1 00:00:05,812 --> 00:00:07,006 There we were, 2 00:00:07,189 --> 00:00:10,625 Elliot's friend Melody and I, witnessing this moment. 3 00:00:11,735 --> 00:00:14,568 Yes! Oh, my God, yes! 4 00:00:14,988 --> 00:00:16,785 Awesome, awesome! Okay. 5 00:00:19,326 --> 00:00:21,203 This is so romantic. 6 00:00:23,497 --> 00:00:26,728 Okay, it's a little tight. Just push a little harder. 7 00:00:28,668 --> 00:00:30,738 Got a little skin there. No problem. 8 00:00:33,006 --> 00:00:34,519 Here come the "fricks. " 9 00:00:35,050 --> 00:00:37,610 Just get the motherfricking ring on my motherfricking finger! 10 00:00:37,844 --> 00:00:39,197 Frick! Frick! Frick! 11 00:00:40,305 --> 00:00:41,977 It needs to be resized. 12 00:00:42,349 --> 00:00:45,307 Okay, Keith, sweetie, you know how I'm crazy, right? 13 00:00:45,727 --> 00:00:48,002 - Definitely. - Oh, thank goodness. 14 00:00:48,230 --> 00:00:51,063 Because, I am so sorry, but I'm just going to have to take back my "Yes. " 15 00:00:51,316 --> 00:00:53,307 You see, you have to understand, I have dreamt about this moment 16 00:00:53,527 --> 00:00:55,119 since I was a very little girl, 17 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:57,038 and the ring fit perfectly, 18 00:00:57,239 --> 00:00:59,230 my eyes welled up, and I said, 19 00:00:59,449 --> 00:01:03,727 "Yes! Oh, my God, yes!" with exactly that inflection. 20 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:06,433 I'll fix it. 21 00:01:07,290 --> 00:01:09,121 Just tell me when you want me to ask you again. 22 00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:12,633 You mean, you'd let me plan out my own proposal? 23 00:01:13,088 --> 00:01:14,077 Sure. 24 00:01:15,382 --> 00:01:16,451 Yes! Sweet! 25 00:01:17,634 --> 00:01:19,943 Okay, we've only got two days, people. Melody, you're on decorations. 26 00:01:20,178 --> 00:01:21,896 Jordan, you'll come up with my look. 27 00:01:22,097 --> 00:01:23,291 If I can get you an appointment, 28 00:01:23,473 --> 00:01:25,987 will you have your armpits Botoxed so they don't sweat? 29 00:01:26,226 --> 00:01:27,864 Because otherwise I'm very limited. 30 00:01:28,645 --> 00:01:31,398 I'm open to it. Carla, you're in charge of the guest list. 31 00:01:31,648 --> 00:01:33,798 Just make sure that all of my friends are there. 32 00:01:34,025 --> 00:01:35,936 Oh, and Naomi, that bitch from Radiology, 33 00:01:36,361 --> 00:01:37,396 she's teased me for six years 34 00:01:37,571 --> 00:01:38,720 about how she's going to beat me down the aisle. 35 00:01:38,905 --> 00:01:40,304 Well, she can suck it, 36 00:01:40,490 --> 00:01:43,050 - her and her fat neck. - Invite Fat Neck. Got it. 37 00:01:43,410 --> 00:01:44,604 If you point out Fat Neck to me, 38 00:01:44,786 --> 00:01:47,903 I'll keep asking her why she's still single until she cries. 39 00:01:48,415 --> 00:01:49,450 Done. 40 00:01:49,708 --> 00:01:50,663 Check it. 41 00:01:50,834 --> 00:01:53,826 Not a drop of sweat, and it's like 100 degrees in here. 42 00:01:54,087 --> 00:01:56,203 We haven't really been introduced. 43 00:01:56,715 --> 00:01:59,627 Jordan. But first, smell it. 44 00:02:00,844 --> 00:02:02,072 Hey, sport. 45 00:02:02,262 --> 00:02:05,618 Sorry to hear about your placing second in the Dr Reid-a-thon. 46 00:02:06,141 --> 00:02:07,096 Sir? 47 00:02:07,267 --> 00:02:09,462 You don't have to hide it, son. 48 00:02:09,686 --> 00:02:13,156 Given your history, you must be taking her engagement pretty hard. 49 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:17,274 Sadly, it's only in the movies where the pretty girl ends up with the uggo. 50 00:02:19,529 --> 00:02:20,882 Can you believe him? 51 00:02:21,490 --> 00:02:23,446 Well, you and Elliot did go through a lot. 52 00:02:23,658 --> 00:02:24,773 You two have been on and off again 53 00:02:24,951 --> 00:02:26,862 more than Ross and Rachel from Friends. 54 00:02:27,079 --> 00:02:28,592 Please, I am nothing like Ross. 55 00:02:28,789 --> 00:02:30,302 No, of course not. 56 00:02:30,499 --> 00:02:32,729 You're Rachel, she's Ross. 57 00:02:35,670 --> 00:02:36,625 You guys are crazy. 58 00:02:36,797 --> 00:02:39,436 Nobody else in this hospital thinks I'm upset about Elliot. 59 00:02:40,675 --> 00:02:41,903 Tough break, man. 60 00:02:42,135 --> 00:02:45,332 "'Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" five. 61 00:02:46,098 --> 00:02:47,247 I know about loss, brother. 62 00:02:50,018 --> 00:02:52,373 It's like she took your heart and just... 63 00:02:53,855 --> 00:02:55,971 Doug, aren't you supposed to save those? 64 00:02:56,191 --> 00:02:57,385 Don't tell anyone. 65 00:02:57,567 --> 00:03:00,001 Okay, I'm going to head over here to vomit. 66 00:03:16,044 --> 00:03:20,162 Baby, will you do me a favour tonight that requires no effort on your part? 67 00:03:20,674 --> 00:03:21,948 Sure, what is it? 68 00:03:22,134 --> 00:03:23,772 Will you have sex with me? 69 00:03:23,969 --> 00:03:25,118 Come on! 70 00:03:25,595 --> 00:03:27,472 We haven't had relations since Izzy was born. 71 00:03:27,681 --> 00:03:29,717 Turk, I'm just not there yet. 72 00:03:29,933 --> 00:03:33,482 I mean, if you weren't emotionally ready, would you want to have sex? 73 00:03:34,062 --> 00:03:35,893 Baby, I don't even understand the question. 74 00:03:36,106 --> 00:03:37,061 Go away. 75 00:03:38,191 --> 00:03:39,146 Oh, man! 76 00:03:39,317 --> 00:03:41,148 Mrs Sheldon is the sweetest old lady, 77 00:03:41,361 --> 00:03:42,510 but I can't figure out what's wrong with her. 78 00:03:42,696 --> 00:03:43,970 She's got the most random symptoms: 79 00:03:44,156 --> 00:03:46,226 myalgia, alopecia, a rash. 80 00:03:46,450 --> 00:03:48,088 That is so weird. 81 00:03:48,285 --> 00:03:51,038 My patient, Mr Bilbray, has the same exact symptoms. 82 00:03:51,580 --> 00:03:53,218 Actually, he's my patient. 83 00:03:53,498 --> 00:03:55,056 Jamie, you're a baby intern. 84 00:03:55,250 --> 00:03:57,047 Yesterday, you asked me how to turn on your stethoscope. 85 00:03:57,252 --> 00:03:58,810 Now, go stand over there. 86 00:03:59,713 --> 00:04:01,271 You know, I bet these patients have something in common, 87 00:04:01,465 --> 00:04:03,217 like some place they've been, or eaten. 88 00:04:03,425 --> 00:04:05,097 Let's go check it out. 89 00:04:07,637 --> 00:04:10,276 Could you imagine being married to Elliot? 90 00:04:13,435 --> 00:04:16,108 Darling, do you think that we're pigeonholing the children? 91 00:04:19,107 --> 00:04:21,575 Who cares? It's not like they're ours. 92 00:04:23,153 --> 00:04:26,111 I'd have to find some tiny charts and mops, but it's do-able. 93 00:04:26,364 --> 00:04:27,592 I'll tell you what's do-able. 94 00:04:31,161 --> 00:04:32,560 Very clever. God is watching. 95 00:04:32,746 --> 00:04:35,135 How many times have you gotten laid this year? 96 00:04:35,373 --> 00:04:36,442 Bagel. 97 00:04:37,751 --> 00:04:40,265 Who'd have thought "God is watching" would work? 98 00:04:42,464 --> 00:04:43,613 Keith and I are definitely having 99 00:04:43,799 --> 00:04:46,108 some post-engagement nookie tomorrow night after the proposal. 100 00:04:46,343 --> 00:04:47,822 Did you get me those purple lacy undies? 101 00:04:48,011 --> 00:04:50,206 Yeah. Keith is going to look so hot. 102 00:04:50,430 --> 00:04:52,466 Coolio. Okay, I've got to go meet Carla. 103 00:04:54,476 --> 00:04:56,706 Well, it's official. 104 00:04:57,229 --> 00:05:00,380 I am the only single sorority sister left. 105 00:05:01,066 --> 00:05:02,294 I guess it's true what they say, 106 00:05:02,484 --> 00:05:05,317 "First one to be in a threesome, last one to get married. " 107 00:05:05,570 --> 00:05:06,719 Damn! 108 00:05:07,864 --> 00:05:10,298 I'm sorry. She just said that she was in a threesome. 109 00:05:10,534 --> 00:05:11,523 Damn! 110 00:05:12,077 --> 00:05:13,066 Damn! 111 00:05:13,245 --> 00:05:14,200 Damn! 112 00:05:14,371 --> 00:05:15,486 Damn! 113 00:05:15,664 --> 00:05:17,143 I just don't want to end up like my aunt Sheila 114 00:05:17,332 --> 00:05:18,890 and get married and have a kid when I'm 50. 115 00:05:19,084 --> 00:05:20,312 I mean, you find a tooth in that house, 116 00:05:20,502 --> 00:05:22,015 you don't know whose mouth it fell out of. 117 00:05:22,963 --> 00:05:25,113 Sometimes I wonder, you know, 118 00:05:25,340 --> 00:05:28,412 if I'm ever actually going to find someone, you know? 119 00:05:28,927 --> 00:05:30,042 Yeah. 120 00:05:30,220 --> 00:05:34,099 Now, was it two girls and a guy, or a devil's threesome? 121 00:05:34,933 --> 00:05:36,002 All-girl. 122 00:05:36,810 --> 00:05:37,845 Damn! Sorry. 123 00:05:38,019 --> 00:05:39,896 I've got to take off. 124 00:05:40,147 --> 00:05:43,025 Hey, I'm reviewing this new hotel downtown tonight for work. 125 00:05:43,275 --> 00:05:45,152 You want to join? It's all comped. 126 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:46,475 I think I'll pass. 127 00:05:47,070 --> 00:05:49,379 Oh, well. Could have been fun. 128 00:05:51,450 --> 00:05:54,203 Okay, guys. Guys! Guys! 129 00:05:54,453 --> 00:05:57,047 I'm sure he has an explanation. Go sit down. 130 00:05:57,831 --> 00:06:00,550 I'm not going to get anywhere with her. She's got this weird policy. 131 00:06:00,792 --> 00:06:01,861 She'll mack with anyone, 132 00:06:02,043 --> 00:06:04,511 but the second you try and take it further, she throws the brakes on. 133 00:06:04,755 --> 00:06:07,144 It always ends the same way. 134 00:06:09,259 --> 00:06:12,456 Great Aunt Judy's arm fat. Great Aunt Judy's arm fat. 135 00:06:15,098 --> 00:06:16,656 I'm tired of the cold showers. 136 00:06:16,850 --> 00:06:20,843 That was yesterday, when she was this confident, young hotel reviewer. 137 00:06:21,146 --> 00:06:25,378 Today she's a sad, vulnerable, last single woman standing. 138 00:06:25,692 --> 00:06:26,886 Now, are you going to create a wonderful memory 139 00:06:27,069 --> 00:06:29,299 and then secretly call me from the bathroom right after, or not? 140 00:06:29,529 --> 00:06:31,326 Turk, you know I'd like to be the one 141 00:06:31,531 --> 00:06:33,487 making the secret bathroom call for once, 142 00:06:33,700 --> 00:06:35,338 but I'm not that desperate. 143 00:06:39,581 --> 00:06:41,173 You ordered some Dorian? 144 00:06:41,708 --> 00:06:43,505 - Huh? - That's my last name. 145 00:06:44,711 --> 00:06:45,985 That's a good one! 146 00:06:46,171 --> 00:06:48,685 - I thought about it on the way up. - Come on in. 147 00:06:49,132 --> 00:06:50,485 Oh, it's on. 148 00:06:52,636 --> 00:06:56,515 Mrs Sheldon, may I just say, I hope to look as good as you when I'm 80. 149 00:06:57,099 --> 00:06:58,452 I'm 68. 150 00:06:58,892 --> 00:07:01,042 Did they not have sunscreen where you grew up? 151 00:07:01,269 --> 00:07:03,658 So, to wrap this up, 152 00:07:03,897 --> 00:07:08,049 you two live in different nursing homes and you have nothing in common. 153 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,078 Is there anything that you can tell us 154 00:07:10,278 --> 00:07:12,508 that'll help us figure out what's wrong with you? 155 00:07:12,989 --> 00:07:14,820 Last week, I got a new pair of shoes. 156 00:07:15,492 --> 00:07:16,720 That's very helpful, thank you. 157 00:07:16,910 --> 00:07:19,629 We'll just go run some more tests then. 158 00:07:21,957 --> 00:07:25,029 Hey, so I convinced the bartender to give us all the booze at your party 159 00:07:25,293 --> 00:07:26,362 for half price. 160 00:07:26,545 --> 00:07:27,580 - Yes! - Little hitch. 161 00:07:27,754 --> 00:07:29,312 You're going to have to show some boob. 162 00:07:29,506 --> 00:07:32,020 Apparently, mine did not get us all the way there. 163 00:07:32,259 --> 00:07:34,329 He has a soft touch, though. 164 00:07:34,553 --> 00:07:35,732 Lovely. 165 00:07:35,887 --> 00:07:39,721 Oh, and Per, you were wrong. Someone is dumb enough to love me. 166 00:07:42,602 --> 00:07:44,320 Where's your head right now? 167 00:07:48,734 --> 00:07:49,803 Perry, no! 168 00:07:49,985 --> 00:07:53,944 It goes cracker-apple-cheese, not cracker-cheese-apple. 169 00:07:54,239 --> 00:07:55,797 I know that we've only been married two days, Perry, 170 00:07:55,991 --> 00:07:57,709 but you should know this. 171 00:08:04,332 --> 00:08:06,687 You're going to fry for this, buddy. 172 00:08:08,962 --> 00:08:10,077 Worth it. 173 00:08:11,339 --> 00:08:13,091 Okay, you made it to the room. 174 00:08:13,300 --> 00:08:16,610 Time for the John Dorian three-step seduction plan. 175 00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:20,004 Step one, make her realise you share things in common. 176 00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:23,279 They have tampons in their toiletry basket! 177 00:08:23,518 --> 00:08:24,587 I love that. 178 00:08:24,853 --> 00:08:25,888 Me, too. 179 00:08:26,063 --> 00:08:27,542 Step one, check. 180 00:08:27,731 --> 00:08:30,404 Step two, connect with her on a personal level. 181 00:08:30,650 --> 00:08:33,005 So, Melody, where's home for you? 182 00:08:33,403 --> 00:08:37,032 Originally, Akron, Ohio, but home is where your hat is. 183 00:08:37,324 --> 00:08:38,757 That's something my dad used to always say. 184 00:08:39,618 --> 00:08:43,008 Of course, he would also say that America is a planet. 185 00:08:43,497 --> 00:08:48,366 He was in a boating accident and suffered some brain damage. 186 00:08:49,377 --> 00:08:52,255 Brain damage is rarely good. 187 00:08:53,048 --> 00:08:54,447 Tore our family apart. 188 00:08:54,633 --> 00:08:56,305 Step two, check. 189 00:08:56,510 --> 00:08:58,705 Now just remind her she's all alone. 190 00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:01,841 Elliot getting married. Crazy, right? 191 00:09:02,099 --> 00:09:04,932 I can't believe no one's ever gotten down on one knee for you. 192 00:09:05,185 --> 00:09:07,062 I know. Cute as a button. 193 00:09:07,938 --> 00:09:09,087 Yeah, you are. 194 00:09:09,272 --> 00:09:11,547 Hey, I have to check out the linens. 195 00:09:11,775 --> 00:09:13,731 Would you care to test them out with me? 196 00:09:13,944 --> 00:09:15,377 And there it is. 197 00:09:15,570 --> 00:09:18,209 I could only imagine what wonderful place 198 00:09:18,448 --> 00:09:20,404 was waiting beneath those covers. 199 00:09:24,663 --> 00:09:26,381 Greetings, strange traveller. 200 00:09:26,915 --> 00:09:29,224 Whilst thou mate with me tonight? 201 00:09:30,043 --> 00:09:31,271 All right. 202 00:09:31,461 --> 00:09:33,133 Not really sure how I'd go about doing that. 203 00:09:33,338 --> 00:09:35,169 I mean, where would I put my... 204 00:09:38,927 --> 00:09:41,043 Come on, dawg. This is a desperate mermaid. 205 00:09:41,263 --> 00:09:42,935 You've got to hit that! 206 00:09:43,265 --> 00:09:45,574 Show me where, Goat Turk, and I'd be happy to. 207 00:09:45,809 --> 00:09:46,924 Where's the front door? 208 00:09:48,562 --> 00:09:50,951 - Yeah, that's a gill. - Yeah, it is. 209 00:09:52,733 --> 00:09:54,132 Bring those horns down here. 210 00:09:54,317 --> 00:09:55,716 Oh, they're coming, baby. You can handle it? 211 00:09:55,902 --> 00:09:57,779 - Oh, I can handle it. - Oh, yeah, you can. 212 00:09:57,988 --> 00:09:59,944 Hey, Goat Turk! That's my mermaid! 213 00:10:00,574 --> 00:10:01,723 My bad. 214 00:10:03,618 --> 00:10:04,812 Incoming. 215 00:10:09,249 --> 00:10:11,683 I would characterize this mattress as springy. 216 00:10:11,918 --> 00:10:12,873 Springy. 217 00:10:13,879 --> 00:10:15,915 The test results for Mr Bilbray and Mrs Sheldon come in yet? 218 00:10:16,131 --> 00:10:17,280 Still waiting. 219 00:10:18,091 --> 00:10:19,240 What do you think of my manicure? 220 00:10:19,426 --> 00:10:21,303 - I got it for the ring. - Perfect. 221 00:10:22,763 --> 00:10:24,799 What's on today's agenda, lovey? 222 00:10:25,432 --> 00:10:28,583 Well, snookums, I'm first going to check out the market, 223 00:10:28,852 --> 00:10:30,922 then play a few holes of golf, 224 00:10:31,146 --> 00:10:33,535 and then pretend to care about underprivileged people. 225 00:10:33,774 --> 00:10:35,765 You know, the usual. 226 00:10:36,568 --> 00:10:37,967 Well, I'm off. 227 00:10:39,529 --> 00:10:41,121 And keep an eye on Lupita. 228 00:10:41,615 --> 00:10:44,413 I think some of the silver has gone missing. 229 00:10:46,661 --> 00:10:47,696 I'll talk to her. 230 00:10:48,789 --> 00:10:51,781 - Bye, snookie. - Okay, have a good day. 231 00:10:54,252 --> 00:10:56,288 You've been a naughty girl, Lupita. 232 00:10:58,757 --> 00:11:01,396 You looking fine as hell today, girl. 233 00:11:04,763 --> 00:11:06,640 - Take me! - It's going down. 234 00:11:07,974 --> 00:11:11,410 I'm so hard up, I'm fantasizing about having sex with my own wife! 235 00:11:12,604 --> 00:11:13,832 It ain't right! 236 00:11:14,106 --> 00:11:15,824 Oh, poor Turkleberry. 237 00:11:16,024 --> 00:11:17,980 He thinks he's got it hard. 238 00:11:18,318 --> 00:11:19,512 The damn Internet is down. 239 00:11:19,694 --> 00:11:22,845 Where am I supposed to go for sexual gratification? My invalid wife? 240 00:11:25,742 --> 00:11:29,098 Great. Everything came back negative on Mrs Sheldon and Mr Bilbray. 241 00:11:29,371 --> 00:11:31,089 There must be something that we're missing. 242 00:11:31,289 --> 00:11:33,564 But with you two, that would be impossible. 243 00:11:33,792 --> 00:11:35,305 Might I take a look at the chart? 244 00:11:36,128 --> 00:11:40,167 Well, it's not PMR or pan-hypo pit, and we've already ruled out malignancy. 245 00:11:40,549 --> 00:11:41,664 Well. 246 00:11:41,883 --> 00:11:44,158 Oh, yeah. That's a toughie. 247 00:11:44,386 --> 00:11:46,502 Really? You two think it's that easy? 248 00:11:47,681 --> 00:11:48,716 Intern! 249 00:11:48,890 --> 00:11:50,528 Test both of their patients for this, 250 00:11:50,726 --> 00:11:54,401 and don't you dare tell the Hardy Girls what it is, not yet. 251 00:11:54,688 --> 00:11:55,723 Go. 252 00:11:59,151 --> 00:12:01,028 - Room service is great. - Yeah. 253 00:12:01,695 --> 00:12:03,287 Can I have that tiny ketchup bottle? 254 00:12:03,488 --> 00:12:04,967 I'm planning this elaborate prank on Turk 255 00:12:05,157 --> 00:12:07,796 where he wakes up and thinks he's 20 feet tall. 256 00:12:08,368 --> 00:12:09,357 Sure. 257 00:12:09,536 --> 00:12:11,015 Thanks. 258 00:12:11,204 --> 00:12:14,082 All right. Can you think of anything else we should try? 259 00:12:14,332 --> 00:12:16,288 I think we should try this. 260 00:12:17,169 --> 00:12:20,366 Turk was right. He's such a good friend. I should get him a gift. 261 00:12:20,630 --> 00:12:23,349 I'll fish for what he wants later on our secret bathroom call. 262 00:12:23,592 --> 00:12:27,551 Wait, why am I thinking about Turk? Okay, start moving your hand. 263 00:12:27,846 --> 00:12:31,805 Next stop: Boob Town, population, two. 264 00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:34,056 Whoa, you can't go to Boob Town! 265 00:12:34,269 --> 00:12:36,908 That, my friend, is a gated community. 266 00:12:41,276 --> 00:12:43,551 You're fully dressed under there. 267 00:12:44,321 --> 00:12:45,470 Me, too. 268 00:12:46,323 --> 00:12:48,393 I'm gonna go check out the bar. Are you going to come? 269 00:12:48,617 --> 00:12:50,016 Sure, I'll be right down. 270 00:12:50,202 --> 00:12:53,160 When you're in a dry spell, sometimes you have to get wet. 271 00:12:53,413 --> 00:12:55,244 Great Aunt Judy! 272 00:12:56,333 --> 00:12:58,722 It doesn't matter if you're married. 273 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:01,110 If you're all talk, but no action. 274 00:13:02,005 --> 00:13:04,439 Or you have a bad Internet connection. 275 00:13:05,092 --> 00:13:08,767 All you can do is take solace in the fact that no one's getting any. 276 00:13:09,054 --> 00:13:13,332 The test results are back and our friends, Mr Bilbray and Mrs Sheldon, 277 00:13:13,642 --> 00:13:16,839 both will be having a round of penicillin for their what? 278 00:13:17,104 --> 00:13:19,618 That's right. Their STDs. 279 00:13:19,856 --> 00:13:21,574 Yes, have a look-see, won't you please? 280 00:13:21,775 --> 00:13:26,929 It turns out that our hard-candy toting, super-cheery grandparents both have... 281 00:13:27,697 --> 00:13:28,971 - Syphilis. - Syphilis. 282 00:13:29,950 --> 00:13:30,939 Bang. 283 00:13:31,118 --> 00:13:33,109 Okay, maybe some people were getting some, 284 00:13:33,328 --> 00:13:34,761 but we weren't. 285 00:13:38,542 --> 00:13:39,611 Sorry, guys. 286 00:13:39,793 --> 00:13:41,545 Thought I fixed that. 287 00:13:46,383 --> 00:13:49,739 - I can't believe they have syphilis. - Yes, Barbie. 288 00:13:50,804 --> 00:13:51,998 Look, when people get old, 289 00:13:52,180 --> 00:13:54,296 there are certain things they're no longer able to do, 290 00:13:54,516 --> 00:13:57,314 like drive a car over 20 miles an hour or smell like the living. 291 00:13:57,561 --> 00:13:59,677 But the one thing they damn sure can do 292 00:13:59,896 --> 00:14:02,046 is have sex until they croak. 293 00:14:02,524 --> 00:14:05,755 The fact of the matter is, thanks to a variety of male-enhancement drugs, 294 00:14:06,027 --> 00:14:09,064 sexually transmitted diseases have increased amongst the elderly 295 00:14:09,322 --> 00:14:10,755 by 300%. 296 00:14:11,366 --> 00:14:13,561 Old-people sex is disgusting. 297 00:14:13,994 --> 00:14:15,313 Really? 298 00:14:15,495 --> 00:14:18,646 Because from time to time I like to throw back a few blue bombers 299 00:14:18,915 --> 00:14:20,473 and head out on the town. 300 00:14:20,751 --> 00:14:23,743 - Okay, we're leaving now. - You will go nowhere. 301 00:14:25,297 --> 00:14:26,412 No one will. 302 00:14:28,258 --> 00:14:31,409 I will have you all know that just this morning 303 00:14:31,678 --> 00:14:35,273 I hoisted Enid onto the safety rail in our kitchen 304 00:14:35,557 --> 00:14:38,025 and we went at it like drunk monkeys. 305 00:14:38,894 --> 00:14:40,009 That's right. 306 00:14:40,395 --> 00:14:43,353 Now, just soak in that image for a while. 307 00:14:46,860 --> 00:14:50,455 Everybody in the room okay with pretending that never happened? 308 00:14:50,822 --> 00:14:52,141 - Me. - I am. 309 00:14:54,993 --> 00:14:56,221 Great. 310 00:14:56,411 --> 00:14:58,971 I'll go tell them that they have an STD. 311 00:15:13,512 --> 00:15:14,581 I hate you. 312 00:15:15,305 --> 00:15:16,420 I know. 313 00:15:19,684 --> 00:15:21,800 Different wife, same story. 314 00:15:25,690 --> 00:15:27,043 Hey, fellas. 315 00:15:27,234 --> 00:15:30,351 I hear there's a steel magnolia in room 309 that needs a little pruning. 316 00:15:30,612 --> 00:15:32,967 Todd, she's 68 and has syphilis. 317 00:15:33,198 --> 00:15:36,793 Hey, the Todd accepts all applicants, regardless of age or disability. 318 00:15:37,285 --> 00:15:39,082 Well, I'm giving up on Melody. 319 00:15:39,579 --> 00:15:41,888 Dude, no. Man, me? I'm married, 320 00:15:42,124 --> 00:15:43,955 so I may never, ever, ever have sex again. 321 00:15:44,167 --> 00:15:45,885 You? There's still a chance for you. 322 00:15:46,086 --> 00:15:48,600 Damn it, if you're not going to do it for yourself, at least do it for me. 323 00:15:48,839 --> 00:15:49,828 And me. 324 00:15:50,006 --> 00:15:51,155 For all of us. 325 00:15:52,926 --> 00:15:54,917 What? You guys are surprised I don't get any? 326 00:15:55,137 --> 00:15:57,697 All right, men. I'm going in. 327 00:15:57,931 --> 00:16:00,126 Turk was right. I could make this happen. 328 00:16:00,350 --> 00:16:02,068 Because whether Melody wants to admit it or not, 329 00:16:02,269 --> 00:16:04,260 there was a definite connection between us. 330 00:16:04,479 --> 00:16:06,709 So, thanks for hanging with me last night. 331 00:16:07,441 --> 00:16:08,920 That's not me, Melody. 332 00:16:09,818 --> 00:16:11,570 My bad. You two could be twins. 333 00:16:11,862 --> 00:16:14,581 We look nothing alike. What are you, Egyptian? 334 00:16:14,865 --> 00:16:16,457 I don't want to hear it. 335 00:16:17,868 --> 00:16:19,381 God, what a day. 336 00:16:19,578 --> 00:16:22,650 I cannot believe we didn't figure out our patients had an STD. 337 00:16:22,914 --> 00:16:24,108 You know what we should do to blow off some steam? 338 00:16:24,291 --> 00:16:25,280 Go shoe shopping. 339 00:16:25,459 --> 00:16:26,892 Yeah, but you know what? 340 00:16:27,085 --> 00:16:29,315 First, we should have tender, emotional sex, 341 00:16:29,546 --> 00:16:31,901 and then cuddle, and then go shoe shopping. 342 00:16:33,049 --> 00:16:34,926 I'm so glad that we're married. 343 00:16:35,552 --> 00:16:36,826 Oh, sweetie. 344 00:16:39,806 --> 00:16:41,797 Life would be so much simpler. 345 00:16:46,063 --> 00:16:49,260 Great. You're both here. We need to talk. 346 00:16:49,941 --> 00:16:52,739 We were just trading stories about our grandkids. 347 00:16:52,986 --> 00:16:54,817 They grow up so darn fast. 348 00:16:55,572 --> 00:16:57,688 They do. They sure do. 349 00:16:59,743 --> 00:17:02,257 Did you want to tell us something, sweetheart? 350 00:17:04,081 --> 00:17:07,073 I couldn't do it. So, you're going to need to tell them to slip on a love glove 351 00:17:07,334 --> 00:17:08,653 if they're going to get all freaky and doink. 352 00:17:08,835 --> 00:17:09,790 But don't use those words, 353 00:17:09,961 --> 00:17:11,519 they won't know what you're talking about. 354 00:17:11,713 --> 00:17:13,192 Now, if you'll excuse me, 355 00:17:13,381 --> 00:17:15,611 I've got a proposal to get ready for. 356 00:17:17,594 --> 00:17:21,064 It took everything I had in my arsenal to get Melody to mack with me again. 357 00:17:21,765 --> 00:17:23,721 Hey, do you want to mack with me again? 358 00:17:23,934 --> 00:17:25,049 Sure. 359 00:17:26,061 --> 00:17:28,780 This time will be different. The key is not going straight for her chest, 360 00:17:29,022 --> 00:17:31,741 but to start in a more innocent area, like her hips. 361 00:17:33,276 --> 00:17:35,551 And he sticks the landing. 362 00:17:35,779 --> 00:17:37,974 You see, ultimately, it's all about persistence. 363 00:17:38,198 --> 00:17:39,677 Stay the course and... 364 00:17:42,035 --> 00:17:44,469 You know the rules, and yet, you continue to break them. 365 00:17:44,704 --> 00:17:46,581 I think I'm going to have to give you a lifetime macking ban. 366 00:17:46,790 --> 00:17:47,779 - No! - Yes. 367 00:17:47,958 --> 00:17:50,153 - Give me another chance. - Can you control yourself? 368 00:17:50,377 --> 00:17:51,605 Of course I can. 369 00:17:52,295 --> 00:17:53,284 God is watching. 370 00:17:53,463 --> 00:17:54,532 I can't. 371 00:17:54,714 --> 00:17:56,670 Who is this God everyone fears? 372 00:17:59,970 --> 00:18:01,483 Take these for me. Thank you. 373 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,830 Hey, J.D., I was wondering if I could borrow your scooter 374 00:18:04,057 --> 00:18:05,012 so I could run a few errands. 375 00:18:05,183 --> 00:18:06,775 He looks nothing like me! 376 00:18:06,977 --> 00:18:09,810 He doesn't even have any laughter in his eyes, like, at all! 377 00:18:14,484 --> 00:18:16,759 Mrs Sheldon, Mr Bilbray... 378 00:18:17,362 --> 00:18:19,751 Relax, I already told them both. 379 00:18:19,990 --> 00:18:23,141 And Mrs Sheldon and Mr Bilbray have been doing a little talking. 380 00:18:23,410 --> 00:18:25,366 Turns out after bridge every Sunday night, 381 00:18:25,579 --> 00:18:28,252 Mrs Sheldon has been schtupping. Did I say that right? 382 00:18:28,498 --> 00:18:30,136 Yes, you did, sweetheart. 383 00:18:30,542 --> 00:18:34,933 Okay. Schtupping Howard Steinberg, who is apparently a lot more 384 00:18:35,255 --> 00:18:38,167 than just tango partners with Estelle Stevens, who, 385 00:18:38,425 --> 00:18:39,744 apart from having a fake hip, 386 00:18:39,926 --> 00:18:42,724 is a well-known hussy in Mr Bilbray's nursing home. 387 00:18:42,971 --> 00:18:45,531 And Mr Bilbray likes to have her get on all fours and sing 388 00:18:45,766 --> 00:18:47,245 Who Let The Dogs Out? 389 00:18:48,310 --> 00:18:50,870 - I'm getting uncomfortable. - You can go. 390 00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:58,264 I have to say, I'm very impressed with your vitality. 391 00:18:59,196 --> 00:19:02,074 Honey, let me tell you a secret about sex. 392 00:19:02,449 --> 00:19:04,724 It gives you vitality. 393 00:19:05,368 --> 00:19:07,598 - Right, Bruce? - What? 394 00:19:08,914 --> 00:19:10,142 Honestly, 395 00:19:10,540 --> 00:19:13,657 I can't imagine how empty life would be without it, 396 00:19:14,503 --> 00:19:15,618 can you? 397 00:19:22,386 --> 00:19:25,059 Okay, everyone. Keith's spontaneous proposal to Elliot 398 00:19:25,305 --> 00:19:27,580 will be happening in exactly one minute. 399 00:19:27,808 --> 00:19:30,003 Elliot has requested no cell phone photography. 400 00:19:30,227 --> 00:19:32,787 - Those pictures give her pan-face. - It's absolutely horrendous. 401 00:19:33,021 --> 00:19:34,295 - It's horrible. - True. 402 00:19:34,481 --> 00:19:35,596 Okay, when she gets here, 403 00:19:35,774 --> 00:19:39,050 let's be quiet and give her our full and complete attention. 404 00:19:39,569 --> 00:19:42,129 I'll tell you what's already at full attention. 405 00:19:44,908 --> 00:19:47,263 Per-Per, can I have a beer, please? 406 00:19:48,245 --> 00:19:49,644 Can do, dear. 407 00:19:51,331 --> 00:19:53,891 Let me help you down. Good work. 408 00:19:54,292 --> 00:19:56,442 Hey, let me ask you a question. 409 00:19:58,088 --> 00:20:01,876 You don't really seem like the notch-on-your-bedpost type of guy. 410 00:20:02,509 --> 00:20:04,579 Why are you trying so hard to do me? 411 00:20:05,011 --> 00:20:07,445 You know what? I don't even really know. 412 00:20:07,681 --> 00:20:10,798 Actually, I did. I just didn't want to admit it. 413 00:20:21,945 --> 00:20:23,776 Oh, my God! 414 00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:26,445 What is all this? 415 00:20:28,910 --> 00:20:30,389 You know what? 416 00:20:30,787 --> 00:20:33,426 I'm really happy that you're my wife. 417 00:20:34,499 --> 00:20:35,648 Me, too. 418 00:20:47,679 --> 00:20:48,634 Elliot Reid. 419 00:20:48,805 --> 00:20:51,000 No last name, I changed my mind. 420 00:20:52,517 --> 00:20:55,589 Elliot, will you marry me? 421 00:21:04,905 --> 00:21:05,974 Yes. 422 00:21:07,783 --> 00:21:09,216 Oh, my God, yes! 423 00:21:09,785 --> 00:21:10,934 Awesome! 424 00:21:43,735 --> 00:21:46,295 As I looked at all the relationships around me, 425 00:21:47,030 --> 00:21:48,861 some that had gone on forever, 426 00:21:52,202 --> 00:21:54,158 some that were re-igniting, 427 00:21:58,875 --> 00:22:00,945 and some that had just begun. 428 00:22:04,297 --> 00:22:05,969 I realised something. 429 00:22:08,385 --> 00:22:10,057 It should have been me.