1
00:00:02,136 --> 00:00:04,444
Hello. If it's all right
with everyone,
2
00:00:04,478 --> 00:00:07,456
I'd like to begin this morning's
rounds with a joke. Denise.
3
00:00:07,490 --> 00:00:09,163
Mm, I don't really have one.
4
00:00:09,197 --> 00:00:11,237
No, I meant that you
were the joke.
5
00:00:11,272 --> 00:00:12,609
Oh... Good one.
6
00:00:12,644 --> 00:00:14,616
Thanks. I thought of it
this morning
7
00:00:14,652 --> 00:00:17,227
While I was watching you
try to jam a catheter
8
00:00:17,261 --> 00:00:19,570
Into mr. Hazleton.
Yeah, he was a screamer.
9
00:00:19,604 --> 00:00:20,908
(laughs) aah, aah!
10
00:00:20,943 --> 00:00:21,946
What's your name?
11
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:24,590
I'm sonia, but everybody
calls me sunny.
12
00:00:24,624 --> 00:00:27,601
Is it because of your haunting
resemblance to sonny bono?
13
00:00:27,636 --> 00:00:28,773
Who's that?
14
00:00:28,807 --> 00:00:30,714
Moving on
to our next patient.
15
00:00:30,748 --> 00:00:33,591
Mr. Francone has been in a coma
for well over a year.
16
00:00:33,626 --> 00:00:35,566
His organs are starting
to fail,
17
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:39,281
And he probably won't be
with us very much longer.
18
00:00:39,315 --> 00:00:41,288
The most important thing
to remember
19
00:00:41,323 --> 00:00:43,029
During his final hours
here on earth is
20
00:00:43,063 --> 00:00:46,308
Do not ever come to me
and ask me questions
21
00:00:46,342 --> 00:00:48,249
About how to treat him.
22
00:00:48,283 --> 00:00:50,357
He's a potato.
23
00:00:50,391 --> 00:00:52,934
If you do, my answer
will always be the same--
24
00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:54,340
Sour cream, chives,
25
00:00:54,374 --> 00:00:56,983
And if I haven't had
any protein that day,
26
00:00:57,017 --> 00:00:59,928
Maybe just a sprinkling
of some of those bacon bits.
27
00:00:59,962 --> 00:01:03,911
Oh, my god.
His hand--it--it moved.
28
00:01:03,945 --> 00:01:05,148
Kidding.
29
00:01:05,183 --> 00:01:07,725
(whispers)
the man's a potato.
30
00:01:09,232 --> 00:01:12,644
Um, dr. Reid, no offense,
but have you been drinking?
31
00:01:12,679 --> 00:01:16,091
Oh, no. I read that shampooing
with beer is good for your hair.
32
00:01:16,125 --> 00:01:18,567
So I'm all sudsed up
in the shower this morning,
33
00:01:18,603 --> 00:01:21,613
And the hot water dies, so now
I've gotta spend the entire day
34
00:01:21,647 --> 00:01:24,056
Smelling like a brewery,
because there is no way
35
00:01:24,091 --> 00:01:26,566
That I'm going to rinse off
with ice water.
36
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:28,875
You see, this dress
only works without a bra,
37
00:01:28,910 --> 00:01:31,921
So if I get cold, it looks
like I'm smuggling candy corns.
38
00:01:31,955 --> 00:01:33,559
Hi, peggy,
this is dr. Mahoney.
39
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:36,572
She's gonna help me
take care of you.
What's that smell?
40
00:01:36,606 --> 00:01:39,115
It's my hair, okay? Peggy's got
a touch of pneumonia,
41
00:01:39,150 --> 00:01:41,993
But she's gonna pull through.
I wish my husband was here.
42
00:01:42,027 --> 00:01:44,536
He passed away
several months ago.
That sucks.
43
00:01:44,571 --> 00:01:46,076
It totally sucks.
44
00:01:46,110 --> 00:01:48,786
We were together
for 53 years.
45
00:01:48,821 --> 00:01:51,229
I'm sorry, peggy.
Is it cold in here?
46
00:01:51,263 --> 00:01:53,204
'cause it just feels
a little freezing.
47
00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:56,081
Um, I'm just gonna
go get a sweatshirt.
48
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,023
I don't know. Just hearing
49
00:01:58,057 --> 00:02:00,900
About how much that old patient
missed her husband
50
00:02:00,934 --> 00:02:02,205
Made me think of you.
51
00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:05,184
Aw. And a deep, wet
tongue kiss right back at you.
52
00:02:05,218 --> 00:02:07,159
(makes kissing sound)
53
00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:10,772
Is that j.D.?
No, it's my dad.
54
00:02:10,807 --> 00:02:13,215
Of course it was j.D.
Oh, that's good.
55
00:02:13,249 --> 00:02:15,223
That old broad
and her dead husband
56
00:02:15,257 --> 00:02:17,632
Got my engine revving, too.
I need some action.
57
00:02:17,667 --> 00:02:19,574
Luckily, cheeseburger day
at the caf
58
00:02:19,608 --> 00:02:22,385
Really brings out
the fatties.
Denise likes the big fellas.
59
00:02:22,419 --> 00:02:24,861
Oh, check out the ripples
on that gentleman.
60
00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:28,174
Ooh, it's like somebody
threw a boulder in a pond.
61
00:02:28,208 --> 00:02:30,483
Fat dudes rule.
They never expect commitment,
62
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,558
And they try so hard
in the sack.
63
00:02:32,592 --> 00:02:35,034
Plus, they're just so grateful
afterwards.
