1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,754
Since the geriatric wing
was being remodelled,
2
00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:06,559
Turk and I were herding
old people to their new rooms.
3
00:00:06,756 --> 00:00:08,906
That's a closet, Mr Jenkins.
4
00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:10,286
Come on, Mr Benedetti.
5
00:00:10,427 --> 00:00:12,861
You're only a few thousand
tiny steps away.
6
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:17,601
J.D., we need to find a way
to move these gomers faster.
7
00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:23,785
All aboard the Love Train.
8
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:31,074
Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports
Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP
9
00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:40,832
That was a fun fantasy.
I wish it didn't have to end.
10
00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:47,096
Hey. That's a nice jacket, Ted.
11
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:49,234
What is that, wool?
12
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:52,419
It's a poly-nylon blend.
Do you really like it?
13
00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:55,833
No. Bathroom's just out
of paper towels.
14
00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:02,525
I know it's confusing,
but these are your new rooms, okay?
15
00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:05,080
Please try to stay put.
16
00:01:05,273 --> 00:01:06,308
Great.
17
00:01:06,816 --> 00:01:07,805
Bye-bye.
18
00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:12,875
Since Elliot revealed
that Dr Kelso is 65,
19
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,587
the Board was forcing him
to retire in a few weeks.
20
00:01:16,117 --> 00:01:17,550
This is even worse
than when they decided
21
00:01:17,702 --> 00:01:20,535
that female staffers
couldn't wear open-toed shoes.
22
00:01:21,289 --> 00:01:23,200
Obviously, this is much worse.
23
00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:25,099
But that sucked, too.
24
00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:28,721
I feel like I've given my life to this place
and got nothing in return.
25
00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:32,638
I mean, is there an MRI machine
in my basement? Maybe.
26
00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:36,399
I guess I just wanted to end my career
on my own terms, you know?
27
00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:38,913
We got to help him save his job.
28
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,249
- You guys are gonna help, right?
- Of course.
29
00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:43,550
First we have to handle something.
30
00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:47,880
Dr Cox had a patient that he hadn't
been able to diagnose for two years.
31
00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:49,741
And he was back again.
32
00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:53,291
Look, Alex, I'm afraid I still don't know
what's causing all of this,
33
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:57,239
so I'm gonna go ahead and treat your
heart palpitations with beta blockers.
34
00:01:57,742 --> 00:02:01,257
Turk and I couldn't resist playing
a little game called "poke the bear."
35
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:04,806
So, Turk, yesterday I had this patient
I just could not diagnose.
36
00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:07,475
Wow, you must have felt
like a real jackass.
37
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:09,022
I did feel like a jackass.
38
00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:10,842
But then I was able to figure out
what was wrong with him.
39
00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:13,725
Because I'm not a jackass.
I'm a good doctor.
40
00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:17,804
Okay, now just stay calm
so he doesn't know what you're up to.
41
00:02:18,054 --> 00:02:19,931
Oh, no. Turk's breaking.
42
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:22,851
Quick! Distract the bear
with a casual greeting.
43
00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:25,448
Oh, hey, Dr Cox. How are things?
44
00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:29,980
Oh, my God. That was amazing.
I've never felt so alive in my whole life.
45
00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:31,419
My heart stopped for a second.
46
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:33,399
- We made it. I love you, man.
- I love you, too.
47
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:36,523
You smell like an athlete.
48
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,693
- I need one of those.
- A hug?
49
00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:44,149
No, a black friend.
I think it would make me much cooler.
50
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,689
I should be offended, but he's right.
51
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,024
Why are you so gloomy?
52
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:51,160
I thought you'd be super-psyched
that Kelso's being forced out of his job.
53
00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:53,210
Dr Kelso's being forced out?
54
00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:54,860
I did not know that.
55
00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:57,172
Will you excuse me for a moment?
56
00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:01,552
I'm free! I'm free!
57
00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:04,954
I'm beautiful and I'm free! I'm free!
58
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,743
Give me some sugar!
59
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:10,812
It's finally over! I'm free!
60
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,813
Holy cow. Buddy, are you all right?
61
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,020
Ted?
62
00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:23,654
Are you not talking because
your mouth is filling up with blood?
63
00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:27,544
You're gonna pass out, aren't you?
Oh, boy. There he goes.
64
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:51,406
At certain times in our lives,
we all get introspective.
65
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:53,639
Taking it all in, too?
66
00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:55,216
Why don't you have a seat, son?
67
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,999
Actually, sir,
my shift is about to start, so I should...
68
00:03:58,196 --> 00:04:00,869
Son, I don't care
if the cure for cancer was laughter
69
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,668
and you had Nipsey Russell
in your backpack. Park it.
70
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,554
I want to get all nostalgic and crap.
71
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:10,648
What's that strange red puddle
oozing towards us?
72
00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:12,665
That's just Ted's blood.
73
00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:15,031
Apparently, he bit off
a chunk of his tongue.
74
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:19,646
Anyway, when I started here,
I was only 26.
75
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:26,069
And done. 23 stitches.
76
00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:28,025
Here's some painkillers.
77
00:04:28,893 --> 00:04:32,522
I want you to take one of those
every four hours, okay?
78
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,664
And no trying to talk.
79
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,676
I keep thinking about Kelso.
He reminds me of my grandpa.
80
00:04:39,195 --> 00:04:41,914
He's pervy, demeaning,
and an eensy bit racist,
81
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:45,710
but you crave his love anyway
because he smells like peppermint.
82
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:48,705
I've always respected Kelso.
He's got a tough job.
83
00:04:48,913 --> 00:04:49,948
And I bet deep down,
84
00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:52,037
everybody here wants us
to help him keep it.
85
00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:55,833
Ted, no talking.
86
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:57,676
We do know a Board member.
87
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:04,812
Why would anyone
want to save Kelso's job?
88
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:06,366
- For starters...
- You know what?
89
00:05:06,514 --> 00:05:09,551
I don't honestly care
one way or the other.
90
00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:11,724
- About Kelso?
- About anything.
91
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:15,092
But then again, you two are
young enough and attractive enough
92
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:18,546
that I'm not angry when people assume
we're friends, so what the hell?
93
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:20,176
Here's what you do,
94
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,117
Board members hate confrontation.
95
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:23,998
There's a Board meeting tonight.
96
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,387
Just show up at the hospital
with all the movers and shakers
97
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:28,885
in support of Kelso, they'll cave.
98
00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:30,724
All right.
99
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,590
Okay, I'll support Kelso.
100
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:33,943
But, in return,
101
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:36,473
I want you to put me in a full body cast
and take me to the airport.
102
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:37,739
I'll explain later.
103
00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:39,028
Why would we do that?
104
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:42,244
Because I'm the biggest moverlshaker
in this dump.
105
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:45,140
- Come on.
- You handle this. And be nice.
106
00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:46,793
All right.
107
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:49,763
Are you familiar with the term
"delusions of grandeur"?
108
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,972
I believe I coined that term.
109
00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:54,657
Look, I'm a simple unassuming janitor
110
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:57,652
who can control people's actions
with his mind.
111
00:05:57,857 --> 00:05:59,051
Observe.
112
00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:01,129
Explode!
113
00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:07,007
If that would've worked it would've
freaked you out. You'd have loved it!
114
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,402
Fall.
115
00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:12,857
Hello?
116
00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:18,727
I think this might be the thousandth
time I've peed in a cup for you, Doc.
117
00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:20,714
Well then, to us.
118
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,213
- Hard to celebrate?
- Yeah.
119
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:25,703
I got it.
120
00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:31,558
Jeez Louise, can you believe
how many files I have on this guy?
121
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:35,005
The only way I've been able to bind
them together is with this bike bungee.
122
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,422
Hang on to that for a second,
will you, please?
123
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:37,757
Sure.
124
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:40,570
I don't think he realises
we were making fun of him earlier.
125
00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:41,844
Say, what's up with your arm?
126
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:46,940
Oh, boy.
127
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:54,676
I'm sorry, dude. That was awesome.
128
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,812
Dr Cox, we're sorry.
