1 00:00:04,054 --> 00:00:06,887 I can't believe we're doing this in a patient's room. 2 00:00:07,682 --> 00:00:09,593 It's about to get hotter. 3 00:00:11,436 --> 00:00:12,505 Yes. 4 00:00:12,896 --> 00:00:14,648 Turk, you are full of surprises. 5 00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:15,850 Isn't he, though? 6 00:00:15,982 --> 00:00:17,779 What are you doing here? 7 00:00:17,943 --> 00:00:20,582 - He's here to kill you. - Kill me? 8 00:00:20,779 --> 00:00:22,690 Elliot won't let you get away with it. 9 00:00:22,948 --> 00:00:25,906 Sure I will. Turk's letting me raise lzzy. 10 00:00:26,117 --> 00:00:28,073 I'll finally have a baby. 11 00:00:28,703 --> 00:00:30,614 And I can spend the rest of my life with Turk 12 00:00:30,789 --> 00:00:32,745 touring the world's greatest water parks. 13 00:00:32,916 --> 00:00:34,031 Elliot, ready. 14 00:00:37,254 --> 00:00:38,403 Clear! 15 00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:39,991 No! 16 00:00:45,220 --> 00:00:47,734 - That is a weird dream. - Yeah, I don't even like water parks. 17 00:00:47,931 --> 00:00:50,001 I mean, I did, until someone thought it'd be funny 18 00:00:50,183 --> 00:00:51,901 to go down the slide two seconds after me. 19 00:00:52,060 --> 00:00:53,288 Dude, the lifeguard told me to go. 20 00:00:53,436 --> 00:00:56,030 Really? Did he also tell you to take your trunks off, Turk? 21 00:00:56,231 --> 00:00:58,461 Because the last thing a guy wants to see when he's in a splash pool 22 00:00:58,650 --> 00:01:02,040 is his best friend's junk headed towards him at 40 miles per hour. 23 00:01:02,279 --> 00:01:03,837 I felt like I got pistol-whipped. 24 00:01:03,989 --> 00:01:07,618 Look, what was weird about this dream was that it was in English. 25 00:01:08,285 --> 00:01:10,276 I always dream in Spanish. 26 00:01:10,453 --> 00:01:12,569 Baby, dreams have nothing to do with reality. 27 00:01:12,747 --> 00:01:15,022 Hey, want to come live with Aunt Elliot? 28 00:01:15,208 --> 00:01:17,881 What? You guys know lzzy hates it down in day care. 29 00:01:18,086 --> 00:01:20,236 Ain't that right? Do you wanna come live... 30 00:01:20,422 --> 00:01:23,971 Elliot wasn't the only one trying to steal babies from the hospital. 31 00:01:24,217 --> 00:01:26,367 Hey, don't steal those babies. 32 00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:29,537 Why do you call these babies? 33 00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:32,237 It could be that when I was a kid, I didn't have any toys. 34 00:01:32,434 --> 00:01:34,629 - Sure, sure. Yeah. - I used to make my own toys 35 00:01:34,811 --> 00:01:36,847 as a matter of fact, and I would take the toilet paper rolls 36 00:01:37,022 --> 00:01:39,980 and draw little faces on them and name them. 37 00:01:40,192 --> 00:01:42,581 Surround myself with them, hoping they would protect me. 38 00:01:42,819 --> 00:01:44,969 I went out to the side of the road and tried to sell them one time, 39 00:01:45,155 --> 00:01:46,713 make a little money on my own, you know? 40 00:01:46,865 --> 00:01:48,776 But no one bought any 41 00:01:48,950 --> 00:01:50,861 and when I came back home everyone was gone. 42 00:01:51,036 --> 00:01:53,755 You know how you and I don't talk so much? 43 00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:57,971 If you're wondering whether or not it makes me happy or sad, 44 00:01:58,210 --> 00:01:59,802 it makes me happy. 45 00:01:59,961 --> 00:02:01,553 You love being edgy, don't you? 46 00:02:01,713 --> 00:02:02,987 I do. 47 00:02:03,131 --> 00:02:04,405 Missed a spot. 48 00:02:04,549 --> 00:02:05,982 Sad for you. 49 00:02:13,892 --> 00:02:15,644 First spill of the day. 50 00:02:16,853 --> 00:02:20,163 You just can't seem to get along with anybody, can you? 51 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:23,989 Life is so much easier if you just connect with people. 52 00:02:24,736 --> 00:02:26,488 Watch and learn. 53 00:02:26,655 --> 00:02:29,249 Colonel Doctor, loving those new frames. 