1
00:00:01,101 --> 00:00:03,934
[Drums playing]
2
00:00:11,711 --> 00:00:12,837
What's going on?
3
00:00:12,912 --> 00:00:15,881
Ted and I are putting together
an air band for that contest.
4
00:00:15,982 --> 00:00:19,349
Someone's gotta win those water park
tickets. Might as well be us.
5
00:00:19,419 --> 00:00:23,378
Lloyd, slammin' solo, but I have to ask,
how's things with the drug problem?
6
00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:25,651
Three days sober.
7
00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:26,919
Excellence.
8
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,587
OK. We'll be in touch.
9
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:31,994
[Cymbal crash]
10
00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:37,594
Well, Mrs. Nickels,
it was an honor being your doctor.
11
00:00:37,670 --> 00:00:40,036
Oh, you're such a nice young man.
12
00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:43,109
I'd love to set you up
with my grandniece.
13
00:00:43,176 --> 00:00:45,736
Oh, thank you.
I'm not big on blind dates.
14
00:00:45,845 --> 00:00:49,406
I know, I haven't hit it in a while,
but there's good reason for that.
15
00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:51,814
Two good reasons:
His face and personality.
16
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:54,820
Sticks and stones
may break my bones...
17
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:57,550
[J.D.] But words will hurt forever.
18
00:00:57,624 --> 00:00:59,785
Anyway, for me
to be set up with your niece,
19
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,724
I'd need to know a lot more about her.
20
00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:03,763
She's single.
21
00:01:05,665 --> 00:01:08,031
[J.D.] My blind date
should be here any second.
22
00:01:08,134 --> 00:01:10,830
I gotta thank Mrs. Nickels
for setting this up.
23
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:21,309
Oh, Mrs. Nickels, you blue-haired bitch.
24
00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:23,315
Wait. She's veering off.
25
00:01:23,383 --> 00:01:25,351
Phew!
26
00:01:32,358 --> 00:01:38,024
OK, Mrs. Nickels. Your new hip is on
the house because this girl is amazing.
27
00:01:39,132 --> 00:01:43,034
And yet there's something
so accessible about her.
28
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:45,071
I wonder what it is.
29
00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:47,299
- Oh!
- [Crashing]
30
00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:50,675
Ooh, I'm gonna have the carrot cake.
31
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:53,702
[J.D.] So she was a bit of a klutz.
32
00:01:54,714 --> 00:01:57,274
Did you see that? Please say no.
33
00:01:57,383 --> 00:01:58,611
No.
34
00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:02,018
[J.D.] From that moment on,
it was the greatest date ever.
35
00:02:02,088 --> 00:02:04,249
We had so much in common.
36
00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:08,090
I ride a scooter, I love Harry Potter
so much I sometimes wish I was a wizard
37
00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:10,253
and I've hated sports since I was a kid.
38
00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:14,289
Me too! Do you ever, like,
drift off and have weird fantasies?
39
00:02:18,538 --> 00:02:19,869
Sometimes.
40
00:02:19,939 --> 00:02:22,908
So do you want me to see
if they'll give us some more coffee
41
00:02:23,009 --> 00:02:24,840
or do you want
to just call it a night?
42
00:02:24,911 --> 00:02:27,880
[J.D.] And then she gave
the world's best answer.
43
00:02:27,947 --> 00:02:29,380
Neither.
44
00:02:31,518 --> 00:02:33,452
[Door opens]
45
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,545
[EIliot] J.D., you home?
46
00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:38,591
My roommate. Back in one second.
47
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,760
So I guess your date sucked, huh?
48
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,193
[Laughs]
49
00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:46,323
Why don't you ask her
if our date sucked? She's in my room.
50
00:02:46,399 --> 00:02:48,959
Twenty bucks says you blow it
in five minutes.
51
00:02:49,068 --> 00:02:52,037
Unlikely,
'cause what's waiting for me in my room
52
00:02:52,138 --> 00:02:56,438
is what's known
in football terms as a slam dunk.
53
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:59,273
One Mississippi. Two Mississippi...
54
00:02:59,379 --> 00:03:01,939
It's late. I gotta get going.
I have a dog and a fish.
55
00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:05,745
I have to feed them and walk them
and stuff. I'm Julie. Hi.
56
00:03:05,818 --> 00:03:07,911
I was Elliot.
