1 00:00:01,534 --> 00:00:04,560 [# Toto: Africa] 2 00:00:04,637 --> 00:00:07,333 [J.D.] Living with Elliot was certainly different. 3 00:00:07,407 --> 00:00:11,434 Every inch of her apartment was filled with girly stuff. 4 00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:13,809 There were lavender-scented candles... 5 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,575 ... pink robes... 6 00:00:17,650 --> 00:00:19,709 ... bath salts. 7 00:00:19,786 --> 00:00:23,745 It was awesome. 8 00:00:23,823 --> 00:00:27,953 My first day off in weeks. Only one thing could make it better. 9 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,189 Cranking up the Toto. 10 00:00:30,263 --> 00:00:35,030 # I bless the rains down in Africa 11 00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:37,763 [mumbles] 12 00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:42,066 Mango body butter? 13 00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:47,375 Mmm. 14 00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:52,007 [Pager beeping] 15 00:00:53,686 --> 00:00:56,382 [J.D.] Even though it sucks being paged by an intern, 16 00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:59,516 there was nothing I like more than riding my scooter, Sasha, 17 00:00:59,592 --> 00:01:03,426 through puddles after a rain. And here comes a big one! 18 00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:16,669 Where was I? 19 00:01:18,211 --> 00:01:21,374 You're not aware of any sort of odd underground canal system 20 00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:25,145 beneath the hospital, are you? I think I saw a manatee. 21 00:01:25,218 --> 00:01:28,517 - Was his name Julian? - We didn't exchange pleasantries. 22 00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:29,885 That's Julian. 23 00:01:29,956 --> 00:01:31,480 Watch it, wet paint. 24 00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:34,425 Kelso's starting a line system to help people around. 25 00:01:34,494 --> 00:01:37,463 Green's gonna go to the smokers' lounge, blue to the ICU, 26 00:01:37,530 --> 00:01:40,693 - yellow to all the exits. - What's red for? 27 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:41,791 Sneaker painting. 28 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,804 OK, I'm here. What's the emergency, Keith? 29 00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:52,343 Do you want Mr. Fleming on unfractionated 30 00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:54,380 or low molecular weight heparin? 31 00:01:54,481 --> 00:01:57,541 They're the exact same thing. Every doctor here knows that. 32 00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:59,983 - Why would you page me? - Because I told him to. 33 00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:02,521 And I know what you're thinking, Dorothy. 34 00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:06,650 Why would I have your intern call you in on one of your very precious days off 35 00:02:06,726 --> 00:02:08,660 for something so gosh-darn trivial? 36 00:02:08,728 --> 00:02:11,993 But the real question ought to be, why, when you were an intern, 37 00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:14,898 did you call me in time after time after time after time? 38 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:19,667 So now, to commemorate the first of many unnecessary disruptions of your life, 39 00:02:19,739 --> 00:02:23,004 I've invited Laverne's church choir here 40 00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:25,909 to summarize my feelings in exuberant song. 41 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:29,745 # Payback is a bitch Payback is a bitch 42 00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:33,946 # Payback is a bitch Payback is a bitch 43 00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:36,454 # It's just the beginning 44 00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:40,550 # But it's payback Oh, it's payback 45 00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:42,492 - # Payback is a bitch - # Payback 46 00:02:42,562 --> 00:02:44,427 - # Payback is a bitch - # Payback 47 00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:46,397 - # Payback is a bitch - # Oh, Lord 48 00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:47,626 # Payback is a bitch # 49 00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:50,999 # I can't do this all on my own 50 00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:54,665 # No, I know I'm no Superman # 51 00:02:57,777 --> 00:02:59,677 # I'm no Superman # 52 00:03:02,782 --> 00:03:05,751 [J.D.] I gotta get home before anyone asks me to do stuff. 53 00:03:05,818 --> 00:03:10,380 Fat guy! Go, go, go! Move out! Move out! 54 00:03:10,456 --> 00:03:12,924 Thank you, fast food industry. 