54 00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:32,361 Snoop Dogg Attending! Where my hos at? 55 00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:35,804 Hey, what are you doing to that thing? It's fluffy. 56 00:02:35,997 --> 00:02:38,067 I want to, like, rub my fingers in. 57 00:02:38,250 --> 00:02:42,607 You see? I connect with them. Unlike you, I'm a man of the people. 58 00:02:45,507 --> 00:02:46,826 Hey, Teddy. 59 00:02:47,467 --> 00:02:49,105 Looking bald and sweaty! 60 00:02:49,261 --> 00:02:52,776 Putting my smile away and on with the day. 61 00:02:54,724 --> 00:02:56,680 Yeah, that looks like a healthy bone. 62 00:02:56,852 --> 00:02:58,331 - Speaking of healthy bones... - Perry... 63 00:02:58,478 --> 00:02:59,627 One sec, ma'am. 64 00:02:59,771 --> 00:03:02,160 I've got one in my pants. He's all yours. 65 00:03:02,357 --> 00:03:04,791 Why don't we go over this later? Thanks. 66 00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:05,974 What have you been doing all day? 67 00:03:06,111 --> 00:03:09,342 Right up until this very moment, I'd been successfully avoiding you. 68 00:03:09,573 --> 00:03:11,882 I came to tell you I'm taking the kids to my mother's for the weekend. 69 00:03:12,075 --> 00:03:15,147 And seeing that you're not allowed within 40 feet of her house... 70 00:03:15,370 --> 00:03:18,203 - The restraining order. - Christmas memories. 71 00:03:18,582 --> 00:03:20,652 Anyhoo, you're staying here. 72 00:03:21,084 --> 00:03:23,678 I'm gonna leave you alone to celebrate. 73 00:03:26,715 --> 00:03:29,707 People, I expect full participation. 74 00:03:35,348 --> 00:03:37,498 - Oh, please. - Come on. 75 00:03:37,684 --> 00:03:38,673 Fine. 76 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:46,074 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP 77 00:03:58,705 --> 00:04:00,855 I ran down here so I could do it twice. 78 00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:04,238 If they do this at all sporting events, I'm gonna start going. 79 00:04:20,101 --> 00:04:21,978 Check out my little African princess. 80 00:04:22,145 --> 00:04:23,339 Izzy! 81 00:04:27,359 --> 00:04:29,634 Baby, when I'm not around, do you only speak Spanish to lzzy? 82 00:04:29,820 --> 00:04:31,936 'Cause you know I don't understand it. 83 00:04:32,113 --> 00:04:34,024 Relax, Turk. I speak both to her. 84 00:04:34,199 --> 00:04:35,234 Good. 85 00:04:36,326 --> 00:04:39,318 - All right, I gotta go to work. - Okay, say goodbye to Daddy. 86 00:04:39,538 --> 00:04:41,574 And when he comes back, the three of us... 87 00:04:47,003 --> 00:04:49,233 ...before we put you down to bed. 88 00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:50,537 Forgot my keys! 89 00:04:50,674 --> 00:04:52,710 And then Mommy will sing you a lullaby 90 00:04:52,884 --> 00:04:54,875 just like her mommy used to do... 91 00:05:02,185 --> 00:05:03,857 Hola, Carla. 92 00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:07,061 That's how you say "hello," right? 93 00:05:08,483 --> 00:05:09,916 Hold my bag. 94 00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:13,617 Well, the car's here. For some reason, it was a half an hour early. 95 00:05:13,822 --> 00:05:15,414 Yeah, that was me. 96 00:05:16,199 --> 00:05:18,588 You know, you're gonna miss me more than I miss you. 97 00:05:18,827 --> 00:05:21,580 Oh, please. Underneath those four pounds of makeup 98 00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:24,222 and quarter inch of synthetically-paralysed skin, 99 00:05:24,416 --> 00:05:25,849 there is a frightened little drunk girl 100 00:05:26,001 --> 00:05:28,469 that I can already hear blubbering on the phone, 101 00:05:28,670 --> 00:05:31,468 "Oh, Perry, I miss you so." 102 00:05:33,383 --> 00:05:34,452 This is you. 103 00:05:34,593 --> 00:05:37,903 "Oh, Jordan, please come home. Please." 104 00:05:42,100 --> 00:05:44,375 See? This is why we're a great couple. 105 00:05:44,561 --> 00:05:48,156 Bag! Bet you call me before I call you, you pathetic wuss. 106 00:05:48,398 --> 00:05:49,672 You're on. 107 00:05:49,941 --> 00:05:52,136 Alone for the weekend. 