1 00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:05,430 When a terminal patient seems to have given up, 2 00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:08,232 a good doctor will try anything to keep them going. 3 00:00:08,466 --> 00:00:11,299 Betty, there's got to be something I can do to cheer you up. 4 00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:13,464 I just wish I could see my dog. 5 00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:15,807 So I'd just bring the dog in for a quick visit. 6 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:18,166 It would mean the world to her. 7 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,524 Ever since Elliot went into private practise, 8 00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:23,084 Dr Kelso refused to speak to her. 9 00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:24,542 He wouldn't say hello. 10 00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:26,291 Good morning, Dr Kelso. 11 00:00:27,944 --> 00:00:30,697 He wouldn't even say, "Watch out for that bucket. " 12 00:00:30,947 --> 00:00:33,097 See you. I've got to go give an endocrinology lecture. 13 00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:36,934 I got you. 14 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,110 My bad. 15 00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:44,681 But Elliot didn't let it get to her. 16 00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:48,568 Okay, let's talk about ectopic ACTH-secreting tumors. 17 00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,683 Guys, cell phones off, please. 18 00:00:51,968 --> 00:00:55,165 She didn't help things by bringing up Kelso's dead dog. 19 00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:59,139 Oh, come on, you brought Baxter to the hospital when he was alive. 20 00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:01,390 Did you want to ask me something? 21 00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:04,481 Can a doctor bring a patient's dog into the hospital for a visit? 22 00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,767 I'm going to say the same thing I said to my new gardener 23 00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:09,736 when he asked me for Easter off. "No way, Jose. " 24 00:01:09,986 --> 00:01:12,454 His name's actually Jose. That's why I hired him. 25 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:16,254 Look, so we just hired a new nanny, and she is super hot. 26 00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:18,961 Please don't make a big deal out of this, or Carla will go crazy. 27 00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:23,277 Turk, who are you talking to? I've seen a lot of hot girls. I know how... 28 00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:29,323 Oh, my God. 29 00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:31,428 We're going for a run with Izzy. 30 00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:33,942 - Oh, J.D., this is Heather. - Hi, how are you? 31 00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:35,292 What's up? 32 00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:37,062 Oh, my God, she's so hot, I have to go hug her "hello. " 33 00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:39,094 - Keep it together. - I can't, I'm gonna make a scene. 34 00:01:39,307 --> 00:01:40,820 Just grab my leg. Grab my leg. 35 00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:42,829 See you later. 36 00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:47,330 - I'm light-headed. - I can't feel my leg. 37 00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:49,480 - I'm light-headed. - I can't feel my... 38 00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:51,865 You know what, it's too dark out. 39 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,751 I just realised, this tank top's a little see-through. 40 00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:58,356 Go ahead. 41 00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:20,819 Thank you so much for helping me sneak Boomer in, Janitor. 42 00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:22,854 No problem. Here you go, boy. 43 00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:25,175 - Okay, boy, okay. - Oh, what a good boy! 44 00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:27,863 Wait, what happened to all of your cleaning supplies? 45 00:02:28,106 --> 00:02:29,937 Actually, that's a very funny story. 46 00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:32,519 And? 47 00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:34,491 Nothing. I'm just looking at my cleaning supplies. 48 00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:37,927 I got drunk last night and threw them up in that tree. 49 00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:42,086 Anyway, let's do this. Just stay cool. 50 00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:43,477 No problemo. 51 00:02:44,956 --> 00:02:46,753 Top of the morning, Dr Walter Mickhead. 52 00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:49,711 Snoop Dogg Resident, when we hitting the clubs, yo? 53 00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:52,873 Oh, Colonel Doctor, that tie looks finger-lickin' good. 54 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,368 Wow, so natural. Did you act in college? 55 00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,230 - I did, thank you. - I can tell. 56 00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,895 Hey, Carla. Check it out. 57 00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:03,770 - He's so cute! - Heads up, here comes trouble. 58 00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:06,717 Oh, no. Don't worry. 59 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:09,807 Dr Kelso never makes eye contact with the patients. 60 00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:11,418 Morning, sir. 61 00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:21,409 Right. Hello again, sir. 62 00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:24,454 Nice job, Mr Berkland. 