1 00:00:08,041 --> 00:00:09,474 That's new. 2 00:00:09,776 --> 00:00:11,801 Oh, yeah. My girlfriend gave me a watch. 3 00:00:12,245 --> 00:00:13,644 You give a crap? Or are you just hoping 4 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,773 that by pointing out something new of mine, 5 00:00:15,815 --> 00:00:20,115 I'll segue the conversation into talking about something new of yours, like... 6 00:00:20,153 --> 00:00:22,815 Your new pre-pubescent Miami Vice beard. 7 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:25,552 There are those who say I look like a young Kenny Loggins. 8 00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:27,457 - Who? - Me. 9 00:00:27,927 --> 00:00:29,622 J.D.: Time to go teach the new interns. 10 00:00:29,662 --> 00:00:33,098 They started a week ago and they sucked. 11 00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:37,794 This patient's loss of temperature sensation on the contralateral side 12 00:00:37,837 --> 00:00:40,670 is consistent with which syndrome, Rodney? 13 00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:43,767 There was Katie, the self-centered climber... 14 00:00:43,810 --> 00:00:45,437 McConaughey's. 15 00:00:45,745 --> 00:00:46,905 McConaughey's. 16 00:00:46,946 --> 00:00:48,675 McConaughey is not a syndrome. 17 00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,910 He is, however, one of our finest working actors. 18 00:00:50,950 --> 00:00:53,748 I recently learned how I could lose him in ten days. 19 00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:57,245 Katie is sabotaging you, I assume, because she knows the answer. 20 00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:58,655 Brown-Sequard Syndrome. 21 00:00:58,691 --> 00:01:00,249 Yeah, Katie got it. 22 00:01:01,694 --> 00:01:04,595 There was Denise, who could be a bit callous. 23 00:01:04,631 --> 00:01:08,567 You know, it's ironic that cancer starts with "can," 24 00:01:08,601 --> 00:01:12,298 because, at this stage, there's nothing we can do about it. 25 00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,764 Let's take a walk, sunshine. I... 26 00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:16,742 And there was Ed. 27 00:01:16,776 --> 00:01:19,108 Ed, did you finish those case reports last night? 28 00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:21,443 I totally was gonna do it, man, 29 00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:25,042 but I was on this Lost fan site last night, talking to this chick. 30 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:29,249 About an hour in, I realize it's a dude, messing with me. 31 00:01:29,289 --> 00:01:31,621 - I've been there. - Revenge time. 32 00:01:31,658 --> 00:01:34,058 I signed up for a new account, HotGirl99. 33 00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,118 I start flirting with this dude, 34 00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:39,131 I'm like, "Oh, hey, I look just like Kate." And he's totally into it, right? 35 00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:40,860 Next thing you know, I got him to agree 36 00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:43,334 to a personal meet-up here in the hospital, 37 00:01:43,369 --> 00:01:46,031 where he'll be holding a red balloon. 38 00:01:49,742 --> 00:01:52,734 - Wait a minute, you're HotGirl99? - Yeah. 39 00:01:55,348 --> 00:01:56,940 The new interns all suck. 40 00:01:56,983 --> 00:01:58,814 Yeah, but I'm going to handle it. 41 00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:01,753 Like you handled Jimmy, the overly-touchy orderly? 42 00:02:03,189 --> 00:02:04,918 - Somebody looking for me? - No, Jimmy, we're fine. 43 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,152 All right. Let me know if you need anything. 44 00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:07,352 Okay. 45 00:02:08,027 --> 00:02:10,359 Have you noticed he only touches above the waist now? 46 00:02:10,396 --> 00:02:11,795 You're welcome. 47 00:02:11,831 --> 00:02:15,028 You know, our intern class was the last good one. 48 00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:18,202 You must have liked my class a little, seeing as you almost married me. 49 00:02:18,238 --> 00:02:20,536 Yeah, but, hello, Keith. I didn't. 50 00:02:23,209 --> 00:02:25,973 J.D.: That was harsh, but no one cared because today we were meeting 51 00:02:26,012 --> 00:02:28,310 Dr. Kelso's replacement as Chief of Medicine, 52 00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:30,077 Dr. Taylor Maddox. 