64
00:02:35,068 --> 00:02:38,347
Mm. Well, I'm just gonna
put this out here for bait
65
00:02:38,382 --> 00:02:41,694
And see what ambles
out of the forest.
Gooch!
66
00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:44,605
I forgot to tell you,
I have a girlfriend now.
67
00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:46,480
Stephanie gooch,
68
00:02:46,514 --> 00:02:48,621
This is elliott,
69
00:02:48,655 --> 00:02:52,637
And this is some girl
who digs fat guys.
70
00:02:52,671 --> 00:02:55,816
Come on, gooch, there's, like,
75 other people you haven't met
71
00:02:55,850 --> 00:02:57,857
Who don't believe you exist.
72
00:02:57,892 --> 00:03:00,801
Hey, miguel!
This is the girlfriend,
73
00:03:00,837 --> 00:03:02,441
And she is real.
74
00:03:02,476 --> 00:03:04,081
In yo' face!
75
00:03:05,990 --> 00:03:07,361
Baby, baby, baby, baby,
76
00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:09,837
I was pulling
some dude's spleen out today,
77
00:03:09,872 --> 00:03:12,347
And check it--
blood splashed on my scrubs.
78
00:03:12,381 --> 00:03:14,790
It looks like a tiger!
(growls)
79
00:03:14,824 --> 00:03:18,939
Why is that rt
a different color?
I might've used chocolate
pudding to do the tail.
80
00:03:18,975 --> 00:03:22,587
That's awesome, turk, but, um,
I have to tell you something.
What's up?
81
00:03:22,622 --> 00:03:25,198
I'm pregnant.
What? I knew it!
82
00:03:25,232 --> 00:03:27,774
'cause these past
couple of months,
83
00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:30,586
Your butt's
been like... Pow!
It's only been two weeks.
84
00:03:30,620 --> 00:03:32,493
Baby, this is g news,
85
00:03:32,527 --> 00:03:34,936
And I want to talk to you
about it. I do.
86
00:03:34,970 --> 00:03:37,713
First, I gotta go
to the bathroom.
It's too soon,
so don't tell anyone.
87
00:03:37,747 --> 00:03:40,725
Why would you even think
I would do something like that?
88
00:03:40,759 --> 00:03:43,068
J.D.! I've got news!
89
00:03:43,102 --> 00:03:45,945
J.D.! Where are you, friend?
90
00:03:45,981 --> 00:03:47,652
(shoes squeaking)
91
00:03:47,687 --> 00:03:49,426
You seen j.D.?
92
00:03:49,461 --> 00:03:52,472
No, I have not.
Would you like to know why?
93
00:03:52,506 --> 00:03:54,379
He isn't coming in today.
94
00:03:54,413 --> 00:03:56,788
He's on a mini vacation,
and it isn't just today.
95
00:03:56,822 --> 00:03:58,729
He's not coming in tomorrow,
96
00:03:58,764 --> 00:04:02,008
Which, by the way,
is my day off, but not anymore.
97
00:04:02,043 --> 00:04:04,485
I am coming in early
and I'm staying late,
98
00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:06,527
Emprano y me iré tarde
because life is
too darn short
99
00:04:06,561 --> 00:04:08,835
To spend the day bonding
with my family
100
00:04:08,869 --> 00:04:11,279
When I could be roaming
the halls of this hospital
101
00:04:11,313 --> 00:04:13,252
Without the possibility
of running
102
00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:16,934
Into that bearded hug monster
you call a best friend.
103
00:04:23,059 --> 00:04:26,103
Sorry I took so long, honey.
The line was long.
104
00:04:26,138 --> 00:04:28,914
Uh-huh.
How'd j.D. Take the news?
105
00:04:28,948 --> 00:04:30,721
He's not here today.
106
00:04:30,755 --> 00:04:32,294
(groans) I can't believe you.
107
00:04:32,328 --> 00:04:34,570
Yeah, right, like you weren't
just telling elliott.
108
00:04:34,604 --> 00:04:36,510
Well, I wasn't,
because when I say something
109
00:04:36,545 --> 00:04:38,920
Is between us as a couple,
it stays between us.
110
00:04:38,954 --> 00:04:40,660
I'm sorry.
111
00:04:40,695 --> 00:04:42,802
(pager beeps)
112
00:04:42,837 --> 00:04:44,542
I gotta go.
Congratulations.
113
00:04:44,577 --> 00:04:47,018
Mwah! All right?
114
00:04:48,492 --> 00:04:50,599
(both squealing)
115
00:04:52,474 --> 00:04:54,313
(squealing stops)
116
00:04:54,348 --> 00:04:55,920
Had the--
the test result--
intern. Yeah.
117
00:04:55,954 --> 00:04:57,961
Uh, the bleeding
and the, um, you know--
I know, I know, yeah.
118
00:04:57,996 --> 00:05:00,705
(both cheering and laughing)
119
00:05:00,740 --> 00:05:03,952
(lazlo bane) ¶ I can't do this
all on my own ¶
120
00:05:03,986 --> 00:05:05,491
¶ no, I know ¶
121
00:05:05,525 --> 00:05:07,198
¶ I'm no superman ¶
122
00:05:07,232 --> 00:05:11,682
¶
123
00:05:14,896 --> 00:05:17,538
You told elliott and got
that huge, excited reaction.
124
00:05:17,572 --> 00:05:20,249
I deserve to get that
from someone, too.
One person.
125
00:05:20,283 --> 00:05:22,323
One person, thank you.
(laughs)
126
00:05:22,358 --> 00:05:25,001
Hey, elliot, let me tell j.D.
About the baby.
Already did it.
127
00:05:25,035 --> 00:05:28,013
(cell phone beeps)
(j.D.) so, anyway, tell turk
that's great news
128
00:05:28,047 --> 00:05:29,987
About his baby.
That's it?
129
00:05:30,022 --> 00:05:32,998
Elliot, why would you put me
on speaker without telling me?
130
00:05:33,034 --> 00:05:35,409
Turk, I'm so excited for you!
Too little, too late,
buddy!
131
00:05:35,443 --> 00:05:38,018
Turk!
I don't wanna talk
to you, j.D.!
132
00:05:38,053 --> 00:05:39,156
Turk!
No.
133
00:05:39,191 --> 00:05:40,595
Turk!
Not here.
134
00:05:40,630 --> 00:05:42,770
Elliot,
is turk still there?
135
00:05:45,415 --> 00:05:47,689
Everybody's having babies.
136
00:05:47,725 --> 00:05:50,032
It's getting a little boring.
Dude!
137
00:05:50,066 --> 00:05:51,940
Elliot, take me off speaker!
138
00:05:51,974 --> 00:05:54,884
(beeping)
I'm trying!
Stupid technology!
139
00:05:54,919 --> 00:05:57,428
See you soon.
Dr. Cox, two quick things.
140
00:05:57,462 --> 00:05:59,335
First off, I looked up
a picture of sonny bono,
141
00:05:59,370 --> 00:06:01,945
And my feelings
are very, very hurt.
Noted.
142
00:06:01,980 --> 00:06:04,924
Apology accepted. Second, I know
we're aren't supposed to ask you
143
00:06:04,958 --> 00:06:06,396
About mr. Francone--
huh?
144
00:06:06,431 --> 00:06:07,903
The potato.
Right.
145
00:06:07,937 --> 00:06:10,412
See, the thing is, his sister
just called from london,
146
00:06:10,447 --> 00:06:13,726
And she was hoping we could keep
mr. Francone--the potato--
oh.
147
00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:16,000
Alive until she got here.
Can you please help?
148
00:06:16,035 --> 00:06:18,946
Let me see his chart.
I'll tell you what to do first.
149
00:06:18,980 --> 00:06:21,121
Go ahead
and write this down.
Okay.
150
00:06:21,155 --> 00:06:24,099
Wrap him in foil and poke holes
in him with a fork
151
00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:26,609
So he cooks
all the way through.
Come on.
152
00:06:26,643 --> 00:06:29,153
Sunshine, I have neither
the inclination or the time
153
00:06:29,187 --> 00:06:31,126
To care about people
who I cannot help.
154
00:06:31,162 --> 00:06:34,205
If you're looking for someone
whose heartstrings you can tug,
155
00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:35,979
Well... There's your gal.
156
00:06:36,014 --> 00:06:38,857
She cares. In fact,
it's her only real fault.
157
00:06:38,891 --> 00:06:41,902
Look at her over there.
She's caring right now.
158
00:06:41,937 --> 00:06:44,580
Go! Go, go, go, go.
159
00:06:44,614 --> 00:06:46,889
Actually, yeah,
dr. Cox is here.
160
00:06:46,923 --> 00:06:49,398
(j.D.) god help me.
I could sense it.
161
00:06:49,433 --> 00:06:51,908
Put me in his pocket.
J.D., I'm--
162
00:06:51,942 --> 00:06:55,388
Elliot, please. I want this.
(sighs)
163
00:06:59,941 --> 00:07:01,948
(groans) I miss my boyfriend
much.
164
00:07:01,982 --> 00:07:04,926
If he were here, I might
actually lick his face.
165
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:06,399
Thank you, dr. Appropriate.
166
00:07:06,433 --> 00:07:09,176
Peggy, I'm gonna have
a quick chat with these two,
167
00:07:09,210 --> 00:07:10,247
Okay, sweetie?
168
00:07:10,281 --> 00:07:11,552
Thanks, bob.
169
00:07:11,587 --> 00:07:14,363
Send peggy for an a.B.G.
And a chest c.T.,
170
00:07:14,397 --> 00:07:17,241
And when you're done,
send her sputum for atypicals.
171
00:07:17,275 --> 00:07:20,119
Dr. Kelso, you do realize that
you don't work here anymore.
172
00:07:20,153 --> 00:07:22,194
Look, her husband
was an old friend.
173
00:07:22,228 --> 00:07:24,737
Plus, I have forgotten more
about medicine
174
00:07:24,771 --> 00:07:27,013
Than you t will ever know.
175
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:28,285
I don't know you,
176
00:07:28,319 --> 00:07:31,195
But I assume I have you beat
because you're blonde
177
00:07:31,230 --> 00:07:33,672
And you're rolling
with dr. Reeks-of-beer.
178
00:07:33,706 --> 00:07:36,617
It's my hair, okay?
Yeah, and watch the lip,
grandpa,
179
00:07:36,651 --> 00:07:38,926
Because you wouldn't be
the first old man
180
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:40,934
I ever beat up.
Ha!
181
00:07:40,968 --> 00:07:43,377
I like her.
She's got girl balls.
182
00:07:43,411 --> 00:07:47,894
(j.D.) ahh, I love listening
to you work.
183
00:07:47,929 --> 00:07:49,701
Come on. Admit it.
184
00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:53,684
You miss me
as much as I miss you.
185
00:07:53,718 --> 00:07:55,123
There you go, dorian.
186
00:07:55,157 --> 00:07:57,331
That's what I think of you
as a person.
187
00:07:57,366 --> 00:08:00,979
I hope you enjoyed it.
Here, you.
I didn't hear it all,
but that sounded harsh.
188
00:08:01,013 --> 00:08:02,652
Are you okay?
(high-pitched voice) no!
189
00:08:02,686 --> 00:08:05,095
Hey, teddy, carla said
I could tell something
190
00:08:05,129 --> 00:08:08,341
To just one person,
so here goes!
191
00:08:08,376 --> 00:08:11,487
Carla and I are having a baby!
Oh, great.
192
00:08:11,521 --> 00:08:13,930
(ted and bob murmuring)
what the hell is the matter
with you people?
193
00:08:13,964 --> 00:08:17,276
Carla and I are having a baby!
No, you're having
a second baby.
194
00:08:17,311 --> 00:08:19,183
It's not that big a deal.
195
00:08:19,218 --> 00:08:21,627
When we had ours,
we barely told anybody.
196
00:08:21,661 --> 00:08:25,307
You had a second kid?
A little girl.
You held her in your arms.
197
00:08:25,342 --> 00:08:29,157
Mazel tov to you both.
Can't a brother get
at least a mazel tov?
198
00:08:29,191 --> 00:08:31,331
Gooch and I are gonna hold off
on the babies.
199
00:08:31,366 --> 00:08:33,339
We've only known each other
a week.
200
00:08:33,374 --> 00:08:37,522
Plus, with all the cycling,
201
00:08:37,557 --> 00:08:39,430
Apparently I've do
and mine don't have any tails.
202
00:08:39,464 --> 00:08:43,077
They're just kinda blobs
that roll from place to place.
203
00:08:43,111 --> 00:08:45,018
Oh, hey, everybody,
I'll tell you someone
204
00:08:45,053 --> 00:08:47,528
Who just did have
their first baby.
205
00:08:47,562 --> 00:08:49,369
Witman up in radiology!
206
00:08:49,403 --> 00:08:51,477
Come on! Witman!
207
00:08:51,512 --> 00:08:53,652
No! Witman's not even here!
208
00:08:53,686 --> 00:08:55,057
Hey, nurse espinosa. Carla.
209
00:08:55,092 --> 00:08:56,999
Look, I know
you're not working tonight,
210
00:08:57,033 --> 00:08:59,341
But I was hoping
you could stay and help me
211
00:08:59,376 --> 00:09:02,152
Keep my coma patient alive
until his sister gets here.
212
00:09:02,186 --> 00:09:05,197
What do you say? A little coffee
and girl talk? It might be fun.
Mm.
213
00:09:05,232 --> 00:09:08,176
Anay, dr. Cox said that
you were the one I should ask.
214
00:09:08,210 --> 00:09:09,950
He did, did he?
215
00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:11,823
Hi!
(laughs)
216
00:09:11,857 --> 00:09:12,928
(groans)
217
00:09:12,963 --> 00:09:15,772
So can you stay
and help me out tonight?
218
00:09:15,807 --> 00:09:18,784
I'll see what I can do.
Yay!
219
00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:21,762
Dial it down.
(quietly) yay.
220
00:09:23,905 --> 00:09:26,381
(sighs)
221
00:09:26,415 --> 00:09:27,919
You eatin' lunch?
222
00:09:27,954 --> 00:09:29,359
What gave it away?
223
00:09:29,394 --> 00:09:31,534
J.D. And I
usually eat lunch together.
224
00:09:31,568 --> 00:09:33,575
Oh, god, here it comes.
225
00:09:33,610 --> 00:09:35,583
J.D. Was sitting
in that exact chair
226
00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:38,093
When we had
our third kiss.
Oh, that's very romantic.
227
00:09:38,127 --> 00:09:40,737
I will try not to drillany more.
228
00:09:40,771 --> 00:09:43,849
I just feel like something's
been weighing me down all day.
229
00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:46,359
I mean, sure,
I was in the x-ray room
230
00:09:46,393 --> 00:09:48,467
A couple of hours ago,
and when I left,
231
00:09:48,502 --> 00:09:51,512
I totally forgot
to take off the lead vest,
232
00:09:51,546 --> 00:09:54,256
But it's off now,
and the weight's still there.
233
00:09:54,290 --> 00:09:56,665
I mean, it's not as bad,
but it's pretty bad.
234
00:09:56,701 --> 00:10:00,414
(sighs) it just sucks,
you know?
I don't see how
it could get any worse.
235
00:10:00,448 --> 00:10:02,188
(pager beeps)
236
00:10:02,222 --> 00:10:04,999
I don't understand
how this happened.
237
00:10:05,033 --> 00:10:06,939
She just went like that.
238
00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:10,086
Hey, dr. Turk,
what are you working on?
239
00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,260
Signing a death certificate
for a kid who pass--
240
00:10:12,295 --> 00:10:13,699
Oh, good for you!
241
00:10:13,733 --> 00:10:15,740
Hey, listen, were you
one of the people
242
00:10:15,775 --> 00:10:18,016
Who didn't believe
I had a girlfriend?
243
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:20,292
Because... Bam!
There she is!
244
00:10:20,327 --> 00:10:22,735
Wow. She's...
Too cute for you, ted.
245
00:10:22,769 --> 00:10:24,475
Right. Spread the word.
246
00:10:24,510 --> 00:10:26,483
Stephanie,
this is dr. Turk.
247
00:10:26,518 --> 00:10:27,955
Hey.
How's it goin'?
248
00:10:27,990 --> 00:10:30,699
It's pretty good.
I'm having a baby, you know.
