1 00:00:03,036 --> 00:00:06,403 The worst thing about Elliot having picked intern, Keith, 2 00:00:06,473 --> 00:00:09,442 as her permanent booty call is that if he's had a few beers, 3 00:00:09,542 --> 00:00:12,238 he sometimes forgets which bedroom is hers. 4 00:00:12,312 --> 00:00:14,007 Mmm... 5 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:17,846 - I'm here, lover. - Tender. 6 00:00:21,654 --> 00:00:23,918 In my defense, Keith's a decent kisser, 7 00:00:23,990 --> 00:00:27,448 and anyone waking up that way would let out a pleasure moan. 8 00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:29,222 Same thing happened in college. 9 00:00:29,295 --> 00:00:32,458 What guy drunkenly kissed you while you were sleeping? 10 00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:35,695 It was that moment Turk and I remembered the incident 11 00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:38,033 we'd managed to block out for 12 years. 12 00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:39,662 You OK with us not hanging out? 13 00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:42,105 - Totally. - OK. 14 00:00:42,175 --> 00:00:45,804 I was gonna miss Turk, but my favorite intern was around to cheer me up: 15 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:49,815 Jason Cabbaggio. Or, as I had brilliantly nicknamed him... 16 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,249 - Cabbage! - Yes, sir. 17 00:00:52,318 --> 00:00:55,082 Oh, no, Mark. I was talking to Cabbage. 18 00:00:55,188 --> 00:00:57,213 Well, my last name is Cabbage. 19 00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:59,349 I know, but I nicknamed you "Wolfman" 20 00:00:59,426 --> 00:01:02,327 because of your keen sense of smell. 21 00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:05,364 And your ridiculously hairy torso. 22 00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:06,625 What can I do you for? 23 00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:09,463 Dr. D, is the IV supposed to leak like this? 24 00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:12,300 Well, yes and no. Mostly no. Really, really, all no. 25 00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:16,967 Don't worry. I got your back. First thing is, take a little nipper yourself. 26 00:01:17,043 --> 00:01:20,501 Got some on you! Look out! That's some of the fun that you can have. 27 00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:23,481 But seriously, just watch and learn, watch and learn. 28 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:25,313 It's an honor to watch you work. 29 00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:28,387 Take it all in, Cabbage. Take it all in. 30 00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:31,150 Yes, I like some interns more than others, 31 00:01:31,224 --> 00:01:35,092 but I never let personal feelings affect my professional behavior. 32 00:01:35,161 --> 00:01:38,688 You're late, which doesn't surprise me because you're a bad person. 33 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,995 They needed help with a shooting victim. 34 00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:43,035 Lies will get you nowhere, Keith. 35 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:46,561 - I'm covered in his blood. - That could be anyone's blood. 36 00:01:46,639 --> 00:01:48,573 Here's the gunshot victim. 37 00:01:48,641 --> 00:01:51,201 Hey, look, my blood. 38 00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:53,245 - That's not your blood. - Yes, it is. 39 00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:55,042 Quiet time. 40 00:01:58,585 --> 00:02:02,146 All right, listen. If Mr. Burton wants surgery, call me on my cellie. 41 00:02:02,222 --> 00:02:04,053 Cool. What's your number? 42 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,854 - You have my number. - I don't. I changed phones. 43 00:02:06,926 --> 00:02:09,690 You didn't switch out old numbers into the new phone? 44 00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:13,459 Yeah, but I decided to just put a couple emergency numbers on here. 45 00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:16,795 The Butterball Turkey Helpline? 46 00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:20,197 This one just says, "That Guy In The Restaurant." 47 00:02:20,273 --> 00:02:23,037 Hey, I clicked with "That Guy In The Restaurant," OK? 48 00:02:23,109 --> 00:02:26,545 We spent all night talking about... something, OK? 49 00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:28,513 If I need you, I can just call Carla. 