1
00:00:02,569 --> 00:00:07,006
 A month ago, I shaved my head to
show solidarity with a leukemia patient.

2
00:00:07,073 --> 00:00:10,440
Of course, there were ramifications.

3
00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:12,842
Hello, I'm your doctor.

4
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,238
# Hare Krishna

5
00:00:15,348 --> 00:00:19,114
Oh, no, no. I know I've got the hair,
but I'm not one of you, uh, people.

6
00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:22,655
Hello. How are you?
Well, I have been known to tambour.

7
00:00:22,722 --> 00:00:25,691
# Hare Krishna
He's a Krishna

8
00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:27,692
# The best Krishna #

9
00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:31,026
 After our tambourine jam,
they gave me some literature,

10
00:00:31,097 --> 00:00:33,793
but I'm not the type
easily sucked in by that stuff.

11
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:36,335
 Morning, Dr. Dorian.
 Praise be to Krishna!

12
00:00:36,403 --> 00:00:37,893
Damn it!

13
00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:41,338
Hey, Mr. Coleman,
how are you feeling?

14
00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:45,868
# They call me mellow yellow #

15
00:00:45,945 --> 00:00:49,472
Um, Mr. Coleman, the hepatitis
is doing a number on your liver.

16
00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:51,813
You're obviously very jaundiced...

17
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:55,548
Yellow! Oh, "mellow yellow,"
I get it! That's funny.

18
00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:59,922
I never knew what that song was about.
Now I finally get it. Liver disease.

19
00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:02,291
We're gonna give you
suppressive therapy

20
00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:06,230
and do everything we can to make sure
you don't need a liver transplant, OK?

21
00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:08,927
 OK.
 All right. We'll see you, Mr. Coleman.

22
00:01:09,502 --> 00:01:12,130
 Unfortunately, a month later...

23
00:01:13,673 --> 00:01:17,040
 Let's hear it.
 Frank, we have no more options.

24
00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:19,078
We gotta get you a new liver.

25
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:29,020
So how's the boy toy thing going?

26
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,922
I'm thinking of trading Perry in
for a younger model.

27
00:01:31,991 --> 00:01:33,925
We're getting kind of serious...

28
00:01:33,993 --> 00:01:37,861
Excuse me, I need a moment of silence
so I can get into a meditative state

29
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,399
where I block out
any irritating white noise.

30
00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:43,300
I call it my happy place.

31
00:01:45,205 --> 00:01:50,575
 You know, it's kind of rude...

32
00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:56,009
 I understand you...
 Sweets, he can't hear you.

33
00:01:56,082 --> 00:01:57,140
 Really?
 Mmmm.

34
00:01:57,917 --> 00:02:02,217
I was the one who puked on your Porsche
after Turk and Carla's wedding.

35
00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:03,255


36
00:02:03,356 --> 00:02:06,086
That has been eating at me
for two years. Anyway...

37
00:02:06,159 --> 00:02:09,094
Keith is great.
The only problem is his last name.

38
00:02:09,162 --> 00:02:14,498
 It's, um... Dudemeister.
 Oh, that doesn't even sound real.

39
00:02:14,567 --> 00:02:18,435
It's German, Dudemeister.
It means "master of dudes."

40
00:02:18,505 --> 00:02:21,474
One of the reasons I divorced Perry
was his last name.

41
00:02:21,541 --> 00:02:25,307
 You don't like Cox?
 Actually, I love Cox.

42
00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:27,346
Greatest conversation ever.

43
00:02:27,447 --> 00:02:30,382
 See, that's the problem.
 This sausage is huge!

44
00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:33,613
Excuse me, ladies.
I'm needed elsewhere.

45
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,689
The four of us should go out
for a drink sometime.

46
00:02:36,756 --> 00:02:39,281
 We're free tonight.
 It's a couple date.

47
00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:40,519
Done!

48
00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:43,357


49
00:02:44,397 --> 00:02:46,865
Something horrible just happened.

50
00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:50,760
All right, buddy.
Today's the day.

51
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:54,500
 The amazing thing about livers
is that a person with a healthy one

52
00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:57,907
can have part of it removed
and give it to somebody else.

53
00:02:57,977 --> 00:03:00,878
For Frank, that person
was his brother, Marc.

54
00:03:00,947 --> 00:03:05,008
Hey, someone order liver?

55
00:03:05,084 --> 00:03:09,145
JellO? JellO?
Is this thing on? JellO?

56
00:03:09,222 --> 00:03:10,189
That was good.

57
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:12,850
 Marc was a standup comic
on a cruise ship.

58
00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:17,123
If I'm not careful,
they'll put me in the punitentiary.

59
00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:18,788
 He was a genius.

60
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,030
Thanks for doing this for me, man.

61
00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:24,968
What's mine is yours, little bro.
You know that.

62
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,063
 I didn't get that one.
 Me neither.

63
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:30,769
If you ever donated a body part to me,
you know which one I'd want?

64
00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:33,474
Thanks for the butt, player!

65
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:36,709
You better have a reason
for taking my man's badonkadonkdonk.

66
00:03:36,816 --> 00:03:40,081
I do, Carla. I'm building something.

67
00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:44,112
 What?
 # A brick house

68
00:03:44,190 --> 00:03:47,751
# It's mighty, mighty
just lettin' it all hang out

69
00:03:47,827 --> 00:03:51,194
# She's a brick house #

70
00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:54,823
Dr. Turk, Todd needs you in the lab.

71
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:58,598
Tell Todd he can kiss my big black ass.

72
00:03:58,671 --> 00:04:01,572
 I bet you wish you could say that.
 I do!

73
00:04:02,475 --> 00:04:05,842
# I can't do this all on my own

74
00:04:05,945 --> 00:04:09,506
# No, I know
I'm no Superman

75
00:04:12,552 --> 00:04:14,713
# I'm no Superman #

76
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:21,387
Brr! These gowns do not protect the
fellas against a cool breeze, do they?

77
00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:22,792
You'll get used to it.

78
00:04:22,862 --> 00:04:25,592
We'll be back to check on you later,
all right?

79
00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:28,429
OK. We'll be the guys
that look like us.

80
00:04:28,501 --> 00:04:29,593


81
00:04:29,669 --> 00:04:33,628
 How does he come up with this stuff?
 He could be a dynamite center square.

82
00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:36,504
Dude, four more hours and I am off.

83
00:04:36,576 --> 00:04:38,942
You mean, we are off.
I changed my schedule,

84
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:42,038
which means I have Thursday nights off,
we are going out.

85
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:45,141
You'll be my wing man,
even though you're horrible at it.

86
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:47,345
When have I been a bad wing man?

87
00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:52,648
Dude, are you sure this isn't offensive?
Nobody else is wearing a costume.

88
00:04:52,725 --> 00:04:55,057
Buddy, relax.
These are my guys, all right?

89
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,892
As long you're with me,
they'll find this funny.

90
00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,124
All right.

91
00:04:59,198 --> 00:05:00,893


92
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,798
That looks like Talia.

93
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,399
What's up?!

94
00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:08,363
Ah!

95
00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:12,511
My bad, my bad.

96
00:05:12,578 --> 00:05:15,411


97
00:05:21,954 --> 00:05:24,013
That wasn't Talia.

98
00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:26,558
Every time I saw them,
they yelled, "Cracker!"

99
00:05:26,626 --> 00:05:28,457
How did they know I like crackers?

100
00:05:28,528 --> 00:05:32,294
Please don't make me go out with Barbie
and, yes, I know it's too easy, Ken.

101
00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:35,596
But we haven't gone out
with another couple in over a year.

102
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:39,001
Jordan, there's a reason for that.

103
00:05:40,473 --> 00:05:42,566
Whoa, whoa.
Slow down there, big guy.

104
00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:45,437
Why, Zeltzer?
It's not like I'm driving.

105
00:05:45,545 --> 00:05:47,513
I know, but there was a roofie in it.

106
00:05:50,883 --> 00:05:53,374
I'm not sure if I'm OK with that.

107
00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:55,614
Three, two, one...

108
00:05:57,957 --> 00:05:59,584
Party time.

109
00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:02,926
I think we should
give them another chance.

110
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:05,955
Whoa!

111
00:06:06,999 --> 00:06:10,264
Nurse Espinosa,
I need your help with something.

112
00:06:10,336 --> 00:06:12,463
My dog, Baxter,
passed away last night.

113
00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:15,666
I've dealt with it emotionally,
but I can't stop crying.

114
00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:20,702
I need you to run interference for me.
Keep people from seeing me vulnerable.

115
00:06:20,813 --> 00:06:22,906
So you think I'll automatically do this?

116
00:06:22,982 --> 00:06:24,711
You think my ego is so big

117
00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:27,878
that I'll be flattered
that I'm the only one you open up to?

118
00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:29,046
I'll do it.

119
00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:31,986
 Wish us luck, guys.
 Good luck, fellas.

120
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:34,117
 All the best.
 I'll be rooting for you.

121
00:06:34,193 --> 00:06:37,356
And I will see you, my friend, later.

122
00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:38,795
Wonderful.

123
00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:41,891
What are you gonna do?
Stay up late, eat raw cookie dough,

124
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:44,493
and pinkieswear your diet
will start tomorrow?

125
00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:45,832
What is your problem?

126
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:49,739
Jordan's forcing me to double date
with the Dudemeisters.

127
00:06:49,809 --> 00:06:52,505
'Cause of J.D.,
I gotta miss Turk Night.

128
00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:56,344
I have three nights off during the week.
Two of those, Carla has off too,

129
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,678
so we do married stuff.

130
00:06:57,750 --> 00:07:00,651
Fighting, bickering
and the occasional quickie.

131
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:04,486
Exactly. But Thursday nights,
I got the apartment to myself.

132
00:07:04,557 --> 00:07:06,286
So, you know, I come home...

133
00:07:07,493 --> 00:07:08,824
 I walk in the door.

134
00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:11,227
I immediately get comfortable.

135
00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:14,430
Then I take care of all my busy work,

136
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:18,061
case dictations,
patient charts, everything.

137
00:07:18,137 --> 00:07:20,628
Then I watch whatever's on ESPN.

138
00:07:20,706 --> 00:07:24,369
 Stay tuned for Gilmore Girls.
 Mothers and daughters.

139
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,311
They speak so fast
but they speak so true.

140
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:29,473
 I make some important work calls.

141
00:07:29,549 --> 00:07:32,245
 Did you see it?
 I am so mad at Lorelai,

142
00:07:32,318 --> 00:07:34,548
I can't even talk right now.

143
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,588
That's Turk Night.

144
00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:37,816


145
00:07:37,890 --> 00:07:39,858
God, you're boring.

146
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:42,021


147
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,826
 Hey. Just need to talk to Kelso.
 You can't come in.

148
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:48,833
 Why?
 Um...

149
00:07:48,901 --> 00:07:51,870
 I have no pants on.
 He spilled coffee on them.

150
00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:54,099
Wish I didn't have to see
those pale legs.

151
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,573
Ask for a new label maker
in the pharmacy.

152
00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:59,406
The P is broken and nobody
knows what "enicillin" is.

153
00:07:59,512 --> 00:08:00,774
Oh.

154
00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:03,315
 Sir, she just wants...
 Just tell her no.

155
00:08:03,382 --> 00:08:05,646
 But, sir...
 If it makes you feel better,

156
00:08:05,718 --> 00:08:09,245
you can pretend you're fighting for her.
Yell, "Hear me out, Bob."

157
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:12,951
 Hear me out, you old jackass.
 No adlibbing.

158
00:08:13,025 --> 00:08:15,186
Now send her packing.

159
00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:20,991
 He said yes.
 Coolio!

160
00:08:23,569 --> 00:08:25,036
You think you're funny.

161
00:08:25,104 --> 00:08:28,733
My job is to spend the day
saying "no" to people,

162
00:08:28,808 --> 00:08:32,175
and now that you have let a "yes"
spread out into the world,

163
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:34,805
you have opened the floodgates.

164
00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:37,474


165
00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:40,451
 Can we have Bibles in the rooms?
 No.

166
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:44,422
 Can I get a better handsfree headset?
 No.

167
00:08:44,490 --> 00:08:46,515
Am I allowed back
in the men's locker room?

168
00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:47,650
No!

169
00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:49,888
 Can I get some new work boots?
 No.

170
00:08:51,898 --> 00:08:54,458
Guess the old ones work.
I do have more requests.

171
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,264
I need an anvil, barbed wire
and a bow and arrow.

172
00:08:57,336 --> 00:08:58,997
 How about a sled dog?
 No.

173
00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:00,038
 Cowboy hat?
 No.

174
00:09:00,139 --> 00:09:01,606
 Javelin? Ferris wheel?
 No.

175
00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:02,641
 Stun gun?
 No.

176
00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:04,437
 Pelican.
 No!

177
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:10,204
I'll be on the couch napping.

178
00:09:10,983 --> 00:09:12,746
Sweetie, calm down.

179
00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:15,184
If you're miserable,
you can talk to me, OK?

180
00:09:15,254 --> 00:09:17,722
I won't abandon you, all right?

181
00:09:17,790 --> 00:09:18,757
OK.

182
00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:22,385
 My God! I love your necklace!
 I got it from the Indians in the park.

183
00:09:22,461 --> 00:09:24,929
Let's go to the bathroom,
you can try it on.

184
00:09:26,265 --> 00:09:30,599
Hey, uh, Dr. Cox, can you get me a beer?
I forgot my ID.

185
00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:32,194
Oh.

186
00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:37,336
I can't believe people
hang out at bowling alleys.

187
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:40,277
It's great.
Surround yourself with new friends,

188
00:09:40,346 --> 00:09:44,009
you say one clever thing,
and you're in. Watch this.

189
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:46,415
You guys, let's tally it up.
Gather around.

190
00:09:46,485 --> 00:09:50,251
Whoa, Carol! 180! Amazing.

191
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:52,757
Lisa, you had a 125.

192
00:09:52,825 --> 00:09:55,794
 Turk, 192.
 That's how we do.

193
00:09:55,861 --> 00:09:58,295
And I bowled a gentleman's 40.

194
00:09:58,364 --> 00:10:01,424
Now, who wants to
help me off with my shoes?

195
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:03,661
I forgot to wear socks.

196
00:10:05,404 --> 00:10:06,462
I'm losing them.

197
00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:09,906
If you ladies remain in this area,
we'll bring back drinks.

198
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:12,308
 Nice save.
 Thank you.

199
00:10:12,378 --> 00:10:13,470


200
00:10:13,546 --> 00:10:17,175
 Krishnas.
 Relax, they'll never recognize you.

201
00:10:37,670 --> 00:10:39,137
Good to see you again.

202
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:40,763
What's up?

203
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:53,648
I hate it when Keith wears that shirt.

204
00:10:53,719 --> 00:10:55,186
We get it. You like sports.

205
00:10:55,254 --> 00:10:58,314
Sweetie, you have to dress your man.

206
00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:02,088
For God's sake, Perry walked out
of the house tonight in a hockey jersey.

207
00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:07,929
 Dr. Cox, when you first...

208
00:11:10,636 --> 00:11:12,797
Hey, you. Make an effort.

209
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:17,042
You may tell me who your favorite
sports team is. Keep it short.

210
00:11:17,109 --> 00:11:19,737
 Detroit Red Wings.
 Oh.

211
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:25,884
For the next 20 minutes,
you will sit in silence

212
00:11:25,951 --> 00:11:28,112
while I tell you why
the Detroit Red Wings

213
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:31,213
are the greatest franchise
in the history of sports.

214
00:11:31,290 --> 00:11:34,054
On September 25, 1926...

215
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:35,755
Look at you, man!

216
00:11:35,828 --> 00:11:38,729
Your color's back.
There's no sign of infection.

217
00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:39,924
I feel great.

218
00:11:39,999 --> 00:11:42,160
 You look great, man. I'm glad.
 Thanks.

219
00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:45,567
 Unfortunately, things
weren't going as well for Marc.

220
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,608
He's hypotensive and tachycardic.

221
00:11:50,409 --> 00:11:52,775
 Sometimes,
that's the way life works.

222
00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:56,245
The person who does the nice thing
is the one who suffers most.

223
00:11:56,315 --> 00:11:58,840
Whether it's giving up Turk Night
for a friend...

224
00:11:58,918 --> 00:12:01,978
Christopher, why haven't you
finished your case reports?

225
00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:06,013
Sorry, I was gonna do them last night,
but I wound up going out with my buddy.

226
00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:07,752
Just get them done.

227
00:12:09,328 --> 00:12:12,263
 Or going out with an intern
to make your wife happy.

228
00:12:12,331 --> 00:12:14,891
Hey, Dr. Cox, we're going
for coffee. Want to come?

229
00:12:15,634 --> 00:12:18,728
 Get the hell away from me.

230
00:12:19,939 --> 00:12:21,702
Why are you all smiling?

231
00:12:21,774 --> 00:12:25,141
Keith said you'd be mean,
but then you'd tell us sports stories.

232
00:12:25,611 --> 00:12:28,273
Oh, my God!

233
00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:29,881
Hi.

234
00:12:29,982 --> 00:12:33,042
 Or agreeing to be
the bad guy for your boss.

235
00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:41,285
 I'm still...
 Oh, come on!

236
00:12:42,361 --> 00:12:46,491
 When you end up paying the price,
it can make you wonder...

237
00:12:46,565 --> 00:12:48,294
He's bleeding out.
Prep the O.R.

238
00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:50,597
Can I have the crash cart in here?

239
00:12:51,137 --> 00:12:53,230
... was it worth it?

240
00:12:53,305 --> 00:12:55,170


241
00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:02,676
One of the sutures came undone,
but we got it in time.

242
00:13:02,748 --> 00:13:06,912
 He should be fine now.
 Nurse, call me if there's any change.

243
00:13:07,019 --> 00:13:10,477
 How awesome was last night?
 You got bowled by my frat brothers.

244
00:13:10,556 --> 00:13:13,684
We're cool. They invited me
to this alumni thing in January.

245
00:13:13,759 --> 00:13:16,125
 The Martin Luther King Fling?
 Sounds hot.

246
00:13:16,228 --> 00:13:20,358
We're going out Thursday, right?
I got a Magic Eight Ball bowling ball.

247
00:13:20,432 --> 00:13:23,401
Check it. Are the ladies
gonna love this?

248
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:26,097
"Ask again later"?
I'm just kidding. It says yes.

249
00:13:26,172 --> 00:13:30,108
 Thursday night might not work.
 You're going. Where are the interns?

250
00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:33,942
They're with Dr. Cox. Apparently,
he's mentoring and talking to them.

251
00:13:34,046 --> 00:13:35,070
 What?!

252
00:13:37,716 --> 00:13:39,240
OK, that's it!

253
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:43,778
This right here is the "get hit" line.
Cross it at your own risk.

254
00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:46,882
When do you turn nice?
This is getting kind of old.

255
00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:48,517
Never, Leslie.

256
00:13:48,627 --> 00:13:50,652
 He knows my name!

257
00:13:50,729 --> 00:13:52,959
I was calling you
by a random girl's name.

258
00:13:53,032 --> 00:13:54,397
Listen, please.

259
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:57,060
I don't care about
any of your problems.

260
00:13:57,136 --> 00:14:00,105
I have no answers for any of you.

261
00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:05,007
But my boyfriend is bicurious
and he wants me to pick his lovers.

262
00:14:05,444 --> 00:14:07,469
I might have an answer for that.

263
00:14:07,546 --> 00:14:09,070
Ew!

264
00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:10,513
I mean, come on, children.

265
00:14:10,616 --> 00:14:13,346
What do you actually think
is going to happen here?

266
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:19,324
Do you think I'm going to take you
and sit you down next to me and say, um,

267
00:14:19,391 --> 00:14:24,920
"Listen, uh, if you need anything,
you've got my pager.

268
00:14:24,997 --> 00:14:28,262
Just know that
I'm there for you always"?

269
00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:31,201
Oh, my God.

270
00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:33,932
 Newbie!
 No! Zip it!

271
00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:37,498
I am so Gdarn pissed right now.

272
00:14:37,576 --> 00:14:40,136
I was OK when you kept me
at an arm's length,

273
00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:43,613
because everybody said,
"That's Cox. That's how he operates."

274
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,479
And I believed them.

275
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:47,815
But now I walk in on this...

276
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:52,256
...this biracial love fest.

277
00:14:52,324 --> 00:14:54,224
You know what?
I hate to do it,

278
00:14:54,293 --> 00:14:57,057
but I'm giving you back the pencil.
That's right.

279
00:14:57,162 --> 00:15:00,063
The pencil you gave me
on my third day of work.

280
00:15:00,132 --> 00:15:03,397
You handed it off to me
like a tiny yellow baton,

281
00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:07,200
like you were trying to say to me,
"J.D., you are the new me.

282
00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:10,208
You, J.D., are my mentee.

283
00:15:10,276 --> 00:15:13,643
You... are my son."

284
00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:16,778
What pencil?

285
00:15:17,783 --> 00:15:19,478
Oh, that's perfect.

286
00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:22,010
That's perfect.

287
00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:24,055
You know what? Take it.

288
00:15:24,123 --> 00:15:28,492
Maybe you can use it
with Rex or Gloria or...

289
00:15:28,994 --> 00:15:30,359
...that guy.

290
00:15:30,462 --> 00:15:32,555
That guy's name is Leslie.

291
00:15:34,566 --> 00:15:36,727
His name is Leslie.

292
00:15:36,835 --> 00:15:38,393
His name is Leslie.

293
00:15:38,504 --> 00:15:42,440
Your name is Leslie.
All right. Good for you, Leslie!

294
00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:48,909
Leslie!

295
00:15:51,550 --> 00:15:54,314
So do you think
everybody's still mad at me?

296
00:15:54,386 --> 00:15:56,081
I...

297
00:15:57,489 --> 00:16:00,049


298
00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:11,264
Guys, come on!
I'm the only one giving the evil eye!

299
00:16:11,337 --> 00:16:14,101
We worked on this.
Hey, Ted, you're giving sad eye.

300
00:16:14,206 --> 00:16:17,073
 It's all I've got!
 I don't believe that.

301
00:16:17,142 --> 00:16:19,110
Now, come on.
Let's suck it up.

302
00:16:19,211 --> 00:16:22,442
Dig deep. Concentrate, and just...

303
00:16:22,514 --> 00:16:25,847


304
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:35,853
And break.

305
00:16:35,928 --> 00:16:38,556
 Nice. Very nice, guys. Even you.

306
00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:41,963
I just thought about flat boobies
and it made me mad.

307
00:16:42,468 --> 00:16:44,698
What do I have to do
to make it up to you?

308
00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:46,328
Go, Ted.

309
00:16:47,106 --> 00:16:50,473
We want tickets to the Latin Grammys.

310
00:16:50,576 --> 00:16:53,238
We figured you might know someone.

311
00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:55,337
 I don't.
 Oh, Carla, please.

312
00:16:55,414 --> 00:16:57,382
Elliot, I don't!

313
00:16:57,483 --> 00:17:00,043
How about she buys rounds
for everyone at the bar?

314
00:17:00,152 --> 00:17:03,121
 Apple martinis? Cool.
 That'd be fine. See you guys.

315
00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:05,019
That was easy, yeah.

316
00:17:05,090 --> 00:17:07,650
Latin Grammys or nada.

317
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,590
Interns are looking for you.

318
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:17,396
I know. I'm in my streets
because I'm sneaking out,

319
00:17:17,469 --> 00:17:19,528
all because of couples' night.

320
00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:23,541
Speaking of couples' nights, I don't
know if you and Jordan like camping,

321
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:26,976
but this weekend, me, the wife
and an interesting guy named Ron

322
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,980
are heading out to the lake.

323
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,516
 Keep moving, Zeltzer.
 Rain check.

324
00:17:31,583 --> 00:17:33,210
So you gotta leave early?

325
00:17:33,285 --> 00:17:37,346
Thanks to Kelso, I gotta take the staff
out for drinks so they don't hate me.

326
00:17:37,423 --> 00:17:40,654
Thanks to J.D.,
I'll be up forever doing case reports.

327
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:43,490
Plus, I lost the one night off
that I look forward to.

328
00:17:43,595 --> 00:17:46,530
What about the two nights a week
we spend together?

329
00:17:46,598 --> 00:17:48,862
Now I am so mad at J.D.!

330
00:17:49,268 --> 00:17:50,394
That's it.

331
00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:52,437
We've got to let these people know.

332
00:17:52,504 --> 00:17:53,471
Let's do this.

333
00:17:54,373 --> 00:17:55,931
Let's do it.

334
00:17:56,942 --> 00:17:59,274
I like this particular outfit

335
00:17:59,344 --> 00:18:01,107
because it's casual

336
00:18:01,213 --> 00:18:05,445
and the pant pockets are extradeep,
which is perfect for storing makeup.

337
00:18:05,517 --> 00:18:07,382
He's like a giant purse.

338
00:18:08,353 --> 00:18:09,843
This shirt is itchy.

339
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,890
Oh, oh. Shh. Purses don't talk.

340
00:18:17,663 --> 00:18:20,154
Jordan, you promised
this would never happen.

341
00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:23,125


342
00:18:23,735 --> 00:18:25,566
How dare you?

343
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,601
 Could we talk?
 One sec.

344
00:18:31,210 --> 00:18:33,974
I just wanted to thank you
for the other night.

345
00:18:34,079 --> 00:18:37,913
Since Perry and I had Jack, we don't
get to go out that much as a couple,

346
00:18:37,983 --> 00:18:41,282
and it was really nice.

347
00:18:41,353 --> 00:18:45,813
 Don't tell anyone I'm nice.
 Oh, mm, no. Mmmm.

348
00:18:46,225 --> 00:18:48,716
Dr. Kelso, we need to talk.

349
00:18:49,361 --> 00:18:52,421
Baxter was a good dog.

350
00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:56,597
You never think you're gonna
miss animals as much as you do.

351
00:18:57,402 --> 00:19:01,964
It was just nice having some creature
in my life who never disappointed me,

352
00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:04,133
never judged me,

353
00:19:04,209 --> 00:19:07,235
never showed up late
at my 50th birthday party

354
00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:12,181
with freshly pierced nipples and a
barely legal Filipino boy named Pogo,

355
00:19:12,251 --> 00:19:14,811
 my son Harrison.
 I figured.

356
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:18,879
Man's best friend, huh?

357
00:19:19,925 --> 00:19:22,155
They got that one right.

358
00:19:22,227 --> 00:19:24,388
At least you've stopped crying.

359
00:19:24,463 --> 00:19:25,589
No, not really.

360
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:30,226
My body can't produce tears anymore.
I've intentionally dehydrated myself.

361
00:19:30,302 --> 00:19:31,826
It's a risky move, I know,

362
00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:34,429
but Dr. Jarvis here
said it'll be all right.

363
00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:36,667
There's nobody standing behind you.

364
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:39,673
I'm going to need an IV.

365
00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:44,048
J.D., can I talk to you?

366
00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:46,277
I can't right now.
I gotta check on Frank.

367
00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:52,550
So are you missing
the other half of your liver?

368
00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:56,151
Oh, I'm not, but my gallbladder's
pretty broken up about it.

369
00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:58,162
Apparently they had a thing.

370
00:19:58,230 --> 00:20:02,098
You've got a gift, man, a gift!

371
00:20:03,235 --> 00:20:06,466
Did your brother freak out
when you told him you almost died?

372
00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:08,267
I didn't tell Frank.

373
00:20:09,174 --> 00:20:11,734
Look at him. He's so happy.

374
00:20:13,011 --> 00:20:16,174
If he knew what I went through,
he'd feel terrible.

375
00:20:16,248 --> 00:20:19,012
Why would I wanna do that to him
when I love him so much?

376
00:20:22,087 --> 00:20:24,419
Hey, Turk.
You wanted to talk to me?

377
00:20:24,489 --> 00:20:27,049
 You wanted to talk to me?
 You wanted to talk to me?

378
00:20:27,159 --> 00:20:29,093


379
00:20:32,297 --> 00:20:37,257
Dr. Cox, can we talk about something
besides sports this time?

380
00:20:37,336 --> 00:20:38,394
You're OK.

381
00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:39,528
OK, there, Keith,

382
00:20:39,605 --> 00:20:43,541
you may choose between good Scotch,
ab workouts or Lee Marvin movies.

383
00:20:43,609 --> 00:20:46,635
 And who over here needs a refill?
 Yes, please.

384
00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:50,045
 Thanks for the 'tini, Carla.
 You got it, mama.

385
00:20:50,115 --> 00:20:52,208
 Here you go, Grumpy.
 Latin Grammys!

386
00:20:52,284 --> 00:20:54,218
 Tell you the nominees.
 Fabuloso.

387
00:20:54,286 --> 00:20:56,516
 Category?
 Reggaeton.

388
00:20:57,623 --> 00:21:01,184
 Having a great time, man.
 Me too, me too.

389
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:02,727
Cheers.