55 00:03:13,493 --> 00:03:17,759 Dorian, I need you to do the residents' call schedules for next month. 56 00:03:17,830 --> 00:03:19,889 Sir, I'm not even supposed to be here. 57 00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:24,096 Me neither, son. I was one of the most promising young shortstops 58 00:03:24,170 --> 00:03:26,536 ever to come out of Altoona, Pennsylvania. 59 00:03:26,606 --> 00:03:28,096 Then came the Dominicans. 60 00:03:28,174 --> 00:03:31,940 Long story short, calling them all Pepe was apparently just racist enough 61 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:35,014 to get me a ban from the Appalachian Rookie League. 62 00:03:35,114 --> 00:03:37,674 Have the schedules on my desk by lunch. 63 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,022 That's gonna be us someday. 64 00:03:43,122 --> 00:03:47,252 How does that not make you nervous? I mean, what if our kid's out of control? 65 00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:49,158 I was watching Webster last night. 66 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:53,290 Webster got all into the pancake mix. I mean all into the pancake mix! 67 00:03:53,366 --> 00:03:55,664 Oh, Turk, that's a stupid sitcom. 68 00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:56,997 [Both gasp] 69 00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:59,504 I mean, that's a sitcom. 70 00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:02,803 What if the second our baby's born, I start screwing things up? 71 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:06,606 - [Lullaby music] - [Turk cooing] 72 00:04:06,679 --> 00:04:09,978 Oh, baby, I can't believe it! 73 00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:12,544 [Babies screaming] 74 00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:21,287 OK, either the heat in my office is broken 75 00:04:21,361 --> 00:04:24,330 or I drifted off and fantasized about Rudy Giuliani again. 76 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:28,059 [Laughs] He's not even sexy! Right, baby? 77 00:04:28,134 --> 00:04:31,194 - Rudy, don't stop. - Baby! 78 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:35,799 Relax, she's only fantasizing 'cause you don't satisfy her. 79 00:04:35,875 --> 00:04:38,400 Anyhoo, can someone take Jack for a minute? 80 00:04:38,478 --> 00:04:40,708 - No problem! - Thank you. 81 00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:44,307 Come on. See, Turk? I'm great with kids. 82 00:04:44,384 --> 00:04:48,252 You don't have to check in as a parent until you to teach our son about sports. 83 00:04:48,321 --> 00:04:52,553 And satisfying women. 'Cause I know how to satisfy a woman, right, baby? 84 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,149 I'm sure you can. 85 00:04:54,227 --> 00:04:56,525 That's what I'm talking about. 86 00:04:57,497 --> 00:04:59,931 Done. And I am outta here. 87 00:04:59,999 --> 00:05:01,967 [Pager beeps] 88 00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:03,400 Damn it! 89 00:05:04,337 --> 00:05:07,704 Keith, stop paging me for totally unimportant things. 90 00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,240 [Groans] 91 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:14,212 That man's chest cavity is completely open. I can see his heart beating. 92 00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:17,010 He sneezed and all his surgical staples popped out. 93 00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:18,983 Good page, Keith, good page! 94 00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:22,920 OK, rocktors... That's my name for doctors who rock. Next patient. 95 00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:26,049 [J.D.] Since her fellowship, Elliot loved that her interns 96 00:05:26,125 --> 00:05:28,059 saw her as an endocrinology expert. 97 00:05:28,127 --> 00:05:31,187 Dr. Reid, why would Mr. Baum develop new onset diabetes 98 00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:33,425 and high blood pressure simultaneously? 99 00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:36,991 Well, as an endocrinology expert, in my expert opinion, 100 00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:41,200 both can be expertly explained by an adenoma causing Cushing's syndrome. 101 00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:43,037 Hate to burst your bubble, Barbie, 102 00:05:43,142 --> 00:05:46,873 but your endocrinology fellowship lasted all of five days. 103 00:05:46,946 --> 00:05:50,211 Granted, to you, five days may seem like an eternity, 104 00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:53,013 seeing as it's roughly five times as long as any 105 00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,384 of your pasty relationships have lasted, 106 00:05:55,455 --> 00:05:58,219 but trust me, that hardly makes you an expert. 