Don't worry, though.
129
00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:00,117
Turk and I are gonna help you
diagnose this patient.
130
00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:03,970
That's terrific because I'm so darn lost,
I just keep procrastinating.
131
00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:07,013
I check my email
or I pick up a copy of US Weekly
132
00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:10,494
to see which of my favourite celebs
is bringing back the fedora.
133
00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:12,280
It's Johnny Depp, by the way.
134
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,946
- He doesn't think we could help.
- I'd look good in a fedora.
135
00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:16,371
Turk, focus. We're being insulted.
136
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:18,237
I'm tired of you not focusing
when someone insults us.
137
00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:20,068
It ends up all on me.
138
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:22,461
Hey, if you really want to be useful,
139
00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:25,801
make like an orderly and take
that urine sample down to the lab.
140
00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:27,223
Follow me.
141
00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:32,008
Money, right?
142
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,754
How does that have anything to do
with what Dr Cox said?
143
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:36,751
What did Dr Cox say?
144
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:40,157
Afternoon, Mr Mandelbaum.
145
00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:43,380
Shouldn't we stop him?
146
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:47,190
No, the security guard
will keep him out of traffic.
147
00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:54,482
You know, when I was an intern,
they made us work 60-hour shifts.
148
00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:58,512
Yeah, quite a few colleagues
got drummed out
149
00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:00,598
because they couldn't cope.
150
00:08:00,772 --> 00:08:05,288
The rest of us were so sleep deprived,
we could barely manage to stay sane.
151
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,708
I'll never forget
the day we caught Seth Finkel
152
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,941
gently cradling a cadaver head
153
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:14,392
which he swore
belonged to his ex-girlfriend, Millie.
154
00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:20,015
A year later Seth actually did kill Millie.
155
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:24,045
Ironically, Millie donated
her body to science
156
00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:28,964
and that spring, we caught
another intern cradling her dead head.
157
00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:34,086
Life's little cycles.
158
00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:37,461
Can't believe that was
almost 40 years ago.
159
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,420
Sir?
160
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:48,137
You tell them, Mandelbaum!
161
00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:52,300
Hey, slick.
162
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,565
Will you come to the Board meeting
tonight to help Dr Kelso?
163
00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:56,415
Now why on Earth would I do that?
164
00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:58,409
For some reason,
she thinks if you call a man "slick,"
165
00:08:58,580 --> 00:08:59,729
he'll do anything for you.
166
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,829
It also works on lesbians, so...
167
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:02,989
Come on.
168
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:06,038
You know that deep down inside you're
okay with Kelso running this place.
169
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:09,929
Deep down, I hate Bob Kelso
and wish he would die painfully.
170
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:11,972
Here's the research you wanted.
171
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:13,614
Thanks, slick.
172
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:16,230
Look, Kelso's a pain in the ass.
You know what I say?
173
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,661
Bring on the next pain in the ass.
174
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,728
Hermione, have you seen
Mr Macrae's urine test?
175
00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:23,289
I'm on it, slick.
176
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,694
You don't remember where you left
that cup of pee, do you?
177
00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:27,973
No clue.
We have to find it or he's gonna kill us.
178
00:09:28,151 --> 00:09:30,585
Us? Try you. He's not killing me.
179
00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:32,610
Why is it getting harder to walk?
180
00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:38,646
Dude.
181
00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:43,386
That was lucky.
182
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:46,590
So, have you killed anyone yet?
183
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,027
What? No.
184
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:49,949
Well, you will.
185
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:51,954
Super.
186
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:54,560
It's a rite of passage for doctors.
187
00:09:56,346 --> 00:10:00,180
If you're lucky, it'll be a patient
who's on his way out anyway.
188
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:04,267
My first kill was a 19-year-old girl.
189
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:08,639
She came in
with severe abdominal pain.
190
00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:10,769
I thought it was appendicitis.
191
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:14,906
Turned out she was pregnant
and didn't know it.
192
00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:19,236
It was ectopic
and she was bleeding internally.
193
00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:22,751
I should've checked for that.
194
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:28,052
But by the time I discovered
my mistake, it was too late.
195
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,794
Sometimes I look at this old hospital,
196
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:35,241
I actually see the faces of
all the patients I've lost.
197
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:44,378
Priceless.
198
00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:48,671
But I do see them sometimes.
199
00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:52,379
We don't need Dr Cox, you know?
200
00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:54,438
We'll round up everyone else.
And not just the doctors,
201
00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:56,682
we'll get all
the non-medical personnel, too.
202
00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:59,140
Good idea. Ted?
203
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:03,769
Who would you say is the leader
of the support staff?
204
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,965
Well, well.
Look who's come crawling back
205
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:13,162
through the desert of shame
to the oasis of hope,
206
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:17,169
begging for just one sip
of cool Janitor forgiveness.
207
00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:19,418
Well, the answer's no.
208
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:20,964
Please, Janitor.
209
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:22,689
All right, I'm in. Doggone it.
210
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,840
I cannot resist
that adorable mug of yours.
211
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:29,057
I would have to throw a cup of acid on it
to keep it from having power over me.
212
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:32,412
Okay. So we just have
to round up everyone else.
213
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:33,837
That should be easy.
214
00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:37,264
That was impossible.
215
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:40,992
- Where did I leave that stupid pee?
- Dude, retrace your steps.
216
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,192
Okay. I remember
we were walking this way,
217
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:46,362
and you had to stop Mrs Butler
from wandering out of her room again...
218
00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:49,379
No, no. Mrs Butler, back in here.
219
00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:51,484
- Then I got paged to surgery.
- Right.
220
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:54,540
And I came with you to cheer you on
and to hold your fedora.
221
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:57,668
And then we went out to the ramp
to celebrate.
222
00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:00,599
There it is.
223
00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:02,400
Why would it turn purple?
224
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,467
You know, those two remind me
225
00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:08,520
of a couple of dogs I had
when I was a boy.
226
00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:10,491
JoJo and Spike.
227
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,753
One day, JoJo got his head stuck
in the mailbox
228
00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:17,537
and Spike went over to try to help him
and got his head wedged in there, too,
229
00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:19,292
and they both suffocated.
230
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:23,334
They were extremely dumb animals,
but close.
231
00:12:24,828 --> 00:12:28,343
Sir, my shift started two hours ago.
I should really go.
232
00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:34,304
You know, there are some things I sure
as hell will not miss about this place.
233
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:38,182
Like how, more often than not,
medical skill doesn't matter.
234
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:40,461
It all comes down to dumb luck.
235
00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:42,849
Okay, I'm googling purple pee.
236
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:44,810
Google that bitch!
237
00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:46,964
That's it. We left it in the sun.
238
00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:49,531
"If urine exposed to
UV light turns purple,
239
00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:53,164
"it's a sign of a rare genetic disorder
called Acute Intermittent Porphyria.
240
00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:57,277
"Symptoms include bloating,
high blood pressure, seizures."
241
00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:59,563
Cox's patient has all of those.
242
00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:01,171
We figured it out.
243
00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:02,835
One, two, three.
244
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:06,381
In his face!
245
00:13:07,329 --> 00:13:10,082
Or how you can often
have more questions than answers.
246
00:13:10,582 --> 00:13:14,575
I just don't understand why
no one will help us save Kelso's job.
247
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:17,149
That's easy.
Word got out that he wants Kelso gone.
248
00:13:17,339 --> 00:13:19,853
And no one wants to cross him
because he's a scary guy.
249
00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:23,565
Now I'm not scared of him,
but that's because I'm magic.
250
00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:26,003
Is he dancing?
251
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,174
- No.
- No.
252
00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:31,853
Or how every day in this place
is made up of little battles.
253
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:34,659
Or how around here,
once the ball starts rolling,
254
00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:37,290
there's not much you can do to...
255
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:39,940
Sorry, sir, did you have another?
256
00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:42,909
Or how around here,
once the ball starts rolling,
257
00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:45,469
there's not much you can do to stop it.
258
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:50,349
He's out of here.
259
00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:55,499
Or how patients don't appreciate
their doctors any more.
260
00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:59,540
Or how medical skill doesn't matter,
it's all just dumb luck.
261
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:02,751
- You already said that one, sir.
- Son, my blood sugar is low,
262
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:06,164
and unless you have a candy bar
in that gay little knapsack of yours,
263
00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:07,662
shush it.
264
00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:12,910
Or how if you get to the cafeteria
past 5:00, they're always out of pie.
265
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,539
Damn it!
266
00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:17,600
What, do you buy, like,
one pie for the whole hospital?
267
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,372
You ask him.
If I do it, he'll say something mean
268
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:22,961
that will really hurt my feelings.
269
00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:25,627
We want you
to reconsider helping Kelso.
270
00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:27,576
Could I get a "hell, no"
from any random doctor?
271
00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:29,255
- Hell no!
- Thank you, whomever.
272
00:14:29,411 --> 00:14:32,801
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to get
far, far away from annoying people,
273
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:36,827
especially whiny childless blondes
with stained coffee teeth.
274
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:40,941
Look at that. He got you anyway.
275
00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:46,139
What the hell is this?
276
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:51,956
What's the occasion?
277
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,978
Did Barbie finally wax
her tiny annoying moustache?
278
00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:58,178
Stop saying mean things about me!
I'm not even talking to you!
279
00:14:59,274 --> 00:15:00,753
We diagnosed your patient, buddy.
280
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,778
- He's got Acute Intermittent Porphyria.
- What?
281
00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:07,866
If it makes you feel any better,
it did almost take us three hours.
282
00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:09,834
Oh, for the love of God.
283
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:15,070
1985 was gonna be my year.
284
00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:17,489
Reaganomics was in full swing,
285
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,464
Enid's implants hadn't exploded yet
286
00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:21,697
and best of all,
they made me Chief of Medicine,
287
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,677
so I was the king, right?
288
00:15:24,007 --> 00:15:25,486
Wrong-o.
289
00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:28,625
I realised fast that in order
to keep this old place going,
290
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:31,643
I had to make one unpopular decision
after another,
291
00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:34,282
regardless of who hated me for it.
292
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:38,358
And that was a lonely realisation, son.
293
00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:42,211
And here comes my biggest fan.
294
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:46,059
Bob, there is finally a diagnosis
on Mr Macrae.
295
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:48,076
He has Acute Intermittent Porphyria,
296
00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:51,072
and now his insurance company
wants him discharged immediately.
297
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:54,640
I'd like to fudge the paperwork
a little bit, keep him around longer,
298
00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:56,668
and teach him
how to manage his disease.
299
00:15:56,831 --> 00:15:59,299
- No.
- I realise that your heart is made up
300
00:15:59,501 --> 00:16:02,379
mostly of muffin bits, the souls of
little babies and the denture grip
301
00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:03,906
you swallow every time
you suck your teeth
302
00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:07,244
to get out the muffin bits
and baby souls stuck in there,
303
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,502
but what do you care?
304
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,353
You're not even gonna be around
any more.
305
00:16:10,512 --> 00:16:12,582
Damn it, I'm still Chief.
306
00:16:12,764 --> 00:16:13,799
Now,
307
00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:17,322
if you want to fudge the paperwork,
I want a promise from you
308
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,835
that you will publish
a paper on the case. Deal?
309
00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:22,417
Deal.
310
00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:25,318
He'll never publish
a paper on that case.
311
00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:28,514
He knows just how to play me.
312
00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:33,088
Sure, he likes to pretend
that I win more than he does,
313
00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:36,519
but he walks away victorious
more often than not.
314
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:40,174
There's gotta be a way to get Dr Cox
to change his mind.
315
00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:42,013
Perry does not sway so easily.
316
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:43,647
Unlike your husband,
who would probably cave
317
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,194
if you showed him your cans.
318
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,930
Don't even have to show him both.
319
00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:49,843
The left one's cooler.
Looks like a sea lion's face.
320
00:16:50,051 --> 00:16:52,007
It does. Turk drew it for me.
321
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:54,256
Come on, Jordan, think.
There's got to be a way.
322
00:16:54,431 --> 00:16:56,103
Oh, my God, enough.
323
00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:59,144
You know, there might be something
I can do to change his mind.
324
00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:04,733
So here's the truth,
325
00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:09,150
I was only able to diagnose your patient
when I left his urine outside in the sun
326
00:17:09,404 --> 00:17:10,598
where it turned purple.
327
00:17:10,739 --> 00:17:14,698
Then I googled "purple pee"
and the Internet gave me the answer.
328
00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:16,589
The universe makes sense again.
329
00:17:16,745 --> 00:17:20,340
But please don't think this is going to
make me change my mind about Kelso.
330
00:17:20,582 --> 00:17:24,541
What if I was to sweeten the deal
with a sketch of Carla's boob?
331
00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:26,728
That's an otter.
332
00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:32,363
Even though I knew
it was coming eventually,
333
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:36,431
it still shook me when the Board said
I had to leave Sacred Heart.
334
00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:39,138
But you know that, don't you?
335
00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:41,903
You've been sitting here
listening to me yap all day.
336
00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:44,530
By the way, what's your name, son?
337
00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:46,422
Boon, sir.
338
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:49,239
My God, what a ridiculous name. Boon.
339
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:52,606
Boon. My name is Boon.
340
00:17:54,866 --> 00:17:57,699
Well, I guess you should go, Boon.
341
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:01,244
Really? Thank you, sir.
342
00:18:05,377 --> 00:18:08,847
So you think my next 20 years here
will be a nightmare?
343
00:18:09,381 --> 00:18:12,817
No. I think you'll love it.
344
00:18:20,975 --> 00:18:22,931
I have news, Mr Macrae.
345
00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:27,255
You have Acute Intermittent Porphyria.
Now, while that is manageable,
346
00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:30,322
I'm afraid there is no cure.
347
00:18:31,152 --> 00:18:33,507
And then we got a response
we didn't expect.
348
00:18:33,697 --> 00:18:36,575
Oh, man. I couldn't be happier.
349
00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:38,849
Excuse me?
350
00:18:39,202 --> 00:18:43,081
Just knowing what it is makes it
so much easier to deal with, you know?
351
00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:46,054
And then I saw something
click in Dr Cox.
352
00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:49,641
What Mr Macrae was saying,
is that the enemy you know
353
00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:52,393
is always better
than the one you don't.
354
00:18:52,841 --> 00:18:55,674
The Board meeting is about to start.
It's just the three of you?
355
00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:57,159
I'll probably say a few words as well.
356
00:18:57,303 --> 00:19:00,340
Mostly about the potential
of mind control in modern medicine.
357
00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:01,751
This should go well.
358
00:19:02,225 --> 00:19:04,375
Wait. There's more people coming.
359
00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:05,596
When?
360
00:19:05,729 --> 00:19:07,799
Right now. Love Train.
361
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:18,885
Well, you could've made
a bigger entrance.
362
00:19:19,034 --> 00:19:21,150
Let's get this over before I puke.
363
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,945
Well, Bob, your employees
really stood by you.
364
00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:35,804
- They pointed out to the Board that...
- Hi.
365
00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:40,752
Well, you run a tight ship.
And actually, we'd like you to stay on.
366
00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:45,067
Girls, thank you for saving my job.
367
00:19:46,561 --> 00:19:49,678
The one thing I wanted
was to end things on my own terms,
368
00:19:49,898 --> 00:19:52,287
and since you're letting me,
369
00:19:52,484 --> 00:19:55,078
you can shove it up your ass, Rodney.
370
00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,456
I'm out of here.
371
00:20:06,581 --> 00:20:09,141
I'm taking this with me, damn it.
372
00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:17,816
Thanks for everything, Ted. Sincerely.
373
00:20:19,302 --> 00:20:21,099
You're welcome, sir.
374
00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:30,283
I wonder if he even cared
about this place at all.
375
00:20:31,189 --> 00:20:33,749
Yeah. He did.
376
00:20:34,305 --> 00:21:34,748
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