50 00:02:28,581 --> 00:02:30,446 It's not like the two of us hang out. 51 00:02:30,517 --> 00:02:33,645 I bet you don't have my number in your cell. 52 00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,292 Not even Keith could bum me out, 53 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:44,194 because everybody's favorite patient, Mrs. Wilk, is going home today. 54 00:02:44,264 --> 00:02:45,993 I'm sure not gonna miss this food. 55 00:02:46,065 --> 00:02:48,295 Well, the nurses and I got you this. 56 00:02:48,368 --> 00:02:50,529 - Oh! Aw... - Huh? 57 00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:53,606 You should see the size of the stationery store. 58 00:02:55,041 --> 00:02:56,975 That was a huge courtesy laugh 59 00:02:57,043 --> 00:03:01,207 because I was about to trump Carla's goodbye gift like nobody's business. 60 00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:04,982 Mrs. Wilk, I remember how much you like basketball, 61 00:03:05,051 --> 00:03:09,010 so I got you a DVD of the NBA's Greatest Centers of All Time 62 00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:11,215 signed by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. 63 00:03:11,291 --> 00:03:13,782 Oh, J.D., this is so sweet! 64 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,828 Winner! 65 00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:19,194 - My gift is in the same vein. - Oh, is it, Keith? 66 00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:22,757 Mr. Abdul-Jabbar is on my dad's flag football team. 67 00:03:22,835 --> 00:03:25,303 - Hi, Patricia. - Oh! 68 00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:28,465 That's not my signature. 69 00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:30,805 Did you sign this? It's illegal. 70 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:36,247 OK. Back to the psych ward, Mr. Rosenberg. Crazy. 71 00:03:37,584 --> 00:03:40,951 # I can't do this all on my own 72 00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:44,387 # No, I know I'm no Superman 73 00:03:47,827 --> 00:03:49,795 # I'm no Superman # 74 00:03:51,864 --> 00:03:54,230 That morning seemed like any other. 75 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:57,997 Dr. Mickhead was back, having beaten the rap on murdering his spouse... 76 00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,403 Anybody want a cool prison jumpsuit? 77 00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:05,605 Dr. Kelso was having his daily staring contest 78 00:04:05,678 --> 00:04:09,114 with the last double-chocolate-chocolate-chip muffin. 79 00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:11,616 Let's end this charade. 80 00:04:11,684 --> 00:04:14,983 You win again. You always do. 81 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,458 - Mmm... 82 00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:30,066 Would someone explain what that bird is doing in my hospital? 83 00:04:30,136 --> 00:04:33,105 Sanchez appears to be flying, sir. 84 00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:36,767 I've named him Sanchez. He set up shop in that old wreath there. 85 00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:40,506 I'd take it down, but the patients really seem to love the little guy. 86 00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:45,142 That disease-infested scavenger is a serious health risk. 87 00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:46,185 No. 88 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,379 Do you know the number one cause of death? 89 00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:49,944 - Your breath? - Infection. 90 00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:53,083 And do you know how quickly infection spreads in a hospital? 91 00:04:53,159 --> 00:04:55,286 - Your breath? - That doesn't make sense. 92 00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:56,453 Don't care. 93 00:04:56,529 --> 00:05:00,659 Look, infection can start with a simple sneeze. 94 00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,567 And then a handshake. 95 00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:10,235 Perhaps an accidental collision. 96 00:05:14,013 --> 00:05:16,481 Then a simple touch on the shoulder. 97 00:05:18,785 --> 00:05:22,016 And just like that, you have a patient in trouble. 98 00:05:23,389 --> 00:05:25,823 Chinatown is awesome! 99 00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:33,294 I want that bird gone. 100 00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:37,632 Keith, I realize you'd like to be at your grandmother's funeral on Saturday. 