1
00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:13,502
You slept with your best friend!
2
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,911
This will be a disaster
unless you say the right thing,
3
00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:19,133
so choose your words carefully.
4
00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:21,301
Great job last night, buddy.
5
00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:29,977
Good thing you came along.
I've been on four since med school.
6
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:34,117
Damn it.
7
00:00:39,497 --> 00:00:42,170
We shouldn't feel weird about this.
8
00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:45,447
- Things like this happen all the time.
- All the time!
9
00:00:45,670 --> 00:00:47,820
- It's not a big deal.
- it's not a big deal.
10
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:50,566
Stop repeating
what I say in that weird tone.
11
00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:55,708
- No more repeating.
- What happened last night was
12
00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:58,005
a wonderful mistake.
13
00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:02,859
And it's probably best
if we just go back to the way things were.
14
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,535
I totally agree.
15
00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:10,912
I'm gonna see you tomorrow.
16
00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:13,148
Tomorrow.
17
00:01:13,698 --> 00:01:16,735
Elliot's amazing
and you're crazy about her.
18
00:01:16,951 --> 00:01:19,511
If you let her leave,
I'm gonna do this all day:
19
00:01:19,704 --> 00:01:23,663
I get knocked down but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
20
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,270
I get knocked down...
21
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:27,727
Wait, Elliot...
22
00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:32,679
I just...
23
00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:38,105
Just say it.
Say, ''Elliot, stay in bed
24
00:01:38,306 --> 00:01:41,264
and have sex with me
until neither of us can move.''
25
00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:44,149
Let's do that.
26
00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:47,232
I cannot believe
you almost let me leave.
27
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:51,573
You're gonna pay for that.
28
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:54,008
I'm good for that.
29
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,674
I got to...
30
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:05,074
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
31
00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:20,144
We are really good at having sex.
We should take this show on the road.
32
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,585
My mom would sit in the front row
33
00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:25,600
and tell me I'd look prettier
if I smiled more.
34
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:28,565
You don't really smile.
You just make this face.
35
00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:33,130
You looked surprised that
you were actually having sex.
36
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:36,076
I was. I mean, four times?
37
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:38,272
Give it up.
38
00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:42,238
- I think I already did.
- You did.
39
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:44,611
How weird was that this morning?
40
00:02:44,789 --> 00:02:48,543
Have you ever been more
uncomfortable in your entire life?
41
00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:50,784
You look hot in that dress.
42
00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:52,953
What movie are we watching?
43
00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:55,770
It's Basic Instinct, Grandma.
44
00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:58,640
Yeah, once.
But all this sex?
45
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:01,279
It just soothes my soul.
46
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:04,597
And I really like your nose.
47
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:06,838
How did that last time even start?
48
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,170
I just know I went to the door
49
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:12,871
and when I came back, you said
I looked sexy holding a pizza.
50
00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:16,101
You did.
51
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,188
For safety reasons, I should go.
52
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:21,596
You're not going anywhere.
53
00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:24,822
You gotta help me eat this pizza.
54
00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:30,998
Good.
55
00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:34,684
See now, you even look sexy
holding that slice.
56
00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:37,801
- I do, don't I?
- You do.
57
00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:47,007
I was not. You were.
58
00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:50,969
Sometimes I like
a little sugar in my coffee.
59
00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:55,182
I just think it's best
if we keep this between us for now.
60
00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:58,037
It's hard enough
without everybody talking.
61
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:02,117
But it'll help people.
Like those two, for instance.
62
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:06,440
They've been dancing around
each other for months now.
63
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:12,772
I'm not afraid
to show people here how I feel about you.
64
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:16,359
You just want the guys
to know you're getting some.
65
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,580
Not just the guys.
66
00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:20,669
Good morning, Dr Cox!
67
00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:22,880
We are short-staffed today
68
00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:26,251
because Kelso has volunteered
all of you scut monkeys
69
00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:28,908
for some psychologist's research project,
70
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:32,219
which means
you won't be helping patients.
71
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:35,431
Instead, you'll be
blabbering about your feelings,
72
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:38,039
and what it's like
working in the hospital,
73
00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:41,865
and how that affects
your personal lives and...