108 00:05:52,402 --> 00:05:54,358 Wonder what he's gonna do. 109 00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:02,564 - Hi, Perry. - No, Newbie, get out! 110 00:06:02,746 --> 00:06:04,259 - Well, I thought it could be fun. - Get out. No. 111 00:06:04,414 --> 00:06:06,769 - Turk, he said no. - But you told me... 112 00:06:06,958 --> 00:06:08,789 I assumed he would say yes and... 113 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:10,393 I did not invite The Todd. 114 00:06:10,545 --> 00:06:12,456 Fellas, why you wearing such giant underwear? 115 00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:16,085 Sometimes you just gotta say, "What the fudge?" 116 00:06:16,301 --> 00:06:18,496 - That's not the line. - I saw it on a plane. 117 00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:23,066 Can I have one of these babies? 118 00:06:23,225 --> 00:06:24,624 Why do you call them babies? 119 00:06:24,768 --> 00:06:26,167 Don't know. Always have. 120 00:06:26,311 --> 00:06:28,108 I like you, Shirley. 121 00:06:28,730 --> 00:06:31,164 You know something? You look just like a nurse 122 00:06:31,358 --> 00:06:33,633 that used to work here named Laverne. 123 00:06:33,819 --> 00:06:35,616 - Doesn't she? - No. 124 00:06:35,779 --> 00:06:39,533 Oh, yes, she does. I feel like I'm looking at Laverne again. 125 00:06:40,784 --> 00:06:43,093 You just got yourself a new nickname, missy. 126 00:06:43,286 --> 00:06:45,242 See you in a bit, Lavernagain. Lavernagain! 127 00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:50,093 Baby, you can't just speak Spanish to my little African princess. 128 00:06:50,335 --> 00:06:52,166 She's not your little African princess. 129 00:06:52,337 --> 00:06:55,409 She's our little half-African, half-Latina princess. 130 00:06:55,674 --> 00:06:57,187 Baby, that's a little wordy. 131 00:06:57,342 --> 00:07:00,140 Here we go, Carla and Turk are at it again. 132 00:07:00,512 --> 00:07:02,582 My mother taught me how important my heritage is. 133 00:07:02,764 --> 00:07:03,992 I will do the same for lzzy 134 00:07:04,141 --> 00:07:06,257 and speaking Spanish is a huge part of that. 135 00:07:06,434 --> 00:07:09,232 Just a matter of time before they rope me in. 136 00:07:09,437 --> 00:07:11,234 Plus, I want to take her to the homeland. 137 00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:12,797 Any second now... 138 00:07:12,941 --> 00:07:16,138 Baby, you're from Chicago. Just get her a deep-dish pizza. 139 00:07:16,361 --> 00:07:18,921 You know what? Why don't you get me a deep-dish pizza, 140 00:07:19,114 --> 00:07:21,389 with onions and sausage? 141 00:07:21,575 --> 00:07:22,610 Here it comes. 142 00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:24,812 Turk, I was referring to the Dominican Republic. 143 00:07:24,995 --> 00:07:27,873 And if you say, "Isn't that where I bought my wrinkle-free chinos," 144 00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:30,595 I may kill you. Where are your ancestors from? 145 00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:33,480 The motherland? 146 00:07:33,628 --> 00:07:35,300 You don't even know. 147 00:07:35,755 --> 00:07:39,384 And now a gentle throat clear to let them know I'm ready to speak. 148 00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:43,392 J.D., drink some water. 149 00:07:49,436 --> 00:07:51,996 - Go to hell, Bob. - I didn't even say anything. 150 00:07:53,398 --> 00:07:56,231 There's nowhere else to sit so you can drop the scary stare. 151 00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:58,161 It doesn't work on me any more. 152 00:07:59,070 --> 00:08:01,504 Kicking me under the table's not going to make me leave either. 153 00:08:01,698 --> 00:08:03,893 I did it. You talk too much. 154 00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:06,790 Say, Bob, sorry about that "go to hell" thing earlier. 155 00:08:06,995 --> 00:08:09,953 - We're cool. - You're just pissy because Jordan left. 156 00:08:10,165 --> 00:08:11,837 I mean, I'm in the same boat. 157 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:15,834 Ever since I broke off my engagement, I live all alone in that big, empty house. 