101 00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:38,830 Heck, we all would. 102 00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:41,669 You can't just take a day off whenever you feel like it. 103 00:05:41,741 --> 00:05:44,642 How come Cabbage got off so he could go see King Kong? 104 00:05:44,711 --> 00:05:49,045 Because Keith, Cabbage is an ape enthusiast. Show him a little. 105 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:55,453 106 00:05:56,622 --> 00:05:58,590 It's like I'm at the zoo. 107 00:05:59,892 --> 00:06:03,123 Put the thing in your mouth when you... Yeah. 108 00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:07,025 See ya, Mrs. Wilk. 109 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,863 I'm gonna miss you. 110 00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:11,198 I'm gonna miss our late-night talks. 111 00:06:11,270 --> 00:06:13,602 You can call me anytime you want, sweetie. 112 00:06:13,673 --> 00:06:16,836 Got your number right here in my... phone. Sorry. 113 00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:20,106 Don't even worry about it. It's OK. 114 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,272 - We are so not cool. - We're not? 115 00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:25,647 Why are you making such a big deal out of this? It was a simple... 116 00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:28,209 La-la-la-la-la-la... 117 00:06:28,921 --> 00:06:32,254 Mr. Burton, hi! 118 00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:36,022 In a few minutes, they'll come to get you for aortobifem bypass surgery. 119 00:06:36,095 --> 00:06:38,757 If there's anything we can do for you, let us know. 120 00:06:39,632 --> 00:06:45,195 Well, if I don't make it, I want you to make sure my sons get this note. 121 00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:47,203 - Done. - Done. 122 00:06:47,273 --> 00:06:48,934 123 00:06:57,183 --> 00:06:58,912 I can't believe you fell for that. 124 00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:02,216 Why would that call have been for you? It's my cell phone. 125 00:07:04,056 --> 00:07:05,216 You got my "1" button? 126 00:07:06,392 --> 00:07:09,828 Hey! Now I can't call my buddies in Saigon. 127 00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:13,923 Touché. What else can you do? 128 00:07:18,304 --> 00:07:20,932 Could I borrow five bucks? I left my wallet at home. 129 00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:23,237 What do you need $5 for? Abraham Lincoln... 130 00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:25,470 Abraham Lincoln is your president crush 131 00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:28,378 or because Woolworths is having a 48-hour girdle sale? 132 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:31,611 There, I did it for you. Don't talk with your mouth full. 133 00:07:31,684 --> 00:07:34,551 - All I have are hundreds. - What are you, a prostitute? 134 00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,918 I worked the streets. I'm a prostitute? 135 00:07:36,989 --> 00:07:38,752 - Nice job. - Thanks. 136 00:07:38,858 --> 00:07:40,086 Thank you. 137 00:07:43,930 --> 00:07:47,388 Nice job, buddy. Let's go get you that hat. Mine. 138 00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:50,458 - Where's my change? - A bird took it. 139 00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:54,768 I want it back by tonight or I'm gonna beat it out of you. 140 00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:02,910 Why are you sitting here, Newbie? 141 00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:06,941 I'd sit with my interns, but Keith's over there and I can't stand him. 142 00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:08,953 I've seen that kid. Horrible doctor. 143 00:08:09,021 --> 00:08:13,048 I would sooner leave my medical care in the hands of Dr. Acula. 144 00:08:13,125 --> 00:08:16,993 Yes, I read your vampire screenplay and as much as it pains me to say it, 145 00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:20,692 I didn't hate it. Here's what you do with this Keith: 146 00:08:20,766 --> 00:08:23,599 Turn the heat up on his ass and he'll make a mistake. 147 00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,432 Then bounce him out of here. 148 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:28,167 What did you think of the Transylvania sequence? 149 00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:30,505 I wrote it on-call and the next morning, 150 00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:33,340 I read it, and I was like, "What was I thinking?" 