57
00:03:07,987 --> 00:03:10,751
Twenty bucks, please.
58
00:03:10,823 --> 00:03:14,691
OK, double or nothing. I'll bet you I
can jump from this couch to the counter.
59
00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:18,128
Check it. Eagle!
60
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,893
Ugh! Ah! Oh!
61
00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:21,729
Pay me in the morning.
62
00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:26,068
# I can't do this all on my own
63
00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:29,905
# No, I know
I'm no Superman
64
00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:35,042
# I'm no Superman #
65
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:40,713
Why would Julie just take off like that?
I'll bet you my body intimidated her.
66
00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:43,620
That's it. I am selling
that Bowflex on Craigslist.
67
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:47,456
I'm sure you said something that sucked
all the romance out of the moment.
68
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:50,120
You used to do that all the time
when we were dating.
69
00:03:50,196 --> 00:03:51,493
Like when?
70
00:03:53,366 --> 00:03:57,302
Are you getting thicker?
You feel a little thicker.
71
00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:58,428
What?
72
00:03:58,504 --> 00:04:01,268
Fine, I may have told her
that she smells like my mom.
73
00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:03,673
Which, by the way,
I maintain is a compliment.
74
00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:04,710
[EIliot sighs]
75
00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:07,780
- What are you talking about?
- Well, J.D. Has this...
76
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:08,847
Already bored.
77
00:04:09,782 --> 00:04:13,946
Oh! Look! Will you say goodbye to Jack?
I have to drop him off at preschool.
78
00:04:14,053 --> 00:04:15,782
Oh...
79
00:04:15,855 --> 00:04:17,413
Bye, little man.
80
00:04:17,523 --> 00:04:22,256
Uh, Perry, this is your son,
not a rescued pit bull. Give him a kiss.
81
00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:24,990
Jordan, he's starting to look like a guy
82
00:04:25,064 --> 00:04:27,362
and I'm just not
real big on kissing guys.
83
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:29,401
When my father showed me affection,
84
00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:32,029
he would miss
when he threw bottles at my head.
85
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:36,371
You are gonna be a much better dad
than your dad was.
86
00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:39,570
Now give him a proper goodbye.
87
00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:42,171
Son, always a pleasure.
88
00:04:42,248 --> 00:04:44,716
- No more kissing!
- Wh...?
89
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:46,149
You're crazy!
90
00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:48,881
That's right. He is.
91
00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:53,892
I don't understand.
Why wouldn't you kiss him?
92
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,689
[Singsong] Stay out of it, Carla.
93
00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:58,230
- Stay out of what?
- Dr. Cox won't kiss his son.
94
00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,663
What is wrong with you?
95
00:04:59,732 --> 00:05:02,496
Ladies, hate to disappoint,
but my quota for women
96
00:05:02,568 --> 00:05:06,004
who bug the bejesus out of me
has been met for the next billion years.
97
00:05:06,072 --> 00:05:09,769
Now, Mrs. Wilk, you have developed
an allergy to melphalan.
98
00:05:09,842 --> 00:05:13,801
I've come up with a new regimen that
will enable us to continue treatment.
99
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,575
OK.
100
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:18,708
Oh, I think he described
all the extra effort he put in
101
00:05:18,785 --> 00:05:21,310
so you would tell him
what an amazing doctor he is.
102
00:05:21,387 --> 00:05:23,753
Now you've told me,
it won't sound sincere.
103
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:24,983
He won't care.
104
00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:27,720
Dr. Cox, you're amazing.
105
00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:29,284
It's just my job.
106
00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:34,525
[# Loverboy: Workin' For The Weekend]
107
00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:48,707
[Music stops]
108
00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:53,377
Well, uh, thanks for coming
to the audition in costume.
109
00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:54,818
What costume?
110
00:05:54,887 --> 00:05:57,651
[Turk laughing]
111
00:05:57,724 --> 00:05:59,487
Somethin' funny?
112
00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:05,090
Dude, I just came up with the perfect
name for your band: Mercy Flush.
113
00:06:08,401 --> 00:06:10,665
Do you think this is easy?
114
00:06:12,238 --> 00:06:14,297
[# Bell Biv DeVoe: Poison]
115
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:35,084
[Lip-syncing]
116
00:06:57,650 --> 00:07:00,585
I don't know what it is,
but he's got it.
117
00:07:01,954 --> 00:07:04,320
- He's going to be trouble.
- I know.
118
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,821
But he's so damn talented.
119
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,265
[J.D.] I convinced Julie to meet me
120
00:07:16,335 --> 00:07:19,634
by explaining that my comment
was a simple miscommunication.
121
00:07:19,705 --> 00:07:24,438
I wasn't saying you smelled like my mom.
I was saying you smelled like Mu-Mum.
122
00:07:24,510 --> 00:07:28,469
It's an exotic flower that's indigenous
to the hills of Costa Rica.
123
00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:31,072
God, I feel so stupid.
124
00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:33,050
Hugsies.
125
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:34,882
[J.D.] Oh, Mommy.
126
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:36,251
- See you later.
- Yes.
127
00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:37,687
- OK.
- [Keys jingle]
128
00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:39,451
Oh, gosh. [laughs]
129
00:07:40,860 --> 00:07:43,158
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, gosh! Oh, here.
130
00:07:43,229 --> 00:07:45,094
[Both yelling]
131
00:07:45,164 --> 00:07:48,190
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!
I am so, so sorry.
132
00:07:48,267 --> 00:07:50,599
- Oh, no, it happens.
- It does. It happens.
133
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:52,570
Bye.
134
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,505
Isn't she great?
135
00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:59,944
So you got the second date. Just don't
repeat the mistakes you made with me.
136
00:08:00,012 --> 00:08:03,038
Don't speed down the road
and pretend your brakes are out.
137
00:08:03,115 --> 00:08:05,640
I don't care if it got you laid
once in high school.
138
00:08:05,718 --> 00:08:09,279
It is not funny and I still have not
forgiven you for killing that pony.
139
00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:11,414
But most importantly,
140
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:15,052
if you ever find yourself
in a romantic situation again,
141
00:08:15,127 --> 00:08:17,493
ignore whatever pops into your head.
142
00:08:17,563 --> 00:08:20,794
Just look into her eyes
and say these exact words:
143
00:08:20,867 --> 00:08:24,564
"I'm so glad I found you."
144
00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:28,767
Telling me what to say. Next you'll
tell me how to kiss. Where does it end?
145
00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:37,774
You are such a good kisser, J.D.
146
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:39,147
Hmm. Right back at you.
147
00:08:39,218 --> 00:08:42,710
And I love that you're calling me J.D.
148
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,788
Stay away from my girlfriend, Elliot.
149
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:49,828
And stay away from my J.D. Wigs!
150
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:54,461
Dr. Cox, could you help me
with a central line?
151
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,094
Fine, Lonnie, but hand to God,
152
00:08:57,169 --> 00:08:59,433
if you so much as look
at me for the next month,
153
00:08:59,505 --> 00:09:02,201
I will mummify your head
in surgical tape.
154
00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:03,970
Thank you, Dr. Cox.
155
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:08,104
Is he gone? No. Hello?
156
00:09:08,915 --> 00:09:12,282
Mrs. London, this is Dr. Cox.
He's going to be your doctor.
157
00:09:12,351 --> 00:09:16,515
Good news. Your intestinal bleeding
can be fixed with a very simple surgery.
158
00:09:16,622 --> 00:09:19,591
Surgery? I'm a Jehovah's Witness.
159
00:09:19,692 --> 00:09:21,455
I can't get a transfusion.
160
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:25,122
We believe that blood should
not be passed from person to person.
161
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:28,962
I'm a doctor.
And we believe that without surgery,
162
00:09:29,035 --> 00:09:33,062
a patient in your condition can suffer
from a major case of deadness.
163
00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:36,108
Don't worry, he'll figure out
another way to treat you.
164
00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:39,369
[Laughing] No, he won't.
165
00:09:40,112 --> 00:09:42,546
I'm having so much fun
hanging out with you.
166
00:09:42,615 --> 00:09:44,947
Can you believe we've
been talking two hours?
167
00:09:45,017 --> 00:09:47,679
- Seriously?
- Nah, while you were in the bathroom,
168
00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:51,018
I set the clock two hours ahead
so you'd think time was flying by.
169
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:54,389
Really? While I was in the bathroom,
I wrote my name in the mirror
170
00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:57,429
with my finger so next time
you took a shower and it fogged,
171
00:09:57,496 --> 00:10:00,056
you'd think ghosts
were telling you to be with me.
172
00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:04,228
[J.D.] Looking at her, I knew what
the future held for Julie and me.
173
00:10:04,303 --> 00:10:07,636
[# Five for Fighting: 100 Years]
174
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,038
Smile.
175
00:10:12,044 --> 00:10:13,739
Oh, God, this mask is hot.
176
00:10:18,017 --> 00:10:19,882
Thanks for doing that.
177
00:10:24,256 --> 00:10:26,281
I wanted a picture of us old,
you know?
178
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:29,726
That way if one of us dies
in a tragic skiing accident,
179
00:10:29,829 --> 00:10:32,161
we'll always have
that memory of us together.
180
00:10:32,231 --> 00:10:34,199
That's so sweet.
181
00:10:35,401 --> 00:10:37,301
So, what do you want to do now?
182
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:40,339
[J.D.] OK, romance is in the air.
You gotta say something.
183
00:10:40,439 --> 00:10:43,203
Tell her about the hit-and-run.
No, she loves ponies.
184
00:10:43,275 --> 00:10:46,836
Ask if she's been tested. Why are
these thoughts popping into my head?
185
00:10:46,912 --> 00:10:50,643
My God, look at the size of her feet.
Tell her. Stop it!
186
00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:52,684
OK, the silence has gone on too long.
187
00:10:52,785 --> 00:10:55,811
Say that thing Elliot told you,
even though it's stupid.
188
00:10:55,888 --> 00:10:57,822
I'm really glad I found you.
189
00:11:02,762 --> 00:11:05,595
[Hard rock song ends]
190
00:11:06,699 --> 00:11:09,327
Yes! That was very tight.
191
00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:12,894
Well, it seems I've stumbled
into the "time well spent" ward.
192
00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:14,837
Back in your cage, Ted.
193
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,339
- [Growls]
- [Instrument crashing]
194
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,537
Oh, God. What have I done?
195
00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:23,571
Turkelton, I need you to volunteer
to speak at a critical care conference.
196
00:11:23,649 --> 00:11:25,776
Yeah, I don't see that happening, Bobby.
197
00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:26,875
Excuse me?
198
00:11:26,952 --> 00:11:29,512
It's not like
you're the king around here.
199
00:11:31,057 --> 00:11:32,490
[J.D. Sighs]
200
00:11:32,558 --> 00:11:33,923
'Morning, Elliot.
201
00:11:33,993 --> 00:11:37,656
By the way, Julie's here.
I'm not gonna kiss and tell.
202
00:11:37,730 --> 00:11:41,393
Oh, really? 'Cause I just got
your text that said "bone city."
203
00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:43,833
Oh, really? That came through?
204
00:11:43,936 --> 00:11:45,904
[J.D.] When you care about something,
205
00:11:45,971 --> 00:11:48,235
the last thing you want
is it to be taken away.
206
00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:50,070
Whether it's a newfound hobby...
207
00:11:50,142 --> 00:11:51,507
Why'd you want to see me?
208
00:11:51,577 --> 00:11:53,272
Quick announcement, people.
209
00:11:53,345 --> 00:11:58,112
From this moment on, there will be
no air-banding allowed in the hospital.
210
00:11:59,952 --> 00:12:02,386
The king has spoken.
211
00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:04,946
[Imitating Elvis] Thank you very much.
212
00:12:05,024 --> 00:12:07,652
[J.D.]... or the image of someone
you looked up to.
213
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,752
So, come on, tell me.
214
00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:12,525
What are you going to do
with our Jehovah's Witness?
215
00:12:12,598 --> 00:12:14,361
I'm not gonna do anything.
216
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:16,731
[Carla] So, what's going to happen?
217
00:12:16,802 --> 00:12:20,238
I would say she's probably going to die.
218
00:12:24,343 --> 00:12:27,073
[J.D.] As for me,
all I lost was my pride.
219
00:12:27,146 --> 00:12:31,913
Hey, Elliot. Oh, J.D.?
I'm glad I found you too.
220
00:12:33,385 --> 00:12:35,148
Well, that sounds familiar.
221
00:12:35,221 --> 00:12:38,088
- [Julie shouting]
- [Crashing]
222
00:12:39,525 --> 00:12:41,789
I think there's a tchotchke in my bum.
223
00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:43,624
[Gasping]
224
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:48,857
[J.D.] So I had
to use Elliot's advice with Julie.
225
00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:50,902
Luckily, she's not great at gloating.
226
00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:53,871
Ha-ha, you had sex with
a beautiful girl you really like.
227
00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:55,804
Sometimes she needs a little help.
228
00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:59,811
You probably meant to say if it weren't
for you, I'd still be dating my laptop.
229
00:12:59,879 --> 00:13:02,814
Right! In your face! [laughs]
230
00:13:02,882 --> 00:13:04,213
[Whispers] Thank you.
231
00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:07,150
I like Julie,
so don't do that thing you always do.
232
00:13:07,219 --> 00:13:10,279
If you're referring
to the game Find the Saltine, relax.
233
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:12,119
I don't even play that with Turk.
234
00:13:12,191 --> 00:13:15,160
No, I am talking about
how you go a million miles an hour
235
00:13:15,227 --> 00:13:18,492
the minute you fall for someone.
Don't go quickly or like I said,
236
00:13:18,564 --> 00:13:20,589
you'll end up with a beautiful girl.
237
00:13:20,666 --> 00:13:24,534
- Dating my laptop.
- Dating your laptop. Thank you.
238
00:13:28,107 --> 00:13:30,007
I knew he'd be trouble.
239
00:13:30,075 --> 00:13:32,202
Hey, come on now.
We're still a band, huh?
240
00:13:32,278 --> 00:13:34,769
Let's bring it in. Cool cats on three.
241
00:13:34,847 --> 00:13:37,577
- One, two, three:
- [All] Cool cats!
242
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,015
Let's roll.
243
00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:43,780
When Mrs. Wilk was allergic to
melphalan, you found a way around it.
244
00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:45,915
Why aren't you doing the same?
245
00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:49,324
Because Mrs. Wilk didn't choose
to have her allergy, so...
246
00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:52,853
Wait, there's a young man behind you
with a quick medical question.
247
00:13:52,932 --> 00:13:54,957
[Jordan] Will you kiss me?
248
00:13:56,969 --> 00:13:58,436
Leaving.
249
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:01,530
You know, you're eventually
gonna have to kiss your boy.
250
00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:04,167
And you will have
to treat that Jehovah's Witness.
251
00:14:04,243 --> 00:14:06,404
God, elevator.
252
00:14:08,113 --> 00:14:12,345
He's got my back, even if
I don't technically believe in him.
253
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,285
Behind your ear.
254
00:14:16,388 --> 00:14:18,754
My friend, you have found the Saltine.
255
00:14:20,159 --> 00:14:22,218
Don't tell Elliot
we're still playing.
256
00:14:22,294 --> 00:14:26,060
[J.D.] Why do I care what Elliot thinks?
She's not right about everything.
257
00:14:26,165 --> 00:14:28,133
I'm not gonna go too fast with Julie.
258
00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:32,162
[# Fountains of Wayne: Hey Julie]
259
00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:40,536
[J.D.] Ooh, land for sale.
260
00:15:44,410 --> 00:15:47,243
Dr. Kelso, I'll go to that conference.
261
00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:49,679
Turkelton,
I have many more pressing issues,
262
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:51,943
starting with a gigantic paralyzed wife,
263
00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:55,180
ending with a gay son who's
written a scathing musical about me
264
00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:59,223
called Dr. Dad, which, despite mixed
reviews, has been held over in Buffalo.
265
00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:01,987
Why don't you just do
whatever the hell you want to do.
266
00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:05,121
It was never
about you saying no to the conference.
267
00:16:05,197 --> 00:16:06,664
It's the way you said it.
268
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,764
You see that man there?
His biggest pet peeve,
269
00:16:10,836 --> 00:16:13,361
except for storing deer meat
in his mini-fridge,
270
00:16:13,439 --> 00:16:15,964
is people being disrespectful to him.
271
00:16:20,279 --> 00:16:21,803
Do you play?
272
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:31,586
- Lonnie, what are you doing?
- Since Dr. Cox won't treat Mrs. London,
273
00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:34,454
we have to transfer her
to another facility.
274
00:16:37,429 --> 00:16:41,525
All right, listen up and listen good.
I will kill anyone who tells Carla.
275
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,364
That includes you, Mrs. London.
I will save your life.
276
00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:47,166
Then I will take it away.
Let's get to work.
277
00:16:48,774 --> 00:16:52,335
Lonnie... are you looking at me again?
278
00:16:52,444 --> 00:16:54,605
No.
279
00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:01,842
Are we crazy to be thinking
about buying this?
280
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:05,549
No, it's a sound investment.
And a great addition to my portfolio.
281
00:17:05,624 --> 00:17:08,593
[J.D.] Which consists of shares
of Eastern Airlines stock
282
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:11,424
and an unopened pack
of Les Mis trading cards.
283
00:17:11,497 --> 00:17:13,522
J.D., this is a mistake.
284
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,927
You're not Broker of the Year
Whit Prowdy.
285
00:17:18,003 --> 00:17:20,528
Don't do this. You're going too fast.
286
00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:25,669
- Why should I believe you?
- Because honesty is my business.
287
00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:30,106
I hate you, Whit Prowdy.
288
00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:34,351
Sir, can I talk to you for a second?
289
00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:37,912
Just you? Or all the Turkeltones?
290
00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:43,359
We don't just rock together.
We roll together.
291
00:17:43,429 --> 00:17:44,589
[All] Cool cats.
292
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:49,061
Sir, I want to apologize
for how I spoke to you.
293
00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:50,931
It was extremely disrespectful,
294
00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:53,563
and I can promise you
it will never happen again.
295
00:17:53,672 --> 00:17:56,197
You bet your ass it won't.
296
00:17:59,478 --> 00:18:01,844
OK. So what's the deal, cranky pants?
297
00:18:01,947 --> 00:18:06,611
I am just sick and tired of having
to live up to everyone's expectations.
298
00:18:06,685 --> 00:18:10,052
Lonnie needs a central line,
you want me to help Mrs. London
299
00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:12,453
and every patient in this dump
300
00:18:12,524 --> 00:18:15,084
looks at me for some miracle cure.
301
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:19,028
I mean, honestly, Carla,
with Jehovah as my witness,
302
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,191
sometimes it is just too much.
303
00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:23,598
Yeah, yeah. I'm not buying it.
304
00:18:23,669 --> 00:18:26,638
You've been putting up with that
around here for 20 years.
305
00:18:26,705 --> 00:18:28,263
It's not just here. It's home.
306
00:18:28,373 --> 00:18:32,332
Jordan expects me
to be this amazing, sensitive father.
307
00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:34,810
So that's what this is about?
308
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:38,611
You shouldn't sweat this
"sensitive dad" stuff. You'll get there.
309
00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:40,379
You don't know anything.
310
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:44,718
Oh, really? How is it going
with your Jehovah's Witness patient?
311
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,849
Better.
312
00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:49,757
How'd you know I'd move
too fast with Julie?
313
00:18:49,828 --> 00:18:52,353
How do you know
that I can be that kind of dad?
314
00:18:52,431 --> 00:18:54,991
How'd you know Kelso
just wanted respect?
315
00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:57,365
- Because I know you.
- Because I know you.
316
00:18:57,436 --> 00:18:59,165
'Cause I know him.
317
00:18:59,238 --> 00:19:00,398
This is so cool.
318
00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:04,067
What's happening?
Dr. Cox didn't make eye holes!
319
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:07,112
[J.D.] It's important we listen
to people who know us best,
320
00:19:07,212 --> 00:19:11,478
because if you do,
you might get to rock.
321
00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:13,814
[# Boston: More Than a Feelin']
322
00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:48,617
[J.D.] You might get the confidence
to be the father you want to be.
323
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:50,585
Gimme this little boy.
324
00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:54,354
- [Mumbling]
- [Laughing]
325
00:19:54,426 --> 00:19:58,453
I love ya. I love you so much,
I'm going to make a sandwich out of you.
326
00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:02,227
- Where you going?
- "Dad's gonna devour me. See you."
327
00:20:02,301 --> 00:20:06,397
[J.D.] Sometimes, it's fun to not listen
and do whatever you want.
328
00:20:06,471 --> 00:20:08,496
So we bought it.
329
00:20:08,574 --> 00:20:13,204
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going
to go kiss my lady on my new half-acre.
330
00:20:13,278 --> 00:20:15,337
[More Than a Feelin' continues]
331
00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:32,123
She is not graceful.