1
00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:07,192
- Who wants another beer?
- I gotta work early tomorrow.

2
00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:09,316
I'm having fun,
except I had a pizza...

3
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:10,913
- Elliot.
- Yes, please.

4
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,389
- Me too, babe.
- I'll give you a hand.

5
00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,914
<i>When you spend</i>
<i>most of your time in a group,</i>

6
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,468
<i>if you're left alone,</i>
<i>it can get awkward.</i>

7
00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,313
<i>There can be uncomfortable silences.</i>

8
00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:25,516
That was my tummy.

9
00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:28,758
Right.

10
00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:31,912
Dr Murphy, describe the presentation
of Ludwig's Angina.

11
00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:35,874
<i>It's nothing compared</i>
<i>to the silence you hear at work.</i>

12
00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:38,315
Proud to have you on board, son.

13
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,595
I'm sending one of you
to an AMA conference

14
00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:43,478
where you will eat free food,
stay at a nice hotel,

15
00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:45,949
and try not to embarrass this hospital.

16
00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:50,238
I drew a name out of a hat,
and that name was Elliot Reid.

17
00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:52,959
Yes! I never win at anything.

18
00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:55,349
Then I thought...
Who cares what I thought?

19
00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:59,274
The point is, you're not going.
You see, it seems as though

20
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:04,559
you lazybones have forgotten my edict
about residents publishing case reports.

21
00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:08,918
Whoever brings me the most interesting
case gets the ticket to Reno.

22
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,275
You know, sir,
my parents live in Reno.

23
00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:15,359
That's great, sport.
I'm sure you'll see them over Christmas.

24
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,150
Criminy.

25
00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:22,038
<i>Not many things</i>
<i>make the chief of medicine move fast,</i>

26
00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:25,317
<i>but when a patient has the same</i>
<i>name as a wing of the hospital,</i>

27
00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:27,630
<i>you can predict Kelso's behaviour.</i>

28
00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:29,995
Would you like it high up on the cheek

29
00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:33,231
or do you prefer
this fleshy part in the middle?

30
00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:39,430
I'm trying to decide
who's the most detestable suck-up here.

31
00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,875
You, this feminine guy with the perm...

32
00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:43,871
Mom, please.

33
00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:47,157
...or the one in the corner
who can't stop daydreaming.

34
00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:57,117
- I'm sorry, what?
- Great. Another sycophant.

35
00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:00,317
Listen, Molly Menopause.
I need you to quiet the hell down.

36
00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:02,755
You're scaring everyone in the hospital.

37
00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:07,595
They're delivering a baby and it's using
the umbilical cord to crawl back in.

38
00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:11,195
- Now, you listen to me...
- I mean it, sister.

39
00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:15,637
OK. From now on he's my doctor.
The rest of you can get out of here.

40
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,278
Scram.

41
00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:20,311
Wait.

42
00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:23,472
Is that easy to manage?

43
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:31,074
Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports
Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP

44
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:40,996
OK. I'm Dr Cox.
This is my Gal Friday.

45
00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:44,436
She'll help me to take care of you.
But before we get underway,

46
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:46,875
we need you
to ease up on the yakety-yak.

47
00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,030
Drop the macho act now.
They're gone.

48
00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:51,111
Act-schmact.
The lips stay zipped.

49
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:53,668
Zipped-schmipped.
I thought we were riffing.

50
00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:56,320
- We're not.
- Well, aren't you delicious?

51
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:59,836
If I were 20 years younger and tipsy,
this might be your lucky day.

52
00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:01,558
Careful there, sweetcheeks.

53
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:04,791
I haven't decided which way
to take your temperature yet.

54
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,750
She had some
real old-fashioned sass.

55
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,876
You don't see
sass like that anymore.

56
00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:13,315
- Stop saying "sass."
- Sass.

57
00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:16,870
Dr Cox,
I have a patient with blennorrhea.

58
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:22,193
Do you think that's interesting enough
to present to Dr Kelso?

59
00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:25,511
I'm sorry, Nervous Guy,
but I can't do your work for you.

60
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:27,790
So head to the library and look it up

61
00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:30,713
in the New England Journal
of "Who Gives a Rat's Ass"?

62
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:35,510
Leave this instant, this second,
this moment. Just go.

63
00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:37,477
Boy. Tell me this, muffin.