158 00:08:16,087 --> 00:08:18,806 Hell, Bob here is living at the hospital because Enid kicked him out. 159 00:08:19,007 --> 00:08:22,124 Did she just call me Bob? I will kick her again. 160 00:08:22,511 --> 00:08:24,786 We're like the lonely hearts table. 161 00:08:24,971 --> 00:08:28,043 No, no, actually, that's the lonely hearts table. 162 00:08:28,517 --> 00:08:30,747 Who are you? 163 00:08:33,271 --> 00:08:35,910 Okay, we'll never win the A Cappella-Palooza 164 00:08:36,107 --> 00:08:37,142 performing like that. 165 00:08:37,275 --> 00:08:41,427 And if we don't win, there's no chance of us getting laid at the after-party. 166 00:08:41,947 --> 00:08:45,383 Barbie, please stop lumping us in together. 167 00:08:45,617 --> 00:08:50,327 Tomorrow is my day off and I am joyous to have my place all to myself. 168 00:08:50,622 --> 00:08:52,897 You see, I'm a lot of things. 169 00:08:53,083 --> 00:08:56,075 I'm a Scorpio, a registered Independent, a foodie, a Parrothead. 170 00:08:56,294 --> 00:08:58,854 Yes, I do love that Jimmy Buffet. Always have, always will. 171 00:08:59,047 --> 00:09:00,685 - A leg man. - A right bastard. 172 00:09:00,841 --> 00:09:04,436 Thank you, Bob. But I can assure you the one thing I am not is... 173 00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:05,667 Straight? 174 00:09:05,804 --> 00:09:07,840 Audience participation is now over. 175 00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:10,926 The one thing I'm not is lonely. Capisce? 176 00:09:12,936 --> 00:09:14,289 Hey, you should know 177 00:09:14,437 --> 00:09:17,235 that new nurse hates the stupid nickname you gave her. 178 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,431 Lavernagain? No way. 179 00:09:20,735 --> 00:09:21,804 I hate it. 180 00:09:21,945 --> 00:09:24,061 Well, you might hate it now, Lavernagain. 181 00:09:24,239 --> 00:09:27,948 But once you've heard it a few times, you're gonna love it. 182 00:09:28,451 --> 00:09:30,760 - Lavernagain. - You're such a man of the people, 183 00:09:30,954 --> 00:09:32,785 do you even know anybody's real name? 184 00:09:32,956 --> 00:09:34,435 Of course I do. 185 00:09:36,918 --> 00:09:38,670 Why do people keep hiding behind you? 186 00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:41,234 Challenge, what's their real name? 187 00:09:42,257 --> 00:09:46,136 Well, she never told me her real name, but I like Lavernagain. 188 00:09:47,429 --> 00:09:51,024 And Snoop, I had hoped you'd legally changed your name to Snoop. 189 00:09:51,266 --> 00:09:53,177 Never got around to that? Okay. 190 00:09:54,561 --> 00:09:56,791 Colonel, I have to pass on you. 191 00:09:57,564 --> 00:09:58,633 Okay, you can get this one. 192 00:09:58,773 --> 00:10:02,004 I know it's just like Beardface, but not Beardface. What is it? 193 00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:03,224 Oh, right. 194 00:10:03,361 --> 00:10:04,350 Beard Mouth. 195 00:10:04,488 --> 00:10:07,048 - It's Beardfacé, damn it! - It's Beardfacé, damn it! 196 00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:10,175 Man of the people, indeed. 197 00:10:11,328 --> 00:10:14,957 It's always surprising to learn how people close to you really feel. 198 00:10:15,832 --> 00:10:18,266 How can you know nothing about your own background? 199 00:10:18,460 --> 00:10:22,419 Baby, what do you want me to say? It just doesn't mean that much to me. 200 00:10:24,007 --> 00:10:25,326 Still, the only person's feelings 201 00:10:25,467 --> 00:10:27,697 you can truly hope to know are your own. 202 00:10:27,886 --> 00:10:31,196 Daddy, Grandma says you once peed in her garden. 203 00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:32,466 Guilty. 204 00:10:32,599 --> 00:10:34,874 Hey, Perry. This doesn't count as me calling. 205 00:10:35,060 --> 00:10:36,095 It does so. 206 00:10:36,228 --> 00:10:39,186 'Cause I made Jack dial and you and I didn't speak. 207 00:10:39,397 --> 00:10:42,116 I just wanted to tell you I've decided to stay here through the week. 208 00:10:42,317 --> 00:10:43,306 Bye. 209 00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:46,977 Of course, sometimes a phone call changes everything. 210 00:10:49,533 --> 00:10:52,331 The obvious way to beat loneliness is with the company of others. 211 00:10:52,536 --> 00:10:55,528 Hey, Tedski. Could I maybe help you here? 212 00:10:55,747 --> 00:10:56,862 - That's a lot of files. - Really? 213 00:10:56,998 --> 00:10:58,829 - Thanks. - No problemo. 214 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,353 It only gets complicated 215 00:11:00,502 --> 00:11:02,572 if you don't want others to see that you're vulnerable. 216 00:11:02,754 --> 00:11:06,064 So, I heard Jordan's staying away the whole week now. 217 00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:07,812 Yeah, we've been texting each other a lot 218 00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:10,038 since we both found out that we're nervous pooers. 219 00:11:10,220 --> 00:11:12,415 I turned her on to one sound-proofer so talented, 220 00:11:12,597 --> 00:11:15,316 even someone with their ear to your door can't hear it when you foofy. 221 00:11:15,517 --> 00:11:17,553 Interesting. Tell you what, when she gets back 222 00:11:17,727 --> 00:11:20,560 you two ought to think about having a crazy-off. 223 00:11:20,772 --> 00:11:23,684 I'm going to text her that you said that. 224 00:11:26,236 --> 00:11:28,909 Goodness gracious, Ted. I'm sure sorry about that. 225 00:11:29,114 --> 00:11:30,945 It's okay. I'm used to it. 226 00:11:32,909 --> 00:11:36,538 Say, Ted, these are all just blank pieces of white paper. 227 00:11:36,788 --> 00:11:37,982 They... 228 00:11:39,457 --> 00:11:41,368 I need to look busy. 229 00:11:44,129 --> 00:11:46,245 Hello, tall, dark and 230 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,353 - whatever. - Handsome. 231 00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:49,543 No. 232 00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:51,871 Well done, Dr John "I think I'm a man of the people 233 00:11:52,053 --> 00:11:53,327 "but now thanks to the Janitor 234 00:11:53,472 --> 00:11:56,430 "everyone knows I'm a fraud and I have egg on my face" Dorian. 235 00:11:56,641 --> 00:11:58,472 That's your clever new nickname. 236 00:11:58,685 --> 00:12:01,279 Oh, my God! You finally have a nickname! 237 00:12:01,897 --> 00:12:03,410 I can admit when I'm wrong. 238 00:12:03,565 --> 00:12:07,524 So, challenge. I will learn everyone in the hospital's real name 239 00:12:07,777 --> 00:12:09,005 by the end of the day. 240 00:12:09,154 --> 00:12:11,873 You're gonna learn 310 names in one day? 241 00:12:12,073 --> 00:12:15,463 Hey, the night before my anatomy final, I got drunk on peppermint schnapps 242 00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:18,978 'cause Turk told me it was a special new mouthwash you could swallow. 243 00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:21,800 And after I was done crying and dry-heaving 244 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,673 and lying in the foetal position, I still managed to memorize 245 00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:27,631 all 216 bones in the human body. 246 00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:30,729 There's only 206 bones in the human body. 247 00:12:31,009 --> 00:12:33,477 Well, it appears I learned 10 more than I needed to. 248 00:12:33,678 --> 00:12:34,906 So how about a little wager? 249 00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:37,808 If I win, you have to do my job for a day. 250 00:12:38,016 --> 00:12:39,051 And if I win? 251 00:12:39,184 --> 00:12:41,095 I'll do my job for a day. 252 00:12:41,436 --> 00:12:42,630 How is that fair? 253 00:12:42,771 --> 00:12:44,921 I'll actually do my job for a day. 254 00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,252 Deal. 255 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:48,594 Do you know how? 256 00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:51,169 It's been a while. I can do it. 257 00:12:54,699 --> 00:12:57,372 Well, you look like you could use some help. 258 00:12:57,577 --> 00:13:00,808 I'm okay. Actually, I'm just looking for Carla. 259 00:13:01,039 --> 00:13:03,792 Does anyone need any help? 260 00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:06,890 Me. I need help. 261 00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:10,992 Get the hell out of the way! 262 00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:12,532 Hi. Help. 263 00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:18,037 Okay, Dr John "I think I'm a man of the people 264 00:13:18,223 --> 00:13:19,622 "but now thanks to the Janitor 265 00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:22,883 "everybody knows I'm a fraud and I have egg on my face" Dorian. 266 00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:24,138 Very funny. 267 00:13:24,271 --> 00:13:27,627 Perfect. Pretend you hate the nickname so it'll stick. 268 00:13:27,858 --> 00:13:29,257 Who is this? 269 00:13:29,401 --> 00:13:32,518 He's a doctor. I think it's Patrick or Paul. 270 00:13:32,737 --> 00:13:36,525 It's Gwen. Although she does have a mean case of man-face. 271 00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:38,614 Dr Cox, I just want to throw this out there. 272 00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:41,458 It feels really good to be your student again. 273 00:13:41,705 --> 00:13:42,694 Take that back 274 00:13:42,831 --> 00:13:45,664 or I'm going to shove every one of these Polaroids down your throat. 275 00:13:45,876 --> 00:13:47,867 Back to best friends it is. 276 00:13:48,170 --> 00:13:51,048 You know what you should use? Mnemonic devices. 277 00:13:51,256 --> 00:13:54,054 Associate the person's name with something about them. 278 00:13:54,259 --> 00:13:55,851 I do it all of the time. 279 00:13:56,011 --> 00:13:57,490 Like this guy. 280 00:13:57,637 --> 00:13:59,434 Look at him. 281 00:13:59,598 --> 00:14:02,112 Now there's no way he's ever going to make love to a woman 282 00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:06,666 unless that woman is dead and dead rhymes with Ted. 283 00:14:07,731 --> 00:14:08,766 Ted. 284 00:14:08,899 --> 00:14:10,935 That's how most people remember it. 285 00:14:13,361 --> 00:14:15,670 What was your mnemonic device for remembering my name? 286 00:14:15,864 --> 00:14:17,343 - Do you really want to know? - Do I? 287 00:14:17,491 --> 00:14:18,526 No. 288 00:14:19,284 --> 00:14:22,003 I knew it. Look at how much you don't want to be alone. 289 00:14:22,204 --> 00:14:25,560 You're actually helping out the guy who you claim annoys you the most. 290 00:14:25,790 --> 00:14:29,624 Elliot, it's been seven years. I think we all know I don't annoy him. 291 00:14:31,296 --> 00:14:33,764 Okay, you're in it now. Go for broke. 292 00:14:34,424 --> 00:14:35,903 Heck, I'd bet that Perry would admit 293 00:14:36,051 --> 00:14:38,849 that I'm not just a colleague, I'm a friend. 294 00:14:40,055 --> 00:14:42,285 And arm around him... 295 00:14:45,060 --> 00:14:48,018 Oh, my God. Is this what Heaven's like? 296 00:14:48,230 --> 00:14:50,346 Yep. Just helping out a friend. 297 00:14:50,524 --> 00:14:52,879 It has nothing to do with me being lonely. 298 00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:56,424 Hey, wait a second. Isn't today your day off? 299 00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:03,245 Hey, baby, you know something? You are absolutely right. 300 00:15:03,453 --> 00:15:05,091 I do need to learn more about my heritage, 301 00:15:05,247 --> 00:15:08,364 so I called my mom and she said somehow, distantly, 302 00:15:08,583 --> 00:15:11,416 I'm related to the guy who invented peanuts. 303 00:15:11,628 --> 00:15:13,220 Turk, that's George Washington Carver. 304 00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:16,736 He didn't invent peanuts. He just thought up uses for them. 305 00:15:16,967 --> 00:15:19,845 I'm talking about the little foam packaging peanuts. 306 00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:22,044 How dumb do you think I am? 307 00:15:22,681 --> 00:15:23,670 Baby! 308 00:15:23,807 --> 00:15:26,719 You just don't get what's really bothering me. 309 00:15:27,477 --> 00:15:30,150 A couple days ago, you dreamed in English. 310 00:15:30,689 --> 00:15:33,078 Three years of marriage and I'm starting to pay attention. 311 00:15:33,275 --> 00:15:37,029 I feel like I'm losing all connections to what makes me me, you know? 312 00:15:37,279 --> 00:15:40,749 My best friend is a very, very white girl from Connecticut. 313 00:15:40,991 --> 00:15:43,027 Look, if who I am keeps slipping away from me, 314 00:15:43,201 --> 00:15:45,590 how will I ever be able to pass it on to lzzy? 315 00:15:45,829 --> 00:15:47,740 It's bad enough that when people look at my daughter, 316 00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:50,109 they only see your little African princess. 317 00:15:50,292 --> 00:15:52,726 They think she's black, not half-black, half-Latina. 318 00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:55,387 - That's not true. - Oh, really? Watch. 319 00:15:55,589 --> 00:15:58,865 Sir, what race would you say this baby is? 320 00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:04,572 Oh, half black, half Latina, most likely Dominican origin. 321 00:16:04,973 --> 00:16:07,851 Then again, I am the new hospital geneticist. 322 00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:11,093 That's just bad luck, baby. 323 00:16:11,563 --> 00:16:12,712 Oh, my God. 324 00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:14,452 What the hell is wrong with me? 325 00:16:14,608 --> 00:16:16,519 I used to be an island. I didn't need anybody. 326 00:16:16,693 --> 00:16:19,969 Now I can't function for a week without Jordan and the kids. 327 00:16:20,197 --> 00:16:22,267 Well, luckily you have a lot of very close, 328 00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:24,565 special friends to help you through this. 329 00:16:24,743 --> 00:16:26,938 - J.D., stop it. - No, you stop it! 330 00:16:27,370 --> 00:16:29,247 I'm sorry you had to see me like that. 331 00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:31,128 Honest to God, I... 332 00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:33,570 I feel like I'm losing track of my identity. 333 00:16:33,794 --> 00:16:34,783 And just like that, 334 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:37,992 a lot of people found themselves asking the same question. 335 00:16:38,215 --> 00:16:40,171 This one's for the ladies. 336 00:16:42,552 --> 00:16:44,543 Who are you? 337 00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:48,201 I really want to know 338 00:16:48,350 --> 00:16:50,261 Who are you? 339 00:16:51,061 --> 00:16:52,380 Who am I? 340 00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:55,747 Who are you? 341 00:16:55,899 --> 00:16:57,127 Who am I? 342 00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:59,873 Who are you? You 343 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,675 - Who the hell is that? - It's Skip, the gynaecologist. 344 00:17:02,864 --> 00:17:04,741 Are you honestly whining because you feel attached 345 00:17:04,908 --> 00:17:06,307 to your wife and kids? 346 00:17:06,451 --> 00:17:07,930 I like the way I was. 347 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:10,235 Oh, you mean the giant jackass that nobody could stand to be around 348 00:17:10,413 --> 00:17:11,448 for more than 20 seconds? 349 00:17:11,623 --> 00:17:13,614 - Yes, I love that guy. - Me, too. 350 00:17:13,792 --> 00:17:15,703 Well, guess what? You're still him. 351 00:17:15,877 --> 00:17:17,435 Only now when you go home there's actually people there 352 00:17:17,587 --> 00:17:19,145 that are happy to see you. 353 00:17:19,297 --> 00:17:22,050 Probably 'cause they don't know any better. 354 00:17:25,637 --> 00:17:27,867 - That won't end well for you. - Okay, 355 00:17:29,808 --> 00:17:30,843 buddy. 356 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,192 What is so funny? 357 00:17:36,565 --> 00:17:38,920 I just think it's hilarious that you think 358 00:17:39,109 --> 00:17:41,543 you could stop being a proud Latin woman. 359 00:17:41,736 --> 00:17:44,375 Baby, all your ring tones are bachata music. 360 00:17:44,573 --> 00:17:46,882 You're the only nurse in this hospital who demands that any doctor 361 00:17:47,075 --> 00:17:49,543 who wants a big favour has to ask you in Spanish. 362 00:17:53,331 --> 00:17:54,320 So we got a daughter 363 00:17:54,457 --> 00:17:57,574 and life is moving at a really, really fast pace but, baby, 364 00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:02,337 you're always gonna be a Latina with an upside down exclamation point. 365 00:18:02,591 --> 00:18:03,944 You promise? 366 00:18:09,931 --> 00:18:12,399 And action. 367 00:18:13,602 --> 00:18:17,754 All right, he looks like a serial killer, which is a kind of cereal 368 00:18:18,023 --> 00:18:20,901 I'd want to stay away from like oat bran. 369 00:18:21,276 --> 00:18:22,311 Brandon. 370 00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:24,464 Correct. 371 00:18:24,905 --> 00:18:26,941 Okay. Snoop Dogg Attending. 372 00:18:27,115 --> 00:18:28,514 I saw him without his pants on once 373 00:18:28,658 --> 00:18:31,650 and he has crazy, skinny legs like French fries. 374 00:18:31,870 --> 00:18:35,465 French fries are sold at McDonald's, whose founder is Ronald McDonald. 375 00:18:35,707 --> 00:18:36,981 Ronald. 376 00:18:37,334 --> 00:18:39,848 You saw him without his pants on once. 377 00:18:40,295 --> 00:18:42,525 That's popcorn magnate Orville Redenbacher. 378 00:18:42,714 --> 00:18:43,863 Nice. 379 00:18:44,007 --> 00:18:46,521 We all want to be appreciated for our unique identities. 380 00:19:07,572 --> 00:19:08,925 No! 381 00:19:11,576 --> 00:19:13,134 Bad dream, baby? 382 00:19:13,870 --> 00:19:16,430 No. It was a great dream. 383 00:19:18,375 --> 00:19:20,047 What are you listening to? 384 00:19:20,210 --> 00:19:22,166 Some boring medical lecture. 385 00:19:23,046 --> 00:19:24,399 Go back to sleep. 386 00:19:24,548 --> 00:19:28,143 But when we decide to change who we are for someone we love... 387 00:19:29,553 --> 00:19:30,906 What time is it? 388 00:19:32,180 --> 00:19:35,252 ... we can surprise even ourselves with who we've become. 389 00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:37,625 All right, Jordan, you win. 390 00:19:38,103 --> 00:19:39,616 I miss you guys. 391 00:19:40,188 --> 00:19:42,304 I miss you, too, Daddy! 392 00:19:43,441 --> 00:19:46,239 Jordan, would you like to say the same thing? 393 00:19:46,903 --> 00:19:49,292 - I would not. - She would not. 394 00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:51,605 We'll call you tomorrow. Will we? 395 00:19:51,783 --> 00:19:53,011 - No. - No. 396 00:19:57,455 --> 00:19:59,207 Colonel Doctor. I call him that 397 00:19:59,374 --> 00:20:02,366 because he looks like that freaky Kentucky Fried Chicken guy. 398 00:20:02,586 --> 00:20:04,383 KFC makes coleslaw. 399 00:20:05,172 --> 00:20:08,881 Coleman Slawski. Incidentally, my favourite name ever. 400 00:20:09,134 --> 00:20:11,887 That's correct. But you also lost the bet. 401 00:20:12,345 --> 00:20:14,575 - What are you talking about? I won. - Nope. 402 00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:19,660 That's not fair. Nobody knows your name. 403 00:20:19,853 --> 00:20:21,764 You know what that means? 404 00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:24,842 Fine, you win. 405 00:20:24,983 --> 00:20:27,099 Yep. And you know what that means? 406 00:20:28,195 --> 00:20:31,983 It's like this ammonia is seeping into my brain and making me violent 407 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:33,912 and angry and hateful. 408 00:20:34,075 --> 00:20:35,872 Yep. That's how it starts. 409 00:20:36,036 --> 00:20:37,105 What the hell you looking at? 410 00:20:37,245 --> 00:20:39,076 - Nice. - That felt good. 411 00:20:40,305 --> 00:21:40,301 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP