1
00:00:01,640 --> 00:00:05,076
<i>No one wants to live out their last</i>
<i>years in a hospital, but people do.</i>

2
00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:08,709
<i>There's not much we can do for them</i>
<i>except try to protect their dignity,</i>

3
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,711
<i>and, of course, bet on them.</i>

4
00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:13,712
- Come on, Mr Gilmore.
- Come on, Colonel Mustard!

5
00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:16,795
Ha! Pay up.

6
00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:18,677
Can I get some Jell-O, please?

7
00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:19,988
Jell-O is for winners.

8
00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:21,672
- What?
- I'm just kidding.

9
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,591
We'll have some sent to your room.

10
00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:24,954
Thank you.

11
00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:28,396
You'll not believe the trouble
I'm having finding a place to live.

12
00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:30,357
What happened
with that guest house?

13
00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:32,237
It's fully furnished,

14
00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,788
and the owner
of the main house is just great.

15
00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:37,952
In fact, if you look out the window,
you can see him right now.

16
00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:40,508
Oh, he's perfect.

17
00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,079
Perfect for what?

18
00:00:42,160 --> 00:00:44,390
Yeah, I think I'm gonna keep looking.

19
00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:47,676
Things were going better for Elliot.

20
00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:51,518
- Thanks for the movie.
- You're welcome for the movie.

21
00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,716
<i>For some reason,</i>
<i>Jake was able to handle</i>

22
00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:57,031
<i>the piping-hot giant bowl</i>
<i>of crazy that is Elliot Reid.</i>

23
00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:05,111
Oh, God! I locked the door
when a black guy walked by.

24
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:08,112
He'll think I think
he's dangerous cos he's black.

25
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:12,079
Not just black, but with an actual 'fro,
which I don't find scary at all.

26
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:14,628
Not like the zig-zags
and the cornrows and stuff.

27
00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:16,472
- My night's ruined.
- No it isn't.

28
00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:24,595
Hey, did you think she was locking
the door cos you're black?

29
00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:26,557
I thought she was locking the door.

30
00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:28,596
Thanks, man. Better?

31
00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:31,148
Coolio. Let's go get some ice cream.

32
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:34,755
<i>Unfortunately for Jake, he still had</i>
<i>to pass muster with Turk and me,</i>

33
00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:37,593
<i>and nothing is quite</i>
<i>as daunting as our good guy test.</i>

34
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,113
Well, I could use a beer.

35
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,394
I got this round.

36
00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:41,913
Be right back.

37
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,479
- Good guy.
- Great guy.

38
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:45,357
- Oh, my God.
- Excellent choice.

39
00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:49,032
And finished.

40
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:53,272
I remember the bordello being bigger.
There were probably more prostitutes.

41
00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:55,999
But maybe I just remember it
that way cos I was a kid.

42
00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:57,638
It was my 12th birthday.

43
00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:01,952
I asked for a bike.
I got a 48-year-old whore.

44
00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:03,712
It's beautiful.

45
00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:06,439
It's almost a shame I get
these casts off in a week.

46
00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:08,590
- A month.
- A what?

47
00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:10,910
I worked too hard.
Take 'em off in a month.

48
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,513
I'll call my orthopaedist.

49
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:14,352
Dr Murphy, I'd have more sympathy

50
00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:17,989
if this were the first time you'd broke
your feet working in the morgue.

51
00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:19,957
It's like corpses are out to get me.

52
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:21,359
If only.

53
00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:23,954
Anyway, I need you
to give up this thing.

54
00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:27,271
No offence, son, but I can't have
a delusional bozo like you

55
00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:30,318
driving a motorised vehicle
around this hospital.

56
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:35,110
Well, if it isn't
the Sullivan Street Cathouse!

57
00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,397
What are you doing?

58
00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:43,268
Dr Kelso told me to stand here
at exactly 12.05 with my lunch,

59
00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:44,952
but I don't know why.

60
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,439
Thanks, Ted!

61
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:54,074
Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports
Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP

62
00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:02,312
Everybody, gather around here.

63
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:04,470
Circle it up.
Bring it in nice and tight.

64
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:07,916
I know I'm pretty quick to point out
other people's mistakes,

65
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:11,231
but I have a son now,
and I also realise that it's important

66
00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:13,880
to recognise when someone
does something right.

67
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:18,238
Mr Blake, down in bed three,
came in here with what seemed like

68
00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:21,437
a basic heart block,
but someone took the time

69
00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:23,909
to find out that recently
he'd been camping,

70
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:27,276
and correctly diagnosed him
with Lyme carditis.

71
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:30,033
Some of you are gonna think
this is a silly exercise,

72
00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:32,190
but I'd like that someone
to step forward

73
00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:34,669
and stick your hand up in the air

74
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:38,150
so that the group can recognise
your great good work.

75
00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:41,869
This is no time to be modest.
Come now.

76
00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:50,473
Oh, my God, it was me!

77
00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,232
I did it. I'm a genius.

78
00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:54,595
I'm a huge brain in a ripped-up body.

79
00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:58,156
I am Jesus H. Cox., M.D.

80
00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:00,800
Still, I probably couldn't
have done it by myself.

81
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:04,156
I'd like to recognise some
of the other players involved.

82
00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:07,789
There was the intern who originally
misdiagnosed the patient.

83
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,518
- That's me.
- Put your hand down.

84
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:13,434
Then there was the resident
who confirmed that misdiagnosis.

85
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:16,478
I was up late watching
a <i>Designing Women</i> marathon.

86
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,949
And last but not least,
there was the surgeon

87
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:23,238
who wanted to crack open
Mr Blake's chest like a walnut

88
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:25,754
and put in a pacemaker
that he didn't even need.

89
00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:30,118
He's too modest to introduce himself
to the group, so I'll do the honours.

90
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,509
He is so black,

91
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:35,990
so bald, and he can't eat cupcakes
because he's got diabetes.

92
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:38,116
Ladies and gentlemen, Chris Turk.

93
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,919
Can you just get out of here
so we can get back to work?

94
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,195
Not until people start chanting my name,

95
00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:46,636
so that I can exit the room with
my hands held high above my head

96
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,517
in a victorious gesture.

97
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:52,832
See, this diagnosing machine,
this fabulous thing,

98
00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:56,390
well, it runs on props, so I'm going
to need to hear it. Come now.

99
00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:57,833
Cox.

100
00:04:57,920 --> 00:04:59,911
Cox. Cox.

101
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,560
Me. Me. Me.

102
00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:04,232
Oh, so me!

103
00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:07,510
I've never connected
with a guy like this.

104
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:10,876
It's only been two weeks. I know
Jake better than I know myself.

105
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,474
- What does he do for a living?
- I should know that.

106
00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:15,312
What's the sex like?

107
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,994
What makes you think
that I have slept with him?

108
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:20,310
You've known him more than ten minutes.

109
00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:24,512
You are a weird and angry man!

110
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:26,549
Two bits.

111
00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:28,915
I've been thinking
about my relationships.

112
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:32,231
Every time one has potential,
I go too fast and ruin everything.

113
00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:33,912
Jake's not gettin' any.

114
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:38,039
You're half a glass of wine away from
nuding up and doing your go-to move.

115
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,111
- Which is?
- Her on top, eyes closed

116
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,156
yelling, "Don't look at me!"

117
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:44,959
- Sex is disgusting.
- I know, sweetie.

118
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,076
Look...

119
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:49,913
I am attracted to Jake,
but I'm an adult.

120
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,638
I can control my urges.

121
00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:01,317
No means no.

122
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:04,958
Gotta go.

123
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:08,800
- 'Night, Elliot.
- Good night, Jake.

124
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:13,988
I'll check back with you after
I look in on a few other patients.

125
00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:21,589
Mr Evans!

126
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,670
What the hell?

127
00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:36,069
Four, please.

128
00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:43,678
Try not to breathe on the chrome, Lurch.

129
00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:45,318
Out of my way, minions.

130
00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:51,556
You might want to pick up a pamphlet
on that new thing called chewing.

131
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,595
Hey, can I get...

132
00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:56,874
One second.

133
00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:59,428
Cox! Cox! Cox!

134
00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:02,032
I eat here all the time.

135
00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:03,633
Oh, yeah.

136
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:06,751
Guy's choking!

137
00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:08,671
I can't clear his airway.
Call 911!

138
00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:11,672
He'll be brain dead by...
I'm gonna do an emergency trach.

139
00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:13,239
Let me get a knife!

140
00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:14,719
A clean knife!

141
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,556
And can I get a number two,
no sour cream?

142
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,673
Hey, now, great work back there, Gandhi.

143
00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:28,753
What a story, huh? Blood, bravery,
illegal immigrants... It had it all.

144
00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:32,071
When you tell Carla about this,
the next time you two have sex,

145
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:36,073
there's a slight chance that she
actually just might think about you.

146
00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:38,071
Perry, Perry, Perry.

147
00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:40,355
You know what the difference
between us is?

148
00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,908
Besides the fact
that I can carry a conversation

149
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,992
without checking my own reflection
every five seconds?

150
00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:47,798
I'm sorry. I get lost in my eyes.

151
00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:51,953
Anyway, I'm not gonna tell anyone
about this because unlike you...

152
00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,554
...unlike you, I got into medicine
to help people,

153
00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:01,596
not for my own personal glory.

154
00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:03,671
Yeah. Now that's just a load of crap.

155
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:06,877
The only reason anybody
ever does anything is to feed the ego,

156
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:09,428
because that's what we are,
ego monsters.

157
00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:12,717
Mark my words, eventually
you will tell people what you did.

158
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,075
- Oh, we'll see.
- Yeah, we'll see.

159
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,390
- Yeah. We will see.
- We will so see!

160
00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:19,357
- Want to call it?
- That's a good idea.

161
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:22,076
See you later.

162
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,515
I don't know how to avoid
sleeping with Jake.

163
00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:27,512
It's easy. If you find yourself
in a romantic situation,

164
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:29,352
do something that's a turn-off.

165
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,556
Like how you can
swallow your whole fist.

166
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:34,637
No way! She can't do that!

167
00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:37,314
Calm down, boys. Let me just ask.

168
00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:41,710
Can you really swallow your whole fist?

169
00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:43,472
Yeah.

170
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:46,469
Don't ruin it.

171
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:47,913
Men are twisted.

172
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,797
Do you guys have any other ideas?

173
00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:52,872
I don't have time to be dealing
with your little sex pickle.

174
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:55,997
Really? She spent two years
dealing with yours.

175
00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:57,832
I hate that thing.

176
00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:02,475
Sir, you probably haven't noticed this,

177
00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:06,792
but the floors around here are so clean
you can see yourself in them.

178
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,277
Why you handsome son of a gun!

179
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:12,671
Have you looked at me lately, fellas?

180
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:14,512
Oh, <i>bellissimo!</i>

181
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,592
I know we haven't taken care
of that asbestos thing,

182
00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:20,750
and I know some toilets flush upward...

183
00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:23,434
Get to the point.
My battery power is running low.

184
00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:26,671
The one thing that I'm proud of
is that these floors are so clean

185
00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:28,239
you could eat off of 'em.

186
00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:29,958
Why is that?

187
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:34,276
If you're going to throw food
on the floor,

188
00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:36,920
you can just eat there from now on.

189
00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:39,676
Soup night was the worst.

190
00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:42,672
All-righty. Point proving time.

191
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:46,469
Carla, I assume tubby hubby here told
you what happened at the taco stand.

192
00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:49,233
Tell me you didn't
try to get free guacamole again

193
00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:52,278
by telling them you were married
to one of their people.

194
00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:53,952
No, I did not!

195
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:58,475
I don't have the need to make everything
about me. I'm not that pathetic.

196
00:09:58,560 --> 00:10:00,755
So, what did happen at the taco stand?

197
00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:05,277
<i>There are people in life</i>
<i>who know how to push your buttons...</i>

198
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,999
The guy started choking,
so I sprung into action

199
00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:10,196
and gave him an emergency trach.

200
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:11,872
Yeah.

201
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:14,190
<i>It's important to have a plan</i>
<i>to deal with it,</i>

202
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,840
<i>even if it means never</i>
<i>being alone with someone.</i>

203
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,229
Wow, <i>Body Heat's</i> a sexy movie, huh?

204
00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:22,471
Doesn't Kathleen Turner
have dynamite nerps?

205
00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:24,039
Yeah.

206
00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:27,430
<i>Of course, if that person is stubborn,</i>
<i>there's not much you can do.</i>

207
00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:29,158
I'm sorry. I'd love to help you,

208
00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:32,038
but I could give a horse's patootie
about your floors.

209
00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:33,792
My floors are my children!

210
00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,510
I've given them names!

211
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:40,672
<i>The key is to figure out a way</i>
<i>to not let them get the best of you.</i>

212
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,513
Honestly, it was like death and I
had a staring match

213
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:46,751
and, well, death blinked.

214
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:50,150
All of you know
I'm not one to toot my own horn, but...

215
00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:52,515
...beep, beep.

216
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:56,036
OK, that's it! That's it!
I can't take this anymore! That's it!

217
00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:59,476
I saved the guy, people.
Death blinked at me!

218
00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:01,357
You got that? He blinked at me!

219
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:04,876
- OK?!
- Yeah!

220
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:08,509
Oh, doesn't that feel so much better?

221
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:12,195
I am so proud of you.
Well struck.

222
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:14,714
So well struck.

223
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,358
Yes.

224
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,594
It's just the way I called it.
Grandpa Goatee to win,

225
00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:28,878
Pee Pants to place
and Wrong-Way Wally not to finish.

226
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:31,394
- He does have glaucoma.
- I should've been told!

227
00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:35,029
It wouldn't have mattered. You know why?
Because I am always right.

228
00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:38,271
It's something my pal Gandhi
knows a little something about

229
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:41,352
because, you see,
we are both egotistical peas

230
00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:43,590
in a giant narcissistic pod.

231
00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:45,033
And to prove my point,

232
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:48,556
I am going to go ahead
and make an unnecessarily showy,

233
00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:51,598
but undeniably impressive, exit.

234
00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:53,432
Rope time, Gandhi.

235
00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:56,717
Feel it. I'll see you later.

236
00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:02,076
I would so mock him right now

237
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,958
if I wasn't so turned on.

238
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:07,359
I'm not like that, am I?

239
00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:10,398
Actually, Turk,
you are slightly Cox-ish.

240
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,516
Yeah. The way you do that victory dance

241
00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:14,795
every time you win
the slightest argument.

242
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:17,235
- No, I don't.
- Maybe not.

243
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:20,756
You know, Turk, you were right.
Next year is not a leap year.

244
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,038
Damn it!

245
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:32,031
Thanks for giving me a ride to work.

246
00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:34,315
I hope you didn't mind
J.D. Tagging along.

247
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:38,439
- Next time he'll let you sit up front.
- Maybe she'll yell "shotgun" faster.

248
00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:40,909
- Bye.
- Bye.

249
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:44,037
Elliot, you can't keep
taking J.D. Everywhere you go.

250
00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:45,997
You're gonna have to trust yourself.

251
00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:48,958
No, I won't, Carla.
The system is working. Trust me.

252
00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:52,430
I will not be having sex with Jake
anytime soon.

253
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:55,671
That seems like a strange thing
to announce to your friends.

254
00:12:56,720 --> 00:13:00,076
- I just came back to get my keys.
- <i>This is so awkward.</i>

255
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:01,991
<i>Look away. Look away!</i>

256
00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:07,271
- All your references checked out.
- I never gave you any references.

257
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,270
Where the hell's my Rascal?

258
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:16,396
How do you like my new floor waxer?

259
00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:19,950
That's not yours! That's my car thing.
You just painted it!

260
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:22,759
- I did not.
- You've got green paint on your face.

261
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:27,356
I do... Well, that's not paint.
That's pudding.

262
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:30,318
Even if this was the Rascal,
you can't prove anything.

263
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:33,790
And it's no good to hide it from me
cos I got keys to everything.

264
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:37,031
Except the third floor mental ward.
Someone stole that one.

265
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:42,879
- Was he smoking a gavel?
- Seemed to be.

266
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:45,997
Well, if you'll excuse me,
I have work to do. Floors to wax!

267
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:48,196
Floors to wax!

268
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,360
Why do I have to have
my gallbladder taken out?

269
00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:01,318
Because, Mr Hoffner,
you have gallstones.

270
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:03,231
Why do I have gallstones?

271
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:06,790
Did you possibly eat a gall-boulder
and then fall on your stomach?

272
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:08,472
Do I need my gallbladder?

273
00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:11,154
Oh, my God.
It is a completely useless organ.

274
00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:13,071
Wait, that's not completely true.

275
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:16,232
It turns out we could remove it
and then jam it in your mouth

276
00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:19,710
to keep you from asking the question
we've been over for three days.

277
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,394
Come on. We're both in a position
to get good news.

278
00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:26,234
You'll feel better, I'm gonna get the
most annoying patient out of my hair.

279
00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:28,151
Plus, you're in a bonus situation.

280
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:31,676
I hand-picked the surgeon
that you're going to be torturing.

281
00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:34,274
- Here he is now.
- Is this the gallbladder guy?

282
00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:35,998
Do I need my gallbladder?

283
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:38,634
Enjoy.

284
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,716
- I'm giving up on men.
- Just call him.

285
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,711
- You can't make me.
- Unfortunately,

286
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:48,839
I know that the guy you're dating
is always under speed dial number one.

287
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:50,148
<i>Constipation Hotline.</i>

288
00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:52,356
Two is your current boyfriend.

289
00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:54,510
- <i>Hello?</i>
- Frick.

290
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:56,158
Listen, Jake...

291
00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,554
It's not that I'm never
going to have sex with you.

292
00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:04,315
I'm going to, and believe me, when I
am on top, eyes closed and screaming,

293
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,470
you're gonna be happy you waited.

294
00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:09,199
I'm gonna go ahead
and take you off speaker phone.

295
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:12,072
<i>Hi.</i>

296
00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:17,148
- So, are you a good surgeon?
- I'm capable.

297
00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:20,471
Capable.
I'm not sure I want the surgery.

298
00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:23,950
Gandhi... a word.

299
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,439
Look, I know what you're doing in there.

300
00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:30,511
You think if you act like Dr Sad Sack,

301
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:34,752
the patient's gonna opt out of surgery,
and I'll have to spend yet another week

302
00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:37,673
with a man who has such
an attachment to his gallbladder

303
00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:41,116
that, left to his devices, he would
rent a room and have sex with it.

304
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,270
Now, come on.
I need you to sling that

305
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,432
"I'm gonna get freaky-deeky
with my... chisel...

306
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:51,036
and swizzle up the dizzle
for my... bee-ai-itch..."

307
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:54,590
...stuff that you know you do so well.

308
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:57,592
Sorry, I'm not that guy anymore.

309
00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:01,629
Are you sure
I don't need my gallbladder?

310
00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:04,473
Oh... dear... Lord.

311
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:09,075
The reason I've been acting so weird
and having my friends around

312
00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:11,958
is because I think
we have a shot for something great.

313
00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:14,838
I didn't want to ruin it
by sleeping with you too fast.

314
00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:18,799
- What was I supposed to do?
- You could have just told me that.

315
00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:21,110
Yes, but you're forgetting I'm crazy.

316
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,998
Elliot, please.
Look, everybody has their stuff.

317
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:27,436
Like me. I'm emotional.
I've always had trouble expressing it.

318
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:30,557
Here, tell me you like my shirt.

319
00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:33,632
- I like your shirt.
- Cool.

320
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:37,872
OK, now tell me my childhood dog,
Buster, was never put down,

321
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:41,509
and we're gonna be reunited
this weekend. You can paraphrase.

322
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:45,798
- Buster's coming home.
- Cool.

323
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:50,472
There's no difference,
and Buster meant the world to me.

324
00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:52,835
I really like you,
Elliot, but I'm an adult.

325
00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:55,195
I want this to be an adult relationship.

326
00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:59,398
If you want to be patient and not
have sex right away, then that's fine,

327
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:02,438
because I think we have a chance
for something great too.

328
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:08,158
- I want you so bad right now.
- Cool.

329
00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:18,875
Guess I should get goin'.

330
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:24,512
You paged in the middle of a busy day.
Better be important.

331
00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:27,034
- What were you doing?
- Sleeping in a mop closet.

332
00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:28,951
You forced me to do this.

333
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:31,634
Either we figure out a way
to share the Rascal,

334
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:34,712
or neither one of us gets it.
It's your move.

335
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:37,678
You've got eight seconds
before this becomes rubble.

336
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:39,632
Five seconds.

337
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:42,518
Come on. This is gonna hurt you
more than it hurts me.

338
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,477
I doubt it.

339
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,039
You moved my car there, didn't you?

340
00:17:57,120 --> 00:18:00,396
Like I said... a key to everything.

341
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:08,754
I know it sounds corny,

342
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:11,559
but we made a big difference
in that person's life.

343
00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:15,633
I hope she digs her new cans.
You did great work.

344
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,518
You know, it's not about me.

345
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,114
- Assisted five. I'll take it.
- Walk with me.

346
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:24,431
I cannot believe that you
are the one I have to tell this.

347
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:29,196
Ego is good, ya dumbass. The reason
that guy wants you to be his surgeon,

348
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:31,919
the reason that she
is borderline attracted to you

349
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,195
and she so desperately
wants to marry you.

350
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:37,352
Page me when you're headed home.

351
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:40,079
Bottom line, in medicine,
half of pulling it off

352
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:44,119
is believing you're the biggest, badass
of a doctor to ever walk these halls.

353
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:47,510
Want to see how you end up
if you don't believe that?

354
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:52,552
I don't know how it happened again,
but it did.

355
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,110
<i>As I gangsta-leaned down the hallway</i>

356
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,555
<i>in the rad new wheels</i>
<i>I found by the Dumpster,</i>

357
00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:01,916
<i>I couldn't help but think</i>
<i>how ego affects everything.</i>

358
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:09,433
<i>Without a healthy dose of it,</i>

359
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:12,034
<i>you can't trust yourself</i>
<i>to do what you want.</i>

360
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:14,315
I don't think that
we're going too quick.

361
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:15,913
By the way, what do you do?

362
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,992
I make and distribute
Hungarian pornography.

363
00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:24,474
- I'm a real estate developer.
- Thank God.

364
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:28,833
<i>Of course, with too much ego,</i>

365
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:32,515
<i>you can end up losing something</i>
<i>you wish you still had.</i>

366
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:37,673
You OK?

367
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:41,958
I'm not used to walking from my office
to the nurses station.

368
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,517
<i>But with the right amount,</i>
<i>nothing can get in your way.</i>

369
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:51,592
I am going to yank that gallbladder
out of you so fast,

370
00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:54,558
your spleen is gonna say,
"What happened to Frank?"

371
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:57,950
That's right, your kidney
named your gallbladder Frank.

372
00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:00,952
I don't want you to worry about
this another second, OK?

373
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:03,349
Cos I'm the man! I am the man.

374
00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:08,878
Look at you! High-five.

375
00:20:09,305 --> 00:21:09,210
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