1 00:00:04,037 --> 00:00:06,198 J.D.: After a weekend with Sam, it's always sad 2 00:00:06,239 --> 00:00:09,208 driving him the 37 minutes back to Kim's house. 3 00:00:09,242 --> 00:00:10,675 Still, there was one positive. 4 00:00:11,911 --> 00:00:16,177 Elliot's a bit territorial, so if I got any physical contact from Kim... 5 00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:18,446 Oh, your collar's messed up. 6 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,750 ...on the way home Elliot made me pull over for car sex. 7 00:00:25,925 --> 00:00:28,018 I know I shouldn't exploit her insecurities, 8 00:00:28,061 --> 00:00:31,360 but car sex really appeals to my exhibitionist side. 9 00:00:36,736 --> 00:00:38,203 Here we are. 10 00:00:38,671 --> 00:00:41,003 That bitch better watch her hands. 11 00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:43,069 Hi, Kim. 12 00:00:43,109 --> 00:00:44,303 Hi. 13 00:00:45,678 --> 00:00:47,805 Oh, J.D., you have fuzz in your hair. 14 00:00:47,847 --> 00:00:49,838 J.D.: I know. I put it there. 15 00:00:50,283 --> 00:00:52,183 I need to tell you guys something. 16 00:00:52,952 --> 00:00:54,613 It didn't matter what Kim had to say. 17 00:00:54,654 --> 00:00:57,452 Elliot was already in car-sex mode. 18 00:00:57,490 --> 00:01:00,220 Yeah, to save time, I'll just probably take off my underwear here. 19 00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:01,887 Whatever's good for you. 20 00:01:01,928 --> 00:01:04,362 Nothing could stop this train. 21 00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:05,887 Ta-da! 22 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,024 Sean? 23 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:11,060 You know, unless Kim was dating Elliot's stupid ex-boyfriend. 24 00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:13,231 Hey, Elliot. J.D. 25 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:15,434 Sean. 26 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,136 You know what sucks? 27 00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:22,774 I have to hire a new Chief of Surgery and I just can't fathom 28 00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:26,445 giving any of you tiny-brained scalpel jockeys a leadership position. 29 00:01:26,486 --> 00:01:27,885 Honestly, so far, 30 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:31,379 this is the only candidate who I'm seriously considering. 31 00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:33,255 The guy has the opposable thumbs, 32 00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:35,454 so you automatically know he can handle the job. 33 00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:38,055 And, well, I was just thinking if you slap a diaper on him 34 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,532 and maybe tape some glasses to his face, 35 00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:42,728 sure-shooting he'll look professional enough. 36 00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:45,761 You know what? I'm gonna call the gentleman. 37 00:01:48,741 --> 00:01:50,140 I'd be great at that job. 38 00:01:50,176 --> 00:01:52,371 - Then go for it. - Chief of Surgery? 39 00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:55,540 Baby, one of the most amazing things about you 40 00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:57,709 is that when you want something badly enough, 41 00:01:57,750 --> 00:01:59,809 you always make it happen. 42 00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:01,753 Remember when you first started working here 43 00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:04,689 and I had no interest in dating you? What did you do? 44 00:02:04,724 --> 00:02:05,816 I made it happen. 45 00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:08,453 And what about when I had no interest in marrying you? 46 00:02:08,495 --> 00:02:09,860 I made it happen. 47 00:02:09,896 --> 00:02:12,228 Go make this happen. 48 00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:13,755 I'm doing it. 49 00:02:16,202 --> 00:02:19,660 Even though you didn't used to like me, I'm your world now, right? 50 00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:21,173 My whole world. 51 00:02:21,841 --> 00:02:23,468 That's what I'm talking about. 52 00:02:26,746 --> 00:02:28,077 No, thanks. 53 00:02:28,114 --> 00:02:29,308 So how's married life? 54 00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:31,249 You have to make compromises. 55 00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:35,084 Like my wife's allergic to raccoons, so I had to throw out my comforter. 