1
00:00:02,135 --> 00:00:04,285
<i>My last few days</i>
<i>have all started the same.</i>

2
00:00:04,471 --> 00:00:06,109
<i>Saying this to Kim.</i>

3
00:00:06,264 --> 00:00:07,413
You're amazing.

4
00:00:07,974 --> 00:00:09,043
<i>Then whispering...</i>

5
00:00:09,184 --> 00:00:10,253
I love you.

6
00:00:10,393 --> 00:00:12,145
<i>... to our baby</i>
<i>and hoping that Kim wasn't wondering</i>

7
00:00:12,312 --> 00:00:14,906
<i>why I hadn't said</i>
<i>the same thing to her.</i>

8
00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:19,695
<i>There are some images</i>
<i>that even doctors can't stomach.</i>

9
00:00:19,903 --> 00:00:21,700
That is so gross, I might vomit.

10
00:00:21,863 --> 00:00:24,423
Oh, is it the patient
with the infected neck wound?

11
00:00:24,616 --> 00:00:25,685
Worse.

12
00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:27,225
Hey, guys.

13
00:00:27,369 --> 00:00:29,439
<i>Like the image of your ex-fiancée.</i>

14
00:00:29,621 --> 00:00:32,089
- How's it going, Keith?
- You ruined my life.

15
00:00:32,290 --> 00:00:33,325
Nice seeing you.

16
00:00:33,458 --> 00:00:35,335
Excuse me, nurse? Could you be a doll

17
00:00:35,502 --> 00:00:38,255
and give Bobby Frank in there
a shot of penicillin?

18
00:00:38,463 --> 00:00:40,055
Why can't he do it himself?

19
00:00:40,215 --> 00:00:42,092
Because, Carla, he's Dr No Shot.

20
00:00:42,259 --> 00:00:44,819
He's, like, the only paediatrician
kids like because he never gives shots.

21
00:00:45,011 --> 00:00:49,084
Hey, remember when you wanted to be
the doctor who never said "terminal"?

22
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:52,842
I'm sorry, but your grandmother
has an inoperable brain tumour.

23
00:00:53,478 --> 00:00:56,197
- Is it terminal?
- I wouldn't say that.

24
00:00:56,982 --> 00:00:59,257
- So she still has a chance?
- No.

25
00:01:00,318 --> 00:01:01,353
It's okay. I mean,

26
00:01:01,486 --> 00:01:04,364
"Dr Won't Say Terminal"
is kind of a mouthful anyway.

27
00:01:04,573 --> 00:01:06,928
Didn't I tell you two to treat Mr Meltzer?

28
00:01:07,117 --> 00:01:09,187
- Yes, but he won't let us because...
- No, no, no.

29
00:01:09,369 --> 00:01:13,408
Remember our new system so that
I never have to hear your voice again?

30
00:01:15,208 --> 00:01:17,199
"He doesn't want
to be treated by interns,"

31
00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:19,811
with your "l" dotted with a heart

32
00:01:20,005 --> 00:01:23,714
and a little frowny face at the end.
It's incredible.

33
00:01:23,967 --> 00:01:26,845
Your handwriting's actually
more annoying than your voice.

34
00:01:27,053 --> 00:01:31,046
Regardless, you interns
are the future of this hospital,

35
00:01:31,308 --> 00:01:33,424
and if you don't treat patients,
you won't learn.

36
00:01:33,602 --> 00:01:35,877
What I want you to do is
walk over to Mr Meltzer

37
00:01:36,062 --> 00:01:40,340
and say these words,
"I'm your doctor. Deal with it."

38
00:01:40,609 --> 00:01:42,167
Can you say that?

39
00:01:42,444 --> 00:01:44,196
- I'm your doctor...
- I'm your doctor...

40
00:01:44,362 --> 00:01:46,080
Not you. Never you.

41
00:01:48,283 --> 00:01:51,241
- I am your doctor. Deal with it.
- Peachy.

42
00:01:53,538 --> 00:01:55,256
Why you looking so sad, Nilla Wafer?

43
00:01:55,415 --> 00:01:58,054
You were right about Kim.
I don't love her.

44
00:01:58,251 --> 00:02:00,845
That's tough. Wanna get
some exercise and clear your head?

45
00:02:01,046 --> 00:02:02,081
Okay.

46
00:02:05,008 --> 00:02:07,078
Thanks, buddy, I needed this.

47
00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:11,139
- So, you gonna break up with her?
- No way. We're having a baby, man.

48
00:02:11,389 --> 00:02:13,425
Statistics say that kids end up
way better off

49
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:16,160
if their parents stay together,
even if it's not a great relationship.

50
00:02:16,353 --> 00:02:20,062
So I'm in for good.
Plus, Kim's amazing,

51
00:02:20,315 --> 00:02:23,432
so hopefully one day I'll wake up
and just be head over heels.

52
00:02:23,652 --> 00:02:25,210
Yeah, that happens a lot.

53
00:02:26,112 --> 00:02:28,342
- Hi, guys.
- Hi.

54
00:02:28,532 --> 00:02:30,966
- Hi.
- Is lzzy in her room?

55
00:02:31,535 --> 00:02:32,524
<i>Turk hadn't checked,</i>

56
00:02:32,661 --> 00:02:35,016
<i>so he had a 50-50 shot</i>
<i>of answering correctly.</i>

57
00:02:35,413 --> 00:02:37,290
Sleeping like an angel.

58
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:38,985
Really?

59
00:02:39,501 --> 00:02:41,617
Because she's on my back.

60
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:43,228
That's unfortunate.

61
00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:46,906
How can you come in
and not check in on your own child?

62
00:02:47,092 --> 00:02:49,162
You know what?
I am so sick of this stupid video game.

63
00:02:49,344 --> 00:02:51,221
That's it. I want it out of the house.

64
00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:53,697
Come on! I just got this thing
and I'm already on the fifth level.

65
00:02:53,890 --> 00:02:55,482
- Just let me finish!
- Carla, let him finish!

66
00:02:55,642 --> 00:02:58,361
- Oh, you can have it.
- Family comes first, Turk.

67
00:02:58,562 --> 00:03:00,712
Baby, studies have shown
that using joysticks

68
00:03:00,897 --> 00:03:04,014
- can improve a surgeon's dexterity.
- You can have this one.

69
00:03:04,234 --> 00:03:05,633
I'm gonna kill you!

70
00:03:06,945 --> 00:03:08,697
That's my baby pager.

71
00:03:08,864 --> 00:03:10,092
I'm having a baby!

72
00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:12,310
Oh, my God! I'm gonna be a bluncle!

73
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:14,309
- A black uncle.
- A black uncle.

74
00:03:14,452 --> 00:03:15,487
Oh, right.

75
00:03:15,620 --> 00:03:16,689
You guys, I know
when I first brought this up

76
00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:18,821
you thought it was cheesy.
But now that it's actually happening,

77
00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:21,115
can we do a three person
celebratory jump hug?

78
00:03:21,293 --> 00:03:22,612
Please?

79
00:03:22,752 --> 00:03:23,901
For you.

80
00:03:27,632 --> 00:03:30,783
You're right, that was cheesy.
I should've listened.

81
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:38,074
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

82
00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:49,151
Finally gonna get to meet Sam.
I wonder what he looks like.

83
00:03:49,362 --> 00:03:52,718
Oh, I just want a healthy baby.
I mean, what more can you ask for?

84
00:03:54,659 --> 00:03:56,570
Any second now.

85
00:03:57,078 --> 00:03:58,511
What the...

86
00:03:59,456 --> 00:04:01,572
<i>I come from a land down under</i>

87
00:04:01,750 --> 00:04:03,547
So that's what that song's about.

88
00:04:04,377 --> 00:04:06,891
<i>Where beer does flow</i>
<i>and men chunder</i>

89
00:04:09,090 --> 00:04:12,162
<i>Can't you hear</i>
<i>Can't you hear the thunder?</i>

90
00:04:13,261 --> 00:04:15,297
<i>I wondered where he was hiding.</i>

91
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:19,677
J.D., I know we've had
our ups and downs,

92
00:04:19,935 --> 00:04:22,403
but I'm really glad
we're going through this together.

93
00:04:22,604 --> 00:04:23,593
Me, too.

94
00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:25,322
<i>And I really was.</i>

95
00:04:26,107 --> 00:04:27,984
Okay, Kim, you're still
a few hours away.

96
00:04:28,151 --> 00:04:29,709
I understand you'll be wanting
an epidural?

97
00:04:29,861 --> 00:04:31,533
Yes, but I hate pain so much,

98
00:04:31,696 --> 00:04:33,015
I'm hoping there's a pill
you can give me

99
00:04:33,156 --> 00:04:35,716
so that getting the epidural itself
won't hurt.

100
00:04:37,285 --> 00:04:41,164
Why does she think I'm joking?
I hate her and her chipmunky face.

101
00:04:41,414 --> 00:04:44,212
Kim, your quiet voice
is a little louder than usual.

102
00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:46,567
The delivery nurses
usually get the anaesthesiologist

103
00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:50,143
to deliver your pain medication,
but we're a little understaffed, so...

104
00:04:50,382 --> 00:04:52,896
- J.D.
- I'll be in charge of the epidural,

105
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:54,811
and as soon as you're ready,
I'll have them make you so numb,

106
00:04:54,970 --> 00:04:56,688
it'll feel like you're passing
a marshmallow.

107
00:04:56,847 --> 00:04:58,599
But that sounds sticky
and uncomfortable.

108
00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:00,483
Passing a unicorn?

109
00:05:00,642 --> 00:05:02,837
That's a big horse with a horn.

110
00:05:03,019 --> 00:05:06,091
- Passing a rainbow?
- That's better.

111
00:05:07,732 --> 00:05:08,881
Okay.

112
00:05:11,194 --> 00:05:13,105
- Jordan?
- Go away.

113
00:05:14,614 --> 00:05:16,013
Let's go see Mommy.

114
00:05:16,158 --> 00:05:17,989
Our daughter needs to go
to the hospital.

115
00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,913
Her rash is spreading,
and she could use a steroid shot.

116
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:24,158
- Why can't you just do it here?
- Jennifer has uropathy.

117
00:05:24,749 --> 00:05:25,898
And over the next couple of years,

118
00:05:26,042 --> 00:05:28,795
plenty of doctors are gonna be poking
and prodding her,

119
00:05:29,004 --> 00:05:30,517
and I would like her
to see me as her father

120
00:05:30,672 --> 00:05:34,711
and not as just another white coat that
she will forever associate with pain.

121
00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:37,099
Totally legitimate argument.

122
00:05:37,929 --> 00:05:40,921
If three-month-olds didn't have
the memory of an earthworm.

123
00:05:41,141 --> 00:05:43,609
Could you please just support us
on this one?

124
00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:45,846
Fine. I'm right behind you.

125
00:05:54,696 --> 00:05:56,334
Wow, that's real talent.

126
00:05:57,782 --> 00:06:01,457
Baby, I promise you,
I will be home as soon as Kim delivers.

127
00:06:01,703 --> 00:06:04,979
Yeah, J.D. Needs me,
and I really want to be there for him.

128
00:06:05,207 --> 00:06:06,196
Okay.

129
00:06:08,293 --> 00:06:10,488
All right, people, listen up!
I need to beat this video game

130
00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:12,581
before Kim delivers
J.D.'s bastard child.

131
00:06:12,756 --> 00:06:15,224
It takes two people to do it,
so I can't do it by myself.

132
00:06:15,425 --> 00:06:17,256
- Who's with me?
- I would, Turkleton,

133
00:06:17,427 --> 00:06:19,816
but I only play Pac-Man
and that carjack game.

134
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:22,481
There's nothing like scoring a Caddy
and mowing down street hos.

135
00:06:22,682 --> 00:06:25,116
- Sir, what are you doing here so late?
- I live here.

136
00:06:25,310 --> 00:06:27,426
Enid kicked me out of the house
six weeks ago.

137
00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:30,562
She wheeled in and caught me
hitting on her speech therapist.

138
00:06:30,774 --> 00:06:34,005
<i>C'est la vie.</i> Now, if you don't mind,
I got a za coming.

139
00:06:35,779 --> 00:06:36,894
Dude!

140
00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:40,685
We're friends at night. I'll play.

141
00:06:41,284 --> 00:06:42,353
Yes.

142
00:06:43,995 --> 00:06:45,986
What are your thoughts
on cloth diapers?

143
00:06:46,164 --> 00:06:48,155
'Cause if we got black ones
with orange spots,

144
00:06:48,333 --> 00:06:50,449
our kid would look like Bamm-Bamm.

145
00:06:50,627 --> 00:06:53,778
J.D., you've been so great.

146
00:06:54,589 --> 00:06:57,786
I'm feeling really connected to you,
you know?

147
00:06:58,009 --> 00:06:59,408
How are you feeling about us?

148
00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:03,068
<i>Oh, no. Wrong time for this</i>
<i>conversation, but there's no way out.</i>

149
00:07:03,306 --> 00:07:04,295
Good evening.

150
00:07:04,432 --> 00:07:05,990
<i>Oh, thank you Perry much.</i>

151
00:07:06,143 --> 00:07:07,496
We heard that you were having a baby

152
00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:09,953
and we just wanted to come by
and say congratulations.

153
00:07:10,147 --> 00:07:12,820
- Really?
- No. I'm looking for the paediatrician.

154
00:07:13,024 --> 00:07:16,380
He's not here. Sorry, baby J.D.

155
00:07:16,611 --> 00:07:19,842
Her name is Jennifer Dylan, not J.D.

156
00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:22,871
<i>I'm calling her J.D. Forever</i>
<i>and he can't stop me.</i>

157
00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:25,544
All the best there, Kim. Please note
that the entire world is praying

158
00:07:25,745 --> 00:07:27,861
that the dominant genes are yours.

159
00:07:28,039 --> 00:07:29,028
<i>Thank God.</i>

160
00:07:29,166 --> 00:07:31,441
<i>There's no way Kim remembers</i>
<i>what we were talking about.</i>

161
00:07:31,626 --> 00:07:33,617
<i>Hell, I don't even remember</i>
<i>what we were talking about.</i>

162
00:07:33,795 --> 00:07:34,944
What were we talking about?

163
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:37,044
I was asking
how you're feeling about us.

164
00:07:37,215 --> 00:07:38,330
<i>Damn it.</i>

165
00:07:38,467 --> 00:07:42,779
I've been working up the courage
to tell you that I'm falling...

166
00:07:43,054 --> 00:07:45,329
- No! Don't say it.
- Why not?

167
00:07:45,807 --> 00:07:50,244
Look, I think you're amazing,
but I'm just not ready to say it back yet.

168
00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:51,919
That's okay.

169
00:07:52,731 --> 00:07:54,847
I really hurt you, so it makes sense

170
00:07:55,025 --> 00:07:57,903
that you would need more time
to get there.

171
00:07:59,571 --> 00:08:00,890
<i>Bullet dodged.</i>

172
00:08:01,364 --> 00:08:03,924
What the hell. J.D., I love you.

173
00:08:06,578 --> 00:08:07,727
Cool.

174
00:08:10,248 --> 00:08:13,046
Dr Cox, we heard that you were
waiting for the paediatrician.

175
00:08:13,251 --> 00:08:15,367
Please. Remember our rule?

176
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:19,917
We heard that you were waiting
for the paediatrician.

177
00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:21,612
He's at home so we paged him,

178
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:24,115
and he said that we should
give your daughter the shot ourselves.

179
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:28,934
There is no way in hell that I'm letting
an incompetent intern touch my child.

180
00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:33,222
But you said we were the future
of the hospital and we need to learn.

181
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:36,233
You need to learn
on patients not related to me.

182
00:08:36,441 --> 00:08:38,318
Ones that I don't care
if you kill or maim.

183
00:08:39,069 --> 00:08:42,300
- We are your doctors. Deal with it.
- Yeah, we are your doctors.

184
00:08:43,698 --> 00:08:45,654
Why don't you always talk that way?

185
00:08:46,201 --> 00:08:48,715
Because it hurts my throat too much.

186
00:08:51,957 --> 00:08:54,187
Okay, all we have to do here
is kill space goblins.

187
00:08:54,376 --> 00:08:56,332
And what's my motivation?

188
00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:58,573
Your motivation is to kill space goblins.

189
00:08:58,755 --> 00:09:00,234
Yeah, but am I killing them
because I hate them

190
00:09:00,382 --> 00:09:02,816
or because I don't share
their space goblin values?

191
00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:04,647
Whatever you want.

192
00:09:05,220 --> 00:09:06,494
Good shot.

193
00:09:08,265 --> 00:09:09,493
What are you doing?

194
00:09:09,641 --> 00:09:12,678
I'm taking a few moments to speak
on behalf of our fallen adversary.

195
00:09:12,894 --> 00:09:15,169
Are you kidding me right now?

196
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:17,073
Forgive me, space goblin.

197
00:09:17,232 --> 00:09:19,507
If it were not for the novice level setting

198
00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:21,331
or the 10 cups of coffee
I had earlier today,

199
00:09:21,486 --> 00:09:25,035
you might have bested me this day
in the marsh of Kothrick.

200
00:09:26,116 --> 00:09:27,913
We're not too different, you and I.

201
00:09:28,076 --> 00:09:32,274
Despite your arm-mounted cannon and
your insatiable taste for human flesh.

202
00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:33,908
You realise that while you're talking,

203
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,508
his alien friends are shooting you
in the face, right?

204
00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,666
Well, that is just rude.

205
00:09:38,837 --> 00:09:40,065
Get some!

206
00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:46,027
<i>Okay, not answering Kim's "I love you"</i>
<i>was awkward, but at least it was over.</i>

207
00:09:46,303 --> 00:09:48,180
So, do you think you could ever
be in love with me?

208
00:09:48,346 --> 00:09:50,018
<i>Let it go, woman!</i>

209
00:09:50,432 --> 00:09:53,424
- Kim, let's focus on having the baby.
- Answer the question.

210
00:09:53,643 --> 00:09:54,678
<i>Lie to her.</i>

211
00:09:54,811 --> 00:09:56,085
And don't lie to me.

212
00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:59,187
Look, I think you're amazing, right?
I've mentioned that.

213
00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:03,312
And even though I'm not, you know,
in love with you right now,

214
00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:08,246
I really hope that one day I wake up
feeling what you said you feel,

215
00:10:09,117 --> 00:10:11,756
even though I kind of
asked you not to say it.

216
00:10:11,953 --> 00:10:14,467
- Do you really hope that?
- With all my heart.

217
00:10:15,165 --> 00:10:17,360
Because I always dreamed
of finding a guy who hoped

218
00:10:17,542 --> 00:10:19,578
he could fall in love with me someday.

219
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:20,868
Really? That's kind of weird.

220
00:10:21,004 --> 00:10:24,041
No! J.D., do you actually think
that's enough for me?

221
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:26,248
There are a lot of guys out there
who think I'm a good catch.

222
00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:27,825
The words "cute as a button"

223
00:10:27,969 --> 00:10:30,483
have been thrown around
on more than one occasion.

224
00:10:30,680 --> 00:10:32,238
I know that, Kim. You're amazing.

225
00:10:32,390 --> 00:10:34,665
Stop calling me amazing, okay?

226
00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:37,684
Would you even be with me
if I wasn't dropping this kid?

227
00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:41,380
I don't know how to answer that.

228
00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:44,422
I think you just did.

229
00:10:47,072 --> 00:10:48,505
You know what?

230
00:10:50,408 --> 00:10:51,727
We're done.

231
00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:53,506
What are you talking about?
We're having a baby.

232
00:10:53,662 --> 00:10:54,811
Yeah, we are,

233
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:57,947
but I deserve to be with somebody
who doesn't need to cross his fingers

234
00:10:58,166 --> 00:11:01,283
and hope that he falls in love with me,
maybe someday.

235
00:11:02,254 --> 00:11:03,767
It's over, J.D.

236
00:11:08,677 --> 00:11:11,635
Get in here with the epidural!

237
00:11:11,847 --> 00:11:14,839
<i>It's funny how even the best intentions</i>
<i>can blow up in your face.</i>

238
00:11:15,058 --> 00:11:19,176
Don't worry. I've practised this
on tomatoes, like, a hundred times.

239
00:11:19,437 --> 00:11:20,665
<i>Whether you meant</i>
<i>to keep your daughter</i>

240
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:23,282
<i>from associating you with pain.</i>

241
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,314
Step away from the child.

242
00:11:26,695 --> 00:11:29,368
Come here, pumpkin. Okay.

243
00:11:29,573 --> 00:11:32,610
<i>Or you simply intended</i>
<i>to get closure on a video game.</i>

244
00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:35,579
This is what you call
"being there" for J. D?

245
00:11:36,872 --> 00:11:39,784
Oh, my God, I don't think
I could be any angrier at you!

246
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:44,152
Oh, yeah? Well, you're about to
find out 'cause I'm finishing this game.

247
00:11:45,547 --> 00:11:48,903
<i>And though you have every intention</i>
<i>of making a horrible situation better...</i>

248
00:11:49,134 --> 00:11:51,125
Okay, looks like
we're ready for this baby.

249
00:11:51,303 --> 00:11:53,612
No! Wait, wait, wait!
What about my epidural?

250
00:11:53,805 --> 00:11:56,273
Kim, you're fully dilated.
It's too late for the epidural.

251
00:11:56,475 --> 00:11:57,703
You should have told me sooner.

252
00:11:57,851 --> 00:11:59,842
<i>... you often find out</i>
<i>that you've made it worse.</i>

253
00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:01,248
You!

254
00:12:02,230 --> 00:12:03,743
You're amazing.

255
00:12:10,655 --> 00:12:13,647
I hate you so much right now, J.D.

256
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:16,097
Don't worry, all women say that stuff
during labour. She doesn't mean it.

257
00:12:16,286 --> 00:12:18,959
- I do. He just broke up with me!
- What?

258
00:12:19,164 --> 00:12:20,597
No, no! Technically,
I didn't break up with her.

259
00:12:20,749 --> 00:12:22,023
I just told her I didn't love her.

260
00:12:22,167 --> 00:12:24,761
- Who did he say that to?
- The mother of his baby.

261
00:12:24,961 --> 00:12:26,155
No, he didn't.

262
00:12:26,296 --> 00:12:28,207
<i>Man, she looks familiar.</i>

263
00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:29,416
Get out!

264
00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:31,540
No, I'm not letting you
go through this alone.

265
00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:33,868
I have someone else I can call.

266
00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:42,172
Keith, I get it, I ruined your life.
Stop calling.

267
00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:43,589
Oh, hey, Kim!

268
00:12:45,315 --> 00:12:47,783
Look it, I know I called you at home
and threatened to kill your dog,

269
00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:50,623
but thanks again
for coming in there, Dr Callahan.

270
00:12:50,821 --> 00:12:53,176
No problem.
It's not like I need a lot of sleep

271
00:12:53,365 --> 00:12:55,925
- to practise medicine on small children.
- This will only take a second.

272
00:12:56,117 --> 00:12:58,108
My daughter needs a shot
for her dermatitis.

273
00:12:58,286 --> 00:13:00,959
Oh, I'm afraid I can't do that.
I'm Dr No Shot.

274
00:13:01,790 --> 00:13:04,145
You're kidding, right?
You're a paediatrician.

275
00:13:04,334 --> 00:13:06,529
You must have to give
the occasional shot.

276
00:13:06,711 --> 00:13:10,101
Sure, if my name was
Dr Occasional Shot, but it's not.

277
00:13:11,341 --> 00:13:14,458
Look, I have to be a doctor
to these kids for years.

278
00:13:14,678 --> 00:13:16,509
I don't want them bawling
every time they see me

279
00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:18,557
because they associate me with pain.

280
00:13:18,723 --> 00:13:21,078
- That's insane.
- Yeah.

281
00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:23,676
And why aren't you giving
your daughter the shot?

282
00:13:23,854 --> 00:13:27,813
I don't want her to forever
associate me with pain.

283
00:13:28,650 --> 00:13:30,606
- What? I didn't catch that.
- Pain.

284
00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:32,495
Was that the inside voice?
You can bring it up.

285
00:13:32,654 --> 00:13:34,565
My daughter to forever
associate me with pain.

286
00:13:34,739 --> 00:13:35,933
Ironic.

287
00:13:37,534 --> 00:13:40,526
Why don't you ask one of the nurses
to give it to her?

288
00:13:40,745 --> 00:13:43,703
There's only one nurse in this dump
I'd let touch my daughter.

289
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:46,854
I can't believe
you're still playing this stupid game.

290
00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:49,238
- Hit him with the fire sabre.
- Hit him with a lamp.

291
00:13:49,421 --> 00:13:53,096
- There's no lamp in this game, sir.
- I was talking to your wife.

292
00:13:53,592 --> 00:13:55,583
Hit Turkleton with this lamp.

293
00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:57,656
Oh, Carla, good.

294
00:13:57,804 --> 00:14:00,637
Listen, I need you to give my kid
a shot. It will only take a second.

295
00:14:00,849 --> 00:14:04,046
I can't do it.
I'm literally shaking with rage. See?

296
00:14:04,561 --> 00:14:10,750
I would give her a shot, Perry, but this
is Scotch and I'm all Hasselhoffed out.

297
00:14:12,110 --> 00:14:13,384
All right.

298
00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:16,865
- Janitor, you're getting pummelled.
- That sounded like criticism.

299
00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:20,383
- I don't respond well to criticism.
- Whatever. You still suck.

300
00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:24,111
- I'm out.
- No, dude. Come on.

301
00:14:24,539 --> 00:14:25,813
Baby, why'd you have to go
and say that?

302
00:14:25,957 --> 00:14:28,710
I can't finish this game by myself.

303
00:14:29,628 --> 00:14:31,584
Follow my lead
and jump in that warthog.

304
00:14:32,464 --> 00:14:35,615
You drive, I'll man the machine guns
and kill all the jackals.

305
00:14:36,468 --> 00:14:38,902
You have never been more sexy to me.

306
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:46,379
Oh, that's disgusting.

307
00:14:46,978 --> 00:14:49,446
- Hey, Keith.
- Burn in hell.

308
00:14:52,317 --> 00:14:54,547
I'm so sorry about you and Kim.

309
00:14:54,736 --> 00:14:57,330
- Is there anything I can do?
- Just take care of her.

310
00:14:57,531 --> 00:14:58,600
Okay.

311
00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:03,415
God, you're having a baby.
Want to do a celebratory jump hug?

312
00:15:03,662 --> 00:15:07,575
No. Turk, Carla and I tried one earlier.
Turned out to be lame.

313
00:15:07,833 --> 00:15:11,348
Oh, please, you probably loved it
and just didn't want to admit it.

314
00:15:11,586 --> 00:15:13,178
<i>God, she knows me.</i>

315
00:15:13,755 --> 00:15:15,905
Hey, you. Blondie go that way?

316
00:15:16,550 --> 00:15:17,699
Thanks.

317
00:15:17,843 --> 00:15:20,880
- Get out!
- Oh. Dear God.

318
00:15:21,096 --> 00:15:22,768
It is like Baghdad in there.

319
00:15:22,931 --> 00:15:26,241
Look, Newbie,
I am on the verge of losing my mind.

320
00:15:26,476 --> 00:15:28,944
Do you have the time
to give my daughter a shot

321
00:15:29,146 --> 00:15:30,738
now that you've ruined your life?

322
00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:32,250
Will you talk me through
what I'm going through?

323
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:34,117
- Absolutely not.
- Then find someone else to help you.

324
00:15:34,276 --> 00:15:36,506
Oh, damn. Fine. Okay. Fine.

325
00:15:36,695 --> 00:15:40,131
But if you use the words "emotional
roller coaster," I am O-U-T.

326
00:15:40,365 --> 00:15:43,641
Deal. I just feel like I'm on this,
like, emotional

327
00:15:44,202 --> 00:15:45,681
- ride of some sort.
- Oh!

328
00:15:45,829 --> 00:15:46,864
Kind of like...

329
00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:50,951
Baby, you are awesome.
You've played this before.

330
00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:56,790
Listen, I discovered the game
when lzzy had colic

331
00:15:57,007 --> 00:15:58,963
and I was up all night
and I became addicted.

332
00:15:59,134 --> 00:16:02,922
That's actually the main reason
why I want it out of the apartment.

333
00:16:03,180 --> 00:16:05,011
I thought you were mad
because I'd rather play the game

334
00:16:05,182 --> 00:16:06,376
than play with lzzy.

335
00:16:06,516 --> 00:16:08,188
Which, I guess, is sometimes true.

336
00:16:08,351 --> 00:16:11,468
Baby, don't get it twisted,
that girl is my world.

337
00:16:12,314 --> 00:16:14,111
But every now and then,
I gotta do my own thing.

338
00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:16,913
You've heard of hunger pangs?
I get sports pangs.

339
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:19,021
And "watch <i>Judge Dredd</i>
with J.D." pangs.

340
00:16:19,196 --> 00:16:21,152
Turk, you think you're the only one
who gets pangs?

341
00:16:21,323 --> 00:16:23,393
I get "put on my tight jeans
and walk down the street

342
00:16:23,575 --> 00:16:26,453
"to see if anybody honks" pangs.
They do, actually.

343
00:16:26,661 --> 00:16:28,891
I mean, how do you think
I became addicted to this game?

344
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:31,310
Every parent needs
to take some time off.

345
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:33,536
You're damn right they do.

346
00:16:34,377 --> 00:16:36,447
Hell, my son, Harrison, is a grown man

347
00:16:36,630 --> 00:16:40,020
and I still get the urge
to slip away during his visits.

348
00:16:40,926 --> 00:16:44,123
Of course, that may have more to do
with this new boyfriend of his.

349
00:16:44,346 --> 00:16:47,497
I swear, you could line up
a hundred gay men

350
00:16:47,724 --> 00:16:50,875
and Harrison would pick out
the attention-starved,

351
00:16:51,102 --> 00:16:53,252
bi-polar, ex-con every time.

352
00:16:57,442 --> 00:17:00,354
Harrison, your ears
must have been burning.

353
00:17:01,238 --> 00:17:02,671
So now what do we do?

354
00:17:02,823 --> 00:17:05,496
We kill one more alien boss
and then we're finished.

355
00:17:05,700 --> 00:17:07,338
I like your style.

356
00:17:08,912 --> 00:17:12,063
Of course, you had
to break up with him.

357
00:17:12,290 --> 00:17:15,726
No one you love should ever
sell your car without asking

358
00:17:15,961 --> 00:17:17,952
and then blow the money on meth.

359
00:17:20,382 --> 00:17:23,454
My kid's not even born yet,
and I'm already screwing up his life.

360
00:17:23,677 --> 00:17:26,316
I just wanted him to be really happy
and normal, you know?

361
00:17:26,513 --> 00:17:28,788
Okay, first of all, Newbie,
we're talking about your kid,

362
00:17:28,974 --> 00:17:30,851
so the whole normal part
was never gonna happen.

363
00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:33,485
- And you didn't mess up his life.
- Come on.

364
00:17:33,687 --> 00:17:35,325
Statistics show that kids
whose parents stay together...

365
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:38,040
Statistics show?
Who cares what statistics show?

366
00:17:38,233 --> 00:17:39,825
I mean, look at medicine.

367
00:17:39,985 --> 00:17:43,102
80% of people with pancreatic cancer
die within five years.

368
00:17:43,321 --> 00:17:46,199
95% of appendectomies
occur with zero complications.

369
00:17:46,408 --> 00:17:49,605
But we both know
pancreatic cancer patients that lived

370
00:17:49,828 --> 00:17:53,264
and appendix patients that,
unfortunately, passed.

371
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,395
Statistics mean nothing
to the individual.

372
00:17:56,585 --> 00:17:59,224
You're either gonna be a good parent
to that kid or you're not.

373
00:17:59,421 --> 00:18:00,854
I mean, hell,
your parents were divorced

374
00:18:01,006 --> 00:18:03,804
and you somehow managed to become
a relatively successful doctor.

375
00:18:04,009 --> 00:18:07,888
And I'm sure
there's someone, somewhere

376
00:18:08,138 --> 00:18:10,527
who would be proud
to call you their son.

377
00:18:11,641 --> 00:18:13,711
Would you be proud
to call me your son?

378
00:18:13,894 --> 00:18:15,646
This conversation's over.

379
00:18:16,646 --> 00:18:19,444
- Carla, are you done yet?
- Not yet.

380
00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:21,461
<i>As I looked around the room,</i>

381
00:18:21,610 --> 00:18:24,522
<i>I thought about the things</i>
<i>parents do for their kids,</i>

382
00:18:24,738 --> 00:18:28,413
<i>like going to extraordinary lengths</i>
<i>to ensure their child never fears them.</i>

383
00:18:28,658 --> 00:18:30,649
Okay. Let's keep looking.

384
00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:34,012
<i>Helping them mend a broken heart.</i>

385
00:18:34,206 --> 00:18:38,518
Well, why can't you still be with Gary?
I always liked him.

386
00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:42,725
What do you mean,
he stole your fillings?

387
00:18:42,923 --> 00:18:46,836
<i>Or staying up late to make sure there's</i>
<i>one less distraction around the house.</i>

388
00:18:47,093 --> 00:18:48,208
- Game.
- Game. And that's game.

389
00:18:48,345 --> 00:18:50,813
And that's how we do! And that is how

390
00:18:51,890 --> 00:18:53,528
- we do! That's right.
- We do!

391
00:18:54,976 --> 00:18:57,490
<i>And I realised parenting</i>
<i>is about sacrifice.</i>

392
00:18:57,687 --> 00:19:00,360
<i>And I had to go in there</i>
<i>and be there for my child,</i>

393
00:19:00,565 --> 00:19:03,602
<i>even if it meant taking</i>
<i>some well-deserved abuse.</i>

394
00:19:04,486 --> 00:19:07,603
- Get out of here, you jerk!
- No.

395
00:19:09,366 --> 00:19:12,005
Okay, I need you to stop pushing
for a minute.

396
00:19:12,786 --> 00:19:14,663
- You're a piece of crap!
- You're doing great. That hurt.

397
00:19:14,830 --> 00:19:17,583
- I hate your hair!
- Impossible. Nobody does.

398
00:19:19,167 --> 00:19:20,646
Almost there.

399
00:19:21,169 --> 00:19:24,525
Are you two ready to be parents?

400
00:19:25,048 --> 00:19:27,881
<i>And right then,</i>
<i>I couldn't help but wonder...</i>

401
00:19:33,515 --> 00:19:34,948
<i>Are you ever?</i>

402
00:19:37,352 --> 00:19:40,150
Anyway, I hope you weren't
too worried about us.

403
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,590
We'll be home real soon. Bye.

404
00:19:47,112 --> 00:19:49,148
I love watching her sleep.

405
00:19:50,407 --> 00:19:52,682
I can't believe we finished that game.

406
00:19:52,868 --> 00:19:56,304
Oh, baby, I've finished it
a bunch of times.

407
00:19:58,623 --> 00:19:59,658
Word?

408
00:20:04,045 --> 00:20:05,637
He's so beautiful.

409
00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:10,711
- I'm really glad you came back in.
- Me, too.

410
00:20:12,053 --> 00:20:13,930
It's weird, you know?

411
00:20:14,723 --> 00:20:19,194
This is the end of our relationship.
But it's sort of just the beginning.

412
00:20:21,605 --> 00:20:24,438
- Can I hold him?
- Of course.

413
00:20:25,609 --> 00:20:27,247
Here's your daddy.

414
00:20:28,153 --> 00:20:29,347
Hi.

415
00:20:31,490 --> 00:20:33,162
Hi, handsome.

416
00:20:33,325 --> 00:20:35,714
Welcome to the world, Sammy.

417
00:20:36,305 --> 00:21:36,578
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