63 00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:29,535 Since Jordan had pre-natal surgery, she'd been on bed rest. 64 00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:31,067 Dr Cox, however, was not. 65 00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:34,562 Okay, I made you breakfast, the kitchen's as clean as a whistle, 66 00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:37,114 I'm gonna drop Jack off at daycare on the way to work. 67 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:39,731 Is there anything else I can do for you? 68 00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:41,448 I need you to go to the video store 69 00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,993 and get me anything with Viggo something-sen. 70 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,897 I need white chocolate, strawberry seltzer, peppercorn brie 71 00:03:47,143 --> 00:03:49,099 and a Polaroid of the tomato plant that I planted last spring 72 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,268 because I'm worried it may have snails. 73 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:53,597 Oh, and if you see that neighbour, Lena, from down the hall, 74 00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:56,206 I want you to roll your eyes and say the word "slut" under your breath, 75 00:03:56,444 --> 00:03:58,002 but loud enough so she can hear. 76 00:03:58,196 --> 00:03:59,948 And don't forget to be home by 6:30 77 00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:02,954 because you gotta give Jack his bath before you make my dinner. 78 00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:05,840 But when will I have time to kill myself? 79 00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:07,873 That's not my problem. 80 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,414 You know what sucks about having a hot nanny? 81 00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:15,460 I can't even look at Heather without Carla going ballistic. 82 00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:17,944 Sceptical air-five. 83 00:04:18,174 --> 00:04:19,323 She can't be that hot. 84 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:22,819 Oh, really? Because I just so happen to have a video from my nanny-cam 85 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,814 that begs to differ. 86 00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:27,290 My mom put a nanny-cam in our bathroom. 87 00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,667 She said my baths were too long. 88 00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:33,830 Fire up the smut. 89 00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:37,144 How did you assemble everybody so quickly? 90 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:38,839 Oh, I got the word out. 91 00:04:41,906 --> 00:04:46,775 Booby! 92 00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:50,954 Booby! 93 00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:54,769 Booby! 94 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,918 We did everything we could for your mom, 95 00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,689 but sometimes life just... 96 00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:01,396 Booby! 97 00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:03,345 Got to go. Booby horn. 98 00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:08,403 Here they come! 99 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:17,487 God, Keith and I haven't had sex in so long. 100 00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:20,328 Okay, you said the same thing when you saw me changing Izzy's diaper. 101 00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,526 What are you and Keith doing to each other? 102 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:25,458 Oh, thank you so much, Dr Reid. 103 00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:29,033 Can you believe how different she looks? 104 00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:32,078 I mean, thanks to Boomer, Betty has more energy, her vitals have improved. 105 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,892 If we keep this up, she might even get home and have a few more months. 106 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:36,400 Move. 107 00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:38,235 What's up your butt? 108 00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:40,776 Yeah, what is all up in there? 109 00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:44,158 Why don't you hop aboard the What's-up-Dr. -Cox's-butt Trolley, 110 00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:46,497 and we can begin our tour. 111 00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:50,077 Coming up on the left is my bloated, bed-ridden ex-wife 112 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,625 who's not allowed to lift a finger, which, 113 00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:56,083 thankfully, leaves it all up to these guys. 114 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,666 Now, if you'll look to your right, you'll see my waning libido, 115 00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,377 my crushed soul and my very last nerve, 116 00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:06,002 which I would advise you not to get on, under or even close to. 117 00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:08,921 Does it help to know that Jesus loves you? 118 00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:10,521 It does not. 119 00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:13,179 Well, everything happens for a reason. 120 00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:14,894 Are you really trying to tell me 121 00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:18,359 that things like New Orleans, AIDS, sugar-free ice cream, crack babies, 122 00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:21,381 Hugh Jackman and cancer all happen for a reason? 123 00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:25,021 Because I'm sorry, I'm... I'm just not buying that. 124 00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:29,670 "God works all things for good. " Romans, 8:28. 125 00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:31,701 Bull dinky. 126 00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:35,130 Perry Cox, 6'1 ". A buck eighty-five after lunch. 127 00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:43,024 What's the matter? You're so fussy. 128 00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,367 Why are you so fussy? 129 00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:49,735 I'd let her give me a bath, I don't care if my mom was watching. 130 00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:53,443 Could you make her eat a banana? 131 00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:55,786 It's not interactive, Todd. 132 00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:58,316 There it is! 133 00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:00,636 There it is, let me... 134 00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:03,863 Hey, baby! 135 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,846 - What are you guys watching? - Football. 136 00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:07,643 - Yeah, football. - Yeah, football. 137 00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:09,755 - Good game, good game. - Football. Yeah. 138 00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:14,669 Football? Isn't the season over? 139 00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:18,169 And then every male in the room fell totally in sync, 140 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,906 resulting in the rarest of all phenomenon, 141 00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:23,617 the seamless, collaborative guy-lie. 142 00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:26,932 The American season is over. We were watching Mexican football. 143 00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:29,711 - They started late this year. - Because of the churro vendors. 144 00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:32,622 They went on strike and the players wouldn't cross the picket line. 145 00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:36,225 When the dispute turned violent, they called in Rodrigo Vasquez, 146 00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:38,648 the owner of the Baja Banditos, to step in. 147 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:42,993 Thanks to Senor Vasquez's experience dealing with the fruit-pickers' unions, 148 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:46,766 he was able to broker a last-minute deal, and the season was salvaged. 149 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:50,539 And that's why we're watching football in the spring. 150 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:51,998 Whatever. 151 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,869 And then Turk gave us the slightest of nods, 152 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:59,537 which was the universal man-sign for, "Well done, men. She'll never know. " 153 00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:08,116 Turk, what the hell? 154 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:13,360 Janitor, thank you so much for helping me sneak Boomer in again today. 155 00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:16,894 No problem. I once snuck a mongoose in this thing to kill all the snakes. 156 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:20,314 - Why were there snakes in here? - I snuck them in to kill all the mice. 157 00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:21,902 Where's the disinfectant, Lurch? 158 00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:25,361 I spilled soda on my desk this morning, and now it's all sticky. 159 00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:28,144 Well, I'm all out. Here, use this. 160 00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:30,977 You want me to clean soda with soda? 161 00:08:31,219 --> 00:08:32,891 Are you questioning the way I do my job? 162 00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:35,735 Did I question you when you did iliac bone marrow autopsy 163 00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:38,568 and failed to anesthetise the periosteum adequately? 164 00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:41,119 No. No, you didn't. 165 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:47,216 Hey, the little fellow figured out the latch. 166 00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:48,964 Just like the snakes. 167 00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:54,902 Well, if it isn't Nurse "Everything Happens For A Reason. " 168 00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:57,412 Oh, gosh darn it! 169 00:08:57,996 --> 00:08:59,793 I went ahead and spilled a little coffee. 170 00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,558 I wonder what the reason was for that? 171 00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:09,079 Okay, I am not moving until you at least offer to help me up. 172 00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:12,617 There is no rhyme or reason to anything, 173 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,604 why can't you just get that? 174 00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:18,035 Why is it so important that everyone believes what you do? 175 00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:21,539 Because I'm right, and I'm the only one with any proof. 176 00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:23,707 I'm still down here! 177 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,889 You don't need proof when the good Lord fills your heart with faith. 178 00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:28,378 Oh, my God. 179 00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:31,613 Thank you for that, Noelle. 180 00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:34,494 You can keep on huffing and puffing all you want to, 181 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:37,050 you're never gonna change the way I feel. 182 00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:39,640 Oh, please! I am so angry right now... 183 00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:42,339 You know what? We're no longer speaking! 184 00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:45,755 Guys, I need some help over here. 185 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,315 There are lots of different ways to win an argument. 186 00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,059 You can win it with an ultimatum. 187 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:53,328 I interviewed 23 girls until I found Heather, 188 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:57,711 but if I ever catch you eyeballing her again, I will fire her tight little butt. 189 00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:00,403 And then you'll get to spend every waking moment 190 00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:03,110 interviewing the next 23 fugly-ass candidates 191 00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:05,344 until we find another good one. 192 00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:09,101 You can try to win it with logic. 193 00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:11,672 Tell Dr Kelso that I know it's against hospital policy 194 00:10:11,903 --> 00:10:14,861 but that this dog has literally helped keep Mrs Dombrow alive. 195 00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:20,067 Mrs Dombrow passed away this morning at 4:00 a. m. 196 00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:24,082 Tell Dr Reid there will be consequences for her insubordination, 197 00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:25,807 and say it with this face. 198 00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:30,486 But the best way to win an argument 199 00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:32,708 is to simply leave your opponent speechless. 200 00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:35,358 Patient was stabbed by a guy in a grocery store. 201 00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:37,424 She's eight years old. 202 00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:41,630 Why don't you go ahead and tell me what the reason is for this? 203 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,476 Then... 204 00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:51,136 I blew Laverne's argument clean out of the water when I asked her 205 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,915 why an eight-year-old got knifed. 206 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,382 Oh, my God, that is so lucky. 207 00:10:55,572 --> 00:11:00,282 I know. I was thrilled, but then Laverne ruined everything. 208 00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:03,534 There's a reason for this. 209 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,548 God's gonna show us eventually. 210 00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:07,898 It's infuriating. 211 00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:09,642 I must break her. 212 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,626 That feels so good. 213 00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:16,123 I can't believe I'm about to say this, Per, 214 00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:20,575 but what the hell. You know how I can never use the word "love" 215 00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:22,083 except in a sarcastic way, 216 00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:26,941 like, "I love other people's kids," or, "I love that haircut!" 217 00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:29,500 By the way, love that haircut, Per! 218 00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:31,130 Everybody does. 219 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:35,418 I just wanted to let you know that 220 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:40,966 you've really been there for me these past few weeks, and 221 00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:45,489 I'm really glad I have you. 222 00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,573 That was embarrassing for you. 223 00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:51,590 I know, and I don't care. 224 00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:58,452 What's he smiling about? 225 00:11:58,635 --> 00:11:59,988 Because of the dog thing, 226 00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:02,692 Dr Kelso wants me to tell you that he has informed your office 227 00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:06,048 that you're temporarily suspended from practicing at Sacred Heart. 228 00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:08,777 Just so you know, I told him he was being ridiculous. 229 00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:10,055 What did he say? 230 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,619 He said, "Careful, Jumpsuit. Who signs your paychecks?" 231 00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:16,167 And I said, "I don't know. The Chief Accountant, Charles Fickinson 232 00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:18,002 "or Dickinson or something, I can't read the signature. 233 00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:21,154 "And, for the hundredth time, this is not a jumpsuit, it's a shirt and a pants. 234 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:22,727 "Who wears a belt with a jumpsuit?" 235 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:25,582 - And he says, "I may not have the... " - Random nurse, 236 00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:28,582 could you please send out a memo that unauthorised personnel 237 00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:31,062 are not allowed in the hospital? 238 00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:36,411 Oh, here's Heather. 239 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:39,547 Why don't you look away and think about the kind of husband you are? 240 00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:41,917 Look who's here, Izzy. 241 00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:45,334 She's been a little fussy, so I'm going to walk her to the car with you, okay? 242 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:46,826 - See you, Mr Turk. - See you. 243 00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:51,135 You know, Heather? I actually have a little nanny-related question. 244 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:55,859 Does a spoonful of sugar really make the medicine go down? 245 00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,809 You know what? Sometimes it does. 246 00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:02,226 That was totally worth the six hours I spent last night writing that. 247 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:04,799 All right, look, I need you to do me a solid. 248 00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:06,309 Ask Heather out on a date. 249 00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,962 Don't worry, buddy. You know how I roll. 250 00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:12,720 I start with a couple off-the-cuff jokes just like that one. 251 00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:15,435 Next up, I need you to find out if she's allergic to anything. 252 00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,626 That way, I'll say I'm allergic to the same thing. 253 00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:21,388 Women love that. "Gluten! Me, too! We can eat together. " 254 00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:24,668 Thirdly, if I lose a patient, I'll be able to cry 255 00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:27,204 like I just watched Extreme Home Makeover. 256 00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:29,388 If everything goes according to plan, 257 00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:31,831 I should be out with her on a casual, 258 00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:35,577 not-a-real-date, just-two-friends- having-a-beer-talking-about-their-lives 259 00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:38,166 thing in about seven to nine weeks. 260 00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:40,153 I need you to ask her on a date right now. 261 00:13:40,362 --> 00:13:43,320 I never told you this before, but any time you hook up with a chick, 262 00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:45,450 she automatically becomes hideous to me. 263 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,455 - Really? - Hey, guys. 264 00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:53,811 - Have you seen Carla? - Yeah, she just went outside. 265 00:13:54,084 --> 00:13:57,474 Thanks. I'm having a horrible fricking day. 266 00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:58,982 I'll say. 267 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,179 You don't see that? 268 00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:10,559 Laverne, excuse me, this is... This is Mr Peterson. 269 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,522 He's that young lady's father. 270 00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:16,561 As you can imagine, he's having a pretty tough time with all of this. 271 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,324 And since you believe that everything happens for a reason, 272 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:23,401 I was hoping you'd be able to tell him why this happened. 273 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,113 That's not her dad. That's the delivery guy in a sweater. 274 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,437 - My name's Lloyd. - Stay in character. 275 00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:31,219 She's my world! 276 00:14:31,413 --> 00:14:35,452 Okay, imagine that this idiot were her father. 277 00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:37,153 What the hell would you say to him? 278 00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:39,485 Oh, my God! There's a tumour the size of a golf ball 279 00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:41,385 right where the knife went in. 280 00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:43,659 If we hadn't found this, she'd be a goner. 281 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,521 I think that's what I'd say. 282 00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:49,492 - How'd we do? - Great. Go. 283 00:14:55,937 --> 00:14:57,689 So until Kelso reinstates me here, 284 00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,536 my practise has me doing house calls on all their rich clients. 285 00:15:00,775 --> 00:15:02,413 During the last one, I'm taking the woman's vitals 286 00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:06,080 and her grandson kept trying to poke his tiny little finger up my butt. 287 00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:09,481 - Kids, huh? - He's 41, Carla. 288 00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:11,540 He just has very small hands. 289 00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:13,064 Well, that's not right. 290 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,998 Can you believe Kelso? 291 00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:17,356 Dr Kelso's just angry, Elliot. 292 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,636 I mean, have you ever considered it from his side? 293 00:15:20,879 --> 00:15:24,110 His hospital trains you for five years, and you go get a better job. 294 00:15:24,382 --> 00:15:28,261 Which is great! But, I mean, let me ask you this. 295 00:15:29,304 --> 00:15:31,181 Have you ever once thanked him? 296 00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:38,143 - So how was your date with Heather? - It was touch-and-go at the end. 297 00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:43,614 - I had a really good time tonight. - Thanks. Me, too. 298 00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:47,827 But I knew you needed me, so I went for it, Italian-style. 299 00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:50,742 That's not what you want. 300 00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:55,463 And just when it couldn't get any better... 301 00:15:56,498 --> 00:15:57,613 J. D? 302 00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:03,057 Oh, my God. Chad Miller, Danny Murphy, Jim Stegger? 303 00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:06,372 The three football players who used to beat me up in high school. 304 00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:08,703 Looks like we were wrong about you, man. 305 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,222 What are you guys up to now? 306 00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:14,227 We're all gay together. 307 00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:18,516 - Do you remember Kristin Fisher? - Of course! 308 00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:21,045 You turned me down for homecoming and prom, 309 00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:23,103 even though I didn't ask you to either one. 310 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:26,308 Well, I'd love to make it up to you and have sex with both of you. 311 00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:28,207 If that's all right with you, Heather. 312 00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:30,077 As long as we make it all about J.D. 313 00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:31,509 Sure! 314 00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:33,557 Come on in. 315 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,885 Enough of this, let's go bang. 316 00:16:43,294 --> 00:16:48,004 And that's why Heather will never look attractive to you again. 