249
00:10:30,734 --> 00:10:33,410
Is this your first?
250
00:10:33,444 --> 00:10:35,385
Why, yes, it is.
251
00:10:35,419 --> 00:10:37,861
That is so awesome!
Congratulations!
252
00:10:37,895 --> 00:10:40,705
That's what
I was looking for! Wow!
I wanna know everything.
253
00:10:40,739 --> 00:10:42,780
Do you wanna talk
about it?
254
00:10:42,814 --> 00:10:45,524
Gooch, let's go talk about it.
See, now what happened was...
255
00:10:47,499 --> 00:10:49,239
Good night, dr. Cox.
256
00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:52,150
Isn't carla staying
to help you out?
She id
she had things to do.
257
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:54,961
But that's okay. I know
I haven't been a doctor long,
258
00:10:54,996 --> 00:10:56,969
But I'm great
at placing I.V.S,
259
00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:58,944
And you know,
giving pills to people,
260
00:10:58,978 --> 00:11:01,587
So I should be fine.
Huh.
261
00:11:01,621 --> 00:11:04,833
(nervously) oh, good.
You're gone, too.
262
00:11:04,868 --> 00:11:08,247
Peggy was a sweet old bird.
263
00:11:08,281 --> 00:11:11,292
She only had pneumonia.
264
00:11:11,327 --> 00:11:14,270
She and her husband
were together for 50 years.
265
00:11:14,304 --> 00:11:15,710
Sometimes in those cases,
266
00:11:15,744 --> 00:11:18,152
It's not the illness
that gets you.
267
00:11:18,187 --> 00:11:20,997
I mean,
your soul mate's gone,
268
00:11:21,031 --> 00:11:23,038
And your body just gives up.
269
00:11:23,072 --> 00:11:26,551
I actually think
it'sind of sweet.
270
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:29,630
I don't know.
If I ever get married...
271
00:11:29,665 --> 00:11:33,010
And my husband dies
before me...
272
00:11:33,045 --> 00:11:35,955
I'm sure that I'll have enough
going on in my own life
273
00:11:35,990 --> 00:11:38,498
That I'll want
to keep on living, you know?
274
00:11:38,533 --> 00:11:41,477
Well, that's just some quality
crap you're spewing there.
275
00:11:41,511 --> 00:11:43,618
You've been moping around here
all day
276
00:11:43,653 --> 00:11:46,797
Just because dorian's
been gone, what, 12 hours?
277
00:11:46,833 --> 00:11:49,776
And I'm guessing you didn't
hear a word I just said
278
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:51,817
Because you're looking
at your telephone
279
00:11:51,852 --> 00:11:54,863
To see if he has texted you
in the last five minutes.
280
00:11:54,897 --> 00:11:56,068
Did he?
281
00:11:56,102 --> 00:11:57,172
Yes.
282
00:11:57,206 --> 00:11:58,711
(beep)
"thinking of you."
283
00:11:58,745 --> 00:11:59,849
See?
284
00:11:59,884 --> 00:12:01,321
And there's the smile.
285
00:12:01,356 --> 00:12:04,333
You see, you're no different
from peggy.
286
00:12:04,368 --> 00:12:06,274
What are you saying,
that if j.D. Died,
287
00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:09,352
I would just die
right afterwards?
Well, I could only hope.
288
00:12:09,388 --> 00:12:10,926
But my point is,
289
00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:13,971
Don't stand there
being judgmental about her
290
00:12:14,005 --> 00:12:16,481
When you're no different.
291
00:12:18,188 --> 00:12:20,262
(knock on door)
292
00:12:22,204 --> 00:12:24,613
(mouth full)
what are you doing here?
293
00:12:24,647 --> 00:12:27,223
Well, I think
the better question is,
294
00:12:27,258 --> 00:12:29,532
What are you doing here?
I live here.
295
00:12:29,567 --> 00:12:32,510
That's not the better question.
It's the worst question.
296
00:12:32,545 --> 00:12:35,924
Why aren't you at the hospital
helping cheery, annoying intern?
I had stuff to do.
297
00:12:35,958 --> 00:12:38,300
What gives you the right
to give me a hard time?
298
00:12:38,334 --> 00:12:41,680
Why aren't you at the hospital
helping sunny?
Because I don't give a damn
299
00:12:41,714 --> 00:12:44,056
About terminal coma patients
or interns.
300
00:12:44,090 --> 00:12:47,669
I get to not give a damn because
I know that you always will.
301
00:12:47,705 --> 00:12:50,849
I mean, give me a break, carla.
Tell me the last time
302
00:12:50,884 --> 00:12:54,028
That you ever walked off
on a patient.
The guy's been in a coma
for a year, okay?
303
00:12:54,062 --> 00:12:57,107
He's an eggplant.
Okay, first of all,
he's not an eggplant.
304
00:12:57,141 --> 00:12:58,545
He's a potato.
305
00:12:58,580 --> 00:13:00,855
And secondly, that's something
I would say, not you.
306
00:13:00,889 --> 00:13:04,469
You used to care so much
about this stuff, remember?
307
00:13:04,504 --> 00:13:06,845
What happened to you?
308
00:13:08,687 --> 00:13:10,224
Oh.
309
00:13:10,260 --> 00:13:13,438
It's always good to slam a door
right about now.
310
00:13:19,897 --> 00:13:23,310
Hey, sunny,
how'd it go last night?
311
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:25,518
Great.
Thank god.
312
00:13:25,552 --> 00:13:27,961
I mean, he crashed a few times,
but I brought him back.