53 00:02:30,116 --> 00:02:33,244 She was smoking hot, so first I had to see her like this. 54 00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:41,558 I wanna be your lover baby I wanna be your man 55 00:02:41,594 --> 00:02:45,291 I don't want no other baby Want you again and again 56 00:02:45,532 --> 00:02:48,990 And I've waited all night long Now I know what I wanna do 57 00:02:49,569 --> 00:02:53,164 I just wanna make love to you 58 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,614 Hi. Hi. 59 00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:04,879 J.D.: But then I noticed how friendly she seemed. 60 00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,886 She had the most infectious smile. 61 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,753 No one could resist it. And I mean no one. 62 00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:11,721 - No. - Yes. 63 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,254 Never. 64 00:03:14,494 --> 00:03:16,359 Here it comes. 65 00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:20,526 Clear. 66 00:03:24,737 --> 00:03:25,931 Brava! 67 00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:28,632 Yes! 68 00:03:29,642 --> 00:03:31,337 You proud fool. 69 00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:34,943 Okay. I'm gonna tell you everything you need to know about me. 70 00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:37,381 One, I have an open door policy. 71 00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:40,648 Two, if you do your job well, you're great with me, okay? 72 00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:43,178 And three, I don't like spiders. 73 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,088 So if you see one, I want you to stomp it. 74 00:03:45,124 --> 00:03:47,285 I want you to stomp it dead, okay? 75 00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:50,057 I don't want you to put it into a little cup and take it outside, 76 00:03:50,096 --> 00:03:53,759 because it'll just find its way back in, okay? They're sneaky. 77 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:56,462 Oh! Can someone help that man to his room? 78 00:03:56,936 --> 00:03:59,871 Oh, no, I'm not sick. 79 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:03,000 I'm just cold and there were no chairs. 80 00:04:04,143 --> 00:04:06,407 I'm... I'm a lawyer. 81 00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:08,914 Of course you are, sweetie. 82 00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:10,279 I'm on it. 83 00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:12,341 She's the new boss, Ted. 84 00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:18,856 You okay? Does it hurt here? Or here? 85 00:04:19,125 --> 00:04:21,093 How about here? Or under here? 86 00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:22,651 Do I know you? 87 00:04:22,695 --> 00:04:24,128 Jimmy, heel! 88 00:04:24,197 --> 00:04:25,391 - Slowly move. - No. Jimmy. 89 00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:27,262 Slowly move. Don't rush anything. 90 00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:28,665 - Jimmy. - Gonna be okay. 91 00:04:28,701 --> 00:04:31,534 Breathe deep for me. Real slow. I just wanna feel you breathe. 92 00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:36,469 Yeah. That's a boy, that's a boy. That's a boy. 93 00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:37,908 Here, breathe on my face. 94 00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:41,471 I can't do this all on my own 95 00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:43,004 No, I know 96 00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:44,914 I'm no Superman 97 00:04:48,187 --> 00:04:49,882 I'm no Superman 98 00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:53,949 J.D.: Okay. Time to connect with the new Chief 99 00:04:53,993 --> 00:04:58,362 using a picture of my son and some brilliant acting. 100 00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:02,198 - Is that your boy? - What's that? Oh, yeah. 101 00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:04,163 His name is Sam. 102 00:05:04,203 --> 00:05:06,034 I have a daughter of my own. 103 00:05:06,072 --> 00:05:07,562 J.D.: It's working. 104 00:05:08,007 --> 00:05:10,202 Now, seal the deal with a follow-up question, 105 00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:12,336 but nothing too personal. 106 00:05:12,378 --> 00:05:14,437 Did you deliver vaginally? 107 00:05:14,681 --> 00:05:15,773 I did. 108 00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:17,840 Big girl. Must have hurt. 109 00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:19,545 Wow! 110 00:05:22,021 --> 00:05:23,579 Hi, Mr. Hicks, 111 00:05:23,623 --> 00:05:26,387 so you were admitted to the hospital with shortness of breath? 