56 00:02:35,121 --> 00:02:36,679 How was your honeymoon? 57 00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:39,749 Did you know that Kelso stayed in the Bahamas, too? 58 00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:42,493 I love you. 59 00:02:42,529 --> 00:02:44,156 I love you, too. 60 00:02:48,701 --> 00:02:50,532 Let's never leave. 61 00:02:52,872 --> 00:02:54,271 Yeah, we saw him. 62 00:02:54,307 --> 00:02:55,797 Yeah, I'm sorry. 63 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:59,869 I was so blitzed with rum drinks, I could barely remember where I was. 64 00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:01,039 I feel horrible. 65 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:02,411 Oh, no, stop it. 66 00:03:02,448 --> 00:03:03,938 At first, you were like the third wheel from hell, 67 00:03:03,983 --> 00:03:05,541 but then we made you do stuff. 68 00:03:05,585 --> 00:03:08,418 Had you pay for our meals, got you into a couple bar fights. 69 00:03:08,454 --> 00:03:11,048 Oh, on the beach, we bet you you couldn't eat a starfish. 70 00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:13,217 - And? - I owe you a buck. 71 00:03:13,259 --> 00:03:15,193 - So you had fun with it. - Oh, yeah. 72 00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:18,254 - Good. - Folks, I'm sorry, but we have to close. 73 00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:20,960 Our pastry maker was just admitted to the hospital 74 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,696 with a highly contagious intestinal virus. 75 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,372 What the hell? I'm already in it. 76 00:03:31,077 --> 00:03:33,602 Hi, I need to check myself in. 77 00:03:33,646 --> 00:03:34,943 For what? 78 00:03:40,186 --> 00:03:41,517 For that. 79 00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:46,492 So we've been dating, what? About a month? 80 00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:48,289 And I just didn't wanna say anything 81 00:03:48,328 --> 00:03:50,023 until I knew it was gonna go somewhere, and... 82 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,621 Well, we hit a little speed bump 83 00:03:51,664 --> 00:03:53,859 when I first found out that Sam was your baby. 84 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:56,494 Yeah, he got drunk and asked me to sell him on the black market. 85 00:03:56,536 --> 00:03:58,299 Yeah. She wouldn't, but... 86 00:03:58,338 --> 00:03:59,805 That's sweet. 87 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,303 I just don't understand how you two even met. 88 00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:04,242 Did someone introduce you? 89 00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:09,439 I love you? 90 00:04:09,482 --> 00:04:12,315 Sweetie, it was over a year ago. You and I weren't even together. 91 00:04:12,352 --> 00:04:15,048 And I figured at most they could end up friends. 92 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,613 Well, you also told me he was great in the sack. 93 00:04:17,657 --> 00:04:18,885 Kim, I will kill you. 94 00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:23,762 He's not, sweetie. 95 00:04:25,231 --> 00:04:28,826 I can't do this all on my own 96 00:04:28,868 --> 00:04:30,358 No, I know 97 00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:32,894 I'm no Superman 98 00:04:35,508 --> 00:04:37,203 I'm no Superman 99 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,204 See you then. 100 00:04:41,247 --> 00:04:43,181 They're coming by for lunch so we can air everything out 101 00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:44,513 and get past all this weirdness. 102 00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:45,812 Sean's coming here? 103 00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:47,080 You don't realize how much it sucks 104 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,554 to spend time with someone you used to sleep with. 105 00:04:49,589 --> 00:04:52,057 You used to sleep with Kim and I have to see her every week. 106 00:04:52,091 --> 00:04:53,956 - That's totally different. - How? 107 00:04:53,993 --> 00:04:55,961 I don't know, Elliot. I'm not some genius 108 00:04:55,995 --> 00:04:58,862 that knows why things that seem the same are actually very different. 109 00:04:58,898 --> 00:05:00,365 Be crazier. 110 00:05:02,001 --> 00:05:04,765 Did you put on that cologne I hate to punish me? 111 00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,066 That's insane. 