313
00:13:27,995 --> 00:13:29,969
I mean, really,
the only scary moment
314
00:13:30,003 --> 00:13:32,478
Was when he seized while I was
injecting him with dopamine.
315
00:13:32,514 --> 00:13:34,052
The needle slipped,
316
00:13:34,086 --> 00:13:36,026
And I accidentally
stabbed myself with it,
317
00:13:36,061 --> 00:13:38,001
But I only freaked out
for a second
318
00:13:38,035 --> 00:13:39,974
Until I remembered
that comas aren't contagious.
319
00:13:40,009 --> 00:13:41,916
And then
the dopamine kicked in,
320
00:13:41,950 --> 00:13:43,857
Which actually made
the whole night more enjoyable,
321
00:13:43,891 --> 00:13:46,568
But now I'm sort of jonesing
for another hit. Is that bad?
322
00:13:46,602 --> 00:13:48,576
Let's go downstairs
and get you some juice.
323
00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:51,052
Kelso's right. J.D.'s gone,
and I'm miserable.
324
00:13:51,086 --> 00:13:53,361
I used to be such a strong,
independent woman,
325
00:13:53,396 --> 00:13:56,105
Did you know, once, I actually
changed the oil in my car
326
00:13:56,140 --> 00:13:57,511
All by myself?
327
00:13:57,545 --> 00:13:59,049
Saved 30 bucks.
Cool.
328
00:13:59,084 --> 00:14:01,124
Yeah, unfortunately,
I dumped the dirty, old oil
329
00:14:01,159 --> 00:14:02,530
Into a storm drain.
330
00:14:02,564 --> 00:14:04,571
The department of fish
and wildlife
331
00:14:04,605 --> 00:14:06,044
Fined me 1,400 bucks
332
00:14:06,078 --> 00:14:07,984
And declared me
an "enemy of the ocean,"
333
00:14:08,019 --> 00:14:10,026
Whatever the hell
that means.
334
00:14:10,060 --> 00:14:12,402
Hey! I know I usually
write songs for kids,
335
00:14:12,436 --> 00:14:15,815
But I wrote a song for you.
Do you want to hear it?
Yeah.
336
00:14:15,850 --> 00:14:17,756
¶ you knocked up
your lady ¶
337
00:14:17,791 --> 00:14:19,731
¶ now you're havin'
a baby ¶
338
00:14:19,765 --> 00:14:22,374
¶ 'cause you're gonna be
a first-time dad ¶
339
00:14:22,408 --> 00:14:25,386
¶ people used to tell you
that your life was meant to ¶
340
00:14:25,420 --> 00:14:27,795
¶ procreate a family
of your own ¶
341
00:14:27,830 --> 00:14:31,510
¶ then you went and did it,
'cause you finally did it ¶
342
00:14:31,545 --> 00:14:34,188
¶ now you're gonna have
your own turk clone ¶
343
00:14:34,222 --> 00:14:37,433
¶ there's a little baby
in your lady's soft womb ¶
uh-huh.
344
00:14:37,468 --> 00:14:40,110
¶ so just sit tight an¶
345
00:14:40,145 --> 00:14:43,357
¶ it's time to realize that
your life is gonna change soon ¶
346
00:14:43,391 --> 00:14:45,231
¶ you'll be a dad,
first-time, first-time ¶
347
00:14:45,265 --> 00:14:48,109
¶ you're a dad,
first-time, first-time ¶
ha! Whoo!
348
00:14:48,143 --> 00:14:49,380
¶ and remember ¶
349
00:14:49,414 --> 00:14:50,785
Whoo!
350
00:14:50,821 --> 00:14:52,225
Whoo...
351
00:14:52,260 --> 00:14:55,471
Did you tell her
it was our first baby?
It's not your first?
352
00:14:55,505 --> 00:14:58,048
Um... It's our first
since our first.
353
00:14:58,082 --> 00:14:59,988
Hey, carla,
were you one of those people
354
00:15:00,023 --> 00:15:02,900
Who didn't believe
I haa girlfriend?
Not now, ted.
355
00:15:02,935 --> 00:15:05,410
When izzy's 15
and she's trying to decide
356
00:15:05,444 --> 00:15:07,318
Which one of us
she likes better,
357
00:15:07,352 --> 00:15:10,363
I'm so gonna use this.
358
00:15:14,212 --> 00:15:15,683
(slams clipboard)
359
00:15:15,718 --> 00:15:18,327
What is your problem?
My husband's telling everybody
360
00:15:18,362 --> 00:15:21,406
That I'm pregnant
with our first child.
Carla, if you're gonna
get upset
361
00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:23,381
Every time your husband
does something stupid,
362
00:15:23,415 --> 00:15:26,358
Then you're going to be upset
every second of every minute,
363
00:15:26,394 --> 00:15:28,534
Every minute of every hour,
every hour of every day,
364
00:15:28,568 --> 00:15:30,877
Every day--
stop.
365
00:15:30,911 --> 00:15:35,260
I was prepared to go to century,
but that's not why I'm here.
I know. I left the poor intern
alone last night.
366
00:15:35,295 --> 00:15:37,201
I can't believe I did that.
367
00:15:37,235 --> 00:15:39,142
I mean, don't get me wrong.
She did a great job.
368
00:15:39,177 --> 00:15:41,150
Although, once she had
a nightmare
369
00:15:41,185 --> 00:15:43,091
That the coma patient
woke up and stabbed her,
370
00:15:43,125 --> 00:15:45,032
She actually tied the patient
to the bed,
371
00:15:45,066 --> 00:15:47,576
Which she probably shouldn't
have done, but that's on me.
372
00:15:47,610 --> 00:15:50,587
So go ahead,
rub it in my face.
As much as I'm a huge fan
373
00:15:50,621 --> 00:15:52,628
Of a good, old-fashioned
face rubbing,
374
00:15:52,662 --> 00:15:54,536
I'm here to apologize.
375
00:15:54,570 --> 00:15:57,012
(j.D.) apologize for what?
Elliot, slow down!
376
00:15:57,046 --> 00:15:59,053
No. J.D., you're talking
to me.
377
00:15:59,088 --> 00:16:01,296
Fine. You sound upset.
What's wrong?
378
00:16:01,330 --> 00:16:03,404
(sighs) I don't wanna
get into it.
379
00:16:03,438 --> 00:16:06,382
You know what I do
when I need to clear my head?
380
00:16:06,417 --> 00:16:09,461
I just let my mind drift
and fantasize about stuff.
381
00:16:09,496 --> 00:16:10,867
Yeah, I've noticed.
382
00:16:10,901 --> 00:16:14,380
J.D.? J.D., you're fantasizing
right now, aren't you?
383
00:16:14,415 --> 00:16:16,923
That's why you should
never trust a camel.
384
00:16:16,958 --> 00:16:18,329
(laughs)
385
00:16:18,364 --> 00:16:20,538
Hey, man, I wanted
to warn you.
386
00:16:20,572 --> 00:16:22,445
Stay clear
of my girlfriend.
387
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:26,762
The gooch does not like
being lied to.
I'm pretty sure
I can handle it, ted.
388
00:16:26,796 --> 00:16:29,573
Why did you lie about that
being your first kid, anyway?
389
00:16:29,607 --> 00:16:31,849
'cause when carla told me
about the new baby,
390
00:16:31,883 --> 00:16:34,292
I didn't get that crazy,
excited feeling I got
391
00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:36,199
When I heard about izzy.
392
00:16:36,234 --> 00:16:39,010
I'm an idiot.
Nah, it's just
your second kid.
393
00:16:39,045 --> 00:16:41,252
Look, I don't know
if you noticed,
394
00:16:41,287 --> 00:16:43,193
But I've been kinda,
like, jazzed
395
00:16:43,228 --> 00:16:45,201
Cionado
about this being
my first girlfriend.
396
00:16:45,236 --> 00:16:47,243
You know,
it's new and exciting.
397
00:16:47,277 --> 00:16:48,715
But when she dumps me--
398
00:16:48,749 --> 00:16:50,756
And believe me, it'soming
like a freight train--
399
00:16:50,790 --> 00:16:52,932
I'll try to find a new gal,
400
00:16:52,966 --> 00:16:56,077
And if I do, it probably won't
have that initial excitement
401
00:16:56,112 --> 00:16:58,018
That the first one did.
402
00:16:58,053 --> 00:17:00,963
(laughs) but that doesn't mean
it wouldn't be great,
403
00:17:00,997 --> 00:17:03,908
'cause, I mean, I'd be having
a second girlfriend.
404
00:17:03,942 --> 00:17:05,916
Yeah.
405
00:17:05,950 --> 00:17:08,860
Does this have anything to do
with your situation?
406
00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:10,266
Kinda.
407
00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:13,244
Hey!
I know, we had a great ride.
Still friends?
408
00:17:13,279 --> 00:17:15,654
Not you, ted!
Ooh, still alive!
409
00:17:15,688 --> 00:17:18,699
So help me, if you ever make me
look like a fool again,
410
00:17:18,734 --> 00:17:20,774
I'll bash your face in
with this thing
411
00:17:20,808 --> 00:17:23,618
Until it is a million pieces.
Are we clear?
Crystal.
412
00:17:23,652 --> 00:17:25,559
Good.
413
00:17:25,594 --> 00:17:27,366
(bang)
414
00:17:27,401 --> 00:17:28,772
Nope.
415
00:17:28,807 --> 00:17:32,152
The gooch does not like
being lied to.
416
00:17:34,061 --> 00:17:35,766
Whose room is this?
417
00:17:35,801 --> 00:17:37,272
Kelso's dead friend.
418
00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:39,849
Oh, yeah,
that old biddy.
419
00:17:39,883 --> 00:17:41,288
You see?
420
00:17:41,322 --> 00:17:44,701
I never used to say stuff
like that.
421
00:17:44,735 --> 00:17:46,676
Unless it's someone I know,
and even then,
422
00:17:46,710 --> 00:17:51,394
If it happens in a funny way,
like my cousin
423
00:17:51,429 --> 00:17:53,401
Who, honest to god,
wafli still actually enjoy it.
424
00:17:53,437 --> 00:17:54,841
I abandoned an intern
425
00:17:54,876 --> 00:17:57,049
Who was just trying
to keep her patient alive
426
00:17:57,084 --> 00:17:59,057
So his sister
could say good-bye.
427
00:17:59,092 --> 00:18:02,170
Look, sooner or later, everybody
in this place stops caring
428
00:18:02,204 --> 00:18:05,148
About hopeless, terminally ill,
brain-dead coma patients
429
00:18:05,183 --> 00:18:07,658
And interns who want
to save the world.
430
00:18:07,692 --> 00:18:10,803
You somehow managed
to hang on
431
00:18:10,838 --> 00:18:13,950
Quite a bit longer
than the rest of us.
432
00:18:13,984 --> 00:18:16,827
Carla, you are
a wonderful nurse.
433
00:18:16,862 --> 00:18:19,337
You got a husband,
plus you got a kid,
434
00:18:19,371 --> 00:18:21,345
Plus you got another kid
coming.
435
00:18:21,379 --> 00:18:24,490
It was completely unfair of me
to expect more of you
436
00:18:24,525 --> 00:18:26,699
Than anyone else
in this dump.
437
00:18:26,734 --> 00:18:29,309
And brace yourself,
'cause here it comes--
438
00:18:29,344 --> 00:18:33,693
I, percival ulysses cox...
439
00:18:33,727 --> 00:18:36,304
Am sorry.
440
00:18:36,338 --> 00:18:39,717
"ulysses"?
Shh, shh, shh.
441
00:18:39,751 --> 00:18:42,494
(beeping)
(randy coleman) ¶ write your
name and put it on my cast ¶
442
00:18:42,529 --> 00:18:45,808
So just call him already.
You know you want to.
443
00:18:45,842 --> 00:18:48,752
No. I don't want to end up
being an old lady
444
00:18:48,786 --> 00:18:50,627
Who's so dependent
on her partner
445
00:18:50,661 --> 00:18:53,839
That she just croaks
right after he does.
I wish I was
emotionally healthy enough
446
00:18:53,873 --> 00:18:56,583
To love someone so much
that I died after they did.
447
00:18:56,617 --> 00:18:58,859
I was with that dude
last night.
448
00:18:58,893 --> 00:19:00,799
The only way
I'm going to die after him
449
00:19:00,834 --> 00:19:03,778
Is if he had a heart attack
while he was on top of me.
450
00:19:03,812 --> 00:19:06,154
Crap, I just turned myself on.
Rudy!
451
00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:07,894
Upstairs.
452
00:19:07,928 --> 00:19:10,438
God help me,
I like that crazy bitch.
453
00:19:10,472 --> 00:19:13,449
I thought it would be different
this time with j.D.
454
00:19:13,484 --> 00:19:16,427
I didn't think I'd let myself
get so vulnerable.
455
00:19:16,462 --> 00:19:18,000
Well, that's dumb.
456
00:19:18,035 --> 00:19:20,979
Relationships are
about taking a leap of faith.
457
00:19:21,013 --> 00:19:23,455
That's why
it's called "jumping in."
458
00:19:23,490 --> 00:19:25,798
Now dorian seems
to make you happy.
459
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:28,207
God knows why.
Isn't that enough?
460
00:19:28,242 --> 00:19:31,118
¶ you found another way
to get it back instead ¶
(beeps)
461
00:19:31,153 --> 00:19:32,590
(j.D.) hello?
462
00:19:32,626 --> 00:19:35,970
Hey, I miss you.
463
00:19:36,005 --> 00:19:38,280
¶
464
00:19:38,314 --> 00:19:40,188
I get why it wigged you out.
465
00:19:40,222 --> 00:19:43,233
At the end of the day,
relationships are tricky.
466
00:19:43,267 --> 00:19:44,672
(groans) please don't do
467
00:19:44,706 --> 00:19:46,813
That whole philosophical,
pontificating thing.
468
00:19:46,848 --> 00:19:48,152
Okay.
469
00:19:48,186 --> 00:19:49,725
Fine. Go ahead.
470
00:19:49,759 --> 00:19:50,929
Thanks.
471
00:19:50,964 --> 00:19:53,707
Things are always different
the second time around.
472
00:19:53,741 --> 00:19:56,217
You are about to be
a big sister, izzy.
473
00:19:56,252 --> 00:19:58,492
Yes, you are. Huh?
474
00:19:58,527 --> 00:20:00,433
You just have to remember
475
00:20:00,468 --> 00:20:03,311
That even if things are changing
all around you,
476
00:20:03,345 --> 00:20:06,390
Deep down
you're still the same person.
(scoffs) I guess.
477
00:20:06,424 --> 00:20:09,938
Hey, carla, can I talk to you
for a second?
478
00:20:09,972 --> 00:20:12,179
You know you're not supposed
to be working tonight, right?
479
00:20:12,214 --> 00:20:15,191
Yeah, I know, but sunny said
the sister would be here
480
00:20:15,226 --> 00:20:17,768
In about six hours, and...
481
00:20:17,803 --> 00:20:21,349
I'm not ready to let g
of that part of myself yet.
482
00:20:21,383 --> 00:20:22,687
You know?
483
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,527
Yes.
484
00:20:24,562 --> 00:20:26,770
Do you want to stay
and help?
485
00:20:26,804 --> 00:20:27,510
No, I do not.
486
00:20:27,544 --> 00:20:30,150
Good night, ulysses.
487
00:20:42,151 --> 00:20:43,151
Hi Perry!
488
00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:45,841
Probably checking your pockets right now,
489
00:20:45,875 --> 00:20:46,815
But I'm not there.
490
00:20:46,883 --> 00:20:49,893
See, I had elliot hide me
somewhere in your office.
491
00:20:49,962 --> 00:20:51,901
Now while I've got you,
492
00:20:51,970 --> 00:20:54,412
I-I thought we could discuss
our relationship.
493
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:57,256
It's had some ups,
and it's had some downs.
494
00:20:57,324 --> 00:20:59,933
I'm gonna start
by passing out some gold stars.
495
00:21:00,001 --> 00:21:02,945
The first one goes to you
for your passion.
496
00:21:03,013 --> 00:21:06,459
The next one goes to me
for my compassion.
497
00:21:06,527 --> 00:21:08,467
What I think we should do
498
00:21:08,535 --> 00:21:10,642
Is take passion
and compassion...
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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