1 00:00:02,090 --> 00:00:04,809 After six weeks home with her baby, Carla was facing the decision 2 00:00:05,051 --> 00:00:07,326 that all new moms have to face, 3 00:00:07,554 --> 00:00:08,873 whether she should go back to work. 4 00:00:09,055 --> 00:00:12,889 Okay, so if we take my salary and subtract the cost 5 00:00:13,184 --> 00:00:16,176 of a full-time nanny, plus her health insurance, 6 00:00:16,438 --> 00:00:19,396 we would still end up with 7 00:00:19,649 --> 00:00:21,879 losing $5 a month? 8 00:00:22,110 --> 00:00:25,261 This is completely your decision. I don't care one way or the other. 9 00:00:25,530 --> 00:00:28,249 Maybe I'll try staying home with Izzy for a year. 10 00:00:28,491 --> 00:00:31,369 Yes! Yes! 11 00:00:31,870 --> 00:00:35,067 Yes, yes, yes, yes! 12 00:00:35,832 --> 00:00:38,107 As for me, ever since my pregnant girlfriend left, 13 00:00:38,334 --> 00:00:40,564 I've been a little clingy with my roommate. 14 00:00:40,795 --> 00:00:42,114 J.D., I'm gonna get a drink from the water fountain. 15 00:00:42,297 --> 00:00:43,776 You wanna come? 16 00:00:43,965 --> 00:00:46,195 Please, Elliot, I'm not that desperate. 17 00:00:46,426 --> 00:00:50,385 Although I am a little parched. Plus I could hold back her hair. 18 00:00:53,558 --> 00:00:55,037 Are you okay, ma'am? 19 00:00:55,226 --> 00:00:58,218 How many fingers do you see? 20 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:00,835 Call 911 Emergency 21 00:01:01,900 --> 00:01:03,777 Why are you singing? 22 00:01:03,985 --> 00:01:07,295 Wait, why am I singing? 23 00:01:07,572 --> 00:01:10,405 Is there someone here with you? 24 00:01:10,658 --> 00:01:13,889 Someone that we could talk to? 25 00:01:14,162 --> 00:01:16,073 - Are you okay? - Are you okay? 26 00:01:16,289 --> 00:01:17,802 - Are you all right? - Are you all right? 27 00:01:17,999 --> 00:01:19,398 - Are you okay? - Are you okay? 28 00:01:19,584 --> 00:01:21,176 - Are you all right? - Are you all right? 29 00:01:21,378 --> 00:01:22,936 - Are you okay? - Are you okay? 30 00:01:23,129 --> 00:01:24,562 - Are you all right? - Are you all right? 31 00:01:24,756 --> 00:01:27,634 The mind's a freaky thing, Elliot. Maybe she does hear singing. 32 00:01:27,884 --> 00:01:29,795 Yeah, well, I haven't sung since the sixth-grade talent show 33 00:01:30,011 --> 00:01:32,206 when I did Pat Benatar's Hell is For Children, 34 00:01:32,430 --> 00:01:34,421 and then afterwards Mr Shemin, the emcee, said, 35 00:01:34,641 --> 00:01:37,280 "No, actually, hell is for everyone who just had to hear you sing that song. " 36 00:01:37,519 --> 00:01:39,510 My mom was so mad, she slept with him and ruined his marriage. 37 00:01:39,729 --> 00:01:41,640 Well, let's see how she's doing. 38 00:01:49,239 --> 00:01:52,276 Hello, I'm Dr Kelso I'm delighted that you came 39 00:01:52,534 --> 00:01:55,446 So the doctors say you fainted And you don't know what's to blame 40 00:01:55,704 --> 00:01:58,616 Well, put your mind at ease There's no ill we can't outsmart 41 00:01:58,873 --> 00:02:01,023 On behalf of all who work here 42 00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:05,927 - Welcome to Sacred Heart! - Welcome to Sacred Heart! 43 00:02:06,798 --> 00:02:10,234 Our facilities are excellent You couldn't ask for more 44 00:02:10,510 --> 00:02:13,547 As long as you avoid the bathrooms On the second floor 45 00:02:13,805 --> 00:02:16,603 This is Dr Cox I'll be giving him your chart 46 00:02:16,850 --> 00:02:20,763 And that's Dr Kelso The kiss-ass of Sacred Heart 47 00:02:21,479 --> 00:02:24,277 You say you burnt Your hand real bad 48 00:02:24,524 --> 00:02:27,561 We'll fix you up with gauze 49 00:02:27,819 --> 00:02:30,253 Perhaps you need your fat sucked out 50 00:02:30,488 --> 00:02:33,605 - Or want a smaller schnoz - Hey! 51 00:02:33,867 --> 00:02:38,622 You've caught an S. T.D. From some tasty little tart? 52 00:02:38,955 --> 00:02:44,109 We swear we won't judge you Here at Sacred, here at Sacred 53 00:02:44,502 --> 00:02:51,021 Here at Sacred Heart! 54 00:03:07,359 --> 00:03:11,318 One more thing that I should mention If what I've heard is true 55 00:03:11,613 --> 00:03:15,606 And everyone appears To be singing to you 56 00:03:18,620 --> 00:03:21,578 Your case is very serious And we'd better start 57 00:03:21,831 --> 00:03:28,270 'Cause if you think we're singing You belong at Sacred Heart! 58 00:03:28,672 --> 00:03:32,108 Doctors! Nurses! Patients! Dead guys! 59 00:03:32,384 --> 00:03:36,536 Welcome to Sacred Heart 60 00:04:08,795 --> 00:04:11,753 So, Mrs Miller passed both the audiological and neurological exams. 61 00:04:12,007 --> 00:04:14,601 We cannot find anything that explains why she's hearing music. 62 00:04:14,843 --> 00:04:17,052 No? How about this for an explanation? 63 00:04:17,220 --> 00:04:19,176 She's cuckoo-pants. 64 00:04:19,389 --> 00:04:22,062 Run some more tests and turf her to psych. 65 00:04:25,645 --> 00:04:29,684 Hey, Mrs Miller We just need a stool sample 66 00:04:29,983 --> 00:04:34,374 Why do you need a stool sample If you think I'm just a nut? 67 00:04:34,696 --> 00:04:39,850 'Cause the answer's not in your head, my dear, it's in your butt 68 00:04:40,201 --> 00:04:41,839 You see 69 00:04:42,037 --> 00:04:44,551 Everything comes down to poo 70 00:04:44,789 --> 00:04:47,781 From the top of your head To the sole of your shoe 71 00:04:48,043 --> 00:04:50,955 We can figure out What's wrong with you by 72 00:04:51,212 --> 00:04:53,601 Looking at your poo Turk? 73 00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:59,073 Do you have a haemorrhoid Or is it rectal cancer? 74 00:04:59,429 --> 00:05:04,423 When you flush your dookie down You flush away the answer 75 00:05:04,768 --> 00:05:10,001 It doesn't really matter If it's hard or if it's loose 76 00:05:10,357 --> 00:05:14,908 We'll figure out what's ailing you As long as it's a deuce 77 00:05:15,236 --> 00:05:16,225 Yes! 78 00:05:16,404 --> 00:05:18,838 - Everything comes down to poo - Everything comes down to poo 79 00:05:19,074 --> 00:05:22,111 Cardiovascular and lymphatic Yes, the nervous system, too 80 00:05:22,369 --> 00:05:25,167 All across the nation We trust in defecation 81 00:05:25,413 --> 00:05:28,166 Everything comes down to poo 82 00:05:28,416 --> 00:05:33,729 If you want to know what's wrong Don't sit and act so cool 83 00:05:34,089 --> 00:05:39,721 Just be a man and eat some bran And drop the kids off at the pool 84 00:05:40,095 --> 00:05:41,574 My stomach hurts! 85 00:05:41,763 --> 00:05:43,116 Check the poo 86 00:05:43,306 --> 00:05:44,421 I sprained my ankle! 87 00:05:44,599 --> 00:05:45,952 Check the poo 88 00:05:46,142 --> 00:05:47,291 I was shot! 89 00:05:47,477 --> 00:05:48,876 Check the poo 90 00:05:49,062 --> 00:05:50,336 A homeless guy threw poo in my eye. 91 00:05:50,522 --> 00:05:51,796 Check the poo 92 00:05:51,981 --> 00:05:52,936 Mine or his? 93 00:05:53,108 --> 00:05:55,383 First him, then you 94 00:05:55,610 --> 00:06:00,889 It may sound gross You may say, "Shush" 95 00:06:01,241 --> 00:06:06,520 But we need to see What comes out of your tush! 96 00:06:06,871 --> 00:06:08,145 Because 97 00:06:08,331 --> 00:06:11,528 - Everything comes down to poo - Everything comes down to poo 98 00:06:11,793 --> 00:06:14,671 Whether it's a tumour Or a touch of the flu 99 00:06:14,921 --> 00:06:17,594 Please won't you pinch us off A big fat clue 100 00:06:17,841 --> 00:06:20,753 Our number one test Is your number two 101 00:06:21,011 --> 00:06:23,571 If there's no breeze Light a match please 102 00:06:23,805 --> 00:06:26,319 Everything comes down to 103 00:06:26,558 --> 00:06:27,877 - Doo-doo - Doo-doo 104 00:06:28,059 --> 00:06:29,287 - Doo-doo - Doo-doo 105 00:06:29,477 --> 00:06:31,911 Everything comes down to poo 106 00:06:33,273 --> 00:06:34,592 You can touch her, it's okay. 107 00:06:34,774 --> 00:06:36,253 Guess what, you guys? 108 00:06:36,443 --> 00:06:39,719 I put an offer on a little house and it just got accepted! 109 00:06:39,988 --> 00:06:43,025 - Congratulations! That's awesome. - I own a house! 110 00:06:43,283 --> 00:06:45,319 Come on, baby. See you! 111 00:06:45,535 --> 00:06:47,765 I'm so excited for us! 112 00:06:48,872 --> 00:06:50,749 Does he think that he's moving in with me? 113 00:06:50,957 --> 00:06:52,709 That would be a "yes. " 114 00:06:52,917 --> 00:06:55,067 Excuse me, ex-Nurse Turkleton, 115 00:06:55,295 --> 00:07:00,130 but if you want to hang out around here you're going to need a visitor's badge. 116 00:07:01,343 --> 00:07:06,975 So, Carla, when will you be back? 117 00:07:07,349 --> 00:07:10,261 Not for a year 118 00:07:11,102 --> 00:07:13,935 - A year? - A year? 119 00:07:14,189 --> 00:07:17,226 Not for one long 120 00:07:17,817 --> 00:07:22,095 Long year 121 00:07:27,702 --> 00:07:32,173 We understand you love that kid But this ain't no way to treat us 122 00:07:32,499 --> 00:07:36,697 And I hesitate to say you did What Judas done to Jesus 123 00:07:37,003 --> 00:07:39,153 When you leave us all we'll be upset 124 00:07:39,381 --> 00:07:41,337 Look out, that floor is very wet 125 00:07:41,549 --> 00:07:45,861 We're going to miss you, Carla We're going to miss you 'round here 126 00:07:46,179 --> 00:07:48,215 - We're going to miss you, Carla - We're going to miss you, Carla 127 00:07:48,431 --> 00:07:50,865 - We're saying this through our tears - We're saying this through our tears 128 00:07:51,101 --> 00:07:55,219 How we ever going to get along without you for a long, long year? 129 00:07:55,522 --> 00:07:59,754 Who'll tell me that My new toupee looks sweet? 130 00:08:00,068 --> 00:08:04,425 Who'll treat my gay son's rash And be discreet? 131 00:08:04,739 --> 00:08:07,811 Who'll give me better ways to say "Man meat"? 132 00:08:09,285 --> 00:08:11,037 Thanks, I'm using that! 133 00:08:11,579 --> 00:08:13,695 We're going to miss you 'round here 134 00:08:13,915 --> 00:08:15,985 We're going to miss you, Carla 135 00:08:16,209 --> 00:08:18,518 We're saying this through our tears 136 00:08:18,753 --> 00:08:22,826 How we ever gonna get along without you for a long, long year? 137 00:08:23,133 --> 00:08:27,445 My baby's made the choice To be at home and not at work 138 00:08:27,762 --> 00:08:29,480 So let us all rejoice 139 00:08:29,681 --> 00:08:32,195 'Cause she's the brand-new Mama Turk 140 00:08:32,434 --> 00:08:36,632 He's right, of course, and yet my heart In spite of this feels torn apart 141 00:08:36,938 --> 00:08:38,974 We're going to miss you, Carla 142 00:08:39,190 --> 00:08:41,146 We're going to miss you 'round here 143 00:08:41,359 --> 00:08:43,714 I need a tissue, Carla 144 00:08:43,945 --> 00:08:46,220 We're saying this through our tears 145 00:08:46,448 --> 00:08:48,564 How we ever Going to get along without you? 146 00:08:48,783 --> 00:08:50,853 How we ever Going to get along without you? 147 00:08:51,077 --> 00:08:53,875 How we ever Going to get along without you... 148 00:08:54,122 --> 00:08:55,521 Lunch! 149 00:08:55,707 --> 00:08:58,824 It's going to be a long 150 00:08:59,085 --> 00:09:03,715 Long year 151 00:09:08,636 --> 00:09:11,833 Dr Cox, I'm not crazy 152 00:09:12,098 --> 00:09:14,373 Am I still singing? 153 00:09:14,601 --> 00:09:17,354 Singing like a bird 154 00:09:17,604 --> 00:09:19,640 Dr Cox, huge news 155 00:09:19,856 --> 00:09:26,011 I pulled some strings and got the parking spot right behind yours 156 00:09:26,404 --> 00:09:29,157 Bumper buddies! 157 00:09:29,407 --> 00:09:33,161 Still, you're not nearly as bad as her 158 00:09:33,453 --> 00:09:37,492 Do you know How much you annoy me? 159 00:09:37,791 --> 00:09:39,702 The answer is, "A lot" 160 00:09:39,918 --> 00:09:41,874 Should I list the reasons why? 161 00:09:42,087 --> 00:09:45,204 Well, I don't see why not 162 00:09:46,549 --> 00:09:47,698 It's your hair, your nose Your chinless face 163 00:09:47,884 --> 00:09:48,919 You always need a hug 164 00:09:49,094 --> 00:09:51,403 Not to mention all the manly Appletinis that you chug 165 00:09:51,638 --> 00:09:53,993 That you think I am your mentor Just continues to perplex 166 00:09:54,224 --> 00:09:56,533 And, oh, my God, stop telling me When you have nerdy sex 167 00:09:56,768 --> 00:09:58,281 Oh, by the way, the last time Kim was in town, 168 00:09:58,478 --> 00:10:01,038 we got some Appletinis and poured them on her good parts! 169 00:10:01,272 --> 00:10:03,786 See now, Newbie, that's the thing You do, that drives me up a tree 170 00:10:04,025 --> 00:10:06,061 'Cause no matter how I rant at you You never let me be 171 00:10:06,277 --> 00:10:07,346 So, I'm stuck With all your daydreaming 172 00:10:07,529 --> 00:10:08,598 Your wish to be my son 173 00:10:08,780 --> 00:10:11,248 It makes me suicidal And I'm not the only one 174 00:10:11,491 --> 00:10:13,686 No, I'm not the only one 175 00:10:16,996 --> 00:10:21,990 It all started with a penny in the door 176 00:10:23,211 --> 00:10:27,966 There was a hatred I had never felt before 177 00:10:30,010 --> 00:10:33,480 So, now I'll make him pay 178 00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:37,153 Each and every day 179 00:10:37,434 --> 00:10:40,392 Until that moussed-haired Little nuisance 180 00:10:40,645 --> 00:10:46,834 Is no more 181 00:10:49,487 --> 00:10:51,762 So, now that is why I call you names Like Carol, Jane, and Sue 182 00:10:51,990 --> 00:10:54,379 Like Moesha, Kim, and Lillian Suzanne and Betty-Lou 183 00:10:54,617 --> 00:10:56,812 See, regardless of the names I pick My feelings are quite clear 184 00:10:57,037 --> 00:10:59,756 You're a pain on every day Of every month of every year 185 00:10:59,998 --> 00:11:02,387 Dr Cox, you've got to help me 'Cause I really am distressed 186 00:11:02,625 --> 00:11:04,900 Can't you find another option? Won't you run another test? 187 00:11:05,128 --> 00:11:07,562 If you want some kind of favour Really any kind of favour 188 00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:10,265 Please just get me peace and quiet from this God-forsaken pest 189 00:11:10,508 --> 00:11:13,227 I think what my bumper buddy is trying to say... 190 00:11:13,470 --> 00:11:16,268 Shut your cake-hole, Mary-Beth 191 00:11:16,514 --> 00:11:21,065 Or I swear to God I'll shut it soon 192 00:11:21,936 --> 00:11:25,815 Congratulations We'll schedule your test this afternoon 193 00:11:31,571 --> 00:11:33,641 I know J.D.'s in a bad place, but I'm an adult, 194 00:11:33,865 --> 00:11:35,776 I'm making good money, I just want to live by myself. 195 00:11:35,992 --> 00:11:38,950 - So, just tell him. - Oh, so it's that easy? 196 00:11:39,204 --> 00:11:41,798 Then why don't you just tell Turk that you want to go back to work? 197 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:44,793 Well, what the hell am I gonna do? 198 00:11:45,043 --> 00:11:46,362 I could tell a bunch of lies 199 00:11:46,544 --> 00:11:47,693 I could buy him his own place 200 00:11:47,879 --> 00:11:49,392 I could bring the baby here with me 201 00:11:49,589 --> 00:11:52,023 Or tell him there's no space 202 00:11:52,258 --> 00:11:56,490 - Those are some lame-ass ideas. - We are so screwed. 203 00:12:00,767 --> 00:12:04,726 I'm sure you must be scared Not knowing what this test will bring 204 00:12:05,021 --> 00:12:09,253 It could prove that you are crazy Do you still hear people sing? 205 00:12:10,610 --> 00:12:14,285 It's best to know the truth Of that I have no doubt 206 00:12:14,572 --> 00:12:18,963 But you'll have to face the future When the truth comes out 207 00:12:20,161 --> 00:12:22,391 We are running a test That's a waste of our time 208 00:12:22,622 --> 00:12:24,578 But at least she'll accept That she's medically fine 209 00:12:24,791 --> 00:12:26,986 She'll admit that she's nuts Or I'll have to say snore 210 00:12:27,210 --> 00:12:30,282 Just give her the CA T scan And show her the door 211 00:12:31,047 --> 00:12:34,517 While we process your results We'll take you back to wait 212 00:12:34,801 --> 00:12:38,271 We've got drugs to calm you down So you don't stress about your fate 213 00:12:38,555 --> 00:12:42,184 It's best to know the truth Of that we have no doubt 214 00:12:42,475 --> 00:12:45,785 - But you'll have to face the future - You'll have to face the future 215 00:12:46,062 --> 00:12:47,177 When the truth comes out 216 00:12:47,355 --> 00:12:51,109 You're going to miss it, Carla You're going to miss it 'round here 217 00:12:51,401 --> 00:12:53,119 Gonna hurt him badly 218 00:12:53,319 --> 00:12:56,629 But you can't stay away For one whole year 219 00:12:56,906 --> 00:12:58,339 I know that I'm not crazy 220 00:12:58,533 --> 00:12:59,966 Everything comes down to poo 221 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:01,718 I hope that I'm not crazy 222 00:13:01,911 --> 00:13:05,267 When we move I'm going to have My own private loo 223 00:13:05,540 --> 00:13:08,498 How am I supposed to tell him That he's not moving, too? 224 00:13:08,752 --> 00:13:10,026 Oh, my God 225 00:13:10,211 --> 00:13:11,405 He doesn't have a clue! 226 00:13:11,588 --> 00:13:12,737 I'm crazy! 227 00:13:12,922 --> 00:13:15,994 If you'd like to reconsider I'd be glad to do my part 228 00:13:16,259 --> 00:13:18,409 If you want, your job is open 229 00:13:18,636 --> 00:13:23,915 Come on back to Sacred Heart 230 00:13:26,353 --> 00:13:27,581 Look at the temporal lobe. 231 00:13:27,771 --> 00:13:29,170 That could be why she's hearing music. 232 00:13:29,356 --> 00:13:32,473 The biggest aneurysm I've ever seen. The woman's a time bomb. 233 00:13:32,734 --> 00:13:34,770 Sometimes you're Better off not knowing 234 00:13:34,986 --> 00:13:36,624 But this isn't one of those times 235 00:13:36,821 --> 00:13:40,257 Your world's become a musical And your doctors speak in rhymes 236 00:13:40,533 --> 00:13:43,650 It's best to know the truth Of that we have no doubt 237 00:13:43,912 --> 00:13:46,107 But you'll have to face the future 238 00:13:46,331 --> 00:13:48,208 How can I tell him? 239 00:13:48,416 --> 00:13:49,895 How can I tell him? 240 00:13:50,085 --> 00:13:51,598 How can I tell her? 241 00:13:51,795 --> 00:13:55,185 You'll have to face the future When the truth comes out 242 00:13:57,050 --> 00:14:00,326 So, Dr Cox, is it serious? 243 00:14:10,897 --> 00:14:15,413 When the truth comes out! 244 00:14:19,739 --> 00:14:20,808 Okay, we have to tell them. 245 00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:22,867 They're so close, maybe they'll help each other through it. 246 00:14:23,076 --> 00:14:25,715 Oh, come on, Carla, they're guys, they're not going to get all touchy-feely. 247 00:14:28,748 --> 00:14:34,618 Let's face the facts about me and you A love unspecified 248 00:14:35,005 --> 00:14:38,441 Though I'm proud to call you Chocolate Bear 249 00:14:38,717 --> 00:14:42,107 The crowd will always talk and stare 250 00:14:42,387 --> 00:14:48,064 I feel exactly those feelings, too And that's why I keep them inside 251 00:14:48,435 --> 00:14:52,189 'Cause this bear Can't bear the world's disdain 252 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:54,675 And sometimes it's easier to hide 253 00:14:54,899 --> 00:14:59,211 Than explain our guy love That's all it is 254 00:14:59,529 --> 00:15:02,487 - Guy love, he's mine, I'm his - Guy love, he's mine, I'm his 255 00:15:02,741 --> 00:15:07,610 There's nothing gay about it In our eyes 256 00:15:09,622 --> 00:15:12,614 You ask me 'bout this thing we share 257 00:15:12,876 --> 00:15:17,108 And he tenderly replies 258 00:15:17,964 --> 00:15:19,522 It's guy love 259 00:15:19,716 --> 00:15:23,265 - Between two guys - Between two guys 260 00:15:25,305 --> 00:15:28,217 We're closer than The average man and wife 261 00:15:28,475 --> 00:15:31,308 That's why our matching bracelets Say "Turk and J.D." 262 00:15:31,561 --> 00:15:34,917 You know I'll stick by you For the rest of my life 263 00:15:35,190 --> 00:15:39,183 You're the only man Who's ever been inside of me 264 00:15:39,486 --> 00:15:41,841 Whoa, whoa, I just took out his appendix. 265 00:15:42,072 --> 00:15:45,144 - There's no need to clarify - Oh, no? 266 00:15:45,408 --> 00:15:48,798 Just let it grow More and more each day 267 00:15:49,079 --> 00:15:51,798 It's like I've married my best friend 268 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:55,430 - But in a totally manly way - Let's go 269 00:15:55,710 --> 00:15:59,020 It's guy love, don't compromise 270 00:15:59,297 --> 00:16:02,733 The feeling of some other guy 271 00:16:03,009 --> 00:16:07,764 Holding up your heart into the sky 272 00:16:09,349 --> 00:16:12,625 I'll be there to care through all the lows 273 00:16:12,894 --> 00:16:16,853 I'll be there to share the highs 274 00:16:17,941 --> 00:16:23,857 - It's guy love between two guys - It's guy love between two guys 275 00:16:25,073 --> 00:16:28,190 And when I say, "I love you, Turk" 276 00:16:28,451 --> 00:16:33,127 It's not what it implies 277 00:16:35,083 --> 00:16:37,472 - It's guy love - It's guy love 278 00:16:37,711 --> 00:16:42,102 - Between two - Between two 279 00:16:43,299 --> 00:16:47,258 - Guys - Guys 280 00:16:47,887 --> 00:16:49,081 No hands. 281 00:16:57,731 --> 00:16:59,244 Okay, I'll go first. 282 00:16:59,441 --> 00:17:01,079 J.D., I want to live by myself. 283 00:17:01,276 --> 00:17:04,791 Okay, no problem. Turk, will you relay this? 284 00:17:05,780 --> 00:17:07,418 That means you guys are no longer talking. 285 00:17:07,615 --> 00:17:08,730 J. D! 286 00:17:08,908 --> 00:17:11,024 Wait a second, what did she mean, she'll go first? 287 00:17:11,244 --> 00:17:14,680 Turk, I want to come back to work. It's who I am. 288 00:17:14,956 --> 00:17:16,787 Well, I always thought family was the most important thing 289 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,592 to Puerto Ricans. 290 00:17:21,254 --> 00:17:24,371 I've had it up to here So let me make it very clear 291 00:17:24,632 --> 00:17:27,624 Because I swear I'll never clue you in again 292 00:17:27,886 --> 00:17:30,400 Every time that you profess I come from Puerto Rico 293 00:17:30,638 --> 00:17:31,627 Yes? 294 00:17:31,806 --> 00:17:35,082 For the last time, Turk, I'm Dominican! 295 00:17:36,728 --> 00:17:39,845 Don't make a big to-do I was simply testing you 296 00:17:40,106 --> 00:17:43,098 Then why'd you tell J.D. Our baby's Blaxican? 297 00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:44,793 Babe, you know I know the truth 298 00:17:44,986 --> 00:17:46,578 Well, I need a little proof 299 00:17:46,780 --> 00:17:50,090 So list all you know about me Or no sex again 300 00:17:50,367 --> 00:17:53,325 - Let's see, your name is Carla - Oh, yes 301 00:17:53,578 --> 00:17:55,011 - You are Latina - Impressive 302 00:17:55,205 --> 00:17:58,481 You're a nurse, your mother's dead And... Wait, I've got it 303 00:17:58,750 --> 00:18:00,308 - Three sisters - Turk! 304 00:18:00,502 --> 00:18:05,337 Two sisters? Well, I'm sure you have A brother who's a huge jerk-off 305 00:18:05,674 --> 00:18:06,948 Tell me, what's my middle name? 306 00:18:07,133 --> 00:18:08,851 Okay, I'm tired of this game 307 00:18:09,052 --> 00:18:12,203 Let's forget it, I give up I guess you win again 308 00:18:12,472 --> 00:18:15,987 But it's not just me who gets mixed up By all this crazy ethnic stuff 309 00:18:16,267 --> 00:18:19,020 Sorry, even I know she's Dominican 310 00:18:19,270 --> 00:18:22,660 Did I grow up in Illinois Or was it Michigan? 311 00:18:22,941 --> 00:18:25,819 How long before we met Was I in medicine? 312 00:18:26,069 --> 00:18:28,947 Was our wedding song The Beatles or Led Zeppelin? 313 00:18:29,531 --> 00:18:32,807 Am I freakin' Puerto Rican Or Dominican? 314 00:18:33,076 --> 00:18:35,795 The thing is guys remember facts 315 00:18:36,037 --> 00:18:39,393 Like what Derek Jeter hit last year Which was. 303 316 00:18:39,666 --> 00:18:42,783 And that is why our brains are maxed 317 00:18:43,044 --> 00:18:46,719 And there's no room for things like Birthdays or ethnicities 318 00:18:47,007 --> 00:18:50,158 Well, thank you for that glimpse Into the workings of the inner man 319 00:18:50,427 --> 00:18:52,622 Let's talk about your job And not the fact that you're 320 00:18:52,846 --> 00:18:53,835 Dominican! 321 00:18:54,014 --> 00:18:55,129 You're not staying home from work? 322 00:18:55,306 --> 00:18:56,819 Will that make you happy, Turk? 323 00:18:57,017 --> 00:19:00,168 I'll support you if you choose To earn the Benjamins 324 00:19:00,437 --> 00:19:03,668 Then I'll return to work today Now, you're sure that that's okay? 325 00:19:03,940 --> 00:19:06,898 I say, "Si" Which is "yes" in Dominican 326 00:19:07,152 --> 00:19:08,710 - And Puerto Rican - Turk! 327 00:19:08,903 --> 00:19:11,292 But you're Dominican! 328 00:19:11,906 --> 00:19:16,696 Look, J.D., I don't want to let you down when your life is so crappy. 329 00:19:17,037 --> 00:19:19,597 - Move in with me. - No, Elliot, it's okay. 330 00:19:19,831 --> 00:19:21,628 I was just feeling sorry for myself. 331 00:19:21,833 --> 00:19:23,664 Plus, it's about time you lived on your own. 332 00:19:23,877 --> 00:19:26,266 You're closer to 40 than 30. 333 00:19:26,504 --> 00:19:28,460 - J.D., I'm 29. - I'm playing with you. 334 00:19:28,673 --> 00:19:31,141 Listen, we're gonna be fine. You know why? 335 00:19:31,384 --> 00:19:37,300 We'll be friends forever We're going to be friends forever 336 00:19:37,682 --> 00:19:41,391 We will always be true 337 00:19:41,686 --> 00:19:45,645 Friends forever We're going to be friends forever 338 00:19:45,940 --> 00:19:49,569 I'll always be there for you 339 00:19:49,861 --> 00:19:51,499 We're as close as 340 00:19:51,696 --> 00:19:53,527 The vena cava and the aorta 341 00:19:53,740 --> 00:19:55,492 We're best friends just like 342 00:19:55,700 --> 00:19:57,258 Amoxicillin and clavulanic acid 343 00:19:57,452 --> 00:19:59,044 The tibia, the fibula The left and right ventricle 344 00:19:59,245 --> 00:20:01,201 A hypodermic needle And a latex tourniquet 345 00:20:01,414 --> 00:20:03,450 Diverticulitis and a barium enema 346 00:20:03,667 --> 00:20:05,419 The vena cava and the aorta 347 00:20:05,627 --> 00:20:07,265 Amoxicillin and clavulanic acid 348 00:20:07,462 --> 00:20:09,373 The tibia, the fibula The left and right ventricle 349 00:20:09,589 --> 00:20:11,307 A hypodermic needle And a latex tourniquet 350 00:20:11,508 --> 00:20:13,499 The vena cava and the aorta 351 00:20:13,718 --> 00:20:15,197 Amoxicillin and clavulanic acid 352 00:20:15,387 --> 00:20:17,264 The tibia, the fibula The left and right ventricle 353 00:20:17,472 --> 00:20:19,190 A hypodermic needle and a... 354 00:20:22,185 --> 00:20:26,417 What's going to happen? What does the future hold? 355 00:20:26,731 --> 00:20:29,882 So many things that I put off 356 00:20:30,151 --> 00:20:34,861 Assuming I'd have time 357 00:20:35,198 --> 00:20:38,634 Assuming I'd grow old 358 00:20:38,910 --> 00:20:41,868 What's going to happen 359 00:20:42,122 --> 00:20:46,718 And will I be alive tomorrow? 360 00:20:47,043 --> 00:20:52,834 What's going to happen to me? 361 00:20:55,385 --> 00:20:57,660 You're going to be okay 362 00:20:57,887 --> 00:21:00,037 - That's what's going to happen - That's what's going to happen 363 00:21:00,265 --> 00:21:06,704 Everything's okay We're right here beside you 364 00:21:07,105 --> 00:21:13,624 We won't let you slip away Plan for tomorrow 365 00:21:14,195 --> 00:21:20,543 'Cause we swear to you You're going to be okay 366 00:21:24,331 --> 00:21:26,401 I'm going to be okay 367 00:21:26,624 --> 00:21:28,933 - That's what's going to happen - That's what's going to happen 368 00:21:29,169 --> 00:21:33,401 - Everything's okay - Everything's okay 369 00:21:33,715 --> 00:21:38,391 We will never leave you Right here we will stay 370 00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:42,633 - Plan for tomorrow - Plan for tomorrow 371 00:21:42,932 --> 00:21:45,400 'Cause we swear to you 372 00:21:45,643 --> 00:21:50,319 You're going to be okay 373 00:21:52,567 --> 00:21:54,922 We hope 374 00:22:02,827 --> 00:22:06,183 - Did it work? - You're gonna have to tell us. 375 00:22:11,586 --> 00:22:13,304 Thank you. 376 00:22:13,505 --> 00:22:16,975 By the way, who was the best singer? You know, like, in your head? 377 00:22:17,258 --> 00:22:20,568 Don't let the fact that I went to theatre camp affect your decision. 378 00:22:20,845 --> 00:22:23,234 In musicals, there's always a happy ending. 379 00:22:23,473 --> 00:22:27,705 But in life, sometimes when you get what you want, 380 00:22:28,019 --> 00:22:30,772 you end up missing what you left behind. 381 00:22:32,982 --> 00:22:35,177 Whether it's your roommate... 382 00:22:36,319 --> 00:22:38,913 I'll see you in a little while, okay. 383 00:22:39,155 --> 00:22:41,430 ...or time spent with your child. 384 00:22:44,369 --> 00:22:48,408 Or even the music you used to hear in your head.