1 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:10,149 In my four years, there have been many emergencies at Sacred Heart, 2 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:12,674 but none like this one, because today... 3 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:15,320 Where is he? 4 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:19,591 Dr Cox's son needed two stitches. 5 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:22,315 - I got here as soon... - Shut it, Newbie. 6 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:24,391 Your blacker half is concentrating. 7 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:28,029 - How are you holding up? - I'm a little nervous. 8 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:30,111 Well, now you make me all nervous. 9 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:33,954 I'd focus, because that tiny patch of skin on my son's forehead 10 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:36,474 is more important to me than then entirety 11 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:38,710 of your high-fiving, head-shaving, 12 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:41,678 air-balling, insulin-needing existence, 13 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:45,958 which I guarantee will come to an abrupt, very unnatural end. 14 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:48,514 OK, I'm done. 15 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:50,431 We all held our breath together. 16 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:54,552 The surgeon lives! 17 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,560 The Todd forgot to breathe again. 18 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:02,870 Starting CPR. 19 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:06,630 Mr Gerst, what seems to be the problem? 20 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:09,075 - I took some pills. - Come on, help me out here. 21 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:12,436 Happy pills, sad pills, sleeping pills, sane pills, pain pills, 22 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:14,750 - brain pills, Spain pills... - Man pills. 23 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:18,355 The commercial says consult a physician if the condition persists 24 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:20,874 - for more than four hours. - If what persists? 25 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,071 Let's just say you took uppers. 26 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:34,711 Dude, check out what I found when I was taking out the trash! 27 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:38,629 That is the most ridiculous hat I've ever seen. 28 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:40,233 And I must have it. 29 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:42,636 Aren't you gonna be late to meet Carla? 30 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:43,789 I've got time. 31 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:47,839 Turk and Carla were having trouble, so she'd been staying at Elliot's. 32 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:49,319 You were late the last time. 33 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:52,198 But I set the clock ahead an hour so I wouldn't be late. 34 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:55,590 I set it back three so we could see what it felt like in Honolulu. 35 00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:58,274 I set it ahead five so I wouldn't feel like a skeeve 36 00:01:58,360 --> 00:01:59,839 for watching porn in the day. 37 00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:03,549 I set it back to 8.08, turned it upside down to see if it looked like "Bob", 38 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:05,551 - which it does... - That's true. 39 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:08,393 Which means that it's actually... 40 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:10,429 - 9.52! - 9.52! 41 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:13,239 My God! I gotta be downtown in, like, eight minutes! 42 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,914 Dude, we're never gonna make it in time! 43 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:20,039 - Take a shortcut through that hedge! - You got it, player! 44 00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:22,910 Hold on, buddy! 45 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,997 - That was a thick bush. - Really, Turk, was it a thick bush? 46 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:32,958 Because there's berries in my ass. Just go! 47 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,589 Sorry. My bad, dude. My bad. 48 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:45,074 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP 49 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,197 Don't worry, Turk, I got 'em! 50 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:53,872 Strike! 51 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:59,039 Turk, why are you wearing pyjamas? 52 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:01,031 I really want you to come home, 53 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:04,157 and on the off chance you said yes, I'd be ready to snuggle, 54 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:07,437 and that would hopefully lead to, but necessarily require, 55 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,432 relations of the intimate nature. 56 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:14,911 Turk, with everything that's happened, I'm just having trouble trusting you. 57 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,912 If there's anyone in this world you can trust, it's me. 58 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:21,470 Turk, you're the one I don't know if I can trust, so how am I supposed 59 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,711 to trust that I can trust you telling me that I can trust you? 60 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,439 My head hurts. 61 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,275 I wish I knew how it was going. 62 00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:35,118 Sorry about your hogs, fellas. Enjoy the free espressos. 63 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:39,836 Warlord, I told you to sip it. 64 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:44,796 - Use your words. - Warlord burn mouth. 65 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:46,552 He did, cos he wasn't listening. 66 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:49,518 Napkin on your lap, Satan's Valet. Thank you. 67 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:10,598 Hey, what are you doing, Frankenstein? 68 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:12,875 Photo journal for my photography class. 69 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,554 Terrific. Could I see your camera? 70 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:18,313 Very interesting. Oh, there's film in it. 71 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:22,108 Hey! All my pictures were in there! 72 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:25,158 "Dead Patient With Shirt", "Dead Patient Without Shirt", 73 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,629 "Me in Shirt Being Yelled at by Angry Family". 74 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:29,915 Do you have any idea of what would unfold 75 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,956 if Jordan were to see that picture? 76 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:35,919 It is a heart-wrenching tale of woe involving Jordan's second cousin, 77 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,991 who plays for the New England Patriots, 78 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:41,072 and me having a Super Bowl ring removed from my oesophagus. 79 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,594 Jordan's never going to see these stitches. 80 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:45,671 Well, I hope you realise this means war. 81 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:47,751 Buzz off, you big monkey. 82 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:51,514 Poor Mr Gerst. 83 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:54,353 What's that like, to have an erection for nine hours. 84 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:56,032 Ask me in 20 minutes. 85 00:04:56,120 --> 00:05:00,910 Get this. He doesn't have erectile dysfunction. Why take those drugs? 86 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,194 What's this? 87 00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:05,397 Why, it's a dummygram, and it's addressed to you, Barbie. 88 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:09,109 Let's read it and find out what's in there. You are disturbingly naive. 89 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:13,876 Stop. Almost 50 percent of ED drugs are taken by recreational users. 90 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:16,235 - Stop. - That can't be true. 91 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:20,271 Everyone, would you go ahead and close your eyes for a second? 92 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:24,148 Great. Now, would all the men in the room who have tried Mr Happy pills 93 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:27,277 go ahead and grab your fork and bang your glass. 94 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,713 Thank you. 95 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:36,632 Ted, everyone stopped! 96 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,034 Oh, damn it! 97 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:45,517 - She's got this trust issue. - Just tell her she can trust you. 98 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:48,273 I did. If I'm the one she didn't know she could trust, 99 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:51,079 how is she supposed to trust me telling her she can? 100 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:52,878 - My head hurts. - Mine did too. 101 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:54,518 - I need you to go in. - No way. 102 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:57,751 It's never smart to get in the middle of a relationship. 103 00:05:57,840 --> 00:05:59,319 I'll let you wear my top hat. 104 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,960 Hey! Want to grab a beer? 105 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:03,598 Lose the hat. 106 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:08,471 - Hi. - Hello, there. 107 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:10,232 What's with all the Band-Aids? 108 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:14,711 Jack was getting nutty, having some fun. See, I even let him put one on me. 109 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:16,756 - Really? - Yeah. 110 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:22,197 - Are those stitches? - What are the odds you'd pick that one? 111 00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:24,748 Jack just... He just fell off of the jungle gym. 112 00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:26,558 You're not careful enough! 113 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:29,154 What about the time he brained himself? 114 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:31,356 - That was an accident. - Quick question. 115 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:33,431 Why is it an accident when he's with you, 116 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:36,432 but when Jack gets hurt on my time, I'm not careful enough? 117 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,511 Because I... 118 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,875 Oh, dear God. 119 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,871 You're speechless. 120 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:48,476 I won! I won an argument. Jack, it's unprecedented. 121 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:52,269 We'll be at the playground drinking beer. Oh, God, we love beer! 122 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:53,839 But... 123 00:06:56,920 --> 00:07:00,037 That guy needs to do some serious thinking about baseball. 124 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,429 - He wouldn't even let me see it. - Meathead. 125 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:04,679 Good, you both looked. 126 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:07,479 Now, Mr Gerst came here for help, and we're doctors, 127 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:11,109 so how about we try and treat him with a bit of dignity and respect? 128 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:15,273 That man is a human sundial. 129 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:23,311 It's so nice to get out. 130 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:25,792 Do you know who sings the song? 131 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,155 I can tell you who doesn't: Billy Joel, 132 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:31,038 who brought us hits as Uptown Girl and Matter of Trust. 133 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:34,032 Speaking of trust, you know who's trustworthy? Turk. 134 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:38,193 I call him Turkey-Turkey-Turkey- Turkey-Trust-Trust. A little nickname. 135 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:41,352 J.D., I know what you're trying to do and it's very sweet, 136 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:44,796 but the last couple of days have been so messed up and confusing, 137 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:48,077 I'd love to just try and forget about it and have a few drinks, OK? 138 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:50,594 I'd talk about him until you made me leave. 139 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:54,116 - I'll let you put the hat back on. - Two appletinis, governor. 140 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,754 Look at my girl. Right back up on the monkey bars, 141 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:02,149 after she chipped her tooth there last week. 142 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:06,518 My kid's got a forehead full of stitches from leaping off the jungle gym. 143 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:09,558 When my wife's not around, I let her stand on my shoulders. 