1 00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:03,764 J.D.: Life's great. 2 00:00:03,803 --> 00:00:07,295 With the Janitor fired, I can walk the halls without fear. 3 00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:09,501 I don't even hesitate around corners anymore. 4 00:00:11,478 --> 00:00:12,945 But maybe I should. 5 00:00:12,979 --> 00:00:15,379 L-can-feel-little-J.D. Five? 6 00:00:15,415 --> 00:00:18,543 - No thanks, Todd. - But I can and I want my five. 7 00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:23,246 Plus, Elliot and I were better friends than we'd been in a long time. 8 00:00:23,289 --> 00:00:24,449 We were going to movies. 9 00:00:24,491 --> 00:00:25,856 I really liked that. 10 00:00:25,892 --> 00:00:27,621 Oprah produced it. 11 00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:29,692 We were going out to dinner. 12 00:00:29,729 --> 00:00:31,219 My salmon was great. 13 00:00:31,264 --> 00:00:33,289 You know, Oprah owns that restaurant. 14 00:00:33,933 --> 00:00:37,300 And on weekends when I had Sam, she even came over for breakfast. 15 00:00:37,670 --> 00:00:42,004 I could make pancakes, or we can have Oprah O's. 16 00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,305 And check this out. 17 00:00:44,744 --> 00:00:47,008 Who wants to eat some cereal? 18 00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:49,977 - That's funny. - J.D.: That's it? 19 00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:51,344 Not only did I rig this box, 20 00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:54,410 but I got Whitney in Payroll to tape her Oprah voice. 21 00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:56,786 I've been working on this joke for over a week, 22 00:00:56,823 --> 00:00:59,724 and all you can muster is a little chuckle? 23 00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:02,657 - Who wants to eat some cereal? - Stop. 24 00:01:02,829 --> 00:01:05,423 - Who wants to eat some cereal? - It's broken. 25 00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:07,990 - Who wants to eat some cereal? - Stop it! 26 00:01:08,034 --> 00:01:10,935 - Who wants to eat some cereal? - Stop, stupid box! 27 00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:18,973 Okay, so I'm gonna add a little pressure now, sir. 28 00:01:20,447 --> 00:01:23,109 That's all right. It's perfectly natural. 29 00:01:23,149 --> 00:01:24,207 That was you. 30 00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:27,344 Yeah, I know. But it's still perfectly natural. 31 00:01:27,954 --> 00:01:28,978 Lovely. 32 00:01:30,356 --> 00:01:31,448 It's your own fault. 33 00:01:31,491 --> 00:01:33,789 You're the only attending who sticks around for an entire exam 34 00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:35,658 when he calls for a surgical consult. 35 00:01:35,695 --> 00:01:37,253 - Why is that? - No reason. 36 00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:39,891 Oh, so you don't want to say? That's cool. 37 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,764 I know you hate that I call Carla "baby" all the time, 38 00:01:41,801 --> 00:01:43,860 so I'll just call you "baby" until you tell me. 39 00:01:43,903 --> 00:01:45,336 - Does that sound good, baby? - Don't do that. 40 00:01:45,371 --> 00:01:46,395 Oh, what's the matter, baby? 41 00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,907 Look, surgeons always want to slice people open, 42 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,569 whether it's the best option or not. 43 00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:52,771 No disrespect, but you're just not that bright. 44 00:01:52,812 --> 00:01:55,246 You have no idea how to do anything else. 45 00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:58,478 Unfortunately, sick people are also very, very stupid, 46 00:01:58,518 --> 00:02:00,452 and will almost always agree to anything 47 00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:01,886 that a bloodletting corpse carpenter, 48 00:02:01,921 --> 00:02:03,445 such as yourself, tells them. 49 00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:06,823 I simply stay in the room to make sure they make the right choice. 50 00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:08,157 So you don't trust me? 51 00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:11,186 Oh, that's right. That is an easier way to say it. 52 00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:13,529 Baby! Baby! 53 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,530 There he is. Right on schedule. 54 00:02:16,569 --> 00:02:18,400 J.D.: Maybe it was the free muffins for life, 55 00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:21,407 but Dr. Kelso still hangs out here every day. 56 00:02:21,508 --> 00:02:22,736 Morning, everybody. 57 00:02:22,775 --> 00:02:24,140 - Morning, Bob. - Morning, Bob. 58 00:02:24,177 --> 00:02:25,940 I'm like Norm in this bitch. 59 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,379 Ted finally said what we were all thinking. 60 00:02:28,414 --> 00:02:30,678 Why are you spending your retirement 61 00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:33,982 hanging around the place you used to work? 62 00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:36,079 It's so sad. 63 00:02:36,122 --> 00:02:39,785 By comparison, it almost makes my life seem... 64 00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:44,029 No, still sad. 65 00:02:44,063 --> 00:02:45,155 Yeah. 66 00:02:45,198 --> 00:02:48,326 Seriously, don't you have anything better to do? 67 00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:57,109 Come on, people. I've got tons of stuff going on. 68 00:02:57,143 --> 00:02:59,407 I golf, I play gin with the boys. 69 00:02:59,445 --> 00:03:03,541 In fact, I am just here to stock up on muffins. 70 00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:05,778 Donny, four roadies, please. 71 00:03:07,787 --> 00:03:12,918 Today, Enid and I are leaving to go spend a week in the wine country. 72 00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:15,757 Of course, you know how Enid complains. 73 00:03:15,795 --> 00:03:17,820 Anyplace I take her is whine country. 74 00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:22,299 Thank you, thank you. Thank you. 75 00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:25,270 Anyway, keep my table warm. Adiós. 76 00:03:27,607 --> 00:03:28,665 What are you doing? 77 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:31,404 Oh, that's the sound I hear in my head whenever people leave. 78 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,773 Whatever. I will see you after work. 79 00:03:42,121 --> 00:03:44,351 You should really hesitate before going around corners. 80 00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:46,255 I was thinking that earlier. 81 00:03:46,292 --> 00:03:49,523 Hey, since that chief-doctor person that fired me is gone, I'm back. 82 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,894 - Yay. - I knew you'd react that way. 83 00:03:54,934 --> 00:03:58,028 And since Jimmy, the overly-touchy orderly, got his job back, too, 84 00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,505 I took the liberty of telling him how much you missed him. 85 00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:04,670 - Hey! I missed you, too. What's new? - Oh, nothing, man. Good... 86 00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:05,973 - You seem a little clenched. - Well... 87 00:04:06,012 --> 00:04:08,207 Uh-oh. Found a treasure trove. 88 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,408 Where's the gold? 89 00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:12,646 - Take my little pickax and get to it! - Okay, no, no, no, no, no. 90 00:04:12,685 --> 00:04:14,550 - Giggle worm! - Okay. Okay. 91 00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,179 - Squiggle worm! - I'll get my own gold. Thank you. 92 00:04:16,222 --> 00:04:17,814 Okay. Welcome back. 93 00:04:17,857 --> 00:04:18,949 Why? 94 00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:23,862 I can't do this all on my own 95 00:04:23,896 --> 00:04:25,420 No, I know 96 00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:27,194 I'm no Superman 97 00:04:30,703 --> 00:04:32,364 I'm no Superman 98 00:04:35,141 --> 00:04:38,167 - See you later, buddy. - Hey, have a good one, guys. 99 00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:41,510 No, wait. Something's wrong. What is it? 100 00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:45,278 It's Dr. Cox. He's all up in my business. And... 101 00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:48,910 Dr. Cox! 102 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,718 Hang in there, Bear. 103 00:04:51,324 --> 00:04:52,723 How did you know that he was hurting? 104 00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:54,556 Did you, like, hear it in his voice? 105 00:04:54,594 --> 00:04:58,963 With Turk, I can always feel it from his soul, like a wave of heat. 106 00:04:58,998 --> 00:05:00,898 Are you gonna make a joke about how gay that sounds? 107 00:05:00,933 --> 00:05:02,457 Definitely. I just don't have the words yet. 108 00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:04,629 Well, let me know. 109 00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:09,835 Hello, folks. I'm Dr. Christopher Turk. 110 00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:13,209 You're right so far. Continue. 111 00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:15,942 Mr. Halford, Dr. Cox tells me that you're in need of a new kidney, 112 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:18,177 and I understand your wife wants to be the donor. 113 00:05:18,217 --> 00:05:21,880 So what do you say we run some tests and see if she's a match, okay? 114 00:05:21,921 --> 00:05:25,254 Dr. Cox said you're the best surgeon here, so I'm fine. 115 00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:27,851 - Right on. See you guys later. - Okay. 116 00:05:28,961 --> 00:05:31,293 Now, I don't understand. If I'm the best surgeon here, 117 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,889 how come you're always looking over my shoulder? 118 00:05:32,932 --> 00:05:34,832 Oh, give me a break, would you? 119 00:05:34,867 --> 00:05:36,801 Saying someone is "the best surgeon" 120 00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:40,499 is like saying someone is the smartest cast member of The Hills. 121 00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:44,874 Let's face it. It's just not that tough to float to the top of the surgical toilet. 122 00:05:45,578 --> 00:05:47,705 Take your fellow cutter, The Todd. 123 00:05:47,747 --> 00:05:51,808 Now, he is also deemed competent enough to perform a kidney transplant 124 00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,318 on that gentleman right there. 125 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,583 Yet observe. 126 00:05:55,755 --> 00:05:59,953 - Say Todd, what's for lunch today? - Not sure, bro. 127 00:05:59,992 --> 00:06:03,689 This time I'll just move my lips as if I'm speaking, 128 00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:06,358 and his tiny surgeon brain will tell him 129 00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:09,232 the glass is now just too darn thick to hear through. 130 00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:16,470 Can't hear you through the glass, dude. 131 00:06:19,078 --> 00:06:20,807 - Wow. - Wow, what? 132 00:06:29,255 --> 00:06:32,088 It's true! You're back! 133 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:35,458 - I'm so happy. - You don't look happy. 134 00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:39,591 It's... I don't smile a whole lot, and lately, when I try to, it hurts. 135 00:06:39,632 --> 00:06:43,500 - But trust me, I'm happy. - Return of the king, huh? 136 00:06:43,536 --> 00:06:48,371 Yeah. I can't tell you how much I've missed having you around... 137 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,808 Jimmy, I'm really not comfortable with that. 138 00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:52,276 Jimmy, downstairs. 139 00:06:52,311 --> 00:06:54,643 No problem. See you guys later. 140 00:06:56,382 --> 00:06:58,475 I'm gonna have to teach you his command words. 141 00:06:58,518 --> 00:06:59,610 Awesome. 142 00:06:59,652 --> 00:07:00,676 Ow! 143 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:06,149 I'm starving. There's a Coffee Bucks up there, let's grab something. 144 00:07:06,192 --> 00:07:08,353 I've got it. The only way that moment you had with Turk 145 00:07:08,394 --> 00:07:10,385 could have been any gayer would be if you two went home 146 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,625 and actually made love afterwards. 147 00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:17,360 J.D.: No, Elliot. Stop! 148 00:07:17,403 --> 00:07:19,166 You know I automatically picture 149 00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:21,639 any visual image someone puts in my head. 150 00:07:21,674 --> 00:07:24,165 You can't do that. It's embarrassing. 151 00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:27,242 J.D.: But not as embarrassing as this. 152 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,738 Dr. Kelso? Aren't you supposed to be on vacation? 153 00:07:31,017 --> 00:07:32,279 Crap. 154 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:37,412 Thanks for tagging in for me, Teddy. I really need to ease myself back in. 155 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:40,449 Mopping is not like riding a bike. That's for sure. 156 00:07:40,493 --> 00:07:45,590 No problem. Hey, Dr. Turk, did you see who's back? 157 00:07:46,232 --> 00:07:48,097 - Hey. - I know, right? 158 00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:51,864 - Oh, that sucks. - What? 159 00:07:51,904 --> 00:07:53,633 It's my kidney transplant patient. His wife's not... 160 00:07:53,673 --> 00:07:57,370 I apologize. I said "what," but I meant "move it along." 161 00:08:00,780 --> 00:08:05,046 By the way, what happened to the janitor they hired to replace you? 162 00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:11,453 We're going to have to let you go, Marv. But, stiff upper lip. 163 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:14,892 - I'm sorry, Dr. Itor. - Call me Jan. 164 00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:18,425 - I heard he quit. - Huh. 165 00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:22,258 Mopping's hard. 166 00:08:22,301 --> 00:08:25,498 You're working against yourself there. Go faster. 167 00:08:27,907 --> 00:08:30,398 I bet you can't wait to call all your friends 168 00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:32,843 and tell them how pathetic I am. 169 00:08:32,879 --> 00:08:36,144 Actually, sir, we young people are more into texting these days. 170 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,342 J.D., be sensitive. 171 00:08:37,383 --> 00:08:40,875 Don't act like you're at a ping-pong match between a ninja and Bigfoot. 172 00:08:40,953 --> 00:08:43,922 I know that made no sense, but he's totally there now in his head. 173 00:08:43,956 --> 00:08:45,446 Look at his eyes. 174 00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:52,758 - Look at that. - He should be out for a while. 175 00:08:52,798 --> 00:08:56,131 I just have a lot more free time than I thought. 176 00:08:56,669 --> 00:08:59,536 Enid and I were going to travel all over the country, 177 00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:02,200 but we don't have the cash right now. 178 00:09:03,910 --> 00:09:05,571 Elliot, stop doing that! 179 00:09:05,611 --> 00:09:08,705 - Well, who won the ping-pong game? - The Sasquatch. 180 00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:11,444 Then Turk and I took him to a carnival to celebrate. 181 00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:13,782 Man, that hairy bastard loves funnel cake. 182 00:09:13,819 --> 00:09:15,548 Amazing. 183 00:09:15,588 --> 00:09:18,580 J.D.: Now it's time to split before he shares something so personal 184 00:09:18,624 --> 00:09:20,353 that we're trapped here forever. 185 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,951 We should probably get going... 186 00:09:21,994 --> 00:09:24,519 The last thing I expected was to be an old man 187 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:27,658 with no idea what the hell to do with his life. 188 00:09:30,369 --> 00:09:33,167 Tom, I'm sorry, but Darcy was not a kidney match, 189 00:09:33,205 --> 00:09:35,105 so we need to get you on the transplant list right away 190 00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:37,666 - so we can find a new donor. - Wrong. 191 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,274 - You didn't even hear what I told him. - What did you tell him? 192 00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:43,578 - Well, I basically I told him... - Wrong! 193 00:09:43,616 --> 00:09:47,643 Great news, folks. I had occasion to speak with Dr. Quinlan here. 194 00:09:51,223 --> 00:09:55,557 Anyway, do you see his kidney patient, Mr. Brinkley? 195 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:59,793 It turns out that his wife is not a donor match for him, either. 196 00:09:59,832 --> 00:10:01,424 And in the coincidence of the day, 197 00:10:01,467 --> 00:10:06,063 she is a match for you, sir, and you, Mrs. Halford, are a match for him. 198 00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:09,973 We do the old switcheroo, and everybody wins. 199 00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:12,239 So when would I get my new kidney? 200 00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:15,145 Mr. Brinkley has been on dialysis for quite some time, 201 00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:17,479 so Darcy, we're going to have to get him your kidney 202 00:10:17,516 --> 00:10:18,540 just as soon as possible. 203 00:10:18,584 --> 00:10:21,883 And Tom, we'll schedule your surgery for next week. 204 00:10:23,889 --> 00:10:26,949 Look, Dr. Kelso, leaving any job is tough. 