112 00:05:06,105 --> 00:05:07,629 J.D.: Insanely true. 113 00:05:09,008 --> 00:05:10,134 Go. 114 00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:13,840 Now, I know I gave all of you five-to-one odds, 115 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:18,317 but no one stitches an orange faster than me. No one. 116 00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:21,843 I am a god! Done! 117 00:05:22,121 --> 00:05:23,315 Damn it. 118 00:05:23,356 --> 00:05:26,223 Oh, good, this is where you interns are located. 119 00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:29,626 Here I was worried you were out taking care of sick people. 120 00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:31,220 Finished. Oh, crap. 121 00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:32,356 Leave. 122 00:05:32,398 --> 00:05:33,956 I'll take that. 123 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,366 - I heard you were looking for me. - Yes. 124 00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:39,132 I want to officially put my name in for the Chief of Surgery. 125 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:42,032 That's a good one. 126 00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:44,543 Laugh all you want, but I'm still getting that job. 127 00:05:44,577 --> 00:05:46,704 I know we don't always get along personally, 128 00:05:46,746 --> 00:05:49,772 but in my defense, it's because you're a huge jackass. 129 00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:52,614 I'm the best cutter in this place and you know it. 130 00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:53,949 When you put it that way, 131 00:05:53,986 --> 00:05:57,444 you compel me to consult with the Decision Committee. 132 00:05:58,424 --> 00:06:00,358 "Say, Perry?" "Yes, Perry?" 133 00:06:00,393 --> 00:06:01,655 "Listen, I was wondering, 134 00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:05,255 "can Dr. Turk here be the new Chief of Surgery?" 135 00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:08,893 "Well, I haven't hit the bottle yet today so I'm not that drunk. 136 00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:11,904 "The answer's no, not in this lifetime." 137 00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:15,135 Sorry, there, I did everything possible. Strength. 138 00:06:19,512 --> 00:06:21,980 - How are you feeling? - Not great. 139 00:06:22,014 --> 00:06:23,140 But now when I hurl, 140 00:06:23,182 --> 00:06:26,674 I've been trying to say the names of my favorite novels, so that's fun. 141 00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:27,777 Hmm. 142 00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:30,345 Look, I'm sure I just have an enterovirus, 143 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,255 so order me forty cc's of... 144 00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:35,818 No, you are not a doctor here anymore, you will not treat yourself. 145 00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:37,227 I'm siccing the interns on you. 146 00:06:37,263 --> 00:06:39,322 Oh, come on. Hi. 147 00:06:39,365 --> 00:06:41,026 - Hi. - Hi. 148 00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:43,001 What happened to your sleeve there, Tex? 149 00:06:43,035 --> 00:06:45,367 I sewed an orange onto it. 150 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,032 I'll take the foreigner. 151 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,141 Yay! I'm so happy. 152 00:06:55,815 --> 00:06:58,215 I dropped Sam off at the daycare upstairs 153 00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:59,650 and they seem really good with him. 154 00:06:59,685 --> 00:07:00,913 - Yeah, they were good. - Didn't they? Yeah. 155 00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:02,215 - It was a good group of people. - So good. 156 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,883 - Good, good. - Good things are good. So it's good. 157 00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:07,085 Stop saying "good," Sean. You sound like an ass. 158 00:07:07,126 --> 00:07:08,855 You said it too. He said "good." 159 00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:11,329 No, I didn't, Sean. Can you believe this guy? 160 00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:13,059 I need to talk to Kim, maybe we should divide up. 161 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,532 I vote yes. 162 00:07:15,034 --> 00:07:17,696 - You said "good." - Nobody cares, Sean. 163 00:07:18,638 --> 00:07:19,969 Nobody cares. 164 00:07:25,878 --> 00:07:29,314 Am I gonna have a office this fancy when I'm the Chief of Surgery? 165 00:07:29,348 --> 00:07:32,909 It's dangerous to try to reason with delusional people, 166 00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:35,648 so I'm just gonna go about my business. 