64
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:40,154
You're not gonna be like
these mindless drones

65
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:43,471
trying to turn the sniffles into
something more fascinating

66
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:46,996
just so you're selected to go
to this stupid conference, are you?

67
00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:50,038
<i>I felt I knew the right answer.</i>

68
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,839
- No?
- Oh, good girl.

69
00:03:54,840 --> 00:04:00,472
Nurse Roberts, I just saw your patient
in 106 and the next time you place an IV

70
00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:04,314
and hit the vein on the first try,
I will crack open a bottle of bubbly.

71
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:08,996
I mean, my God, woman. The man
looks like Al Jarreau was his nurse.

72
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:12,356
- What?
- Isn't he the blind fella?

73
00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:14,749
- You mean Ray Charles.
- Dammit.

74
00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:17,559
Anyway, you're incompetent.

75
00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:20,677
Easy, Laverne. You're a saved woman.

76
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,558
Don't worry.
Tomorrow is his wedding anniversary.

77
00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:24,914
Why's that matter?

78
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:29,118
Tomorrow, Bob Kelso will be sweeter
than flowers dipped in honey.

79
00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:32,351
Which is why every year
we use this time as an opportunity

80
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:35,512
to ask him for anything
our department needs.

81
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:38,717
- Like equipment.
- Or an extra nurse on weekends.

82
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,075
Or a Slip 'N Slide. Who's with me?

83
00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,720
- Shut up.
- I don't get it, Dr Wen.

84
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:47,429
Why would Kelso's anniversary
make him less of a jerk?

85
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:52,196
Well, tonight after work, Dr Kelso will
take his wife to a candlelit dinner.

86
00:04:52,280 --> 00:04:56,353
Then, after they've toasted
to 40 wonderful years together,

87
00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:59,318
they'll go home and...

88
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,039
I think it's sweet
that at their age they still...

89
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:07,429
Then, bam! Dr Wen points to me
and now guess who has to ask Dr Kelso

90
00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:09,192
for a new argon laser tomorrow?

91
00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:12,158
- I'm sorry, baby.
- I'm out of here.

92
00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:15,755
- All right.
- Damn argon laser.

93
00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:18,513
Think we'd hang out
if it weren't for JD and Turk?

94
00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:22,869
Probably not. They are the one thing
we have most in common.

95
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:26,316
We have a lot in common.
We have a hard time digesting dairy.

96
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:29,153
You're right. Do you want
to be my maid of honour?

97
00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:31,754
I don't know why
you're trying to force this.

98
00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:35,116
We're fine. I gotta get back to work.

99
00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:39,869
We both work.

100
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:43,118
So, have you found any cool cases yet?

101
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:46,397
Muffin, I'm not gonna run around
like you mindless drones

102
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:49,552
trying to turn the sniffles
into something fascinating

103
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,756
so you can go to
some stupid conference.

104
00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:53,034
Schmonference.

105
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,553
<i>It's fun to rhyme!</i>

106
00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:57,438
It's an amazing networking opportunity.

107
00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:00,034
Doesn't matter,
cos I've got it wrapped up.

108
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:04,557
- Something better than blennorrhea?
- Doug, you would not believe it.

109
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,309
And as you can see,
the ass is on the front.

110
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,668
Front butt. It's like the grail.

111
00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:20,991
Did you say something,
Mr Too-Scared-To-Get-ln-The-Game?

112
00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:22,997
<i>Don't get sucked in.</i>

113
00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:25,878
You know,
I have an interesting patient, too.

114
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:28,758
So basically, Mr Davis,
you received a blunt trauma

115
00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:31,354
to the fibrous tissue
of the corpus cavernosum.

116
00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:33,271
Great, and that means?

117
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,510
You broke your penis.

118
00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:39,557
I can't wait to get my cast signed.

119
00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:42,393
Yeah, I gotta tell you,
it's such an unusual case.

120
00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:45,552
Would you mind if I get it
published in a medical journal?

121
00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:47,995
That would be fantastic.

122
00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:53,200
I'll let you mull it over.
And smile, Mr Davis.

123
00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:57,558
Tomorrow's gonna be a better day...
for everyone.

124
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,391
Dr Kelso, happy anniversary.

125
00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:18,951
Excuse me, sir.

126
00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:33,393
Carla, I figured out
why we don't hang out more.

127
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:37,359
That's great, pins and needles,
but I'm prepping a patient for surgery.

128
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:40,477
She's my patient too.
I traded with Doug so we could talk.

129
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:43,120
- Are you two friends?
- We're about to be.

130
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:44,599
My God.

131
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:48,958
You're stuck on your first impression,
that I am some spoiled brat.

132
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:50,553
Elliot, not now, OK?

133
00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:54,476
When I was a kid
I was close with my maid.

134
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:59,554
That's it. So you think that you
totally get my whole experience

135
00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:02,677
because of the Latina woman
who cleaned your house?

136
00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:05,797
- Our maid was white.
- What was her name?

137
00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:12,472
Consuela. You know
I don't always say the right thing.

138
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:15,916
You also know how hard I'm trying,
so, we have nothing in common.

139
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,389
I only have things in common
with nice people.

140
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:21,756
You two realise
I can still hear you, right?

141
00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:30,837
If paediatrics needs a new bronchoscope,
you'll get one.

142
00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:34,230
Love to the wife and kidlets.
Who's next?

143
00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:36,436
Do me a favour.
Hold my place in line.

144
00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:38,875
- For how long?
- I don't know.

145
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,758
Well, why? What do you have to do?

146
00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:44,070
Nothing. I might just veg.

147
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,716
Try me.
I can do it with anything.

148
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:49,472
- Go away.
- Go ashmay.

149
00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:52,677
- All right, try this one...
- Angie, put on your flats.

150
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:55,069
- We're going for a walk.
- Eat shmit and die.

151
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,435
<i>Around here,</i>
<i>life can be full of surprises.</i>

152
00:08:57,520 --> 00:09:01,399
<i>Some are as simple as forgetting</i>
<i>something you were supposed to ask for.</i>

153
00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:04,153
Dr Kelso! Is he gone?

154
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:11,591
<i>Some are so unexpected</i>
<i>that everything else takes a back seat.</i>

155
00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:14,638
Sorry, I don't know what
kind of surgery you're having.

156
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:18,315
I'm getting big fake breasts.

157
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:20,516
<i>Some you'd never</i>
<i>thought you'd hear.</i>

158
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:24,036
Newbie, I don't tell you I respect you
a lot because...I don't.

159
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,189
I know.

160
00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:29,034
The fact you're not jumping through
Kelso's hoops like these peons...

161
00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:34,638
Yes, you. Forever you,
a thousand times you. Move. Move it.

162
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:39,316
Anyway, let's make pretend
it's your birthday, because...

163
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:43,075
Ah, hell, I'm impressed.
Let's get some coffee.

164
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:46,755
<i>This is great. There's only one problem.</i>
<i>Ten minutes ago...</i>

165
00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:49,354
What the hell.
Use me in your case report.

166
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:51,431
I'm going to Reno.

167
00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:59,389
Beg your pardon, Newbie.
What are you thinking?

168
00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:03,268
- Not about Reno.
- Attagirl. Let's go.

169
00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:13,949
<i>With every sip of the coffee</i>
<i>Dr Cox bought me,</i>

170
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:17,237
<i>I could taste my own hypocrisy.</i>

171
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:20,551
<i>Thank God my hypocrisy missed me.</i>

172
00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:23,950
I wanted you to stand in line for me
cos I need a new mop.

173
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,679
The floors are slippery
cos this one doesn't work.

174
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:29,752
- You know why it doesn't work?
- It's out of mop gas?

175
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:34,231
No. Cos it's so old it won't
soak up water. See?

176
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:38,671
<i>Something in that filthy mop water</i>
<i>woke me up.</i>

177
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:42,230
<i>I decided I could have my cake</i>
<i>and eat it too.</i>

178
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:43,799
<i>Dr Cox would never know.</i>

179
00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:46,314
What do you say, Bridge Club?
How you feeling?

180
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,595
Like crap.
What the hell's wrong with me?

181
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:51,353
Your abdominal pains
suggest biliary disease,

182
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:54,750
but your tests came back negative,
so we don't know.

183
00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:57,798
But don't worry.
Dr Cox and I never say die.

184
00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:01,714
Unless someone actually dies.
Then we're forced to by law.

185
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:05,679
- He's talking again.
- Oh, come on. The kid's OK.

186
00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:07,671
<i>"The kid"? This is great.</i>

187
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:09,716
Why haven't I heard your name before?

188
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:13,554
I've only been here a year, and
he's just started calling me "the kid."