144 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:12,154 Really? Wait till you get a load of this. 145 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:16,354 OK, here we go. What are we doing? Come here, you. You come here, you. 146 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:21,113 Giant man, why are you making that noise? 147 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,555 Because my camera doesn't make a real sound, 148 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:26,473 and it's more fun that way. See? You go... 149 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:30,989 Look happy. Look sad. 150 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,111 Look crazy. 151 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:35,713 Look like you're going away. 152 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,554 You need to set an example of professionalism. 153 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:45,950 You're not gonna do that by making fun of that man's slinky-doo. 154 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:50,272 Don't pull me! I'm your boss, for God's... Hello! 155 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:54,069 Well, Mr Gerst, your situation doesn't seem to be reversing itself, 156 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:57,789 so I think we're gonna need to schedule a procedure to relieve the... 157 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:02,355 Woodiness. 158 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:06,035 My fiancée is 24. She said she wanted to do something special. 159 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:09,396 Turns out she just meant having breakfast with her family. 160 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:12,438 Those pills didn't kick in until just about the moment 161 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:14,988 I'm introduced to her 90-year-old grandmother. 162 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:20,108 And sure enough, that little lady gives me the waist hug from her wheelchair. 163 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:21,394 I need that chart. 164 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:24,233 Sweetheart, it's not healthy to hold it in. Let it out. 165 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,276 - You know you want to. - I'm fine. 166 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:30,990 I pulled away from that encounter with Grandma Helen's breathing apparatus. 167 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,275 My work here is done. 168 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:41,877 Oh, my God, I can't stop! I'm sorry. I have to pee. 169 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:46,879 OK, J.D., why are we sitting up here? 170 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:50,953 Because you can see Elliot's whole apartment from up here. 171 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:52,758 J.D., you're drunk. 172 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:56,549 Carla, I'm not as think as you drunk I am. 173 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:00,957 Then why can't you let go of the couch? 174 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:03,679 I can let go of the couch if I so choose. 175 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:06,115 OK, let go of the couch. Let it go. 176 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:09,953 You see? 177 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:19,594 There are many things we can't control, no matter how strong we might be... 178 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,075 ... like a knee-jerk reaction... 179 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:26,197 I am so sorry. 180 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:30,750 I'm done. I'm done. Yes. 181 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:32,353 It's OK. 182 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:38,354 ... or a janitor who has it in for you. 183 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:43,194 Hi. Look what someone was nice enough to give me. 184 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:47,712 Janitor. 185 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:56,073 Oh, thank you for helping me have some fun tonight. 186 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:58,037 You're welcome. 187 00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:02,159 Sometimes you let go of the control you do have in a brief moment of weakness. 188 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:09,874 Sorry. Drunken accident. 189 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,518 - Nothing happened. - Right. 190 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:13,192 - Good night. - Good night. 191 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:14,998 - Good night. - Good night. 192 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:18,470 - Buenas... nose things. - Good night. 193 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:22,675 Like she said, everything's fine. 194 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,520 There's nothing like the rays of the morning sun 195 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:35,037 reminding you that you got drunk and kissed your best friend's wife. 196 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:38,112 - Oh, my God! - Oh, my God! 197 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:40,191 - It really happened? - It was nothing! 198 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:42,316 - There wasn't tongue! - No tongue! 199 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:44,391 - A friend kiss. - Were your lips parted? 200 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:46,198 No, I pursed them like this. 201 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:48,714 I remember my one lip being on top of your lip, 202 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:50,870 my other lip in the middle of yours. 203 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,191 Your lips were apart and I don't think that's a friend kiss! 204 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:57,113 It's a friend kiss, and we will never talk about this! 205 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,111 - All right. - What's going on? 206 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,633 - Nothing. - We kissed. 207 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,119 - Carla! - A friend kiss? 208 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:03,269 - Yes. Carla! - No! 209 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:04,793 You're killing me! 210 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:11,032 - This never leaves the room! - Why did you close my window? 211 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:18,548 Oh, no! She wrote "J.D. And Carla kissed" and she's gonna tell Turk! 212 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:20,949 No, no, stop her! 213 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:23,679 Don't worry, ladies, I've closed the window. 214 00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:32,114 J.D., I don't have a messenger monkey. 215 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:38,190 All right, fine, I'm a little rougher than you are, but guess what? 216 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:41,556 The two of us have two distinctly different parenting styles. 217 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:47,317 You're an overbearing psychotic, and I'm, well, you know... fun. 218 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:51,632 If we can meet somewhere in the middle, I think Jack's gonna be terrific. 219 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:55,190 Besides, it's not like I ever put him in any real danger. 220 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:56,715 Flip! 221 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:59,360 Flip? What does "flip" mean, Perry? 222 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:03,831 Jack probably thinks that Mommy and Daddy are being a little too sarcastic. 223 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:04,989 Maybe. 224 00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:07,548 Or it's because every time he says "flip", 225 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:10,950 Daddy does a little trick where he grabs Jack by the ankles, 226 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:15,431 he flips him upside down, he drops him down onto his shoulders and then... 227 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:17,590 ...puts him in a little baby trapeze, 228 00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:20,399 shoots him across the sand box without a net. 229 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:24,592 You are never taking Jack to the park without me. Ever! 230 00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:26,159 Jordan. 231 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:31,879 - A trapeze? - Yeah. Photoshop. You can do anything. 232 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:34,599 Here I have you wearing a duck's bill. Get it? 233 00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:37,118 Because you're a quack. 234 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:39,439 No?! 235 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:42,398 Come on. Classic comedy, my friend. 236 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:44,311 He'll learn. 237 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:47,870 I'm a horrible person. There I was, on my high horse about Mr Gerst, 238 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,269 then I turned out to be as bad as everyone else. 239 00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:53,557 Give yourself some credit. You were worse than everyone else. 240 00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:56,916 Maybe I was, but you know what? I'm gonna try and better myself. 241 00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:00,356 Unlike you, I'll follow through, Mr Sign Up on the Bulletin Board 242 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:03,113 for German Lessons and Never Show Up. That's right. 243 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:04,599 It was my flier... 244 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:10,435 I broke up with my German mistress. She smells like sauerkraut. 245 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:11,919 I'm so sorry. 246 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,833 If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go into that room right now 247 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,797 and own up to what I did. 248 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:23,875 Hello? Did someone come in? 249 00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:29,228 I had to hide from Turk, so I went to the one place 250 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:31,311 where I knew no one would ever venture. 251 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:34,119 Ted? Ted? 252 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,555 - A little help! - Ted, what are you doing? 253 00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:39,518 I like to do stomach crunches after lunch. 254 00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,352 Ted, lunch was four hours ago. 255 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:45,194 - Yep, I wasted most of my Tuesday. - It's Wednesday. 256 00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:48,590 Oh, man, I missed the Gilmore Girls! 257 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:53,157 - There you are. Hey, Ted. - Hey. 258 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:56,437 - How did it go last night? - What's with the fifth degree? 259 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,432 - Don't you mean third degree? - This is two degrees worse. 260 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:01,988 I can't breathe. I'm trapped in a death coffin. 261 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,071 I wanted to see if you got anywhere. 262 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:07,550 He knows your lying face, but silence is incriminating too. Think! 263 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,279 What's between silence and talking? 264 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:15,231 Turk? I thought you could take me over to Elliot's place 265 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,550 to get my stuff so I could move back in. 266 00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:19,915 Yeah, sure... Really? 267 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:23,675 - All right, meet me downstairs, OK? - OK. 268 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:25,591 I owe you one. 269 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,513 You should sit down. You're looking a little purple. 270 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,477 I know my own body. 271 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:40,955 - Thanks for saving my ass. - Well, I wasn't saving your ass. 272 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:43,838 I didn't realize how easy it is to make little mistakes. 273 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:46,559 They're stupid mistakes that seem like nothing, 274 00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:50,952 but can snowball on you and take your whole marriage with it, you know? 275 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:56,797 I feel like I understand now how Turk could have let stuff like that happen. 276 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:59,075 So I forgave him. 277 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:03,119 - Well, I guess I'm glad we kissed then. - Me too. 278 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:07,351 - You guys ready? - Yeah, we are. Let's do it. 279 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:18,592 OK, we just saw the plastic surgeon. 280 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:22,878 Jack is fine, but if the cut was four inches to the left and 7 inches deeper, 281 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:25,428 it could have potentially scratched his eye. 282 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:29,229 - That was a close one. - What a sweet little angel. 