167 00:07:35,688 --> 00:07:39,385 Okay, I'll go, but only because it's time for my peer recommendation. 168 00:07:39,425 --> 00:07:40,722 Right here, buddy. 169 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:44,059 I get embarrassed when people say nice things about me. 170 00:07:44,096 --> 00:07:45,427 Handle your business. 171 00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:48,931 Dr. Turk should be chief because he's skilled technically, 172 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:50,959 he's super-efficient, he's got an awesome dong, 173 00:07:51,003 --> 00:07:52,937 he's great with laparoscopic procedures, 174 00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:54,030 patients love him... 175 00:07:54,073 --> 00:07:57,042 What was that middle one? 176 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:58,535 Laparoscopic? 177 00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:01,513 So you're the best he could muster up? 178 00:08:01,547 --> 00:08:04,675 Oh, no, I'm not the only one. We all want Turk. 179 00:08:15,962 --> 00:08:18,829 You want him to be the Chief of Surgery? 180 00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:22,801 That depends. Does he get a special chief hat, like a police chief? 181 00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:23,961 - No. - Okay. 182 00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:25,994 If you give him the job, and I make him a hat, 183 00:08:26,038 --> 00:08:28,165 will you force him to wear it? 184 00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:31,574 I was thinking like an old time scuba diver helmet. 185 00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:34,011 "Hello. You need a new colon." 186 00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:37,110 No. 187 00:08:37,383 --> 00:08:38,611 Is that a maybe? 188 00:08:41,087 --> 00:08:42,782 You ready to do this? 189 00:08:42,822 --> 00:08:44,585 Let's air some crap out. 190 00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:49,288 I feel guilty because we used to be friends 191 00:08:49,328 --> 00:08:52,092 and now I resent you so much for having a baby with J.D. 192 00:08:52,131 --> 00:08:55,191 That sometimes I dream about you dying. 193 00:08:56,068 --> 00:08:58,195 Also, if you ever even touch J.D., 194 00:08:58,237 --> 00:09:00,762 I have sex with him in the car in front of a random creepy bicyclist 195 00:09:00,806 --> 00:09:02,171 that J.D. Thinks I don't see. 196 00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,836 - That sounds healthy. - I think it is. 197 00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:07,539 Look, if it makes you feel any better, 198 00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:10,174 I used to dream about you dying all the time. 199 00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:12,309 - Really? - Yeah. Seriously. 200 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,478 What do you think the women are talking about? 201 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:16,317 I'm not psychic, Sean. 202 00:09:16,355 --> 00:09:17,652 But they better not be all chummy, 203 00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:19,954 chatting about which one of us is better in bed. 204 00:09:19,992 --> 00:09:22,017 They're women. They don't talk about that. 205 00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:24,791 J.D.'s better at sex, Sean's better at foreplay. 206 00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:28,061 J.D.'s great at foreplay. He just takes the "play" part literally, 207 00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:29,692 so you've got to embrace all of his games. 208 00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:33,967 You know, there's "Nooks and Crannies," "Upsy-Daisies." 209 00:09:34,006 --> 00:09:35,337 - "Who's in There?" - Oh. 210 00:09:35,374 --> 00:09:37,638 Followed after by "What's in There?" 211 00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:40,111 - "Mr. Peep Tries on Hats." - Love that one. 212 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,145 It's not fair that we still have to be in each other's lives. 213 00:09:43,182 --> 00:09:44,706 I know. But I also know 214 00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:47,651 the girls aren't gonna let up until we make peace. 215 00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:49,951 So, what do you say we change the tone a little bit 216 00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:52,924 and both say something nice about each other? 