189
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:15,835
- Which I love.
- She's talking to me.

190
00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,911
You should be more
than an attending.

191
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:21,390
- Let me make a phone call.
- I'm not so good with handouts.

192
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:23,357
I'm only putting in a good word.

193
00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:28,031
Bubby, if you want to help me, why don't
you quiet down and get some rest?

194
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:34,355
If you're a really good girl, I'll wind
up your car and take you to a talkie.

195
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,749
I could do naughty things
to that man.

196
00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:40,515
Uncomfortable.

197
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:44,275
- You're getting fake breasts?
- Stripper big.

198
00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:48,114
Forgive me, Mrs Kellerman,
but why wait until now to do this?

199
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:51,078
- Cos you're so old.
- Yeah, Elliot, she gets that.

200
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:54,152
Yeah, I know.
I'm sure she gets it all the time.

201
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:58,597
Look, I've been self-conscious my whole
life and I finally got the courage.

202
00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:02,912
Can you honestly say there's nothing
you'd change about yourself?

203
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,639
- I can honestly say that.
- Me too.

204
00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:08,996
- Then you're both liars.
- Hey, Mrs K.

205
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:12,789
Let's get you into a fresh pair
of blouse bunnies.

206
00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:16,589
To hell with this "there's only
one day to ask Kelso" thing.

207
00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:20,355
Shoot, I'm getting
that argon laser today.

208
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,031
Dr Kelso...

209
00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:43,471
So uncalled...

210
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:46,311
- What?
- Nothing.

211
00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:51,838
- And you?
- I don't want anything from you.

212
00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:55,117
That's what my son says,
but when Mother's Day rolls around,

213
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:58,078
guess who wants to go halfsies
on a pasta pot for Enid?

214
00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:00,390
She's not my mother, dammit.

215
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:04,917
And don't think I've forgotten that
you have yet to turn in a case report.

216
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,355
You have until six.

217
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:09,351
You can't just change your mind.

218
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:12,238
I'm sorry. Did I pass out
from the pain in my penis

219
00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:15,312
and suddenly
we're not in America anymore?

220
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:18,153
<i>Crap.</i>

221
00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,629
- What's this?
- It's a mop.

222
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:23,473
Yeah, I got that. I mean,
why'd you get it for me?

223
00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:27,473
Cos I thought it would be nice.
Why? Don't you like it?

224
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:32,474
Well?

225
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,112
Hang on.

226
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:44,998
Man, today could not get any worse.

227
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:49,278
If you were to change one thing about
my appearance, what would it be?

228
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,555
You're testing me. I get it.

229
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:55,758
You know I don't like you talking to God
when we're trying to have a discussion.

230
00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:59,753
Now, if I were to be
really honest with myself,

231
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:04,072
I would change everything.
What do you think?

232
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:05,991
Why don't we just skip what I think

233
00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:09,959
and jump right ahead
to not having sex for a month?

234
00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:11,951
Are all women this crazy?

235
00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:14,600
<i>I hate my cheeks. Suck them in.</i>

236
00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:16,477
I'll take some of that.

237
00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:20,155
<i>That's right, work it baby.</i>
<i>Now you're smoking.</i>

238
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:23,472
<i>God, I'm hideous.</i>

239
00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:27,519
Good news, Mrs Warner. We got
a pretty good idea what's going on...

240
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:31,991
<i>So I don't have a case to present.</i>
<i>At least this way we get to stay a team.</i>

241
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:35,231
It turns out the EGD
showed multiple erosive peptic ulcers,

242
00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:37,788
and the secretin injection test
was positive,

243
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:41,759
which suggests you have gastrinomatous
Zollinger-Ellison Syndrome.

244
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,114
In English, please.

245
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:46,510
Your stomach acid
is eroding your own intestines.

246
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:49,433
It's remarkable.
I've never seen anything like it.

247
00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:52,159
- Newbie, you?
- No.

248
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:55,869
<i>I realised Mrs Warner was the</i>
<i>most interesting case in the hospital.</i>

249
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,598
The whole thing's treatable.

250
00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:01,116
We're going to step outside
and then we'll get underway.

251
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,634
- Newbie, what do you say?
- <i>I had to go for it.</i>

252
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:07,190
If you give me a second,
I wanna ask Mrs Warner something.

253
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:10,397
- What?
- To marry me.

254
00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:12,675
Come on, heel toe. What do you say, kid?