107 00:05:58,324 --> 00:06:01,020 Really? Because you never went to ass-face school, 108 00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:03,961 but you seem to be an expert at that. Am I right? 109 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,395 Here's some! 110 00:06:05,498 --> 00:06:09,798 You're going to high-five that? Big mistake! 111 00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:13,361 I didn't know what I was high-fiving. I gotta stop doing that! 112 00:06:13,439 --> 00:06:16,203 - Did you eat my Mango body butter? - No. 113 00:06:16,275 --> 00:06:18,436 I schmeared it on a bagel. 114 00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:22,643 Dr. Kelso, what's up? 115 00:06:22,749 --> 00:06:26,515 I just heard that we're doing our first ever in-house heart transplant. 116 00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:30,454 I know you'll be objective in choosing which surgical resident assists, 117 00:06:30,523 --> 00:06:35,859 but I also thought you might enjoy this commemorative Dr. Kelso bobblehead. 118 00:06:35,928 --> 00:06:38,488 Oh, Bobbleheads. 119 00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:42,193 You think you're gonna get bored with them, but you never do. 120 00:06:42,268 --> 00:06:46,568 [Repeating] Bobbily, bobbily. 121 00:06:46,639 --> 00:06:48,607 - Sir? - [Sighs] Huh? 122 00:06:48,674 --> 00:06:50,608 Oh, Turkelton, you're still here. 123 00:06:50,676 --> 00:06:55,306 Did you think you'd be the only surgeon to walk in here and try to bribe me? 124 00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:02,280 Inflatable-five. 125 00:07:03,222 --> 00:07:08,182 None of you will be assisting because we still don't have a donor heart. 126 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:11,697 Last night, Mr. Bolger here was declared brain-dead. 127 00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:15,325 We have to convince his family to pull the plug and give us his heart. 128 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:20,202 Whichever one of you Benihana rejects pulls this off gets the operation. 129 00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:22,705 Go! 130 00:07:24,877 --> 00:07:29,314 My band has decided we're only singing songs from classic movies now. 131 00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:32,249 Ted, I'm a little busy, OK? Toodles. 132 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:38,019 Dr. Reid, what are the possible cardiac complications to thyrotoxicosis? 133 00:07:38,090 --> 00:07:40,251 [Coughs] Hmm. Um... 134 00:07:40,359 --> 00:07:42,589 ...hold on, I just have to blow my nose. 135 00:07:42,662 --> 00:07:45,927 [J.D.] Though I was happy for Elliot the endocrinology expert, 136 00:07:45,998 --> 00:07:48,558 I couldn't figure out how she knew so damn much. 137 00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:51,603 # Just a steel town girl on a Saturday night 138 00:07:51,704 --> 00:07:54,673 # Looking for the fight of her life 139 00:07:54,774 --> 00:07:59,143 To answer your question, thyrotoxicosis can manifest with incessant tachycardia, 140 00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:00,803 leading to a cardiomyopathy. 141 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:03,644 # Locking rhythm with the beat of her heart 142 00:08:03,716 --> 00:08:06,879 # Changing music into light 143 00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:09,888 # She has danced into the danger zone 144 00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:13,915 # When the dancer becomes the dance 145 00:08:14,026 --> 00:08:16,995 # It can cut you like a knife 146 00:08:17,096 --> 00:08:19,963 # If the gift becomes the fire 147 00:08:20,032 --> 00:08:24,901 # On a wire between will and what will be! 148 00:08:24,971 --> 00:08:27,940 # She's a maniac, maniac 149 00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:30,305 # On the floor 150 00:08:30,376 --> 00:08:33,345 # And she's dancing like she's never... 151 00:08:33,412 --> 00:08:38,440 Therefore, Mr. Langley's pancreatitis is most likely secondary to gall stones. 152 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,418 - [Bangs bed pan] - Wrong-o, Perry! 153 00:08:40,486 --> 00:08:42,920 Mr. Langley's pancreatitis is most likely due 154 00:08:42,989 --> 00:08:46,049 to type I familial hyperlipoproteinemia as demonstrated 155 00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:49,060 by the eruptive xanthomas on his Achilles tendon. 156 00:08:50,162 --> 00:08:53,256 Interns, flee, now. 157 00:08:53,332 --> 00:08:56,563 Now, there is just no way you could have known that off the top 158 00:08:56,636 --> 00:08:58,797 of your straw-covered scarecrow head. 159 00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:02,238 Hold on, I need to take a mental picture of your humiliation. 160 00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:03,935 - [Clicking sounds] - Got it. 161 00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:09,471 There are actually many things in life that I've yet to figure out, 162 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:12,245 like why men wear cell phones on their belt 163 00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:16,482 when they could so easily fit them in their pocket, millimeters away. 164 00:09:16,589 --> 00:09:19,319 Or why, and I'm not complaining, 165 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:24,557 women wear tube tops even though every ten seconds it makes them to do this: 166 00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:26,889 "Get back in there!" 167 00:09:26,966 --> 00:09:29,332 But, of all of my endless queries, 168 00:09:29,435 --> 00:09:32,131 the one thing I damn sure will figure out, and soon, 169 00:09:32,204 --> 00:09:35,332 is how you keep coming up with all these fancy-pants answers. 170 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:39,742 It is, for all intents and purposes, like they're falling from the sky. 171 00:09:42,615 --> 00:09:44,276 - [Jack crying] - Excuse me! 172 00:09:44,350 --> 00:09:46,910 Can anybody else watch this kid for a second? 173 00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:49,382 [Groans, sighs] 174 00:09:52,458 --> 00:09:55,894 She'll be all right. I wonder what's taking Jordan so long. 175 00:09:56,562 --> 00:10:00,896 Oh, my God! It's like 130 degrees in here! 176 00:10:02,134 --> 00:10:03,897 - [Electricity zapping] - Oh! 177 00:10:03,970 --> 00:10:05,995 I have got to get out of here! 178 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:09,730 [Sighs] 179 00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:16,673 I think the silicon in my lips is expanding. 180 00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:18,880 [Moans] 181 00:10:19,085 --> 00:10:22,851 I gotta talk to the Bolgers about their son's heart, but I can't find them. 182 00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:26,619 - Oh, they're in the doctors' lounge. - Oh, my God, Laverne, I love you. 183 00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:30,184 If any other surgeon asks about them, you send 'em someplace else. 184 00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:34,426 The cafeteria, the zoo, I don't care. I'm going to get my heart! 185 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,966 We're just not sure, Dr. Turk. 186 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:44,305 [J.D.] When an opportunity is slipping through their fingers, 187 00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:47,642 even a doctor can succumb to one of the basest human impulses. 188 00:10:47,713 --> 00:10:49,806 You know, I've donated an organ. 189 00:10:49,882 --> 00:10:51,713 [J.D.] They can lie. 190 00:10:51,784 --> 00:10:56,016 See, my buddy, he was... he was sick, and so I gave him one of my kidneys. 191 00:10:56,088 --> 00:10:58,921 But my son has only one heart. 192 00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:02,154 But a short time after that, 193 00:11:02,261 --> 00:11:04,229 I donated my other kidney. 194 00:11:04,296 --> 00:11:06,560 We're gonna check on our son. 195 00:11:11,237 --> 00:11:15,105 [J.D.] The coast is clear. Just a few more steps and you're outta here. 196 00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:18,302 - [Jack crying] - J.D., I need to talk to someone. 197 00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:21,605 - Here, take him. - What? 198 00:11:21,714 --> 00:11:22,874 - I'm not... - Come on. 199 00:11:22,948 --> 00:11:23,915 Hey, wait! No! 200 00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:28,385 Dr. Reid, our hospital lecture series is tonight and our psychologist, 201 00:11:28,454 --> 00:11:31,617 Dr. Burk, had to cancel his talk on fear of public speaking. 202 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:35,718 Why? Because he's afraid of speaking in public? Yeah. 203 00:11:35,795 --> 00:11:40,061 No. His depression finally got the best of him and he hung himself. 204 00:11:42,234 --> 00:11:46,295 Anyhoo, we need a speaker and Dr. Cox suggested you'd be the perfect person 205 00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:51,002 for an intensive Q & A on endocrinology. Be in the classroom at six. 206 00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:55,639 And Barbie, say, if it's cold in there, you can just borrow my lab coat. 207 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:59,446 It's super warm because I lined it with these. 208 00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:07,757 J.D., I have to admit this to somebody: I don't like kids! 209 00:12:07,860 --> 00:12:10,351 What? You're the most maternal person. 210 00:12:10,429 --> 00:12:13,990 I'm a nurse! I'm trained to fake it. I don't see what's so adorable. 211 00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:16,967 "You made a poopie!" I'm supposed to be impressed? 212 00:12:17,036 --> 00:12:19,197 There's a monkey at the zoo who can do that. 213 00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:21,330 When he's not playing with himself. 214 00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,568 If you don't want to have a baby, don't. 215 00:12:23,642 --> 00:12:27,100 But I want to have a child with Turk more than anything in the world. 216 00:12:27,179 --> 00:12:29,340 It's crazy, but I'm a girl. It's how we roll. 217 00:12:29,448 --> 00:12:30,415 [Elevator beeps] 218 00:12:30,516 --> 00:12:33,076 What am I gonna do? I'm supposed to be the brave one. 219 00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:34,983 Dude, you gotta help me out. 220 00:12:35,054 --> 00:12:38,490 [J.D.] A hospital can sometimes feel like a magical place, 221 00:12:38,557 --> 00:12:41,856 where people's hopes and dreams are often far from ordinary. 222 00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:44,020 [Chorus bops theme from The Wizard of Oz] 223 00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:48,465 Whether they're looking for brains, a heart or courage. 224 00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:51,503 [Continue bopping] 225 00:12:51,570 --> 00:12:55,506 As for me, I was just gonna keep on following that yellow line, 226 00:12:55,574 --> 00:12:58,270 and hope I'd eventually get back home. 227 00:12:58,344 --> 00:13:00,471 [Bopping continues] 228 00:13:10,055 --> 00:13:12,080 - So how was the zoo? - It was awesome. 229 00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:16,288 They had lions and tigers and bears. Oh, my! Hey there. 230 00:13:16,362 --> 00:13:19,525 Dude, it was awful. I couldn't stop lying to them. 231 00:13:19,598 --> 00:13:25,559 I only have two moves. If surgery goes well, the fake modest nod and wink. 232 00:13:25,671 --> 00:13:28,105 Now, if surgery goes bad and the guy dies, 233 00:13:28,174 --> 00:13:31,337 there's always the head-shake, sad walk-away. 234 00:13:31,443 --> 00:13:34,537 - Turk, Toto and I are going home. - Fine! 235 00:13:39,718 --> 00:13:41,879 - OK, I'll help. - Thank you. 236 00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:44,751 How do I tell these people they should let their son go? 237 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:47,258 Try and imagine what they're going through. 238 00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:49,886 I think about what it's gonna be like when you die. 239 00:13:49,962 --> 00:13:52,294 You think I'm going first due to my diabetes. 240 00:13:52,364 --> 00:13:54,195 Right. Where do we meet up in heaven? 241 00:13:54,266 --> 00:13:56,996 At the milk shake pool on the lesbian cloud. 242 00:13:57,069 --> 00:14:00,300 I'll see you there, player! I love religion. 243 00:14:00,372 --> 00:14:02,533 If someone tried to pull the plug on you 244 00:14:02,641 --> 00:14:05,303 without being honest, you know where they'd end up? 245 00:14:05,377 --> 00:14:06,742 Hell, watching The View. 246 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:09,679 Next to the super-high, unreachable cupcake table. 247 00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:14,553 [J.D.] After trying to get out of the hospital vertically, 248 00:14:14,653 --> 00:14:18,350 I decided to go the horizontal route, hiding in a body bag. 249 00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:21,953 - [J.D.] Can you press "lobby" please? - [Screams] 250 00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:25,053 - [Clanking] - [J.D. Screams] 251 00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:27,394 Doug! Why are you hitting me? 252 00:14:27,466 --> 00:14:29,764 I thought you were dead, coming back to life! 253 00:14:30,402 --> 00:14:34,361 - Then why were you hitting me? - Dead people should be dead! 254 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,408 - There you are! Come on. - No, no! 255 00:14:36,475 --> 00:14:39,638 Elliot, I'm not even supposed to be here today! I'm going home! 256 00:14:40,679 --> 00:14:43,443 So if I understand correctly, you left my only child 257 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:46,518 with a creepy, borderline psychotic who hates everyone. 258 00:14:46,585 --> 00:14:48,883 That's different from leaving him with you? 259 00:14:48,954 --> 00:14:52,617 - I have freckles. - Oil can. Oil can! 260 00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,994 - Thank you. - Hey, you. Where's my son? 261 00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:59,428 He's playing with the birds out on the ledge. 262 00:14:59,531 --> 00:15:01,465 - [Gasps] What?! - I'm kidding! 263 00:15:01,533 --> 00:15:03,558 Come on. He's green. 264 00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:06,560 [Laughs] 265 00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:10,633 Come on. 266 00:15:10,709 --> 00:15:12,802 The little nipper got ahold of a paint gun 267 00:15:12,878 --> 00:15:15,642 when I was painting this line to the smokers' lounge. 268 00:15:15,714 --> 00:15:17,545 Thanks to him, I got halfway down. 269 00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:25,218 You look familiar. You ever play ball in Pennsylvania? 270 00:15:26,625 --> 00:15:28,388 Pepe? 271 00:15:40,806 --> 00:15:43,969 Mr. Bolger, look, before you throw me out of here... 272 00:15:44,977 --> 00:15:48,344 I just want to apologize about earlier. 273 00:15:48,414 --> 00:15:50,348 I don't know what I was thinking. 274 00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:53,044 But rest assured, from here on out, 275 00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:56,645 whatever you ask me, I'll be completely honest with you. 276 00:15:56,722 --> 00:16:01,819 Do you shave your head because you like the way it looks or you're going bald? 277 00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:03,862 Bald. 278 00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:06,020 OK, next question. 279 00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:10,262 Those topical treatments... Let's just say I wasn't completely functional. 280 00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:16,330 Why are all the surgical residents being so relentless about my son's heart? 281 00:16:16,408 --> 00:16:20,105 Because whichever one of us convinces you to pull the plug 282 00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:24,946 and donate his heart gets to assist in the transplant. 283 00:16:25,050 --> 00:16:27,712 You're talking about my son here. 284 00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:30,645 And you don't even know him. 285 00:16:31,623 --> 00:16:33,147 What's his name? 286 00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:36,350 Ray. 287 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,695 How you doing, Ray? 288 00:16:43,402 --> 00:16:45,893 Now ask me if I think it's the right thing to do, 289 00:16:45,971 --> 00:16:49,065 even if you request that I don't assist. 290 00:16:50,642 --> 00:16:51,802 Do you? 291 00:16:53,479 --> 00:16:55,208 Yes. 292 00:16:58,150 --> 00:16:59,879 I'm really sorry. 293 00:17:09,228 --> 00:17:11,526 There is no way I'm gonna pull this off! 294 00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:13,861 I'm going to have a roomful of specialists 295 00:17:13,932 --> 00:17:17,493 firing questions at me. I'm gonna be a bigger fraud than Barry Bonds! 296 00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:21,039 You know he's an athlete of some kind. Just say something general. 297 00:17:21,106 --> 00:17:24,598 Still, I love it when Bonds wins at the game that he plays. 298 00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:27,743 You know how people become specialists? 299 00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:30,782 They obsess about the material over and over again 300 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,748 until it's lodged in their brains. 301 00:17:32,818 --> 00:17:35,343 That's exactly what you've been doing. Watch. 302 00:17:35,421 --> 00:17:38,151 Where's the closest page you've hidden around here? 303 00:17:39,158 --> 00:17:41,058 You are good! 304 00:17:41,126 --> 00:17:42,286 All right, look. 305 00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:45,420 What's the leading differential in an obese woman 306 00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:47,931 suffering from amenorrhea and hirsutism? 307 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:51,766 Polycystic ovaries. Oh, my God. I knew it! Up here! 308 00:17:55,674 --> 00:17:57,141 Dr. Cox? 309 00:17:58,377 --> 00:18:01,039 Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. 310 00:18:03,449 --> 00:18:05,974 Why aren't you freaking out? Look at him. 311 00:18:06,051 --> 00:18:07,951 Your kid's all green and slimy. 312 00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:10,580 I suppose it's because, when Jordan was pregnant, 313 00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:13,124 I mentally prepared myself for her giving birth 314 00:18:13,192 --> 00:18:15,683 to something green and... slimy. 315 00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:20,095 - Where is Jordan anyway? - The wicked witch of the east wing? 316 00:18:20,165 --> 00:18:23,999 Help! I'm melting in here! 317 00:18:24,069 --> 00:18:28,130 Anyone! Help! I'm melting! 318 00:18:28,207 --> 00:18:30,937 So he's green. Don't beat yourself up, Carla. 