217 00:09:53,626 --> 00:09:55,116 I'll go first. 218 00:09:56,195 --> 00:09:57,685 Look at you. 219 00:09:57,730 --> 00:10:00,756 There's no way around it, you're a beautiful man. 220 00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:04,165 - Thank you, J.D. - Now you go. 221 00:10:04,203 --> 00:10:07,297 - I never agreed to that. - You beautiful son of a bitch. 222 00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:10,366 Look, we need to stop seeing each other as enemies. 223 00:10:10,409 --> 00:10:12,639 Sean, you and I have had sex with the same women, 224 00:10:12,678 --> 00:10:15,579 therefore, we're wiener cousins. 225 00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:20,381 And where I come from, this right here is stronger than family. 226 00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:24,013 - That's ridiculous. - Oh, is it ridiculous, fellows? 227 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:29,652 Nurse Roberts. Both of them, one night. May she rest in peace. 228 00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:32,027 Cuz? 229 00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:34,359 Okay. 230 00:10:35,534 --> 00:10:40,028 - I'm not hooking fingers. - Okay, it won't be official. 231 00:10:42,541 --> 00:10:44,099 We touched. It counts. 232 00:10:45,611 --> 00:10:47,738 I'm just putting an IV in, okay? 233 00:10:49,081 --> 00:10:50,207 Sir? 234 00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:53,682 Sir, are you okay? 235 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,678 Bah! 236 00:10:56,822 --> 00:10:58,687 One-nothing, Bobbo. 237 00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:01,090 Good one. Hold still. 238 00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:04,189 Damn it! We're even. 239 00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:06,130 That wasn't a vein, was it? 240 00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:09,999 That's okay, sweetheart. You're probably just nervous. 241 00:11:10,036 --> 00:11:14,200 So why don't you go get a cup of water to relax and we'll try it again? 242 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,765 Thanks. I'll be right back. 243 00:11:16,809 --> 00:11:18,470 Take your time. 244 00:11:28,554 --> 00:11:33,150 The Grapes of... The Grapes of Wrath! 245 00:11:37,963 --> 00:11:40,864 I'm so proud of you for working things out with Sean. 246 00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:43,494 What can I say? He's my wiener cuz. 247 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,163 Kim and I are bajingo sisters. 248 00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:48,071 - You always wanted one of those. - I know! 249 00:11:48,107 --> 00:11:50,337 - There's Sammy. - Hey. 250 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:51,604 Hi. 251 00:11:53,479 --> 00:11:55,504 It's okay. It's okay. 252 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:58,381 J.D.: As a parent, you realize there are things much more annoying 253 00:11:58,417 --> 00:12:00,977 than your child crying in your ear. 254 00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:03,045 Someday, he'll lie to your face. 255 00:12:03,089 --> 00:12:06,490 - Oh, who placed that IV? - That other intern did it. 256 00:12:06,525 --> 00:12:07,924 Mmm-hmm. 257 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:10,554 Or he'll relentlessly pester you for a toy he wants. 258 00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:13,224 Are you gonna give me that job or what? 259 00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:18,995 He's a little sad. 260 00:12:19,038 --> 00:12:23,498 Oh. Can you take him? He never cries when Sean holds him. 261 00:12:23,542 --> 00:12:26,067 J.D.: Still, nothing really matters as long as you know in your heart 262 00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:28,672 that your child loves you the most. 263 00:12:29,148 --> 00:12:31,207 All better, little man. 264 00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:33,282 Bye, guys. 265 00:12:42,995 --> 00:12:44,929 - What was that? - Don't worry about it. 266 00:12:44,964 --> 00:12:47,455 So Sam stopped crying the second Sean picked him up, huh? 267 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,559 - That's harsh. - I know. 268 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,934 J.D. Was a little quiet last night, but I'm proud of him. 269 00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:53,495 He's really handling it well. 270 00:12:56,809 --> 00:12:58,902 Your plan to sex up my old girlfriend 271 00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:01,572 so you can turn my baby boy against me is over. 272 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,081 Hey, buddy. 