317 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:50,218 - Come on, buddy. - Where did I lose you? 318 00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,497 How did Kristin know Heather's name? 319 00:16:52,721 --> 00:16:55,235 - Damn, you're good! - Yeah. 320 00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:58,510 We went line dancing, and I cut her with one of my spurs. 321 00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:00,247 I'm sorry, buddy. 322 00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:02,428 All right, baby, here it is. 323 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:05,283 Our nanny is very attractive, 324 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:08,642 but you and I, we're married, our relationship is rock-solid. 325 00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:11,250 So I think we both know it's no big deal 326 00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:13,598 if I look at her every once in a while, right? 327 00:17:16,328 --> 00:17:18,888 Heather, we're gonna have to let you go. 328 00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:21,476 So sorry. 329 00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:30,011 Dr Kelso, I need to talk to you, and I know that you won't speak to me, 330 00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:33,011 but that's okay, because I just need you to listen. 331 00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:37,015 You're a scary, scary man, and because I've been petrified of you, 332 00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:39,946 I've stayed up every night for five years studying medical books 333 00:17:40,185 --> 00:17:42,858 which I can pretty much now recite in my sleep. 334 00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:45,334 I don't have a husband or kids, 335 00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:49,274 and the last movie I went to see was The Blair Witch Project, 336 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:52,447 which is the main reason I've stopped camping. 337 00:17:53,156 --> 00:17:55,909 That and the time a wolf mounted me... 338 00:17:57,118 --> 00:18:01,396 My point is you've helped push me to become the doctor that I am today. 339 00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:05,179 And for that, I want to thank you. 340 00:18:06,628 --> 00:18:10,416 One more thing. I'm sure that no dog could ever replace Baxter, 341 00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:14,143 but this little guy needs a home. 342 00:18:14,386 --> 00:18:18,015 If you decide you don't want him, just bring him back to me. 343 00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:30,216 - That was a coincidence. - What? 344 00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,999 That knife, it just happened to go into the exact right spot. 345 00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:35,035 You do not get a win for dumb luck. 346 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:39,438 Look, if that's the way you choose to see the world, then so be it, 347 00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:42,861 but don't you dare try to take this away from me. 348 00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:46,081 I've been coming in here every day for 24 years, 349 00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:49,849 watching children die and seeing good people suffer, 350 00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:53,440 and if I quit believing that there was a bigger plan behind all this, well, 351 00:18:53,717 --> 00:18:55,230 I just wouldn't be able to show up tomorrow. 352 00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:56,940 So just stop it! 353 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,435 - I'm sorry. - It's okay. 354 00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:03,965 You'd be surprised 355 00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:07,056 how many bad things happen around here for a reason. 356 00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,588 Well, I wish I could believe that. 357 00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:14,317 It was awful that Jordan had to have pre-natal surgery, 358 00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:16,728 but how have you two been since then? 359 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,614 I'm really glad I have you. 360 00:19:21,578 --> 00:19:23,091 Better than ever. 361 00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:25,187 Good night. 362 00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:29,089 So maybe sometimes bad things do happen for a reason. 363 00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:31,247 Like your hot nanny getting fired. 364 00:19:31,463 --> 00:19:33,055 Turk, look at this! 365 00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:38,375 You know, for a half-breed baby, 366 00:19:38,553 --> 00:19:40,987 your parents have some pretty nice stuff. 367 00:19:43,767 --> 00:19:45,439 She was a racist thief. 368 00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:47,918 A smoking-hot racist thief. 369 00:19:49,898 --> 00:19:51,251 You look pretty. 370 00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:54,160 Or how getting suspended can get a relationship back on track. 371 00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:55,630 Dr Reid! 372 00:19:57,572 --> 00:19:59,642 Consider your suspension over. 373 00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:04,295 That said, you're still a ridiculous excuse for a doctor. 374 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,052 He talked to me. 375 00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:14,692 Or how facing a tough situation can bring you closer together. 376 00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:17,603 - How's that baby? - She's hanging in there. 377 00:20:22,806 --> 00:20:24,842 Be careful, though, because around here, 378 00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:27,367 if you start believing that bad things happen for a reason, 379 00:20:27,602 --> 00:20:30,116 it hurts that much more when they don't. 380 00:20:30,355 --> 00:20:32,471 What's with all the sad faces? 381 00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:35,891 Laverne was in a car accident on her way to work. 382 00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:39,467 She's in a coma and unresponsive.