205 00:10:26,993 --> 00:10:29,291 I remember when my cousin got fired from her job. 206 00:10:29,328 --> 00:10:31,626 She was so depressed, because it was the only salon in town 207 00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:34,155 and all she ever wanted to do was cut hair. 208 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,258 Here it comes. 209 00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:39,237 J.D.: Both Dr. Kelso and I had heard enough of Elliot's inspirational stories 210 00:10:39,271 --> 00:10:42,263 to know that they invariably end with someone killing themselves. 211 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,639 But then she moved... 212 00:10:43,676 --> 00:10:45,041 Huh, maybe not. 213 00:10:45,077 --> 00:10:46,635 ...to a better place. 214 00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:48,146 Or maybe so. 215 00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:50,841 J.D.: Look, give yourself a little time. 216 00:10:50,883 --> 00:10:54,341 You'll figure out how to be happy. I promise. 217 00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:57,049 I'm never ready for half the stuff that people say. 218 00:10:57,089 --> 00:10:59,148 Whether it's an answer you didn't expect... 219 00:10:59,191 --> 00:11:01,182 So how'd you get hired back? 220 00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:04,355 I didn't. Technically, I don't work here. 221 00:11:06,632 --> 00:11:08,429 ...a shocker from a patient... 222 00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:10,193 We've been talking, 223 00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:13,171 and we don't want to trade kidneys with the Brinkleys. 224 00:11:13,205 --> 00:11:15,571 We'll go on the transplant list. 225 00:11:17,109 --> 00:11:18,508 ...or this. 226 00:11:18,544 --> 00:11:22,480 Thanks. I really appreciate you two trying to cheer me up. 227 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:25,814 Actually, that's wasn't unexpected, but this was... 228 00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:28,820 Well, it's nice to see you two dating again. 229 00:11:34,794 --> 00:11:36,694 J.D.: It was time to demand an explanation. 230 00:11:36,729 --> 00:11:38,856 Why would you think we're dating? 231 00:11:38,898 --> 00:11:41,059 Why won't they do the kidney switch? 232 00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:45,300 If you weren't hired back, why are you here working? 233 00:11:45,337 --> 00:11:46,998 I'm not. You are. 234 00:11:50,743 --> 00:11:52,438 J.D. And I are just friends, Dr. Kelso. 235 00:11:52,478 --> 00:11:54,412 I mean, we just like hanging out together. 236 00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:56,677 We rent movies, go on hikes. 237 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,741 On Sunday nights, we do our laundry together. 238 00:11:58,784 --> 00:12:00,581 Did you know that Elliot's granny panties 239 00:12:00,619 --> 00:12:02,519 are actually her granny's panties? 240 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:05,547 It's just one pair, J.D. Excuse me for being sentimental. 241 00:12:05,591 --> 00:12:10,324 So, basically, you two do everything a normal couple does except have sex? 242 00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:12,161 Exactly. 243 00:12:12,198 --> 00:12:13,756 Sounds awesome. 244 00:12:13,799 --> 00:12:16,495 Pardon me. I've had nine coffees in two hours. 245 00:12:16,535 --> 00:12:18,059 Time to drain. 246 00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:22,601 This is a new shirt. 247 00:12:22,641 --> 00:12:24,939 Hey, do you ever still think of me in that way? 248 00:12:24,977 --> 00:12:26,274 What way? 249 00:12:26,712 --> 00:12:29,943 You know, in a sexual way. 250 00:12:37,289 --> 00:12:40,781 Sometimes. Do you ever think of me that way? 251 00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:48,029 Sometimes. Put your shirt back on. 252 00:12:48,067 --> 00:12:50,399 I'm just flipping it so you can't see the stain. 253 00:12:51,871 --> 00:12:53,930 J.D.: And then I finally said it. 254 00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:58,000 Do you think maybe we should talk about us? 255 00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:00,502 Maybe we should. 256 00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:04,312 And just like that, it was as if we were off in our own little world. 257 00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:09,815 My guy needs a kidney now. Why wouldn't the Halfords say "yes"? 