74
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:46,074
And there he is now,
big Bob-o himself.
75
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:50,306
All nurses and interns,
let's gather round
76
00:04:50,498 --> 00:04:52,534
and dance for the puppet master.
77
00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:54,594
Dance!
78
00:04:54,753 --> 00:04:57,870
It's not just the nurses and interns.
79
00:04:58,089 --> 00:05:00,523
Don't be that guy, Bob.
80
00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:03,564
I guess I became a doctor because
81
00:05:03,762 --> 00:05:07,152
ever since I was a little boy,
I just wanted to help people.
82
00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:09,950
I don't tell this story very often,
83
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,657
but I remember
when I was seven years old,
84
00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:15,687
I found a bird
that had fallen out of its nest.
85
00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:18,288
So, I picked him up
and I brought him home,
86
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:21,602
and I made him a house
out of an empty shoebox, and...
87
00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:24,130
My God!
88
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,629
I became a doctor for the same
four reasons everybody does:
89
00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:32,101
Chicks, money, power and chicks.
90
00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:35,168
But since HMOs have
made it virtually impossible
91
00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:38,574
to make any real money,
which affects the number of chicks
92
00:05:38,797 --> 00:05:42,426
who come sniffing around, and don't
ask what tree they're barking up,
93
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:46,555
cos they're sure not pissing on mine.
And as far as power goes, well...
94
00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:50,081
Here I am during my free time
letting some 13-year-old
95
00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:54,824
psychology fellow ask me questions
about my personal life.
96
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:58,336
So here's the inside scoop.
97
00:05:58,566 --> 00:06:02,036
Why don't you go ahead
and tell me all about power?
98
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,187
Check her out.
99
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,799
- Dude, HFFA.
- Excuse me?
100
00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:12,110
HFFA? ''Hot from far away''
but up close she's nasty.
101
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:15,250
That is so messed up.
102
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:22,417
I am sorry I made an insensitive
statement about an ugly person.
103
00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:24,585
I'm taking one of those moments
104
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:28,069
where I weigh your good qualities
against your bad ones
105
00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:31,421
and decide
if you're actually worth the trouble.
106
00:06:32,308 --> 00:06:35,186
You made it. That was close.
107
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,909
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
108
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:40,574
Elliot's looking for a surgical consult.
109
00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:44,609
- Do you know where she is?
- Why should I know?
110
00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:49,414
I know where the Todd
would like Elliot to be. In his pants.
111
00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:51,054
Clever.
112
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:54,751
She's not going out with anyone.
You should ask her out.
113
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:57,637
Elliot and the Todd?
That's a terrible couple.
114
00:06:57,834 --> 00:07:01,224
- Worse than Joanie and Chachi.
- Joanie loves Chachi.
115
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,294
The Todd is asking Elliot out.
116
00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:06,343
- I think she'd be lucky to ride my...
- Please.
117
00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:08,030
...motorcycle.
118
00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:09,896
Gotcha.
119
00:07:11,723 --> 00:07:13,520
God bless him.
120
00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:18,469
When I was seven,
the only things that I loved
121
00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:21,441
were my ColecoVision...
and Sandy Lowe.
122
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:24,402
Sandy was as fine
as a 7-year-old could be.
123
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:27,330
She had the body of a 9-year-old.
124
00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:30,837
I joined the T-ball team
because she was on it.
125
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:33,707
I didn't care that much about sports.
126
00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:37,621
But, during the first game,
I got all caught up,
127
00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:40,183
and fell in love with competing.
128
00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:42,732
And so, through
high school and college,
129
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:46,516
I pretty much played everything
because I needed to compete.
130
00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:48,749
It was my drug.
131
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:55,422
That's why I became a surgeon. Every day,
you get to step up to the table
132
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:58,842
and go one-on-one against
what's wrong with the patient.
133
00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:01,292
And if you're really good at it,
134
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:04,556
you win most of the time.
135
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,754
I ran into Sandy Lowe last Christmas,
136
00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:11,825
and she didn't look so good.
137
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:15,142
And that was kind of awkward, cos,
138
00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:18,024
well, I look like this.
139
00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:30,616
Are you following me?
140
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:33,111
No. You wanna go out some time?
141
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:34,657
With you?
142
00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:38,276
Me and a bottle of Jagermeister.
143
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:41,351
No, Todd, I don't.
But I don't want you to think
144
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:43,838
it's because I'm a lesbian or anything.
145
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:49,860
I find you so creepy, I think you should
walk around with a bell around your neck.
146
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,346
All I heard was ''lesbian''.
147
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:55,251
Let me talk to her for you.
148
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:58,458
Why did he ask me out?
149
00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:01,852
I don't know.
Because you're cute and you're fun,
150
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:06,838
and I told him to. Plus, there's rumours
going around that you're a lesbian.
151
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:12,204
You told me not to tell anyone about us,
so maybe I just wanna make a point.
152
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:15,741
And now I'm gonna kiss you.
153
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:26,082
It's cool. JD's in the closet
talking to a girl for me.
154
00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:28,747
White boys.
155
00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:30,501
You too.
156
00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:27,609
When I was little, my mom used to
have what she called ''episodes''.
157
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:33,076
''Episodes'' is a flattering term
for this thing where she'd sweat a lot and...
158
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:36,932
Let's just say her stomach talked.
159
00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:40,215
Anyway, this one time,
we were at the supermarket
160
00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:42,070
and she actually passed out.
161
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:45,501
And out of nowhere,
this fancy-looking guy comes forward
162
00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:50,120
and tells everyone to step aside
and give my mother some air.
163
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,391
And everyone did.
164
00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:58,113
You have to understand, in my family,
nobody listens to a word anyone else says.
165
00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:02,720
Even screaming
at the top of our lungs... nothing.
166
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:07,626
So when this man said,
''Step aside'', and everyone did,
167
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:10,556
I asked my aunt, ''Who is this guy?''
168
00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:13,029
And she said he was a doctor.
169
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:17,601
And I thought,
170
00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:21,078
''I want to be a doctor too.''
171
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:27,892
But when I lost my first tooth,
and nobody left $180,000
172
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:31,138
under my pillow,
I decided to become a nurse.
173
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:35,331
We do all the real stuff anyway.
174
00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:46,627
- You OK?
- Yeah.
175
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:50,752
I may eventually need a vagina transplant.
176
00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:53,619
Go! Go!
177
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:57,535
We don't have much time!
178
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,352
You know what?
179
00:12:00,512 --> 00:12:05,461
After I have sex five times with somebody,
I like to have the relationship talk.
180
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:08,156
I know it seems rushed,
but five times
181
00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:12,505
usually takes me anywhere
between six months and seven years.
182
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:17,457
Let's do it.
Let's have the talk.
183
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:20,373
- You my boyfriend?
- Yep. You my girlfriend?
184
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,006
- Yep.
- Cool.
185
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:24,433
Good to talk things through.
186
00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:26,814
I love that little laugh.
187
00:12:26,997 --> 00:12:30,228
From now on, that is your laugh.
188
00:12:38,049 --> 00:12:39,402
What?
189
00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:44,466
I've seen you naked, so everything
you're doing, I'm watching you do it naked.
190
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:48,677
So, if I go like this...
191
00:12:50,145 --> 00:12:52,101
I just... I saw all of that.
192
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:56,060
Don't be shy. Come here, baby.
193
00:12:57,569 --> 00:13:03,565
- The echo report on the aorta...
- Bravo. Just a big bravo.
194
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:06,980
Heaven help me,
I love newbie theatre.
195
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:10,275
Honest, I do. It's the way
you both play your parts
196
00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:13,968
with such wonderful commitment
that almost had me believing
197
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:18,362
that you aren't having whiny, neurotic,
pale sex with each other.
198
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,622
What are you talking about?
199
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:24,190
The whole floor knows.
We do. Watch this.
200
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:26,420
Laverne, did you know?
201
00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:29,715
Was it supposed to be a secret?
202
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,765
And Carla?
203
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:34,052
Please. I knew before they did.
204
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:36,221
So, there it is.
205
00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:39,038
And if you go ahead
and listen very carefully,
206
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:42,432
you'll hear the familiar sound
of no one caring.
207
00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:48,692
I like that guy.
208
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:53,853
When the Kelsonoviches
settled in Monroeville, PA,
209
00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:56,798
there were two steel mills, three bars,
210
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:59,517
and not a doctor in sight.
211
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:03,184
Then my old man set up a shingle
212
00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,735
and started delivering babies
213
00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:09,922
and stitching up three-fingered
steel men by the wagonload.
214
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:13,550
Everybody loved him.
215
00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:16,606
When they couldn't come up with the cash,
216
00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:19,932
he would gladly
accept a handmade sweater
217
00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:23,302
or a bushel of turnips.
218
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,407
Jackass.
219
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:27,609
Now I get to do this in public.
220
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:37,396
This is a hospital, all right?
People here are already sick.
221
00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:39,299
You guys do it all the time.
222
00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:42,659
- Tell me we don't look like that.
- We don't look like that.
223
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,634
You guys are just jealous
224
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:48,032
cos you're not
the hot couple in town any more.
225
00:14:48,263 --> 00:14:50,299
Jealous, my chocolate butt!
226
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:53,112
I'm telling you, we are so damn hot,
227
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,187
last night, when I was
home waiting for Turk,
228
00:14:56,396 --> 00:15:01,151
I put on this tiny negligee. It was so small
I took it off my Latin Barbie...
229
00:15:01,443 --> 00:15:04,560
When I got home, you were asleep,
drooling like a sheepdog.
230
00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:06,974
You don't have to tell 'em that.
231
00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:08,795
While you guys were sleeping,
232
00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:11,942
we were up in the kitchen
fryin' up some love.
233
00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:16,288
Relationships? Well, Sigmund,
234
00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:19,491
relationships are so fragile.
235
00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:22,225
It just takes one thing, one...
236
00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:27,049
...tiny little offence,
and it can snowball on you.
237
00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:30,897
And if that snowball starts
to pick up speed, God forbid,
238
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:33,289
you better tuck and go.
239
00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:37,699
Why did you do that?
How could you think
240
00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:40,933
that's appropriate conversation for work?
241
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:44,683
- We didn't have sex.
- No.
242
00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:50,442
- Especially not on the stove. What?
- That is not funny.
243
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,338
Sorry.
244
00:15:52,494 --> 00:15:54,485
We didn't.
245
00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:01,658
That's great. Thanks.
246
00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:03,948
Thanks a lot, JD. Really mature.
247
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:06,246
Come on.
248
00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:07,857
Elliot.
249
00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:19,577
I am so full.
250
00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:22,888
- Give me another slice.
- Really?
251
00:16:23,108 --> 00:16:25,144
Yeah. Big one.
252
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:29,516
I cannot have any more
until I work off the last two slices.
253
00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:33,854
So what do you say?
Fat, gassy, bloaty sex?
254
00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:35,871
OK.
255
00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:40,340
- I'm gonna puke!
- I don't care.
256
00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:46,460
Mr Lewis,
257
00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:49,384
we're gonna need another stool sample.
258
00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:54,347
Not for medical reasons.
My robot needs food.
259
00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:57,107
That laugh.
260
00:16:58,309 --> 00:17:01,028
But it's your laugh. I gave it to you.
261
00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:03,697
I love it so much,
I can't stop using it.
262
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:08,586
It's not as charming if you're mad.
263
00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:12,532
You only laugh at your own jokes.
You never laugh at anything I do.
264
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:14,261
That's not true.
265
00:17:14,409 --> 00:17:16,798
...colonoscopy.
Dr Cox, I'm open!
266
00:17:16,995 --> 00:17:18,747
Hit me!
267
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,772
There was nothing funny about that.
268
00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:28,158
Maybe you just don't know funny.
Let me help you out.
269
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:32,169
Silly hats are funny.
ALF? Very funny!
270
00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:36,500
Anyone in a chicken suit...
Oversized phones are funny.
271
00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:38,995
- JD...
- Hold on.
272
00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:40,173
Hello?
273
00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:43,309
She's right here.
274
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,311
It's for you.
275
00:17:45,482 --> 00:17:49,191
You know what?
You're not as funny as you think you are.
276
00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:51,799
And bam!
277
00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:54,297
The shine's off the apple.
278
00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:57,642
That's when you find out that
that pretty girl you married
279
00:17:57,869 --> 00:18:02,181
isn't a pretty girl at all.
No. She's a man-eater.
280
00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:06,973
And I'm not talking about the ''Whoa,
whoa, here she comes'' kind of man-eater.
281
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:11,246
I'm talking about the kind
that uses your dignity as a dishtowel
282
00:18:11,508 --> 00:18:16,946
to wipe up any shreds of manhood
that might be stuck inside the sink.
283
00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:20,281
I may have tormented her
from time to time,
284
00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:23,114
but that's what I thought
marriage was all about.
285
00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:26,428
So much so,
that by the end of that relationship,
286
00:18:26,648 --> 00:18:31,438
I honestly don't know
who I hated more: her or me.
287
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:36,324
I used to sit around and wonder
288
00:18:36,533 --> 00:18:41,129
why our friends weren't trying
to destroy each other, like we were.
289
00:18:41,413 --> 00:18:44,769
And here it turns out
the answer's pretty simple.
290
00:18:47,002 --> 00:18:49,232
They weren't unhappy.
291
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:52,488
We were.
292
00:18:58,179 --> 00:19:00,647
I suck at this.
293
00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:02,521
Sorry.
294
00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:04,436
You look great bent over.
295
00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:09,801
I rolled that damn thing exactly
the way the video I bought told me to.
296
00:19:10,859 --> 00:19:13,453
Probably just a bad ball.
297
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:16,486
You don't have to patronise me.
Tell me that I suck.
298
00:19:16,698 --> 00:19:19,417
It's hard to be honest
when you're so neurotic
299
00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:23,053
you don't even trust the computer
to keep your score.
300
00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:25,961
- I'm neurotic?
- I'm sorry!
301
00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:31,118
- Is it always this hard?
- Bowling's a tricky sport.
302
00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:33,335
- No, I meant...
- I know.
303
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,497
It's difficult for everybody.
304
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:40,677
- My baby got a strike!
- I got a strike!
305
00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:47,084
- My baby did it!
- I got a strike!
306
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:50,023
Knock 'em down!
My baby know how to knock 'em down!
307
00:19:50,231 --> 00:19:52,791
- Turk! I'm dizzy!
- Sorry.
308
00:19:52,984 --> 00:19:55,373
I'm sorry about him.
309
00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:56,844
My turn!
310
00:20:02,577 --> 00:20:04,693
Want me to pick you up?
311
00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:12,557
Enid has always understood
312
00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:15,427
how much my career meant to me.
313
00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:18,465
She knows
I'm an important man in my field,
314
00:20:18,677 --> 00:20:22,511
and it helps her get on all those
boards of things her friends are on.
315
00:20:22,764 --> 00:20:24,959
You know, like, bringing art
316
00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:28,975
to the underprivileged kids
in the community, blah, blah, blah.
317
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:34,442
When I first met her,
she wanted to be a psychiatrist.
318
00:20:34,693 --> 00:20:36,968
But we both decided
319
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:40,509
that that wasn't a fitting profession
for a family woman.
320
00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:43,774
No offence, sweetheart.
321
00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:47,436
I know she's grateful.
322
00:20:47,622 --> 00:20:49,897
She likes to joke that
323
00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:54,156
I choked the last breath of life
out of her long ago.
324
00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:57,572
Now she's just a shell of a woman.
325
00:20:57,799 --> 00:21:01,155
I think that's so cute.
I call her Shelly.
326
00:21:03,972 --> 00:21:07,009
You know, when I call her that,
327
00:21:07,225 --> 00:21:09,898
sometimes she laughs so hard,
328
00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:12,776
she cries a little.
329
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:16,439
You should've gotten a cardiology fellow
330
00:21:16,651 --> 00:21:19,882
to give Mrs Zuckerman
a transvenous pacemaker one hour ago.
331
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:22,229
Sir, I was waiting to see...
332
00:21:22,407 --> 00:21:25,080
You were waiting. I'm sorry, that's...
333
00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:27,674
That's my mistake.
334
00:21:27,871 --> 00:21:30,021
I'm gonna wait with ya.
335
00:21:30,206 --> 00:21:32,197
Dr Cox...
336
00:21:32,375 --> 00:21:34,411
Gotta give it time.
Because, you see,
337
00:21:34,586 --> 00:21:38,261
when you're waiting for someone
to get better all by themselves,
338
00:21:38,506 --> 00:21:41,464
the whole thing becomes about time.
339
00:21:41,676 --> 00:21:45,191
I was waiting to see if she would
tolerate her low heart rate,
340
00:21:45,430 --> 00:21:48,661
which is what the textbooks tell us to do.
Am I right, JD?
341
00:21:48,892 --> 00:21:53,886
- Is she right, JD?
- Technically, yes.
342
00:21:54,189 --> 00:21:57,465
But it's really a judgment call,
343
00:21:57,692 --> 00:21:59,967
and if she really was that bradycardic,
344
00:22:00,153 --> 00:22:02,428
I probably would've called the fellow.
345
00:22:04,324 --> 00:22:07,555
But I... That's me. I...
346
00:22:10,288 --> 00:22:13,166
Always side with the hoochie, Newbie?
347
00:22:13,375 --> 00:22:15,445
It's a rookie mistake.
348
00:22:15,627 --> 00:22:17,618
You hate to see it.
349
00:22:20,632 --> 00:22:24,227
- Tell you about my girlfriend?
- Tell you about my boyfriend?
350
00:22:24,469 --> 00:22:26,221
OK.
351
00:22:28,306 --> 00:22:30,740
I can be myself around Carla.
352
00:22:30,934 --> 00:22:33,289
Turk makes me feel completely safe
353
00:22:33,478 --> 00:22:36,709
and totally independent
at the same time.
354
00:22:36,940 --> 00:22:41,695
And it's all the same,
whether I'm with her or with my boys.
355
00:22:41,986 --> 00:22:44,136
I can say whatever's on my mind.
356
00:22:44,322 --> 00:22:46,392
And even if he doesn't like it,
357
00:22:46,574 --> 00:22:49,407
even if he doesn't understand it,
he respects it.
358
00:22:49,619 --> 00:22:54,374
Don't get me wrong. I'm not gonna
give my boys a back rub.
359
00:22:54,666 --> 00:22:57,976
Sure, if a brother's got an itch,
I'll scratch it, but...
360
00:22:58,211 --> 00:23:00,850
He seems to like who I am.
361
00:23:01,047 --> 00:23:03,038
She's a cool lady.
362
00:23:04,968 --> 00:23:07,163
- I love her.
- I love him.
363
00:23:13,476 --> 00:23:16,036
I should've stood up for you
with Dr Cox.
364
00:23:16,229 --> 00:23:17,947
You should've.
365
00:23:18,106 --> 00:23:21,178
I don't want him to think
it's about our relationship.
366
00:23:21,401 --> 00:23:23,869
I know that you want Dr Cox
to respect you,
367
00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:26,300
but you should want me
to respect you too.
368
00:23:26,489 --> 00:23:29,640
If I didn't respect you,
I wouldn't be having sex with you.
369
00:23:29,868 --> 00:23:33,827
- That's not true. I would be.
- If you can't talk for real, forget it.
370
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:37,436
A perfect dismount
off her high horse.
371
00:23:37,667 --> 00:23:41,455
If you don't like something, say it.
Why hide behind stupid jokes?
372
00:23:41,713 --> 00:23:44,307
Why is it impossible for you
to let anything go?
373
00:23:44,507 --> 00:23:48,136
I let stuff go, like when you wouldn't
stand up for me with Dr Cox,
374
00:23:48,386 --> 00:23:50,946
or when you told everyone
we're having sex.
375
00:23:51,139 --> 00:23:55,132
- When are you letting that go?
- You wanna know why I won't let that go?
376
00:23:55,393 --> 00:23:57,463
You wouldn't stand up for me
377
00:23:57,645 --> 00:24:01,320
because you're terrified
that someone won't like you.
378
00:24:01,566 --> 00:24:04,205
And that's a bad thing?
379
00:24:04,402 --> 00:24:08,839
Why don't we get all my friends together
in a room and we'll fight your friend.
380
00:24:11,451 --> 00:24:13,442
I'm getting so tired of this.
381
00:24:13,620 --> 00:24:15,770
Elliot, this is me.
382
00:24:15,955 --> 00:24:20,392
And there's a lot of people here
who like me for who I am.
383
00:24:20,669 --> 00:24:26,027
- I thought you were one of 'em.
- I thought I was too.
384
00:24:26,341 --> 00:24:30,619
Relationships don't work
the way they do in the movies.
385
00:24:30,887 --> 00:24:35,199
Will they? Won't they? They finally do
and they're happy for ever.
386
00:24:35,475 --> 00:24:39,309
Nine out of ten end because they
weren't right for each other to begin with,
387
00:24:39,562 --> 00:24:42,520
and half of the ones that get married
get divorced anyway.
388
00:24:42,732 --> 00:24:45,849
And through all this,
I have not become a cynic.
389
00:24:46,069 --> 00:24:50,620
I do happen to believe
that love is mainly about
390
00:24:50,907 --> 00:24:56,300
pushing chocolate-covered candies,
and you know, in some cultures, a chicken.
391
00:24:56,621 --> 00:24:59,010
You can call me a sucker.
I don't care.
392
00:24:59,207 --> 00:25:01,926
Because I do believe in it.
393
00:25:03,545 --> 00:25:07,299
Bottom line is couples
that are right for each other
394
00:25:07,549 --> 00:25:10,017
wade through the same crap
as everybody else.
395
00:25:10,218 --> 00:25:13,893
But the big difference is,
they don't let it take 'em down.
396
00:25:14,139 --> 00:25:17,654
One of those two people
will fight for that relationship
397
00:25:17,892 --> 00:25:22,044
every time, if it's right
and they're real lucky.
398
00:25:23,356 --> 00:25:25,745
One of 'em will say something.
399
00:25:38,246 --> 00:25:41,841
Things that wouldn't have bothered
you a week ago in a friendship
400
00:25:42,083 --> 00:25:46,076
become so incredibly important
when sex is involved.
401
00:25:49,049 --> 00:25:52,359
I just think it'd be easier
402
00:25:52,594 --> 00:25:55,904
if you weren't friends
with your girlfriend
403
00:25:56,139 --> 00:25:58,607
at all.
404
00:25:58,808 --> 00:26:03,040
I've always been sure about everything.
Sure that I wanted to be a doctor,
405
00:26:03,313 --> 00:26:07,067
and I was sure that I was gonna
be married by the time I was 25.
406
00:26:08,234 --> 00:26:10,509
But relationships...
407
00:26:11,404 --> 00:26:14,635
I always heard that
when they were right, they were easy.
408
00:26:14,866 --> 00:26:17,983
That even when things got hard
409
00:26:18,203 --> 00:26:20,797
that they were easy.
410
00:26:20,997 --> 00:26:23,670
I don't get that at all.
411
00:26:23,875 --> 00:26:25,911
How is that possible?
412
00:26:27,087 --> 00:26:29,157
Am I in a relationship now?
413
00:26:31,299 --> 00:26:34,848
No. I'm not in one now.
414
00:26:38,390 --> 00:26:39,823
No.
415
00:26:59,577 --> 00:27:01,488
I can't believe today's over.
416
00:27:01,663 --> 00:27:05,212
- I can't believe I ate half a pizza.
- Please. You had two pieces.
417
00:27:05,458 --> 00:27:09,929
If you tell anyone anything about today,
please leave that part out.
418
00:27:10,213 --> 00:27:12,647
I will, cos I'm a gentleman.
419
00:27:20,390 --> 00:27:22,540
Do you think this is gonna work out?
420
00:27:22,726 --> 00:27:25,957
Yeah. I think it's gonna be great.
421
00:27:33,778 --> 00:27:35,769
I believe you.
422
00:27:36,781 --> 00:27:38,772
I believe me too.
423
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:52,000
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424
00:27:53,305 --> 00:28:53,769
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