255
00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:23,790
Mrs Warner, would you give me
permission to present your case

256
00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:25,791
to be published in a medical journal

257
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:28,519
so that I might be chosen
to go to an AMA conference?

258
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:32,798
- Sure, why not?
- Thanks.

259
00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:34,791
Excuse me.

260
00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:41,874
Dr Kelso,
can I have a minute of your time?

261
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:44,679
Oh, for God's sake, son.
I have two more days of peace

262
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:48,469
before my wife returns from fat camp.

263
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:52,633
I need an argon laser, and I was gonna
ask you yesterday, but then... Hold up.

264
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:55,518
How can you make love
to your wife if she's at fat camp?

265
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,990
How can I make love to her
when she's not at fat camp?

266
00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:03,915
- Sir, you lied to us.
- I'm Bob Kelso. Nice to meet you.

267
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,958
Look, sport, if people think
I'm only giving once a year,

268
00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:09,918
they'll only be asking me
for things once a year.

269
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:13,515
Get out of my eye line.
Nurse Tidsdale is wearing ankle socks.

270
00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:18,193
How about I don't?
And how about you help me out

271
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:20,475
and I won't tell anybody about this?

272
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:26,795
Unless you like it when people come
and ask you for stuff every single day.

273
00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:32,672
Fat camp.
Six years she's been going there,

274
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:35,320
and the only thing
getting thinner is my wallet.

275
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:43,795
- Is JD here?
- No, it's just me.

276
00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:47,156
I guess I'll just wait too.

277
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,629
- Crap.
- Fine. I'll wait outside.

278
00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:54,669
No, I was talking to my hair.
If it's even the least bit humid,

279
00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:56,716
all of a sudden I'm Doctor J.

280
00:16:56,800 --> 00:17:00,270
Is he in radiology?

281
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:02,271
Yeah.

282
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,997
Carla, you know,
I would kill for your hair.

283
00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:11,038
- Really?
- Yeah.

284
00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:14,351
- I would kill for your legs.
- I would kill for your lips.

285
00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:17,318
I'd kill for that wagon you're draggin'.

286
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:20,756
- That's your butt.
- Thank you.

287
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:24,356
- Wagon?
- Draggin'.

288
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:31,432
I won! Thank you, Mrs Warner!
In your face! In your face! In your...

289
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:37,031
- ...face.
- Congratulations.

290
00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:41,432
You get to represent the Kelso Kennel
Club at the big show in Reno.

291
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:44,432
Remember when you are prancing
in front of the judges

292
00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:47,671
to keep that shaved behind of yours
held up nice and high,

293
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:49,751
like the proud puppy that you are.

294
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:52,195
When it comes time
to hand out blue ribbons,

295
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:55,033
it will be such an exciting time
for you.

296
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:58,157
But for the love of God, Newbie,
you've gotta try, try, try

297
00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:00,629
not to squeeze out a dookie
on the Astroturf.

298
00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:06,750
Cos... I mean, God forbid you were ever
an embarrassment to Master Bob, right?

299
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:11,312
You know, I don't care what you think.

300
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:13,630
- Yeah, you do.
- I know.

301
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:21,914
Look, I wanna be like you...
but a more successful you.

302
00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:27,113
There's nothing wrong
with playing the game once in a while.

303
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:30,954
Ten years from now when I'm your boss,
I'll throw in a good word for you,

304
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:34,476
and you won't even have to ask...

305
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:36,039
...sir.

306
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:46,196
<i>I like to think your life comes</i>
<i>down to the choices you've made.</i>

307
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:49,551
<i>Like the choice</i>
<i>to stand up to a superior.</i>

308
00:18:55,760 --> 00:19:00,151
<i>Or to focus on what you have</i>
<i>in common instead of what you don't.</i>

309
00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:11,113
<i>Or the choice</i>
<i>to let someone help you for once.</i>

310
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:18,359
<i>In the end,</i>
<i>you just have to trust your decisions.</i>

311
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:21,159
You're the husband?
We gotta get you bigger hands.

312
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,549
<i>And hopefully</i>
<i>you'll land on solid ground.</i>

313
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:29,113
- Well, what about your new mop?
- I like my old one.

314
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:32,715
- But you cried.
- No, that was you.

315
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,071
It was a good one.

316
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:47,000
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www.V2.Frigorifix.com

317
00:19:48,305 --> 00:20:48,290
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