273 00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:06,676 No, no, no, no, no, no. No. What's wrong? What's wrong? 274 00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:10,280 It's okay. How are you doing this? Are you a sorcerer? 275 00:13:11,690 --> 00:13:12,714 Hey, J.D. 276 00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:18,156 Hey, Dr. Cox, I heard you were hiring Dr. Turk as the new Chief of Surgery. 277 00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:22,493 - I told her the good news. - It's not happening. 278 00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:24,799 I have tried to communicate that message to you 279 00:13:24,837 --> 00:13:27,829 every single way I know how, but you won't hear it. 280 00:13:27,873 --> 00:13:31,570 Honestly, the only option I have left is to concentrate really hard 281 00:13:31,610 --> 00:13:34,306 and see if I can shoot my actual message 282 00:13:34,346 --> 00:13:36,439 right into your big bald head. 283 00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:40,383 I know you don't wanna give me the job. 284 00:13:40,419 --> 00:13:44,253 My God, it worked. This is a terrific day for science. 285 00:13:44,723 --> 00:13:46,281 Time to call in the closer. 286 00:13:47,359 --> 00:13:48,724 A word. 287 00:13:49,094 --> 00:13:51,688 Why do you always have your wife fight your battles for you? 288 00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:54,290 I do. Get him, woman. 289 00:14:00,105 --> 00:14:03,404 - What are you doing? - I'm doctoring my file. 290 00:14:03,442 --> 00:14:04,670 What are you doing? 291 00:14:04,710 --> 00:14:08,510 I'm making a special hat in case black doctor gets the Chief of Surgery job. 292 00:14:09,281 --> 00:14:12,148 I need you to guard this door while I take care of some business. 293 00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:13,344 Why should I? 294 00:14:13,385 --> 00:14:15,182 You know why. 295 00:14:15,221 --> 00:14:16,848 The bond that can't be broken. 296 00:14:16,889 --> 00:14:20,552 That was 20 years ago, but I'll honor the code. 297 00:14:26,098 --> 00:14:29,295 You seemed so happy in the Bahamas. How come you left? 298 00:14:30,769 --> 00:14:33,363 I thought it was a nude beach. 299 00:14:33,405 --> 00:14:35,873 - It was a church, Bob. - So? 300 00:14:38,744 --> 00:14:41,110 Fine, I'll go. 301 00:14:43,282 --> 00:14:46,183 - Hey, stop him. - Whoa, buddy. Hey. Hey. 302 00:14:47,853 --> 00:14:50,413 It was time to go. Mmm. 303 00:14:54,326 --> 00:14:57,318 Oh, good, someone already gave him the shot. 304 00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,388 Hey, can I have that? I wanna put it on something I'm making. 305 00:15:00,432 --> 00:15:01,956 I don't think that's okay. 306 00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:03,400 It's a hat. 307 00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:05,633 I'm gonna hang on to this. 308 00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:11,341 See, he's fine now, but when I get close... 309 00:15:14,046 --> 00:15:16,378 It doesn't make any sense. 310 00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,383 Unless, of course, someone is shocking him 311 00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:20,885 by pressing a remote control button. 312 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,411 - What's that in your hand, Sean? - Yogurt. 313 00:15:23,455 --> 00:15:26,253 - What's at the bottom of it? - Peach. Peaches. 314 00:15:26,292 --> 00:15:28,055 - Give me that! - J.D. 315 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,196 Okay, you're clean. 316 00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:34,463 Did you see what he did? That was my last yogurt. 317 00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,297 I know, calm down. 318 00:15:36,335 --> 00:15:38,200 And he said "good" yesterday. I heard him. 319 00:15:38,237 --> 00:15:40,967 You know what? Give us a minute to talk. Come on. 320 00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:45,101 What the hell are you doing? 321 00:15:46,211 --> 00:15:47,838 I don't know. 322 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:52,249 Look, after my parents divorced, my dad really wasn't around for me. 323 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:57,218 And I promised myself I was going to be a better father than he was. 324 00:15:58,724 --> 00:16:01,921 Now Sam cries like I'm some kind of stranger. 