258 00:13:09,855 --> 00:13:11,220 Because they're in no rush. 259 00:13:11,257 --> 00:13:13,282 Plus, the Halfords don't know the Brinkleys, 260 00:13:13,325 --> 00:13:14,622 so they don't trust them. 261 00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:16,025 We're screwed. 262 00:13:16,061 --> 00:13:17,323 Awesome. 263 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:21,597 In The Todd's world, if anybody gets screwed, it's a good thing. 264 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:22,999 Of course it is. 265 00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:27,501 Look, I'm here because I want to be here. 266 00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,201 But don't worry, I'm gonna get my job back. 267 00:13:29,241 --> 00:13:31,732 Oh, good. What's your plan? 268 00:13:31,777 --> 00:13:35,474 I just told it to you. I'm here, therefore I will get my job back. 269 00:13:35,514 --> 00:13:38,677 - You're making my head hurt. - Now, we both know that's not me. 270 00:13:38,717 --> 00:13:41,277 That's from when you were a baby and a marble fountain fell on you. 271 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,187 Sometimes my mom kept my crib in the driveway. 272 00:13:44,223 --> 00:13:48,557 Mine, too. But I've lived my life by a very specific credo. 273 00:13:48,594 --> 00:13:50,425 "Everything works out for me." 274 00:13:50,462 --> 00:13:54,990 There is no way this works out for us. The Halfords are stubborn people. 275 00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:56,331 I've got an idea. 276 00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:01,132 If the Halfords don't trust the Brinkleys to come through for them, 277 00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:03,073 we can just do the surgery simultaneously 278 00:14:03,108 --> 00:14:05,440 and take trust out as an issue. 279 00:14:05,878 --> 00:14:07,869 That guy is such a jerk. 280 00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:10,245 Don't worry, he can't hear me through the glass. 281 00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:16,211 Do you want me to go first? 282 00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:20,917 Elliot, I've never been able to get over the idea of us. 283 00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:23,961 I'm still crazy about you. 284 00:14:23,996 --> 00:14:25,964 I don't really know what you want me to say. 285 00:14:25,998 --> 00:14:28,626 Maybe you could tell me if you feel the same way. 286 00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:29,725 Yeah. 287 00:14:29,768 --> 00:14:32,566 Maybe you could say it without sounding angry. 288 00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:34,072 But J.D., you crushed me. 289 00:14:34,106 --> 00:14:36,438 I mean, I gave you my love and you threw it back in my face, 290 00:14:36,475 --> 00:14:39,069 and pretty much scarred me romantically. 291 00:14:39,111 --> 00:14:42,012 I mean, now I'm doomed to a life of gravitating to safe, boring guys 292 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:43,207 who I don't really love, 293 00:14:43,249 --> 00:14:46,776 and I'm repelled by the ones I care for deeply. 294 00:14:46,852 --> 00:14:50,344 - So thank you for that. - Look, if it helps, you hurt me, too. 295 00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:51,413 Really? 296 00:14:51,457 --> 00:14:53,891 There were so many times I wanted to be with you so badly, 297 00:14:53,926 --> 00:14:55,860 and you shot me down. 298 00:14:55,895 --> 00:15:00,264 Like when we first met, or when you wanted to be sex buddies. 299 00:15:02,935 --> 00:15:04,300 Oh, yeah. 300 00:15:04,336 --> 00:15:06,964 But that's when I found work so overwhelming, and I didn't want you... 301 00:15:07,006 --> 00:15:09,304 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 302 00:15:09,341 --> 00:15:13,869 I'm sorry. We've just been down this road so many times, you know? 303 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,847 I mean, seriously, doesn't even talking about it 304 00:15:15,881 --> 00:15:18,372 just make you hate yourself a little bit? 305 00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:20,851 I can't tell if I'm just doing the normal amount of hating myself, 306 00:15:20,886 --> 00:15:24,413 or if I'm at a slightly higher level of self-Ioathing. 307 00:15:24,456 --> 00:15:26,822 - You're too hard on yourself. - No, I'm not. 308 00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:28,349 I'm just stupid and ugly and I have a pig face. 309 00:15:29,795 --> 00:15:33,060 Do you think we're just back here again because we're both Ionely 310 00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:36,033 and neither one of us has had any physical contact for months? 311 00:15:36,068 --> 00:15:38,866 - I've had physical contact. - With who? 312 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,806 All the energy's in you. I'm just opening the channels. 313 00:15:44,076 --> 00:15:46,340 There it is. There it is. 314 00:15:47,146 --> 00:15:48,613 I'd rather not talk about it. 315 00:15:49,648 --> 00:15:51,809 Looks like everybody got through with flying colors. 316 00:15:51,850 --> 00:15:53,681 Well, congratulations there, Gandhi. 317 00:15:53,719 --> 00:15:56,483 Your ability to bring people together is very powerful. 318 00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:58,888 Much like... Gandhi. 319 00:15:59,491 --> 00:16:01,049 That means a lot to me. 320 00:16:01,093 --> 00:16:04,221 Because I'm just so desperate for your approval. 321 00:16:06,665 --> 00:16:09,190 What the... What's his problem? 322 00:16:09,234 --> 00:16:10,258 Is he still mad at me? 323 00:16:12,438 --> 00:16:14,770 Maybe. I can't be sure. 324 00:16:15,407 --> 00:16:18,706 You know, the Brinkleys never gave the Halfords a reason to be skeptical. 325 00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:22,840 Life would be so much easier if everybody just trusted each other. 326 00:16:28,754 --> 00:16:31,917 We have so much history, most of it bad. 327 00:16:31,957 --> 00:16:33,083 Yeah. 328 00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:35,992 - How can we ever get past that? - We can't. 329 00:16:36,028 --> 00:16:38,326 Oh, good. That makes me feel better. 330 00:16:38,364 --> 00:16:41,822 But maybe we can remember all our pitfalls like a roadmap. 331 00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:44,358 Maybe this time we can avoid all the drama. 332 00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:45,563 We don't have to be that couple 333 00:16:45,604 --> 00:16:48,164 where one of us says they're moving out of town, 334 00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:50,698 the other one has to rush to the airport to stop them. 335 00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:54,235 We don't have to argue about whether or not we were "on a break." 336 00:16:54,279 --> 00:16:56,577 You watched that Friends marathon last night, didn't you? 337 00:16:56,615 --> 00:16:58,606 I did. I loved it. 338 00:16:58,650 --> 00:17:02,677 The point is, Elliot, you're a lot stronger than you used to be. 339 00:17:03,088 --> 00:17:07,616 I mean, I've changed, too. I have a beard now. 340 00:17:07,993 --> 00:17:10,257 Do you still let that inner voice of yours control you? 341 00:17:10,295 --> 00:17:14,061 J.D.: This is getting too serious. Kick her! Kick her in the head! 342 00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:15,964 - Not as much. - Hmm. 343 00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:18,665 Paycheck time, everyone. 344 00:17:19,671 --> 00:17:22,367 Come on, Whitney. I like it when you do it like Oprah. 345 00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:23,534 Fine. 346 00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:26,069 Who wants to get a paycheck? 347 00:17:26,111 --> 00:17:30,207 You get a paycheck! You get a paycheck! You get a paycheck! 348 00:17:30,249 --> 00:17:32,114 You gotta go, man. 349 00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:34,449 Everyone's gonna see when she doesn't have a check for you. 350 00:17:34,486 --> 00:17:36,010 It'll be humiliating. 351 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:40,515 Look, you can't just say things are going to work out and then they do. 352 00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:42,356 That's not how the world... 353 00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:46,296 - Excuse me? I didn't get mine. - Who are you? 354 00:17:46,331 --> 00:17:50,392 I'm the Janitor. See? Actually, I'm the old janitor. 355 00:17:50,436 --> 00:17:54,338 I replaced the janitor that replaced me. So... I'm still in the system. 356 00:17:54,373 --> 00:17:56,637 I'll go get you a check. 357 00:17:56,675 --> 00:17:58,575 Didn't mean to cut you off, Ted. You were saying? 358 00:18:00,846 --> 00:18:04,680 Oh. Yeah, there you go. Mop it off. Mop it off. 359 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,611 Mrs. Winter, this is Dr. Turk. 360 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,351 He's going to give you an exam 361 00:18:11,390 --> 00:18:14,359 and explain all your surgical options to you. 362 00:18:15,227 --> 00:18:18,025 One second. Hey. You're leaving? 363 00:18:18,063 --> 00:18:19,325 Please don't make me have second thoughts 364 00:18:19,364 --> 00:18:21,525 by asking very stupid questions. 365 00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:25,833 - So, what, you trust surgeons now? - No. I trust you. 366 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:33,670 I know we're talking, but it still feels like we're being so careful, you know? 367 00:18:33,712 --> 00:18:35,407 We're just scared. 368 00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:39,876 I made so many mistakes in my life because I was scared. 369 00:18:40,552 --> 00:18:43,612 It's the reason I bailed when you said "I love you," it's the reason... 370 00:18:43,655 --> 00:18:46,089 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 371 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,251 Okay. 372 00:18:49,194 --> 00:18:51,287 But I am scared of ending our friendship. 373 00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:52,888 What if I get hurt again? 374 00:18:52,931 --> 00:18:54,694 And what if you've picked up a new STD? 375 00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:57,759 For the last time, that was not an STD. It was a urinary tract infection, 376 00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:00,465 and I got it from having sex with you in a pond. 377 00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:02,531 J.D.: Yeah, you did. 378 00:19:02,574 --> 00:19:04,667 I'll tell you what else I don't want to deal with. 379 00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:06,940 - All the judgment from everyone else. - Oh. 380 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:09,777 Dr. Cox, Jordan, even Turk and Carla. 381 00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:13,216 I mean, it's almost enough of a reason not to do anything. 382 00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:14,514 Hogwash! 383 00:19:14,953 --> 00:19:16,477 Excuse me? 384 00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:19,150 That ridiculous drivel you just said. 385 00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:22,418 Oh, but who am I to talk? 386 00:19:23,462 --> 00:19:28,263 Here I am eating some kind of a banana-nut-sawdust muffin 387 00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:31,861 and hiding out in this crappy excuse for a Coffee Bucks. 388 00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:36,440 Who the hell cares what anybody else thinks? 389 00:19:40,078 --> 00:19:44,242 Just look into your heart and do whatever the hell makes you happy. 390 00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:55,983 That's right, Ted, I'm back. I love it here. 391 00:19:56,028 --> 00:20:00,226 Donny! Moist! 392 00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:03,699 J.D.: Elliot and I were tempted to take Dr. Kelso's advice, 393 00:20:03,735 --> 00:20:05,669 because often when you do what makes you happy, 394 00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:08,138 things have a way of working out. 395 00:20:08,273 --> 00:20:10,798 Actually, I normally get paid twice this. 396 00:20:10,842 --> 00:20:14,243 Hmm. My mistake. I'll be right back. 397 00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:17,373 J.D.: But it also occurred to us that you can have the best intentions 398 00:20:19,351 --> 00:20:21,911 and still fall back into old habits. 399 00:20:22,487 --> 00:20:24,512 Shh. Get out of here. 400 00:20:28,827 --> 00:20:32,593 J.D.: So I guess the real answer is that there is no easy answer. 401 00:20:32,631 --> 00:20:35,327 You just have to go for it or not. 402 00:20:39,671 --> 00:20:43,869 - This seems like a good idea. - Who cares? 403 00:20:59,625 --> 00:21:01,593 I'm just gonna need to engage my legs. 404 00:21:01,627 --> 00:21:03,026 - Okay. - All right. 405 00:21:03,061 --> 00:21:05,928 - Oh! - This is just to brace you. Right? Right? 406 00:21:05,964 --> 00:21:07,056 You're a wizard. 407 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,192 We just gotta work this out. 408 00:21:09,234 --> 00:21:10,360 Let it flow out. 409 00:21:11,570 --> 00:21:13,197 Let it flow out. 410 00:21:13,238 --> 00:21:14,364 And cut! 411 00:21:14,406 --> 00:21:17,773 - You like that, don't you? - Yeah, I... God help me, Jimmy. I do. 412 00:21:20,679 --> 00:21:22,146 There it is. Let it go. 413 00:21:22,180 --> 00:21:24,341 - Deeper, please. - Yes, sir. Yes, sir.