112 00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:28,451 - Yes, that's right. - Okay, so I'm just gonna... 113 00:05:29,562 --> 00:05:33,089 Die! Die! Die! Sorry, spider. 114 00:05:33,299 --> 00:05:36,757 I'm just gonna take you up and get you a full-body scan, okay? 115 00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:37,963 Yeah. 116 00:05:39,138 --> 00:05:40,901 And there she goes. 117 00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:44,104 A Chief of Medicine working one-on-one with a patient? 118 00:05:44,143 --> 00:05:46,077 Maybe she's not so bad. 119 00:05:46,112 --> 00:05:47,477 I think she's probably a jerk. 120 00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:50,380 - Why? - That position attracts jerks. 121 00:05:50,416 --> 00:05:55,012 Plus, I know jerks. Hell, I married a jerk. I divorced a jerk... 122 00:05:55,054 --> 00:05:57,420 - New freckle. - I'm interrupted by jerks. 123 00:05:57,457 --> 00:05:59,618 Look, just give me two minutes with this Maddox 124 00:05:59,659 --> 00:06:01,991 and I'll know for sure whether or not she's a jerk. 125 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,325 Well, go. 126 00:06:03,896 --> 00:06:05,056 Pass. 127 00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:11,035 I know people are down on these new interns, 128 00:06:11,070 --> 00:06:13,038 but everyone's teachable, you know? 129 00:06:13,072 --> 00:06:15,131 - Even Jo. - Who? 130 00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:17,874 I like to call Denise "Jo" because she reminds me 131 00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:21,209 of that street-wise, mannish girl on Facts of Life. 132 00:06:21,247 --> 00:06:24,774 You know, Katie's cutesy and blonde. You could call her Blair. 133 00:06:24,817 --> 00:06:26,045 Blair is stupid. 134 00:06:26,085 --> 00:06:27,677 Blair is perfect. 135 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,244 But now I can never use it in front of Turk, 136 00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:33,122 or he'll say, "You're welcome" in that really smug way of his. 137 00:06:33,159 --> 00:06:36,253 Okay, let's gather round for rounds, get it? 138 00:06:36,295 --> 00:06:38,229 "Round for rounds." You can use it. 139 00:06:38,264 --> 00:06:40,164 Our first patient is presenting with 140 00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,393 Biliary colic and... 141 00:06:43,436 --> 00:06:44,801 Ed, would you mind... 142 00:06:44,837 --> 00:06:47,362 Would you mind turning off the beeping if you're gonna text? 143 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,432 - I'll turn it off. - Thank you. 144 00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:53,468 Upper right abdominal pain. What's your diagnosis, Jo? 145 00:06:53,513 --> 00:06:55,003 - I know! - Course you do, Katie, 146 00:06:55,047 --> 00:06:57,413 because you know anything that anyone's ever asked you, ever. 147 00:06:57,450 --> 00:06:59,611 But I didn't ask you. I asked Jo. 148 00:06:59,652 --> 00:07:01,677 Well, the patient definitely looks like hell, so... 149 00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:03,848 Quick side note. When a patient's eyes are open, 150 00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:05,983 that usually means that they're awake. 151 00:07:06,025 --> 00:07:08,653 Sorry, Mrs. Gallagher. You look very beautiful today. 152 00:07:08,694 --> 00:07:11,527 - Doesn't she? - Yeah, your jaundice makes you glow. 153 00:07:11,564 --> 00:07:13,691 Yes. Yellow like the sun. 154 00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:17,132 - Ed, stop texting! - I'm not texting. 155 00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:19,400 I'm looking at photos of Sienna Miller's breasts. 156 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,463 There's a difference. 157 00:07:20,506 --> 00:07:23,737 Okay, well, do that more later, when we're together. 158 00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:24,936 Jo, you were saying? 159 00:07:24,977 --> 00:07:26,740 I'm guessing Mrs. Gallagher probably has... 160 00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:29,373 Cholecystitis! She has cholecystitis. 161 00:07:29,415 --> 00:07:32,646 - I'm gonna cut your throat. - Okay, that's enough, Jo. You too, Blair. 162 00:07:32,685 --> 00:07:34,915 - Welcome! - Damn it! 163 00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,115 If you want, you can call me Tootie. I don't think it's racist. 164 00:07:37,156 --> 00:07:42,059 Oh, fine. I'm Tootie and I know how to go on the web and bit torrent. 165 00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:45,387 You probably shouldn't be texting while you're leading rounds. 166 00:07:45,431 --> 00:07:48,127 - I'm... This is his phone. - It's not my phone. 167 00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:49,759 W. T.H.? 168 00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:52,566 Oh, fine, it's not your phone? Hey, want a phone, buddy? 169 00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:56,838 No. 170 00:07:56,876 --> 00:08:00,676 All right, listen, I want you to run some renal function tests on Mr. Hicks. 171 00:08:00,713 --> 00:08:03,739 Can you do that, or do you have more questions about my vagina? 172 00:08:03,783 --> 00:08:04,943 J.D.: Lie! 173 00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,042 No. 174 00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:09,017 Dr. Maddox, I just wanted to say 175 00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:12,024 how excited I am to be working with you. 176 00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:14,322 Katie is such a kiss-ass. 177 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,091 You mean mini-Elliot? 178 00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:19,793 What? That's what everybody's calling her. 179 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:22,995 It's probably just because we are both blonde 180 00:08:23,035 --> 00:08:24,935 and have perky boobs. 181 00:08:24,971 --> 00:08:28,498 Or, it's because she is incredibly whiny and self-involved, 182 00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:30,771 and you, Barboo, for the last year and a half or so 183 00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:35,179 have been the most self-involved and whiny person in the galaxy. 184 00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:37,310 What nobody understands about me... 185 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,341 Point proven. Thank you. 186 00:08:40,219 --> 00:08:42,551 - J.D.: Okay. - Suck-up's back. 187 00:08:42,588 --> 00:08:43,953 You're abrasive. 188 00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:45,150 That's enough, Blair. 189 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,216 - Welcome! - Damn it. 190 00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:48,992 Okay. Listen up, guys. 191 00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:51,656 I gotta go take care of Mr. Hicks, so I need you guys to watch the floor. 192 00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:54,928 Check every patient and switch out any lines that need changing. 193 00:08:54,967 --> 00:08:56,764 Monitor Mr. Lombardi's blood gas 194 00:08:56,802 --> 00:08:58,997 and intubate him if he starts getting acidotic. 195 00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:00,767 Work as a team. You'll be all over it. 196 00:09:00,806 --> 00:09:03,172 Let's have some hands in, okay? 197 00:09:03,309 --> 00:09:05,368 Somebody has some very soft hands. 198 00:09:05,411 --> 00:09:07,208 - I sleep in gloves. - Right on. 199 00:09:07,246 --> 00:09:09,043 Okay, nobody die! 200 00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:10,673 Nobody die! 201 00:09:11,684 --> 00:09:16,678 Dr. Kelso, now that you're retired, I can finally say this. 202 00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:18,155 You, sir... 203 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:23,089 - I can't do it. - You'll get there, Ted. 204 00:09:24,797 --> 00:09:26,458 What's with the balloon? 205 00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:28,296 It's been a sad day. 206 00:09:28,634 --> 00:09:33,196 Can you even believe Dr. Cox? Calling me whiny and self-involved. 207 00:09:33,673 --> 00:09:37,666 Elliot, you know how we're so close we can say anything to each other, right? 208 00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:39,473 - Yeah. - Look, 209 00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:44,179 over the last year or so, you've been going through a lot. 210 00:09:44,216 --> 00:09:45,877 You got engaged, 211 00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:49,046 you broke off your wedding at the last second. 212 00:09:50,556 --> 00:09:54,185 It'd be easy for anyone to become a little self-absorbed. 213 00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:56,591 What are you saying, Carla? 214 00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:59,097 This is why I come here every day. 215 00:09:59,398 --> 00:10:03,300 You come here every day? Loser. 216 00:10:04,670 --> 00:10:06,365 My balloon! 217 00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:11,735 Mr. Hicks' renal tests came back negative. 218 00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:12,903 Thank God. 219 00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:16,381 See, Bernie isn't just a patient, he's also my lover. 220 00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:19,278 Really? 221 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:23,115 No! He's fat, bald and ugly! Thanks a lot! 222 00:10:24,256 --> 00:10:26,986 Okay, just swallow your pain and fix this. 223 00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:30,792 Look, Dr. Maddox, I think you're a very well-built, 224 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:34,228 sturdy woman... 225 00:10:34,266 --> 00:10:36,757 - Like a shed. - No. Not like a shed. 226 00:10:37,069 --> 00:10:39,902 Like a naughty... 227 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:42,103 - Like it. - Structure. 228 00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:44,132 - Structure? - I should go. 229 00:10:49,281 --> 00:10:52,182 Stop confusing me by being nice and giving me phones. 230 00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:55,779 Fine. But why did you have to trip me? 231 00:10:55,821 --> 00:10:58,255 Let me answer that question with another question. 232 00:10:58,290 --> 00:11:00,087 'Cause I wanted to. 233 00:11:02,795 --> 00:11:04,558 - Excuse me. - Yeah? 234 00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:07,725 Do you think it would have been funny if he had broken his neck? 235 00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:10,859 I feel like you want me to say no. 236 00:11:10,903 --> 00:11:12,063 What's your name? 237 00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:14,572 Oh, boy. You really are new here. 238 00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:17,033 Uh-oh! 239 00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:19,010 - "The Janitor." - Howdy. 240 00:11:21,947 --> 00:11:25,144 Say, Beth? Your patient, Mr. Lombardi, is about to crash. 241 00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:26,276 How'd that happen? 242 00:11:26,318 --> 00:11:28,616 Well, sometimes when people get owies 243 00:11:28,654 --> 00:11:32,146 and they're left untreated, they become even bigger owies. 244 00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:34,716 Hey! You guys were supposed to tube him if he got acidotic. 245 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,024 - What the hell? - He's not my patient, man. 246 00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:38,121 I was over there. 247 00:11:39,231 --> 00:11:40,425 Now he's coding. 248 00:11:40,466 --> 00:11:41,865 Crash cart! 249 00:11:42,134 --> 00:11:44,102 J.D.: Sometimes just two words are enough 250 00:11:44,136 --> 00:11:46,604 to make your thoughts perfectly clear. 251 00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:49,900 So you actually agree with what Dr. Cox said about me? 252 00:11:49,942 --> 00:11:52,069 J.D.: Whether you're being brutally honest... 253 00:11:52,111 --> 00:11:53,237 I do. 254 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:55,980 ...or holding someone accountable... 255 00:11:56,015 --> 00:11:57,539 You're fired. 256 00:11:58,150 --> 00:11:59,845 What about my son? 257 00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:01,648 That's my daughter. 258 00:12:04,156 --> 00:12:08,092 I'm... I'm sorry. May I see it again? Please. 259 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:16,194 ...or apologizing for a major screw-up. 260 00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:18,999 - We're sorry. - Yeah, we'll get it together from now on. 261 00:12:19,038 --> 00:12:20,198 Promise. 262 00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:23,072 But for some reason, I didn't wanna hear it. 263 00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:25,771 You know what? I'm done with you guys. 264 00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:33,277 Hey, C-Bear. Every time I see Maddox, 265 00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:35,787 I get one step closer to ending my career. 266 00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:37,982 You'll be fine. Maddox seems cool. 267 00:12:38,023 --> 00:12:39,422 I don't know about that, 268 00:12:39,458 --> 00:12:42,689 I just can't shake the feeling that that woman is a complete tool. 269 00:12:42,728 --> 00:12:43,956 You've been saying that all day. 270 00:12:43,996 --> 00:12:46,988 Why don't you just go talk to her and figure it out once and for all? 271 00:12:47,032 --> 00:12:48,124 Nah. 272 00:12:48,634 --> 00:12:50,397 Hey, aren't you supposed to be at rounds? 273 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,460 They're driving me crazy. 274 00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:54,667 Someone needs to send those interns to an internment camp. 275 00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:57,505 Dude, internment camps are never funny. 276 00:12:57,843 --> 00:13:00,869 J.D.: I always forget that Turk is one-eighth Japanese. 277 00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:05,572 Hey, can you give Mr. Hicks a full cardiac workup? 278 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,051 - Of course. - And what would you say 279 00:13:07,086 --> 00:13:09,111 if I said he was my lover? 280 00:13:09,155 --> 00:13:12,647 I'd know that obviously you were joking because you are way out of his league. 281 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,126 Oh, there, there. That is... We're doing this. Okay. 282 00:13:17,163 --> 00:13:18,960 I like you the best. 283 00:13:19,498 --> 00:13:21,659 Thanks, Mom... Ma'am. Ma'am. 284 00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:23,395 She's not your mom. 285 00:13:23,435 --> 00:13:25,869 Well, she certainly doesn't think that I'm all about me. 286 00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:27,463 I was just being honest. 287 00:13:27,506 --> 00:13:31,203 I'd want you to do the same for me if I was doing things I might regret later. 288 00:13:31,243 --> 00:13:34,701 Name one thing that I've done lately that I'm gonna regret. 289 00:13:36,916 --> 00:13:40,443 Hey, Blondie! Show me your rack. 290 00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:41,578 No! 291 00:13:43,789 --> 00:13:46,781 Like that's gonna come back to haunt me. 292 00:13:51,063 --> 00:13:52,428 What else you got? 293 00:13:52,464 --> 00:13:55,558 Well, what about the way you're always mocking Keith about not marrying him? 294 00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:59,400 You probably don't even realize how devastated he still is. 295 00:14:00,639 --> 00:14:04,735 Oh, hey, ladies. Awesome day, huh? Awesome! 296 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:08,370 I hope he'll pull through. 297 00:14:11,450 --> 00:14:15,887 And now, on to our next patient. Let's go, bitches. 298 00:14:16,822 --> 00:14:18,881 Why is Doctor Squeaky-Pants leading rounds? 299 00:14:18,924 --> 00:14:20,050 Where the hell is Dorian? 300 00:14:21,927 --> 00:14:23,485 Keith is not still devastated. 301 00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,463 I mean, what the hell is Carla talking about? 302 00:14:25,497 --> 00:14:27,431 She's completely off-base, right? 303 00:14:27,466 --> 00:14:29,093 I have to disagree with you. 304 00:14:29,134 --> 00:14:30,533 You don't see my point at all? 305 00:14:30,569 --> 00:14:32,867 You don't understand. I'm married to Carla, right, 306 00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:36,864 and she has spies everywhere. So I have to disagree with you. 307 00:14:41,847 --> 00:14:43,872 I'm on to you, Rochelle. 308 00:14:45,651 --> 00:14:47,812 Dr. Reid, may I talk to you? 309 00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,221 - Ted, are you going to talk? - In a second. 310 00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:58,424 I'm just waiting for the anti-anxiety medication to kick in. 311 00:14:58,464 --> 00:15:00,398 And there it is. 312 00:15:01,433 --> 00:15:02,832 Hey, baby. 313 00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:06,136 Yeah, Ted, I'm actually in charge of keeping a lot of people alive, so... 314 00:15:06,171 --> 00:15:08,537 Carla's right, Keith's a mess. 315 00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:11,566 He hasn't been able to pull out of it since you ended things. 316 00:15:11,610 --> 00:15:13,339 He's sad all the time. 317 00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:14,937 Yeah, I don't see it. 318 00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:16,174 Of course you don't. 319 00:15:16,215 --> 00:15:18,342 No one ever wants the person who hurt them 320 00:15:18,384 --> 00:15:21,148 to ever see how badly they've been hurt. 321 00:15:28,794 --> 00:15:30,489 - Morning. - Morning. 322 00:15:30,796 --> 00:15:32,821 J.D.: It's amazing how the exact same question 323 00:15:32,865 --> 00:15:35,663 can have totally different connotations. 324 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,095 May I talk to you? 325 00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:39,000 May I talk to you? 326 00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:42,164 May I talk to you? 327 00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:47,069 I have to ask. When I fired you before, did you think I was kidding? 328 00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:48,306 No, I knew you were serious 329 00:15:48,347 --> 00:15:50,144 because I heard that you fired Jimmy the orderly. 330 00:15:50,182 --> 00:15:51,581 What did he do? 331 00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:55,515 Okay, this is where you keep all of the tension. 332 00:15:55,554 --> 00:15:59,183 Do you mind if I do a yogi chant? It relaxes the muscles. 333 00:16:04,496 --> 00:16:05,929 - Do you feel that? - Mmm-hmm. 334 00:16:06,498 --> 00:16:08,625 But that's just Jimmy being Jimmy! 335 00:16:08,667 --> 00:16:10,294 You know, the incident yesterday with Dr. Dorian, 336 00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:12,395 I swear to you that will never happen again, 337 00:16:12,438 --> 00:16:14,497 even though he deserved it. 338 00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:17,031 - I don't know... - Come on, I've been here forever. 339 00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:18,839 You can't just throw me out of the hospital. 340 00:16:18,877 --> 00:16:22,278 No, but I can walk you out without you even noticing. 341 00:16:25,117 --> 00:16:27,483 - Well played. - I need your keys. 342 00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:30,579 Where are the rest? 343 00:16:30,622 --> 00:16:33,352 I got tired of carrying them all, so I made one that works on everything. 344 00:16:33,392 --> 00:16:34,586 Watch. 345 00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:41,562 How about that? Come on, hit the highway. 346 00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:45,768 Thank you. 347 00:16:49,141 --> 00:16:50,199 No. 348 00:16:54,980 --> 00:16:56,208 Keith. 349 00:16:57,416 --> 00:16:59,316 I just realized that I never really took the time 350 00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:02,912 to apologize for the way things ended between us. 351 00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:09,459 I mean, I did say that I was so sorry right when it happened, remember? 352 00:17:09,495 --> 00:17:11,087 We were outside, I gave you the ring back, 353 00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:13,792 - you started crying and... - No, no. No need to recap, Elliot. 354 00:17:13,832 --> 00:17:15,060 Right. 355 00:17:15,934 --> 00:17:18,164 Look, I know this was my decision, 356 00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:23,732 so it was easier for me to move on and, well, you know, make jokes and stuff. 357 00:17:24,676 --> 00:17:26,473 I guess I've been so self-involved 358 00:17:26,512 --> 00:17:29,970 I never stopped to think that you still may be hurting. 359 00:17:30,682 --> 00:17:35,642 Anyway, I just wanted to really apologize, for everything. 360 00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:40,156 Thanks. That means a lot. 361 00:17:41,627 --> 00:17:42,924 - Hug? - No. 362 00:17:43,328 --> 00:17:44,454 Right. 363 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,930 Why would you pass off your interns? 364 00:17:47,966 --> 00:17:49,934 I just... I can't deal with them anymore. 365 00:17:49,968 --> 00:17:55,565 Really? Because I had an intern just a couple of years back that I hated. 366 00:17:55,607 --> 00:17:57,575 Honestly, he was so maddening 367 00:17:57,609 --> 00:18:01,340 that my therapist put me on a suicide-slash-homicide watch. 368 00:18:01,780 --> 00:18:03,577 Do I know this intern? 369 00:18:03,615 --> 00:18:05,879 - Intimately. - I figured. 370 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:07,681 This is a teaching hospital. 371 00:18:07,719 --> 00:18:09,482 - You have to teach. - I know. 372 00:18:09,521 --> 00:18:14,754 I'm just... I'm so tired of their attitude and I'm tired of their ignorance. 373 00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:19,821 It's the same thing, year after year. I'm just tired. 374 00:18:20,132 --> 00:18:21,724 Here comes the tongue-lashing. 375 00:18:23,368 --> 00:18:25,063 Well, I get that. 376 00:18:26,305 --> 00:18:28,865 Why do you think I've been avoiding the new Chief? 377 00:18:28,907 --> 00:18:33,241 Because if I do talk to her and she is indeed a jerk, then, 378 00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:35,269 once again, I'm gonna have to be that guy 379 00:18:35,314 --> 00:18:38,112 who gets in her face over every little injustice. 380 00:18:38,150 --> 00:18:41,677 But you wanna know something? I'm tired, too. 381 00:18:42,354 --> 00:18:44,015 So what do we do? 382 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,613 I don't know. 383 00:18:45,891 --> 00:18:48,826 J.D.: Oh, my God. He's treating you like an equal. 384 00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:51,159 Quick, do something equals do! 385 00:18:55,834 --> 00:18:56,858 Why would you do that? 386 00:18:56,902 --> 00:18:59,234 I don't know, I thought equals shared coffee. 387 00:18:59,271 --> 00:19:00,329 No. 388 00:19:00,939 --> 00:19:03,533 So, this intern that you mentioned earlier, 389 00:19:03,575 --> 00:19:07,978 I'm sure eventually he turned into a pretty amazing doctor, didn't he? 390 00:19:08,013 --> 00:19:09,708 Actually, it was a she. 391 00:19:09,748 --> 00:19:13,275 - It wasn't me? - Oh no, it was you. It was you. 392 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,212 We'll get there. 393 00:19:19,258 --> 00:19:21,522 Okay. You get nice and comfy. 394 00:19:23,762 --> 00:19:26,424 Dr. Reid gave me Mr. Hicks' test results, 395 00:19:26,465 --> 00:19:29,957 but they're locked in my briefcase and I lost the key. 396 00:19:30,068 --> 00:19:31,365 Allow me. 397 00:19:33,071 --> 00:19:36,302 - Loving this thing. - And here it is. 398 00:19:36,708 --> 00:19:41,111 Hey. How come all you have in here is a smiley face button and a revolver? 399 00:19:41,146 --> 00:19:43,876 Well, one's in case I get sad, 400 00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:48,046 and the other one's in case I get really sad. 401 00:19:48,086 --> 00:19:49,553 Well, see you tomorrow. 402 00:19:49,588 --> 00:19:50,953 We'll see. 403 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,260 Mr. Hicks' cardiac test results. 404 00:19:57,930 --> 00:20:00,262 They're negative. What do you know about that? 405 00:20:00,299 --> 00:20:02,767 Just like the 100 other tests we ordered 406 00:20:02,801 --> 00:20:06,259 for a man whose only complaint was shortness of breath. 407 00:20:06,305 --> 00:20:08,773 I assume there's a nugget of a point buried in there. 408 00:20:08,807 --> 00:20:10,707 Why are you running that guy through the ringer? 409 00:20:10,742 --> 00:20:12,607 Because he's got awesome insurance. 410 00:20:12,644 --> 00:20:15,374 He's 100% pure profit machine. 411 00:20:15,414 --> 00:20:18,144 Ka, and might I add, ching! 412 00:20:18,817 --> 00:20:20,307 I mean, I may even order an MRI 413 00:20:20,352 --> 00:20:23,344 just to see if he's actually stuffed with money. 414 00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:26,687 In fact, I think I'm ordering one. And since you cried about it, 415 00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:30,491 why don't you take him to radiology like a good little boy? 416 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:35,098 J.D.: Sometimes it really sucks to do the right thing. 417 00:20:40,772 --> 00:20:44,936 You were right about me. And thanks. 418 00:20:46,478 --> 00:20:48,275 Don't mention it. 419 00:20:48,313 --> 00:20:50,304 - Love you. - Love you, too. 420 00:20:51,149 --> 00:20:53,049 J.D.: Trying to teach a bunch of jerks... 421 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:55,019 Okay, when dealing with peripheral neuropathy, 422 00:20:56,121 --> 00:20:58,988 Always think diabetes first. 423 00:21:00,459 --> 00:21:02,984 ...or once again, facing off with a jerk. 424 00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:05,189 Look, you can't just bleed a guy's insurance dry 425 00:21:05,230 --> 00:21:07,198 just because you want to pay for a new X-ray machine. 426 00:21:07,232 --> 00:21:11,225 Will you shut up if I give you a key that opens everything? 427 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:14,569 The more things change the more they stay the same, huh? 428 00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:18,235 Hi, folks! If you need anything cleaned up, just give me a shout, okay? 429 00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:19,403 Sure. 430 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:21,906 - Who the hell's that? - I don't know. 431 00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:23,346 I like him. 432 00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:32,151 Interns. All right. You guys psyched? It's our eighth year. Who's with me? 433 00:21:33,859 --> 00:21:36,327 Come on. I know it's tempting to just mail it in, 434 00:21:36,361 --> 00:21:39,728 but there's still a lot of people who rely on us week to week. 435 00:21:39,765 --> 00:21:42,063 I think we owe it to them to be as inspired as we were 436 00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:43,260 in our first few years. 437 00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:46,237 Now, I know we never do great come medical awards season, 438 00:21:46,271 --> 00:21:48,831 except for Dr. Shalhoub, he wins everything. 439 00:21:48,874 --> 00:21:51,809 But I still think we're as good as anybody else out there. 440 00:21:51,843 --> 00:21:54,471 The Nielsens certainly beg to differ. 441 00:21:56,014 --> 00:21:59,313 They're just upset because their insurance won't cover a private room.