325 00:16:03,028 --> 00:16:06,725 And I like that Sean has a relationship with him, I do. 326 00:16:07,366 --> 00:16:10,335 - Thanks, man. - I'm not talking to you, Sean. 327 00:16:10,769 --> 00:16:13,101 You are a great dad. 328 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,774 Then why can't I hold him? 329 00:16:19,378 --> 00:16:20,470 Hi, guys. 330 00:16:20,512 --> 00:16:23,003 If you don't stop treating yourself, I'm going to have you strapped down. 331 00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:24,106 Naughty. 332 00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:29,109 And you, just give Turk the job already. He's a natural leader. 333 00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:32,817 Plus, I'm about to spit out a second kid, I could use the extra cash. 334 00:16:32,858 --> 00:16:35,656 I knew damn sure you were gonna go ahead and make this personal. 335 00:16:35,694 --> 00:16:37,525 Am I supposed to give him a job 336 00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:39,861 because you and I are such good friends? 337 00:16:39,898 --> 00:16:42,423 I wouldn't ask you if I didn't know he was right for it. 338 00:16:42,468 --> 00:16:45,460 Bob, who's the best all-around surgeon in this place? 339 00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:46,971 Turkleton, hands down. 340 00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:48,371 Kiss more butt, Bob. 341 00:16:48,407 --> 00:16:52,002 And you're giving me lip for making this personal? 342 00:16:52,044 --> 00:16:54,774 The only reason you're not giving Turk this job 343 00:16:54,813 --> 00:16:57,714 is because of your personal feelings for him. 344 00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,843 - That's just not true. - Liar. 345 00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:04,621 The Adventures of Huckleberry... The Adventures of Huckleberry... 346 00:17:04,923 --> 00:17:06,356 Don't puke on me, Bob. 347 00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:09,891 Sorry. Just a burp. 348 00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:12,760 Look, I know you're just trying to cheer me up. 349 00:17:12,798 --> 00:17:14,993 No, trust me, there have been times 350 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:18,697 when I wanted to tell people you're a terrible dad. But you're not. 351 00:17:18,737 --> 00:17:20,432 You spend tons of time with Sam. 352 00:17:20,472 --> 00:17:22,201 You call him every night so he can hear your voice. 353 00:17:22,241 --> 00:17:24,004 You write him all those stories about unicorns. 354 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,773 Seriously, how do you come up with so many? 355 00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:29,508 They just come to me. And I got to get them out, you know? 356 00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:31,311 - No, I don't know. - They're magical. 357 00:17:31,350 --> 00:17:32,578 They're not. 358 00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:36,884 Look, whatever is making Sam cry, it's not about you. It's about him. 359 00:17:36,922 --> 00:17:39,288 You know, babies are sensitive to all kinds of things, 360 00:17:39,324 --> 00:17:42,885 bright lights, temperature, new smells. 361 00:17:43,495 --> 00:17:46,089 The cologne I've been wearing to try and punish Elliot! 362 00:17:46,832 --> 00:17:50,165 Yes! Thanks for the shower and the loaner clothes. 363 00:17:50,202 --> 00:17:53,694 Look at that face. It's like he's got all of our best features. 364 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:55,229 No, he got your chin. 365 00:17:55,274 --> 00:17:57,469 Wow. I'm having a moment. 366 00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:03,941 Bob, would you please close the back of that thing up? 367 00:18:03,982 --> 00:18:07,247 - Calm down, Perry. It's for the ladies. - I'm sure they're grateful. 368 00:18:07,286 --> 00:18:11,052 Hey, why did you check yourself into the hospital for a glorified flu bug? 369 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,684 In my defense, I thought I might also be dealing 370 00:18:13,725 --> 00:18:16,193 with some issues from eating a raw starfish. 371 00:18:16,228 --> 00:18:17,490 Oh. 372 00:18:17,529 --> 00:18:21,124 But you know what I realized when I was treating myself? 373 00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:23,595 I miss being a doctor. 374 00:18:23,635 --> 00:18:26,570 Well, here's your chance to get back in the game there, big guy. 375 00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:29,267 Am I wrong to not hire Gandhi? 376 00:18:29,308 --> 00:18:31,071 I thought it was going to be something doctory. 377 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,101 - Of course you're wrong. - But he bothers me. 378 00:18:33,145 --> 00:18:34,203 Everybody bothers you. 379 00:18:34,246 --> 00:18:36,680 Hell, you used to bother me when I was the chief, 380 00:18:36,715 --> 00:18:40,116 but I kept moving you up because you were the best man for the job. 381 00:18:40,152 --> 00:18:44,020 Now the question is, is Turkleton the best man for the job? 382 00:18:45,924 --> 00:18:48,188 Those are some pretty good stitches you got going there. 383 00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:50,752 Yeah, I used to be terrible at it 384 00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:54,163 but Dr. Turk made us practice with oranges every day to get better. 385 00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:58,361 Hmm. Nice buns, hon. 386 00:18:58,403 --> 00:19:01,372 Thank you, darling! Suck it, Perry. 387 00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:09,136 J.D.: Elliot came over later. Even though it was better, 388 00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:12,241 I wouldn't say the awkwardness was totally gone. 389 00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:17,186 Whoa, weird flashback. Like the ghosts of couples past. 390 00:19:17,422 --> 00:19:18,787 - Oh, yeah, no. - No. 391 00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:21,258 - I'll get up. - No, no, it's your house. 392 00:19:21,293 --> 00:19:22,851 - It's so silly. - Okay. 393 00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:24,294 - It's your house. - You guys go there. 394 00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:26,297 J.D.: Ladies should sit. - There you go. Thank you. 395 00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:27,491 Well, no, that's kind of weird. 396 00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:29,728 - It's nice, but not... - I'll get up. 397 00:19:29,768 --> 00:19:30,996 J.D.: I'm a guest. I guess the guest... 398 00:19:31,036 --> 00:19:32,765 You together. J.D.: We're the guests. 399 00:19:32,804 --> 00:19:33,896 Yeah, exactly. 400 00:19:33,939 --> 00:19:35,907 The guests. The guests will sit on the couch. 401 00:19:35,941 --> 00:19:37,033 That's where guests sit. 402 00:19:37,075 --> 00:19:40,670 Can I get you guys anything? Wine maybe? 403 00:19:40,712 --> 00:19:42,873 - I'll have a yogurt. - Don't start. 404 00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:44,007 You know what we should do? 405 00:19:44,049 --> 00:19:47,041 Sam's napping, let's watch this video I've been making of him. 406 00:19:47,085 --> 00:19:48,109 Yes. 407 00:19:48,153 --> 00:19:49,347 J.D.: There are moments in your life 408 00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:51,652 that make you realize what you've been missing. 409 00:19:52,424 --> 00:19:54,358 Whether it's an old job. 410 00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:03,197 Or the best person for a new job. 411 00:20:08,273 --> 00:20:11,037 Congratulations, you're the new Chief of Surgery. 412 00:20:11,076 --> 00:20:13,203 - Say thank you. - Thank you. 413 00:20:19,518 --> 00:20:22,919 I told you. I told you, baby. I told everyone. Come here. 414 00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:24,946 I told everyone. Hail to the chief. 415 00:20:26,191 --> 00:20:28,819 So there he is with his little red wagon. 416 00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:31,559 And that's my cousin's puppy. 417 00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:35,363 J.D.: As I sat there, enjoying images from my son's young life, 418 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,766 I realized that I was seeing these moments the same way 419 00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:40,499 Sean and Elliot were, for the first time. 420 00:20:40,539 --> 00:20:44,839 The truth is, no matter how hard I tried, I was gonna miss a lot. 421 00:20:45,444 --> 00:20:50,677 Because even the best part-time father in the world, is still a part-time father. 422 00:20:51,550 --> 00:20:53,381 I think I'm going to move here. 423 00:20:56,221 --> 00:20:57,449 Great. 424 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,730 I'm not wearing that. 425 00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:07,129 It's not up to you. 426 00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:09,661 Fine. 427 00:21:13,071 --> 00:21:14,663 It is kind of cool. 428 00:21:15,674 --> 00:21:17,403 I want it back. 429 00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:20,036 Too late. Chief coming through. 430 00:21:21,346 --> 00:21:22,574 Salute. 431 00:21:23,515 --> 00:21:25,142 There it is. 432 00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:27,679 I'll just wear my other one.