151 00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:35,914 Bethany, focus. 152 00:08:35,982 --> 00:08:38,212 I can't just pick one of 'em out to torture. 153 00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:42,050 Then dump on all of 'em! I'm sure they deserve it. I mean, let's face facts. 154 00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:44,749 You are their teacher. How competent can they be? 155 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,955 This morning, one of 'em had trouble with an IV. 156 00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:50,894 Yesterday, one made a diagnosis off a backwards x-ray. 157 00:08:50,963 --> 00:08:55,423 Last week, one confused a suppository with a Mike and Ike. 158 00:08:55,501 --> 00:08:58,527 Stellar group there, Newbie. Let the torturing commence. 159 00:08:58,604 --> 00:09:01,232 - Oh, I'm sorry. 160 00:09:01,307 --> 00:09:04,936 That means conversational time is O-V-E-R. 161 00:09:05,011 --> 00:09:07,536 Please exit the area. Please exit the area. 162 00:09:07,613 --> 00:09:10,673 I'd love to talk to you more about the screenplay. 163 00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:13,014 Please exit the area. Please exit the area. 164 00:09:13,085 --> 00:09:15,849 Turk and Elliot were having a hard time 165 00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:18,755 because Mr. Burton didn't make it through surgery. 166 00:09:18,824 --> 00:09:20,951 We did everything we could for your dad. 167 00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:23,928 We are so sorry, Devin, Eric. 168 00:09:23,996 --> 00:09:26,294 That's Devin. I'm Eric. 169 00:09:26,365 --> 00:09:29,334 Oh, you guys must get that all the time. 170 00:09:29,435 --> 00:09:31,494 Because all black people look the same? 171 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:34,438 - Hmm. - No! Because you're identical twins. 172 00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:37,874 - Is she always this racist? - Oh, there's a pattern. 173 00:09:38,477 --> 00:09:40,411 Identical twins, Turk! 174 00:09:44,784 --> 00:09:49,483 Uh-oh, Keith, it looks like somebody's gone prematurely gray. 175 00:09:49,555 --> 00:09:52,524 That's gonna hurt with the ladies. 176 00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:54,320 Wow. 177 00:09:54,393 --> 00:09:56,827 Dr. Cox told me you were tough on your interns. 178 00:09:56,896 --> 00:10:00,525 I had no idea you were gonna go all cotton ball on their asses. 179 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,763 I think I know how to deal with people, Carla. Check this. 180 00:10:03,836 --> 00:10:05,133 Cabbage! Heat test. 181 00:10:05,571 --> 00:10:07,129 182 00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:09,464 It's a little hot. 183 00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:12,238 I'll add some milk. Thank you. 184 00:10:12,311 --> 00:10:14,279 - See? - Yeah. 185 00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:16,508 And now, it's goodbye, Keith. 186 00:10:16,582 --> 00:10:18,140 Interns, gather! 187 00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:23,483 The next person who screws up is gonna be suspended for two weeks. 188 00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:27,424 This is a list of all of your names. At least the ones I remember. 189 00:10:27,493 --> 00:10:32,021 At the end of each day, I will either write a smiley face or a sad face 190 00:10:32,098 --> 00:10:34,965 next to your name. One sad face, and you are gonzo. 191 00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:39,403 And I want to warn you, I write my sad faces pretty darn sad. 192 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,940 Allow me to demonstrate. May I borrow your pen? 193 00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:45,774 Not going to happen. I had to strangle a nurse to get this clicky top. 194 00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:48,939 Please. I'm in the middle of a very threatening speech. 195 00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:51,848 - Return this pen or die painfully. - Thank you. 196 00:10:51,917 --> 00:10:54,750 So, as I was saying, my sad face... 197 00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:57,448 Around here, it's tough to hang onto things. 198 00:10:57,523 --> 00:11:00,686 If someone's trying to take your new friend away, you lie. 199 00:11:00,793 --> 00:11:02,522 The bird's dead, sir. 200 00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:06,622 And if you're wondering, Sanchez tasted like chicken. I ate him. 201 00:11:06,699 --> 00:11:10,260 I get it. Now, just sign this order form so I can stop talking to you. 202 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:13,870 203 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:16,574 204 00:11:18,110 --> 00:11:20,135 You said our father left us a note? 205 00:11:20,212 --> 00:11:23,909 Yep. Dr. Turk, give it to them. 206 00:11:23,983 --> 00:11:27,350 Elliot, I gave it to you. You have the note. You give it to them. 207 00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:29,445 If your credibility slips away, 208 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,990 you might have to excuse yourself for a moment. 209 00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:36,791 Excuse us for just one minute, Eric, Devin. Um... 210 00:11:39,999 --> 00:11:41,159 I know it's in pencil, 211 00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:44,532 but that's what a sad two-week suspension face would look like. 212 00:11:44,603 --> 00:11:47,970 All right? Very, very sad. Yes? 213 00:11:49,809 --> 00:11:53,176 Who tried to give Ms. Meadows an ACE inhibitor? 214 00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:56,180 She's six months pregnant. She could've lost the baby. 215 00:11:56,248 --> 00:11:58,614 Sometimes, there's nothing you can do. 216 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,186 That was me, sir. Sorry. 217 00:12:02,254 --> 00:12:04,688 Oh, Cabbage. 218 00:12:04,757 --> 00:12:07,123 Not you, Wolfman. 219 00:12:08,794 --> 00:12:09,852 220 00:12:12,765 --> 00:12:17,395 I, uh... I can't believe you're finally getting out of this deathtrap. 221 00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:19,199 The odds were against you. 222 00:12:19,271 --> 00:12:24,299 You had a life-threatening disease, a life-threatening doctor. 223 00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:30,348 Anyway, it was a pleasure treating you, and... 224 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:34,443 I know how hard it is for you to say something nice, so you can go. 225 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:35,680 Thanks. 226 00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:39,216 Why the grim face there, Trish? 227 00:12:39,291 --> 00:12:43,853 You watching Kelso's afternoon staring contest with the last brownie? 228 00:12:44,663 --> 00:12:48,121 You bested me again, you little chocolate bitch. 229 00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:52,302 Nah, I'm just kind of sad about my intern. 230 00:12:52,371 --> 00:12:55,340 Why? You got what you wanted. You drove Keith out of here. 231 00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,875 No, I drove Cabbage out. That's Keith. 232 00:12:57,943 --> 00:13:00,571 That's Keith? That kid's the best intern we've got. 233 00:13:00,646 --> 00:13:03,706 I'd like to bronze him, turn my office into a Keith-edral 234 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:07,685 and convert to Keith-stianity. And FYI, I still want my pen back. 235 00:13:07,753 --> 00:13:10,722 - Oh, I don't have it. - You better find it, nubile one. 236 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,918 And when you do, I want it buffed, shined and de-nerdified. 237 00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:26,031 You think that's funny? This isn't over. 238 00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:27,867 What's not over? 239 00:13:29,008 --> 00:13:31,875 - Turk, I did not lose it. You did. - I don't lose things. 240 00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:36,040 Please, you lose everything. Sometimes I worry what you'll be like as a dad. 241 00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:39,644 We're on our way back right now. 242 00:13:39,718 --> 00:13:42,346 Junior and I just went to pick up a pumpkin. 243 00:13:44,223 --> 00:13:46,123 I'm gonna have to call you back. 244 00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:50,151 Look, somebody left a baby here. 245 00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:56,132 - Well, he is kind of cute. - Phew! 246 00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:01,264 - Our baby's first bath. - Oh, watch the head. 247 00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:02,807 248 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:10,308 What?! Come on! That was intentional! 249 00:14:10,382 --> 00:14:12,942 - Charge the mound, son! Charge the mound! 250 00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:15,543 We are so damn proud of you, son. 251 00:14:15,621 --> 00:14:18,146 My little valedictorian. 252 00:14:18,224 --> 00:14:19,486 - Ah! 253 00:14:21,126 --> 00:14:24,254 Put him back together, baby! No! 254 00:14:25,064 --> 00:14:28,124 Mom? Dad? 255 00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:31,736 Son? Son? 256 00:14:31,804 --> 00:14:36,639 Get over here, boy! You come and you give your father a hug! 257 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,370 No! 258 00:14:40,779 --> 00:14:43,077 You all right? You were gone for a long time. 259 00:14:43,148 --> 00:14:45,207 You're gonna be an awful father! 260 00:14:45,284 --> 00:14:47,718 And now to take care of my boy. 261 00:14:47,786 --> 00:14:49,447 Cabbage is back! 262 00:14:49,521 --> 00:14:51,751 Gang, I should've made it clear earlier. 263 00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:57,262 The suspension policy begins today at 4pm. So my apologies to Cabbage. 264 00:14:57,329 --> 00:15:00,355 - That's OK, Dr. D. - You get in there! 265 00:15:00,432 --> 00:15:03,299 This is totally unfair. If I had messed up, I'd be gone. 266 00:15:03,369 --> 00:15:05,098 Let me explain something to you. 267 00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:08,731 I treat each and every one of you like unique individuals, OK? 268 00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:11,742 Take Gloria, for example. The woman's 400 years old. 269 00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:14,836 She needs to sleep a lot. I work around that schedule. 270 00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:19,044 Wolfman's got to be home by daybreak, so he does all his work come nightfall. 271 00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:23,748 Crazy Barry, not allowed near children. We work around that. 272 00:15:23,822 --> 00:15:25,881 How come I don't get a nickname? 273 00:15:25,958 --> 00:15:29,121 Not everyone's last name lends itself to a nickname, Keith. 274 00:15:29,228 --> 00:15:30,957 My last name is Dudemeister. 275 00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:34,796 And what am I supposed to do with that, OK? I'm not a magician. 276 00:15:37,736 --> 00:15:41,604 Patricia, it's been a real pleasure having you here at Sacred Heart, 277 00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:45,633 and I certainly hope the next time you fall ill, you'll remember us. 278 00:15:45,711 --> 00:15:49,078 I'm not implying that you'll get ill, 279 00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:52,242 it's just that you're old and chances are good... 280 00:15:52,318 --> 00:15:53,876 Stop talking, Robert. 281 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:57,812 It's all right. I know what you meant. 282 00:16:00,926 --> 00:16:04,657 Damn it, Sanchez. I told you Dorian's in room 136. This is... 283 00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:06,357 284 00:16:06,432 --> 00:16:08,593 136. I was wrong. 285 00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:11,966 I apologize, Sanchez. You were right, as always. 286 00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:13,831 What? 287 00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:14,930 Hey, Newbie! 288 00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:22,272 Watch out for the bedpan. 289 00:16:23,248 --> 00:16:24,272 Now we're even. 290 00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:27,012 But answer me this one question, will ya, please? 291 00:16:27,086 --> 00:16:30,249 Those are beautiful antlers. 292 00:16:30,356 --> 00:16:33,621 Huh? Why is that screw-up still here? 293 00:16:33,692 --> 00:16:37,458 You see, Dr. Cox, I treat each and every one of my interns differently. 294 00:16:37,529 --> 00:16:39,394 And you're done. 295 00:16:39,465 --> 00:16:42,434 So you accidentally drummed your friend out of here 296 00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:44,867 because you were trying to 86 The Dudemeister? 297 00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:47,461 That nickname will never stick. It's too long. 298 00:16:47,539 --> 00:16:50,872 Listen carefully, Newbie. Things happen for a reason. 299 00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:54,208 Think back on all those mistakes that your interns made 300 00:16:54,279 --> 00:16:56,713 and tell me this: Who made them? 301 00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,944 Hey, Dr. D, is the IV supposed to leak like this? 302 00:17:03,489 --> 00:17:06,049 I'm not quite sure what I'm looking at here. 303 00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:12,229 Don't worry. You're gonna feel much better once I insert this suppository. 304 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,468 I don't remember who made those mistakes. 305 00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:19,060 Yeah, you do. 306 00:17:22,107 --> 00:17:26,635 OK, this sucks. But at least I didn't forge a note from a dead father. 307 00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:28,202 You guys ready? 308 00:17:29,348 --> 00:17:31,782 All right, Elliot, begin. 309 00:17:31,850 --> 00:17:33,750 "My dearest Eric. 310 00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:37,448 It is my wish for you that you finally find a good woman..." 311 00:17:37,523 --> 00:17:38,547 I'm gay. 312 00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:41,491 "...so that she might find you a man..." 313 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:42,857 Dad didn't know I was gay. 314 00:17:42,928 --> 00:17:45,362 "...so that he might find you a woman." 315 00:17:45,431 --> 00:17:48,264 I found your note in Sanchez's wreath. 316 00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:51,029 Also little furniture. Don't know where he got that. 317 00:17:51,103 --> 00:17:54,072 Sure the hell didn't make it. He didn't have the time. 318 00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:59,639 "Make sure you clean out the gutters at the lake house 319 00:17:59,711 --> 00:18:02,077 so the front porch doesn't flood"? 320 00:18:03,048 --> 00:18:05,175 Ours is better than that. 321 00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:14,091 Well, it's done. I had him stuffed. 322 00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:20,197 Terrific. 323 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,363 And he's gone. 324 00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:27,929 Wow, that was impressive, my friend. You're free to fly. 325 00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,541 Farewell, Sanchez. 326 00:18:35,347 --> 00:18:37,577 327 00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:46,388 Time to give Keith a little treat. 328 00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:51,122 Hey, Todd. My buddy, Keith, here says you're no good at rat-tailing. 329 00:18:51,196 --> 00:18:52,891 Oh, really? 330 00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:55,995 Ah! 331 00:18:57,169 --> 00:18:59,797 There! Tell him I'm good. 332 00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:02,841 Oh, he's good, Keith. Really good. 333 00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:04,933 Thanks for the warning. 334 00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,505 Hey, Dr. Dorian. 335 00:19:10,582 --> 00:19:13,642 Hey, Jason. We need to talk. 336 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:17,850 Look, you're not progressing as fast as the other interns, 337 00:19:17,923 --> 00:19:20,892 and you've been making a lot of mistakes lately. 338 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:24,952 I know what you're gonna say. I really am suspended for two weeks. 339 00:19:25,063 --> 00:19:27,623 But I promise I'll do much better when I come back. 340 00:19:27,699 --> 00:19:31,066 Yeah, about coming back... 341 00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:36,272 Dr. Cox was right. Things do happen for a reason. 342 00:19:36,375 --> 00:19:38,809 343 00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:47,017 Like going through a horrible experience with a friend 344 00:19:47,085 --> 00:19:49,451 reminds you of how much you missed hanging out. 345 00:19:49,555 --> 00:19:53,047 "A woman to find a man 346 00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:55,150 to find a woman." 347 00:19:57,496 --> 00:19:59,191 Excuse me for a sec. 348 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:03,194 - Ahem. 349 00:20:05,804 --> 00:20:08,238 Incoming call from Elliot Reid? 350 00:20:08,307 --> 00:20:10,036 You're on speed dial, baby. 351 00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:12,274 Ah! 352 00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:14,970 - What's up? - What's up? 353 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,981 - What you doing? - What are you doing? 354 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,710 What you doing? 355 00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:21,753 In Cabbage's case, as much as I was gonna miss him, 356 00:20:21,820 --> 00:20:25,483 I was just lucky to get rid of him before he really hurt someone. 357 00:20:37,035 --> 00:20:41,699 You've always been really nice to me and I wanted to say thanks and goodbye. 358 00:20:41,773 --> 00:20:43,502 Oh, goodbye, young man. 359 00:20:49,848 --> 00:20:51,543