283 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:31,756 Can I just give him a little squeeze? 284 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:33,319 Of course. 285 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:34,674 Back off there, lady. 286 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:38,230 Save up all that energy for the cruise. Go on, get out of here. 287 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:41,073 Hippity-hop to the barber shop. Come on, Mom. 288 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:44,391 This hospital is literally crawling with germs and disease. 289 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:47,313 In all fairness, you don't know if that lady is a sickie, 290 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:50,676 visiting a sickie and she ran her hands all over his sickie face. 291 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,797 - I normally never let people touch him. - Really? 292 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,440 Because these photographs would beg to differ. 293 00:16:56,520 --> 00:17:01,548 Old lady kissing Jack, teenage girl hugging Jack, 294 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:04,916 homeless man... holding Jack. 295 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,594 - Jordan! - It's just Carl. 296 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:09,591 He holds Jack when I get a bikini wax. 297 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:13,593 What's the matter with me? I don't think twice about people holding him, 298 00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:17,150 yet I obsess about things like broken arms, broken legs, choking, 299 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:20,516 kidnapping, drowning, bad babysitters, pretty babysitters. 300 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,239 I freak out over staph infections, blood disease, 301 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:25,550 mumps, measles, sex, drugs, rock and roll 302 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:29,315 and all registered Independents. Between us, we've got it covered. 303 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:32,870 - Was this taken at my mother's house? - I gotta go. 304 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:37,108 Dude, that did not happen. 305 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:41,352 No, I'm in the hospital because I... They think I have avian flu. 306 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:45,353 I gotta call you back. How long have you been there? 307 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:50,594 Oh, 47, 48 minutes. I'm not sure. I nodded off for a while. 308 00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:54,036 Mr Gerst, I'm so sorry for laughing at you. 309 00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:56,588 I have to tell a story. In the seventh grade, 310 00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:59,558 I was at a roller rink and I needed to go to the bathroom. 311 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:03,155 So I just skated right on into a stall and I did my private business. 312 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:04,753 When I went to pull up my pants, 313 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:07,832 I started rolling towards the door, which wasn't latched. 314 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:11,833 I don't know if you've had experience skating with underpants at your ankles. 315 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:14,309 Difficult to stop. Unless, you scream so loud 316 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:16,994 they turn off the music and everyone looks at you. 317 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:20,390 Anyway, that's how I wound up with the nickname Roller Moler. 318 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:23,313 - I'm sorry? - I have a mole on my ass. 319 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:25,994 The cute kind, not the hairy kind. 320 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:28,878 The next day I showed up at school with roller skates on, 321 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:31,952 - and everybody cracked up. - Why are you telling me this? 322 00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:35,157 Because I owned up to it. This is funny, Mr Gerst. 323 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:39,916 If you don't become part of the joke, it will follow and devour you. 324 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:43,709 - Can I get a look at that mole? - No. No. 325 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:50,552 This is nice, the three of us sitting together again like three musketeers. 326 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:53,438 Yeah. And I need you guys to scrape your plates 327 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:56,034 before you put them in the dishwasher. 328 00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:59,271 She's back. My baby's back! 329 00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:05,194 Carla was right. If a relationship's gonna work, it has to be based on trust, 330 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:07,919 like a wife trusting her husband. 331 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,436 - Kid's back on the jungle gym. - Sure. 332 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:13,592 - Guess your wife backed down. - Bet your sweet ass she did. 333 00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:15,716 Even if it involves a compromise. 334 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:20,038 Hey, Jack! Just blink when you want me to get you down. 335 00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:22,998 Just give me the old blink-a-roonie. Terrific athlete. 336 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:25,469 I'm thinking 2016 Olympics. 337 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,710 Oh, God, was that a blink? Excuse me. 338 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,989 Or a patient trusting his doctor to help him hold on to his dignity. 339 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:37,436 Yes, and then I pulled off Grandma's breathing apparatus. 340 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:39,556 No, I'm serious. 341 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,629 It may take a lot of work, but it's worth it. 342 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:48,196 Wow, that was a moist kiss. Wish I was wearing an apron. 343 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:52,193 Baby, from here on out, I hide nothing from you. 344 00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:53,952 It's a clean start for us. 345 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:56,879 Sports time! 346 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,952 Because in the end, things work out for the best. 347 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,350 J.D. And I kissed. 348 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:09,352 Or not. 349 00:20:10,305 --> 00:21:10,786 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP