58,378 --> 00:05:01,151
Well, he is an old soul.
I'll give you that.
128
00:05:02,145 --> 00:05:04,346
Uh, if you were guessing,
Alexis, uh...
129
00:05:05,053 --> 00:05:07,912
how old a soul would you say
Arthur is?
130
00:05:08,088 --> 00:05:09,839
Artie doesn't care
about things like age.
131
00:05:09,923 --> 00:05:10,844
Oh.
132
00:05:10,929 --> 00:05:12,624
Although it is his birthday
next weekend,
133
00:05:12,709 --> 00:05:15,318
and we were planning a weekend
trip to wine country.
134
00:05:15,403 --> 00:05:17,336
A weekend in wine country?
135
00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:19,219
Yeah, his ex-wife owns
a vineyard,
136
00:05:19,304 --> 00:05:21,371
and his kids and grandkids
are gonna be there.
137
00:05:24,235 --> 00:05:25,407
Well, it's sounding uh,
138
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,391
less and less casual
by the minute.
139
00:05:27,626 --> 00:05:28,745
Okay, chill, Dad!
140
00:05:28,830 --> 00:05:30,380
Hmm!
141
00:05:31,667 --> 00:05:34,019
Oh my God, is he calling me
right now?!
142
00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:35,792
That is so 2001.
143
00:05:38,117 --> 00:05:39,390
Hey, babe.
144
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,426
Yep, you just double-tap
on photo with your finger.
145
00:05:45,102 --> 00:05:46,437
Okay.
146
00:05:49,154 --> 00:05:50,887
Oh! This is so exciting!
147
00:05:56,139 --> 00:05:57,339
- Alright.
- Okay!
148
00:05:57,424 --> 00:05:59,221
Now, I like to approach
the customer
149
00:05:59,306 --> 00:06:01,263
as if we don't need
their business.
150
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,091
Okay, let them wander
the store,
151
00:06:03,176 --> 00:06:04,434
experience the products.
152
00:06:04,519 --> 00:06:07,237
We're here to help
if they have a question.
153
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:09,013
- Okay.
- Excuse me?
154
00:06:09,224 --> 00:06:11,267
Do you have this
in a smaller size?
155
00:06:11,351 --> 00:06:13,061
- We don't, unfortunately.
- Oh.
156
00:06:13,146 --> 00:06:16,178
Although, speaking as someone
who uses the body milk
157
00:06:16,263 --> 00:06:17,923
on the regs,
just had a baby,
158
00:06:18,008 --> 00:06:19,876
don't wanna get stretch marks.
159
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:21,707
Trust me when I say
you're gonna wanna go
160
00:06:21,792 --> 00:06:22,738
with the larger size,
161
00:06:22,823 --> 00:06:24,375
'cause you'll go through it
faster than you think.
162
00:06:24,459 --> 00:06:26,726
Oh, actually, I'm shopping
for my daughter.
163
00:06:26,895 --> 00:06:28,413
She just had a baby as well.
164
00:06:28,498 --> 00:06:30,049
Hm, well, take a look around,
165
00:06:30,134 --> 00:06:31,647
and let us know
if you have any questions.
166
00:06:31,731 --> 00:06:34,306
I say look no further,
go with the body milk.
167
00:06:34,407 --> 00:06:37,326
She'll love it, plus it's great
for diaper rash.
168
00:06:37,441 --> 00:06:39,174
Okay! Sold.
169
00:06:39,397 --> 00:06:40,864
Thank you for your help.
170
00:06:41,617 --> 00:06:42,879
I can check you out
over here.
171
00:06:42,964 --> 00:06:44,889
Wow, my first sale!
172
00:06:45,471 --> 00:06:48,072
You guys make it look
so much harder.
173
00:06:48,805 --> 00:06:50,785
Have a "Rose-y" day!
174
00:06:52,607 --> 00:06:54,306
We won't be doing
"Rose-y day."
175
00:06:54,391 --> 00:06:55,527
- No?
- No.
176
00:06:55,612 --> 00:06:57,096
- No?
- No.
177
00:07:00,679 --> 00:07:01,947
- Ohhhhhh!
- Aaah!
178
00:07:02,032 --> 00:07:04,663
Stevie! Either a flock
of poultry has delivered
179
00:07:04,748 --> 00:07:07,133
its ova mid-flight
upon our car,
180
00:07:07,340 --> 00:07:10,657
or I've become the victim
of a vandalization!
181
00:07:10,742 --> 00:07:12,147
Oh wow.
182
00:07:12,278 --> 00:07:15,030
Um... you sure it's for you,
Mrs. Rose?
183
00:07:15,115 --> 00:07:16,201
Because that's a family car,
184
00:07:16,285 --> 00:07:18,704
and I can think of a handful of
people who'd wanna egg David.
185
00:07:18,789 --> 00:07:21,474
You're sweet, dear,
but I know of what I speak.
186
00:07:21,737 --> 00:07:23,938
Stevie, you are blessed
with anonymity,
187
00:07:24,048 --> 00:07:26,200
and thus will never have
to know the crippling fear
188
00:07:26,293 --> 00:07:28,546
that accompanies global repute.
189
00:07:28,684 --> 00:07:30,750
Yeah, I can't imagine.
190
00:07:31,831 --> 00:07:34,683
After my first centerfold
with Soap Opera Digest,
191
00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:38,002
a deranged fan deposited
locks of hair
192
00:07:38,104 --> 00:07:40,217
into my glove compartment.
193
00:07:40,302 --> 00:07:42,453
And now my return to prominence
194
00:07:42,538 --> 00:07:44,740
has painted another
giant bullseye
195
00:07:44,825 --> 00:07:46,715
on my thorax!
196
00:07:47,180 --> 00:07:49,736
Um, I could give you
this bucket of soap.
197
00:07:49,821 --> 00:07:52,967
No! You never tamper
with a crime scene.
198
00:07:53,231 --> 00:07:55,298
I'll have to go to council.
199
00:07:55,383 --> 00:07:56,504
Get in please, Stevie.
200
00:07:56,589 --> 00:07:58,386
As of now,
you are my star witness.
201
00:07:58,471 --> 00:08:01,523
And sit low, no point
endangering both our lives.
202
00:08:01,733 --> 00:08:02,820
Fine.
203
00:08:03,046 --> 00:08:04,499
We're here for brunch,
right,
204
00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:06,282
and she looks at me and says,
you mean, lunner?
205
00:08:08,860 --> 00:08:11,112
I asked her for a bunch menu,
206
00:08:11,197 --> 00:08:13,094
and she puts thing,
says it's a lunner menu.
207
00:08:13,185 --> 00:08:14,218
- No!
- Lunner!
208
00:08:14,340 --> 00:08:15,953
Alexis, Arthur.
209
00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:19,186
I thought you two were going
to a jazz festival?
210
00:08:19,271 --> 00:08:21,596
Oh we were, we just like,
popped in for a bite to eat,
211
00:08:21,681 --> 00:08:23,922
because Artie's blood sugar
is low.
212
00:08:24,007 --> 00:08:26,347
Well, I guess there's enough
sugar in mimosas, huh?
213
00:08:26,432 --> 00:08:29,628
Oh, don't worry,
I'm over 21, Dad.
214
00:08:29,713 --> 00:08:31,965
Oh my God, I'm laughing
my head off.
215
00:08:32,050 --> 00:08:33,997
Well, I'm just gonna grab
some lunch.
216
00:08:34,210 --> 00:08:36,570
Um, nice running into you
again, Arthur.
217
00:08:36,655 --> 00:08:39,327
Please, Dad,
just call me Artie.
218
00:08:39,412 --> 00:08:41,042
Oh.
219
00:08:41,127 --> 00:08:44,086
Well, please don't call me
"Dad."
220
00:08:49,071 --> 00:08:51,403
Could I get a coffee,
Twyla, please?
221
00:08:54,529 --> 00:08:57,473
So I see Alexis is getting
back out there.
222
00:08:57,583 --> 00:09:00,369
Has she told you anything
about this guy?
223
00:09:00,453 --> 00:09:03,368
No, but I think he dated
my aunt.
224
00:09:03,495 --> 00:09:05,197
I don't know,
I was a baby at the time,
225
00:09:05,282 --> 00:09:07,476
but there's a photo of him
holding me at Christmas.
226
00:09:07,561 --> 00:09:08,580
And I remember that,
227
00:09:08,665 --> 00:09:10,745
because that was the year
Santa brought me a lighter.
228
00:09:11,781 --> 00:09:13,815
Okay, I'll be right back.
229
00:09:15,135 --> 00:09:16,601
Stay right there.
230
00:09:17,548 --> 00:09:19,715
Excuse me, Twyla.
231
00:09:20,286 --> 00:09:21,871
Arthur, hi,
232
00:09:21,956 --> 00:09:23,656
do you mind if I uh,
join you for a minute?
233
00:09:23,824 --> 00:09:25,457
No, of course.
234
00:09:25,711 --> 00:09:29,414
Always room at the table
for Lexi's... old man.
235
00:09:29,549 --> 00:09:31,467
That's a smidge worse
than "Dad."
236
00:09:32,859 --> 00:09:34,744
Uh, what do you do
for a living?
237
00:09:35,186 --> 00:09:36,753
Well, actually,
238
00:09:36,879 --> 00:09:38,461
I am retired.
239
00:09:38,546 --> 00:09:41,109
Yeah, but I used to own um,
240
00:09:41,194 --> 00:09:42,405
a chain of trailer parks.
241
00:09:42,490 --> 00:09:45,255
But don't-don't worry, I don't
you know, live in a trailer.
242
00:09:45,665 --> 00:09:49,185
I own a beautiful
three-bedroom home
243
00:09:49,269 --> 00:09:50,968
with an above ground pool,
244
00:09:51,104 --> 00:09:52,114
if that's what
you're worried about.
245
00:09:52,198 --> 00:09:54,856
No, that wasn't my primary
concern, Arthur.
246
00:09:54,941 --> 00:09:55,506
Oh.
247
00:09:55,591 --> 00:09:57,307
No, the thing is,
as a parent,
248
00:09:57,442 --> 00:10:00,928
I can't help but notice there's
a bit of an age discrepancy.
249
00:10:01,028 --> 00:10:04,096
Oh! No, no, we're totally
chill with that.
250
00:10:04,517 --> 00:10:06,016
I mean, Lexi's a great girl.
251
00:10:06,289 --> 00:10:07,640
Yes, she is.
252
00:10:07,747 --> 00:10:09,046
Yes, she is.
253
00:10:09,205 --> 00:10:11,006
But um, Arthur,
254
00:10:11,141 --> 00:10:13,693
my daughter is in a bit of a...
255
00:10:14,476 --> 00:10:16,105
vulnerable space right now.
256
00:10:16,190 --> 00:10:19,569
She just got out of a rather
serious relationship,
257
00:10:19,847 --> 00:10:21,117
a week ago,
258
00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:23,901
and she was engaged
to him twice.
259
00:10:24,598 --> 00:10:26,949
I'm not entirely sure
what she's doing,
260
00:10:27,034 --> 00:10:29,086
but uh, you might wanna...
261
00:10:29,914 --> 00:10:31,326
tread lightly.
262
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:34,441
Oh... understood.
263
00:10:35,728 --> 00:10:37,882
Yeah. Thanks for the heads up.
264
00:10:38,476 --> 00:10:39,963
Okay.
265
00:10:40,577 --> 00:10:41,943
Uh, Johnny, I...
266
00:10:42,028 --> 00:10:44,699
I know it isn't always easy
being a dad.
267
00:10:45,142 --> 00:10:47,075
And being a grandad's
even harder.
268
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:50,279
Oh, well, maybe you might
wanna give me some tips
269
00:10:50,364 --> 00:10:52,216
when I eventually get there.
270
00:10:58,181 --> 00:11:01,000
Alright, now you tell
me how we're gonna fix this.
271
00:11:01,315 --> 00:11:03,215
Hello, council people!
272
00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:05,034
Why, you ask, are we here,
273
00:11:05,119 --> 00:11:07,086
trembling before you?
274
00:11:08,534 --> 00:11:10,285
Well, I'll answer
your question.
275
00:11:10,535 --> 00:11:12,302
I was assailed this morning.
276
00:11:12,387 --> 00:11:14,254
- Is that a fact?
- Stone cold.
277
00:11:14,339 --> 00:11:16,924
Stevie was there. Stevie,
describe the carnage.
278
00:11:17,323 --> 00:11:19,942
Um, well, there were a couple
of broken eggs
279
00:11:20,026 --> 00:11:21,357
on Mrs. Rose's car,
280
00:11:21,442 --> 00:11:23,393
and one on the back windshield.
281
00:11:23,478 --> 00:11:25,489
- It was shattered!
- The windshield?
282
00:11:25,574 --> 00:11:27,897
The egg! That's the bestial
level of attack
283
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,549
with which we are dealing.
284
00:11:29,634 --> 00:11:30,756
Right, Stevie?
285
00:11:30,841 --> 00:11:32,322
I don't know, you tell me.
286
00:11:32,711 --> 00:11:34,862
Well, you know, after
this little interview
287
00:11:34,947 --> 00:11:36,480
in People Magazine,
288
00:11:36,565 --> 00:11:40,152
I'm surprised those eggs
weren't actually thrown at you.
289
00:11:40,237 --> 00:11:43,305
Has it hit the stands?
My publicist is off today.
290
00:11:43,390 --> 00:11:44,474
It sure has.
291
00:11:44,609 --> 00:11:46,442
You describe the town as,
and I quote,
292
00:11:46,545 --> 00:11:49,131
"the last place you'd ever
wanna end up."
293
00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:51,407
Oh no, I described the town
as the last place
294
00:11:51,492 --> 00:11:52,939
I'd ever want to end up.
295
00:11:53,024 --> 00:11:54,875
Um, since I'm no longer
the star witness
296
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,746
in this criminal case,
can I get back to work?
297
00:11:56,830 --> 00:12:00,149
No, you see here,
I'm exaggerating for effect.
298
00:12:00,337 --> 00:12:02,340
And I made sure to never
mention the name
299
00:12:02,425 --> 00:12:03,529
of your precious borough.
300
00:12:03,614 --> 00:12:05,269
I'm gonna take that
as a "yes."
301
00:12:05,354 --> 00:12:07,144
It wasn't hard
to figure out, Moira,
302
00:12:07,229 --> 00:12:09,368
somebody posted it
on the town message board,
303
00:12:09,453 --> 00:12:11,426
and now tempers
are running hot.
304
00:12:11,511 --> 00:12:14,222
Yeah, Bob was so upset
he had to go home.
305
00:12:14,307 --> 00:12:16,489
You know, Moira,
this bad press
306
00:12:16,574 --> 00:12:18,195
could not have come
at a worse time.
307
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,154
We were just about to launch
a huge tourism campaign,
308
00:12:21,239 --> 00:12:22,255
and now thanks to you,
309
00:12:22,340 --> 00:12:24,238
this could be the biggest
scandal since we installed
310
00:12:24,322 --> 00:12:26,173
the church wheelchair ramp
backwards.
311
00:12:26,258 --> 00:12:27,833
Roland, something
has to be done!
312
00:12:27,918 --> 00:12:29,469
It's a simple miscommunication.
313
00:12:29,554 --> 00:12:32,323
Do you want Stevie
to be cleaning eggs off my car
314
00:12:32,408 --> 00:12:33,521
every morning?!
315
00:12:33,606 --> 00:12:36,444
Moira, you're gonna have
to clean up this mess yourself,
316
00:12:36,636 --> 00:12:38,821
Okay? We're spending a lot
of money on this campaign,
317
00:12:38,905 --> 00:12:41,405
and we can't afford
another "ramp-gate."
318
00:12:51,793 --> 00:12:53,927
Why'd you do it?!
319
00:12:54,012 --> 00:12:55,337
- Why'd you do it?!
- Ooh,
320
00:12:55,422 --> 00:12:57,199
I think they're here
for you, Moira!
321
00:12:57,284 --> 00:13:00,163
Hey uh, folks, I can't quite
read those signs,
322
00:13:00,248 --> 00:13:02,902
do you mind holding them up
a little higher for me, there?
323
00:13:02,987 --> 00:13:04,712
Oh yeah, thanks.
324
00:13:04,797 --> 00:13:07,873
You know what's often more
potent than an apology,
325
00:13:07,958 --> 00:13:09,658
is an explanation.
326
00:13:10,002 --> 00:13:12,183
You know, I may have said
this town is the last place
327
00:13:12,268 --> 00:13:13,644
I wish to find myself,
328
00:13:13,729 --> 00:13:18,196
but the magazine neglected
to include my entire quote.
329
00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:21,697
I specifically commended
your ever-beating heart,
330
00:13:21,781 --> 00:13:23,966
and your elephantine
generosity.
331
00:13:24,050 --> 00:13:27,818
"A slice of heaven," is what
I recall myself saying!
332
00:13:28,712 --> 00:13:31,451
Please know that I believe,
deep down,
333
00:13:31,536 --> 00:13:33,988
there are
worse places to be.
334
00:13:34,073 --> 00:13:36,125
Like in your shoes right now.
335
00:13:36,296 --> 00:13:38,122
Would a quick meet and greet
help?
336
00:13:38,207 --> 00:13:40,877
I do have a few headshots
in the boot of my car.
337
00:13:40,962 --> 00:13:42,747
No, I don't think you need
more people knowing
338
00:13:42,831 --> 00:13:45,128
which car is yours, Moira,
but I do have an idea
339
00:13:45,213 --> 00:13:47,702
that I think will solve
all our problems.
340
00:13:47,806 --> 00:13:49,841
Okay, but can we discuss it
over lunch?
341
00:13:49,926 --> 00:13:51,444
I pre-ordered a tuna sandwich,
342
00:13:51,529 --> 00:13:53,202
and those things can turn
on a dime.
343
00:13:53,287 --> 00:13:55,251
Oh, allow me to leave you
with this.
344
00:13:55,336 --> 00:13:58,674
I solemnly vow to make right
by all of you.
345
00:13:58,983 --> 00:14:01,237
As soon as one of you details
my car.
346
00:14:03,156 --> 00:14:04,540
Receipt in the bag?
347
00:14:04,624 --> 00:14:06,150
There you go, bye.
348
00:14:06,769 --> 00:14:08,819
I don't wanna rub salt
in the wound here, David,
349
00:14:08,904 --> 00:14:11,322
but Jocelyn is kinda
crushing it.
350
00:14:11,407 --> 00:14:14,551
Okay, I have also had a very
active day on the sales floor.
351
00:14:14,636 --> 00:14:16,663
David, she has sold
more in one day
352
00:14:16,748 --> 00:14:18,053
than we have all week.
353
00:14:18,137 --> 00:14:19,588
And you've spent the better
part of the afternoon
354
00:14:19,672 --> 00:14:21,445
standing in the corner
giving her cut-eye.
355
00:14:21,530 --> 00:14:24,058
I'm mentoring her,
and monitoring her progress.
356
00:14:24,178 --> 00:14:26,111
And frankly, it's not moving
as fast as I'd like.
357
00:14:26,196 --> 00:14:28,621
Why can't you just admit
that she is an asset?
358
00:14:28,706 --> 00:14:30,164
It's probably beginner's
luck,
359
00:14:30,249 --> 00:14:32,172
like when you walk into
a casino and win big
360
00:14:32,257 --> 00:14:34,175
on your first pull of the
"Basic Instinct" slot machine.
361
00:14:34,259 --> 00:14:36,011
Okay, I'm beginning to think
that that is the high point
362
00:14:36,095 --> 00:14:37,702
- of your entire life.
- All I'm saying is,
363
00:14:37,786 --> 00:14:39,609
I don't necessarily trust
the numbers.
364
00:14:39,694 --> 00:14:40,457
Oh.
365
00:14:40,542 --> 00:14:42,594
I had an ex in San Francisco
who was a real estate agent,
366
00:14:42,678 --> 00:14:44,797
and basically made all
of our friends buy penthouses
367
00:14:44,909 --> 00:14:46,594
just to make it look like
he was doing well.
368
00:14:46,678 --> 00:14:49,640
For all we know, these could
just be Jocelyn's friends.
369
00:14:49,836 --> 00:14:52,687
Well, friends or not,
that's still a sale.
370
00:14:52,772 --> 00:14:54,338
Yeah, but is that what
we're really about?
371
00:14:54,422 --> 00:14:56,774
Like, just selling products?
372
00:14:56,882 --> 00:14:59,260
Yep, that is literally
the purpose of our store.
373
00:14:59,345 --> 00:15:01,330
Look, I didn't expect this
from Jocelyn either,
374
00:15:01,414 --> 00:15:03,399
but clearly, she has
a connection to the people
375
00:15:03,483 --> 00:15:06,097
of this community,
and I say we make the most of it.
376
00:15:06,182 --> 00:15:08,270
Okay, so what,
you want to offer her a job?
377
00:15:08,502 --> 00:15:11,198
Well, I think the offer would
mean more coming from you.
378
00:15:11,283 --> 00:15:14,350
Another sale, boys!
379
00:15:14,628 --> 00:15:16,113
Where'd she get that bell?
380
00:15:16,205 --> 00:15:17,839
She brought it from home.
381
00:15:30,117 --> 00:15:31,279
Ugh!
382
00:15:34,046 --> 00:15:36,690
Hi honey, everything okay?
383
00:15:36,797 --> 00:15:38,160
Yeah, everything is great.
384
00:15:38,245 --> 00:15:40,797
My life is going like, really,
really great right now!
385
00:15:40,993 --> 00:15:43,412
Oh, well, that's uh,
that's good.
386
00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:45,287
Here's a fun thing,
I just got dumped
387
00:15:45,372 --> 00:15:48,004
by a man who wears three
medic-alert bracelets.
388
00:15:48,131 --> 00:15:49,236
Really?
389
00:15:49,321 --> 00:15:51,850
He just said out of nowhere
that he needs to end things.
390
00:15:52,031 --> 00:15:54,320
Oh, well, that
that does seem abrupt.
391
00:15:54,908 --> 00:15:56,508
Wow, well...
392
00:15:56,746 --> 00:15:59,026
maybe-maybe that's just further
confirmation
393
00:15:59,111 --> 00:16:00,621
that you know, he...
394
00:16:00,706 --> 00:16:03,423
he wasn't... he wasn't
the right person for you?
395
00:16:03,508 --> 00:16:05,356
I know he's not the right
person for me.
396
00:16:05,444 --> 00:16:07,424
His taste in makeout music,
for example,
397
00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:08,653
like, so weird.
398
00:16:08,738 --> 00:16:10,815
Like, who even is Cat Stevens?!
399
00:16:11,665 --> 00:16:14,813
Well, Cat wrote some
wonderful songs, honey.
400
00:16:14,898 --> 00:16:16,622
I'm just looking for like,
any distraction
401
00:16:16,707 --> 00:16:18,347
from the fact that my heart's
shattered
402
00:16:18,432 --> 00:16:19,784
into a million pieces.
403
00:16:19,869 --> 00:16:21,754
Like, I don't even know
what I'm doing anymore.
404
00:16:21,901 --> 00:16:24,386
I'm getting broken up
with by gross old men!
405
00:16:24,865 --> 00:16:26,183
Oh, honey, no,
406
00:16:26,268 --> 00:16:28,386
he-he-he wasn't that gross.
407
00:16:28,802 --> 00:16:31,733
No, I mean, he-he seemed...
nice.
408
00:16:31,838 --> 00:16:33,369
He was responsible.
409
00:16:33,454 --> 00:16:36,524
He did run a successful
mobile-home business.
410
00:16:37,908 --> 00:16:39,431
How did you know about that?
411
00:16:39,580 --> 00:16:41,431
- What?
- How did you know that?
412
00:16:41,516 --> 00:16:43,467
I-uh, where did I hear that?
413
00:16:43,552 --> 00:16:44,870
You talked to him!
414
00:16:45,055 --> 00:16:47,173
Well, I-I just for...
I did talk to him.
415
00:16:47,281 --> 00:16:49,778
Brief conversation,
but just in passing.
416
00:16:49,863 --> 00:16:50,833
Why would you do that?
417
00:16:50,918 --> 00:16:52,868
I told you that I was
in control of the situation.
418
00:16:52,952 --> 00:16:55,632
Well, honey, I don't know
whether you were.
419
00:16:56,696 --> 00:16:59,508
I was just trying to... help.
420
00:17:00,598 --> 00:17:03,123
Alexis, in the past, I...
421
00:17:03,669 --> 00:17:06,643
I couldn't always be there
for you when you were...
422
00:17:07,230 --> 00:17:08,931
when you were dealing with...
423
00:17:10,037 --> 00:17:11,417
heartbreak.
424
00:17:12,367 --> 00:17:14,700
I wasn't there to protect you.
425
00:17:14,806 --> 00:17:16,788
And I guess I was just being...
426
00:17:17,543 --> 00:17:19,717
a bit overzealous, and...
427
00:17:20,753 --> 00:17:22,691
trying to make up
for lost time.
428
00:17:23,597 --> 00:17:24,837
Well, if you really
wanna know,
429
00:17:24,922 --> 00:17:27,442
I dated guys like, a whole
lot worse than Artie.
430
00:17:28,139 --> 00:17:29,977
Where were you when I was
dating half the cast
431
00:17:30,062 --> 00:17:30,924
of "White Squall?"
432
00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:33,328
Well, I don't really want
to know.
433
00:17:34,139 --> 00:17:35,805
What am I gonna do now?
434
00:17:40,607 --> 00:17:41,926
Okay.
435
00:17:42,333 --> 00:17:43,428
Okay.
436
00:17:44,361 --> 00:17:46,512
Yeah, cry for a bit.
437
00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:51,495
I wonder when David'll be
home.
438
00:17:53,254 --> 00:17:55,528
And, we're closed!
439
00:17:55,613 --> 00:17:57,745
Oh! It's not the stock
market, Jocelyn,
440
00:17:57,830 --> 00:17:59,135
but yes, the day is done.
441
00:17:59,220 --> 00:18:00,537
Is it always this busy?
442
00:18:00,622 --> 00:18:02,416
I mean, I feel like when
I've been here before,
443
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:04,020
- it's just been me.
- Hmm!
444
00:18:04,105 --> 00:18:05,465
Well, today was a great day
for us.
445
00:18:05,788 --> 00:18:07,388
And with that in mind, um...
446
00:18:07,594 --> 00:18:09,746
David has something that
he would like to say.
447
00:18:10,203 --> 00:18:11,418
Two things, actually.
448
00:18:11,503 --> 00:18:12,800
Um, first thing,
449
00:18:12,885 --> 00:18:15,003
thought we discussed shelving
"have a Rose-y day."
450
00:18:15,088 --> 00:18:16,884
- Ah, people seem to enjoy it.
- Yeah.
451
00:18:17,009 --> 00:18:18,827
And two...
452
00:18:19,070 --> 00:18:22,456
Patrick and I would like
to officially welcome you
453
00:18:22,541 --> 00:18:23,764
to the sales staff
454
00:18:23,849 --> 00:18:25,703
here at Rose Apothecary.
455
00:18:25,788 --> 00:18:28,666
Oh my gosh!
That is so sweet!
456
00:18:28,751 --> 00:18:30,336
You're welcome.
457
00:18:30,428 --> 00:18:32,845
But I just don't think
it's for me.
458
00:18:33,183 --> 00:18:36,177
- Mmm!
- It's not for you?
459
00:18:36,262 --> 00:18:38,442
Yeah, I mean,
as David would say,
460
00:18:38,527 --> 00:18:40,815
I just don't think
it's in my brand.
461
00:18:40,899 --> 00:18:42,985
I don't think
I've ever said that.
462
00:18:43,069 --> 00:18:44,818
It's just not for me.
463
00:18:44,903 --> 00:18:46,391
Huh.
464
00:18:46,574 --> 00:18:48,854
So this store is just
not for you.
465
00:18:48,939 --> 00:18:50,657
Yeah. I'd rather take
my chances, you know,
466
00:18:50,742 --> 00:18:52,594
see if some tutoring gigs
come up.
467
00:18:52,679 --> 00:18:54,330
- Tutoring?
- Because that's a...
468
00:18:54,666 --> 00:18:56,433
a better job than
working here?
469
00:18:56,638 --> 00:18:59,596
Well, I find teaching
students very fulfilling.
470
00:18:59,850 --> 00:19:02,537
You know, not what you two do
here isn't fulfilling,
471
00:19:02,622 --> 00:19:05,140
you know, for you, but
it's just not fulfilling...
472
00:19:05,225 --> 00:19:06,469
- For you. Got it.
- For her.
473
00:19:06,554 --> 00:19:09,755
Yeah, well hey, what...
whatever you wanna do.
474
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:11,926
Thank you for the opportunity.
475
00:19:12,618 --> 00:19:14,863
And you guys can keep the bell.
476
00:19:14,948 --> 00:19:16,344
Oh! The bell!
477
00:19:16,717 --> 00:19:18,450
'Cause you might need it
a little more than me.
478
00:19:21,938 --> 00:19:24,154
I'll come by tomorrow
to pick up my paycheque.
479
00:19:24,276 --> 00:19:25,994
Okay! Yeah...
480
00:19:26,078 --> 00:19:28,178
she does know this
is a training session, right?
481
00:19:29,030 --> 00:19:30,998
What does that even mean,
"not for her?"
482
00:19:31,083 --> 00:19:32,425
Well, um...
483
00:19:32,510 --> 00:19:35,129
I think it means our store...
484
00:19:35,321 --> 00:19:37,654
- It's just not for her?
- It's just not for her.
485
00:19:37,836 --> 00:19:40,528
- I got it. Thank you.
- I think that's what it means.
486
00:19:49,163 --> 00:19:50,562
Oh, hello, you.
487
00:19:50,647 --> 00:19:53,486
I'm film and television's
Moira Rose.
488
00:19:53,571 --> 00:19:56,123
Won't you join me
for a little stroll
489
00:19:56,208 --> 00:19:58,260
through the slice of paradise
490
00:19:58,345 --> 00:19:59,874
I like to call...
491
00:19:59,959 --> 00:20:02,244
the town where I currently am.
492
00:20:04,460 --> 00:20:06,712
Did someone say fine dining?
493
00:20:07,067 --> 00:20:10,384
The Café Tropical has certainly
been described
494
00:20:10,469 --> 00:20:12,220
as "fine."
495
00:20:12,334 --> 00:20:13,718
Oh, hello, Twyla.
496
00:20:13,803 --> 00:20:16,766
I'll have the Miso Black Cod,
please.
497
00:20:16,875 --> 00:20:18,698
We don't have that.
498
00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:21,477
You mean, you're sold out,
is more like it!
499
00:20:24,555 --> 00:20:26,340
And when it's time to escape
500
00:20:26,425 --> 00:20:29,257
the hustle and bustle
of the downtown core,
501
00:20:29,342 --> 00:20:32,977
you'll find all the peace
and solitude your body craves
502
00:20:33,062 --> 00:20:35,452
here at our local apothecary.
503
00:20:35,614 --> 00:20:39,468
No noisy customers or busy
cash registers here,
504
00:20:39,552 --> 00:20:42,938
to intrude upon your inner
cogitations.
505
00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:44,409
It's-it's not usually
this quiet.
506
00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:46,960
Oh, it's always nice
and quiet here.
507
00:20:47,409 --> 00:20:48,959
Can you stop saying that?
508
00:20:49,220 --> 00:20:53,387
And finally, when it's time
to lay down your weary head,
509
00:20:53,472 --> 00:20:55,651
you'll find comfort and safety
510
00:20:55,784 --> 00:20:58,805
at the partially renovated
Rosebud Motel.
511
00:20:58,963 --> 00:21:00,508
And don't forget to say hello
512
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,491
to your handsome proprietor,
513
00:21:02,714 --> 00:21:04,174
Mr. Johnathon Rose.
514
00:21:04,309 --> 00:21:06,956
- Thank you for having us.
- John, no.
515
00:21:07,815 --> 00:21:09,205
So why wait?
516
00:21:09,290 --> 00:21:12,843
Book your vacation now
to this humble little oasis.
517
00:21:12,952 --> 00:21:14,636
If heaven had a creek,
518
00:21:14,885 --> 00:21:16,538
it would be this one.
519
00:21:16,777 --> 00:21:19,389
Sync corrections by srjanapala