319 00:18:31,009 --> 00:18:33,842 Come on. So far, on my watch, he's gotten stitches, 320 00:18:33,912 --> 00:18:36,881 cut his own hair and eaten over four dollars in change. 321 00:18:37,549 --> 00:18:40,382 Honestly, if I ever need to feed the parking meter, 322 00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:43,012 I just check the diaper, don't I? 323 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,420 You don't understand. 324 00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:48,187 I didn't dump him on the Janitor because I was busy. 325 00:18:48,260 --> 00:18:50,888 I dumped him because he was working my last nerve 326 00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:53,898 and I wanted to smush his face. 327 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:56,025 I'm not meant for this. 328 00:18:56,101 --> 00:18:59,798 Carla, look at me and Jordan. You know how we hate everyone? 329 00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:01,339 Yeah. 330 00:19:01,406 --> 00:19:03,533 Well, that goes doubly for children. 331 00:19:03,609 --> 00:19:06,134 True. They're loud, you can't understand them, 332 00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:08,270 they're like tiny cab drivers. 333 00:19:09,948 --> 00:19:12,109 But trust me, 334 00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:14,948 when you do have your own kid, 335 00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:17,181 you won't feel that way. 336 00:19:17,256 --> 00:19:19,724 Yeah? What'll be different? 337 00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:22,793 He'll be yours. 338 00:19:25,364 --> 00:19:28,026 [Chatter on TV] 339 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,698 - [TV off] - I was watching that. 340 00:19:32,771 --> 00:19:34,932 Why don't I just tell you what happened? 341 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:38,271 Philip gets Webster the dog despite George's objections. 342 00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:39,867 It was good. Now, on your feet. 343 00:19:39,945 --> 00:19:42,846 They need you in the OR to assist on the heart transplant. 344 00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:46,144 The Bolgers said yes? 345 00:19:46,218 --> 00:19:48,743 Mr. Bolger wanted you to have this. 346 00:19:50,789 --> 00:19:53,485 - His son's driver's license? - Turn it over. 347 00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:58,292 [J.D.] Every so often, a wizard comes to tell you what you need to hear. 348 00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:01,332 Seems like you had a heart all along. 349 00:20:04,670 --> 00:20:06,501 - Superior vena cava? - Right. 350 00:20:06,572 --> 00:20:07,664 Yes! 351 00:20:07,739 --> 00:20:11,106 See? You had the brains all along. 352 00:20:13,712 --> 00:20:14,940 Trust me, Carla. 353 00:20:15,013 --> 00:20:17,174 When you do have your own kid, 354 00:20:17,282 --> 00:20:21,116 you're gonna find you had the courage to be a parent all along. 355 00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:25,847 Thank you. 356 00:20:25,991 --> 00:20:29,654 [Chorus] # Ooh, ooh, ooh 357 00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:32,492 # Ooh, ooh, ooh 358 00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:35,294 # Somewhere 359 00:20:35,367 --> 00:20:38,530 # Over the rainbow 360 00:20:39,638 --> 00:20:42,402 # Way up high 361 00:20:42,507 --> 00:20:44,031 # Ooh 362 00:20:44,109 --> 00:20:47,203 # There's a land 363 00:20:47,279 --> 00:20:50,043 # That I've heard of once 364 00:20:50,148 --> 00:20:54,608 # In a lullaby 365 00:20:55,454 --> 00:20:57,422 # By-hi-hi 366 00:20:57,489 --> 00:21:00,856 # Someday I'll wish upon a star 367 00:21:00,959 --> 00:21:04,827 # Wake up where the clouds are far behind 368 00:21:06,531 --> 00:21:08,897 # Me-e-e-e 369 00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:12,164 # Where troubles melt like lemon-drops 370 00:21:12,237 --> 00:21:14,705 # High above the chimney tops 371 00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:20,473 # That's where you'll find me 372 00:21:20,545 --> 00:21:23,571 # Somewhere 373 00:21:23,649 --> 00:21:26,618 # Over the rainbow 374 00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:30,755 # Bluebirds fly 375 00:21:33,425 --> 00:21:37,384 # Birds fly over the rainbow 376 00:21:37,462 --> 00:21:41,023 # Why, then, oh, why can't... 377 00:21:41,099 --> 00:21:44,193 - Dorothy, you're going home, are you? - Yup. 378 00:21:45,671 --> 00:21:48,936 # If happy little bluebirds fly 379 00:21:49,007 --> 00:21:51,168 # Beyond the rainbow 380 00:21:51,276 --> 00:21:54,177 # Why, oh, why 381 00:21:54,813 --> 00:21:57,179 # Can't 382 00:21:57,916 --> 00:22:01,477 # I 383 00:22:01,787 --> 00:22:06,121 [chorus] # Ooh 384 00:22:06,191 --> 00:22:10,855 # Ooh ooh ooh ooh #